


Friend or Lover, It's One or the Other.

by Counting_the_stars



Category: 1D - Fandom, Harry Styles - Fandom, One Direction (Band), niall horan - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Dating, F/M, Fluff, Jealousy, NSFW, Romance, Slow Build, Touring, Unrequited Love, in love with your friends girl, jelaous, relationships, romantic plot, worst right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-03-16 18:53:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 179,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13642395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Counting_the_stars/pseuds/Counting_the_stars
Summary: Anna Brent wanted a normal life. Become a teacher, settle down, maybe marry, maybe kids. Normal. Safe. That's what she was looking for.Knowing Niall and Harry was not part of the plan.Loving Niall or Harry was definitely not part of the plan.





	1. Introductions all round

Anna lay on her back on the couch in the dressing room throwing a tennis ball she’d found above her head.

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t bring Lux with you.” Anna caught the ball and threw it back into the air. Lou sat on a make up chair cleaning some hairbrushes.

“Because sweetheart, you work part time in child care, and have nearly completed your study to be a teacher, so when you actually get to see me, I don’t want you have to worry about Lux.” Lou replied sighing as she picked up the next brush.

“Yeah but you are just working. I could be… a unicorn by now.” Anna caught the ball once more and sat up.

“You can still be a unicorn around me. I promise I won’t judge you.” Lou laughed, “Besides, this is hardly working.” Lou put down the brush and swiveled her chair around to face Anna.

“What are you even doing today?” Anna fiddled with the ball in her hands.

“Wardrobe for the upcoming tour.” Lou replied tying her white blonde hair into a messy bun.

“Will Caroline be here?” Anna asked happily. Lou nodded in response, a hair tie in her mouth.

“So why are you needed?” Anna sat back into the couch still fiddling with the ball in her hands.  
“I dunno. They probably need to know what their hair is going to look like or something. I don’t know. They call, I answer.” Lou shrugged. “Come here, let me play with your hair while we wait.”

“Oh so you’re allowed to work and I’m not.” Anna laughed and made her way to the chair Lou was previously sitting in.

“Shh. This isn’t work. I like doing this.” Lou started to brush through Anna’s long brown hair.

“I like working in childcare.” Anna winced as Lou caught a knot.

“Well obviously you’re insane aren’t you?” Lou nodded as she began a braid on one side of Anna’s head.  
Anna laughed sarcastically in response.

“Two braids. That’s all you wanted to do?” Anna asked as she looked into the mirror, Lou tying the second hair tie into her hair.

“Well mainly I wanted to get that hair out of your eyes, you always have your face covered. Look at those big green eyes.” Lou grabbed Anna’s chin lightly, smiling at her.

“You’re going to make me blush.” Anna shook her head out of Lou’s hands.

“What kind of role model to you would I be if I didn’t make you blush once in a while?” Lou laughed sweeping away a loose strand of hair away from Anna’s face.

“Role model?” Anna scoffed.

“I’m older than you. Therefore, role model.” Lou answered smugly.

“Need I remind you who the designated driver is?” Anna laughed.

“Exactly. I’m trying to teach you how to live. You keep cockblocking me.” Lou shoved Anna lightly.

The door to the dressing room opened and in walked Caroline followed by the five members of the band.

“That’s my cue to exit. Dinner tomorrow yeah?” Anna asked picking up her bag.

“You don’t have to go, really! It shouldn’t take too long.” Lou replied as Harry approached her.

“Nah, it’s ok. I don’t want to stop your work. I have some studying I should do.” Anna quickly pulled Lou into a hug.

“Alright. Dinner tomorrow yeah?” Lou asked as they separated.

“Yep. See you tomorrow.” Anna started to leave as Harry stood next to Lou.

“Alright Anna?” He asked quietly.

“Hi Harry. Bye Harry.” Anna waved shortly, smiling at him.

“You’re heading out?” He asked quickly.

“Yeah, don’t want to interrupt. I’ve got some study to do. I’ll catch you round though.” Anna started to turn to leave again.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Harry said causing Anna to turn again.

“Honestly I’m going to get whiplash.” Anna laughed. “Seriously Harry, I’ve got school work to do. I’ll catch you round. See you tomorrow.” Anna directed to Lou before she turned and walked quickly out the door waving to Niall once before exiting.

“I feel like she doesn’t like me.” Harry said turning to Lou.

“Course she does Love. She’s just got work to do.” Lou replied directing Harry to the chair that Anna had previously been sitting in when Lou did her hair.

“She leaves every time we come into the room.” Harry said as he ran a hand through his hair in worry. “She’s your friend, I just want her to like me.”

“She does. She only leaves because she knows I’ve got work to do. Speaking of which. What on earth do you expect me to do with you hair?” Lou laughed as she played with the long curls around Harry’s neck.

“I don’t know. You’re the looks lady.” Harry smiled at her.

\---

Anna knocked on Lou’s front door shivering slightly. She heard the stampede of Lux’s small feet come barreling down the hallway, and the heavier stomps of Lou as she followed her.

“ANNA!” Lux yelled as Lou opened the door.

“Luxy!” Anna replied stepping in from the cold. Lux immediately clung to her legs. “Let me get my coat off and then I can give you a proper hug yeah?” Lux let go but continued to bounce on the balls of her feet as Anna hung up her coat.

“Ok, come here kiddo.” Anna held out her arms and Lux launched herself into them.

Long after dinner was complete and Lux was asleep in Anna’s arms on the couch, Lou brought out a cup of tea.

“Lifesaver you are.” Anna said gratefully as she accepted the cup.

“So you know Harry thinks you don’t like him.” Lou said suddenly sitting on the armchair across from Anna.

“Why would he think that?” Anna asked surprised.

“Probably because you bolt from the room whenever the band comes in.” Lou answered blowing on the hot liquid in her mug.

“Yeah, but that’s just because you are working and I don’t want to interrupt.” Anna replied.

“The only time you actually stick around is when Lux is there and as soon as the boys start playing with her you leave.” Lou rebutted.

“Well she doesn’t need me around if they are there, does she?” Anna shrugged. She hadn’t really given it much thought. She just thought that she should leave.

“Even still, you can see why he’d think that.” Lou continued.

“Well yeah I guess. It’s certainly not intentional.” Anna drank some of the warm tea feeling it melt her insides.

“Just hang around for a bit next time yeah, would you?” Lou asked, her eyes on her friend.

“If you think it will help. But honestly I don’t have a problem with any of the boys. They all seem lovely.” Anna drank more of her tea while Lux shifted in her sleep.

“You would know that they were all lovely if you stuck around you know.” Lou said with a cheeky grin.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’ll hang around.” Anna rolled her eyes.

“Great, you can start tomorrow. I was going to have lunch with Harry, you can tag along.” Lou said happily.

“I can’t tomorrow. I’ve got class. Day after yeah, all yours. Will Lux be there?” Anna asked finishing her cup of tea.

“Yeah, I’ll see if I can shift lunch. But yeah Lux will be there.” Lou replied swirling the contents of her cup.

“Don’t change that around for me. You have lunch and I’ll just see you the day after.” Anna adjusted Lux on her lap to prevent her legs from going to sleep.

“Alright. But you will hang out with them.” Lou said sternly.

“Yes, yes, I will. I’m not backing out. I’m going to put Lux in bed and then I’m off.” Anna said standing with the toddler and walking towards the staircase.

“No backing out.” Lou called from the other room.

\---

Anna stepped off the bus in front of the recording studio, committing to her promise to Lou to spend some time with the band. She didn’t have anything against any of them; she really just didn’t want to be in their way. She’d known Lou for years but it was only recently that they’d become a lot closer. She didn’t want to appear like she was using Lou to get close to the band. Anna genuinely loved both Lux and Lou and wouldn’t do anything to sabotage their friendship. So here she was walking into the main reception to hang out with the band and a few other crewmembers as they worked on their new album. It was rare for them to all be in London at an actual recording studio with all the travel they did. It was more reason for Anna to be nervous. She really didn’t want to get in the way of their work. At least Lux would be there and Anna could just play with her out of the way if she felt too intrusive.  
Lou was waiting inside the reception holding Lux as Anna entered.

“Auntie Anna.” Lux wriggled out of Lou’s arms and ran towards her.

“Auntie Anna?” Anna asked as she scooped up Lux in her arms.

“Yes. You are my auntie and I am your nice.” Lux said proudly.

“My nice?” Anna laughed. “I think you mean niece Luxy.”

“Oh.” Lux looked upset.

“But you are the nicest niece to ever exist.” Anna said hugging the child tightly. Anna felt Lux giggle against her.

“I am so happy you came.” Lou said stepping forward and giving Anna a one armed hug.

“Told you I would come, didn’t I?” Anna replied as they headed towards the recording rooms.

“Yes, but I thought you might back out.” Lou nudged Anna before opening a door for her.

“Hey, if it’s important to you, it’s important to me. But if I get in the way, just tell me and I’ll take Lux for a walk. Yeah?” Anna said as she walked into the room.

“Yeah, yeah.” Lou mumbled behind her.

“Who’s this Miss Lux?” Harry asked as Anna put Lux down. The girl still hugged her leg.

“Auntie Anna.” Lux said proudly.

“Auntie?” Harry said straightening up.

“Apparently.” Anna shrugged smiling at him.

“She’s just learnt about family titles at day care.” Lou explained closing the door behind her.

“If Anna is your Aunt, what does that make me?” Harry asked Lux. She looked at him confused for a little while before smiling broadly and saying extremely confidently 

“You’re Harry silly.” Anna erupted into a fit of giggles. Harry smiled at Lux.

“Not exactly what I was wanting but I’ll take it.” Lux continued to cling to Anna’s legs.

\---

Anna sat on a couch in the room, Lux sitting on her lap with a colouring book. One by one each member of the band would go and sing for a little while and then come back to the waiting room with Lou, Anna and Lux.

“You’re really good with her.” Harry said flopping down onto the couch beside Anna, having just entered the room.

Anna shrugged in response. “I love kids and I love Lux.”

“Pink one Anna.” Lux said turning back to look at her.

“Of course Luxy.” Anna smiled handing her a pink pencil.

“Thank you.” Lux replied politely.

“Great manners buddy.” Harry said as Lux smiled in response.

“So you’re at uni?” Harry asked.

Anna nodded, “Teaching, final year this year. Early childhood. So ready for the study to be over and to actually get into a school.”

“You know this is the longest that I have ever seen you hang around.” Harry said standing up from the couch to go back into the recording booth. Anna smiled in response as she handed Lux another pencil.

“You should hang around more, if you want.” Harry said as he opened the door.

“Yeah, maybe.” Anna shrugged , she’d been out of the way today, mainly entertaining Lux, but what if Lux wasn’t there the next time. She’d just be interrupting Lou or one of the band members. Harry stuck his head back in the door.

“That sounded very non committal.”

“Shut up.” Anna laughed as he exited again.

“See that wasn’t too bad was it?” Lou asked as she and Anna packed up Lux’s bag.

“Not at all.” Anna agreed looking over at Lux who was napping on the couch.

“Good, now you don’t feel the need to leave every time they come into the room.” Lou said zipping up the backpack.

“Yeah. I guess.” Anna shrugged; she seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

“Look, I’m just saying, when you want to hang and I’m here, you can still hang alright?” Lou said putting the strap of the bag over her shoulder.

“Yeah I get it. We’re good. Anyway I have exams coming up soon, so I’ll be hibernating for a bit.” Anna said as Harry walked back in the room car keys in hand.

“You right?” He asked Lou.

“Yeah just gotta get this little nugget.” Lou said looking at her peacefully sleeping child.

“I’ve got her.” Harry picked up Lux from the couch and she snuggled into his neck. “You need a lift anywhere Anna?”

Anna shook her head, “I’ll take the bus. It’s fine.”

“You sure?” Harry asked adjusting Lux on his shoulder.

“Completely fine. I’ll see you round Harry.” Anna did an awkward little half wave before Lou gave her a hug.

“Harry’s got a big car.” She said as they separated.

“Really it’s fine. I’ll call you when exams are done, yeah?” Anna stood with her hands in her back pockets.

“Yeah, alright. Bye love.” Lou nodded smiling at her friend.

“Good luck on your exams.” Harry called out as Anna exited the building.


	2. Old Friends, New Friends

Three weeks and Anna was finally done. Her last exam finished and her final assignment handed in. She really did feel like she’d been in hibernation the past couple of weeks. Study, study and more study. She would have to wait a while longer to see her results and if she was a fully certified teacher but for right now, the stress of University was over.  
Anna picked up her phone and dialed Lou.

“Alright?” Lou answered.

“I’m done Lou, finally done.” Anna sighed into the phone.

“You’re kidding right? You’re proper finished.” Lou replied excitedly.

“Well, just waiting on results, but I’m done.” Anna rubbed her tired eyes.

“Excellent. Let’s celebrate! Tonight? Let’s go out!” Lou was becoming more and more excited.

“Are you going to be role modeling for me?” Anna laughed.

“Yes, and if you try and be designated driver I’m shoving some vodka down your throat.” Lou answered.

“Honestly Lou, how are you a parent?” Anna continued to laugh.

“I ask myself that all the time. Right 7o’clock, meet in the city yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah, seven. See you then.” Anna hung up the phone sighing. She really hoped the night wouldn’t end badly.

\--

Anna was surprised to see Harry and Niall standing with Lou as she approached the meeting spot she’d arranged with Lou. Lou was bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Anna.” She cried as she embraced her.

“Alright.” Anna said returning the hug.

“Congratulations love!” Lou said excitedly and linking her arm with her own. “Let’s go get drunk!”

Anna exchanged greetings with Niall and Harry as they entered a club. Anna was surprised that there weren’t a lot of photographers around, especially as two One Direction members were with each other. Something had to be said for being seen when they wanted to be and staying in the shadows when they wanted. Lou immediately dragged Anna to the bar and ordered a round of drinks.

About three hours into the night and Anna was getting tired. Lou insisted on dancing, Niall could drink a submarine under the ocean and Harry told every single joke he could think of. Anna’s feet hurt and she was more than a little bit drunk.

\---

After another two hours of dancing Anna was completely famished and was very drunk.

\---

“Need food.” She mouthed to Harry and Lou. Lou nodded her head slowly and attempted to push herself up from the couch she was sitting on, only to fall back down giggling like a maniac. Niall held out his hand and helped her up while Anna stood a little unsteady on her feet.

“You alright?” Niall asked his accent a hundred times thicker after drinking. Anna nodded and couldn’t help the giggle the past her lips. She had no idea what she was laughing at.

“I just need a kebab.” Anna sighed as the fresh air swept over her face.

“YES, YES, YES.” Lou yelled after erupting into another burst of giggles, she had Harry’s arm around her waist and he was supporting her almost entirely.

“Wass time?” Anna slurred trying to focus on the numbers on her phone. Almost half one. Where was she going to find a kebab at this time?

“Follow me.” Niall yelled from in front of him. Considering the amount he’d had to drink he was handling it quite well, until he stood on the curb wrong and was suddenly sitting. Anna doubled over in laughter as she watched him struggle to his feet.

“Think you’re a bit drunk Niall.” She laughed.

Niall shushed her and flung his arms over her shoulders.

“Come on, we are getting you a kebab.” He slurred.

“You sure you can manage?” Anna said still laughing.

“It’s like it all hit me at once.” Niall laughed lightly.

“Was that before or after you fell over?” Anna asked wiping tears from her eyes.

“Shush you.” Niall grinned at her as they continued to walk.

Surprisingly, Niall found a kebab shop and Anna happily scoffed down the food, not caring how messy she looked. She was starving.

“I’m going to regret this in the morning.” She said after swallowing her last mouthful “I don’t even care.” She was starting to sober up, and sober Anna meant sleepy Anna. She could see Lou’s eyes drooping.

“I’ll take Lou home.” Harry said looking between the two women, “Niall you make sure Anna gets home alright.” Anna shook her head.

“No, no need for that. I’ll be fine.” Anna denied the offer. “But do help Lou, she’s not looking amazing.”

“Heeeeyyyyyyy.” Lou piped up from where she was nearly half asleep on Harry.

“Sorry love, only the truth from me. I’m not looking all that crash hot either.” Anna laughed pushing her hair out of her eyes.

“Hey, you both look lovely.” Niall said sitting up a little straighter.

“Thanks Niall.” Anna smiled at him as she struggled to her feet. “Ok, I am going home. See you all in the next time I see you…” Anna trailed off. Lou mumbled some sort of response as Harry stood her up.

“Congratulations again Anna.” He smiled at her.

“You too… wait. No… Ok… bye.” Anna laughed once more and walked towards a taxi rank ready to get into her bed.

\---

It was almost three weeks later when Lou called Anna out of the blue at ten in the morning.

“Do you want to come hang again today?” Lou asked Anna. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Yeah, I actually have a day off. Is Lux coming?” Anna answered picking up a coat.

“Nah, she’s with Tom.” Lou replied, Anna could hear the voices of the band in the background.

“Fair enough. Who’dya want me to meet?” Anna asked pulling shoes onto her feet.

“Umm… wait till you get here and I’ll explain.” Lou answered lowering her voice.

“Ok then. See you soon yeah.” Anna said goodbye and exited her house.

“So what’s going on?” Anna asked as Lou met her out the front of the building.

“Harry’s met someone.” Lou said abruptly.

“Ok…” Anna said slowly.

“I don’t like her.” Lou said stubbornly.

“Ok… Why am I here?” Anna asked confused.

“I just have a bad feeling about her and I want your opinion. I don’t know if I am being protective of Harry or if she’s actually a troll.” Lou said nervously. Anna laughed.

“So you called me in for my infinite wisdom?”

“Absolutely.” Lou was stressed. Anna could tell.

Walking into the room beside the recording studio Anna greeted each of the boys and noticed Harry sitting close to a girl in the corner. He stood up quickly pulling the girl with him when Anna entered.

“Anna.” He greeted smiling broadly.

“Alright Harry.” Anna returned the greeting.

“Anna, I want you to meet Kelly. Kelly this is Anna.” Harry pulled the girl forward. She was about a head shorter than Harry with long brown wavy hair. She was extremely attractive.

Anna held out her hand, “Anna, lovely to meet you.”

“Kelly.” Kelly shook her hand firmly smiling at Anna. She seemed completely normal so far. Maybe Lou was just over reacting.

“How much longer till you get your results?” Harry asked as Anna let go of Kelly’s hand.

“Monday at midday they release them. I have a school that’s interested in hiring me, but I just need the bloody results.” Anna replied to Harry.

“Nervous?” Niall asked from behind Anna.

“Ridiculously.” Anna replied turning slightly.

“What’s this you’re talking about?” Kelly asked.

Anna turned to face Harry and Kelly again; she noted that Kelly was gripping Harry’s hands tightly, probably out of nerves.

“I’ve just finished university, Early childhood teaching.” She explained.

“Urgh. Early childhood. I couldn’t think of anything worse.” Kelly exclaimed, surprising Anna. Harry loved Lux, all kids mostly, how could he be with someone that wouldn’t?

“Oh really?” Anna asked as she took up a seat next to Lou whose brow was furrowed.

“Yes! Kids full time?” Kelly scoffed. “Young ones as well? Awful.”

“Oh no I love kids. Work part time in childcare.” Anna said perhaps more harsh then she intended. It was fine if Kelly didn’t feel a connection to kids like Anna did.

“So, how did you meet?” Anna asked after a very long and awkward pause of which she noticed Kelly trying to give Harry pointed looks.

“A couple of months ago actually.” Kelly said loudly putting her hand on Harry’s knee and squeezing it. Lou shifted uncomfortably beside Anna.

“Just through mutual friends, then we really hit it off, didn’t we Hair-Bear?” Kelly said looking at Harry. He responded with a tightlipped smile while Lou got up from the couch loudly and left the room.

“That’s nice.” Anna said awkwardly.

“It is, isn’t it?” Kelly said smugly.

Anna looked at Niall pleadingly, Anna was beginning to not like Kelly, and she wanted to. But the pet name wanted to make Anna gag.

“Where’s the school Anna?” Niall asked picking up a guitar and starting to strum absentmindedly.

“Winton Primary School. Just outside the city.” Anna said pleased that there was a change in the conversation.

“What grade?” Harry asked as Kelly wiggled further into his side.

Perhaps she just felt threatened, even though she had nothing to worry about. “Grade One and Two I think, we haven’t gone into specifics yet. I’ve gotta pass first.”

“You’ll be fine, you’re great with kids.” Harry said as Kelly lifted his arm and placed it around her shoulders.

Anna saw Niall roll his eyes subtly, “Yeah, unfortunately ‘being great’ doesn’t quite qualify me as a teacher.”

“He’s right Anna, you’ll be great.” Niall agreed.

“Well aren’t you both sweet.” Anna smiled at them.

There was another long pause while Niall continued to play the guitar and Kelly engaged Harry into a whispered conversation.

“Might go see where Lou’s got to.” Anna said standing up from the couch.

“I’ll come too.” Niall said immediately jumping up and placing the guitar in its holder.

Lou was outside pacing back and forth, clearly angry about something.

“Lou?” Anna asked quietly. Lou was chewing on her thumbnail.

“Am I wrong? Please tell me I am wrong.” She said quickly, still pacing.

“I don’t know yet. How long have they been together?”

“About a week officially I think.” Niall sighed in answer.

“What do you think Niall?” Anna asked.

“Don’t like ‘er.” He mumbled.

“I can’t give you an opinion yet Lou. I’m sorry. She seems ok, maybe a bit threatened by the women around Harry. I don’t know.” Anna said honestly.

“Ok well you need to keep observing.” Lou said seriously.

“Lou, what are you going to do if it turns out I don’t like her. What are you going to say to Harry? “Sorry mate, break up with her, Anna and I don’t like her?” Is that what you are going to say? It’s his life Lou, you can’t control who he dates.” Anna said watching Lou continue to pace.

“She’s using him Anna, I know it. Harry’s too sweet of a person to see it.” Lou said stopping looking between Anna and Niall.

“Isn’t that something for Harry to learn?” Anna asked quietly.

“What’s something for me to learn?” Harry’s voice from behind them made them all jump.

“Life basically.” Anna answered before Lou could say anything.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked running a hand through his hair with agitation.

“Nothing Love. It’s nothing.” Lou said nervously looking between Anna and Niall.

“Right.” Harry clearly didn’t believe them. “Niall, Julian wants you in for the chorus.” Niall nodded and headed inside with his head down.

“Harry…” Anna began before pausing, not quite knowing what she was meant to say to him.

“It would be great if you could just tell me what’s going on with you two.” He answered an edge to his voice.

“We just want you to be careful love.” Lou said softly.

“Careful about what?” Harry asked his eyebrows pushing together.

“Just about who you choose to bring into your life.” Lou said sighing.

“Sure I’ll be sure to think about that.” Harry said abruptly before turning and walking back inside.

“Harry…” Lou called out, but he didn’t turn around.

“I’ll go. I’ll get our bags and we can head out yeah?” Anna said squeezing Lou’s shoulder softly. Lou nodded sadly.

“Harry?” Anna called as she entered the break room.

“He’s not here.” Kelly said harshly.

“Oh right. Well, Lou and I are heading off. Just wanted to say goodbye.” Anna said quickly, turning towards the door.

“I know you like him Anna.” Kelly said lowly.

“Sorry?” Anna asked confused turning back to her.

“I know you like him Anna.” Kelly repeated.

“Who?” Anna was genuinely confused.

“Harry. It’s written all over your face. You want him. But he’s mine and will forever be mine so back off.” Kelly growled.

Anna started laughing, “Are you serious? Harry and me? No love, he’s all yours.”

“Don’t ‘love’ me. I know you want him. But he is mine. Do you understand?” Kelly remained hostile.

“Ok yeah I get it. Trust me, Harry is just my friend.” Anna held up her hands, this was confirming everything that Lou thought.

“Not for long.” Kelly said smirking.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anna asked warily.

“He’s mine.” Kelly said flicking some of her impossibly long hair from her shoulder.

“All yours.” Anna agreed shaking her head. Kelly might be a little bit unhinged.

“What’s all yours?” Harry asked gruffly from behind Anna. She felt the breath of him pass her as he stood beside Kelly.

“You are all Kelly’s and Kelly is allllll yours.” Anna said before turning, “Catch you later Harry, if you are allowed.” She couldn't help adding as she rolled her eyes. 

Anna shut the door behind her. Did Kelly really just threaten her? Perhaps Lou was right about her, unless Kelly was completely blindingly in love with Harry, which seemed completely ridiculous. But then again, stranger things could happen.


	3. Just talk to him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting up a recon mission. Harry is not Harry, Lou needs Anna to intervene.

Anna hadn’t seen Lou or anyone from the band for over six months. She’d received her results and graduated and now was a fully-fledged licensed teacher. She’d had the interview and secured a position in the school and was ready to commence the new school year with a grade one class in September. Lou and Anna had kept contact as the band toured around America but chatting was hard with the different time zones and Anna preparing for her new class. They’d finally got a chance to talk and Lou had really only spoken about Harry and Kelly, who had come on tour with them. Lou still hadn’t quite warmed up to her, as it seemed neither did the rest of the band or entourage.

“She’s just always with him.” Lou complained into the phone. “I hardly get to see him anymore.”

“Have you spoken to Harry about this?” Anna asked.

“I’ve tried, but she’s always freaking there. I think she’s just using him to get a modeling contract honestly.” Lou sighed.

“A modeling contract? Well she is pretty enough.” Anna commented, remembering her long brown hair.

“I mean yeah, but her face is sour. You should see some of the people that Harry’s introduced her too. It’s more than enough for her to get her foot in the door.” Anna could hear Lou shuffling around as she spoke.

“What are you doing?” Anna asked curiously.

“Setting up for the show tonight. Boys will be here in a bit.” She answered still moving around.

“Why don’t you talk to him while you get him ready?”

“Because she is honestly always around him. Also he hasn’t seen Lux in goodness knows how long. Lux is hurt, and I just have to keep on making excuses for why he isn’t around.”

“Just say to him that you’d like to have dinner, just the two of you.”

“I’ve tried that Anna. Honestly I’ve tried! Kelly just pouts until he says no, or she just turns up anyway.” Lou sighed and paused. “I just miss him Anna.” Anna heard Lou gasp and drop something.

“Shit Anna I’ll have to call you back. Love you.” Lou said quickly.

“Alright say hi to Lux for me. Love you too.” Anna replied quickly before Lou hung up the phone.

—

“Was that Anna on the phone?” Harry asked watching Lou pick up all the things she’d knocked off her table in alarm when Harry entered the room.

“Yeah.” She answered quietly as she continued to replace what she’d knocked over.

“I haven’t spoken to her in months.” Harry said. Lou nodded in response before she realized that for the first time in a long time Kelly was not attached to him somehow.

“Yeah, yeah. So I was wondering…” Lou began before Harry cut her off.

“Who did you say you missed?” He asked.

“Curious one aren’t you?” Lou laughed, finally recognizing her friend Harry. He shrugged in response giving her a cheeky smirk.

“You actually. I was saying that I missed you.” Lou said seriously as Harry sat down in the chair in front of the mirror, all signs of his smirk gone.

“What do you mean? You see me everyday?” He said confused.

“But I don’t do I? I see you and your girlfriend. Never just you. It’s always you and her. I never see you. When was the last time you played with Lux. She misses you.” Lou sighed as she ran her fingers through his hair. Harry remained silent for a while watching Lou as she rubbed some balm through her fingers.

“I just miss us hanging out.” Lou said as she began to work her fingers through his hair.

“Are you jealous?” Harry said jokingly trying to lighten the mood.

“Honestly, yes. I feel like we aren’t even friends anymore. I don’t know you Harry. I only know Harry and Kelly.” Lou worked, her eyebrow furrowed as she concentrated on making his hair the perfect about of messy.

“I heard my name!” Kelly’s voice sang from outside the room. Lou’s shoulders visibly dropped, it was the first time she’d seen Harry on his own since the beginning of the tour and now that was over, and they’d hardly got a chance to talk.

“Hello my love. I was wondering where you ran off too.” Kelly said as she swung Harry’s chair around, uncaring of whatever Lou was doing to sit on his lap.

“Hey love.” Harry said quietly, he eyebrows crinkled in deep thought.

“I guess you’re done.” Lou said quietly. “I’ll go get Niall.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Lou head Kelly ask as she left the room.

— 

Anna sat at her desk watching her young students run out the door to their lunch break. She jumped as her phone vibrated beside her. Lou.

“Lou, are you ok?” Anna answered, it had to be the middle of the night wherever she was.

“Anna?” Lou’s voice shook.

“Lou, what’s wrong?” Anna said alarmed.

“Anna, it’s Harry. I just can’t do this anymore.” Lou started to cry into the phone.

“Slow down. What’s happening?” Anna said standing up from her chair and pacing around her small classroom.

“It’s that girl Anna. He’s not Harry anymore. She’s a witch Anna, I swear to you. The things she’s said to me and Harry just stands there, saying nothing. I don’t know what to do. I’m a grown woman. I shouldn’t care. But he’s like my son. I can’t do this. I think I need to quit.” Lou was breathing heavily into the phone.

“Maybe you just need a break. How much longer till the next break?” Anna said running a hand through her hair.

“Another two weeks I think.” Lou sniffled.

“You can do another two weeks. Then you come home with Luxy and you spend some time with me. You spend some time away from them. Ok? You can do another two weeks. Don’t speak to either of them. You are a grown woman. You have got this.” Anna encouraged. Lou never cried. Not unless she was completely drunk or something outrageously awful happened. This was a mix of the two.

“I can do it.” Lou repeated.

“You can. Two more weeks.” Anna said before they said goodbyes and the children entered the classroom returning from their break.

“Miss Brent, you should have come played with us.” Abigail, one of her students, said as she tugged on her shirt.

“Next time Abi, I promise.” Anna answered before calling the class to order.

— 

Two weeks later and Lux was happily running around Anna’s living room while Lou sat on her couch a cup of tea in her hands.

“She’s using him Anna. She’s got the modeling contract. She’s got what she wanted, can’t she just leave?”

Anna shrugged in response.

“One time. One time in over six months I got ten minutes alone with him and it changed nothing.” Lou stared into the contents of her mug thinking. “You should ask him to come over and talk.” She said suddenly sitting up straight and looking up from her mug.

“What?” Anna asked shocked.

“You should text him and ask him to lunch or something.” She said eagerly. “In that time that I got to speak to him alone, he said something about missing you or something.”

Anna scoffed, “No he didn’t.”

“He did! I’m sure of it. Please Anna. Someone needs to talk to him.” Lou pleased.

“I haven’t spoken to him in months Lou. Months.” Anna emphasized.

“I know. But please Anna. You need to see what I’m talking about.” Lou said, gripping her mug tightly.

“Fine. I’ll message him.” Anna surrendered. As if on cue Lux walked up to Anna holding out her phone.

“Want to play games Anna.” Anna laughed at the young child, her blue eyes so innocent.

“Ask mum, she’s got the goods.” Anna kissed Lux’s head before she bounded over to her mother and climbed onto her lap.

“Mumma’s been sad.” Lux said as her little fingers traced lines over the phones screen.

“Has she?” Anna asked Lux as Lou rested her head on top of her daughters.

Lux nodded, “I don’t see Harry anymore but Zayn said he’s spiderman, but he’s not spiderman I asked Liam and Liam said no.”

“Well Liam is right. Zayn is not spiderman.” Anna laughed, but could see the hurt in Lou’s eyes.

“Alright I’m messaging him. Happy?” Anna smiled at Lou and saw her eyes for a second brighten.

“Thank you love.” She said quietly as Anna tapped out a message and pressed send.

“Who knows if he’ll even reply? He hasn’t replied to anything else I’ve sent him...” Anna trailed off as her phone immediately buzzed back. “...And apparently he will. Lunch tomorrow is happening. I’ll talk to him.”

Lou sighed in relief and hugged Lux closer.


	4. New Beginnings

Anna ran around her house trying to find a shirt to wear, it was past winter but there was still a chill in the air. Throwing on a grey shirt and light blue scarf Anna was about to run out the door for her lunch with Harry when her phone rang.

“Hello?” She answered without looking at the called ID as she wrapped the scarf around her neck with one hand and picked up her bag with the other.

“ANNNNNNAAAA.” A thick Irish voice yelled into the phone.

“Well, well, well, Mr. Horan. Thought you’d forgotten about me.” Anna laughed into the phone as she exited her house.

“Forget about you Love, never. Whatcha’ doin’ today?” He asked.

“I’m actually headed out to lunch with Harry.” Anna replied locking her front door.

“You mean you called Harry before you even called your favourite person of all time?” Niall asked horrified.

“Well I text him. Does that count?” Anna asked laughing as she began to make her way down the street.

“Not at all. As long as I’m the first person you hear.” Niall said smugly.

“Niall you talk so loud and so often it would be impossible not to hear you.” Anna laughed again.

“Hey now, no ragging on your favourite person. How do you feel about me crashing your lunch?” He asked, Niall ever the person with no boundaries.

“If I’m honest…” Anna paused, should she tell Niall the reason for meeting Harry?

“I expect nothing less from you Anna.” Niall’s voice uncharacteristically serious.

“Well, if I’m honest, I’m meeting Harry as a recon mission for Lou.” Anna sighed stopping at the lights before crossing the road to the tube.

“Ah right, this about Kelly?” Niall asked his voice lowering.

“It is.” Anna replied.

“Well then I am definitely coming. That ok?” Niall said, his voice still serious.

“Actually, I’d love the moral support.” Anna agreed before telling him the details and saying goodbye.

—

Anna sat nervously in the restaurant waiting for the others to turn up. Lou had messaged her at least four times since she’d sat down asking how she was feeling. Anna spotted Niall from across the room at the same time he spotted her. He knocked into a few tables in his eagerness to get to her. Anna jumped up from her chair.

“Niall!”

“Anna!”

Niall engulfed her into an enormous hug lifting her feet from the ground, making her squeal in response.

“It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed your sarcasm!” Niall said into her hair as he continued to hug her.

“You mean Louis wasn’t enough for you?” Anna asked pulling back from the hug.

“Not nearly enough. Come here.” Niall said as he pulled her in for another hug. Anna really did have a special spot for Niall. It was hard not too.

There was a throat clearing from beside them and they both pulled apart from the hug.

“Am I interrupting something?” Harry asked a smirk in his voice.

“Yes.” Niall said at the same time Anna said “No.” causing them both to start laughing.

“Anna.” Harry said opening his arms for a hug but then thinking better of it and sticking out his hand for her to shake.

“Oh I didn’t realize we were having a business meeting.” Anna laughed as she took Harry’s hand and shook it. Harry flushed in response.

“Anna, you remember Kelly.” Harry stood to the side and there she stood, the girl that had caused Lou so much distress, she looked a lot thinner than the last time Anna had seen her, her hair slightly shorter, but still extremely long, every single hair was in place and her make up was flawless. Every girl in the vicinity might take a shot to their own self esteem by looking at her.

“Of course, Kelly, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Anna said smiling as she resumed the seat she was previously in. Niall sat down next to her and slung his arm casually over the back of her chair, as Harry and Kelly sat opposite.

“And why wouldn’t I be here?” Kelly sneered, she definitely seemed as though she was bitterer than the last time they had met.

“Oh I just didn’t realize you were coming when I invited Harry.” Anna said innocently.

“I am his girlfriend.” Kelly answered harshly.

“I’m aware.” Anna nodded nonchalantly.

—

“So tell me about tour!” Anna said excitedly looking between Harry and Niall.

“Tour schmoore. How’s your school?” Niall asked waving his hand dismissively.

“School?” Harry asked curiously.

“Yeah, that interview from way back. I got it. I teach Year One.” Anna answered smiling warmly at him.

“Oh I didn’t know.” Harry said quietly.

“Surely Lou would have said something…” Anna replied softly as Harry remained quiet.

“Anyway, tell me about it.” Niall said trying to take the focus from Harry.

“The kids are adorable. I have this one girl in my class, Louisa, she is completely in love with Louis, and it’s so sweet. I mean she’s six and she just loves him. I haven’t the guts to tell her I know him, I think I might cause the kid a heart attack.” Anna said smiling remembering the first day of school when she proudly walked in with a One Direction pencil tin. 

Harry and Niall laughed in response. Anna continued to tell stories from her school including the one where Geoffrey had stood up to do a presentation on spiders and half way through his pants had fallen down, and he continued his presentation with his pants around his ankles. It was only as the end of the presentation when he asked if there was any questions and Benson, another young boy in the class, asked if he knew that his pants were down. Geoffrey had looked down, pulled them up and asked for any more questions. Anna nearly had to leave the room she was trying so hard not to laugh.

Kelly sighed heavily as Harry and Niall continued to laugh.

“Yes Kelly?” Anna asked.

“Oh it’s nothing.” She paused briefly. “I mean it’s not being an international pop star is it. You’re just a glorified child minder.” Her eyes narrowed at Anna.

“I’m sorry?” Anna asked shocked.

“What I’m saying is. It’s not really that interesting is it? You aren’t travelling like me, I mean us. You aren’t seeing the places we are seeing are you? It’s quite…simple really? Isn’t it?” Kelly looked at Harry for reassurance. He’d stopped laughing and shut his mouth in a tight-lipped grimace.

“Oh I..." Anna hesitated before continuing, "Well I’m sorry I don’t get your stamp of approval. I love what I do.” Anna was slightly frustrated and trying to keep her cool. She could feel Niall’s hand putting pressure on her shoulder.

“Meanwhile I am becoming a very well recognized model. That’s at least something to strive too.” Kelly replied leaning forward slightly.

“Certainly. Certainly it is. Maybe if you didn’t use Harry to get there I would actually applaud you on it.” Anna replied sharply.

“I would never use Harry.” Kelly said in mock horror, she was completely transparent.

“No? How did you meet those agents again? Was it… was it through Harry? Who took you to those meetings? I’m drawing a blank. Oh no wait it was Harry again.” Anna answered angrily.

“That was coincidence.” Kelly said haughtily. “If anything you are the only using these boys.”

“How?” Anna laughed, “To become a teacher? Oh yeah knowing Niall really helped me graduate.” Anna scoffed in response.

“You only like them because they are famous.” Kelly said viciously.

“Yeah that’s exactly what it was. Where can I have friends that I can only see once every six months or are on different time zones constantly? Where can I find that? Oh right. International musicians. I’m so glad they answered my wanted adds. Where else would I have gotten famous friends?” Anna said sarcastically rolling her eyes.

“It’s not like you spend any time with them!” Kelly rebutted, was she serious?

“They were on tour you twat!” Anna said harshly.

“Didn’t stop me!” Kelly replied.

“That’s because you are one step away from surgically attaching yourself to Harry. My goodness girl, give the lad a break.” Anna sighed throwing her hands in the air. This was not going at all the way she planned, although she could see why Lou couldn’t bear it any more if Kelly was constantly attacking her.

“What would you know about us?” Kelly said defiantly.

“Enough that you need to let the boy breathe. May I remind you I invited Harry to lunch.” Anna said. Niall's grip on Anna’s shoulder had loosened somewhat.

“Harry would never go anywhere without me.” Kelly said stubbornly.

“Is that because his leash isn’t long enough?” Anna huffed.

“You are just an unsatisfied simple teacher that is jealous of our love. You are jealous you never got his chance with him. And you want him and I won.” Kelly said smugly, grabbing Harry’s hand and slamming it on the table.

“May I ask what grade of school you completed? Or did you just decide to that it was all too “simple” for you and you thought you’d just major in being a bitch instead.” Kelly’s mouth dropped open.

“Are you going to let her talk to me like that?” Kelly turned to Harry. He was speechless; clearly no one had called Kelly out on her childish behavior before.

“No he’s not because I'm done here. Great chatting with you Harry, we should catch up again soon, maybe when you stop being such a moron and open your eyes.” Anna said standing up from the table. Niall followed suit after looking between Harry and Anna.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked his voice weak.

“When was the last time you saw Lux? When was the last time you spoke to Lou? You know, your friend Lou? When was the last time you could actually breath without this... this poisonous person around you?” Anna waved her hand toward Kelly.

“I love her.” Harry said nervously.

“Grow a pair Harry and think with your head and not your dick for once.” Anna said before she grabbed Niall’s hand and walked out of the restaurant leaving Kelly fuming and Harry confused.

—

“I think that might be the first time someone has ever told Kelly off.” Niall laughed loudly as he and Anna exited the restaurant.

“I’m so angry.” Anna laughed. “I don’t know why I’m laughing. I’m fuming.” Niall put his arm around her and pulled her into his side.

“I’m proud of you. You said everything we haven’t had the guts to say.”

—

Kelly sat absolutely seething at the table as Harry was torn between running after Anna and trying to comfort Kelly.

“How dare she speak to me like that?” Kelly muttered.

“You weren’t exactly nice to her love.” Harry said turning his attention on his girlfriend. She really was stunning, but Harry couldn’t work out what Anna meant when she said to think with his head. He was, wasn’t he? Kelly was perfect, she was stunning, a little abrasive at times but they just didn’t know her like Harry did.

“You heard what she said to me though.” Kelly pouted.

Harry shook his head, still thinking about what Anna had said. Harry couldn’t think of the last time he’d seen Lux, on tour perhaps… He really hadn’t spent that much time with her lately, or Lou come to think of it.

“Then they just left us with the bill.” Kelly said in a huff, catching Harry’s attention again.

“We didn’t order anything Kelly.” Harry said softly.

“But if we did, they would have just left us to pay.” She said stubbornly. “See what I mean about her using you. Expecting us to pick up her bill.”

“Kelly, I haven’t seen her in months, that’s hardly using me for anything.” Harry disagreed.

“That’s because I’ve been protecting you, from all the awful people in your life Harry.” Kelly stood up and shrugged on the very expensive coat that Harry had bought her.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked cautiously helping her with the fabric.

“You are so naive Harry.” Kelly sighed picking up her bag. “Lou just wants to use you, Anna does too. They just want to be seen with you. They want your fame. You’re better than all the other boys in the band. They know that. That’s why they are so threatened by me. They know that without you they wouldn’t exist.” Harry paused as they started to walk towards the door. The things that Kelly was saying were confusing him, but that wasn’t what was clouding his mind. He couldn’t get Anna’s voice out of his head. 

“Grow a pair Harry and think with your head and not your dick for once.”

-

“What are you going to tell Lou?” Niall asked, his arm still around Anna.

“I don’t know.” Anna sighed heavily. “Everything I guess.”

“Do you think she’ll quit?” Niall asked quietly.

Anna shrugged her shoulders. “Honestly Niall, I don’t know. She cares about all of you. But Harry’s not the same person. Not with Kelly around, and I don’t know how much more Lou can take. Also having Lux in that poisonous environment.” Anna shook her head. “It’s not healthy for either of them.”

Niall nodded in agreement and they continued to walk in silence.

— 

“Baby. You’ve been quiet since lunch time.” Kelly said entering the living room and seeing Harry scribbling quickly in one of his books.

“Babe?” She asked again louder, slightly annoyed that he’d not heard her.

“Hmm?” Harry mumbled his pen pausing and looking up.

“I said you’ve been quiet since we got home. I wish you would just listen to me Harry. I’m sick of repeating myself around you.” Kelly said frustrated.

“Sorry, I was writing.” Harry apologized.

“I feel like you are ignoring me.” Kelly complained.

“Well them come here.” Harry said putting down his book and opening his arms. Kelly immediately bounded over to him and straddled his lap.

“You know I love you.” Harry said looking deep into her eyes.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Kelly asked before she leaned down to kiss him.

—

“Do you want to come inside?” Anna asked as she opened her front door, Niall had walked her the whole way home, making her laugh and taking her out of her sour mood.

“Sure.” Niall shrugged following her into the house.

“Tea, coffee, juice, water…. Milk… wine? I might have beer.” Anna offered as she shook off her coat and hung it up.

“I’m alright, thanks. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Niall said seriously, his hands dug deep into his pockets.

“Of course.” Anna said walking from the hallway to the living room and sitting on one side of the couch, tapping the seat next to her for Niall to sit.

“So…” Niall said nervously as he sat down. His knees started to bounce.

“So?” Anna prompted after a moment of silence.

“So we travel a lot.” Niall continued.

“You do.” Anna agreed. It was the worst part of knowing them, not seeing them.

“And it’s hard for us to have… to have um relationships.” Niall said looking down at his hands.

“I imagine.” Anna said softly.

“I just…. We’ve known each other for a while now. And… and I feel like we’ve grown… I don’t know. Closer.” Niall continued. Anna remained silent; convinced she knew where this was going.

“And the thing is.” Niall cleared his throat. “The thing is Anna, is that while we are away, I can’t stop thinking… I can’t stop thinking…” Niall voice was shaking. Anna had never seen him so nervous.

“I can’t stop thinking about this.” Niall said quickly before he moved forward and captured Anna’s lips with his own. Anna was expecting it but she was still surprised. Niall’s lips were soft and warm and for some reason, comforting. She kissed him back enjoying the way her stomach flipped with nerves.

Niall pulled back, his pale cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Anna stayed silent, not knowing how to react.

“Please say anything.” Niall said, his confidence wavering again. Anna looked up to his shining blue eyes before she leaned forward and kissed him again.

—

Harry lay on his back, his body glistening with sweat as Kelly laid her head on his chest.

“You are incredible love.” Harry’s voice croaked. Kelly hummed in response. Harry was still confused about lunch. He really did want to speak with Anna, just one on one, clear the air. He felt Kelly slowly dozing off and he shifted her head onto a pillow before he got out of the bed and threw on a pair of pants. Picking up his phone he made his way to the living room, dialing Anna’s number.

—

“What does this mean now?” Niall asked nervously as they sat in silence on the couch, Anna curled up under his arm.

“I don’t know Niall. You’re going to be away on tour for another couple of months.” Anna sighed heavily.

“I really like you Anna.” He said his chin resting on the top of her head.

“I like you too Niall.” Anna said quietly. “How about we just see what happens. No plans. We just hang out while we can… and… when you go on tour…. You go on tour. I stay here. We keep living. And when tour finishes we see where we are?”

Niall sighed heavily. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we left. It’s going to be the same for the next leg.”

“Well at least you know the result of kissing me now.” Anna said hopefully.

“I do.” Niall grinned. “Wouldn’t mind doing it again actually.” Niall titled her head up by her chin and leaned down to kiss her again.

They separated quickly when Anna’s phone rang.

“Hang on a minute.” Anna said jumping up from the couch and running to the hallway to fetch her phone from her bag.

“Harry?” Anna answered confused.

“Anna.” Harry breathed in relief. “I didn’t think you’d pick up.”

“It was more shock than anything.” Anna answered. “Why are you calling me?” Anna asked as he walked back into the living room. Niall had an eyebrow raised. ‘Harry’ Anna mouthed to him and she sat down next to him.

“I just wanted to talk.” Harry said seriously.

“That depends. Am I on speaker or is Kelly tapping your phone.” Anna sighed and Niall put his arm around her shoulders.

“No, she wouldn’t do that.” Harry said aggressively.

“Sure she wouldn’t." Anna rolled her eyes, "What did you want to talk about Harry?” Anna asked annoyed.

“Lunch.” Harry said simply.

“What about it?” Anna asked still frustrated.

“You said some things…” Harry trailed off.

“And I recall you saying nothing.” Anna replied.

“I just…” Harry sighed heavily into the phone. “I’m just… confused.”

“No doubt.” Anna said shortly. There was silence from the other end. “Alright Harry let me lay it out for you. You’ve been ignoring Lou, you only see her when Kelly is around. And then you don’t hear the things that Kelly says to Lou when you aren’t around. You haven’t seen Lux in a long time, a very long time and she misses you. We used to either text or call each other at least once a week. You just stopped. You stopped answering anything I sent you. I haven’t actually spoken to you in months. Then at lunch you let her insult me, repeatedly. She’s suffocating you. We were friends Harry.” There was a long pause on the phone; Anna rubbed her forehead in frustration.

“We are friends.” Harry said quietly.

“Are we Harry? Are we? You’re meant to talk to your friends. I got a job at a school months ago. Months. I sent you a message about it, and yet you had no idea.”

“I never got a message from you.” Harry said suddenly.

“Yes you did Harry.” Anna sighed. Niall was stroking Anna’s arm in comfort.

“No I didn’t.” Harry said stubbornly.

“Fine, I’ll screenshot it and send it to you.” Anna grumbled. “I wouldn’t put it past Kelly to delete it.”

“Why don’t you like her?” Harry asked angrily.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Anna said shocked. “You were there at lunch, you heard her talking to me?”

“You kind of provoked her.” Harry said nervously.

“Oh yes, talking about my school, LIKE YOU ASKED, is completely provoking her. How silly I should have asked about her and focused my complete attention on her constantly. That’s what she’s used too. How silly of me. Send her my sincerest apologies.” Anna said sarcastically.

Harry was silent on the other end of the phone.

“Look Harry, I don’t want to fight with you. I miss you. Lou misses you. You haven’t been you. You’ve been you and Kelly and we just miss Harry. All I’m saying is that you should really think about who you surround yourself with.” Anna said resting her head on Niall’s shoulder.

“Kelly said the same thing.” Harry mumbled.

“Think about who you want to be and what makes you happy Harry. Right now, I don’t see you happy.” Anna said softly.

“I miss you Anna.” Harry said suddenly.

“I miss you too Harry. I miss the real Harry. Just think about it please.” Anna pleaded.

“Yeah I will.” Harry said sighing.

“Look I have to go, Niall’s here and I’ve ignored him long enough.” Anna smiled at Niall.

“Hi Harry.” Niall yelled making Anna laugh.

“You’re with Niall? Why are you with Niall?” He asked quickly.

“Why wouldn’t I be with Niall?” Anna asked confused.

“I mean, are you with Niall?” Harry asked firmly.

“I hardly think that’s any of your business Harry.” Anna said confused.

“That’s a yes… Why?” Harry asked, his voice sounded hurt.

“Because Niall has remained a good friend while on tour. And I don’t have to explain myself to you.” Anna said still confused.

“Look can we catch up, just the two of us sometime?” Harry asked quickly.

“Um, sure. I have school again tomorrow. But yeah we can. What’s wrong Harry?” Anna asked looking at Niall confused.

“Nothing. We should just talk.” Harry said softly.

“Ok. Text me. I have to go, yeah.” Anna said still confused.

“Alright. Thanks Anna, for answering I mean.” Harry said sadly.

“Harry, I want to be friends, it just means effort from both sides.” Anna said. “Bye Harry.”

“Bye Anna.”

Anna hung up the phone.

“What was that about?” Niall asked.

“I honestly have no idea.” Anna said confused. “Think lunch might have gotten to him.” Anna screenshot the messages she had sent Harry recently and sent it to him before putting her phone down. “Weird conversation.” She shook her head as her phone buzzed.

-Never got these. Sorry Anna.- It was from Harry.

“I think Kelly’s been deleting my messages to Harry.” Anna said shocked.

-We’ll catch up this week.- Another message from Harry.

Anna clicked off her phone. “Anyway enough about Harry, where were we?” Anna asked smiling at Niall as he hugged her.

—

Harry stared at the picture Anna had sent him. It showed at least five messages that she had sent him that he’d never seen before. One telling him that she’d got the job, one asking if he was ok, one asking him to call her, one with just his name and a question mark and the last one questioning if he was ok and a bit more that was cut off from the picture. Harry stared at his phone for a long time. Kelly wouldn’t have deleted the messages would she? Maybe if one of the messages hadn’t come through he could blame it on a glitch, but this was five messages. Five messages he’d never seen before. Harry thought about the conversation he’d just had with Anna. He hadn’t seen Lux in a long time, the more he thought about it the longer it seemed since he’d seen her. What was Kelly saying to Lou when Harry wasn’t there? Lou had seemed more quiet than usual but Harry didn’t really pay that much attention to it. Both Anna and Kelly had said that he should choose he put in his life. Who was the right choice? Would he have to choose between Anna and Kelly? Lou or Kelly? The band or Kelly? Everyone else in his life or Kelly?

—

“I’m seeing Harry tonight.” Anna said to Lou on the phone as she cleaned up her desk.

“Just Harry?” Lou asked doubtfully.

“I don’t know.” Anna answered truthfully, “I hope so. He said that he didn’t get any of my messages so I sent him a picture of them. I’m pretty surprised he wanted to have dinner at all after how lunch went.”

“Hmm.” Lou hummed in response. “I’m not really surprised about you and Niall though.”

“What?”

“I mean he’s had a crush on you for a while now. Didn’t realize you felt the same. I thought you might go for someone else.” Lou continued.

“I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.” Anna said, she’d given Lou a recap of all the lunch on Monday night and it was now Thursday.

“Trust me, Niall has been.” Lou laughed, she sounded happier than she’d sounded in a while.

“Have you decided what you are going to do about the next leg of the tour?” Anna asked as she picked up her bag.

“Not yet. Lux is really keen to go and I think Lottie wants to go on this one as well and I want to be there to keep watch on her.” Lou replied.

“You can’t take care of everyone in the world Lou.” Anna laughed.

“Shush you. I can and will.” Lou snickered in response.

Anna continued to talk to Lou the whole way to restaurant where she was meeting Harry; she missed the way that she could casually talk to Lou like this. It was so much harder with her on tour. Anna’s stomach pained as she realized it would be like this with Niall. She didn’t want to develop feelings for Niall, but she knew that they were already there, however small that part might be.

“OK I’m here now and I can see him sitting in there. Wow he’s by himself, I think.” Anna said surprised. “Anything you want me to pass on to him?”

“A good slap.” Lou laughed.

“I’ll be sure to slip one in.” Anna laughed in response. “Talk later.”

“Let me know how it goes.” Lou said before saying goodbye and hanging up. Anna took a deep breath and entered the restaurant, Harry’s head snapping up at the sound of the door opening, a huge smile spreading across his face as she made her way to the table.


	5. Fixing What's Broken

“You came!” Harry said excitedly standing up when she reached the table.

“I came.” Anna answered, surprised when he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.

“Wow, thought we were still on business terms.” Anna mumbled as she took her seat.

“Business terms?” Harry asked as a waiter dropped menus at their table.

“You shook my hand last time we saw each other.” Anna said looking over the menu, she still felt slightly cold towards Harry, even though she really didn’t want to.

“Right. I did, didn’t I? That was weird. Sorry. I just knew how Kelly would feel if I hugged you.” He answered.

“And yet you hugged me just now.” Anna said looking up, his eyes looked tired.

“Well… yeah. I miss you.” Harry said sadly.

“You don’t have to, you know. You know that we can just talk like normal friends. Like we used to.” Anna replied seeing a definite sadness in Harry’s eyes.

“Can we though?” He asked, he sounded defeated.

“That’s not up to me.” Anna said her eyes moving back to the menu in her hands.

“Who is it up to?” Harry asked, his eyes searching Anna’s face.

“I think you know the answer to that Harry.” Anna sighed closing her menu and looking up at him.

—

There was a long and awkward silence after a waiter took their orders.

“I’m just confused.” Harry said running a hand through his hair and moving it out of his eyes.

“Ok Harry. Talk to me. What’s on your mind?” Anna asked patiently, she’d given enough verbal smack downs; it was time for him to speak his mind.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw Lux, I didn’t get those messages on my phone, Kelly makes me happy, people don’t understand, I feel like I am losing all my friends. “ Harry took a deep shuddering breath. “I don’t know what’s happening.

“It’s not that hard for you to see Lux. You just have to talk to Lou.” Anna answered plainly.

Harry shook his head, “Kelly says that Lou is just using me and she’s using Lux to get close to me.”

Anna scoffed, “Are you serious Harry? How long have you known Lou?”

Harry thought back, “Four… years I think.”

Anna nodded, “And how long have you known Kelly?”

“About a year.” Harry answered immediately.

“Next question.” Anna said nodding, “How many times in those four years have you felt used by Lou?”

Harry stayed silent as he thought. “We used to go out a lot.” He mused.

“That’s not using you though is it? You were both out.” Anna contradicted.

“Yeah I guess so.” Harry sighed.

“And how many times in the past year have you felt used by Kelly?” Anna asked.

“Never!” Harry said indignantly.

“No don’t answer straight away. I want you to think about it. Think about when you first met Kelly, what she was doing with her life, to what she’s doing now, who her friends were before you met, who they are now. I just want you to think about it.”

Harry stayed silent, chewing his bottom lip as he thought. They sat in silence until the waiter brought over their food. Harry pushed the food around his plate as he thought.

“Ok next thing.” Anna sighed. Harry looked up from his plate. “You didn’t get my messages.” Harry shook his head. “Here’s my phone.” Anna said shuffling around in her bag and pulling it out and handing it to Harry. “You can see all the times I’ve tried to contact you while you’ve been away.” Harry started scrolling through the text messages starting from when they first left on tour.   
“I never wanted to stop being your friend Harry.” Anna said simply before starting to eat the food in front of her.

Harry’s jaw dropped as he saw the amount of messages that Anna had sent him that he hadn’t seen. His stomach sunk as he saw one of her final messages, which was basically a friend break up message. He was even more surprised to see a response that he had never sent.

-Can’t you get the hint?-

“I never sent this.” Harry said stunned and showing Anna the phone. She shrugged in response.

“Anna you need to believe me, I never sent you this message.” Harry said urgently.

“I figured.” Anna mumbled.

“What do you mean you figured?” Harry asked putting the phone down.

“You going to eat anything?” Anna indicated his untouched food.

“Yeah. What do you mean you figured?” Harry nodded and started to eat.

“You hadn’t spoken to me in months. Then you send that? Doesn’t sound like you.” Anna shook her head.

“I’m glad you know that.” Harry said chewing his food slowly.

“That’s not to say that I wasn’t upset when I got it Harry.” Anna said putting down her fork.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry said seriously.

“I don’t want your apologies Harry. I want you to think. I sent you that many messages without you noticing that they were deleted… You didn’t try and contact me in all those months. I just want you to think Harry.” Anna sighed and took a long drink watching Harry over the top of the glass.

“I…. I thought you were angry with me. I didn’t know why. And…” Harry stuttered.

“And what Harry?” Anna said putting down the glass.

“Kelly said you were in love with me.” He said quickly.

Anna scoffed in response. “And you believed her?”

“Well it’s not so far fetched is it?” Harry flushed.

“Yes Harry. Yes it is. You are my friend. Have I ever given you the impression otherwise?” Anna pressed him before chuckling slightly, “How stuck up are you?”

“You’re with Niall.” Harry said quietly. “How long’s that been going on?”

“Ok, well that’s Niall. Believe it or not I have different relationships with everyone I know. It’s none of your business but it started after lunch the other day. It’s not really anything at the moment.” Anna sighed heavily. “Kelly will probably say I’m using him. But I promise you Harry that has never crossed my mind.”

“I believe you Anna.” Harry said quietly leaning across the table and squeezing her hand.

“Thank you.” Anna said smiling at him.

“Still, Niall though.” Harry smirked at her making her roll her eyes at him.

—

They spent the rest of dinner talking, laughing and catching up. Harry hadn’t felt so light hearted in months.

Harry wiped a tear leaking from his eyes. “I’ve missed this Anna.”

“Please don’t disappear on me with this next leg of the tour.” She answered wiping her mouth with her napkin.

“I won’t.” Harry replied earnestly.

“I’m not saying break up with Kelly. Honestly Harry I’m not. Just don’t forget who you are please.” Anna jumped as her phone buzzed next to Harry.

“It’s Niall.” She smiled picking up the phone and tapping out a message quickly on it before putting it back down. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” Anna asked her smile dropping slightly.

“I just can’t believe you and Niall.” Harry tried to smirk but failed.

“Why not?” Anna asked curiously.

“I just…. Didn’t know that you were interested in dating anyone.” Harry shrugged.

“Why would you have got in first?” Anna laughed sarcastically.

“Maybe.” Harry smiled at her.

“You’re an idiot.” Anna laughed again shaking her head.

—

Harry paid for the bill much to Anna’s annoyance and argument.

“I’m feeling a lot more normal.” Harry said as he put on his coat.

“What did Kelly say about you coming to dinner?” Anna asked as she stood up from the table.

“Ahh…” Harry paused.

“You didn’t tell her?” Anna guessed and Harry shook his head guiltily. “That’s a sign if ever I’ve seen one.” Harry shrugged.

“Call Lou would you?” Anna said as they started to walk out of the restaurant.

“Yeah I will. Thanks for meeting me Anna. You have no idea how much I appreciate this.” Harry said opening the door for her and walking out.

“Anytime Harry. We are friends aren’t we?” Anna smiled as Harry opened his arms and she walked into them, giving him a final hug before saying goodbye.

—

“How did it go?” Niall asked through the phone as Anna unlocked her front door and took off her coat.

“Good I think. Felt like old times. How was your night?” Anna hung up her coat before falling down onto her couch exhausted.

“Good, quiet. Wanna do dinner tomorrow night?” Niall asked through a yawn.

“Absolutely, but let’s not go anywhere.” Anna agreed yawning in return.

“Pizza and movies?” Niall asked.

“You know me well Mr. Horan. I have some school work to look over tomorrow, but I’m all yours.” Anna rubbed her tired eyes. “But right now, I need bed. Talk later yeah?”

“Talk tomorrow. Night Anna.” Niall said stifling another yawn.

“Night Niall.” Anna said before hanging up the phone and pushing herself off the couch.

—

“Where have you been?” Kelly whined as Harry entered his house.

“Just out for dinner.” Harry mumbled.

“Who with?” Kelly asked looking him up and down.

“No one in particular.” Harry wasn’t sure he wanted to tell Kelly he’d been with Anna. She wouldn’t react well, especially after lunch.

“I missed you.” Kelly pouted hugging Harry from behind.

“Did you? I wasn’t gone long.” Harry mumbled again. He really wasn’t in the mood to be talking to Kelly, he and Anna had laughed a lot and he felt lighter than he had in a while. 

She’d also given him a lot to think about, about what he wanted with Kelly and who Kelly truly was. He was sure that he’d been paying attention to who she was, but Anna seemed to see something that he wasn’t. Harry trusted Anna; she’d always been honest with him. It took her a long time to warm up to him, but they became friends quickly after that, mainly because of Lux. Lux. Harry was going to call Lou in the morning and catch up just one on one, or maybe one on two. He needed to see Lux and apologize for being so absent.

-

Anna stood in her school’s hallway speaking to one of her students’ parents.

“I really think that Jack is making progress.” She comforted Sylvia, his mother. “He is much more engaged with the other students now, and he’s really reading a lot more. You are doing great things for your little man.” Anna smiled.

“Thank you Anna. We couldn’t have asked for a better teacher for him.” Sylvia said nodding.

“Please, I’m doing hardly anything. Keep reading at home with him. It’s working wonders.” Anna said looking down at Jack who was clutching his mothers’ leg in curiosity.

“Thanks again Anna.” Sylvia nodded as she waved goodbye.

“Bye Miss Brent.” Jack said shyly as his mother took his hand.

“Goodbye Jack.” Anna said smiling and waving as they walked away. Sighing she turned around and jumped as she walked into someone.

“Miss Brent, I could get used to that nickname.”

“NIALL.” Anna gasped. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“Came to surprise you. It worked I guess.” Niall said cheekily. “We have movie and pizza plans.”

“We do.” Anna smiled. “Let me pack up and we can go.”

—

“You could have been seen.” Anna said as she opened the front door, Niall following carrying two boxes of pizza.

“I’m seen all the time. MY GOD ANNA, have you gone blind? Can you see me right now?” Niall shouted sarcastically.

“Shut up. You know what I mean.” Anna said laughing and closing the door behind them.

“Anna, I go out all the time. Thought I would take my chances.” Niall shrugged as he placed the boxes on the coffee table.

“In a public school.” Anna sighed. “I just don’t want you to get mauled.”

“There are bears at your school? Should I be worried?” Niall asked raising an eyebrow as he sat back on the couch.

“Ok, I get it, I’ll shut it.” Anna groaned as she leaned back into him. “It comes from a place of concern, you know.”

“I know.” Niall replied happily kissing her forehead before turning on the television.

—

Harry paced in the hallway as Kelly showered. Should he call Lou now? He checked his watch. It was 8:30. She should still be awake. Frantically his scrolled through his phone and found Lou’s number, hesitating before sighing and pressing the ‘call’ button.

“Hello?” Lou’s voice answered croakily.

“Hey.” Harry said simply, what was he meant to say, how was he meant to go about this?

“Harry?” Lou asked confused.

“Who else would be it be?” Harry asked trying to make a joke while his stomach flopped around.

“I don’t know. I thought it was a mistake.” Lou answered honestly. The truth of her words stung Harry.

“It’s not a mistake. I miss you. And Lux. I would like to catch up.” Harry said quickly.

“I’m not sure Harry.” Lou said nervously. Harry didn’t recognize this woman; usually Lou was so confident, calling him a ‘dickhead’ joking around. How much had he hurt her?

“You don’t have to bring Lux if you don’t want too. I understand.” Harry said hurriedly.

There was a long pause on the phone. “Ok, when?”

“Tomorrow if you are free, lunch maybe, if that works for you I mean, if you have time.” Harry said nervously.

“I always have time for you Harry.” Lou sighed.

Harry smiled. “At the old place yeah?”

“Yeah, 12. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Lou answered.

“I miss you.” Harry said simply.

“You too…knobhead.” Lou replied before hanging up the phone, causing Harry’s smile to widen, however it was short lived.

—

“Who exactly do you miss?” Kelly’s voice demanded from behind Harry.

“An old friend.” Harry said simply turning around. She was dressed in only a towel, water dripping from her long hair down her back onto the carpet.

“Were you planning on telling me about this “old friend”?” Kelly asked her voice annoyed and her face fuming.

“Not much to tell.” Harry shrugged trying not to make a big deal out of the phone call.

“Why are you hiding things from me Harry?” Kelly commanded, her tone venomous.

“I’m not hiding anything from you.” Harry denied, starting to feel a little annoyed at her being overbearing.

“Then who were you talking too?” Kelly asked again.

“I told you.” Harry grumbled.

“Why don’t you love me Harry?” Kelly suddenly pouted.

“What?” Harry asked confused.

“You don’t trust me and you don’t love me.” Kelly continued to pout.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Harry said softly, his anger mounting.

“Do you just want me to leave Harry?” Kelly cried out.

“Leave?” Harry asked confused. “Why would you leave?”

“Because you clearly don’t love me.” Kelly cried out again, her cheeks flushing red.

“I think you are overreacting Kelly.” Harry shook his head, putting his phone in his pocket and walking towards the kitchen.

“Oh so now you think I’m a drama queen?” Kelly followed him dripping water through the house.

“I never said that Kel and you know it.” Harry turned around angry. 

Harry was beginning to notice a pattern in their fights that seemed to be happening more and more recently. She would have a problem about nothing, he would explain himself and she would somehow turn to argument around so that he was apologizing for something he never did or said. It was always him apologizing. But when he had a problem he was meant to relax, which for the most part he did.

“So my boyfriend who apparently “loves me” is now cheating on me and calling me a drama queen. Thanks a lot Harry. I’ll pack my things.” Kelly wailed dramatically.

“Who said anything about cheating on you?” Harry asked. Harry had never and would never cheat on anyone he was with.

“You went to lunch yesterday and then made plans with an old friend and you aren’t telling me about any of it. What am I meant to think Harry?” Kelly changed again, from sad to aggressive.

“I don’t know. That you trust me, that I tell you the truth and the same that I do to you. I trust you.” Harry said angrily.

“Oh so now I am the cheater?” Kelly scoffed.

“I never said that.” Harry said quietly.

“You may as well have.” Kelly yelled at him.

“I’m not doing this. I’m going out.” Harry sighed running a hand through his hair.

“Not doing what Harry?” Kelly demanded as she followed him through the house.

“This, whatever this is.” Harry answered opening the front door.

“So you’re just leaving me Harry?” Kelly yelled at him.

“For right now, yes. I need to think.” Harry said quietly, slamming the front door behind him. He had no idea where he was going to go.

—

“No come on.” Anna laughed, “That’s completely unrealistic.”

“It’s not!” Niall protested laughing.

“You’re telling me that you could just leap off a motorbike like that, land and scissor kick a guy?” Anna scoffed.

“No, I couldn’t. But I’m not batman.” Niall laughed as the movie played in the background.

“So ridiculous.” Anna shook her head.

“Shush. Enjoy the movie.” Niall scolded, loving the feeling of her curled up under his arm.

“Oh no come on.” Anna yelled at the television again.

“Shush.” Niall laughed.

“You saw that right?” Anna asked tilting her head up to his.

“Yes. It’s Batman, don’t question it.” Niall said looking down at her.

“I am… I am questioning all of it.” Anna said under her breath as she smiled back at the television.

“Come here.” Niall said moving his arm and shifting Anna so that she was sitting up and facing him.

“Your arm going dead?” Anna asked as she sat up.

“Nah, just wanted a kiss.” Niall said grinning at her.

“With Batman watching?” Anna gasped in mock horror.

“He’s busy doing other things.” Niall waved his hand at the movie.

“Busy being unrealistic.” Anna laughed.

“Shut up you, come here and kiss me.” Niall reprimanded her.

“Yes sir. Bossy one aren’t you?” Anna said grinning at him before she leaned in the few inches separating them to connect their lips.

— 

Harry wandered the streets wishing he had worn a thicker coat. Maybe he should have just told Kelly that he was talking to Lou. But then, why did she have to know every single movement he made? He was sick of their fighting. He jumped when a taxi pulled up beside him.

“Need a lift mate?” The cabbie called from an open window.

Harry nodded and got into the car rubbing his cold hands together.

“Where to?” The cabbie asked looking through the rearview mirror.

Harry said an address, not really thinking and the cab pulled back out onto the street.

— 

Fifteen minutes later he was standing outside Anna’s apartment, not sure why he was standing there. He could see the light was still on in the living room, so she was still awake. Should he knock on the door? Should he call her? Lunch had gone well, she would be happy to see him, wouldn’t she? Sighing in decision he walked up her stairs and knocked on the front door.

—

Niall lay Anna back on the couch covering her smaller frame with his much larger body, being careful to not laden her with his full weight. Anna moved easily to lie beneath him not separating their joined mouths. Niall shifted his mouth so that he was kissing down her neck causing her to half giggle half moan.

“Sorry. Ticklish.” Anna said using her hands to move his mouth back to hers. Niall wiggled his arm underneath her back to bring her closer against him. Niall never wanted to separate from her and going back on tour was going to be hard now that he knew what it was like to be with Anna. To know the taste on her lips, the things that made her laugh, the things that made her blush. How was he going to go back on tour when he was sure that he was falling in love with her? Suddenly there was a sharp knock on the front door.

“Expecting someone?” Niall asked pulling away from the kiss.

“I don’t think so.” Anna said confused. “Might have the wrong house.”

“It’s not your next boyfriend is it?” Niall asked smiling at her.

“What time is it?” Anna asked looking at her watch. “Nah he shouldn’t be here till ten, well after you’ve gone.” Niall gasped and started to tickle her causing her to giggle and writhe around underneath her.

—

Harry could hear some noise coming from inside. Someone sounded like they were in pain. He knocked again urgently. It was starting to get extremely cold outside.

—

“Persistent aren’t they.” Niall said sitting up and releasing Anna from underneath him. Anna sighed as she stood from the couch, her cheeks flushed from laughed.

“Harry!” She said shocked to see him standing on he doorstep. “What are you doing?”

“Can I come in?” Harry asked nervously. She looked like she’d just been on a run, her cheeks a faint pink and her eyes bright.

“Yeah, of course, sorry. Come in.” Anna said stepping aside. Harry entered the house, shook off his coat and stepped out his shoes.

“Sorry Anna, are you busy or…” Harry was interrupted by Niall’s voice coming from the living room.

“Who was it?”

“It’s Harry.” Anna called back sounding confused. She was still staring at him.

“Harry are you ok?” She asked quietly taking a step towards him. Harry caught a whiff of her perfume as she moved.

“Yeah. Um. No. I don’t know.” He mumbled.

“Harry?” Niall came around the corner looking as confused as Anna.

“Hey mate.” Harry greeted nodding.

“Should we go into the living room, or should we all stand in my charmingly small hallway?” Anna asked. Niall pushed her lightly and laughed as he walked back in the direction he’d come.


	6. Morning Sunrise Over an Opal Desert

“Can I get you anything? Tea?” Anna asked as Harry sat on the couch. The Batman movie was still playing in the background.

“Do you remember that drink that you used to make…” Harry asked hopefully.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll get it. Niall?” Anna asked grinning at Niall.

“I’m good sweetheart.” He replied smiling at her.

—

Anna entered the room again holding a mug of warm milk with honey, nutmeg and cinnamon and handing it to Harry.

“Thanks Anna.” Harry took the warm liquid gratefully.

“So, Harry, not that I mind at all you coming to visit me at 9pm, can I ask what’s going on?” Anna took a seat next to Niall, and Niall almost immediately put his arm around her.

“Kelly and I had a fight.” Harry said after drinking some of his drink.

“Oh I’m so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” Anna asked leaning forward and squeezing his knee gently.

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know honestly. I think I just need to think about something else for a while.” Harry sipped more of the liquid feeling it melt his insides.

“Completely fine. We are great at distractions, aren’t we Niall?” Anna asked turning back to Niall and smiling at him

“We were watching Batman?” Niall suggested. Harry didn’t miss the way his eyes both lit up and melted when he looked at Anna. How had he not seen it before?

“Excellent.” Harry replied sitting back on the couch.

— 

They continued to watch the end of the movie with Anna scoffing the entire way through making both Harry and Niall laugh.

“Ridiculous.” Anna mumbled as the credits started to roll.

“Next one?” Niall asked squeezing her shoulder.

“Obviously.” Anna laughed.

—

It was nearing 2am and Anna was dozing off on Nialls’ shoulder. At some point she’d spread out and her feet were resting on Harry’s legs.

“You ok mate?” Niall asked quietly as the credits on another movie began.

Harry shrugged. ”I don’t know. I thought I knew Kelly, but I’m feel less confident about that.”

Niall nodded in response.

“Be honest Niall. Do you like her?” Harry asked suddenly.

“Who Kelly?” Niall clarified. Harry nodded in response.

“Honestly mate, no I don’t. Not since the day you brought her to recording. But if you are happy, I’m happy. I’m not going to tell you who to date.” Niall answered honestly.

“You’re happy with Anna.” Harry said. It wasn’t a question.

“I am.” Niall grinned looking at the sleeping girl spread over the two of them. “I don’t know how I am going to do the next leg of the tour without her. I want her to come. But school and everything.” Niall sighed. “Wish I hadda made a move sooner.”

“You want her to come on tour?” Harry asked curiously.

“Absolutely.” Niall replied.

“I used to want that with Kelly. Now I’m not so sure.” Harry said sadly.

“You’ll figure it out mate.” Niall said as Anna shifted in her sleep.

“Niall.” She said groggily

“Yes sweetheart?” Niall said watching her half open eyes.

“Niall!” Anna called out slightly louder.

“I’m right here.” He replied surprised.

“I’m worried about Harry, Niall.” Anna said urgently. “He’s going to get hurt Niall. Can you look after him on tour?”

Niall laughed. “I think she’s sleep talking.”

“I’ll miss you Niall.” Anna said sadly.

“Do I wake her up?” Niall asked Harry concerned of what else she might say. Harry shook his head in confusion.

Suddenly Anna sat up properly and rubbed her eyes.

“I’m going to bed. Harry you can stay in the spare room if you want. Niall come whenever you’re ready. Night.” She said quickly before kissing Niall and heading to her bedroom.

“Do you reckon she was awake just then?” Harry asked watching her disappear into the dark hallway.

“No idea.” Niall shook his head smiling at her retreating figure.

—

Anna woke up stretching with a heavy arm draped across her body. Niall. She sighed and pushed him off swinging her legs of the edge of her bed and stretching again. She had no idea if Harry had stayed the night, she didn’t really remember getting into her own bed. Yawning, Anna rubbed her eyes and made her way into the kitchen, a comforting cup of tea set firmly in her mind. She nearly screamed when she nearly walked head first in a shirtless Harry in the kitchen.

Anna cursed, “Scared the life out of me Harry.” She laughed holding her hand over her thumping heart.

“Sorry Anna. I just needed something to drink.” Harry said sheepishly.

“It’s fine. Woo. Just gave me a fright.” Anna chuckled fanning her blushing cheeks before entering the kitchen properly and turning on the kettle.

“Sorry for staying the night.” Harry sat down on a kitchen stool and watched her move through the kitchen.

“Don’t apologize. Given the amount of times you’ve crashed at my house before, it’s hardly confusing. Have you spoken to Kelly?” Anna asked fetching milk from the fridge. Harry shook his head looking down at the glass of water clutched between his hands.

“Have you let her know that you are ok?” Anna asked concerned.

“Yeah. I sent her a text to let her know. But she hasn’t said anything back.” Harry mumbled.

“Ok. Breakfast?” Anna asked brightly clapping her hands together, trying to change the conversation to something lighter.

Harry looked up and nodded happily, thankful for the change.

—

Kelly woke up to an empty bed, confused. Where was Harry? He couldn’t be that mad at her? She was just trying to protect him from people that wanted to use him. He did say that he was over them fighting, but then maybe he shouldn’t try to be so secretive around her. Maybe he shouldn’t hide things from her. Maybe if he just told the truth to her, they wouldn’t need to have these fights. She was just shaping him into a better person. Sighing in anger Kelly got out of the bed expecting to find him asleep on the couch. Kelly was surprised when she couldn’t find him anywhere in the house. Walking back up the stairs she checked her phone.

-Staying at a friends’- That was it. He’d sent her a message. How extremely irresponsible of him, not to mention that he didn’t say whom it was. Could Harry really be cheating on her? No, Harry wouldn’t do that. Kelly was sure. She’d said it last night to be sure that he would deny it. Initially Kelly was worried about him, if he was safe, but that soon turned to anger. He couldn’t even come home and face what he’d done. He was lucky to have someone like her in his life and he was just throwing it all away, and for what? No reason at all. Because the wrong people in his life were telling him what to do. Kelly had the better knowledge of how her life would go and how Harry would be a part of that. Kelly was finally in the career that she’d dreamed of. People had always envied her good looks and now she was finally able to show herself off to the world. Harry should consider himself lucky and extremely blessed to be able to call her his girlfriend. The more she thought about it, the angrier Kelly became.

She held her phone on her hands wondering how she should reply to him. Maybe the silent treatment was best. Maybe she should completely ignore him when he came home. Throwing her phone on the bed in anger Kelly went to the bathroom to shower and calm down.

—

“You coulda woken me!” Niall yawned as he entered the kitchen where Harry and Anna were eating breakfast and laughing.

“But you looked so sweet.” Anna grinned at him, his hair sticking in every direction.

“I am a masterpiece in the morning.” Niall smirked before kissing her. Harry felt a flush run through his chest, something he didn’t recognize.

“Where’s mine.” Niall asked Anna hugging her from behind and pulling her against his bare chest.

“Hob.” Anna laughed as he rubbed his face in her neck.

“Thank you sweetheart.” Niall said kissing the top of her head and releasing her. 

Anna’s cheeks were pink and Harry felt the flush run through his body again. He wasn’t attracted to Anna. No. They were just friends. She was dating one of his best mates. Sure he might have been attracted to her when they first became friends, she was good looking to be fair, she had a wicked sense of humor and so incredibly wise. But Harry was not attracted to her like that. They were friends and only friends. They hadn’t spoken all tour and yet she welcomed him back in with open arms. She was too good of a friend. Not to mention Niall- that was against the rules. Niall got in and they were together and Harry was happy for them. Wasn’t he? They seemed happy together. But Harry couldn’t ignore the flush he felt in his chest when she’d nearly walked into this morning, hair a mess, no make up, completely relaxed. But she was with Niall. Why did he have to keep reminding himself of this? Kelly. The name burst into his name with clarity. Of course, there was also Kelly. Harry shook his head, as he recognized his name being called.

“Harry.” Anna repeated louder.

“Huh? What?” Harry asked confused.

“You really zoned out there.” Niall laughed as he stood across the breakfast bar from them eating the eggs that Anna cooked.

“Yeah I did. Sorry what did you say?” Harry asked looking between Niall and Anna.

“I was just asking what you were going to do today.” Anna replied smiling at him.

“I s’pose I’d better get changed at some point.” Harry said looking down at the jeans he’d slept in. “I was going to have lunch with Lou.” He looked up at Anna as she gasped and clapped her hands.

“Are you really?” Anna asked excitedly.

“Yeah I called her yesterday.” Harry smiled.

“Oh Harry. That’s brilliant. That’s so great. I am so happy for you.” Anna said brightly bouncing slightly in her chair.

“Calm down Anna, they aren’t getting married.” Niall laughed with his mouth full.

“Shush you. This is exciting.” Anna grinned at Niall and Harry suddenly wished that Anna would look at him like that just once.

“And I guess I should talk to Kelly about last night.” Harry sighed and noticed Anna’s face fall slightly, even though she recovered quickly.

“Yes you should. But Lunch. Ah. Exciting. I’m going to shower.” Anna said smiling and jumping off the stool.

“Didn’t realize you got so excited about lunch that you’d need to shower. Maybe I should take you to lunch.” Niall said wickedly.

Anna turned around shocked, “What was that Mr. Horan?” She asked aghast still smiling at him.

Niall was blushing slightly. Harry smiled widely watching them interact, again for a moment wishing that Anna would look at him like that.

—

Kelly dried herself off and checked her phone, expecting to see something from Harry. Silence, no text message, no voice message, nothing. Opening her twitter account hundreds of notifications flooded her phone. No message from Harry on twitter. Opening various other social media that Harry was known to use, there was still nothing. He was letting her slip through his fingers like an idiot. Throwing her phone back on the bed in frustration Kelly looked through her large wardrobe for something to wear. Harry being a complete and utter idiot wasn’t going to stop her career moving forward. She was going to go out today and be seen. She was going to start rumors about her and Harry. She was going to show him how terrible it was for him to ignore her. He had no idea the power that she wielded.

—

Anna dressed in black jeans and a flannel shirt. The weather was starting to get warmer, but for London that still meant a thick shirt and a jacket.

“Niall, what’s the plan for today?” Anna asked as she exited the bathroom and tied her hair up into a ponytail.

“Nothing planned.” Niall called from the kitchen. “Walk or something?” He continued as she entered.

“Yeah we can do that.” Anna nodded, Harry and Niall were still shirtless in the kitchen and eating. “Seriously, you’re still eating. I put this together,” Anna indicated her body with a flourish, “and you are both still eating.”

“Can’t help it that you are a good cook babe.” Niall said grinning, his mouth full. “And of course, you look wonderful.” He finished after swallowing making Anna smile at him.

“Stop eating and go get dressed. I only get two days off and it’s going to count for something while you aren’t on tour.” Anna replied as Niall walked past her and kissed her on the cheek.

“You ok Harry?” Anna asked as she started to clean up her now very messy kitchen.

“Hmm, yeah.” Harry mumbled absentmindedly.

“Is there something on my face?” Anna laughed and looked at her reflection in the microwave.

“What? No.” Harry said confused.

“Ok well you were staring at me like I had an albatross in my eye.” Anna laughed and started to stack her dishwasher.

“No, not at all. Niall was right. You look nice.” Harry mumbled somewhat shyly.

“Well then, you are more then welcome to stay over all the time if it means I get compliments from you both.” Anna laughed lightly and shut the dishwasher. “You sure you’re ok?” Anna asked her eyes running over Harry’s face quickly, seeing the crease in his eyebrows.

“Yeah, just thinking about things. Thanks so much for letting me stay here Anna. Really. I really appreciate it. After… you know everything.” Harry said slowly, twisting his hands nervously.

Anna waved her hand dismissively, “Harry, honestly, water under the bridge. We move on. You know how I feel about… certain people in your life. As long as that doesn’t come between us, we’re good. Ok?” Harry nodded and stood up quickly as Niall entered the kitchen again.

“What are you two chatting about?” He asked wrapping an arm around Anna’s waist. Harry didn’t realize how affectionate Niall would be once he actually found someone.

“Harry was just telling me how great I look.” Anna smirked poking Niall in the ribs.

“Was he now?” Niall laughed loudly.

“Saying that I was stunning, that I was like moonlight on a crystal lake, it was all very romantic.” Anna exaggerated. “Would be nice to get complimented… sometimes.” She sighed dramatically.

“I said you looked good!” Niall said indignantly. “I said she looked good didn’t I Harry?”

Harry nodded enthusiastically, still wishing that Anna would look at him with those eyes.

“Yeah but it’s not exactly moonlight on a crystal lake though is it?” Anna laughed.

“Fine you are like a morning sunrise over a… opal desert.” Niall said dipping Anna in her arms causing her to squeal. “How’s that?”

Anna laughed loudly, “Opal desert?”

“Opal desert.” Niall nodded.

“Opal desert.” Anna agreed before Niall kissed her. Laughing Niall picked her back up and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Anna noticed Harry was staring at them.

“You sure you are ok Harry?” She asked again.

“Yeah, yeah.” He answered vaguely. “Just thinking.” He muttered as he stood up and left the kitchen.

“I’m worried about him Niall.” Anna said tilting her head up to look at him.

“I know. You said last night.” Niall replied smugly.

“When?” Anna asked surprised. It was obvious that she was worried about him, but she didn’t remember voicing anything yet.

“Last night in your sleep. You said it quite loudly. Told me to look after him on tour.” Niall grinned.

“Well that’s embarrassing.” Anna laughed loudly while Niall continued to grin at her.

—

Kelly left the apartment slamming the door behind her as she still hadn’t heard anything from Harry. She was positively fuming. She could have been in an accident, she could be in hospital and he wouldn’t even know. Catching a cab to Oxford Street she decided to let off some steam through his bank account.

—

Harry waited nervously at the café he and Lou called “their café”. It became theirs after Lux had run and looked at the window and stomped her little feet until they had gone in.

“’Ello Love.” Harry heard from above him. Looking up he saw the woman that he had hardly spoken to in the last three months and with a pang realized how much he missed her.

“Lou.” Harry sighed, as she sat down before he could hug her.

“I missed you.” Harry blurted out immediately.

“I’ve been here this whole time knob.” Lou smiled at him, and suddenly it was just the two of in their café, talking like old times.

— 

Kelly noted three photographers following her as she walked out of another shop. Holding her head higher she continued to walk down the street. She could see two more photographers trying slyly to take some photos of some people in a café from the outside. Probably a ‘nobody’ but her curiosity getting the better of her, she purposefully strolled towards the hum of excitement.

—

Harry wiped a tear from his eyes as he laughed as Lou told him about Lux. His heart ached at how much he missed out without even realizing it.

“Sometimes I just think I shouldn’t be a parent.” Lou sighed as she finished laughing.

“You’re an excellent mother, Lou.” Harry said reaching across the table and squeezing her hand.

“Does this mean you are going to be around a bit more?” Lou asked smiling at Harry.

“I’m going to try. I had no idea how much I missed out.” Harry shook his head in disbelief.

“Niall wants Anna to come on tour.” Lou said suddenly changing the subject.

“I know.” Harry mumbled.

“I want her to come too.” Lou sighed sitting back in her chair.

“You do?” Harry asked lifting an eyebrow.

“Of course. She’s my friend. Might fill the loneliness you get sometimes.” Lou shrugged.

“She has school.” Harry stated simply.

“I know. It wouldn’t happen. But it would be nice. Especially for Niall.” Lou pondered.

“How long has he… umm… How long have they…” Harry didn’t quite finish his sentence. Lou was eyeing him carefully.

“Only since this break. But he’s liked her for a while. Surely you knew that Harry.” Lou was still eyeing him off.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was serious or anything.” Harry tried to shrug nonchalantly.

“You like her.” Lou said simply.

“No.” Harry denied strongly and Lou raised her eyebrows at him, disbelieving.

“No. I’m with… Kelly?” Harry said suddenly standing up and seeing his girlfriend walk into the café.

“This is some friend Harry?” Kelly said angrily.

“Yes.” Harry replied blankly.

“You haven’t spoken to me since yesterday and you are our here talking with her! I could have been hurt! I could have been killed! You would never have known!” Kelly waved her arms dramatically.

“I’m going.” Lou said suddenly standing up.

“No!” Harry said urgently. They hadn’t spent nearly enough time together yet.

“I think you should stop coming onto my boyfriend, cougar.” Kelly spat at Lou.

Lou scoffed in response while Harry stood aghast. Lou? Ever hit on him?

“I warned you to stay away from him.” Kelly growled as Lou picked up her bag.

“I work with him, idiot. Bye Harry.” Lou said shortly before walking out of the café.

“You warned her?” Harry asked angrily as Kelly turned around to him.

“She’s just using you Harry, get it through your thick head.” Kelly sighed patronizingly.

“She’s my friend. She works for the band. What have you been saying to her?” Harry’s voice lowered dangerously.

“Harry can we not do this here, there are people outside.” Kelly ignored his question.

“What have you been saying to her?” He repeated.

Kelly sighed dramatically, “All the things that you should have been saying to her for years when she was using you. That she is obsessed with you. That she’s in love with you, that she’s using you for fame, that she would be nowhere without you. I’ve been calling her out for what she is. A bitch.” Kelly crossed her arms in front of her body. Harry shook his head at her, speechless before he stormed out of the café.

Harry was met with a flash of photographers outside of the door. Trying to be polite he pushed past them keeping his head down, trying not to show how completely fuming he was.

“Harry!” Kelly called his name while flashing the photographers an award winning smile and trying to keep up with him.

“Harry!” She called again; supremely annoyed that he was not slowing down.

“Harry Styles you stop right now!” Kelly stomped her foot acutely away of the photographers following down the street. Harry turned abruptly and strode back to her.

“I will talk to you at home. I will not talk to you in the street like this. I will see you at home.” He said angrily, his voice so low Kelly barely heard it. He turned again quickly and left her standing dazed. Harry had never spoken to her like that before. Kelly shook her head quickly before turning and smiling at the cameras trailing her.

“Who wants an exclusive?” She smirked.


	7. Slow realisation

“Are you not spending any time in Ireland this break?” Anna asked as she cleaned the kitchen from the lunch she and Niall had just shared.

“Trying to get rid of me?” Niall asked cheekily before handing her his now empty plate.

“Something like that.” Anna smiled sarcastically, “More I was thinking of your Dad.” She added after pausing.

“Yeah, I know. I think I’ll go this week. You’ll be at school so I won’t get to cling to you during the days.” Niall shrugged.

“Cling to me?” Anna asked raising her eyebrow.

“Something like that.” Niall grinned at her.

— 

Harry slammed the door to his house and started to pace angrily in his lounge room. How did he not see what Kelly was saying to Lou, to anyone around him? He knew that the boys didn’t see eye to eye with her but he just thought that was because they didn’t really know her. How could she say those things to Lou? How could Lou even agree to meet him for lunch after he’d been so horrid to her? What about Anna? What had she said to Anna? He knew that he didn’t have any of the messages that were on her phone that she’d sent him. How could he be with someone like Kelly? He knew that he was in love with her, but right now he was struggling to pull out the reasons why. He’d felt so at peace at Anna’s house last night. He hadn’t felt that way in a while. Sweeping a hand through his hair in frustration he picked up his phone with his free hand. He needed to talk to someone.

—

Niall wrapped his arms around Anna’s waist and pulled her closer to him. She hung her arms around his neck and pulled his face to hers. He loved so much that he could finally kiss her. Taste her lips and feel her body pressed against his. He couldn’t imagine the bliss that would be when they slept together. Deepening the kiss Niall pulled her flush against her body as his tongue danced with hers. She had no hesitation as her body met his and she kissed him greedily. Suddenly there was a buzz in Niall pocket.

“I’m buzzing.” He said as he pulled back, causing Anna to laugh.

“Buzzing are you?”

“My phone.” Niall laughed as he pulled it out of his pocket, Anna hadn’t moved from their close proximity.

“Ignore it.” She whispered before attaching her lips to his neck. Niall checked at the caller ID and groaned when he saw it was Harry.

“It’s Harry.” Niall’s voice was raspy with the magic that Anna was working down his neck to his collarbone.

“You should probably get it then.” Anna said between kisses.

“Are you going to stop doing that so I can actually talk?” Niall chuckled deeply.

“Probably not.” Anna grinned against his skin.

Niall groaned before answering the phone. “Harry.”

—

Niall sounded breathless on the phone; maybe this was a bad time. But Harry needed to talk to someone he trusted. Louis and Zayn both didn’t answer their phones. Niall was next on his list.

“Niall. I need… I need to talk to someone.” Harry said, still pacing around his living room.

“What’s wrong?” Niall asked urgently. Harry heard him whisper something to someone.

“Is this a bad time?” Harry asked repressing an angry sigh. He just needed someone to talk to, why was everyone so busy?

“No it’s fine. I’m just at Anna’s. What’s wrong?” Niall answered, Harry could hear the smile in Niall’s voice as he said Anna’s name. Lucky bastard.

“I just… Kelly.” Harry growled her name.

“I’m coming over. You at home?” Niall said immediately. Harry could hear him walking around.

“Yeah I am. Thanks man.” Harry said sighing and slumping into one of his armchairs.

“No worries mate. See you soon.” Niall hung up the phone and Harry sat back in the chair rubbing his eyes. Was he meant to break up with Kelly?

—

“Is Harry ok?” Anna asked stepping away from Niall as he hung up the phone.

“I don’t know. Do you mind if I go?” He asked slipping the phone back into his pocket.

“No, yeah, of course go.” Anna nodded earnestly.

“Worst timing that guy. I’ll call you later yeah?” Niall sighed and started to walk to the front of the house.

“Yeah, just let me know if you need me or anything.” Anna said concerned as Niall shrugged on his coat.

“For kisses and things?” Niall asked hopefully.

“I meant moral support, but sure that too.” Anna laughed before Niall kissed her on the cheek and exited the house.

— 

Niall knocked on Harry’s front door and it swung open almost immediately.

“Niall.” Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

Harry’s eyes were wide and he looked slightly off colour, Niall grimaced as he entered the house, not sure what he should be expecting.

Harry sat opposite Niall on the couch and they looked at each other in silence.

“So…” Niall began awkwardly.

“Do I need to break up with Kelly?” Harry asked rubbing fingers across his forehead trying to relieve some of the tension.

“I have no idea.” Niall said confused. Harry stood up from the couch and began to pace around the room.

“Did you know?” Harry said suddenly stopping in front of him.

“Know what? Harry you need to start making sense or else I can’t help.” Niall said quietly.

“About Kelly? Did you know?” Harry repeated.

“Harry. I honestly have no idea what you are talking about right now mate.” Niall answered.

“What she’s been saying to Lou.” Harry groaned in frustration, “The things that she’s been saying to Lou. I don’t know what she’s been saying to Anna. She’s been… I don’t know Niall. I don’t know.”

Niall nodded in sympathy. Unfortunately he did know what Harry was talking about. He didn’t know the extent of it, but he knew that Lou was close to quitting at the end of the tour.

“Sit down mate.” Niall said cautiously. Harry looked up at Niall and nodded once before sitting down on the couch his knees bouncing nervously.

“Ok.” Niall sighed. “Here’s what I know.”

—

Anna ran through the house trying to find her phone. It was ringing somewhere but she couldn’t find it. Pulling up the couch cushions the ringing was getting louder. Groaning in frustration she still couldn’t find the bloody phone. Looking around the room in hopelessness Anna chuckled to herself without humour as she saw it sitting on the coffee table.

“Hello!” She answered breathlessly.

“Anna?” Lou asked surprised at Anna’s enthusiasm.

“Lou. Sorry, just couldn’t find my phone.” Anna smiled looking around her now bombsite of a house.

“You’re right. So I had lunch with Harry today.” Lou said quietly.

“Oh yes!” Anna replied excitedly, “How did it go?”

“It was great, actually got a chance to talk to him. Just like old times.” Lou sighed happily.

“I’m so happy for you!” Anna said moving around the living room and replacing the cushions.

“Yeah.” Lou hummed.

“What’s wrong?” Anna asked, hearing the sadness in Lou’s voice.

“It was great.” Lou said, “Then Kelly showed up. Said some awful things. I left.”

“Oh Love. I am so sorry.” Anna said sympathetically.

“Yeah I know. It’s ok. Gave Harry a chance to see her for who she is. I think that something’s shifted.” Lou said. Anna could hear Lux running around in the background.

“I think you’re right.” Anna said quietly.

“What do you mean?” Lou asked curiously.

“Just… Harry doesn’t seem happy. He stayed over here last night after they had a fight.” Anna sighed sitting down on the couch.

“He did?” Lou asked surprised.

“Yeah. Actually Niall is with him now. Harry called, he seemed upset so Niall left straight away.” Anna answered.

— 

“I can’t believe that Niall. Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Harry asked in shock after Niall finished telling him about the events that had unfolded on tour.

“The thing is mate. We did.” Niall answered glumly.

Harry shook his head disbelieving him. “When?”

“We tried to sit you down at the start of the tour. You didn’t listen, you told us that we just didn’t know her like you did. Then it got harder to get you alone. She’s always with you mate. Lou… she was close to quitting at the end of this leg. I don’t know what Anna’s said to her but she’s agreed to hang around. Who knows what the end of this next leg will look like?” Niall sighed resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward.

“I can’t believe it.” Harry said quietly.

“You don’t want to believe it.” Niall corrected him.

“I need to talk to her.” Harry replied his eyes dark with worry.

Niall nodded before jumping slightly as he heard the front door open.

“I should get going.” He said suddenly standing up.

“Thanks for coming over so quickly mate.” Harry said embracing him quickly.

“Any time.” Niall could hear Kelly moving through the house towards them. “You need anything, give me or Anna a call.” He said quickly and quietly as Kelly entered the room. Harry nodded quickly.

“Niall.” Kelly said brightly as she entered. “I didn’t know you would be here.” Kelly smiled widely at him.

“Just leaving actually Kelly.” Niall said stiffly. Harry for the first time was recognizing the change in Niall’s voice when he spoke to Kelly. It was small and if he didn’t know Niall extremely well, he wouldn’t have picked it up.

“Oh no, please stay.” Kelly pouted at him and grabbed his hands. Harry could feel the coldness radiating off Niall.

“Sorry. Got to get back to Anna.” Niall said, smiling when he said her name, carefully and purposefully removing his hands from Kelly's grasp. Harry felt a flopping sensation in stomach in his stomach when Niall said Anna’s name.

“Oh right. Her.” Kelly said not hiding her distaste for Anna.

“Yep.” Niall said his smile tightening. “Gotta spend as much time as I can with her before we head off again.”

“It’s such a shame she can’t come on tour with us.” Kelly said unkindly.

“I think I’ll fly her out when she has school break.” Niall defended.

“But would she even have the time?” Kelly asked sighing.

“On school break? Definitely.” Niall said still smiling, clearly forced and painted onto his face.

“But… is it really worth it? Don’t you feel like she’s using you?” Kelly asked.

“Kelly!” Harry snapped.

“Not at all. She doesn’t use people.” Niall’s smile dropped completely. “Goodbye Harry.” He said shortly before walking to the front door.

“Niall come give me a hug before you go!” Kelly whined as Niall reached the front door.

“Goodbye Harry.” Niall said angrily and shut the door behind him.

—

“Well that was rude.” Kelly said spinning around to Harry.

“Kelly, you insulted his girlfriend... twice.” Harry replied angrily.

“Well. She deserves it.” Kelly grumbled.

“What? Why?” Harry’s anger was mounting all over again.

“She’s in love with you Harry. God. Why are you so blind? She’s using Niall to get to you. Of course I am going to insult her. She’s coming after what’s mine. I don’t need to explain myself to you. Not after what you’ve done.” Kelly said venomously.

“She is not in love with me. She’s dating Niall.” Harry said his breathing heavy. “What do you mean after I’ve done? I’ve done nothing.”

“Really Harry? Really?” Kelly asked sarcastically. “You didn’t come home last night. I could have been hurt. You wouldn’t have known.”

“You could have called me. You have access to a phone as well you know.” Harry answered.

“And why should I always be the one that makes the effort?” Kelly’s voice was getting louder as she crossed her arms in front of her.

“When do you ever make effort?” Harry said incredulously throwing his arms up in the air.

“I am the one that is keeping the ones that want to use you away from you. I am the one that is protecting you.” Kelly said stamping her foot.

“Protecting me?” Harry shook his head. “You... you aren't protecting me Kelly. You are repeatedly insulting my friends, the people that I care about.”

“They aren’t your friends Harry, stop being so thick.” Kelly said rolling her eyes.

“I’ve known them longer than you. They’ve been nothing but good to me. They haven't used me for anything Kelly. Nothing.” Harry said starting to pace in anger again.

“I don’t want to talk about this any more.” Kelly sighed bored.

“Why? Because you know I’m right. You know that they aren’t using me for anything.” Harry asked frustrated.

“No! I am bored. I am bored with all of this.” Kelly snapped.

“Bored with what? With me? Go ahead Kelly. There’s the door.” Harry said angrily.

“So what Harry, you’re kicking me out now? Do you even know how good you’ve got it with me? You would be nowhere without me.” Kelly screamed.

“No where without you? Kelly. Don’t be ridiculous.” Harry groaned in frustration.

“You’ll never do better than me.” Kelly said smugly.

“I can’t do this any more Kelly. I really can’t. Not after what you’ve said to Lou and who knows what you’ve said to Anna and all the other people in my life.” Harry said quietly shaking his head.

“Can’t do what Harry?” Kelly asked quietly.

“This. This fighting. This backstabbing. You aren’t protecting me. You are protecting yourself. I just can’t anymore.” Harry sighed.

“So we won’t fight any more.” Kelly said taking a step towards him.

“That’s not what I mean Kelly.” Harry said taking a step back.

“You want to break up with me Harry?” Kelly asked taking another step forward and undoing one of her top buttons.

“I don’t know Kelly.” Harry replied. He knew what she was doing. She was doing what she always did, using her body to get him to forgive her.

“Really Harry?” She said taking another step forward and undoing another button.

“No Kelly, don’t.” Harry said tiredly sitting on the arm of his couch.

“Harry look at me. You love me.” Kelly said softly but confidently.

Harry looked up her; she was stunning, her perfect cleavage resting just below the open buttons of her top.

“Harry you love me.” Kelly said confidently again taking another step towards him, now standing between his legs and running her hands through his long curls. Harry’s eyes closed at the feeling.

“No Kelly. Stop.” Harry said pulling her fingers from him and standing up away from her.

“Harry.” Kelly ran a free hand through her hair.

“No Kelly. Just give me some time to think.” Harry sighed and walked out of the living room. 

-

“Hello?” Niall called out as he entered Anna’s apartment.

“Kitchen.” He heard her call out. Kicking off his shoes and jacket he entered the kitchen. He saw Anna leaning against the counter her phone pressed to her ear.

Mouthing ‘hello’ Anna smiled at him. Niall kissed her on the forehead and got himself a glass of water before standing and watching her talk. Anna smiled at him while she continued her conversation.

Niall started to make faces at her causing her to laugh and apologize to whomever she was talking to.

‘Go watch TV.’ Anna mouthed to him pushing him on the shoulder lightly. Niall held his hands up in surrender smirking at her before walking out of the kitchen and into the living room.

—

Niall was channel flicking when Anna came into the room and flopped down next to him sighing.

“Rough conversation?” He asked putting his arm around her. Anna groaned and hid her face in his chest.

“What happened?” Niall laughed.

“Talking to Lou.” Anna mumbled into his chest.

“And how was she?” Niall prompted.

“Fine.” Anna groaned still not removing her face from in his chest.

“Talkative today aren’t you?” Niall laughed again. Anna looked up at him grinning at him.

“I like your chest hair. Have I told you that?” Anna said before burying her face back into his chest.

“Yes you have. Stop changing the subject. Tell me what’s on your mind.” Niall replied.

Anna chuckled against him before sighing and leaning back.

“Just talking to her about Harry, talking her through some issues with Lux, just talking.” Anna said looking back at Niall, resting her head on his shoulder. “Actually speaking of Harry, how did it go?”

Niall shrugged in response. “Honestly, I don’t know. He’s not happy. I know that for sure. But I don’t know what he’s going to do about it.”

“Well as long as he talks to Lou this time around then it shouldn’t be too bad, should it?” Anna asked moving her face to the crook of his neck.

“I hope so.” Niall sighed.

“Enough about Harry.” Anna said brightly. “Where were we before you left?” She asked before kissing him lightly on his neck.

— 

“I can’t believe you are leaving already?” Anna whined, as Niall stood in her living room bags packed, ready to get on a plane and start the new tour.

“I know.” Niall said sadly.

“How did time go so fast?” Anna grumbled before she walked into his open arms.

“I don’t know.” Niall shook his head and held her tightly against him.

They stood in silence for a while just enjoying each other’s presence.

“How am I going to cope without you actually here?” Anna asked quietly after a while.

“I don’t know Anna. What have you done to me? I don’t want to tour without you.” Niall sighed resting his chin on her head.

Anna could feel the tears welling up in her chest. She promised herself that she wouldn’t cry. She felt like she’d hardly spent any time with any of them. Harry wasn’t talking much since he’d stayed over, probably still trying to work things out with Kelly. Lou and her had spent as much time as possible together, Lux had cried every time Lou had taken her home. And Niall. She was really only getting to know ‘boyfriend’ Niall, she didn’t want to be away from him. He made the difficult days at school better. He made her laugh, took away her stress, listened to her, gave her advice, in such a short time he became a rock in her life, and now he was leaving. That was his life and she wouldn’t take that away from him, it was just that with him leaving for tour, he was taking away part of her.

Anna sniffed. As much as she had promised herself she wouldn’t cry she couldn’t help her nose from leaking from the unshed tears.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Niall said pulling back from her and tilting her head up so that he could see her eyes.

“I’m not.” Anna said trying to smile and failing dismally.

“Barely.” Niall mumbled causing Anna to scoff. “I was thinking. On school break… you could come out to wherever we are.” Niall said nervously, his eyes darting quickly around her face.

Anna stared at him surprised. “Niall that sounds great, but I can’t afford that.” She shook her head at the reality.

“I’d pay.” Niall said earnestly.

“I can’t ask you to do that.” Anna responded shaking her head again.

“Lucky you aren’t asking. I’m offering.” Niall said smiling at her.

Anna smiled sadly in response, “I don’t know what to say Niall.”

“Just think about it would you?” He said pulling her back against his chest, feeling Anna nod against him.

– 

“I’ll miss you.” Niall said as he got into the waiting black car.

“Miss you too.” Anna said sadly.

“I’ll call when I land.” Niall said after winding down the window. Anna nodded in reply.

“Be safe.” He said, not wanting to drive away yet.

Anna laughed once without humour, “Yeah sure.” She smiled at him.

“Bye Anna.” Niall said before the car pulled out.

“Bye Niall.” Anna's voice was soft, with barely contained emotion.

“I love you.” Niall whispered, but the car had already pulled away.

— 

Anna looked around her empty house, she’d always lived on her own, but for the first time it felt lonely. Sighing she entered the living room and started to plan out the weeks lesson plan.

—

Anna rolled over groggily, her phone buzzing on her nightstand.

“Ello?” She croaked not looking at the caller ID.

“Oh did I wake you?” Niall’s thick Irish accent said loudly through the phone.

“No.” Lied Anna, her voice still rough.

“I know that you were asleep Anna. Sorry, I’ll call back later.” Niall laughed.

“I’m awake now.” Anna yawned.

“What time is it?” Niall asked, happy that he was finally talking to her.

Anna squinted one eye open, “1am.”

“Oh babe. I’m so sorry.” Niall said quietly, as if his hushed voice would make it better.

“You forgot about time zones.” Anna yawned rubbing one of her eyes with tiredness.

“I did. I am so sorry.” Niall said bashfully. “I landed safe though.”

“I’m thrilled.” Anna said sarcastically.

“Heyyyy.” Niall laughed.

“Sorry. I am glad, just also… asleep. How was the flight?” Anna yawned again.

“It was good. Long. We’re still sitting on the tarmac.” Niall answered. Anna could here two people laughing in the background as Niall shushed them.

“You haven’t even got off the plane yet?” Anna asked.

“No. I told you I would call you as soon as I landed.” Niall said triumphantly. “I’m a good boyfriend.”

“Calling me at 1am contradicts that.” Anna laughed.

“HI ANNA!” Anna heard two people yell from a distance.

“Who was that?” Anna asked tiredly, her eyes not staying open.

“That was Louis and Harry.” Niall answered, Anna could hear the smile in his voice.

“Ello.” Anna replied mumbling slightly.

“She says hi.” Niall said away from the telephone.

“Harry’s there?” Anna asked rolling over onto her side and resting the phone against her cheek.

“Course he is.” Niall answered.

“What about his cist?” Anna asked stretching out.

“His cist?” Niall laughed loudly.

“Cause she’s always attached to him.” Anna yawned again.

“She’s coming later.” Niall said quietly into the phone.

Anna hummed in response.

“I should let you get back to sleep.” Niall said after a short pause.

“Mmm.” Anna hummed again.

“Are you already asleep?” He asked grinning.

“Pretty much.” She mumbled in response.

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later. Miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Anna could hear the boys teasing Niall in the background. She smiled, glad that he was at least having a good time with them.

“Night Anna.” Niall’s was smile still evident in his voice.

“Night.” Anna sighed before hanging up.

Putting her phone back on the nightstand Anna rubbed her eyes tiredly after just another reminder that Niall wasn’t here with her.

— 

Harry’s breathing was coming fast and heavy. She was working wonders on him with her mouth, sucking and pulling and the most heavenly way. “Don’t stop.” he gasped as she looked up at him with melting eyes. Fingernails scratching at his thighs, Harry knew he was going to come undone soon, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. She was stunning; he couldn’t believe that she was finally his.

“Harry.” She called his name. He moaned in response.

“Harry.” She called louder, he looked down as Anna continued to move her mouth against him.

“Harry!” It wasn’t Anna that was calling his name. It sounded different. Kelly. Harry’s eye flew open; he was lying in bed drenched in sweat, Kelly shaking his shoulder trying to wake him up.

“What happened?” Harry croaked sitting up.

“I think you were having a nightmare. You were moaning and all sweaty. It’s gross Harry.” Kelly replied shuffling away from him.

“Yeah, must have been.” Harry felt himself straining against the tightness of his boxes; it was a dream. Anna was not here. He was with Kelly. It was a dream.

“Ok well… I’m going back to sleep.” Kelly said before rolling over.

Harry hummed in response before getting out of the bed and going to the bathroom. He didn’t want to be woken up from that dream, it seemed so real, Anna was so gorgeous, her hair falling delicately over her shoulder as she worked her mouth on him. It would be a long time before he would get that image out of his head. 

Turning on the water to the shower and stepping in, Harry closed his eyes under the hot water and brought back the image of him and Anna.


	8. Double Date?

“ANNA!” Niall yelled as her face flickered onto the computer screen.

“Hi Niall.” Anna replied happily before looking confused.

“Niall, are you just wearing socks and underwear?” Anna started to laugh.

“Yes.” Niall grinned widely.

“Thanks for dressing up for me.” Anna laughed.

“Anytime.” Niall continued to smile at her. “I’ve missed your face.” He said seriously.

“It hasn’t changed.” Anna shrugged.

“I still miss it.” Niall said somewhat sadly.

“Tell me about tour.” Anna said changing the subject.

—

“So have you thought about what I asked?” Niall said quietly.

“About what?” Anna replied.

“About coming on tour in your break?” Niall asked.

“Um yeah I have.” Anna mumbled.

“And?” Niall prompted.

Anna ran a hand through her hair, still thinking.

“I’m thinking… yes. I don’t like being away from you. It’s been more than a month and I hate it. So I have about a month off, but I think that I can only afford to come for maybe two weeks.” Anna said quickly.

Niall’s jaw hung open, “You’re serious? You’re coming?”

Anna nodded blushing.

“What do you mean you can only afford to come for two weeks?” Niall asked suddenly.

“Well flights, accommodation, I’m only on a teachers wage Niall.” Anna shrugged.

“But I’m paying for that?” Niall said surprised.

Anna shook her head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You aren’t asking. I’m doing it.” Niall said seriously.

—

Harry paced around his room; he couldn’t get the images of him and Anna out of his head. He couldn’t be developing feelings for her. She was with Niall, he was with Kelly, Kelly was on tour with them, he loved Kelly and he couldn’t have feelings for Anna. He stacked he facts up in his head as he paced. It was just a dream, something that popped into his head. It didn’t mean anything. Before Harry knew what was happening his was knocking on Niall’s door. How did he get here?

— 

“Hang on, someone’s at the door.” Niall jumped off the bed hearing Anna laugh as he ran.

“Harry?” He said in surprise.

“Shoulda known you’d just be half naked.” Harry laughed as he entered the room.

“I’m talking to Anna come and say Hi.” Niall said running back over to the bed. Harry’s face visibly whitened, was he ready to see the woman that he’d had such a vivid dream about last night, the woman that he imagined was in the shower with him, the woman that he definitely didn’t have feelings for.

“Hi Harry!” He heard Anna call out from the computer and he couldn’t leave now, he had to say hi.

“Hi Anna.” He called back from the other side of the room; he should just get out of here. Harry wasn’t ready to face her.

“Don’t be an idiot. Let me see your face.” Anna laughed and Harry stomach leapt, he’d missed her laugh. Walking over to the bed he sat down next to Niall.

“Hi Anna.” He smiled at her, damn it; she was just as stunning as she was in his imagination, if not better.

“Hello Harry!” She smiled broadly.

“Guess what Harry.” Niall said excitedly. “Anna’s coming on tour.” Niall answered before Harry could ask. Harry looked nervously between them. Anna was grinning and blushing and Niall had a smile that was about to split his face in half.

“When?” Harry asked his throat suddenly very dry.

“Summer holidays.” Anna replied, “So about three weeks away.”

“That’s awesome Anna.” Harry said smiling at her, she really was beautiful, how did Harry not jump on the chance to date her, why hadn’t he made a move on her and to think that he used to think that she didn’t like the band, it was ridiculous now.

“Lou is going to be so happy.” He said.

“Oh! We should make it a surprise!” Anna said clapping her hands. “Don’t tell her!”

“Ok.” Harry smiled; he didn’t know what it was about Anna. She was so relaxing, easily making him smile and laugh.

“Can I have my girlfriend back now?” Niall asked from beside Harry.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” Harry blushed; he had no idea why he was blushing, while Anna laughed. “I just came in to say Hi. I’m bored in my room.” Harry sighed.

“You can stay.” Anna scolded Niall. “We weren't talking about anything in particular.”

“Yes we were!” Niall said aghast.

“Niall you were telling me about a burger you ate yesterday.” Anna laughed.

“Extremely important.” Niall said indignantly smiling at her. Harry felt the flush of jealousy run through his stomach. While he and Kelly were better, they’d lost the initial rush they’d had together. Ever since that fight, things had changed.

—

“Okay, I need to go. I need to sleep.” Anna said through a yawn, after she’d chatted with Niall and Harry for another hour.

“Ok, I’m so excited to see you!” Niall said happily.

“Me too.” Anna smiled at them both.

“Don’t worry, I’ll organize everything and send you the details, you just need to turn up to the airport.” Niall said clapping his hands.

“I trust you. Harry should I trust him?” Anna asked laughing.

“I’ll help Anna. It will be fine.” Harry reassured her.

“Ok, bye boys. Niall I’ll talk to you again soon.” Anna said yawning again.

“Bye Anna.” They said in unison before Anna blew them both a kiss and closed the computer.

“I miss her.” Niall said immediately shutting his own computer.

“Me too.” Harry said quietly. “She’s a good friend.” He said quickly.

“Do you wanna go get something to eat?” Niall asked standing up from the bed.

“As long as you put on more clothes.” Harry laughed. “I’ll go see if Louis wants to go as well.”

Niall nodded looking for some pants while Harry exited the room.

—

School had finally broken up, the children excitedly leaving for the holidays. Anna’s first year was done. She’d have brand new students after the break. She was ecstatic that her contract had been renewed for another year. Same grade, new students, but here she was now, standing at the airport, waiting to board a plane to see Niall in Barcelona. The flight wasn’t long and the weather would be warm, more than anything Anna would be happy just to be hugged by Niall. She and Niall had argued about the fact that Niall had purchased business class tickets for her, when initially he wanted to fly her in a private plane. Then they’d argued about the fact that Niall had booked for her to stay for three weeks instead of the two that she had initially intended. They’d argued about whether management would be happy with her being there, where she would be staying, about absolutely everything about the trip. Anna knew that Niall was just doing it because he missed her and he wanted the best for her, but she wasn’t going down without a fight. Finally Anna’s flight started to board and she was one of the first passengers on the plane. She’d never flown business before and for some reason it made her extremely nervous.

—

The flight was smooth, on time and Anna surprisingly felt refreshed when she stepped off the plane, something to be said for flying in a better class. The plan was that Niall would send someone to pick her up; she didn’t want to cause a scene at the airport and have Niall mobbed by fans. But as she came through customs she nearly dropped her bags. There, standing in a chauffer’s suit and hat, was Niall with a sign with her name on it. Nobody was paying much attention to him even though the disguise was terrible to say the least. Anna walked up to his confidently resisting the urge to throw her arms around him.

“Miss Anna.” He said, his thick accent coming through.

“You are such an idiot, you know that right?” Anna couldn’t help grinning at him.

“I wanted to see my girl.” He said sheepishly.

“Why do I let you get away with things like this?” She said still smiling and shaking her head at him.

“Must be my Irish charm.” Niall replied smirking at her. “Come on, let’s get to the car so I can welcome you properly.”

—

Anna was snuck into the hotel through the back with Niall so that no one saw them. She quickly threw all her bags in his room and ran her fingers through her knotted hair, wanting desperately to surprise Lou.

“I think she’s having lunch with Lottie and Lux.” Niall said grabbing a hold of Anna’s hand and leading her through the hotel and out the back.

“Are we going to be seen together?” Anna asked suddenly, stopping and pulling Niall around to face her.

“Possibly.” Niall said nervously.

“Do… do you want that?” Anna asked her heart skipping a beat.

“Anna, we’ve been together for almost six months now. I don’t mind people seeing us together, but if you don’t want to that’s fine. We can just walk like friends.” Niall said sheepishly, sounding somewhat disappointed.

“No, no. I was thinking more for your image.” Anna said shaking her head, upset that Niall has misunderstood her intentions.

“Anna.” Niall mused, “I couldn’t care less, I would love to be seen with you.” Anna blushed in response before Niall leaned down and carefully connected their lips. “And it means I can do that whenever I want as well.”

— 

Anna could see the back of Lou and Lux’s heads sitting at the café outside on the boardwalk. Lottie did a double take when she saw Niall and Anna walking towards them, but after Anna put her finger on her lips, she nodded slightly and resumed the conversation with Lou.

“Guess Who?” Niall asked as Anna put her hands over Lou’s eyes from behind.

“Piss off Niall.” Lou remarked at the same time Lux squealed “Anna!” Anna released Lou and she jumped up from the table causing the plates and glasses to wobble.

“Anna?” She breathed in disbelief.

“Surprise.” Anna squeaked as Lou pulled her in for a bone-crushing hug.

“What? What? What are you doing here?” Lou said excitedly letting her go as Lux jumped on her.

“Came on tour, didn’t I!” Anna answered holding Lux against her. “Phew Lux, you’ve gotten so big. I’m not going to be able to pick you up soon.”

“Sit, sit. Niall I’m going to kill you.” Lou smiled at him before hugging him.

“Hi Lottie.” Anna said putting Lux down and leaning over to hug her.

“That was brilliant.” Lottie said as she sat down.

“Gave me a heart attack you did.” Lou said her smile reaching ear to ear.

—

“Why didn’t you tell me Anna was coming on tour?” Kelly asked annoyed after dinner when she and Harry were back in the hotel room.

“Because it was a surprise.” Harry answered slipping off his shoes.

“But you could have warned me.” Kelly pouted starting to get undressed, extremely aware of Harry’s eyes watching her.

“It doesn’t matter. She’ll be with Niall the whole time.” Harry sighed, his eyes were running up and down Kelly’s extremely fit body, but if he was honest with himself, it was not her body that he wanted.

“Still.” Kelly said, standing only in her lingerie. “You know those nightmares you’ve been having have been getting more frequent.

“I know.” Harry replied. He’d had more dreams about Anna than Kelly knew. He couldn’t get her out of his head and he needed too. He needed to see her with Niall. He needed Anna to see him with Kelly. He needed to get these thoughts out of his mind.

“Maybe we should go on a double date.” Harry suggested, pulling off his shirt.

“Maybe you should shut up.” Kelly said before she kissed him.

—

“Can you please quit being a teacher?” Niall asked as he hugged Anna close to him as they lay in bed.

Anna laughed. “What?”

“Because then you can be with me 100% of the time and not expanding the minds of the youth of today.” Niall said before kissing the back of her neck.

“Bit selfish of you Niall.” Anna giggled at the sensation.

“Never said I wasn’t.” Niall hummed against her skin before turning her towards him to capture her mouth with his own.

-

“You want to go on a double date?” Niall asked looking at Harry skeptically over breakfast. Anna hadn’t come down yet, Niall was surprised that he’d woken before her.

“Yeah, just you, Anna, Kelly and me?” Harry said quietly as he ate his cereal.

“You know Anna is not the greatest fan of Kelly right?” Niall asked.

“Yeah, but we’ve been way better, I’ve been keeping up with Lou and Lux, it’s different.” Harry pressed. He started when he saw Anna enter the hotels restaurant.

“Hey.” She yawned as she sat down next to Niall.

“Oh hey.” Niall said happily kissing her on the cheek.

“Sleep…” Harry’s voice broke and he cleared it quickly, “Sleep well?” He asked.

Anna nodded in response and took a piece of toast from Niall’s plate and began to nibble on it.

“You mind?” Niall asked grinning.

“Nope.” Anna said smiling back at him.

“Harry was just asking if we wanted to go on a double date with him and Kelly.” Niall said putting his arm around the back of her chair.

“Why?” Anna asked, not hiding the confusion in her voice.

“Because I would like to see you, catch up and I’m sure Kelly would too.” Harry said earnestly. Harry felt the familiar flush run through his body as he looked at Anna. 

She was freshly woken, hair not brushed, eyes still tired, cheeks slightly flushed; she looked incredible.

“We’re talking about the same Kelly right? You didn’t coincidently start dating a new person with the name Kelly did you?” Anna asked causing Niall to start laughing.

“It’s different this time Anna. Please?” Harry pushed, almost putting his hand on Anna’s but thinking better of it and folding his hands in his lap. Anna looked at Niall trying to measure his response.

“Up to you sweetheart.” He said before shoveling more food into his mouth.

“Yeah alright.” Anna shrugged. “I’ve missed you.” She smiled making Harry grin back.

—

“But I don’t want to have dinner with her and Niall.” Kelly whined as Harry shrugged on a loose shirt.

“Why not?” Harry asked doing up the buttons half way.

“Because I still think she has the hot’s for you. I don’t think that she’s a nice person. She’s using Niall. Do I need to go on?” Kelly sighed dramatically.

“Ok well she doesn’t and she isn’t.” Harry said massaging his temples, he was sick of having this conversation with Kelly whenever it came to Anna, and Kelly still had no idea about Harry’s dreams about her.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better Harry.” Kelly pouted folding her arms across her chest.

“Please. You just don’t know her like I do. I think you could be great friends.” Harry said running his hands up and down her arms.

Kelly rolled her eyes melodramatically, “Give me a minute and I’ll get dressed.”

“Thank you love.” Harry smiled as she walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

—

“Did you have a good day?” Niall asked as he and Anna sat in the restaurant waiting for Kelly and Harry. She nodded in response. They’d spent the day walking the streets of Barcelona, the concert starting tomorrow night; Niall actually had a free day. Anna’s skin was lightly sun kissed and they’d spent the afternoon at the beach.

“I didn’t realize that you tanned so easily.” Niall said running his fingertips lightly up and down her arms.

“I know, not very English of me is it? Something in the genes.” Anna smiled before taking a drink of water.

“I’m all Irish. I’m surprised I’m not a tomato.” Niall laughed.

“So am I honestly.” Anna joined him in laughter as Harry and Kelly entered the restaurant.

—

Harry swallowed heavily as he saw Anna and Niall laughing at the table when he entered the restaurant with Kelly. Anna looked like a goddess, her skin was lightly tanned, hair loose and wavy around her shoulders. She was wearing a white dress that hung off her body loosely showing off her tanned skin and her cleavage beautifully. Her laugh rang around the restaurant as Niall said something and Harry felt his stomach lift at the sound. Tonight was going to be the night that he got over her, that he wouldn’t dream about her any more. Tonight was going to be the night, but it was going to be difficult with her looking so incredible.

— 

Anna jumped slightly as Kelly and Harry sat down at the table opposite them. She immediately felt underdressed. Kelly was wearing a tight mini golden dress that showed off her ample curves, her hair was perfectly curled and her make up was flawless. Anna hadn’t put on any make up and her hair was naturally drying from the beach.

“Harry, Kelly!” She greeted as they sat down.

Kelly smiled tight-lipped while Harry returned the greeting.

“Kelly you look amazing!” Anna said once they were settled and Harry smiled at her.

“Thank you Anna. You look… Did you go to the beach today?” Kelly replied her eyes sharp.

“Yeah. I should have gotten more dressed up.” Anna said blushing slightly.

“I think you look wonderful babe.” Niall said squeezing her shoulder while Harry nodded.

“Thanks.” Anna’s blush deepened. “So how have you both been?”

— 

Anna was laughing at a terrible joke Harry had made, noticing that Kelly wasn’t really laughing.

“Kelly, how is work going? The modeling I mean?” Anna asked trying her best to include her in the conversation.

“Oh you know it’s all so busy, the travel, the photo’s, the paparazzi.” Kelly replied waving her hand around as she answered. “Oh God Anna. The paparazzi though, they just attack whenever they see us together don’t they Hair-Bear?” Kelly said to Harry. Anna baulked at the nickname, she thought that stage was over, apparently not. 

Harry nodded shyly.

“I mean, thank goodness you are just a teacher and you don’t have to deal with that. It takes a special breed I think. You have to be tough enough.” Kelly continued.

“Yes, I’ve been quite lucky that Niall and I haven’t captured much attention.” Anna agreed slightly, her jaw tensing.

“Well I mean, why would you? You aren’t in the spot light like we are.” Kelly explained.

“No. I’m not. Niall has been quite protective of that.” Anna said quietly a tick starting in her jaw.

“Niall doesn’t need to be protective does he? I mean… Anna love, you are a teacher.” Kelly repeated patronizingly.

“I’m well aware of what my occupation is Kelly.” Anna replied. “What I mean is, each of the boys attract their own amount of press. Niall has been quite good at staying out of it all.”

“Well he’s not Harry is he?” Kelly scoffed sitting back in her chair.

“No he’s not. What is that supposed to mean?” Anna asked louder than she had intended. Niall put a hand on her knee.

“Nothing. I don’t know why you are getting so offended.” Kelly laughed innocently.

“I’m not. Just wondering what you are meaning.” Anna said her words sharp. She’d tried to include Kelly in the conversation and of course it had backfired on her. Kelly hadn’t changed at all. She was as manipulative as ever, still trying to control Harry, still thinking that she was better than everyone else, still thinking that she could get away with saying whatever she wanted. Anna didn’t let anyone talk down to her and she was certainly not going to let this woman get away with it, no matter which of her friends she was dating.

 

Anna took a deep breath not hearing whatever Kelly’s response was but saw the smirk on her lips that she had gotten under Anna’s skin. Niall squeezed her knee and she relaxed smiling at him. Harry cleared his throat before starting a new conversation with Niall as their food came.

—

Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off Anna, so much so he was hardly even paying attention to the conversation around him. He knew that Kelly had gotten under her nerves but Anna remained calm and acted like nothing was wrong. Her eyes were bright and she looked towards Niall for comfort. Harry felt a pang of jealousy wishing that Anna would look at him like that, even just for a moment. Just to see her eyes melt when he smiled at her, or shake her head in disbelief when he made a stupid joke to her. He would give anything to experience that. He was trying to get over whatever this infatuation was with her, but she wasn’t making it easy on him.

Harry smiled at Kelly, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Why was he lusting after Anna when he had this beautiful creature sitting next to him? She looked gorgeous in the dim lighting of the restaurant, the dress she was wearing making her devilishly sexy and yet his eyes were constantly drawn to the innocence of Anna. Her laugh and her smile radiating beauty, which Harry was afraid to admit, he didn’t see from Kelly.

—

As Anna ate her meal Harry noticed that Niall wiped away the sauce that had gotten stuck to her chin, making her laugh. Harry had actually reached forward to do it himself but realized what he was doing and swerved his hand to his glass and look a long drink. He had to get himself together but Anna was invading his every thought.

—

“I am completely stuffed.” Niall said patting his stomach and sitting back in his chair.

“I’m not surprised.” Anna laughed patting his full belly, “You inhaled your dinner.”

“It tasted good.” Niall defended making Anna smile.

“How was yours Harry?” Anna asked looking across the table surprised to see Harry studying her so intensely.

“It was really good.” Harry said lightly, the seriousness in his gaze lessening.

“And yours Kelly?” Anna asked politely, even though she didn’t care what her answer was.

“The meat was over cooked, the salad was dry and the wine wasn’t great.” She complained. “I guess I just have a more sophisticated palate.”

Niall snorted in laughter while Anna rolled her eyes as she took a drink of her wine.

“How long are you on tour with us?” Kelly asked, her eyes narrowing again to Anna.

“Just three weeks.” Anna answered, she didn’t know why, but whenever Kelly referred to the band touring she said “us” and for some reason it drove Anna mental.

“Then back to normal life, I imagine?” Kelly asked.

“Something like that.” Anna nodded.

“Isn’t it funny, that this is normal life for us baby?” Kelly said draping herself over Harry.

“Yeah.” Harry mumbled as he shifted in his seat.

Anna saw the stress in Harry’s eyes and it left her curious, she wanted to ask him if he was ok, but how on earth was she meant to do that with Kelly trying to morph them into one being.

—

As the end of dinner came about, Kelly was practically sitting on Harry’s lap, running a hand through his hair and sucking on his neck.

“I think that’s a night for us.” Anna said loudly hoping to stop them having sex on the table in front of them.

“Really?” Harry asked loudly, “Not yet, surely?” He pleaded.

“Nah mate. Anna’s had a big day. Think we should call it.” Niall said standing up. Anna smiled at him as she joined him and he wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Wouldn’t expect you to hang around. You aren’t used to this lifestyle.” Kelly mumbled.

Anna ignored her and rested her head on Niall’s shoulder. Harry felt the jealousy run through his veins as he saw how they stood. So connected to each other, so aware of each other. Kelly sat up as Harry stood up from the table.

“It was really good catching up with you.” Harry directed to Anna. “Can we do it again?”

Anna smiled in response, not wanting to say yes. She would say yes if Kelly weren’t there. She’d been antagonized by her all night and didn’t want a repeat.

“Come here.” Harry said opening his arms and engulfing her in them. He didn’t care that Kelly was sitting down watching them embrace, he didn’t care that his stomach jolted when their bodies connected, he didn’t care for the rush of lust that he felt for her running through his body as he fought the urge to kiss her senseless, he cared that she was in his arms, hugging him, that he, for the first time in a long time, got to feel her body against his. He hair smelt like a mixture the beach and apricot shampoo, her body smelling sweeter, he never wanted to let her go.

“Am I interrupting something?” Niall laughed loudly causing them to separate, all to soon for Harry.

“Just missed her a bit.” He said blushing. There was a crash at the table as Kelly stood up quickly and stormed out of the restaurant.

Harry looked helplessly back at them. “See you later.” He said before dashing out after them.

“Think he might be in trouble.” Anna laughed.

“Think you might be.” Niall grinned.

“Why’s that?” Anna asked smiling at him.

“Because you look too damn good in that dress and I need to take it off you immediately.” Niall answered hoarsely.

“We should probably get out of the restaurant first.” Anna blushed.

“Probably.” Niall took her hand as they paid the bill.


	9. Eat, Tour, Sleep, Home

Anna sat in the dressing room watching Lou work on Liam's hair and face.

“How are you liking tour Anna?” Liam asked as Lou sculpted his long hair.

“It’s fine. You know, hanging about, travelling, living the life.” Anna shrugged smiling at him. “How are you feeling about it?”

“It’s alright. Miss home a bit.” Liam said wincing slightly as Lou caught a knot in his hair.

“Sorry babe.” Lou said quietly.

“Am I distracting you? I can go.” Anna said quickly standing up.

“No!” Lou replied urgently. “You’re keeping me sane here.”

“Right then.” Anna laughed sitting back down as she continued to talk to Liam.

— 

“Ok Harry you’re up!” Lou called into the hallway. Anna could see a football whizz past the open door. Harry ran into the room breathless.

“Playing soccer.” He said pointing behind him. Like most of the boys he opted to run around shirtless, and Anna couldn’t blame him, it was an extremely warm night. His chest was glistening slightly in sweat as he sat down in the chair.

“I don’t imagine there’s a lot she can do with your hair.” Anna laughed as she ran a hand through his sweaty curls. Harry closed his eyes and hummed in response to the feeling.

“It’s just all long isn’t it?” Anna laughed as she tugged on the ends and his eyes snapped open. “Bit sleepy there, are you?” She laughed again.

“No, was just a nice feeling.” Harry blushed.

“My, my Harry. Are you blushing?” Anna said loudly smirking.

“Shut up.” He grumbled still smiling at her and pushing her slightly.

“You want a headband or bun tonight?” Lou asked holding up a scarf and a hair tie.

“Anna’s choice.” Harry said happily settling back in the chair and taking a swig of water.

“It’s really hot outside. Go bun.” Anna said studying Harry’s face and watching the small curls gather around his hairline.

“Yes M’am.” Lou laughed before gathering up his hair.

— 

“Do you ever want to braid his hair?” Anna asked as Lou powdered Harry’s face.

“What?” Harry asked shocked as Lou yelled, “Yes!”

“What do you mean you want to braid my hair?” He asked grinning at her.

“It’s so long. I could do plaits in it.” Lou smiled at him.

“Maybe tomorrow.” Harry grinned. “Anna’s choice.”

“Oh, don’t I feel privileged.” Anna smirked, “Careful what you wish for there Harry.”

“Right you’re done, go on, get the next one.” Lou said patting him on the shoulder.

“Anna’s choice.” Harry repeated raising his eyebrows making her smile again.

—

The concert was incredible, the crowd deafening and boys ecstatic. Anna stood out the back watching it on several monitors with Lou and Lottie. Occasionally the boys would run out the back for a break, to get some water, to go to the bathroom, or sometimes just to say hi. Niall was definitely the most distracted on the stage, constantly smiling at the cameras and making faces.

“I’ve never seen him take so many breaks.” Lou commented after Niall ran back on stage and giving Anna a very sweaty kiss.

“I’m a distraction.” Anna hummed.

“Yes. But a good one.” Lou hugged her. “Have I told you how glad I am that you are here?”

“Not in the last three minutes.” Anna smiled her eyes still fixed on the screen in front of her.

“I must be losing my touch.” Lou answered.

“Must be.” Anna mumbled watching Niall skip around the stage. “He needs to be more careful about that knee.”

—

“Did you see us babe?” Niall yelled as he ran into Anna’s arms.

“How could I miss you?” Anna laughed. “Niall. I like you. But you smell so bad right now.”

“You love it.” Niall hugged her tighter.

“Get off.” She mumbled against his sweaty skin.

“Alright, alright.” Niall said letting her go and kissing her on the top of her head. He left to one of the back rooms to get changed.

“Gross.” Anna sighed jumping as Harry hung his arms around her shoulder.

“Not you too.” She laughed.

“How’d you like it?” He asked his cheeks flushed with excitement.

“It was great. Can you get off me?” Anna smiled at him.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you love me?” He asked pulling her closer.

“I do. I do!” She squealed as she was pressed against his sweaty chest, feeling his heart pound loudly. “You’re gross.” She said her face pressed against his chest, hearing him chuckle loudly.

“You love it so much.” He said laughed and wiggled her against his chest.

“Get off ‘Arry!” She laughed. Harry could feel tension in his already tight jeans. This was not good. But he didn’t want to let her go.

“You’re so gross.” Anna laughed her lips accidently making contact with his skin as she tried to escape his grasp. Harry shivered at the feeling and let go of her.

“You have goose-bumps.” Anna laughed shoving him slightly.

“Must be the affect you have on me.” Harry said shimmying towards her.

“Go away.” Anna laughed pushing him as Niall came back.

“This guy bothering you?” He asked in a false American accent.

“My savior.” Anna pretended to swoon.

“NEVER!” Harry yelled and with surprising strength, threw a squealing Anna over his shoulder and ran down the hallway, Niall in pursuit.

—

Anna was crying with laughter when Harry carefully put her down on the couch in the green room.

“Found you!” Niall yelled entering the room.

“You got me.” Harry held up in his hands in surrender.

“Had no idea you were so strong and quick Harry.” Anna said sitting up and wiping her eyes.

“I’m not always quick.” Harry winked at her.

Anna scoffed, “Was that...Were you just making a sex joke?”

Harry nodded proudly.

“Terrible.” Anna shook her head smiling.

“If you don’t mind. Can I have my girlfriend back?” Niall laughed watching the two of them.

Harry sighed, “I guess.”

“Shut up.” Anna laughed before standing up and walking into Niall’s open arms. Harry’s stomach lurched with the reality of the situation. While he would flush with the time that they spent together and his imagination would run wild with what they could do together, the reality was that she would go back into Niall’s arms and he would hold her as they fell asleep.

—

Anna stretched feeling Niall’s heavy arms across her waist. Anna squinted an eye open to see the lights on her phone flashing.

“Arry?” She answered.

“Hey. Did I wake you?” Harry whispered into the phone.

“No… I was just doing my… Pilates…” Anna checked the clock, “at 7am.”

Harry laughed lightly into the phone. “I was just thinking we could go get some breakfast.”

“Yep. Sure. What time?” Anna mumbled rubbing her eyes.

“Now?” Harry asked shyly.

“Sheesh. OK give me a minute. I’ll meet you in the hallway.” Anna yawned before hanging up the phone and getting out of the bed. Pulling on swimwear and a loose dress, Anna scribbled a note to Niall telling her where she was. Closing the door soundlessly behind her, Anna squealed as she ran into Harry waiting just outside her door.

“Trying to give me a heart attack?” She asked breathlessly.

“Good Morning.” Harry replied brightly.

—

Anna and Harry strolled along the beach; it was quiet, the city still waking up.

“I like it here.” Anna sighed breathing in the salty air.

“Same.” Harry sighed enjoying the warmth of the sun.

“Where to next?” Anna asked.

“There’s a little café down there.” Harry pointed while Anna laughed.

“I meant, where next on the tour.” Anna corrected herself.

“Oh right.” Harry mumbled. “Madrid. Much hotter, no beaches.”

Anna sighed, “That’s a shame.”

Harry nodded smiling at her. Again she looked stunning, so naturally beautiful. He’d dreamt about her again last night and woke up knowing that he needed to see her. After feeling her pressed against his bare skin, her lips grazing him lightly, his dreams became much more vivid. He was disappointed and angry with himself for sleeping with Kelly and thinking of Anna. It was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. Anna was invading all of his senses.

“Still. It’s freaking Madrid right!” Anna said excitedly, clapping her hands.

“You’re so excitable.” Harry laughed, his stomach bubbling at her laugh.

“Well I’ve never been to Madrid. Sorry Mr. ‘I’m in a famous boy band and I travel the world’ Styles.” Anna giggled knocking her hip against Harry’s.

“I prefer Harry.” He replied through a laugh.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Anna grinned at him as they continued to walk.

—

“Anna?” Niall stretched as he woke up.

“Right here.” She said from the door.

“You’re up already?” Niall asked sitting up in bed.

“It’s midday Niall. Yes I am awake.” She laughed as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” He yawned.

“I went to breakfast with Harry. And you are adorable when you sleep.” Anna grinned running her hands through his hair.

“Yes I am.” Niall smiled and wiggled closer to her in the bed, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“How was breakfast?” Niall asked after a while, completely relaxed at Anna continued to play with his hair.

“Much better than dinner, let me tell you.” Anna chuckled making Niall laugh.

\--

“You’re all packed? Ready to go?” Niall asked for the sixtieth time.

“Yes Niall. I didn’t bring that much.” Anna sighed, she’d really been waiting for Niall to pack but he’d been to busy checking if she was ok.

“Ok. Ok. I just need to…” Niall disappeared into the bathroom as Anna sat on the bed.

“Shane wants us to take separate cars to the airport.” Niall entered the room again looking at his phone.

“Why’s that?” Anna asked sitting up slightly.

“I dunno. Must want us to meet some fans outside the hotel.” Niall shrugged tying on his phone.

“Oh. Right then.” Anna said disappointed. It wasn’t a huge deal, but she was hoping to be with Niall all the way through the journey.

“I can tell him no.” Niall said hearing the sadness in Anna’s voice.

“No really, it’s fine. I’ll go with Lou. I’ll look like one of the entourage.” Anna smiled at him.

“You might be too good for me.”

“You’re only just figuring this out now?” Anna replied standing up from the bed.

“No, I’ve known it all along. I just don’t want you to figure it out.” Niall said before kissing her on her forehead.

“Ha, Ha," she laughed sarcastically. "Lou is going soon. I’ll see you on the plane.” Anna said pulling away from him and collecting her bag.

“See you when I am standing in front of you.” Niall said opening the hotel door for her.

“Don’t fall in love with a fan while I’m gone.” Anna said.

“I’ll try not too.” Niall laughed as he closed the door.

— 

“Apparently Kelly is going out to meet the fans with Harry.” Lou said as the car took them to their airport.

“Why?” Anna asked surprised. She hadn’t really given much thought to how Kelly would be traveling to the airport.

“She threw a huge tantrum so Harry argued with Shane about it.” Lou shrugged.

“This is a normal thing?” Anna asked.

Lottie scoffed in response. “Totally normal.”

“Not a fan Lottie?” Anna asked smiling.

“Is anyone?” She grumbled making Anna laugh.

— 

“Home sweet Hotel Room.” Niall said opening the door to his and Anna’s room.

“Wanna carry me over the threshold?” Anna asked sarcastically as she entered the room, the bags having already been brought up.

“I can if you want.” Niall grinned mischievously bending to pick her up.

“Don’t you dare!” Anna laughed as she ran into the room.

—

For three weeks Anna toured with the band, spent time with Lou and Lux, got quiet time with Harry, but mostly spent time with Niall. He kept her relaxed, he made her laugh and not to mention their sex life was on fire. So at the end of the three weeks she was more surprised than anyone that she didn’t want to go back to school. Niall was still on tour for a few more months and it was going to be harder to be in contact as he went to places like Australia and South America. It was a sad day of goodbyes and hugs at the hotel as Anna waited to catch a cab to the airport, Niall the saddest of all. Which was quite a competition between him and a tantrum throwing Lux.

“I don’t want Anna to go.” Lux cried in her mothers’ arms.

“Me neither baby. But some other kids need her.” Lou comforted her.

“No.” Lux cried adamantly.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come at all.” Anna pondered sadly seeing the sad faces around her.

“No. Don’t think like that. I much rather this time with you, than none at all.” Lou said immediately. “Also I don’t think Niall would have coped half as well without you here.” Anna nodded in agreement, struggling to smile as she saw Niall and Harry talking across the room.

“Ok Luxy, come give me a big squeeze that I can remember for the next few months till I can have another one.” Anna said quietly. Lux immediately detached from Lou’s neck and clung to Anna as she sobbed into her shoulder.

“It’s ok sweetheart. You’ll see me soon.” Anna comforted. She could feel tears welling in her eyes. With a final sob Lux let go and ran back to her mothers arms.

“See you real soon ok?” Lou said picking up her daughter before holding Anna close. Anna nodded in response, not trusting her words.

“You’ve kept me sane these past couple of weeks, who knows what’s going to happen now.” Anna laughed in response and squeezed her friend one final time before letting her go.

“You ready?” Niall asked from behind her, his hand on the small of her back. Anna nodded sadly.

“Bye Lou. Bye Lux.” Anna said quietly.

“Bye Anna.” Lou replied as Lux waved, her little chin wavering with tears.

“Don’t forget me.” Harry said holding out his arms.

“Of course.” Anna smiled sadly as she was engulfed in Harry.

“Be safe. Remember to be you.” Anna said her cheek pressed against the hot skin of his chest.

“I’m always me Anna.” Harry replied sadly.

She shook her head slightly. “No you aren’t Harry. But I’m here for you. Always.” Harry slowly let his arms drop and was surprised when he felt Anna’s lips brush lightly against his cheek. “Always.” She mumbled to him before turning away.

Anna quickly wrapped herself back in Niall’s arms as she started to cry and he smoothed her hair whispering to her. Harry turned and left the lobby, not wanting to see Anna so upset and being comforted in the arms of another man. Looking at her one last time before getting into the elevator he felt the knife in his stomach twist as Anna and Niall where caught up in a passionate embrace, that Harry wished desperately was him.

—

Something had changed on tour. Something had shifted. Both Harry and Niall were not themselves, which was putting the rest of the band off. Harry had been uncharacteristically snappy with everyone while Niall had been quiet and broody.

—

Niall groaned as his alarm went off, reaching around the bed he was once again disappointed when Anna didn’t bundle into his arms.

—

Harry sighed shutting off his alarm, signaling the beginning of a new day and the start of another leg the tour with a long plane ride. Feeling the body cuddled beside him, Harry wrapped his arm around Kelly’s waist pulling her closer and humming in contentment. Harry nuzzled his nose into Kelly’s neck inhaling her scent. 

Something was wrong. It was not the smell he wanted. He wanted apricot and this was too sweet. Harry’s eyes shot open, he wanted Anna, he was thinking of Anna. He couldn’t keep doing this to Kelly. He couldn’t keep cheating on her with his imagination. He was happy with her when they were just talking between the two of them, but as soon as she was around other people, Harry just didn’t like who she became.

He’d spoken to Anna a few times on Skype, mainly due to the fact that he would find out when Niall was planning on talking to her and would just ‘somehow’ turn up to his room.

As much as Harry hated it, he knew that he and Kelly were drifting apart, and he knew that he was somewhat responsible for that. He knew that he wasn’t getting over Anna and he knew that every time he saw her and Niall talking, he only wished that she would look at him with such affection. Rolling away from Kelly’s sleeping form Harry got out of the bed stretching, his thoughts still firmly set on Anna.

—

“Hi Baby.” Niall said quietly into the phone after they had landed and returned to the hotel room.

“Hello Niall.” Anna replied equally as quiet.

“We landed.” Niall said tiredly.

“I figured.” Anna sighed.

“You ok?” He asked hearing the sadness in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just one of the harder days.” Anna replied.

“I know baby. I miss you.” Niall ran a hand through his hair removing the beanie he was wearing.

“I miss you Niall.” Anna said sadly, Niall could hear that she was close to tears.

“Tell me about your day.” Niall prompted trying to distract her.

“Don’t want to talk about it.” Anna mumbled.

“Come on baby. Talk to me.” Niall heard Anna sigh heavily hearing the quaver in her voice.

“I just miss you.” Anna repeated, this time Niall heard the sob.

“Baby, please don’t cry.” Niall looked up at the knock on his door. “Hang on, there’s someone at the door.”

“Harry, really not a good time mate.” Niall said covering the mouthpiece, Niall’s heart broke as he heard Anna sniff through the phone.

“You talking to Anna?” Harry asked curiously.

“Yeah, not a great time.” Niall repeated.

“Hi Harry.” Anna croaked through the phone.

“She’s says Hi.” Niall said shortly.

“Hi Anna.” Harry said brightly in complete contrast to Anna.

“Yeah, I’ll be out soon. Just. I gotta go Harry.” Niall said shutting the door against Harry’s protests.

“Sorry baby.” Niall said sitting back on the bed. “Tell me what’s going on.”

—

An hour later Niall emerged from his room, his eyes slightly red, looking stressed.

“You ok?” Harry asked as he and the rest of the boys were kicking a soccer ball in the hallway. Niall nodded absentmindedly. The conversation with Anna had shaken him up.

“Niall. Mate. What’s wrong?” Harry asked again.

“Yeah, no, it’s fine.” Niall replied shaking his head.

“Is it Anna? Is she ok?” Harry persisted.

“Just drop it Harry.” Niall said tiredly before going back into his room.

“What’s his problem?” Louis asked as he kicked the ball back to Liam.

Harry shrugged in response grabbing his phone and walking further down the hallway to call Anna.

—

“Harry?” Kelly asked opening their door, making Harry jump and drop his phone.

“Yeah Kel?” Harry asked bending down to his phone.

“What’s all this noise out here?” She asked her nose scrunching up.

“Just the boys playing ‘round.” Harry replied putting his phone back in his pocket.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She said crossing her arms across her chest.

“No, no, you just surprised me.” Harry smiled at her.

“Mmm.” She hummed not quite believing him.

“Well come to bed soon.” She said sighing.

“Yes love. Give me a minute.” Harry nodded.

Grumbling Kelly shut the door while Harry looked at his phone, deciding not to call her. It wasn’t worth the risk with Kelly so close.


	10. Rumours, Rumours

“Amanda would you please sit down.” Anna growled at the classroom. Something about rainy weather made the children go crazy, which was saying something because it felt like it was always raining in London. Anna rubbed her eyes tiredly. She’d stayed up late the past few nights talking to Niall and Lou. Tour was going well, as in the concerts were amazing, it was the behind the scenes things that were stressing them out. Someone was leaking their hotels to newspapers and fans and they were hardly sleeping. Not to mention the rumors that were surrounding them at the moment. Harry was apparently engaged. Kelly was apparently pregnant. Niall was sleeping with fans left right and center. Liam apparently broke his leg. Louis was apparently on hard-core drugs and Zayn was leaving the band. It was exhausting to keep dispelling the rumors, but the consistent ones surrounded Harry, Kelly and Niall.

—

“Amanda, I have had enough!” Anna yelled and the classroom hushed. Softening her tone Anna continued, “I know that it’s raining outside, but that’s no excuse for this much noise. I think we’ll have some quiet reading time until the end of the day. Pack up your desks and sit quietly with your hands on your heads when you are done. You have five minutes.” The children still had no concept of time so while they were noisily packing up their desks Anna chose a book. She was surprised to see Amanda as one of the first children to be sitting quietly.

“Good job Amanda.” She smiled as she sat in the reading chair. Reaching behind her she pulled out a sticker sheet and handed her a sticker. Amanda’s face lit up her brown eyes melting as she accepted the sticker. Anna didn’t know what it was but stickers were like crack to children. As soon as they other children saw that Amanda had a sticker there was a stampede as they all rushed to the floor.

“Ok class, let’s all settle down.” Anna said before opening the book and starting to read.

—

Pulling the last of the homework sheets out of her bag, Anna sat on the couch and prepared to start reading through the messy tracings of her grade one class. After smiling at a few of the children’s attempts at getting the “G” and “H” down Anna was halfway through when her tired eyes strained to see the clock reading 10pm. She was exhausted, her phone had been on silent since school had ended and she only now turned the sound back on. She was surprised to see at least six calls from Niall, two from Harry, four from Lou, two from Louis and one from a number she didn’t recognize. Sitting up straighter she returned the call to Niall ignoring the voice mails.   
He picked up on the second ring.

“Anna!” He yelled desperately.

“Niall. What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Anna asked hurriedly.

“Oh thank god. You’re ok. You weren’t answering my calls.” Niall breathed in relief.

“What’s wrong? Why do I have a hundred missed calls from you?” Anna asked still concerned.

“You weren’t answering any of our calls.” Niall was still breathing heavily in relief.

“Niall. Tell me what’s going on! Are you hurt?” Anna asked sternly. Something bad had to have happened for that many people to be calling her.

“Why didn’t you answer anyone’s calls?” Niall asked desperately.

“I was marking homework. I just didn’t turn on my phone after school. Would you please tell me what’s going on?” Anna replied frustrated that he wasn’t answering any of her questions, but continued to ask his own.

“I am so glad you answered.” Niall breathed.

“Tell me what is happening!” Anna said sharply. Her heart had leapt to her throat when she saw all the missed calls.

“You haven’t seen the news?” Niall asked quietly.

“No. I’ve been marking. What’s on the news?” Anna asked her stomach sinking again.

“It’s another rumor. I promise. It’s not true.” Niall said quickly.

“What’s not true?” Anna asked cautiously.

Niall sighed heavily, “It’s another cheating rumor.”

“Oh is that all.” Anna breathed a sigh in relief.

“It’s not just that Anna.” Niall said pausing briefly.

“What else?” Anna’s emotions were going through seasickness, one second everything was fine, the next she was overboard vomiting again.

“There are pictures.” Niall said quietly.

“What do you mean ‘there are pictures’?” Anna asked her voice stiff.

“We went out drinking, dancing, I promise it was just dancing. I didn’t kiss her.” Niall said loudly.

Anna’s face paled, the rumors had always just been rumors, no pictures; this was different, this was new.

“Anna?” Niall asked tentatively.

Anna cleared her throat, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Niall asked still hesitant.

“Okay.” Anna said rubbing her forehead. The pictures must be pretty bad if everyone was calling her about it. But then, Niall did have a tendency to overreact and he would have run around trying to get someone to talk to her. But then, how long ago did this happen? Was Niall going to tell her immediately? She trusted him and they didn’t exactly call each other every day. Anna and Niall hadn’t been publicized, they’d been snapped together a few times, but mostly it was when they were with Lou and the media put it down to the fact that they were friends. There was silence on the phone.

“When did it happen?” Anna asked her throat dry.

“Nothing happened Anna, I promise you.” Niall said his voice hushed.

“That doesn’t answer my question Niall.” Anna said tiredly.

“Last night for me. So maybe your yesterday morning, I think.” Niall said quietly trying to work out the time zones. He hadn’t really had a chance to talk to her about it. The newspapers sure did work quickly.

“I don’t know who took the photo, or how it got out so quickly.” Niall sighed. “Or why it’s news, I’m not kissing anyone. I’m just dancing.” Anna could hear the hurt in his voice.

“Were you going to tell me about it?” Anna asked not really wanting to know the answer.

“I was.” Niall said quickly. “I was going to tell you everything, we haven’t spoken much this week. We just went out for a few drinks and a dance. I danced with a girl and then we left. I’m being honest Anna, nothing happened.”

“You know the more you deny it, the harder it is to believe.” Anna sighed; she was too tired for this. It was Friday night. She just wanted to go to bed.

“I just want you to know that I am telling you to the truth.” Niall’s voice was hushed again.

“Why do I have missed calls from half the band?” Anna asked stifling a yawn.

“Because you weren’t answering my calls.” Niall answered.

“Do you really think that I would just jump to conclusions without talking to you Niall?” Anna asked annoyed, how little faith did he have in her?

“No. But I can understand why you would.” Niall replied.

“Okay. I’m going to bed.” Anna sighed. She didn’t want to be having this conversation any more.

“Okay. You’re okay? We’re okay?” Niall asked his voice sounding hurt.

“Yep.” She answered shortly. She didn’t really know how to feel. If Niall said that it was nothing, and she usually believed him, but there was something about this, something in her gut that was weeding it’s way into her, doubt.

“You don’t sound ok.” Niall pointed out.

“Niall. It’s nearly 11 o’clock; I’ve had a long day, a long week. I’m tired. And you are denying rumors, again. I’m sorry if I don’t sound perky.” Anna snapped, regretting it immediately. “Sorry. I’m just tired.”

“It’s ok. I’m sorry for scaring you. We’ll talk when you wake up?” He asked hopeful.

“I don’t know Niall. I’ll just… I’ll talk to you later ok?” Anna answered stifling another yawn. She needed to call Lou and talk to her but she was much too tired to do that tonight.

“Ok, when?” Niall wouldn’t give in.

“I don’t know Niall. Soon.” Anna groaned.

“Ok. Ok.” Niall said getting the hint. “I’ll talk to you real soon. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, goodnight, or day. I don’t know.” Anna rubbed her eyes, her thoughts too tired and too busy.

“Goodnight Anna.” Niall said sincerely.

“Night.” She said quickly before hanging up the phone. She’d go through the voice mails in the morning, much to tired to think right now. Pulling herself up from the couch, Anna groaned as she made her way to the bedroom, landing face first on the bed Anna rolled over and was almost immediately asleep.

—

“She finally called me.” Niall said running a hand through his hair and sitting on the couch.

“Is she ok?” Lou asked as she styled Harry’s long hair.

“I don’t know.” Niall shook his head. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He didn’t know how to explain that to Anna and he knew that she wasn’t happy. He didn’t know who took the photo and who gave it to a newspaper to fabricate a better story. They obviously had to be working closely with the band, they knew his movements to and from the hotel, and they’d taken pictures to look like she was kissing him, to look like he went back to the hotel room with them. It wasn’t even the same girl; it was a patron of the hotel that walked in at the same time. They both happened to be blonde, and both happened to have photos where he was smiling and laughing. Niall was always smiling and laughing; that ‘Niall’ was nowhere to be seen right now.

“I’ll call her in the morning.” Lou said spraying Harry’s hair.

“I don’t think she wants to talk to anyone.” Niall said rubbing his eyes.

“She’ll talk to me.” Lou said confidently.

—

Niall flicked between screens on his phone, while Lou finished up Harry’s hair. Should he send her a message, should he say something about it, what was he meant to do in this situation? He didn’t want bad lighting and a false photo to be the reason the best relationship of his life ended. He knew how lucky he was with Anna, she was the most caring and considerate person he’d ever met, not to mention her wicked sense of humor. His stomach grumbled upset, as he thought about how much he didn’t want her hurt in all this. Unfortunately this was always going to be part of his job, usually Anna laughed all the rumors off, this was the first time that Niall had ever heard her angry. Not angry, disappointed, surprised definitely, but never this upset. She’d snapped at him, she’d never done that before. Niall typed out at least five different messages to her, deleting them each time, knowing that he should just leave her be.

—

“Right, Niall you’re up.” Lou said brightly as Harry jumped out of the chair concentrating heavily on his phone. He offered Niall a small smile as he passed but didn’t say anything.

“It will be ok love.” Lou said as he sat down and she started combing through his hair.

—

Harry dialed Anna’s number. He just needed to talk to her, see if she was ok. At each ring he got more and more nervous. As soon as Niall had told him what had happened Harry had called Anna, going straight to her voicemail. He was worried about her, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t know what it meant for Kelly and him. It was extremely selfish of him to think, but if Anna and Niall broke up, his immediate thought was of how happy he could make her, forgetting all about Kelly, he thought about kissing Anna, about touching her body, about making her laugh, about making her his. He’d shaken his head at the thought. He wouldn’t do that to Niall though, he knew that it would kill him. The whole band had agreed that a partner or love interest would never break up the band. So Harry paced the performance arena halls praying that Anna would pick up so that he could check on her.

“’ello?” She answered groggily, her voice husky.

“Anna, shit, I forgot about the time zones.” Harry said kicking himself for not thinking of this. Of course that’s why she and Niall had had such a short conversation.

“Harry. What’s wrong?” Anna asked tiredly, “S’there some other rumor I should be aware of?”

“No, no, not at all. I just wanted to see if you’re ok.” Harry said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“You spoke to Niall?” Anna asked her voice low.

“Kinda.” Harry replied.

“Then you know I’m fine.” She replied shortly. Harry had never heard her sound so angry before.

“You don’t sound fine.” Harry persisted.

“Harry, do you seriously want to get into this right now?” Anna was annoyed.

“I’m just making sure you’re okay.” Harry said quietly, he was relieved to hear her voice but he could hear the hurt and anger in it.

“Yeah, Harry I’m fine. I’m fine because I come home, alone, again. I’m fine because I have had a really long week at work. I’m fine because I come home to another cheating scandal, which no one knows is a cheating scandal because not a lot of people know we are together. So it’s just another notch on his proverbial belt. You know why I’m fine Harry, because even after speaking with Niall, telling him how tired I am, and he knows that I just need a time out, I still have you call me at half one in the morning, because you don’t believe him. I’m fine Harry. This is not your place to worry about me. Worry about Kelly. Worry about yourself. Stop worrying about me and Niall, Harry. Just let me sleep.” Anna burst out; Harry could hear the shuddering breaths of tears in her chest.

“Anna, it’s my place to care about you, because you’re my friend.” Harry said quietly.

“Then be a friend and let me sleep.” Anna said tiredly, Harry could here her crying.

“I just want you know I’m here for you.” Harry said quietly.

“Yeah, you are right here for me Harry. You’re in a different country. Completely here for me.” Anna said sarcastically.

“It doesn’t matter what the distance is, I always care about you Anna.” Harry confessed, blushing as he said it, hoping she didn’t read into it too much.

“Harry, I don’t want to do this with you right now. I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk. I need a break.” Anna said tiredly, sniffling.

“I know. I’m sorry I woke you. I’ll talk to you in your morning?” He asked hopefully.

“I told you Harry, I need a break.” Anna replied her voice expressionless.

“A break from who?” Harry stomach dropped.

“From all of you.” Anna said before she hung up the phone. Harry’s brain didn’t register the dial tone as she hung up. Staring at the ground. What had he done? Had he made everything worse? He couldn’t tell Niall about this, it would just make him mad. Putting his phone back in his pocket Harry shook his head to join the boys in the green room as they prepared for their next concert.


	11. Space

“She’s still not answering my calls.” Niall complained two days later. Anna hadn’t answered anyone’s calls, even Lou, which surprised everyone.

“Just let her breathe for a bit.” Harry suggested, he still hadn’t told Niall about the late night conversation.

“Let her breathe? Let her breathe? I can’t, not when I’m hardly breathing. I’m worried.” Niall nearly shouted.

“Oh god Niall. Would you give it a rest?” Kelly replied annoyed as she curled up to Harry. “It’s not even that important.”

“Would you, for once in your life, shut up Kelly!” Niall snapped. Kelly’s jaw dropped open.

“Don’t speak to me like that.” She yelled outraged.

“I’ll speak to you however I damn well please when you talk about my girlfriend like that.” Niall bellowed back.

“What does it even matter Niall. She’s probably moved on. Got what she wanted from you and is seeing someone else.” Kelly said bitterly.

“Fuck off Kelly.” Niall growled at her.

“No. You know what, she’s a useless bitch. She’s not answering your calls because she wants attention. She’s an attention whore and you’re all just giving into it.” Kelly continued sitting up from Harry, who was too stunned to move.

“She’s not the… you know what just fuck off.” Niall eyes were flaming, Harry had never seen Niall so angry.

“What are you trying to say Niall? Just spit it out.” Kelly stood up with her hands on her hips.

“You Kelly. You’re the one that’s using Harry. Don’t think I don’t know what you’ve been saying to the rest of the crew behind Harry’s back. I’m sick of trying to be friends with you for Harry’s sake it’s exhausting. You’re using Harry and I’ve had enough of it. Meanwhile Harry just sits there saying nothing because you’ve beaten him into submission. You’re a bitch Kelly. Plain and simple.” Niall exploded.

“You know what fuck you Niall. You deserve the Anna the ugly bitch. She’s plain and simple. You’ll never have what Harry and I have!” Kelly spat.

“What, ‘convenience’?” Niall interrupted sarcastically. “No thanks.”

“At least Harry answers my calls.” Kelly said smugly.

“Ok that’s enough you two.” Harry said standing up between them.

“Oh finally you say something.” Niall said throwing his hands in the air. “Fuck both of you.” He said before leaving the room, calling Anna for the fourth time that hour.

—

Anna sighed as she saw Niall’s name flash up on the screen. She’d seen the pictures, she knew what it looked like, and she knew it wasn’t true but she still had a sick feeling in her stomach. She’d told Harry she needed a break from everyone. She felt bad about ignoring Lou as well, but she just didn’t want to speak to anyone. She wanted to feel normal for a few days. Sighing she answered the phone.

“Hi Niall.”

“Oh god. You actually picked up. Are you ok?” Niall asked hurriedly.

“I’m fine.” She replied blankly.

“I just needed to hear your voice.” Niall said quietly.

“Here it is.” Anna answered shortly.

“Are you ok? I miss you.” Niall said trying to coax more out of her.

“Look Niall, I told Harry I didn’t want to be bothered for a couple of days.” Anna sighed, her eyes welling up with tears again. She didn’t want to keep crying, but lately it seemed like all she was capable of doing.

“What do you mean you told Harry?” Niall asked stunned.

“He called the other night, after you. Didn’t he tell you? I don’t want to talk to anyone Niall. I need a break.” Anna replied quietly.

“He uh, he didn’t say anything.” Niall’s voice broke, “What do you mean you need a break?”

“Just from everything. I just need to feel normal again.” Anna answered, unwanted tears leaking from her eyes.

“From me?” Niall asked, Anna could hear his heart breaking.

“From the band, just for a bit.” Anna tried to comfort him. Why was she comforting him? She was the one that was hurting.

“Anna. I can’t. I don’t.” Niall was stuttering. “I… understand. Just promise you’ll come back to me.”

“Always. Goodbye Niall.” Anna hung up before he could respond as the sob wracked through her chest and she lay on her couch crying, the loneliness overwhelming her.

—

Niall heard the click of the dial tone and his chest felt numb. Why hadn’t Harry said anything about talking to her? Why did Harry call her? Niall saw red as he entered the room again fuming. Kelly was sitting on Harry’s lap basically dry humping him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He barked at them, causing Harry to nearly throw Kelly off the couch.

“Tell you what?” Harry asked his voice shrinking; he knew exactly what Niall was talking about.

“Why didn’t you tell me you called her? Why did you call her? What did she say to you?” Niall roared at him, Kelly was looking at them both confused.

“I just called to see if she was okay.” Harry said standing up with his hands in surrender.

“You just called to see if she was ok? After I spoke to her. She told you she needed a break from everyone and you didn’t think that you should pass that along to me?”   
Niall was outraged. “Why did you call her?”

“I told you, to see if she was ok.” Harry answered, he wanted to diffuse the tension but he had no idea how, Niall was never this angry.

“And what right do you think you have calling my girlfriend?” Niall asked his fists balling up.

“She’s my friend.” Harry answered meekly.

“She is my girlfriend.” Niall roared again.

“Niall… I…” Harry stuttered before Niall turned and stormed out of the room.

“You called her?” Kelly shrieked as Niall left.

“Yes I called her.” Harry said tiredly.

“You didn’t tell me you called her.” Kelly continued to yell.

“I don’t tell you everyone I call Kelly.” Harry said pulling at his hair. He needed to make things right with Niall. How could he ever be so selfish to think that he and Anna could be happy together?

—

A few days later Anna finally worked up the courage to check her voicemail. Taking a deep breath she opened the first from Niall.

“Hey baby, how was work? Can you give me a call when you get a chance? Another stupid rumor I want to talk to you about. Ok bye.” He sounded relaxed, like it was just a routine call. Anna clicked onto the next one, deleting the first.

“Baby, just getting a bit worried. You’re usually home from work by now. Give me a call yeah? I miss you.” Niall’s voice rang through the phone. He sounded slightly more stressed, but still pretty calm. His over reaction about the images must have been because Anna wasn’t answering.

The next message was from Lou, “Hi Love, Niall says you’re not answering your phone and he’s getting a bit worried. Can you give me a call when you get this?” Anna could hear Lux running around in the background making her smile.

Another message from Niall, “Anna, I’m getting really worried. Can you please call someone back? It doesn’t have to be me. Just I need to know you’re okay.” Anna sighed as she heard the hurt in his voice.

Next was from Harry, “Anna banana. You doing ok? Can you please give someone a call? Niall’s about to loose his mind.” Anna smiled at the nickname, Harry didn’t use it often but he knew that it always made her smile.

There was another message from Lou, “Love. Please pick up your phone. Niall’s concern is contagious.” Anna smiled at the care her friends had for her. There would be no need if the rumors stopped though.

Another message from Niall, “Ok I’m going to stop calling you, you need space. But I just need to know you are ok. Send someone a message if you don’t want to talk. Just so that I know you are safe. I need to know Anna. I’m worried. I know what the pictures look like, but I promise it’s nothing. Just call me so I can explain please.” Niall’s voice was loud in the phone and filled with concern. Anna’s heart ached at the pain he was feeling.

There was another message on the phone and Anna listened intently, “I knew that you were just using him. He doesn’t care about you Anna. You’re a bitch. Niall is finally waking up and enjoying his life. You can’t hold him back any more. You’re useless. See how much better he can do without you.” Anna sat stunned; she’d recognize that voice anywhere, Kelly. Anna only started paying attention to the next message half way through, so stunned at what Kelly had said to her. “Niall’s really freaking out. You should know because I never call you, except when I have an awesome story to share. I don’t have a great story, but you should call Niall.” Louis voice echoed through the phone and that was the last of the messages.

—

Anna exited out of the voicemail center and put down her phone carefully. She hadn’t deleted Kelly’s message like the others. She was too shocked to do anything with it. Who was she meant to call and talk to about it? She was in radio silence with anyone that had to do with the band and that left her options extremely limited. Sighing she dialed Niall, surprised he picked up on the third ring.

“Anna?” He answered timidly.

“Hey Niall.” Anna replied quietly. Not entirely sure why she had called him, or what she was meant to say. There was silence on the phone.

“You still there?” Niall asked after a while.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Anna sighed, just hearing Niall’s voice made her want to cry again.

“Anna I miss you.” Niall said his voice hushed.

“I miss you too.” Anna admitted, again tears started leaking from her eyes and she huffed in annoyance.

“What’s wrong baby?” Niall asked his voice full of concern.

“I’m crying again.” Anna confessed.

“What do you mean again?” Niall’s voice was distressed.

“It hasn’t been a great couple of days.” Anna said wiping her eyes.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I really am. I just… how do I make it up to you?” Niall was lost; he didn’t know what to do to make it right.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Anna replied quietly.

“It’s my fault you are hurting, it’s my fault I’m not there with you. What do I do to make it better?” Niall asked hopelessly.

“Nothing. It’s fine. I’ll toughen up.” Anna chuckled once without humor as the tears continued to fall.

There was silence on the phone as Niall panicked. He wanted to be holding her, hushing away the tears, or just sitting with her, instead he was a world away from her.

“I actually rang you for a reason.” Anna said after clearing her throat.

“What’s that baby?” Niall asked softly, as if he was scared a loud voice would scare her away.

“I finally went through the voicemails from Friday.” Anna said before pausing, did she really want to tell Niall about this? But whom else was she going to tell?

“I got all yours, I know that you didn’t think the rumor was a big deal and I appreciate you calling.” Anna took a deep breath, “In the voice mails, there was one from Kelly.”

“What?” Niall asked loudly interrupting her.

“Yeah. Um. I don’t know what to do with it. It wasn’t particularly kind.” Anna sighed.

“Send it to me.” Niall said sternly.

“I don’t want to cause any drama Niall.” Anna sighed. Maybe she shouldn’t have told him.

“Drama has been caused Anna. Send me the voicemail.” Niall repeated, his voice stiff.

“What do you mean drama has been caused?” Anna asked cautiously.

“I uh… I kind of had a go at Kelly and Harry a few days ago.” Niall said nervously, Anna could just imagine him scratching the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous.

“What happened?” Anna’s stomach flipped in worry.

“I was complaining about how you hadn’t called, and Kelly made some comments… so I uh… I took the opportunity to put her in her place.” Niall admitted guiltily. “Then I finally got to speak to you and Harry didn’t tell me about talking to you, so I uh, gave him a piece of my mind as well.”

Anna was stunned. Was she the cause of fights in the band? This was completely what she didn’t want. When she first started hanging around the band this was the thing she was most concerned about, the thing she had constantly told Lou that she didn’t want to be a part of, the cause drama. Yet here she was causing fights between Niall and Harry.

“I shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry Niall.” Anna said quickly, her stomach sinking.

“What? No! Yes you should call, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Niall replied hurriedly.

“I’m tearing the band apart. I can’t do that Niall. I can’t come between you and Harry, this is all my fault.” Anna’s breathing was becoming heavy.

“No, baby, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Niall said desperately.

“It’s my fault Niall. I shouldn’t be talking to you. We shouldn’t be together. Talk to Harry, make up with him. This is my fault.” Anna whispered.

“No. Anna, don’t say that. Harry and I fight all the time. It’s ok. You aren’t doing anything wrong.” Niall said anxiously.

“I shouldn’t have called. Goodbye Niall.” Anna hung up the phone her chest tightening and her hands shaking, she was destroying the band and it was all her fault.

—

“Anna? Anna!” Niall yelled into the dial tone. He called her again immediately and it went straight to voicemail. He hung up and dialed again. How did this spiral out of control so quickly? Did she just break up with him? What had happened? What was the voicemail from Kelly? Niall paced angrily, dialing her number again, once again going straight to voicemail. How did this fall apart so quickly?

—

Niall knocked on Harry’s door tiredly. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore. The door swung open to reveal Kelly.

“What do you want?” She spat her eyes narrowing.

“I don’t have time for your shit Kelly. Where’s Harry?” Niall replied.

Kelly sighed heavily before looking over her shoulder and calling out Harry’s name.

“He won’t want to see you after what you said to me.” Kelly said smugly crossing her arms over her chest. Harry came to the door quickly.

“Niall. Mate. I’m so glad to see you.” Harry said quickly making a smile ghost over Niall’s lips.

“Can we talk?” He asked. Harry nodded hurriedly and stepped out of the hotel room much to Kelly’s protest.

“I’m sorry Niall, I should have told you.” Harry said immediately after the door closed behind him.

“It doesn’t matter Harry.” Niall said shaking his head sadly.

“It does. I should have told you. I knew how worried you were, and I was concerned and I should have told you.” Harry repeated, his voice low to prevent people listening in.

“I think we broke up.” Niall whispered heartbroken.

“What?” Harry asked stunned, his stomach flopping awkwardly.

“She… I don’t know what happened.” Niall sunk to the floor as he explained the phone call.

—

Harry was stunned. How could she think like that? He knew the answer, because she always put anyone else before herself.

“I don’t know what to do. She’s not tearing the band apart.” Niall said shaking his head. “She won’t talk to me.”

“Do… do you want me to call her?” Harry asked tentatively.

Niall nodded slowly. “I just don’t know what to do Harry.” Harry sat in silence, his hand on his friends shoulder.

“I didn’t tell you about the voicemail.” Niall said suddenly.

“What voicemail?” Harry asked the knot in his stomach twisting.

“Kelly rang her. Left a voicemail on… on that night.” Niall said rubbing his face.

“What…” Harry’s voice cracked, “What did she say?”

“I don’t know. I tried to find out but Anna wouldn’t tell me.” Niall shook his head.

“I’ll call her.” Harry said confidently. “I don’t know if it will help. But I’ll call her.”

“Thank you mate.” Niall sighed. “I’m sorry about before.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I would have done the same thing if Anna was… because Anna was so upset.” Harry corrected himself.

“Let me know how you go with her.” Niall said standing up from the floor.

“I will.” Harry replied as Niall walked slowly back to his room.

—

Harry sighed staying on the ground as he pulled out his phone. It should be about five in the afternoon in London. He slowly selected her name from his list of contacts and ran his free hand through his long messy hair.

“Harry?” Anna asked sniffing.

“Anna Banana.” Harry said softly, his heart splintering at the sounds of her tears.

“Hey.” She replied quietly.

“What’s going on Banana?” Harry kept his voice soft.

“Oh you know. Life and things.” Anna chuckled.

“Sweetheart.” Harry sighed, “Tell me what’s happening.” He heard Anna sob again and Harry felt his own eyes prick with tears.

“I just. I’m ruining everyone’s lives. It’s better off without me.” Anna sniffed.

“Love, you can’t think that’s true.” Harry replied, he’d never heard Anna speak like this.

“I’m causing problems between you and Niall. You’re fighting because of me.” Anna mumbled.

“Love, do you really think I’d be calling you if we were still fighting?” Harry asked.

Anna sighed heavily. “I don’t know Harry.”

“I know sweetheart, I know that it’s hard. But we’re ok. We are brothers, it’s always going to be ok.” Harry comforted her. There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“Niall said something about a voicemail.” Harry said tentatively.

“He did?” Anna sighed.

“He did.” Harry repeated. “Would you like to tell me about it?”

Anna huffed into the phone. “Not really.”

“Are you going to tell me anyway?” Harry prompted making Anna laugh briefly.

“Yes.”

—

Harry’s jaw hung open as Anna explained the message briefly to him. He couldn’t believe it.

“Can… Can you send it to me?” Harry asked clearing his throat.

“I don’t know if that would do any good Harry.” Anna said heavily.

“Anna, please, it’s important.” Harry pleaded. “Are you nodding right now? You know I can’t hear you if you’re nodding.” Anna chuckled in response.

“Yes, I’m nodding.”

“Good girl.” Harry complimented.

“You sound like me when I am talking to the class.” Anna laughed again.

“It’s good to hear you laugh again.” Harry smiled.

“It feels like it’s been a while.” Anna agreed.

“I’m so sorry love. I’m sorry I’m not there.” Harry sighed.

“It’s ok Harry. Really.” Anna replied.

“It’s not, but thank you for saying so.” Harry smiled. He missed this. Just talking, like old times with his friend Anna. The warmth in Harry’s stomach at talking to Anna spread through his arms and his legs as he sat.

“I miss you Anna.” Harry said quietly.

“I miss you Harry.” Anna said equally as quiet.

“I… erm. I love you Anna.” Harry mumbled. The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening.

“As a friend I mean.” Harry said quickly kicking himself at the slip up.

“Sorry Harry, the phone cut out, what did you say?” Anna asked loudly, Harry could hear a crackle in the phone.

“It was… it was nothing. Just having a moment of reminiscing.” Harry sighed.

“Look, I should go.” Anna said after a while, causing Harry’s heart to beat heavily.

“Ok, but you should call Niall.” Harry said running his hands through his hair. He was letting her slip through his fingers again, but then she was never his, she was Niall’s.

“Send me the voicemail yeah?” Harry reminded her.

“Yeah I will. Thanks Harry. For chatting I mean.” Anna said, her voice sounding slightly happier.

“Anytime Anna. Always.” Harry answered trying to hide the sadness in his voice.

“Love you Harry.” It was the final thing he heard Anna say before she hung up, causing his stomach to drop completely.

—

“How did it go?” Niall asked as Harry entered his hotel room.

“She’s ok. You haven’t broken up. She’s just a bit confused. She’s sending me the voicemail.” Harry rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He’d just admitted to Anna that he loved her and she didn’t even hear it. Then she’d said that she loved him. Harry knew it was only as a friend but his heart still leapt at her words.

“Listen Niall. Have you told Anna you loved her?” Harry asked suddenly.

“Yeah.” Niall replied, his voice hushed.

“And she said it back?” Harry asked. Niall nodded in response.

“You love her?” Harry said, he could hear the sadness in his voice as his heart broke when Niall nodded again.

“I’m really glad mate. She’s a wonderful person.” Harry said forcing a smile. “I told her to call you, so that should come in soon. Let me deal with the voicemail stuff.” Niall nodded again as Harry left he room. 

His heart was shattering; he had a woman in the next room over, one that he was supposed to love. They hadn’t exchanged “I love you’s” in a long, long time. Come to think of it, Harry was always the first to say it. Sometimes he would say it just so that he could hear it back, and even then Kelly didn’t always gratify him with the response he wanted or needed. Anna’s words had dropped so effortlessly to him. She really meant it. Harry wondered how it sounded when she said it to Niall. What did she emphasize? I? Love? You? Harry wanted to hear those words drop from her lips to him, meaning the full weight of what he wanted it to mean: that she was his, only his, that she was completely in love with him, a part of him, a part of his heart. Instead, a world away, she already owned a part of him that she didn’t even know about. Harry would do anything for her, fly to her, cry with her, hold her, laugh with her, whatever she needed, Harry would provide it to her, all she needed to do was ask. And she was asking. She was asking Niall. That’s whom she gave her heart to. That’s who was holding it. Every thought running through Harry’s mind was another splinter, another piece of him chipped off. This started as lust, as an infatuation with her, but soon, she was part of his every waking moment, not just his dreams. When he sang, he imagined singing her, not to the crowd, not to anyone else, but to her. He wanted to be the best for her, but how could he be, when Niall was already there. Sheltering her, taking care of her.

Harry had let her be hurt too many times by Kelly, blind to the fact that she was doing damage, not wanting to see that he’d made the wrong choice again, and the right choice was already out of his reach. Harry was the one that hurt her, by constantly wanting to be there, to hold her, to reach her, but chained to Kelly’s poisonous grip, that always seemed to seep through his every action. Kelly’s grasp on him was deep and destructive, while he looked to Anna, the light to destroy the toxic hold Kelly had on him. She’d tried, she’d tried so many times but Harry blocked her off, why? Why would he do that? So blinded by lust for Kelly, knowing what she did for him, that he couldn’t see clearly. Now Niall, one of his best friends, one of his brothers, had the beauty, the innocence, the light, and Harry was jealous. He wanted to be happy for him but all he felt was pain. The pain of knowing freedom was out of his clutch. The pain of knowing what he had let slip by him. The pain of loss of something that was never even his. Harry thoughts moved so quickly they were making him dizzy. There had to be some way around this. There had to be a solution. He would be her friend. He would be her rock, if nothing else then to see a shred of light for her to block the malicious night of Kelly. What to do about Kelly? Harry was lost. He was lost and he would continue to look towards Anna for an answer because she loved him, she would want to help him. She loved him.

—

Anna forwarded the voicemail to Harry not bothering to listen to it again. Staring at her phone, she knew that she should call Niall. She knew that she should talk to him. Harry had assured her that everything was ok between them, but she couldn’t be the cause of the band breaking up. Breathing heavily she clicked on Niall’s face and waiting while it rang.

“Anna?” Niall’s voice was small, nothing at all what she was used to.

“I love you Niall.” Anna said immediately, she couldn’t help herself; he needed to know how she felt about it.

“I love you Anna.” She heard him breathe a sigh of relief. “So much.”

“I miss you so much.” Anna said and everything she needed to say to him was caught up in those words. “I just can’t tear the band apart. It can’t fall apart because of me. I need you to know that. No matter how much I love you, how much I miss you. I can’t be the reason.”

“I know baby. I know. You aren’t. I promise you aren’t. I won’t ever let that happen.” Niall replied earnestly.

“But it did.” Anna’s voice was a shadow of her usual confident self.

“No baby. That wasn’t you. Honey, please don’t ever think that. You take the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Niall’s voice was soft. Anna closed her eyes memorizing his words.

“I sent the voicemail to Harry.” Anna admitted.

“Good. I’m glad. He said he’s going to sort it out.” Niall replied.

“There’s nothing to sort out.” Anna shrugged. She missed Niall so much it hurt.

“There is. You know that I would never cheat on you?” Niall asked his voice quavering with anticipation of her answer.

“I know Niall. There was just something different about this time. A feeling I couldn’t shake.” Anna confessed, ashamed of herself.

“I love you Anna. Only you. I never want to ruin that.” Niall replied seriously.

“I know you do.” Anna smiled. “Can we talk about something fun?” Anna asked after a heavy sigh, she’d had enough of the serious discussions to last a lifetime.

“Sure thing.” Niall laughed lightly, “But you need to promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Please call Lou, she’s going insane without talking to you.”


	12. Bullies and Blood

Harry listened to the voicemail three times. Stunned that Kelly would do something like that, before he went back to the hotel room. Opening the door quietly he could hear Kelly talking to someone on the phone. Trying to be as silent as possible he snuck into the room undetected.

“Yes, yes that’s right.” He heard Kelly say before a long pause.

“No we leave at 10pm, so you’ll need the crew set up a long time before that.” Harry tried to get closer to hear more.

“Well, Niall with the woman scandal didn’t blow up as much as I wanted it too.” Harry’s jaw dropped.

“Yes well, you know that Harry will always top him, so maybe another broken up rumor. Then we can come out and people will see how in love we are.” Harry shook his head, Kelly couldn’t be talking to a reporter, surely she wasn’t that vindictive

“No I don’t want another pregnancy story, I don’t want people to think I’m fat.” Kelly laughed sourly with another long pause.

“No I don’t want to do a naked photo release. Not unless Harry does something stupid like run after that fat bitch after all this drama with Niall.” Harry’s heart sunk to the floor. Kelly. The woman he thought that he loved. She was doing all this. She was creating the rumors. She was the one breaking up the band. Kelly laughed loudly interrupting his thoughts.

“No I think leave that for next week. Harry going solo. Wait, maybe a cheating scandal. Do you have any old pictures with him and Taylor?” Harry didn’t know how much more he could hear.

“No, ok. I’ll try and get something. But just do the on the rocks story release and then let everyone know when we are leaving.” Kelly started to wrap up the conversation and Harry made his way back to the door to make it look like he was just entering.

“Ok. I love you Benny. Seriously. This is going to be great.” Kelly said before hanging up and Harry quickly opened and shut the door behind him loudly.

“Babe?” Kelly called out as he walked in.

“Hey Kel.” Harry said brightly, acting as if nothing was wrong.

“You ok?” Kelly asked cautiously, his mood certainly different from what it had been in the past couple of week.

“Fine Love. Just working out who is important in my life and who is not. Just came to the conclusion about a lot of this.” Harry smiled widely, his eyes tight.

“And where do I sit on that scale?” Kelly asked slyly, standing up from the bed and putting her arms around his neck.

“I think you know that already.” Harry answered pulling her arms off him and walking into the bathroom so that he could breathe.

—

For some reason Tuesday’s were always the hardest on Anna. Monday’s were easy, they flew by, but Tuesday’s were awful. The children didn’t want to work. They were tired, they cried, the yelled, they ran around, they threw things at each other and it was all because it was a Tuesday. After the past couple of weekends Anna didn’t know if she could handle Tuesday. She was on playground duty and the children were mental. She could hear them laughing and screaming and occasionally crying.

“Miss Brent!” Anna turned quickly at her name being called in distress.

“Miss Brent!” She saw one of the fifth graders sprinting towards her, his cheeks flushed with exertion.

“Adam, what’s wrong.” She asked carefully.

“Come quick!” he said grabbing her hand and pulling her along. Anna could hear the yells of other children around her as she walked quickly with Andrew.

“Andrew, what’s wrong?” She repeated urgently.

“Two kids, in a fight.” He said pulling her along. Anna sped up her walking, almost running when she saw the circle of kids.

“Move.” She bellowed and they flinched out of the way scattering away from the scene.

Two larger children had a smaller brown hair boy on the ground and were kicking him mercilessly. They hadn’t heard Anna’s approached and yelled when she pulled them backwards by their shirts with incredible strength.

“Enough.” She roared and their balled up fists immediately fell to their sides.

“Principles office, NOW.” Her voice thundered and the playground fell silent. The two boys left immediately, one of them beginning to cry.

“Andrew, make sure they go.” She said kindly to the child that had brought her to the fight. He nodded seriously once and followed them from a distance.

Bending down carefully she swallowed the lump in her throat as she saw one of her students from the previous year lying still on the ground.

“Jacob.” She said quietly, hoping not to startle him. She could see that he was breathing, but he wasn’t moving.

“Honey, it’s Miss Brent. I’m right here.” She said cautiously reaching out her hand slowly to touch him lightly on the shoulder. He flinched at the contact. Looking up, Anna saw a crowd of hushed students watching her. Recognizing one of the sixth graders that came to read to her class she called her over.

“Mona, can you please get someone from the office to come down?” She asked before the girl nodded and ran away.

“Everybody clear out.” Her voice rang out loudly around the hushed students and they whispered fervently as they ran in opposite directions.

“Jacob. I’m going to help you sit up, but you need to tell me what hurts ok. I don’t want to hurt you.” Anna said carefully, blinking away a tear that was forming in her eye. She could see bruises forming on his skin as well as blood on the part of his cheek she could see. His hands were held over his head in protection.

“Ok, on the count of three.” Anna said quietly placing her hand on his shoulder again, he didn’t flinch away this time.

“You can count with me if you like. You are so good at counting.” She said smiling at him. His hands slowly moved away from his face and Anna swallowed her gasp as she saw his swollen features.

“OK, one, two, three.” Anna’s voice broke as she heard him croak out “three” as she helped him sit up. His nose was bleeding profusely and there was a large cut above and below his left eye.

“Jacob, sweetheart.” She said softly, “Can you tell me if you legs or your arms hurts.” Jacob let out a sob as he shook his head.

“Nothing feels broken?” Anna asked before he shook his head.

“Ok love. We are going to stand up and we are going to go to the sick bay together. Would you like me to take your hand?” Anna was furious at the older boys. Jacob nodded shyly his nose still bleeding as he took Anna’s hand and tried to stand. His foot gave out from underneath him as he stood and Anna’s reflexes caught him as his fell and let out a yelp of pain.

“OK, that ones a bit sore. I might just carry you ok?” Anna asked rubbing his back softly in comfort. Using strength she didn’t know she had, most fueled by anger, Anna picked up the small boy and carried him. Jacob turned his face into Anna’s chest and sobbed wrapping his arms tightly around her neck. Anna’s heart broke for the poor little boy as she carried him.

—

Entering the sickbay Anna tried to rest him on one of the couches for one of the school nurses to look over him but he refused to let go of her neck.

“I’m not going anywhere Jacob. I’m right here, but I need you to let go so we can see what we can do.” Anna whispered to him stroking his hair carefully. She had no idea how badly or where he was hurt and she didn’t want to cause any more pain. Reluctantly Jacob let go of her neck and Anna sat him carefully on her lap. She’d need to go to the office to deal with the boys.

“Clarice.” Anna said to the nurse who was clicking her tongue as she looked over Jacob injuries. “Is the phone cord long enough that I can call the office from here?” Clarice nodded as she fetched the sickbay phone. Anna kept one arm around Jacob as he held her hand and using the other she dialed the office.

—

Jacob squealed in pain as Clarice started to clean up his wounds.

“Hi Jackie, it’s Anna, I’m at the sick bay, need to speak with John.” Anna said quickly to John’s assistant. Anna rubbed her thumb on the back of Jacob’s hand as he squirmed in pain.

“John. Hi. I’m just at the sick bay. I’ve sent you two boys. They were…” Anna paused thinking how she would say this with the sobbing child in her arms. “They were bullying a younger student that I have with me. I’ll need to come up and explain the situation once he’s been cleaned up.”

“Cleaned up?” John interrupted her.

“Yes.” Anna answered shortly. “We’ll need to call his parents. But I need him to come up with me.” John caught what Anna was saying and reassured her that he would send someone to cover her class as the bell rang.

“Thank you John. I will be with your shortly.” Anna said before hanging up the phone and wrapping both her arms around Jacob.

—

Clarice finished cleaning what she could of Jacob’s injuries, strapping his ankle saying that it may have been sprained in the fall, but it was not broken. Anna looked as though she’d been in a fight herself as her white blouse was covered in Jacob’s blood.

“Come on sweetheart, we have to go to the office.” Anna said preparing to help Jacob walk.

“Am I going to get in trouble?” Jacob wailed petrified.

“No Jacob. We just need to tell Mr. Williams what happened.” Anna answered bending down to talk to him.

“But…. But I ruined your shirt.” Jacob’s lip trembled.

“I have a hundred shirts Jacob. It’s ok.” Anna smiled kindly at him, carefully wiping away one of his tears.

—

“I’m sorry Miss Brent.” Jacob sobbed as she walked slowly with him to the office.

“Sweetheart, you have no reason to be sorry.” Anna answered.

“But it was such a pretty shirt and I wrecked it.” Jacob cried as his hobbled along with her.

“You have to promise me, you’ll be honest with Mr. Williams when we talk to him about what happened.” Anna said carefully. Jacob nodded as they entered the office. Anna heard Jackie gasp behind the counter as Anna knocked on the principles’ door. She saw the two older students looking guilty, one of them crying as she entered the room.

“An- Miss Brent.” John Williams said looking up from his desk, his smile falling as he saw Jacob following her in. Anna sat opposite John with a tight smile while Jacob climbed onto her lap.

“Jacob, would you like to tell me what happened?” John asked kindly as Jacob began to cry again.

—

Anna saw John’s eyes widen with anger as Jacob explained what had happened.

“You’ve been so brave Jacob, but I need to talk to Miss Brent alone now.” John said quietly folding his hands in front of him. Jacob shook his head violently.

“Don’t want to be alone” He mumbled, gripping Anna’s hand quietly.

“Would you like to wait with Mrs. Ripple? She’s very lovely.” John said quietly standing up and holding out his hand for Jacob to take.

“I’ll be out soon.” Anna assured him nodding as John opened the door and led Jacob out before returning quickly and shutting the door carefully. Sitting back down at his desk John rested his head in his hands.

“What happened?” He asked tiredly.

Anna sighed and explained what she’d seen while John listened patiently, rubbing his eyebrows in stress.

—

“Have you spoken with the boys yet?” Anna asked after she’d finished explaining what she saw.

“Not yet.” John shook his head. “I needed to talk to you first. Thank God you were there Anna.”

Anna sighed heavily. “What’s our next step?”

“I’ve called Jacob’s mother. I haven’t called the boys parents yet. I’ll need to talk to them to see their side of the story, regardless they’ll be suspended at the very least. I don’t know how long for. It also depends on what Jacob’s mother says about the situation.” John replied tiredly. “Honestly, why do children do this kind of thing?”

“I don’t know.” Anna shook her head, her bottom lip quivering.

“Are you ok Anna?” John asked kindly. Anna shook her head again a tear leaking from her eye.

“I thought he was dead John. He wasn’t moving. I've never seen anything like it.” Anna replied feeling the stress of the events overtake her.

“You did the right thing Anna.” John comforted standing up from his desk and sitting next to her. Anna nodded biting her lip.

John’s phone rang making them both jump. It was Jackie letting them know that Jacob’s mother had arrived.

“I’ll talk to her briefly about what happened before I talk to the other boys, can you stay with her?” John asked urgently.

Anna nodded wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath.

“You’re a good teacher Anna.” John said gripping her shoulder tightly for a moment before opening the door to a pale mother clutching her sobbing child against her chest.

—

Anna slumped against the headboard of her bed exhausted from the day wanting to collapse in tears, scream in anger and sleep forever. Her phone buzzed making her jump in fright.

“Hey Niall.” She answered heavily as she sat back again.

“Not Niall, Louis!” Louis answered brightly.

“Oh hey Louis.” Anna smiled, happy to hear his voice.

“Whatcha doin?” He asked happily.

“Just got home. I’m sitting on my bed contemplating life.” Anna answered staring at her ceiling.

“What is life telling you?” Louis asked curiously.

“Life is telling me that people are shitty and I don’t know why I exist.” Anna replied sighing heavily.

“Life of the party you are.” Louis laughed. “Come on love, tell me what’s going on.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it. Why are you calling me on Niall’s phone?” Anna asked shaking her head.

“Lost my phone.” Louis laughed.

“Again?” Anna laughed as well.

“Shush you.”

“Why are you calling me?” Anna asked curiously.

“I’m not allowed to call you?” He asked in mock hurt.

“You’re more than welcome too. It’s just that… you… don’t call me.” Anna said slowly.

“I call you!” Louis defended making Anna laugh loudly. “Well actually I was calling you because I was thinking of a surprise.” Louis said seriously.

“What kind of surprise?” Anna asked cautiously.

“You. You’re the surprise.” Louis answered confidently.

“I’m the surprise?” Anna laughed.

“Ok shut up a minute and let me explain.” Louis interrupted her making her laugh again. “I was thinking. How great would it be if you came here and surprised Niall! He’s been absolutely miserable and I’m sick of it.”

“So this is a self serving mission?” Anna smiled.

“Kind of. But, I’m being romantic.” Louis scolded her.

“You suck so much Louis.” Anna chuckled her heart feeling light after the terrible day.

“I know. Shush. Gosh how does Niall put up with you?” He asked sarcastically. “We are going to be in Los Angeles in a month for a few interviews, we are there for three days, Monday to Wednesday with interviews, then hanging around for a few more. What do you think?”

“What do you mean ‘What do I think’?” Anna asked.

“You coming to LA?” Louis said excitedly.

“Louis….” Anna rubbed her forehead.

“I’ll pay. Come on Anna. It will be so much fun!”

“What days do you want me to come?” Anna asked sighing heavily.

“Geez don’t make it sound like such a chore. Fly out on Thursday after school and home on Sunday. Simple.” Louis replied, his voice lowering.

“Why’d you go all quiet?”

“I think Niall’s looking for his phone.” Louis whispered making Anna laugh loudly.

“Ok, yes. I’ll come. I’ll get the time off from school.” Anna said after she stopped laughing.

“Excellent! Ok, I’ll get a new phone and call you later. This is going to be the greatest Anna!” Louis said excitedly.

“Hope so!” Anna replied happily.

“Talk soon.” Louis said quietly before hanging up, leaving Anna with her thoughts buzzing.


	13. Surprise

“I haven’t spoken to you in forever.” Niall whined at his computer as Anna ate her dinner.

“Sorry bub, I know it’s been a while. I’ve just been working a lot.” Anna grinned with a mouth full of mashed potato.

“Tell me about work.” Niall nagged as he watched her eat. She hadn’t told him about the bullying incident yet. She didn’t know why. She wasn’t sure if she was meant to keep it confidential or not. The boys had been sent to the education board to discuss their punishment. Jacob had missed over a week of school and his mother had called Anna to tell him that he was too scared to leave the house. Anna was going to go to their house tomorrow afternoon to try and talk to him with the principles’ permission, his mother was thinking of sending him to a psychiatrist.

“Let me eat. You tell me about tour.” Anna said distracting him.

“Feels so weird that you are eating dinner when I’ve just had breakfast.” Niall wondered aloud.

“You could have waited for breakfast and we could have had a meal together.” Anna smiled at him.

“I miss your smile.” Niall said smiling sadly.

“Don’t turn this all serious. Tell me about tour so I can eat.” Anna badgered again making Niall laugh.

—

“And so, Harry’s been acting really weird for the past couple of weeks.” Niall finished, all the travel was making Anna jealous but she couldn’t wait to see his face when she surprised him.

“What do you mean he’s been acting weird?” Anna asked as she washed up her dishes.

“Like… I don’t know. Like Harry I guess. That’s weird isn’t it? He’s been acting like normal Harry. Happy or something, he’s making stupid puns again. He definitely isn’t bringing Kelly around the group anymore. You hardly even know she’s on tour. She just pops up occasionally and scares the daylights out of ya.” Niall laughed.

“Maybe something’s going on with them.” Anna sighed.

“Maybe. There’s been a lot of break up rumors about them lately, and then there was something like… a pregnancy or something. No it wasn’t that.” Niall corrected himself, “It was that Harry was cheating on her or something. Apparently there have been text messages between him and another girl. No proof. But that’s what they are saying.” Niall shrugged.

“I text him. Is it me?” Anna laughed.

“Are you sending him nudes?” Niall grinned.

“Of you? Yes.” Anna said seriously making Niall laugh.

“Louis has been acting a bit weird too come to think of it?” Niall said after a brief pause.

“How so?” Anna asked lightly, her stomach dropping.

“I don’t know, to be honest. He just… keeps smiling at me like an idiot.” Niall pondered.

“Maybe he’s got a crush on you?” Anna suggested her stomach regaining its natural position.

“Maybe.” Niall smirked.

“It could be that Harry’s showing him all the nudes of you I’ve sent him.” Anna laughed.

“That’s definitely what it is then. See, this is why I need you around permanently. You’re the voice of logic in all these crazy people.” Niall sighed.

—

“Can I ask why you are listening to all these rumors about Harry and Kelly?” Anna asked after a while.

“It’s hard to miss them to be honest. Feels like they are surrounding the entire band at the moment.” Niall huffed. “Whenever we do see Kelly she’s screaming about something else the media’s been sayin’ about her.”

Anna nodded; she knew what Kelly was like. Any news about her and Kelly would know about it and flaunt it.

“The weirdest thing is Harry with all these things though. You remember how he used jump up and comfort her and they’d go do the deed and everything would be fine.” Anna nodded laughing while Niall continued. “Now he just laughs, or tells her she’s insane or just ignores her. It’s the strangest thing.”

“He ignores her?” Anna asked surprised.

“Yeah. I know.” Niall replied adamantly. “It’s so weird.”

“Hmm.” Anna hummed. “Maybe he’s worked out that she’s not very nice.”

“Not very nice is a very nice way of putting it.” Niall chuckled.

“I’m a delight. What can I say?” Anna shrugged smirking at him.

—

“Look I have some work I need to do tonight before I go to bed. So I’ll talk to you later yeah?” Anna yawned heavily.

“I can just sit here and watch you work.” Niall suggested, he was sitting out on the balcony of the hotel room shirtless soaking up the sun.

“That doesn’t sound creepy at all.” Anna replied sarcastically.

“It will be like I’m just spending time with you.” Niall said happily.

“Not creepy at all.” Anna hummed grinning at him.

“Ok fine.” Niall held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll just be out here in the sun, getting gloriously tanned…”

“Gloriously pink.” Anna interrupted laughing at him.

“And you just stay in your house, where it’s probably raining…” Niall continued as if there was no reaction.

“It’s going to be rainy here whether you are talking with me or not.” Anna sniggered.

“I could tan you through the video camera.” Niall offered.

“I don’t think that’s how that works.” Anna snorted.

“I’m pretty sure it does.” Niall corrected.

“Shut up you idiot. I’m going. Be safe and I’ll talk to you soon.” Anna shook her head at him.

“I love you.” Niall said seriously.

“I love you too.” Anna smiled at him before ending the call and closing her laptop. She had work to do, but bed and sleep seemed like such a better idea.

— 

“Stop talking to Niall.” Louis hissed into the phone.

“Louis if I stop talking to him, he’ll know something’s up.” Anna sighed cradling the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she hung out her washing.

“Just… talk to him less then.” Louis suggested.

“You are actually the worst.” Anna laughed.

“I want it to be really surprising.” Louis argued.

“It will, just let it happen.” Anna smiled.

“You got all the information, the tickets and everything?” Louis checked again.

“Yes. Stop asking.” Anna scolded.

“Ok. Just don’t miss your flight.”

“Louis!” Anna groaned.

“Ok. Ok. I get it.” Louis paused. “One week though.” He said excitedly.

“I know.” Anna sighed happily.

“Shh, Niall’s coming.” Louis whispered suddenly.

“Louis, he can’t see me.” Anna laughed loudly.

“He’ll know!” Louis said his voice hushed.

Anna continued to laugh while Louis commentated Niall’s movements around the green room.

“He’s getting water, he’s drinking it.” Louis paused, “He’s still drinking, is he a camel? Jesus. How dehydrated is he? I think he’s leaving. No, he’s walking this way. Abort! Abort!” Louis hissed into the phone before hanging up. Anna giggled as she locked her phone and finished hanging out her washing.

—

“Plans have changed.” Anna looked at the message Louis had just sent her.

“What do you mean they’ve changed?” She wrote back quickly.

“I meant that the stupid knobs that plan our meetings booked us one for Friday morning.” Louis replied instantly. Anna was about to text back when a new message followed.

“But it’s even better this way.”

“Explain to me how this is better?” Anna replied her eyebrows scrunching as she looked at her phone.

“Because now you can surprise everyone right after the interview. You can wait in the green room or something.” Louis’ message was wrought with spelling mistakes as he tried to type quickly. “You land in the morning. It’s perfect.” He added.

“Ok…” Anna answered, still a little unsure.

“Stop worrying. I’ll tell Lou to pick you up and you can both be in there. It’s perfect.” Louis said attaching four smiley faces at the end.

“I’m about to board, you scared the shit out of me.” Anna typed back quickly.

“Be more adventurous Anna!” She could completely hear him scolding her.

“Say something like, ‘The eagle is on the move.’ Something fun.” Louis sent.

“See you when I land knob head.” Anna replied one final time before lining up to board her plane to LA, in less then 10 hours she would be able to hug Niall.

—

Anna managed to sleep on the plane even if it wasn’t Business Class like Niall had flown her. She had adamantly refused Louis when he offered it to her. Having slept she had almost adjusted to the LA time difference. Lou was crying when Anna exited the plane, so excited to see her friend again. Anna text Louis quickly;

“The Eagle has landed.”

He replied with five smileys, so she knew that he was pleased.

“I’m so excited for Niall to see you!” Lou gushed as she weaved in and out of the traffic carefully. “He’s been a right mess without you about. And with all that drama that while back. I’ve never seen him so gutted.” Lou spoke nonstop on the way to the studio, parking around the back.

“He’s going to lose his shit when he sees you. I can’t believe Louis planned all this.”

Anna had hardly got a word in; Lou was clearly starved for willing communication partners.

“Green rooms this way. I think they finish up soon. Was worried I wasn’t going to get you back in time.” Lou said as she opened the door. Anna walked through smiling and froze in her tracks her jaw dropping.

—

The interviewer continued to talk, Louis only half listening. He wanted this to be over, he was aware of his knee bouncing nervously, unable to contain it. He hoped Lou had made it back in time. This had to be the greatest thing he’d ever done for one of his mates. Truth is, they were all starting to miss Anna. She brought a positivity that was hard to replicate. They’d also been on the road for a long time and they needed new people to keep it interesting so that they didn’t tear each other’s heads off. Anna would be a welcome face.

“You right Lou?” Harry mumbled under his breath as they went to a commercial break. Louis nodded back excitedly. They just had to sing a song and they would be out of here.

“You are literally moving the whole couch.” Niall snickered.

“Don’t sit on top of me next time.” Louis smirked at him.

“Right lads, we’ll get you over to the stage for when we come back.” One of the assistants directed and Louis basically jumped off the couch and went to his position.

“You know what’s gotten into him?” Harry asked Niall as he walked slowly over to the stage.

“No idea.” Niall replied shrugging. He just wanted to go to the hotel and get into bed, maybe call Anna, but she’d be asleep by now. Sighing Niall picked up his microphone.

—

Anna could hear the boys singing one of their songs as it echoed through the walls as she and Lou stared at the scene in front of this.

“Holy shit.” Anna gasped while she heard Lou’s muffled curse.

Anna and Lou stared at a half naked Kelly straddling and riding someone that was definitely not Harry. Messy blonde hair was beneath her and tanned arms were running up her body. Kelly looked up at the sound.

“FUCK!” She screamed slamming her body against the unidentified male trying to cover herself. Anna’s mind was blank; there was a ringing in her ears, white noise. She looked back and forth between Lou, Kelly and the male who was now trying to push her off him. He looked distinctly like Niall but Anna couldn’t tell from this angle.  
“GET OUT!” Kelly screamed covering her body and picking up her clothing. Anna and Lou bumped into each other in their haste to get out the door. It would have been hilarious if not so horrifying.

“Did we…” Lou trailed off hearing commotion behind the door.

“I think…” Anna couldn’t answer. Suddenly the boys came round the corner. Louis eyes widening with terror after his masterful plan was about to be ruined by the two ladies not being where they should be. Harry’s jaw dropped as he saw Anna standing in front of them looking as gorgeous as ever. Tears immediately sprung to Niall’s eyes as he saw her, pushing the other boys out of the way to get to her.

“Anna?” His voice broke, as he got closer.

Anna looked at Lou worriedly for half a second before squeaking out “Surprise!”

The boys surrounded Anna and Lou as they hugged and yelled their greetings to Anna.

“Let’s take this into the green room.” Louis yelled above the noise.

“NO!” Lou and Anna screamed at the same time, making everyone fall silent.

“Um. I think that… urgh… um…” Lou stuttered trying to think of any reason to not go in there.

“She’s right.” Anna nodded.

“She didn’t say anything.” Harry said confused smiling at them both.

“She did. You missed it.” Anna replied quickly she could feel the blush on her cheeks.

“This is amazing. How did you…?” Niall hadn’t let go of Anna since he’d seen her, wanting to keep one part of him connected to her permanently.

“Louis.” Anna answered brightly smiling at him. Louis blushed a deep shade of red.

“Louis, you did this?” Harry asked surprised.

“You’ve been so miserable Niall. You need to be happy again.” He said quietly.

“Louis, you’re blushing!” Lou pointed out loudly pointing at him.

“Shut up everyone.” Louis said grinning proudly.

Niall was speechless. “Mate I can’t thank you enough.” Giving him a one armed hug, Niall kept his fingers laced with Anna’s.

“It’s nothing.” Louis shrugged continuing to grin.

“Should we… erm… go in now.” Zayn asked quietly pointing to the door behind Anna and Lou.

“Ahh….” They both sighed looking at each other frantically before the door swung open behind them.

“What on earth are you all doing in the hallway?” Kelly snapped making both Anna and Lou jump around in fright.

“Anna’s here.” Harry said excitedly smiling between Anna and Lou. He was smiling so widely his dimples were set deep into his cheeks.

“I see that. Doesn’t explain why you’re all standing in the hallway.” Kelly snapped turning quickly on her heel and entering the room again.

Lou gave Anna a pointed look, which she returned when they entered the room. Everything was in place, Kelly not a hair out of place on her head, mystery man, nowhere to be seen. Had they imagined it? Kelly’s flushed cheeks said otherwise.

Niall started to pull Anna to the couch that she had just seen Kelly on and she spun in his arms making him hug her, which he readily agreed too. There was a low hum in the room as everyone started making their own conversations.

—

Anna could feel Kelly’s eyes spitting fire at the back of her head as Niall kissed her.

“Would you two get a room?” Kelly yelled obnoxiously.

“I think…” Lou started before Anna interrupted.

“NIALL, I’m starving.” She half yelled. “Lou, lunch? Anyone? Lunch?” Anna looked around desperately.

“I’m always up for food.” Niall replied happily and completely oblivious to Anna’s distress.

“What do you think Kel, should we go?” Harry asked smiling brightly at Anna.

“No room in the car!” Anna burst out desperately, earning her a few strange looks.

“We can take separate cars.” Harry reasoned as Anna panicked.

“Yeah… yeah we could… but doesn’t that seem annoying.” Anna said wildly. The last thing she wanted was to look Kelly in the eye and have a meal with her.

“Lou, Niall, let’s get out of here. Bye everyone.” Anna said quickly pulling on Niall’s hand.

“Wait, I want to come.” Louis said standing up and sounding hurt.

“M too.” Liam said happily.

Anna was defeated. So they left the studio as Anna and Lou prepared for the most awkward meal of their lives.

—

“Think I’m going to have a burger.” Niall announced as he looked over his menu. They were sitting at a round table. Everyone was there. Anna was between Niall and Lou, Kelly and Harry sat opposite with Louis and Liam on either side. Anna watched as Kelly draped herself over Harry.

“Babe?” Niall called loudly making everyone at the table look at them both.

“Hmm?” Anna asked turning her attention to him.

“Really zoned out there huh?” Niall laughed putting his arm around her shoulders.

 

“Yeah, must be jet lag.” Anna said quietly laughing nervously.

“It’s an eleven hour flight.” Niall laughed louder, everyone was watching them.

“Sorry. My mind’s elsewhere.” Anna apologized, extremely aware of Kelly staring daggers at her and Lou.

“I asked what you were going to have.” Niall repeated smiling warmly at her. She wanted to be giving Niall her full attention but she was continually drawn into watching Kelly and Harry. She was watching Kelly kiss up and down his neck. Bit rich of her to say for Anna and Niall to get a room when they were in a private room, when she and Harry were in the middle of a restaurant.

“I think I’ve just lost my appetite.” Anna muttered under her breath not expecting anyone to hear her. Lou and Niall apparently both did as Lou scoffed into her drink and Niall cackled with laughter. The noise broke Harry and Kelly apart, Harry blushing slightly and Kelly looking annoyed.

“You know what. I’m going to the bathroom.” Anna announced, placing the napkin from her lap onto the table.

“Kiss first.” Niall said sweetly. Anna smiled and kissed him quickly. She heard the noise of disgust from Kelly from across the table so Anna leaned down further and deepened the kiss. Niall was only too happy to comply. Pulling back, Anna stood up quickly and left the table, aware of everyone watching her walk.

—

Washing her hands and staring at her tired reflection Anna lightly splashed some water on the back of her neck, giving herself some time to think. Was she meant to tell Harry? Was she meant to stay silent? Should she tell Niall? She just wanted to enjoy this weekend with Niall. She didn’t want to have drama. Of course drama followed Kelly around the world. Anna just didn’t expect to be diving head first into it. Sighing Anna looked back at her reflection and nearly screamed in fright as she saw Kelly standing behind her.

“Holy shit Kelly. Scared the life out of me.” Anna breathed clutching her chest with her heart beating erratically, for more reasons then being surprised.

“Hmm.” Kelly hummed grimacing.

Anna stood in awkward silence before deciding Kelly wasn’t going to do anything but stand behind her sourly.

“Well…” Anna said grabbing some paper towel and drying her hands.

“You aren’t going to say anything to Harry about what you saw.” Kelly said suddenly.

“Why’s that?” Anna sighed turning around to face her.

“Because it would crush him.” Kelly replied confidently.

“He’ll get over it.” Anna rubbed her forehead.

“I’ll destroy him.” Kelly’s voice turned threatening.

“You’ll destroy him?” Anna scoffed.

“You know I can.” Kelly said smugly.

“Kelly.” Anna sighed exhausted. Was it even worth having this conversation? “Kelly,” she repeated, “You are literally where you are right now, because of Harry. You can’t destroy him, and I honestly don’t think that you are that much of a bitch to attack Harry who has given you everything.” Kelly started to interrupt but Anna held up her hand silencing her. “I’m not done. Granted you are a bitch Kelly. You are, plain and simple. But you wouldn’t do anything to Harry.” Anna finished.

“Then I will take you down with me.” Kelly said taking a step toward Anna.

“Kelly. I don’t know what kind of power you think you have over me, but you have nothing. Nothing to hold over me.” Anna replied exasperated.

“Niall.” Kelly said raising her eyebrow at Anna.

“You know what. Go ahead. You seduce him. You tell him all the lies you want. I just don’t care. I really don’t. Say whatever you want about me, even talk to Harry and turn him away from me. I just don’t care. As long as I don’t have to deal with you anymore I’ll be thrilled.” Anna threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “So go ahead, say what you want. I’m done with whatever this game is you’re playing.” Anna said shaking her head.

“You have no idea what I am capable of.” Kelly growled.

“Tell Harry the truth Kelly. I wonder if you are capable of that.” Anna said before leaving her in the bathroom.

—

“You ok?” Niall asked as Anna sat back down at the table.

“Completely fine.” Anna said brightly as Kelly sat across from them glaring in her direction.

“Was worried, you were gone a while.” Niall replied still concerned.

“I am completely fine.” Anna said a bit louder, “Happy to spend the weekend with my girl,” Anna inclined her head to Lou who grinned widely, “my boys,” Anna smiled around the table, “and my man.” She finished looking a Niall and kissing him again.

“I have no idea what’s gotten into you, but I love it.” Niall beamed at her.

“And I love you!” Anna said loudly causing a few hums of admiration.

“You are very affectionate.” Niall grinned.

“I haven’t seen you in ages, we nearly broke up and I surprised you in another country. I think I have the right to be affectionate.” Anna replied.

“Right you are.” Niall laughed before kissing her once more.

—

“I think that we should head back to the hotel.” Anna said lowly to Niall.

“Why’s that?” Niall asked patting his very full stomach.

“Do you really have to ask?” Anna chuckled raising her eyebrows at him. Niall clicked and stood up from the table quickly rattling the plates.

“We’re off.” He said loudly.

“So soon?” Harry half pouted.

“Yeah, we have matters to attend to.” Niall grinned wickedly.

“Do you now?” Louis winked.

“Way to be subtle Niall.” Anna laughed standing up from the table and taking his hand.

“King of subtlety.” Niall said proudly wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close.

“Urgh would you two get a room.” Kelly groaned.

“We’re about too.” Anna replied staring her down while the boys hooted with laughter at the table.

“Can we go out tonight?” Lou piped up.

“Yes!” Anna agreed looking at Niall for confirmation.

“Absolutely.” He nodded, “But for right now…” He winked at Anna before pulling her out of the restaurant, her laugh echoing through the building as they left.

—

“Urgh, can you believe them?” Kelly grumbled as Anna and Niall ran out of the restaurant.

“It’s sweet.” Lou defended, her eyes narrowing at Kelly.

“Can you really blame them though?” Louis laughed.

“What do you mean?” Kelly said bitterly.

“Um, you’ve seen Anna right. She’s gorgeous. If I could have some of that…” Louis trailed off sighing.

“Want to tell us something?” Liam laughed.

“I’m just saying, she’s really good looking.” Louis shrugged. Liam shrugged in agreement.

“What?” He said to the incredulous faces around him. “I can appreciate that she’s hot.”

“Can we all stop talking about Anna like this now?” Lou laughed.

“Don’t pretend like you haven’t thought about it.” Louis poked.

“Shut up knob.” Lou scoffed loudly.

“Can we stop talking about Anna now?” Kelly whined.

“Come on Harry. You know Anna’s attractive right?” Liam prompted. “You are the only one that hasn’t commented.”

“I’m right here.” Kelly said angrily.

“Well then join in Kelly, please do.” Louis laughed.

“Come on Harry.” Lou was giggling, loving stirring him up and loving even more that Kelly was getting angry.

“Yes she’s pretty.” Harry finally sighed smiling.

“Harry!” Kelly screeched. “I don’t need to listen to this.” Kelly sat back in her chair frowning.

“Hands up, who wants to kiss Anna?” Louis asked sarcastically sticking his hands in the air and taking a huge gulp of his drink. He nearly spat it over everyone when Lou raised hers confidently.

“Ok. Next subject.” Lou said when everyone had settled down. “Where are we going tonight?”

—

Niall lay hot and panting on the bed, Anna curled up to his side.

“I bloody missed you. Did I tell ya’?” He said trying to catch his breath.

“I think you just showed me.” Anna giggled her cheeks hot and flushed.

“I can show you again.” Niall said cheekily, surprised with Anna sat up and pressed her naked body against his.

“Can you now?” She said looking at him and biting her bottom lip.

“Baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet.” Niall gathered her up into his arms and rolled so that she was beneath him laughing and wriggling. Silencing her with a kiss they started again.

—

“She’s not picking up her phone.” Harry said frustrated pacing in the hallway. Lou, Harry and Kelly were waiting for Niall and Anna to exit their room so that they could go.

“Can you blame her?” Lou snorted.

“Come on, it’s been all day.” Harry grumbled.

“Who put the pole up your butt?” Lou asked sarcastically.

“No one. I’m just saying, she’s not here for long, I would actually like to spend time with her.” Harry said shaking his head seriously.

Kelly cleared her throat her eyes glaring at Harry. He shrugged it off, about to call Anna again when Anna and Niall emerged from his room laughing loudly. Her cheeks were flushed, as were Niall’s. Harry felt that all too familiar pang of jealousy run through him. It was more apparent now that he was more familiar with who Kelly was behind closed doors. He didn’t feel the attachment or the attraction to her that he once had. He’d started to loathe her, keeping her around was becoming convenient, there was also the part of Harry that wanted to see what her plan was and how it would play out. But he would play the part of doting boyfriend… for now.

“Well hello you two.” Lou interrupted whatever Niall and Anna were laughing at.

“Oh Hello Lou.” Anna said brightly smiling at her, her voice slightly hoarse.

“Been having a nice welcome party?” Lou raised her eyebrows at them.

“It was alright.” Anna shrugged nonchalantly.

“Alright?” Niall shouted incredulously. “Alright?” Anna laughed, it was like warm honey running through Harry’s insides when she laughed, he couldn’t help but smile, even when the stain of jealous was spreading through his gut.

“Bit better than that I guess.” Anna laughed. Harry didn’t miss the way that Niall slapped her butt making her squeal.

“What are we waiting for?” Anna smiled at the small group.

“You apparently.” Kelly rolled her eyes.

“Here I am!” Anna said brightly. “Let’s go!”


	14. The Truth Will Out

Harry had never seen Anna drink so much in his life. Clearly she was out for a good time, or she was trying to forget something. She was even out drinking Lou which Harry had only ever seen her do a few times.

“You are wild!” Lou yelled over the noise of the club.

“Let’s dance!” Anna replied, holding her hand out to Niall.

“In a bit Babe.” He replied. She pouted at him, which Harry thought was one of the sexiest things he’d ever seen.

“You wore me out.” Niall laughed.

“Fine.” She said crossing her arms and pushing forward her cleavage. “Lou will dance with me and you’ll see what you’re missing.” She laughed before grabbing Lou’s hand and waltzing out on the dance floor in front of him.  
Harry could see her laughing and dancing in front of them, occasionally being blocked by people but they would quickly move on. If Harry thought that her pout was sexy, he was nowhere near prepared to watch her dance. She looked so free and innocent, so happy and carefree, dancing her heart out and laughing.

“I don’t need to watch them grind on each other. I’m getting a drink. Harry?” Kelly stood up impatiently waiting for Harry to join her.

“I’m good Kel. You go.” Harry replied glancing at her quickly, his eyes immediately searching for Anna and Lou in the crowd again.

“Urgh.” Kelly growled in annoyance before stomping off.

“Shit she’s gorgeous.” Niall mumbled after Kelly left, Harry hardly heard him. “Look at her dancing. Not a care in the world. To think almost two months ago, we nearly broke up.” He continued shaking his head.

Harry didn’t know what to say, he was mesmerized by the way that Anna moved, her hands pulling her dress up her legs slightly to enable her to be able to move more, one hand moving through her hair.

“Tell you what mate. Between you and me, this doesn’t go anywhere.” Niall said looking at Harry seriously, one eyebrow raised, as if he was questioning if he could trust him. Harry nodded once.

“She was amazing today… The way that that girl knows how to move her body… Fuck. I nearly couldn’t walk. She couldn’t get enough of me and I couldn’t get enough of her.”

Harry didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to hear about Niall being with the girl that he was sure he loved. He didn’t want to hear about how he pleasured her, how she pleasured him, but for some masochistic reason he pushed for more detail. Maybe he could imagine himself there instead of Niall.

“She does this thing…” Niall paused.

“What?” Harry breathed.

“I shouldn’t be saying any of this. She’d kill me.” Niall suddenly looked embarrassed.

“Come on…” Harry laughed lightly trying to change Niall’s serious mood into telling him more.

“Don’t tell anyone.” Niall said seriously before drinking some.

“Not a soul.” Harry crossed his heart, suddenly aware of how heated his skin was.

“She does this thing when she’d giving a blow job. I don’t even know what it is, but every time… every time, I come. I don’t know what it is. I’ll have just finished and she does this one move and I’m gone again.” Niall sighed as Harry felt himself stiffen painfully.

“Does she…” Harry’s voice broke, not entirely sure Niall heard him. He shouldn’t be asking questions.

“She swallows most of the time.” Niall said finishing Harry’s unasked question. “That’s not even the best though. The sex, mate. Mind blowing.” Niall said sighing and finishing his drink. “I need to dance with her.” Niall said suddenly standing up and adjusting himself. Harry stood up, dancing with Anna was always fun, while she was inherently sexy, completely unaware of the fact that lust dripped off her in waves, she was also downright hilarious, pulling out ridiculous moves and stupid faces.

—

Niall wrapped his arms around her front and pressed her back up against him. She instantly started grinding herself on him, the relief on his face immediate. Anna quickly realized that Harry was standing awkwardly so she separated herself from Niall and started her ridiculous moves towards Harry making him laugh hysterically. She twirled and tripped and Harry caught her somehow in a low dip. He swore time slowed down as he started into her eyes, she was laughing uncontrollably. Harry fought the urge to kiss her, instead helping her back to her feet. She stood up, regaining her balance and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, “My Hero.” She said into his ear. She wasn’t making any of tonight easy on him.

“You right?” Niall laughed with Anna safely back in his arms.

“Thirsty.” Anna mouthed motioning a drink.

Niall nodded and held up two fingers and she nodded enthusiastically. Lou held up a finger and indicated going with Niall. Anna nodded and soon it was just Harry and Anna. Harry had no idea where Kelly was and honestly he didn’t care. Anna swept her hair off her neck smiling at him.

“You’re so stiff.” Anna laughed taking a step closer to him. Harry purposefully didn’t look down to where he was incredibly stiff.

“You need to move.” Anna laughed again picking up his hands and swaying.

Harry gawkily moved with her making her laugh again.

Throwing her arms around his neck she leant into him, “Come on, where’s ridiculous Harry? I want him.” Harry gingerly put his hands on her back. Anna pulled back looking at him with a screwed up face. Was he not meant to do that?

“I want YOU…” Anna started to move against him, “TO…” she slid her hand from one of his shoulders down his bicep, forearm and linking their fingers, Harry was kicking himself, for the rush that he was feeling from her touching her, if she was to move any closer to him, surely she would feel the rigidity of his crotch, “DANCE!” Anna finished, posing them like ballroom dancers and making him waltz around the tightly packed floor. Harry started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the music against the style of dance she was trying.

“Dip me!” She yelled at him, her face bright and flushed. Harry dipped and was surprised that he was supporting most of her weight as she kicked into the air.

“Perfect. Spin.” Anna laughed stretching out from him. He remembered this dance; they’d coordinated it late one recording session to one of their songs. One of the bands early ones that made Anna laugh each time she heard it. Harry nodded in memory as he twirled her against him causing her to slam into his chest laughing. Harry wasn’t sure if he could ejaculate just from dancing with her but he might be about to find out. Anna giggled as he started dancing with her, twirling her, dipping her, passing their hands over their head and laughing. Anna couldn’t stop laughing the more of the dance that Harry remembered and Harry felt himself snorting with laughter the more that she laughed. Eventually Niall came back to the floor with drinks and started chuckling as he remembered the dance.

— 

Anna stopped dancing with Harry and downed the drink Niall bought her.

“Slow down!” Lou laughed as she caught up. Anna stuck her tongue out at her.

“I was…” Anna hiccupped, “dancing with Harold.”

“It was wonderful!” Niall applauded while Anna curtsied.

“Come on…” Anna hiccupped again, “curtsey Harold. Where are your…” She hiccupped again, “manners?”

Harry curtsied dramatically causing Anna to jump and clap with laughter. She really was very, very drunk. Harry saw Kelly approaching out of the corner of his eye.

“Didn’t know where you’d gone.” She said, she was clearly very angry with them.

“DANCING!” Anna shouted at her. Kelly sneered at her in response.

“Ok come on Kelly. Get that shit out from under your nose that makes you look so sour all the time and have fun. You know how to do that right?” Anna yelled drunkenly making Lou and Niall erupt into laughter.

“You’re drunk Anna.” Kelly scoffed.

“YEP!” Anna yelled, nothing was getting her down tonight. “Get on my level Kelly! Everyone likes it on my level. You aren’t on my level. Kelly. Kelly. For reals though.”   
Anna put her hand on Kelly’s shoulder. “Get on this level. OH I LOVE THIS SONG!” Anna jumped away and started to dance. Harry laughed with disbelief as she twirled away.

“She’s making an idiot of herself.” Kelly grumbled crossing her arms over her chest. Harry could see several pairs of men’s eyes lustfully watch Anna as she danced.

“She’s having fun Kelly.” Harry disagreed shaking his head at her.

“She looks like a twat.” Kelly stomped her foot indignantly.

“Dance Kelly. Come on.” Harry started to notice that Kelly would stomp her foot when she was jealous. Was she jealous of Anna?

“I’m going home. You dance. I don’t care.” Kelly said rolling her eyes.

“Come on Kel.” Harry groaned, knowing he’d have to leave with her.

“Nope, I’m done of this stupidity. You all need to grow up.” Kelly mocked. “Are you coming?”

“Yes.” Harry sighed. “Let me say goodbye.”

“I’ll be outside.” Kelly rolled her eyes and left him.

Harry turned back to the group, noticing Anna was gone.

“We’re heading off.” Harry yelled to Lou and Niall who were drunkenly slow dancing with each other. “Where’s Anna?”

“Bathroom.” They both yelled back laughing.

“Think we are done too.” Niall said his eyes looking very tired.

“I’ll go find Anna.” Harry nodded starting to move through the crowd to the bathrooms as Niall draped Lou’s arm over his shoulder to help her out of the club.

Harry soon found Anna walking out of the female bathroom; she smiled widely when she saw him.

“Everyone’s heading out.” He said leaning down to her ear, he could faintly smell her apricot shampoo and a dash of her perfume.

“Already?” She replied her breathing washing over his neck making him shiver. Before Harry knew what he was doing he grabbed her jaw between his two large hands and kissed her quickly.

—

“I’m sorry Anna. I don’t…” Harry didn’t know what to say.

Anna laughed uproariously before taking his hand and leading him through the crowd. “You are so drunk.”

The taste of his lips against her lips, she’d brushed it off by laughing, calling him drunk. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done that. Anna led him through the thick of the bodies dancing around them. He needed to kiss her again… now. Pulling her hand she spun around into him and he dipped her kissing her heavily, licking her lips apart he kissed her deeply. If he was going to kiss her he was going to do it properly, although he got no chance as she pulled back suddenly looking confused, her eyes searching his.

“Harry what are you doing?” She breathed; she was so quiet in comparison to everyone around them.

“Anna I….” Harry had no idea what had gotten into him. All he knew was that he was intoxicated with her.

“Let me go Harry.” Anna said seriously.

“Anna I…” Harry repeated speechless lifting her back up. Anna quickly weaved her way through the crowd and ran into Niall’s arms without looking back. Harry tried to follow her and was blocked by Kelly.

“We going?” She asked frowning at him.

“Anna.” Harry called over Kelly’s head. Anna had disappeared. Harry quickly ran out of the club searching for them. His heart and stomach dropped as he saw her talking with Niall, laughing with Niall, kissing Niall. Willingly kissing Niall, whispering into Niall’s ear, making Niall laugh, Niall, all with Niall. Not with Harry.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He replied to Kelly and starting to walk in the direction of the hotel.

-

Anna woke up hot and naked beside and equally hot and equally naked Niall, her head was splitting. Why had she drunk so much? Oh right, to get the image of Kelly and nondescript blonde male out of her head. Apparently the drinking did nothing except keep most of last night as a blank blur. The image of Kelly cheating on Harry was still firmly burned into her brain. Squirming out from under Niall’s scorching body heat Anna made her way to the bathroom. Looking at her reflection in the mirror Anna was surprised as she saw several love bites on her skin. She’d managed to take off most of her make up last night but there was still the smudge of mascara and eyeliner around her eyes. Rubbing her eyes trying to rid herself of her headache Anna turned on the shower and stepped under the warm water trying to remember last night, but forget about Kelly.

—

Harry woke up and his eyes immediately reacted to the brightness of the sun in the room. He had a headache but not as bad as he thought it would be. Last nights memories flooded his brain mercilessly. Anna drinking, Niall talking about being with her, dancing with Anna, laughing, drinking, kissing Anna, Kelly taking him home, his broken heart after being rejected by Anna, furiously being with Kelly, taking out his anger and heartbreak in their passion, thinking about Anna, Anna invading his every thought, his every thrust. He needed to talk to her this morning. Talk to her about kissing her. What was he meant to say? ‘Anna I’m in love with you.’, ‘Anna it was a mistake.’. One of them was a lie and he wasn’t ready to admit the truth to her. Groaning Harry got out of the bed and went to take a shower.

—

The shower was bringing relaxation to Anna’s taught muscles, the steam helping to clear her cloudy mind. She stayed in much longer than she needed too, thinking about last night and trying to remember all that happened. She remembered dancing with Niall, feeling him harden beneath her skilled hips as she moved against him, she remembered the attraction to him and thinking about what they could do when they got back to the hotel. Anna smiled at the memory. She remembered facing Harry, his long curls dropping into his face as he watched them dance. She remembered approaching him and making him dance. Laughing, hysterically laughing, he spun her around and she slammed into his chest. She remembered him spinning her making her laugh, and pulling her so that her back was flat against his chest. She remembered feeling something hard, she put it down to his belt, and Harry wasn’t attracted to her. She couldn’t and wouldn’t deny that Harry was extremely attractive, especially last night with his hair clouding his face, his grin showing his dimples, the dancing just like old times. Anna smiled at the memory as she washed her hair.

—

Harry thought about what it would be like to be with her, with her grasping him instead of himself, he thought about the dancing with Anna, the way she had collided with his chest, the way she backed up to him, the way, for just a moment in time, he could pretend that they were a couple. Her body moving in time to the music, swaying and pumping, her laughter that was addictive. Harry moaned at the memory of the way she smelt, her skin sweet but still covered with a light sheen of sweat. Niall’s words pounding were pounding in Harry’s ears, ‘she does this thing…’ grasped himself firmly and thrust into his hand as he remembered all that Niall had described. With the memory of Anna still firmly planted in his mind Harry came quickly imagining what him with her mouth, or her body instead of this loneliness. Harry moaned loudly as he remembered kissing her, his tongue opening hers, for a minute there she kissed back, the taste of her so addictive, mixed with the alcohol it was a lethal combination. He would never forget that kiss. Switching the water to a colder temperature, breathless Harry rinsed off his early morning activity deciding he needed to see Anna and talk about the kiss. Still not sure what he should be saying to her.

—

Anna turned off the water, her head slightly clearer as she exited the shower wrapping a towel around her body, her wet hair dripping down her back. Anna cleaned her teeth, hoping to remove the tastes of last night from her palate. Anna felt her stomach rumble knowing that she needed to eat some food, Niall could stay asleep, but Anna needed to get something into her stomach, the food would be able to help with her headache. After rinsing out her mouth Anna exited the bathroom in search for some clothes when she heard a knock on the door. She looked around frantically, should she answer it in just a towel, how would that look? She could just ignore it. They knock sounded again, slightly more urgent. Sighing Anna walked to the door gripping the towel tightly around her body.

Opening the door slowly and peaking out she was surprised when she saw Harry standing the doorway.

“Harry?” She said surprised and opened it fully.

“Anna.” Harry choked, she didn’t miss the way his eyes ran over her body, and she gripped the towel a little tighter.

“Can I help you?” Anna smiled at him.

“Yeah, just, I’m really hungry. Wanna join me?” He asked nervously, running a hand through his long wet hair.

“Starving actually. Let me put on something more appropriate.” Anna said before shutting the door and picking up a summer dress and some shoes.

“Okay.” She said breathlessly shutting the door behind her. Her hair was still wet and she’d thrown it into a messy bun trying to stop it from leaking down her neck. “Where’re we going?”

—

Harry resisted the urge to take her hand or kiss her all through breakfast. They were sitting outside the sun shining brightly, Anna drinking some kind of green juice that Harry had no interest in. She insisted it would take away the hangover because “green means health”. She didn’t seem at all awkward about last night, maybe she didn’t remember about the kiss. Maybe he could act like nothing happened. So instead they sat just enjoying each other’s company and making each other laugh.

—

Anna was silent after a while stirring her juice slowly thinking and biting her lip.

“You ok Anna?” Harry asked after a while.

She sighed heavily rubbing one of her eyes. “I need to talk to you about something Harry.” Harry stomach dropped, she remembered last night, she’d been so normal all morning, but it was probably eating her up inside. He should have just said something.

“Is this about yesterday?” He asked nervously.

Anna looked up from her cup suddenly surprised, “You know?”

“Of course I know.” Harry exhaled seriously.

“I’m so sorry Harry. I just. I couldn’t believe it. I am so sorry.” Anna said sadly watching him carefully.

“You don’t need to apologize about anything Anna.” Harry wondered if this meant the end of their friendship, was she going to talk to Niall, how would Niall feel? How could he be so stupid?

“I know… I just… how can I help?” Anna said placing her hand over his clasped ones.

How could she be so kind to him after he’d monumentally stuffed things up, maybe she was willing to over look it.

“Anna you are so kind. It’s my fault though.” Harry sighed unclasping his hands so that he could hold her hand and squeeze it in reassurance.

“I don’t see how any of this is your fault Harry. You can’t blame yourself at all. You aren’t responsible.” Anna shook her head seriously.

“Anna, that’s really sweet of you to say, but this is on me.” Harry said sadly, she was trying to protect him from himself, she really was too good for him.

“Did you cheat on her?” Anna asked surprised.

“What?” Harry asked nervously, he did technically cheat on Kelly.

“Kelly.” Anna confirmed confused. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about yesterday?” Harry replied yesterday.

“So am I?” Anna shook her head more confused.

“Then it is my fault.” Harry said puzzled.

“I think we are talking about different things.” Anna said her eyebrows scrunching together.

“Don’t try and pretend Anna. I shouldn’t have put you in that position.” Harry should his head.

“What position?” Anna asked raising an eyebrow at him.

Harry’s stomach dropped, they must have been talking about different things Maybe she didn’t remember. Was this the part that he owned up to how he felt? But then, she didn’t remember, she didn’t tell Niall, he wasn’t in trouble, he wasn’t losing a friend and a brother, he was losing no one if he kept his mouth shut.

“I just erm….” Harry stuttered trying to find a reason, “I just drank a lot last night and I think I might have hurt you when we were dancing.” He finished, that sounded plausible. Anna started laughing and Harry felt his heart skip a beat at the sound.

“Harry, seriously, I was so out of it last night I wouldn’t have noticed.” She smiled at his and squeezed his hand one last time before taking a long drink of her green smoothie. “I can’t believe you felt so bad about that. You are so sweet.”

“That’s not what you were talking about?” Harry asked, what more could there be that she needed to tell him?

“That’s not what I was talking about.” Anna agreed sadly.

“Are you going to tell me?” Harry asked impatiently.

“Harry. I don’t want to hurt you and this… this thing I have to tell you, it’s going to hurt you.” She replied. Harry didn’t like seeing her so upset, especially if it was involving him. Harry stayed quiet as he watched Anna think.

“It’s just that if it was me, I would want to know.” She sighed running a hand through her messy hair. “But then, it’s not really my place is it?”

“Anna, sweetheart. You can tell me anything.” Harry said smiling at her.

“Okay Harry.” Anna groaned. She reached across the table to grab one of Harry’s hands.

“Yesterday, when Lou and I came to surprise you at the show,” Harry smiled at the memory, his stomach dropped dangerously low when he saw her, “we were meant to surprise you from the green room.” Anna continued squeezing Harry. “So we went in there and erm…”

“What is it Anna?” Harry asked curiously.

“Erm, Kelly was in there.” She answered shortly. Harry could see tears forming in her eyes.

“What did she say to you Anna?” Harry asked gruffly. He and Kelly had fought too many times about how she spoke to Anna, he thought that they were over this now. Anna shook her head, biting her bottom lip.

“What did she say?” Harry asked again seriously.

“Nothing. It’s not that she said anything.” Anna’s voice shook as she answered him.

“Anna, please. I’m sure the lead up is worse than the actual news.” Harry tried comforting her, holding her one hand in his two larger ones.

Anna sighed heavily, “She was with someone Harry.”

“What do you mean?” He asked slowly, not wanting to believe what Anna was telling him.

“She was with someone else. I’m so sorry Harry. I would never lie to you, please know that.” Anna looked up from the table, a tear falling slowly down her face.

Harry shook his head in denial.

“Lou saw it as well. We didn’t know what to do. We wanted to tell you Harry, but we were hoping that she would.” Anna continued miserably.

“Do you…” Harry’s voice cracked as he processed what Anna was telling him, “Do you know who it was?”

Anna shook her head quickly. “Looked a lot like Niall.”

Harry’s head shot up at Niall’s name, and he remembered last night, kissing Anna, was he like Kelly? Did he cheat? ‘Yes’, his immediate answer. But he’d also had something to drink, Kelly… she wasn’t drinking. How long had this been going on? He knew about the phone calls to someone called Benny. But could she actually be with someone else, and say that she still loved Harry. She was destroying him. Did she know? Did she care?

“I’m so sorry to dump that news on you like that though. I’m so sorry Harry.” She said earnestly. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, no I’m glad you told me.” Harry answered seriously.

They sat in silence for a while, Harry realized that he was gripping Anna’s hand quite firmly, but he didn’t want to let it go, it felt like the only thing that was keeping him grounded.

—

“What are you going to do?” Anna asked quietly.

Harry’s stomach pained, “I don’t know.” Harry shrugged. “I’ll figure something out.”

“I’m here for you Harry, Niall and I both. Whatever you need.” Anna said sadly.

“Thanks love. I appreciate it a lot.” Harry smiled sadly at her.

“I appreciate you a lot Harry.” She said returning a small smile.

—

Niall was in the shower when Anna finally returned to the hotel room. She lay on her back on the bed staring at the ceiling until he emerged from the bathroom, his blonde hair a shade darker from the water.

“Where’d you head off too this morning?” He asked sitting on the edge of the bed, a pair of basketball short slung low on his hips.

“Had breakfast with Harry.” Anna said sitting up, “I need to tell you something.”

Niall immediately straightened up from his relaxed state. “You ok?” He asked cautiously.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. It’s not about me.” Anna said shaking her head.

“What’s wrong?” Niall took Anna’s hand in his.

“Yesterday, when I came to surprise you. Initially the plan was to surprise you in the green room. But then… then when Lou and I walked in. Kelly was in there.” Anna took a deep breath.

“Anyway, Kelly was in there and she was… She was cheating on Harry with some guy…” Anna sighed heavily.

“She what?” Niall was stunned.

“The weird thing is Niall. The guy. He looked so much like you. For a minute my heart leapt out of my chest. I mean. I know you would never. But now I can’t get that image about of my mind.” Anna shook her head; Harry was heartbroken and right now all she could think of was that the guy looked kind of like Niall.

“Anna, you know I would never cheat on you.” Niall said sincerely.

“I know. I know. It was just a moment.” Anna tried to dismiss her feelings.

“Regardless. Know that I would never ever hurt you like that.” Niall said squeezing her hands tightly.

“Yeah. It’s just… no don’t worry it’s nothing.” Anna said rejecting the thoughts in her head again.

“Tell me Anna. You can tell me anything.” Niall said concerned, brushing some of Anna’s hair out of her face.

“It’s just. She’s always on tour with you, and there’s not denying that she’s extremely attractive and it just feels like she will do anything she can to get to me. And I’m not saying that I think that you would cheat on me. Please don’t think that. I’m saying that it feels like she would try and use you to hurt me. Or something. I don’t know. I’m being crazy. I’m being crazy aren’t I?” Anna ranted pulling her hands from Niall and covering her face.

“You aren’t being crazy baby. You know I would never do anything to hurt you. I love you ok. Only you.” Niall said trying to reassure her.

Anna nodded sadly. “It’s hard to be away from you Niall.”

“I know. But I’m all yours at Christmas!” Niall replied happily.

“You’ll be with your family.” Anna said trying to smile.

“Then you come with me.” Niall said earnestly.

“Come with you? To Ireland? To meet your family?” Anna asked surprised.

“Why not? They’ve heard me talk about you enough. My dad wants to meet you and we’ve dating for a long time. Frankly it’s quite offensive you haven’t met them.” Niall said laughing, pleased with his plan.

“Well I’ve met your mum.” Anna smiled, genuinely this time.

“But not as my girlfriend, not as my partner.” Niall was grinning widely.

“Way to stack on the pressure!” Anna laughed, her heart feeling lighter than it did before.

“What’s Christmas without a lot of awkward pressure?” Niall dragged her down so that they were lying on the bed together.

“Happy?” Anna said sarcastically.

“Shush.” Niall scolded.

“Christmas is so far away though.” Anna sighed.

“Only three months.” Niall conceded.

“Three months too long.” Anna buried her face into his chest.

“But then I am all yours through Christmas and January. You’ll be begging me to go back on tour.” Niall said kissing Anna on the top of her head.

“Unlikely.” She mumbled, back to being content with the man she loved.

—

“What time are you leaving?” Niall asked as they walked down the strip of shops.

“Midday tomorrow.” Anna answered quietly.

“Don’t want you to go.” Niall whined as Anna stopped to look at a dress.

“I don’t either.” Anna replied turning and walking into his open arms.

“Do you want that dress?” Niall asked, Anna could hear the smile in his voice as she shook her head against his chest.

“Yes, you do.” Niall laughed letting her go and pulling her into the shops.


	15. The Straw that Breaks

“I just want to stay in with you tonight. Is that ok?” Niall asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and Anna started to fold the new clothes Niall and bought for her.

“That’s fine.” Anna stood up from the bag smiling.

“I mean, I know that Lou and Harry and everyone want to see you. But I would just like to see you for now.” Niall continued explaining.

“Niall, it’s fine really.” Anna reassured him laughing.

“I know. But with the Harry and Kelly bomb shell and you don’t see Lou all that often. I would understand if you wanted to see them for dinner or something. I’m just being selfish.” Niall sighed heavily.

“I forgot the part where I was dating Lou and Harry?” Anna laughed putting the last of her clothes in her bag.

“Yeah, but they are your friends too.” Niall replied.

“You’re my boyfriend.” Anna contradicted.

“But you miss them.” Niall answered.

“Do you even want me around tonight?” Anna laughed before sitting on the bed next to him.

“Of course I do. I just don’t want you to feel trapped.” Niall answered quietly.

“Trapped? Niall I haven’t seen you in two months.” Anna laughed loudly pushing him slightly.

“Ok, I’m just making sure.” Niall grinned at her.

“Well don’t ask anymore or I will go out for dinner just to get away from you.” Anna snorted before Niall wrapped her up in his arms and lay down on the bed.

—

“So what do you want to do tonight Harry?” Kelly called from the bathroom as she reapplied her lipstick. Hearing no response from Harry she stuck her head out of the door.

“Harry you know how much I hate it when you ignore me.” She huffed seeing Harry sit on the bed flicking through his phone.

“Harry!” She yelled, trying again to get his attention.

“What?” He asked looking up, he face annoyed.

“You know I hate it when you ignore me. What do you want to do tonight?” Kelly repeated herself.

“I really don’t care.” Harry sighed looking back at his phone.

“Urgh.” Kelly groaned again and went back to applying her make up.

Applying the final touches, happy with how she looking Kelly stepped out of the bathroom in only her lingerie. Harry didn’t look up at the sound of the door closing. She was growing impatient with him. She put a lot of effort into how she looked and he was always taking her for granted.

“Maybe we could see what Anna and Niall are doing.” Harry mumbled still looking at his phone.

“Oh god, I don’t want to spend another night with them.” Kelly moaned.

“Why not?” Harry snapped finally looking up at her.

“Because, whenever she’s around you just ignore me. It’s all you want to do is spend time with her.” Kelly complained crossing her arms over her ample chest.

“And what do you do when I’m not around?” Harry asked his brows furrowing.

“What do you mean?” Kelly asked he heart fluttering, Lou and Anna had caught her out on Friday but they knew better than to say anything to Harry. They knew that she would destroy them. There was no way Harry knew about Ben.

“Nothing.” Harry shrugged looking down at his phone again.

“Harry, have you even noticed what I am wearing?” Kelly huffed.

He glanced up from his phone quickly, “You might want to put on some more clothes if we go out.” Harry shrugged again. “Unless you want a reaaallly big story.” He sighed.

“Harry, I don’t just put these on, there’s a reason for it you know.” Kelly replied angrily.

“What’s that then?” Harry sighed putting his phone on the bedside table.

“I put it on for you, jerk.” Kelly stamped her foot. Harry had never denied her before when she’d come out in some of her best lingerie.

“Who else do you put it on for?” Harry asked angrily standing up from the bed.

“No one, asshole, just you.” Kelly yelled back.

“You sure about that?” Harry growled at her.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Kelly shrieked at him.

“I think you know.” Harry replied quietly, his anger getting more and more prominent the lower his voice went.

“Honestly Harry, just spit out whatever you are accusing me of.” Kelly rolled her eyes at him. Her heart was beating nervously. There was no way that Anna or Lou could have said anything to him. Kelly had been with him all day, making sure that he didn’t speak to them, trying to distract him, but he’d been in this foul mood all day.

“Really? You are going to make me say it? You don’t even have the guts to own up to it yourself?” Harry asked his voice disgusted.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Kelly retaliated, “So if you are busy believing all the rumors that get thrown about us constantly, then I don’t have time for that.”

“Would you stop acting like a spoiled brat? Would you at least have the decency to own up to the foul person you are? Can’t you at least own up to anything that you’ve done?” Harry roared at her, his anger finally spilling over. Kelly shrank backwards, she had never heard Harry’s voice like that.

“You. You, Kelly.” Harry started to pace in front of her, pulling at his own hair in frustration. “You lie. You lie Kelly, it’s what you do. You make up rumors; you try to keep yourself current by lying. You lie to yourself, you’re lying to me, is there anyone who knows the truth about you. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep convincing myself that I love someone that could be so cruel, so bitter… so… so… filled with viciousness.”

Kelly took another step back as though someone had slapped her.

“I can’t do this anymore Kelly. We are done.” Harry stopped standing in front of her panting heavily.

“How dare you speak to me like that.” Kelly yelled pushing past him and grabbing one of her silk robes, tying it around her body harshly.

“I’m speaking the truth to you Kelly. I’m sorry if no ones ever done that to you before.” Harry sighed in frustration.

“I don’t even know where this is coming from, but I have never been more angry in my life Harry.” Kelly whimpered hoping to gather some sympathy from him.

“I don’t care Kelly. Honestly I think I stopped caring a long time ago.” Harry shook his head.

“You love me Harry.” Kelly demanded.

“I don’t. I stopped when I realized what a good relationship looks like.” Harry said sadly.

“You can’t be speaking about Niall and Anna. Please tell me you aren’t.” Kelly laughed sarcastically.

“They have a hell of a better relationship than us.” Harry grumbled.

Kelly continued to laugh sarcastically, “Honestly those two have so many cheating rumors floating around their heads, she’s plain and simple, he could do much better, not to mention the fact that she is never around…” Harry interrupted Kelly.

“Rumors that YOU started Kelly. You! Anna is one hundred times the woman that you are! You know why she’s not around on tour all the time? Because she built her own career. She didn’t depend on someone else to get her started. She worked hard for it.”

“If you think that she didn’t name drop any of your names to get her job that you are stupider than I thought you were Harry.” Kelly rolled her eyes.

“She’s a FUCKING TEACHER KELLY. How in that fucked up brain of yours could you think that using any of our names would help her be a teacher. Get your head out of your arse.” Harry yelled starting to pace again.

“For fucks sake Harry.” Kelly said calmly pulling him to a stop and trying to rub his arms soothingly.

“Don’t fucking touching me.” Harry growled snatching his arms out of her grip.

“Harry you know I can make you feel good.” Kelly started to try to seduce him, it always worked before, why shouldn’t it work again.

“Who else do you do that too? Ben?” Harry snapped walking to the door.

“What did you say?” Kelly’s face paled.

“You heard me Kelly.” Harry snarled before exiting the hotel room and slamming the door behind him.

—

“Can you hear that?” Niall asked his arms around Anna as they watched a terrible movie from the bed.

“Hear what?” Anna asked sleepily from his chest.

“Nothing. Thought I heard yelling.” Niall shook his head concentrating on the movie again.

“There it is again!” Niall said quietly after a long while.

“You sure you’re not hearing the movie.” Anna said stifling a yawn.

“Are you even watching the movie?” Niall chuckled.

“Not even a little bit. I’m too comfortable.” Anna giggled rubbing her face in his bare chest.

“Keep doing that and I won’t be watching it either soon.” Niall hummed smiling at the feeling of her warm body pressed against his.

—

“I’m really not imagining things, someone is yelling.” Niall said again sitting up slightly.

“Not your business. If you leave me right now, when I am extremely comfortable I may never forgive you.” Anna replied her hot breath fanning across his skin.

“Can’t argue with that.” Niall answered settling back down before there was a loud knock on the door.

“Nooooooo.” Anna groaned, “Ignore it.” Niall laughed loudly in response clamping a hand over his mouth trying to stifle the sound.

The loud knocking came again. “Please Niall.” It was Harry’s voice, pleading.

Niall have Anna a pointed look and she let him go groaning. “Go get it then.”

Niall jogged slowly over to the door and opened it a crack.

“Mate what’s up?” He asked quietly.

“Can I come in, just need to talk?” Harry mumbled.

“Sure mate, sure.” Niall opened up the door wider to the dark room and Harry entered.

Harry paused when he saw what he had interrupted; Anna was curled up in blankets where Niall had obviously been lying moments before, the light from the television glowing on her skin.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Harry said awkwardly turning to leave.

“It’s fine.” Anna said through a yawn as she sat up in the bed, wearing her flimsy pajamas. Harry could slightly make out her nipples through the thin fabric, well if he needed a distraction that was certainly one way.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” Harry tugged on his long hair in frustration. “Kelly and I fought.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Anna said sitting up properly, her body distracting Harry from his train of thought again. Niall went back to the bed and sat down beside her where she moved closer to him.

“Do you need to talk?” She asked quietly patting a space on the bed, inviting him to sit.

“Yeah, but I’ll talk to you Louis. I’ve interrupted.” Harry replied his gaze firmly fixed on Anna’s bright eyes. Jealousy coursing through his veins as Anna’s thin frame was curled into Niall’s larger body, jealousy that he’d fallen for Kelly, who only used and abused him when Anna was in front of him the whole time, jealousy that he’d only realized how much he needed her when she was happy with someone else, someone who loved her, someone she loved back, jealousy leaving a metallic taste in his mouth while his body reacted to hers. He wondered briefly if she could sense his body reacting to hers. How did Niall remain clothed around her, how did Niall let her out of his sight, how was he not buried deep in her moaning out her name? Did she know this affect that she had on him? Even while crushed about Kelly’s betrayal, Harry’s body still physically reacted to Anna while his mind sought all the ways that he could make love to her.

“Honestly Harry it’s fine.” Niall said softly, watching Harry closer.

“I told you this morning, we’re always here for you.” Anna agreed kindly.

“I know. I know.” Harry tugged his hair again. His emotions were getting too much and the sound of Anna’s voice was like fresh water pouring over his dehydrated heated skin.

“I need to go. I’ll just talk to you in the morning.” Harry said abruptly before turning quickly and leaving the room. Standing against the door he left out a deep breath. Anna was too good for him, she was able to distract him in the best way, he was killing her, in the best way, she was destroying him and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Harry fell back slightly as the door opened and closed quickly behind him and Anna stood in front of him. Her arms crossed over her chest as if to hide the fact that she was wearing the sexiest piece of clothing he’d ever seen.

“Harry are you ok?” Anna whispered leaning close to him, he could smell the apricot of her hair and it was clouding his brain.

“No.” He shook his head in defeat. Kelly had ruined him, not Anna. Anna just made him realize it.

Harry froze as he felt Anna’s arms wrap tightly around him, hugging him. He hesitated before engulfing her completely in his body, holding her firmly against him. He could feel every curve of her body as she was pressed against him. Resting his cheek against the top of head, he could pretend for a minute that she loved him like he loved her. She could probably feel his body coiled tightly pressed heavily against her lower hip, but for right now he didn’t care. He was holding the woman he loved after escaping the woman he loathed.

“What am I going to do?” He whispered into Anna’s hair.

“You are going to wake up tomorrow. You are going to be sad. But Harry, you are going to be ok.” Anna said holding him just as tight as he was. “I’m so sorry this happened.”

Harry nodded, not sure if her could speak.

“I love you Harry. You know that.” Anna said her grip loosening. Harry didn’t want to let go just yet. He wanted to stay in this moment, standing in a hotel hallway, holding her carefully, pretending that they were together, pretending that she loved him they way he needed her to.

“I love you Anna.” Harry said finally, she would never know that he meant it so much more than friends. Anna stood on her tiptoes as she brushed her lips against his cheek lightly. “Always.” The last words she spoke before she went back into the hotel room, back to Niall, back to reality. Harry sighed blinking away the tears he wasn’t aware had come to his eyes and walking slowly towards Louis room.

—

Harry was surprised to see all of Kelly’s things still in the hotel room, as if nothing had changed from the night before when he returned from staying in Louis’ room. She wasn’t in the room, but her makeup still littered the counter, her bag still sitting in the corner, clothes hanging out. The bed had been slept in, the blankets spread haphazardly on the mattress, to anyone else, nothing had changed, but to Harry it was a different room. Sighing heavily Harry began to pack up his belongings, he would get a separate hotel room, he only needed to be here for a few more days before they set off somewhere else. He couldn’t even think about where they were going next, only wondering if Kelly would try and follow him, or if Anna would try to see him again before she left. Harry closed his bag and gave the room a final sweep before heading down to reception to book another room. Sure, he could call one of the tour managers to do it for him, but Harry enjoyed his independence, besides, he wasn’t a child, he could do his own things.

“I have room 604 booked for you Mr. Styles. Was it just the one night?” The receptionist asked, her name badge read Amanda.

“Yeah, thanks.” Harry mumbled forcing a smile at her.

“May I ask if there was an issue with your previous room?” She asked quietly.

“Bed wasn’t big enough.” Harry murmured.

“I’m sorry Mr. Styles?” Amanda asked.

“No it was fine. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Harry said looking up into her bright blue eyes.

“No inconvenience at all Mr. Styles. Please enjoy your stay.” She smiled brightly at him handing him his new swipe card. Harry thanked her with a smile and made his way back to the elevator to take his bags to his new room.


	16. News is Breaking

Harry stood back in surprise as Anna and Niall exited the elevator with Anna’s bags.

“You’re leaving?” Harry asked immediately, not bothering to greet them.

“Plane to catch.” Anna said her smile dropping.

“Already?” Harry asked heartbroken, she couldn’t be leaving yet, he still needed her, he needed her to keep him grounded, to keep him sane, to keep him away from Kelly; he needed her.

Anna shrugged sadly in response; Niall’s arm was around her waist.

“Quit. Come on tour with us. You can be Lux’s tutor.” Harry said wildly, she couldn’t leave yet.

Anna laughed loudly, her eyes sparkling, “Funny, Niall said the same thing last night.”

“Of course he did, it’s a bloody good idea!” Harry said firmly.

“I can’t Harry, but thank you for the thought.” Anna said kindly smiling at him. Harry eyes darted around her face trying to memorize everything about her.

“Don’t go Anna.” He pleaded, sounding like a small child that wasn’t getting his way, which was in part, the truth.

“Bye Harry. See you at Christmas yeah? Only three months away.” Anna’s smiled, but it was sad smile, not quite reaching her eyes like when she had laughed.

“Three months.” Harry sighed heavily.

“Take care of my Niall would you? I’d like him back in one piece.” Anna said grinning up at Niall.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Harry replied wearily.

Anna nodded before hugging him tightly. Harry didn’t want to let go of her. Why was he so attached to her? Was he trying to rebound onto her? No, he’d liked her for much longer than that. Was it because she was the complete opposite of Kelly? Maybe. Or maybe he’d always loved her and without Kelly clouding his judgment he was blinded by the realness, the sincerity of the woman currently engulfed in his arms.

“Always here for you Harry.” Anna said kissing him on the cheek before taking Niall’s hand and walking to the taxi rank. Harry touched the spot where Anna’s lips had lingered, feeling water, tears, Anna was crying. Harry let out a heavy sigh as he pressed the button for the lift again, Harry might not be shedding actual tears but his heart was shattering.

—

Harry sat in his empty room, looking around at the standard hotel furniture, his bag lying on the floor and he felt numb. He didn’t want to talk to anyone; he didn’t want to look at anyone. He didn’t want to be Harry. He felt defeated, alone, despair, hopeless, how was he meant to pick himself up from this? There was a knock on the door and he dragged himself off the bed.

“Mate, have you checked twitter?” Louis said excitedly walking into Harry’s room.

Harry shook his head and went back to his position on the bed.

“You might want to check it.” Louis grinned.

“Could you just tell me?” Harry mumbled pulling out his phone.

“Way better if you see it.” Louis replied still excited.

Harry clicked on the app on his phone and waited for it to load. There were thousands of messages, thousands of tags.

“There’s nothing different here Louis.” Harry sighed about to shut it down before something caught his eyes.

“Harry vs. Niall”

Curiosity got the better of him and he clicked on a news article he’d been tagged in. Skim reading he caught the gist of it very quickly.  
‘Harry Styles seen with new woman.’ ‘Looking very in love.’ ‘Same girl seen with Niall one day later.’ ‘Trouble in paradise.’ ‘End of One Direction.’ Harry looked up from his phone confused to Louis who was still grinning like a mad man.

“Hilarious right?” Louis laughed.

“There are pictures.” Harry said stunned looking back at his phone. There was Harry and Anna having breakfast, holding hands, leaning close to talk, laughing, Anna looked radiant. Harry kept flicking and next he saw Niall with his arms around Anna, laughing, kissing, holding hands, shopping, looking incredibly in love.

“Oh are you in trouble now!!” Louis laughed with glee. “Kelly’s going to spit it.”

“Doesn’t matter though. It’s lies and Kelly and I broke up.” Harry said sadly.

“You didn’t see the best line.” Louis said suddenly, taking Harry’s phone and scrolling.

“Look.” He said forcefully handing the phone back to Harry.

‘We don’t know the situation with this mystery girl, but lets just say we are glad to see Harry looking so happy for once.’

“What?” Harry asked after reading the sentence out loud.

“Keep reading.” Louis urged gleefully.

‘After months of looking less then happy with girlfriend Kelly Mathers, it’s nice to see Styles finally enjoying being out in the public again.’ Harry was shocked, he didn’t seem unhappy when he was out with Kelly did he?

“Keep going!” Louis said bouncing on the bed slightly.

‘“They looked really happy together.” One patron said after eating breakfast across from the loved up pair. “He was smiling and laughing and she was making him laugh. They seemed very affectionate with each other.” They went on, “Not to mention how good he looks when he smiles.” All we can say is that we are glad to have Harry back, is this good riddance to Killer Kelly?’

Harry eyes widened as he reread the last sentence. “Killer Kelly?”

“Has a nice ring to it really.” Louis laughed clapping his hands and doubling over with laughter.

“Niall’s going to be pissed.” Harry said suddenly looking between his phone and Louis.

“Nah mate, he’ll be right.” Louis shook his head in disagreement sitting up and still chuckling a little.

“There are people saying that we look like we are in love.” Harry reminded him.

“Yeah, but you should see what people say about them together. It’s not worth the read honestly, very gag worthy.” Louis shook his hand dismissing Harry’s concerns. “What do you think Killer’s going to say?”

“You can’t start calling her Killer Louis.” Harry scolded struggling to keep the grin off his face.

“Kiss-Ass?” Louis suggested making Harry laugh.

“Stop. You really shouldn’t.” Harry smiled.

“She broke my best friends heart, I’m allowed to call her whatever I like.” Louis pouted. “Wonder what she’ll do when she sees it.”

“Who knows?” Harry sighed heavily. He should really call Niall and talk to him about the articles that were spreading like wildfire, but for right now the vindictive part of his wanted to see what Kelly was going to do.

—

“Did you see it?” Niall asked sighing into the phone, looking at the articles written about Anna and Harry, Anna and Niall, Niall and Harry, Harry and Niall, Anna and Kelly.

“I saw a few.” Anna hummed.

“Thoughts? Feelings?” He asked, he was annoyed, not at Anna, just the situation.

“No real strong feelings.” Anna replied, Niall could imagine her shrugging.

“You aren’t angry?” Niall was surprised.

“Not really. I mean, I know it’s not true. It’s nice to see photos where we look really happy together.” Anna answered.

“You and Harry look happy together.” Niall grumbled.

“Are you not okay with these stories Niall?” Anna asked quietly.

“It’s fine.” He sighed heavily closing his computer screen.

“It’s clearly not. Want to tell me what’s going on?” Anna prompted again.

“Just, you and Harry. They wouldn’t have been able to write a story like this if there wasn’t something behind it.” Niall said angrily.

“What are you saying Niall?” Anna asked sharply.

“I’m not saying anything.” Niall denied quickly.

“Ok, what are you thinking?” Anna tried again.

“Just drop it Anna.” Niall huffed in frustration.

“I’m not dropping it because I don’t think that this is a big deal. But it sounds like you think that there is something going on with me and Harry.” Anna snapped in frustration.

“Well, what am I meant to think with photo’s like this Anna?” Niall retorted.

“I don’t know. Maybe that I flew to LA to see you, maybe that I spent the weekend with you, maybe that the photos are the moment that I told Harry that Kelly was cheating on him. Maybe you think about those things before you start accusing me of anything.” Anna spat in anger.

“You’re holding his hand Anna.” Niall answered his voice rough.

“And I am kissing you in the next picture.” Anna replied in surprise.

“You look like a couple.” Niall said angrily.

“So what do I look like with you?” Anna groaned. “Wait, you aren’t focusing on that. You’re focusing on the fact that I am comforting a friend. Good job Niall.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up? We could have gone together.” Niall said, his voice was stiff.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what Harry would have wanted when I dropped a bomb like that on him. Honestly Niall.” Sarcasm dripping from her every word.

“Harry has a thing for you. I know it.” Niall countered.

“No he doesn’t.” Anna sighed before taking a deep breath to calm her anger, “And even if he did, that just shows the trust you have in me.”

Niall stayed silent on the other end of the phone.

“You know what Niall. Don’t call me for a while, okay? I really don’t want to talk to you at the moment.” Anna said angrily.

“What do you mean?” Niall asked quickly.

“You’ve really hurt me. I’m not bothered by the articles, just like I’ve tried not to be bothered every single time I see an article claiming your slept with someone new. The least you could do is give me an ounce of the same amount of trust I give you daily. So, don’t call me. I don’t want to be accused of something else I haven’t done.” Anna answered in annoyance.

There was silence on the other end of the phone again.

“Goodbye Niall.”

“Anna- wait!” Niall called, but she’d already hung up the phone. Niall threw his phone on the bed in anger. He knew he shouldn’t have snapped at her, he knew that he was in the wrong, but there was the ice-cold sting of jealously running through his stomach that he couldn’t shake. Why did she have to look so happy with Harry? Why did he click on article after article? Why were there articles comparing Anna and Kelly? Why was everyone saying how great Harry and Anna looked together? Why couldn’t he just let this go?

—

It had been over two weeks since Niall had spoken properly to Anna, she wouldn’t return his calls, only reply to his messages. Niall only knew that she was ok because she was still in contact with Lou. Lou was the only one that was keeping him sane at the moment. He just needed to talk to her. Tell her how stupid he was. Lou had said that she was ridiculously busy with work, that she was in some inquiry about bullying at the school, that she hardly got a chance to think about anything else but that, having to write up a report, have one on one tutoring with one of the students because they wouldn’t return to school. Lou didn’t know the full story, Anna could only share a few details, but it was news Niall had no idea about.

“She’s hardly returning my calls at the moment Niall. She’s really busy.” Lou said as Niall sat in the make up chair as she played with his hair.

“But I’m her boyfriend.” Niall said sadly looking at his phone, at the last exchange they’d had. He’d sent her a message every day telling her that he loved her and that he was sorry.

“Just give her some time Niall. You know how independent she is.” Lou sighed as she sprayed the front of his hair. He nodded sadly sending another message to Anna, knowing she wouldn’t reply.

—

Kelly had left right after Anna, flying back to London, saying that she had a job booked, no discussion about her and Harry. Harry had cut of communication with her and there were more stories about him and Kelly breaking up. He was surprised that there wasn’t more backlash from Kelly’s end, he was expecting some kind of scandal to come from this, but nothing huge had come. He hadn’t spoken to Anna since the articles were released. She’d sent him a brief text message explaining the fight between her and Niall, and that she would contact him later. In response Harry had been slightly standoffish towards Niall, not sure if should bring anything up, or really how to approach him. He knew that Niall was worried about Anna and so when they spoke she was strictly off the subject list. Tension was growing and it was sure to snap at some point.

—

Anna woke up on Sunday immediately regretting opening her eyes. It was too early and she was too tired. She’d had the inquiry all week with the staff at the school, and then there was the inquiry with the education board in the coming week. She’d been tutoring Jacob on Tuesday nights as well as Saturdays because he refused to come back to school. It was a temporary arrangement but it was exhausting Anna. He was incredibly shy, didn’t react well to changes or sudden movements. The poor boy was petrified if Anna breathed too loudly. But he would only learn with her. They’d tried to rotate teachers to give Anna break but he refused to leave his room and screamed the entire time someone else had been there. He was talking to a counselor and Anna knew that it was making a difference but it was taking time. It was always going to take time. Anna was so busy with work she hadn’t had a chance to talk to Niall, or process her feelings of what had really happened between them. So whenever she thought about the situation she either became infuriated or she cried. There was no medium. He was still in the news, as was Harry, as was this ‘mystery’ girl who had never been seen again, but she didn’t pay attention to articles. She didn’t have the emotional capacity to do it. So when she woke up on Sunday already exhausted she knew that she had to treat herself. She needed to get out of the house. She needed to go shopping. She needed to be fresh and new for the hellish week that was coming. Then she would put herself together and she would talk to Niall and find out where they both sat. 

Rolling over she checked her phone to see three messages already from Niall. It was the same two that she got every morning, differently worded, ‘I love you’, ‘I’m sorry’ and the third telling her something about the day. Today’s message however was different, ‘Anna, I know that we haven’t spoken much, only over text and I know why. I need you to know how much I love you and how much I want to fix this. I haven’t heard your voice for so long and there’s only so many times I can listen to your voicemails. I know you need your space. I just need you. I don’t know what I am doing without you. Please. Call me. Always yours, Niall.’ Niall never signed off his messages like that. Anna would call him tonight, she wasn’t so much angry anymore, just hurt. Anna finally pulled herself together and traveled to central London to do some shopping on the High Street, Oxford Street. She wandered into a few stores, trying on some clothes before putting them all back. Trying different shoes before putting them all back. Some days were winners with clothing, other days, not so much, and Anna sighing heavily, decided that it seemed like this was going to be a day that was not. Walking into a final store Anna immediately fell in love with a navy blue a-line dress. Picking up her size she noticed a few other items of clothing. Picking them all up and taking them to the dressing room to try on it seemed that her shopping luck was about to change. After paying for her new clothes Anna stepped back out onto the street feeling much better than when she had woken up this morning. Picking up a few more things, make up, a new bag, and some necklaces Anna was ready to head back home. She noticed a commotion of people walking her way and Anna quickly shuffled to the side. 

There was photographers shouting names and moving around the person they were trying to capture. “Kelly! Kelly! What’s happening with you and Harry?” One of the photographers yelled causing Anna’s head to snap up. Kelly immediately made eye contact with Anna and froze. Looking around at the photographers surrounding her a smirk ghosted on her lips before she pointed dramatically at Anna screaming 

“You!” Suddenly photographers were surrounding Anna, blinding her with their cameras. 

“Kelly.” Anna nodded her head briefly as she looked around desperately for an escape.

“How dare you!” Kelly yelled, her voice shrieking.

“I’ve not done anything Kelly.” Anna sighed, not wanting to have this conversation surrounded by journalists and photographers.

“You ruined Harry and I! And cheating on Niall! How could you?” Kelly screamed, her eyes were lit up in joy.

“I did no such thing Kelly and you know it.” Anna replied bitterly, she knew what Kelly was doing, but Anna could see no getaway.

“And you were my FRIEND!” Kelly shrieked.

“We were never friends Kelly!” Anna shouted back.

“I trusted you!” Kelly clearly had her lines memorized.

“Shall I tell your friends here the kind of person you are Kelly. Shall I give them an exclusive?” Anna asked lowering her voice, feeling twenty photographers lean in. Anna saw the flicker of panic pass over Kelley’s face before she recovered.

“All lies.” Kelly spat at her.

“Fine.” Anna growled before raising her voice slightly. “You cheated on Harry. My friend, who will only ever by my friend. You cheated. I caught you. You threatened us. You leaked your own stories to the press. You tried to seduce Niall and Liam and they both turned you down. You were mean Kelly. You are mean. You tried to block out half of the crew on tour. Do you know how many of them put up with you? No Kelly they didn’t like you, they didn’t lust after you, they didn’t want you, they tolerated you, and barely if that. Kelly you are a cold and dead person. I wish you all the best in your life, I’m glad that I am no longer part of it. I pity you Kelly. I hope you learn to love yourself.” Anna ranted before pushing past the photographers and walking hurriedly away from the scene. 

She saw Kelly’s jaw hanging open as Anna passed; she knew that she was going to pay for that. It was even more reason to call Niall and explain what was happening.


	17. Bridges Built

“Niall?” Anna said tentatively into the phone, waiting to hear a response from him, so far there was nothing.

“Anna?” He answered quietly, his voice cracking.

“Oh thank goodness you picked up.” Anna sighed in relief.

“I thought… I thought it might have been an accident.” Niall mumbled. “Wait, what’s wrong.”

“So many things Niall. So many.” And with that Anna began to cry, all of the stress and anger and hurt that she’d held within her came spilling out and she sobbed. Anna explained to Niall how hurt she was, that she cried herself to sleep most nights wondering how he could think so low of her, then she explained the stress and the fear over the inquiry at the school, the stress of tutoring the poor little boy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and who looked at the wrong person. Then she launched into the fight with Kelly, how it would be all over the news, that she never wanted this, she just wanted a normal life, where people didn’t care who she dated, that she could see the person she was dating, that she didn’t have to be alone every night, that she didn’t have to doubt every decision she’d ever made up to this point, trying to make her life right. Niall listened, tears filling his own eyes as he listened, tempted to get on a plane so that she wouldn’t cry alone any more, that he would always be there for her, and mean it, and show it. Show that he could be the man that she needed. The more that she cried, the more his heart broke. How could he be so stupid as to put faith in a ridiculous article, to cause her so much hurt and heartbreak? How could he have done this to the woman he loved?  
Eventually there was silence on the phone, only the occasional sharp intake of breath as Anna tried to calm herself down.

“First of all,” Niall said quietly, “When I said I missed your voice, I wasn’t expecting sobbing.” Anna laughed quietly into the phone.

“Thank you.” She said sniffling.

“What for?” Niall asked confused.

“Always knowing how to make me laugh.” Anna said, still sniffling slightly.

“I love you Anna. So much. I don’t know how to make it better.”

“I love you Niall and I don’t know either.” Anna sighed in exhaustion.

“Not long till I come home though. If, erm, if you wanted to see me that is.” Niall said hesitantly, still not really sure where they stood with each other.

“I need you Niall. If you don’t come see me, I’ll come see you to kill you.” Anna chuckled softly making Niall’s heart feel like it flipped in his chest.

“Thank you telling me everything that’s been going on.” Niall said quietly after a while of silence

“Thanks for listening.” Anna replied sadly.

“Always. Always for you.” Niall’s soft voice muffled over the phone. He wouldn’t let go of Anna that way that he had. He would never hurt her again. He would stand by her side and protect her as much as he could, because he loved her, only her, maybe for the rest of his life.

—

There it was, the article for the fight on the street. Harry read over three different sources. Niall had spoken to him the night before warning him that it was coming. He was tempted to call Anna immediately after Niall spoke to her now that she was back to talking to everyone. But he held off, he knew it wasn’t his place yet, but he missed her. He missed her so much. Now with no Kelly to keep his bed warm at night, every dream was about Anna; every thought was about Anna, how much he wanted her, how much he needed her and how much he would never have her.

Two of the three articles that Harry read were in favour of Anna, or ‘the mystery woman’, as the journalists put them. There were photos and Harry couldn’t get past how radiant Anna looked even when speaking to Kelly. They’d quoted them both and Harry’s heart stung again as Anna was quoted as saying that Harry was her friend, nothing more. Kelly looked tired, still beautiful; she would always look beautiful, but tired. The first article he read was strongly in support of Kelly, it was the source that always broke the news about Harry and Kelly first, it was Kelly’s in, so he wasn’t surprised. The two other articles seemed to be cheering Anna on, not knowing who she was, but reporting the story as it happened. Harry closed his laptop sighing heavily. Why had he been sucked into Kelly’s trap for so long? Did he even know what love was? He thought he loved her, he was sure he did, but now he wasn’t so sure. She was using him. She had to have been using him. Did she ever love him? There were the moments that it was just them together, making each other laugh, that he was happy, but then something would switch and she would turn cold. Was it all an act? Harry rubbed his eyes in exhaustion when there was knock on his door. Wearily he got up to answer it, surprised to see Niall standing in front of him.

“Can we talk?”

—

“Yeah man, come in.” Harry said quietly opening the door wider for Niall to enter. Harry couldn’t lift his eyes from the ground, his shoulders slumped in sadness, he had no idea what he was going to say to Niall, or what Niall was going to say to him.

“Is everything ok?” Niall asked pulling up a chair as Harry sat heavily on the bed. “Mate, I’m getting worried.” Niall interrupted his thoughts as Harry played with the rings on his left hand.

“I don’t know.” Harry mumbled.

There was silence as Niall watched Harry.

“I spoke to Anna today.” Niall said after a while. Harry’s head snapped up at the mention of Anna’s name.

“You did?” He asked sitting up slightly.

“Yeah. It was the first time in a long time. I want to go home. I want to be with her. I can’t stand her being home alone.” Niall continued sadly.

“I know what you mean.” Harry sighed as he continued to stare intently at the floor.

“Kelly?” Niall asked quietly.

“Hmm?” Harry hummed confused, “What? No.”

Niall studied Harry, more confused than ever.

“Niall I need to talk to you about something and I have no idea how you are going to take it. If it was me, I wouldn’t take it well, but I need to tell you this thing because it’s killing me, and I need you to know. But you are going to hate me for it. I’ve been putting it off for so long.” Harry rambled after taking a deep breath.

“Harry just spit it out. I’m sure it’s fine.” Niall chuckled to fill the awkward silence that followed.

“It’s not. It’s not fine.” Harry shook his head, appreciative of his friend trying to make things ok.

“Harry, seriously.” Niall shuffled in his chair.

“I like Anna.” Harry said simply, not daring to look up from the floor.

“I know.” Niall nodded.

“No. I mean. I like her.” Harry shook his head. Niall remained silent. “I’m sorry Niall.” Harry said sadly, looking up at him slowly.

“I know Harry.” Niall sighed heavily.

“That I’m sorry?”

“No, that you like her. I’ve known for a while.” Niall shook his head.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry took a shuddering breath.

“You know that she’s with me though.” Niall replied, his voice stiff.

“I know. I know Niall. I would never ever make a move on her.” Harry said quickly looking up at Niall his eyes glassy.

“No, you won’t Harry.” Niall nodded.

“I just needed you to know.” Harry sighed running a hand through his hair.

“You understand why I’m going to be concerned when you guys talk or hang out.” Niall replied rubbing his forehead.

“I know. I know. I would never ever make a move on her. Never Niall.” Harry nodded sincerely.

“Yeah I know Harry. Thanks for telling me.” Niall ran a hand over his face in frustration.

“Where does that leave us?” Harry asked worriedly.

“Exactly the same place as before.” Niall shrugged, “Except now you’ve got a crush on my girlfriend.”

A small smile touched on Harry lips; grateful for the friend he had in Niall.

“I’m sorry Niall.” Harry said again running a hand through his messy hair.

“Can’t blame you really.” Niall smiles, “She’s something special.”

There was a long pause between them, both processing their thoughts.

“Was there something that you wanted to talk to me about?” Harry asked suddenly.

“I was actually coming in here to talk to about Anna.” Niall said shyly.

“You can still talk to me about her.” Harry said hurriedly. “I don’t want anything to change.”

“But it has though, hasn’t it.” Niall shook his head.

“No, I promise.” Harry disagreed quickly.

“It’s just Harry, now if I talk about her, you’re going to be wondering ‘what if it was you’, and I don’t want to put you in that position.” Niall sighed sitting back in his chair. “Don’t try and deny it Harry.” Niall continued sensing Harry about to disagree again. “I don’t want to put you in that position, and I don’t want to be in that position. I think it’s best if we just don’t talk about her.” Niall finished, staring intently at a spot to the left of Harry’s knee.

“I’m so sorry Niall. I never meant for this to happen.” Harry said sadly, he knew that Niall was right; Harry agreed. The guilty sinking feeling remained in his stomach as he remembered that he still hadn’t told Niall about kissing her. But she didn’t remember so they could just act like it never happened.

“Cheers brother.” Niall sighed pulling Harry into a brotherly hug before leaving the room with Harry and his overwhelming guilt and loneliness.

—

“I had the weirdest dream last night.” Anna said absentmindedly as she flicked through the channels on her television while talking to Niall on the phone.

“What happened?” Niall lay out on his hotel bed; his mind had been spinning about Harry and Anna for days. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get images of them together out of his head. Even though he knew how stupid it was, he trusted her, plus he was on tour with Harry, Harry wasn’t anywhere near her, he had no reason to be worried. There was always going to be the nag in the back of his mind, telling him that Harry was better looking, more talented, funnier, nicer, better, just better, but he couldn’t let her go. No, she loved him, Anna loved Niall, and facts were facts. But then the vicious cycle would start again and he’d doubt everything he was for her, and how much happier she’d be with Harry.

“So then I was running through London bare foot with this kitten chasing me and I was terrified, of a kitten. Anyway so running around and then, you know that club we went to in LA, yeah suddenly I was there, and then… someone was dancing, I can’t remember who maybe Lou… Then Harry kissed me, but then it turned into you. So weird. Then suddenly I was at work and dancing down the corridor with the principal. Isn’t that weird?”

Niall couldn’t respond, his stomach had dropped to his feet when Anna had said those words, the words he hoped he would never hear, and she just said them in passing.

“Niall” Anna asked, “You still with me?”

Niall had been winded; it took a few deep breaths before he could speak again.

“Did you say Harry kissed you?” His voice was shaking with anger and fear.

“Yeah in the dream, but it turned into you. Did you not hear the part where I was running for my life from a kitten?” Anna laughed lightly.

“Why did Harry kiss you?” Niall’s voice was stiff.

“It was a dream Niall.” Anna replied surprised.

“But why would he kiss you in a dream? Why were you thinking about that?” Niall’s voice was getting rough with emotion.

“I wasn’t.” Anna replied, surprise still clear in her voice.

“Then why else would you dream about it?” Niall snapped.

“I don’t know, why would I dream I was dancing down the corridor with my boss? It’s not like it actually happened.” Anna replied calmly.

“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.” Niall worked to calm himself down.

“Niall, it was a dream.” Anna said seriously.

“I know. I know.” Niall answered quickly.

“Do you? Because I don’t want to have this fight with you again.” Anna sighed heavily.

“We aren’t, I promise baby, we aren’t. I was just having a moment.” Niall said seriously. They couldn’t have a fight like last time; things were just starting to sail smoothly for them again.

“It’s probably because I was thinking about you a lot yesterday and missing you and Harry of course…” Niall stomach pained again with Harry’s name on Anna’s lips, he had no reason to be jealous. Anna was with him. Anna loved him. Why did he have to keep convincing himself of that? “And I’m just looking forward to being able to spend Christmas with you.” Completely unaware of Niall’s internal anguish halfway across the world, Anna continued, “And it will snow as well, that will be fun.”

“I love you so much Anna.” Niall said interrupting her

“I love you too.” Anna replied after pausing briefly, Niall could hear the smile in her voice.

“So much. I can’t wait to come home to you.” Niall continued sincerely. “You sure you still want to be a teacher and not come travelling with me 24/7?” He asked hopefully and hearing her laughter on the other end of the line.

“Sorry Niall. Duty calls. I love teaching too much.”

“More than me?” He asked cheekily.

“Debatable sometimes.” Anna laughed, making Niall smile widely.

How could he ever doubt her? It was wrong of him and he needed to stop. She was perfect, she loved him and that was all that mattered. Harry be damned, he wouldn’t get in the way of the love that Niall had for Anna.

—

Harry woke up with a start, sweating, his skin was on fire. He groaned as he felt a wave of nausea come over him. Darting out of his bed he made it to the bathroom just in time before vomiting profusely into the toilet. Sitting down with his back leaning against the cool glass of the shower he took a deep shuddering breath and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He wanted to curl up on the cool floor and cry, he had no one here to take care of him, he just needed a hug, he needed someone, most of all he needed Anna. Sitting up again Harry vomited in the bowl again, the heaves wracking his entire body as he emptied the contents of his stomach. The acid burned his throat and tears leaked from his eyes as he sat back again. His body shuddered with cold, gooseflesh running up and down his back as his actual body temperature was on fire. Harry stood up from the floor weakly and made his way over to the bathroom sink and leant on the vanity. His reflection was pale and ghostly with dark circles under his eyes. His forehead was dotted with sweat and wet curls hung around the nape of his neck. Splashing some water on his face and taking a long drink Harry dried off and made his way back to the bed. Falling on his bed and picking up his phone Harry started to flick through his twitter feed. Groaning with frustration as his stomach gurgled again Harry threw his phone on the bed beside him. Another shudder ran through his body. A quiet sob broke past his lips as the loneliness rushed over his body again. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Anna. He wanted Anna to be holding him, to be telling him that he was going to be ok, brushing the hair out of his face, running her fingers lightly up and down his arm, telling him that she loved him. Harry needed Anna. Harry’s bottom lip quivered, kicking himself for crying, but he couldn’t stop, he felt awful. Awful and alone.

Harry flinched as his phone rang next to him, snapping him out of his pity party. Surprised his saw Anna’s face smiling at him.

“Anna?” His voice croaked.

“Harry? Are you ok?” Anna was breathless, but her voice was like a cooling breeze over Harry, all the tension in Harry’s back was suddenly at ease, he missed her so much. He’d been avoiding her since speaking to Niall, but he needed her right now and she’d called him.

“Why are you calling?” Harry’s voice was still rough.

“I don’t know.” Anna replied, “You were just on my mind, and I felt like I needed to.”

“You’re sweet.” Harry smiled as warmth filled his stomach.

“Are you ok? You don’t sound well.” Anna’s concern made the tears form in Harry’s eyes again. There was along pause on the phone as Harry tried to form the words he could say to Anna.

“Harry? Love? What’s wrong?” Harry’s heart leapt as she called him Love.

“I’m sick.” Harry pouted.

“Oh, Love, I’m sorry. Can I do anything?” Anna’s voice softened.

Harry chuckled weakly, “You’re in another country.”

“I can make Niall come take care of you?” Anna suggested.

“No!” Harry replied loudly, Niall shouldn’t know that she’d call him, he’d be furious.

“Okay then!” Anna giggled at Harry’s abrupt refusal.

“No. I mean. I don’t want to make anyone else sick.” Harry backtracked.

“I wish I could help. I’m sorry that you are sick.” Anna sighed. Harry smiled at her concern again.

“You’re too nice for me.” Harry mumbled.

“If I was nicer I would come and look after you.” Anna laughed. Her laugh was washing over him, lifting his spirits; this was exactly what he needed.

“This is enough.” Harry hummed smiling.

“Hardly, but you’ll be home soon and I can look after you properly.” Harry could hear traffic in the background of the phone.

“What do you mean? What about Niall?” Harry asked confused.

“What about Niall?”

“Won’t he be angry if you are looking after me?” Harry rubbed his eyes, still confused.

“Why would he be angry?” Anna sounded as confused as Harry felt.

“Well… because … because you are looking after me.”

Anna laughed into the phone, “Harry you are my friend. I think I’m well in my rights to look after you. Stuff Niall.”  
Harry grinned widely, but it faltered at the word “friend” because that’s all he’d ever be, no matter how much he would want more.

“I love you Anna.” Harry admitted, wanting her to know the full meaning on his words, the full weight of what he meant, and he wanted it returned to him.

“I love you too Harry.” The words flowed effortlessly from her lips, with no idea how much it meant to him.

“Get some rest yeah.” Anna said quietly.

“Where are you?” Harry asked suddenly hearing a siren in the background.

“Just walking home from work.” Anna said brightly. “Nearly home.”

“Time differences are so odd.” Harry mused.

“Oh my gosh what time is it?” Anna asked suddenly.

Harry rolled over to his beside clock. “Almost 3.”

“AM?” Anna almost yelled.

Harry chuckled in response.

“Oh, love I am so sorry!” She apologized quickly.

“I was awake anyway. Plus I always love hearing your voice.” And it was true, speaking to Anna was soothing him, he didn’t feel half as sick as what he did before.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. You need rest. I’ll talk to you later yeah.”

Harry didn’t want to finish talking to Anna, but he could feel his eyelids drooping with tiredness.

“Yeah, thanks for calling me Anna. Really. You made me feel a lot better.” Harry said his eyes closing, imaging Anna was right there with him instead of across the other side of the world.

“Any time Harry. Sleep well.” Anna said softly.

“Night Anna Banana.” Anna’s chuckle was the last thing he heard before she hung up and he fell asleep.


	18. Home for Christmas

Harry spent the last week of tour sick with his body completely drained. He wasn’t himself at shows and the fans knew it. He was barely summoning the energy to get out of bed. He knew he was just exhausted and needed some time off, but it was getting harder. The plane trip back to England was excruciating. Most of the boys slept, but Harry tossed and turned the whole trip, tired but unable to find rest. He was surprised when Niall told him when they’d landed that Anna wouldn’t be there to greet them, but of course, she was at school. Also it would be silly to think that Niall would be completely fine with Harry and Anna embracing each other. A brief goodbye to the band and the tour members and one of Harry’s PA’s was driving him home.

Thanking Nicole and telling her to have a good break, Harry shut the car door and made his way up his front steps. Snow was slowly pattering down, only three days out from Christmas, the bitter cold biting at his skin as he unlocked his front door. Home. His own bed. His own kitchen. His own house. Dropping his bags at the front door Harry trudged toward his bedroom rubbing his dry and tired eyes. Harry was startled to see a gift basket waiting for him on his bedside table. Seeing the card on his pillow Harry sat on the bed and opened it first. Smiling he saw Anna’s neat teachers handwriting.

“My Dear Harry, You really did sound awful when we spoke so I thought that upon your welcome home, you really should have some home comforts. Knowing you, you haven’t looked in the gift basket yet so, here’s some directions for you.  
Step 1. Open up the packaging.  
Step 2. I made you soup. It’s in the fridge… not in the basket…  
Step 3. You are probably regretting giving me a key to your place. I’ve restocked most of your fridge with some food. It’s all easy to make things and if you need help, let me know and I’ll be over in a second to help.  
Step 4. In the basket are some things to make you feel better. Cold and Flu tablets, some headache and nausea tablets, a cold and a hot press, an eye mask, some natural sleeping tablets, bits and bobs to make you feel better.  
Step 5. Here’s a track list that I’ve made for you to help you sleep. Yes, I am the corny.  
Step 6. Deal with it.  
Step 7. Get some rest. I know you aren’t feeling good at the moment. I’ll come by to check on you whenever you need me, just let me know. Also call your mum, she’s worried sick about you.  
Sincerely, Your Friend, Anna, of whom you now clearly regret giving me your spare key. See Step 6.”

Harry laughed and put the card down on the small table by his bed. Pulling out a sleeping tablet and a cold and flu tablet Harry swallowed them both with some water. Placing the eye mask over his face and a cold pack against his forehead Harry lay against his pillows and drifted off into blissful slumber, his thought firmly set on his friend, Anna.

—

Niall had landed in London and immediately got back on a plane to get home to Ireland. A quick conversation to Anna when he landed and he was off again.

“Just checking, you are coming on Saturday?” Niall asked nervously as he waiting for his plane to board.

“Yes Niall.” Anna laughed as she packed up her desk at the end of her day.

“Just checking. You’re meeting all my family for the first time as my girlfriend. Just want to check you’re not having second thoughts.”

Anna laughed again, “I’m always having second thoughts.”

“You’re so mean to me!” Niall exclaimed smiling.

“I’ll be there, I promise.” Anna soothed.

“What are you doing tomorrow and Friday?” Niall asked, “Have you got class?”

“No classes, just staff meetings.” Anna sighed.

“That’s no fun.”

“Needs to be done.” Anna shrugged, “But I might see if Harry’s going to hang around London and see if he wants to have dinner or something.”

Niall’s stomach dropped, “You’re seeing Harry?”

“Maybe, if he’s free.” Anna replied simply.

“Why do you want to see Harry?” Niall asked cautiously.

“Ah… he’s my friend? And he’s not been well, I want to make sure he’s ok.”

“How do you know he’s not been well?” Niall’s voice was sharper than he intended.

“It’s all over the news, you’re in the same band, he’s my friend… do I need to go on?”

“No.” Niall mumbled. Of course she would know that Harry wasn’t well, he was overreacting,

“Is there something wrong with me having dinner with Harry, Niall?” Anna asked sternly, “Because it sounds like there is.”

“No.” Niall repeated.

“Niall.”

“No there’s nothing wrong Anna, drop it.” Niall snapped.

“Ok fine Niall. Bye.” Anna said quickly.

“No Anna. Don’t be mad at me please.” Niall’s voice stuttered, annoyed with himself that he was letting this come between them again when Anna had no idea.

“It’s just that whenever I bring up Harry you act like I’m cheating on you with him, or that I’m doing something sneaky. If you have something that you want to say to me about this Niall, then please spit it out because I am sick of feeling like I’m doing something wrong when I want to hang out with my friend.”

“No baby, you aren’t doing anything wrong. I just see the way that Harry looks at you and I don’t know, I get jealous.” Niall defended quickly.

“Have you noticed how I look at you and how I look at Harry?” Anna asked through a heavy sigh. “Because I know that I look at Harry like my friend, and you like my boyfriend.”

“I know. I know. I just get jealous.” Niall agreed, knowing that he shouldn’t have brought it up again.

“Harry looks at me like a friend. We are friends. That’s all Niall.” Anna reassured him, Niall shook his head, she didn’t know the truth, she was happy being unaware of Harry’s feelings for her.

“I know baby. I’m sorry. Have dinner with Harry, he would really appreciate that.”

“Thank you Niall, but I don’t need your permission.” Anna laughed lightly.

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you Niall. Now go get on a plane.”

“Ok. I’ll see you in a few days. I love you.” Niall repeated.

“So you’ve said.” Anna giggled.

“Bye love.” Niall hung up the phone grinning as he picked up his bag and made his way to his plane.

—

“Harrrrreh!” Anna yelled into the phone as Harry picked up.

“Anna banana.” He laughed in answer.

“Dinner tonight? How are you feeling?” Anna asked, she’d just finished her meetings and needed something fun to do.

“Much better, someone dropped off a very lovely gift basket to make me feel better.” Harry replied.

“Well that was lovely weren’t they?” Anna laughed.

“Extremely.”

“When are you going home?” Anna asked as she made her way to her bus stop.

“Saturday.” Harry answered. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“You know, if we have dinner, we could just talk about this tonight.”

There was a long pause on the phone.

“Do you not want to have dinner?” Anna asked feeling slightly hurt.

“I do Anna. I do.” Harry answered hurriedly.

“Settled then. I’ll come to yours now. See you soon.” Before Harry could respond Anna had hung up.

Harry quickly opened a new message to Niall.

-Anna wants to have dinner tonight. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t know how. I’m sorry mate. I’ll tell her up not feeling up for it.-

Niall’s response was quick, surprising Harry. –It’s fine Mate. She spoke to me about it. I’m trying not to overreact to things. You’re friends. It’s ok.-

Harry stared at his phone for a long time looking at the message he’d received from Niall. It was such a change to the last conversation he’d had with him.

-OK Man. If you are sure. You can trust me.- Harry replied eventually.

-Thanks for letting me know.- Was Niall’s final reply, when Harry heard a knock on his door, a smile lighting up his face knowing that he was able to spend some time with the woman he loved.

—

Niall sat at the dining room table as his mother served dinner, his knees bouncing nervously.

“Niall love, what’s wrong?” Maura asked as she sat next to him.

“Nothing mum. I’m fine. Looks great.” Niall looked down at the food in front of him.

“You look like you need a meal.” Maura said squeezing his hand before they started eating.  
Niall’s knees continued to bounce with nerves throughout dinner, what were Anna and Harry doing? What were they talking about? Were they talking about him? Was Harry making a move on her? Were they drinking?

“Niall!” His mothers voice snapped him out of his thought.

“Hmm?” He hummed in response.

“I can see you’re not right. What’s wrong love?” Maura answered shaking her head at her son.

“Just excited about you meeting Anna I guess.” Niall covered.

“I’ve met her before.” Maura reminded him.

“Yeah but not as my girlfriend.” Niall smiled at his mother.

“What do you think you’re Dad’s going to say?” Maura asked. “You know how protective he is over you boys.” She shook her head smiling at him.

“He’ll be fine.” Niall shook his head as he started to clear the table.

“What about Anna? You’re introducing her to the whole family.” Maura reminded him.

“Do you think it’s too much pressure?” Niall asked as he started to stack the dirty dishes in the sink.

“No…” Maura paused, “Well maybe.”

Niall started to laugh. “She’ll be fine Mum.”

“It’s just a lot.” She sighed.

“She’ll be fine Mum.” Niall repeated.

“You love her?”

Niall paused. He never had conversations like this with his mother, but then he’d never brought home a girl before, nothing as serious as Anna.

“I do.” He said quietly.

Niall looked up to see his mother smiling widely at him.

“What?” Niall laughed.

“I’m just happy.” Maura smiled at him before hugging him tightly. “Love you baby boy.” She laughed when she heard his groan in response.

—

“How did you get here so fast?” Harry asked as he opened the door and let Anna in.

“Caught the bus. It is so cold outside.” Anna laughed putting down her bags and shrugging off her thick coat and hanging it up.

“Come give me a hug, I’m freezing.” She said opening her arms. Harry immediately pulled her into him and picked her up slightly making her squeal.

“I’ve missed you Anna.” He breathed into her hair.

“Missed you too Mr. Styles.” Anna said as they separated.

“Where did you want to go for dinner?” Harry asked as she followed him through his house.

“We could stay in if you like. It is actually freezing outside and I don’t really fancy going out again. Have you still got food here?”

“I got home a day ago. No I haven’t eaten all the food you stocked for me.” Harry laughed.

“Well good. Let me make something for you and we can have a night in, yeah.” Anna said as she nudged his shoulder and made her way to his kitchen.

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you?” Harry laughed as Anna looked in his fridge and started to pull out ingredients.

“I always do.” She said over her shoulder. “How do you feel about spaghetti?”

“I feel good about it.” Harry replied.

“Good, that’s what we are having.” Anna laughed as she pulled out a pot and pan.

“How do I help?” Harry asked, ready for a night with Anna.

—

Niall had left his mothers and was now alone in his house. For some reason it felt emptier than usual, probably due to the thoughts of Anna and Harry together without him. He wondered if they went out for dinner, if they were going to be seen by someone. Would they get photographed together? Would Niall have to deal with the same jealousy that he felt last time he saw their photos together, the same jealousy that always sat at the back of his mind?

He’d been dealing with it for months, but something about tonight was going to make it boil over to a breaking point. He knew how angry Anna would be if she knew that he was worried about what was happening and so he continued to try to repress it. Keeping his thoughts on the fact that after tomorrow he would have Anna all to himself for a full week. He couldn’t help it. Picking up his phone he dialed Anna’s number. He just needed to hear her voice.

—

“Niall!” Anna answered excitedly; Niall could hear Harry’s deep laughter in the background.

“Hey baby.” He answered letting out the breath he’d been holding.

“What are you doing? Do you want to talk to Harry?” Anna’s voice was bright and joyous.

“Where are you?”

“At Harry’s. We decided to stay in. It’s freezing in London.” Anna answered, laughing sharply at something and shushing Harry.

Niall’s stomach leapt at the fact that they wouldn’t be photographed together, and dropped at the fact that they were at Harry’s house alone with each other.

“Are you having a good night?” Niall tried to mask the sadness in his voice, but he knew that he was failing.

“When Harry stops being a dork, maybe.” Anna laughed loudly.

“What’s he doing?” Niall asked sharply, concerned. Harry has promised he wouldn’t make a move on her, but if he hurt her in anyway, Niall would… he would…. he didn’t know.

“Nothing, nothing, it’s fine Niall. We are just hanging out.” Anna comforted quickly hearing the stress in Niall’s voice.

“Have you had anything to drink?” Niall was still concerned.

“Yes Mother.” Anna laughed, Niall could imagine her rolling her eyes. “Just some wine with dinner.”

“Ok, well be careful. I want you in Ireland in one piece.” Niall smiled at her response.

“I was thinking I would come in three pieces. Glad we cleared that up.” Anna laughed.

“You’re silly.” Niall shook his head grinning.

“Have a good night Niall. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” Anna said clearly wanting to wrap up the conversation.

“Bye Anna. I love you.”

“BYE NIALL!” Niall heard Harry yell from the background.

“Love you too. Bye.” Anna laughed before she hung up.

Niall lay down on his bed, flicking through the photos of Anna on his phone. He was glad she was having a good time; he just wished that it was with him.

—

“What?” Anna asked smiling at Harry as she hung up the phone.

“It’s nothing.” Harry shook his head. His smile had dropped as she’s said goodbye to Niall, reaffirming her love for him. He knew that Niall was checking in on them, still concerned about them spending time together.

“Harry you can tell me anything, you know that right?” Anna asked seriously.

“I know.” Harry nodded.

“Ok, well I know something is up with you. Do you want to tell me what it is?”

Anna hardly missed anything, which is one of the reasons she was such a brilliant teacher. She could tell by the posture of a student that there weren’t okay. Harry smiled at her sadly. Was this the time that he admitted he had feelings for her? What would Niall say? What would Anna say? Would she hate him for it? Would things change? He couldn’t stand it if things changed between them. The only way he would be happy if things changed is if she admitted her love for him and they ran away together, without Niall getting hurt somehow. But that scenario was completely unlikely. It was far more likely for him to tell her, she would leave immediately and never speak to him again. Harry didn’t want that. So no, now was not the time that he told her how he felt.  
Harry looked up to see Anna studying him.

“Did Lou ever tell you about the crush I had on you?” Anna asked suddenly.

“What?” Harry’s jaw dropped as his heart and lungs contracted into his throat.

“Yeah, when I first came about the group. You caught my eye a bit.” Anna giggled blushing.

“What didn’t you say anything?” Harry asked aghast.

“What was I going to say?” Anna laughed, “’Hi Harry, how you going, I’ve got a bit of a crush on you?’ Yeah that was never going to happen.”

“Things could have been so different.” Harry mumbled.

“What was that?” Anna asked, her smile dropping slightly.

“Nothing.” Harry shook his head and smiled at her, pleased when her smile returned. “Why did you start dating Niall?”

“Well I started liking him didn’t I?” Anna scoffed, “You started dating Kelly, and I knew that you weren’t interested.” Anna shrugged.

Harry’s stomach felt like it was sitting at his feet. He had no idea how she felt about him.

“Did Lou know?” Harry asked.

“Oh goodness no!” Anna replied shaking her head, “She might have said something and I would never have been able to look at you in the eyes again. I told her when Niall and I started dating.”

Harry smiled warmly at her; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing from her.

“But I’m glad for the way things are.” Anna continued after a brief pause. Harry looked up at her quickly. “I mean that I am glad that we are as close as we are. Our friendship Harry, it means so much to me.” Harry nodded trying to agree with her but all he could think was how different things would be, if he’d only known.

—

Niall’s knees bounced as he waited for Anna to get off the plane. He couldn’t wait to see her, hold her, kiss her, be with her. Finally he saw her face as she searched for him through the crowds. Her eyes locked on with his own and she darted towards him, ducking and weaving through people and jumping into his arms.

“You’re here!” Niall exclaimed squeezing her tightly, not caring what people thought.

“I’m here.” She laughed happily. “You might need to let me go soon though.”

“Right sorry.” Niall blushed as they separated. “Did you check anything in?”

“I’m only here for a couple days. No I didn’t” Anna shook her head, and Niall’s stomach clenched as the reminder of how little time they had together.

“Come on, I want to get you home.” Niall happily took her bag in one hand and gripped her hand tightly with the other. “Me mam can’t wait to see you.”

“Should I be scared?” Anna replied smiling, her voice betraying her nerves.

“Of course not. We’ll go to mine first, then to Mum’s if that’s ok?”

“As long as I am with you, everything’s fine.” Anna smiled as they reached the car.

—

“What’s up knob?” Gemma greeted Harry as he walked into his family home.

“Why must you be so mean to me?” Harry wailed as he shook off his coat.

“I’m your big sister. It’s what I do.” Gemma replied seriously.

“Fair enough. As your younger brother, come here so I can pull your hair.”

“Get away.” Gemma laughed before pulling him into a hug. “You good?” She asked as they separated.

“Yeah, been a bit poorly, but I’m fine.” Harry shrugged.

“Mum’s been going mental, she’s so happy you’re here.” Gemma started to walk through the house.

“Told you I’m the favourite.” Harry teased as he followed her.

“Such a knob.” Gemma laughed as they entered the kitchen and their mother immediately embraced Harry.

“Sweetheart!” She exclaimed.

“Hi Mum.” Harry replied with the small amount of breath she hadn’t squeezed out of him.

“Hungry?” She asked brushing the hair out of his eyes, “Your hair has gotten so long.”

“I’m okay, and I like it.” Harry mumbled

“Hippie.” Harry heard Gemma say under her breath grinning at him.

“Let me make you something.” Anne said dropping her hands from her sons’ shoulders and practically bouncing to the refrigerator.

—

“Wow Niall.” Anna said awestruck as she walked into his house.

“It’s not that big.” Niall grinned at her.

“Yeah, but you are so normal, I forget that you have all this.” Anna indicated the massive house.

“Come on.” Niall rolled his eyes, taking her hand and leading her through the house.

— 

“So how are you Love?” Anne asked as she sat opposite Harry at the dinner table.

“’M fine.” Harry shrugged, as Robin and Gemma were lost in their own conversation.

“You don’t look it.” Anne commented.

“Just been a bit sick.” Harry shrugged again, pushing a lone pea around with his fork.

“It’s not that.” Anne shook her head in disagreement, “You’re eyes. What’s wrong sweetheart? Is it Kelly?”

Harry looked up at the name, “No.” He shook his head vehemently. “Definitely not.”

“Can I be honest with you?” Anne asked quietly, her eyes darting to Robin and Gemma who were still deep in their discussion.

“Aren’t you always?” Harry sighed.

“I try, but now I am going to be very honest. I never liked Kelly.” Anne’s cheeks tinted pink as she tried to watch Harry’s reaction to her words.

“Apparently no one did.” Harry grumbled. The hurt of Kelly betraying him completely was still a quite raw.

“I am so happy you are home for Christmas.” Anna said earnestly after a brief pause.

“Where else would I be?” Harry asked confused.

“When you were with Kelly, I honestly didn’t know.” Anna admitted.

“I’ll always come home mum. Promise.” Harry looked up at her again smiling.

—

“Thank you Maura, that was delicious.” Anna said standing up to clear the plates.

“Now, you sit down right now. You are a guest, you don’t clear the plates.” There was a brief pause. “Niall get the plates.” Anna snorted with laughter as Niall stood up and started to clear away the table groaning.

“Honestly I don’t mind at all.” Anna smiled.

“I know you don’t. But Niall hates doing the dishes.” Maura grinned at her. Niall walked in between the dinning room and the kitchen clearing the table. He’d hardly stopped smiling through dinner hearing how well his mother and his girlfriend got along. He didn’t mind doing the dishes as long as he could hear Anna’s laugh as they talked.

“How is the teaching?” Maura asked as Niall left the room again.

“It’s going well. Has its ups and downs, but I love it.” Anna answered truthfully.

“What about with Niall on tour?” Maura pressed.

“He wouldn’t make much of a teacher.” Anna grinned, pleased to see Maura smile in response. “Some days are harder than others, but we still talk.” Anna shrugged.

“It takes a strong woman to stick around, and I am extremely pleased that you do.” Maura leaned forward lowering her voice. “You keep him grounded and I could never thank you enough for that.”

Anna’s heart caught in her chest. She wasn’t expecting such a serious conversation so soon. Anna nodded and smiled politely as Niall entered the room again.

“It’s getting late. We should head home.” Niall announced leaning on the back of Anna’s chair.

“If you’re ready.” She smiled at him.

“Will you be here for Christmas Lunch?” Maura asked as they put on their coats.

“Christmas lunch here, dinner at Dad’s.” Niall nodded helping Anna shrug on hers. “Greg’s doing the same I think.”

“Theo’s gotten so big.” Maura mused as she watched them. “It was lovely to see you Anna.” Maura pulled her into a motherly bone-crushing hug.

“You too Maura. See you tomorrow.” Anna hugged her tightly back. It was hard not to love Niall’s mother, a heart as big as her house.

“Drive safe.” She said before shutting the door as Niall and Anna made their way back to his car.

—

“Christmas Eve.” Niall murmured as they drove back to his house.

“I know. How does time go so quickly?” Anna wondered as they drove through the quiet streets, flurries of snow falling softly around the car.

“I don’t know.” Niall shrugged as they pulled into his driveway. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too.” Anna grinned as she undid her seatbelt.

“I’m so happy you’re here with me.” He continued as they walked toward the house.

“Where else would I be?” Anna smiled at him as he unlocked the door.

‘With Harry.’ Niall’s immediate thought made his stomach knot; recovering quickly he answered, “I don’t know.”

“There’s no where else I’d rather be.” Anna shrugged off her coat and hung it up shivering at the stillness of the house. “Well maybe somewhere warmer.” She laughed   
before heading toward the bedroom.


	19. Happy Christmas

“Happy Christmas.” Niall’s raspy voice was the first thing Anna heard as she opened her eyes.

Stretching out, but restricted by Niall’s arm across her stomach Anna groaned out a half hearted ‘Happy Christmas.’

“Sleep well?” Niall asked, propped up on his elbow he studied her face.  
Anna smiled before yawning and turning to properly see him. His blonde hair stuck in all different directions from his sleep, but his blue eyes were clear as he studied her.

“Wass’ time?” Anna asked through another yawn.

“Nearly 10.” Niall answered happily.

“10!” Anna sat up quickly.

“It was a big night.” Niall grinned as Anna blushed at the memories of hands and lips and hurried movements. They had definitely missed each other.

“Good point.” She hummed before rolling and cuddling into his bare chest his fingertips running lightly up and down her back.

“Not that I don’t love this, but we should probably head to Mum’s.” Niall sighed after a while.

Anna nodded against his skin, she’d started to doze off again.

“Mmkay. I’m getting up.” She whispered, making no movement.

“You know, I can’t move till you do.” Niall chuckled, in no hurry.

“In that case.” Anna snuggled further into him warm body making him laugh harder.

“Come on then.” Anna groaned as Niall playfully nudged her ribs with his fingers. “I’m going, I’m going.” She smiled as she pushed herself out of the bed and to the bathroom for a shower.

—

Harry stared at his phone as the Christmas celebrations happened around him. Anne was running around the kitchen making sure everyone had enough food, Robin was coaxing the fire and Gemma was singing carols at the top of her lungs, while Harry sat in silence staring at his phone. He’d had the overwhelming urge to call Anna all day, just to hear her voice, to wish her Happy Christmas, to tell her that he loved her, with every fiber of his being, that he couldn’t live without her, that he didn’t care if she didn’t love him back, that he just needed her to know. But that was all fantasy. He couldn’t do it. More, he promised Niall he wouldn’t do it. But sending her a Christmas message… that was a thing that friends did. He could just send her a message. Just to say Happy Christmas. She might not reply, probably too busy with Niall’s family, and that was fine. She was with Niall, she deserved to be happy and she deserved to be surrounded by love. Love. Harry turned the word around in his head. He could surround her in his love. He could take care of her, he could love her, he could show her every day how much she meant to him. Harry felt his shoulder being shaken by Gemma.

“Earth to Harry. You still with us?”

“Huh?” Harry stuttered, “Yeah, what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, you’ve just been staring at your phone for about 18 hours.” Gemma flopped down on the couch next to him.

“Have not.” Harry replied shortly.

“Is this about Anna?” Gemma lowered her voice.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked suddenly.

“Come on Harry. I’m not blind, or deaf you know.” Gemma rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Harry denied.

“Harry, you’ve spoken about Anna non-stop since you got home. You haven’t even noticed. ‘She took care of me, she came to visit on tour, we had dinner the other night.’ You don’t shut up about her. So my question is, why aren’t you dating her?”

“She’s dating Niall.” Harry mumbled.

“Geeze.” Gemma sighed heavily, “Out of all your ramblings, somehow that never came up.”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t like her like that anyway.”

“Keep telling yourself that buddy.” Gemma said sarcastically. “Now stop moping at your phone and come get in the Christmas spirit.”

Sighing heavily Harry put his phone down, no message sent, and went to help his mother in the kitchen.

—

Anna laughed as she chased Theo around the table, his high-pitched squeals bouncing off the walls.

“I don’t know who is more of a kid watching these two.” Maura laughed as Theo came hurtling around the corner as he squealed “Nanna, Nanna” for Anna. She managed to scoop him up in her arms and he continued to giggle and squeal as she tickled him.

“Come on big kid, we need to eat.” Niall hugged Anna from behind as she put the wriggling toddler back on his feet.

“Running Nanna.” Theo yelled as he took off again, his little legs bouncing him up and down. Anna laughed as she watched him take off.

“Food. I’m starving.” Anna moaned as she smelt the roast pork that Maura had taken out of the oven moments before.

“Nanna?” Theo came running back into the room surprised that Anna hadn’t followed him. Clinging to her legs he tugged on her dress.

“Running Nanna.” He stated, clearly confused as to why she wasn’t following him.

“Lunch time little man.” Anna said crouching down to his height.

“Running.” He replied starting to take off again but looking over his shoulder still confused as to why she wasn’t following him.

Anna shook her head smiling at him. “Food.” She could sense it before it even started. The bottom lip jutted out and started to quiver. His left foot stomped heavily on the carpeted floor. “Running Nanna.” He wailed before the tears started. Anna still crouched on the ground held out her hand to him and he tearfully walked back to her.

“No more tears Theo. We are going to have some lunch, then maybe some more running after.”

“No.” The toddler stomped his foot again.

“No tantrums.” Anna said sternly. “Tantrums and no more running.”

Theo’s pudgy hand wiped some of the tears from his cheeks.

“No more tears. No more sad.” Anna nodded.

Theo shook his head. “No, sad.”

“Good man. Let’s have some food shall we.” Anna stood up picking him up with her.

“That is honestly the fastest anyone has ever stopped him from having a tantrum!” Gregg said in awe as he pulled up Theo’s high chair.

“It’s nothing really.” Anna shrugged as she seated him.

“You had your teacher voice on.” Niall grinned at her.

“No I didn’t.” Anna laughed sitting down next to him at the table.

“You did. That’s why he stopped crying.” Niall disagreed.

“Whatever.” Anna rolled her eyes at him as everyone else sat down to begin Christmas lunch.

—

“Have you messaged her yet?” Gemma leant over the Harry while the family chatted loudly around them.

“Not yet.” Harry muttered.

“You should you know.” Gemma nudged him with her elbow.

“I thought you weren’t pleased with the whole situation.” Harry said his eyes darting around the table, wary of anyone, especially Anne, listening in.

“It’s not ideal. But I can tell that something is up and I imagine that it will be over as soon as you speak to her.” Gemma replied.

“Maybe.” Harry conceded. Shaking his head slightly, he was going to enjoy his family time. He would send her a message later.

—

Anna bounced on her toes nervously as they waiting for Bobby to answer the door.

“Nervous?” Niall asked as he put his arm around her waist.

“Is that obvious?” Anna laughed, her voice shaking slightly.

“A little bit.” Niall laughed squeezing her slightly.

“I just want him to like me.” Anna’s hands were fidgeting.

“I love you. How could he not?” Niall answered as Bobby opened the door to them.

“Happy Christmas!”

—

The family was sitting around the Christmas fire, snacking on some of the left over pudding. Harry was stuffed full of food, he couldn’t eat another bite. He would be feeling completely content if he could just work up the courage to message Anna. He couldn’t understand why it was so hard for him to just send her a message. They’d had dinner the other night and everything was fine. Was it because she admitted that she used to have a crush on him, and here he was, completely head over heels for her? Definitely. Harry sighed heavily. Every bone in his body wanted to tell her how he felt, but he’d promised Niall he wouldn’t say anything. He would keep his word.

“Send the damn message.” Gemma groaned from next to him.

“I am.” Harry smiled as he pulled out his phone.

-Happy Christmas Anna x-

“That’s it? That’s all your typing? All that angst for that?” Gemma scoffed as she read the phone over his shoulder.

“What am I meant to say?” Harry asked erasing the message.

“I don’t know. “ Gemma exclaimed, “It’s been on your mind all day. I thought you might have thought of something more poetic than that.”

“Told you it was hard.”

“You’re only making it hard on yourself. If that’s all you want to say then just send it.” Gemma shrugged.

“I want to say a lot more but I can’t.” Harry replied quietly.

“You say what you want Harry.” Gemma put her arm around him and squeezed it slightly.

Harry stared at the phone in his hands before typing again.

—

“You managed to calm Theo down. I’m impressed.” Bobby laughed loudly.

“I don’t understand why everyone is so impressed by that.” Anna answered honestly. She saw so much of Niall in Bobby; their laugh was almost identical. Theo lay asleep in Anna’s arms, refusing to go to sleep anywhere else.

“Think you’ve got some competition Nialler.” Bobby laughed, indicating Theo and Anna with a nod.

“Should I be concerned?” Niall asked smiling at Anna.

Theo sighed in his sleep snuggling further into Anna’s arms. “Very.”

“I’m so glad to meet you Anna. Feels like Niall’s been hiding you away.” Bobby continued making Niall flush slightly. Anna smiled in reply not sure how she should respond.

“The amount he’s talked about you. I feel like I already know you.”

“What do you mean the amount he’s talked about me?” Anna asked curiously.

Niall cleared his throat loudly. “We probably don’t need to talk about this right now I think.”

“I think we do.” Anna counted with a laugh.

“How long have you known the lads?” Bobby asked, his blue eyes mischievous.

“I think, almost three years.” Anna answered.

“And how long have you and Niall been dating?” Bobby asked.

“Almost eight months, isn’t it?” Anna replied.

“Do you know how long he’s been talking about you?”

“We really don’t need to be talking about this you know.” Niall interrupted.

“Six months?” Anna grinned.

“Try three years.” Bobby replied with a laugh, the light flush on Niall’s cheeks went to a full blush and he hid his face against the side of Anna that wasn’t holding Theo.

“Have you now?” Anna giggled trying to get him to show his face without waking Theo.

“Yeah I think we can move on from this conversation now.” Niall’s voice was muffled from its hiding place.

“I’m just saying, he should have brought you around sooner.” Bobby grinned at Anna.

“Well I’m here now.” Anna conceded as Niall brought his head back up, blush still very apparent on his cheeks.

“Can we go yet?” Niall whispered so that only Anna could hear. “Think I’ve been embarrassed enough.”

“Let me put Theo down and we can.” Anna replied kissing him lightly on the cheek before standing and shifting the sleeping child in her arms.

“Second room on the left.” Bobby pointed seeing what Anna was looking for.

—

“I like her Niall. A lot. You’ve down well lad.” Bobby clapped Niall on the shoulder before pulling him into a fatherly hug.

“She’s pretty special.” Niall agreed.

“It was lovely meeting you at last.” Anna said as she entered the room and saw that Niall was ready to go.

“You too Anna. Don’t be a stranger just because Niall is.” Bobby grinned, his eyes shining with pride at his youngest son.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Anna smiled.

—

“How you feeling?” Niall asked once they were back in the car heading back to Niall’s house.

“I’m fine.” Anna answered honestly. His family had been so warm and welcoming, she missed her own back in England.

“You did so well. I’m so proud of you.” Niall grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly as he drove.

“No idea you had such a crush on me.” Anna laughed.

“Yes and we’ll never speak of it again.” Niall grinned, some of the blush returning to his cheeks.

“Oh, we will talk about it often.” Anna chuckled as he phone buzzed.

“Ooh. A message from Harry!” Anna said brightly opening the message and smiling while reading it.

“I might give him a quick call to say Happy Christmas.” She said happily, missing the flit of stress across Niall’s face as she pressed his number.

—

“I sent it.” Harry sighed putting the phone down next to him.

“Good job. You want a prize?” Gemma yawned.

“What are you offering?” Harry laughed.

“Nothing, you sent a message you knob.” Gemma rubbed her eyes tiredly.

“She’s calling me!” Harry said with a shout. “What do I do?”

“Answer it, idiot.” Gemma sat up quickly, all traces of her previously sleepiness gone.

“Put it on speaker.” She hissed as Harry answered. He shook his head violently at her while she nodded in return.

—

“Anna!” He answered vibrantly. Gemma studied her brother as he spoke. Gemma had met her a few times in passing, she knew that she was quite good friends with Lou. Harry’s voice was softer when he spoke to Anna, his eyes brighter, his laugh coming easier. It was as if Harry suddenly had his head above water and he could breathe again. Gemma wasn’t paying any attention to anything he said to her, just the way that he looked when speaking to her. He looked… happy, certainly happier than he had all night. He was in love with her. There was no denying it. Gemma wondered how Anna could be so oblivious to it, when it was so blatantly obvious to her. Gemma had never liked Kelly, and didn’t like how Harry looked when he was with her, this however, was the complete opposite. He looked so much younger, much less tired and worn out. He looked like Harry again.

—

“Was there a reason you were staring me down just now?” Harry asked after saying goodbye to Anna. Harry’s heart beat wildly in his chest after speaking to her. She’d spoke about Christmas with Niall and playing with Theo and meeting Bobby, but Harry didn’t care, he was just thrilled to hear her voice, and that she had called him.

“You love her.” Gemma stated bluntly.

“What?”

“You love her.” Gemma repeated seriously. “A hell of a lot more than whatever you felt for Kelly. But Anna, you love her.”

“You can’t know from hearing one side of a conversation.” Harry shook his head.

“To be honest, I didn’t hear any of the conversation. But just watching you, you love her. I’m surprised she doesn’t know.” Gemma replied.

“I don’t love her. It’s a crush. It will pass.” Harry tried to shrug it off, annoyed at how well his sister knew him.

“It won’t Harry and I’m sorry.” Gemma sighed, pulling him in for a hug, which he gladly accepted.


	20. Old Friends, Old Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story starts to have some NSFW in it now... for example, this chapter starts with it. I'll add a note to the beginning of each chapter that has it so that you are pre-warned.

Niall slammed the door shut with his foot before pulling Anna towards him and claiming her lips.

“Need you.” He mumbled against her lips as his hands greedily opened her coat and ran up and down her back. Anna shivered in response as she shrugged off her coat. Separating momentarily Niall kicked off his shoes and threw his coat on the ground.

“Eager?” Anna laughed as she took off her own shoes.

“Just need you.” Niall shrugged grinning slyly at her and taking her hand.

Niall pushed Anna against the bedroom door in his haste to kiss her. The conversation that Anna had with Harry had thrown him off. He needed Anna. He needed to know that she was his and only his. He knew that his jealousy was getting the better of him, but right now he didn’t care. Every laugh that had spilled from Anna’s lips at something that Harry said was another knife in his chest. He needed her, needed to feel her mouth on his, her mouth on his body, he needed to be with her, loving her completely and her loving him. Niall’s fingers made quick work of the buttons at the back of her dress and he pulled it slowly off her shoulders.

“I didn’t even feel you do that.” Anna whispered in between kisses.

“’M good with my hands.” Niall grinned as he pulled his shirt over his head.

“We’ll see.” Anna smirked before moving her hands agonizingly slowly over his bare chest. Goosebumps raised in their wake.

“Can’t wait.” Niall groaned as he pulled her flush against him and walked her backwards until the back of her knees hit the mattress.

Laughing Anna fell backwards on the bed, her dress long gone, only her underwear covering her body. Niall’s eyes ran longingly over her body, he could feel himself flush and harden as he removed his jeans.

“You are so beautiful Anna.” Niall breathed as he moved towards her.

“Not too bad yourself.” Anna blushed.

“Can you ever be serious?” Niall laughed before he started to kiss down her neck.

“No.” She giggled as his tongue tickled her as he moved slowly down her body.

“I’m trying to love you.” Niall laughed looking up at her slowly.

“I’m not stopping you.” Anna’s breath was starting to get heavier as Niall moved down her body.

“So perfect.” Niall kissed between her breasts please to hear her sharp intake of breath. “Wearing too many clothes.” Niall said before wrapping his arm around her back and lifting her slightly.

“There’s easier way to remove that you know.” Anna giggled.

“I’m doing just fine.” Niall smiled before rolling them over so that she was blanketing his body with hers. “See!” He said triumphantly as he unclipped her bra and pulled the straps down her arms.

“Very clever.” Anna’s voice came out raspy as Niall nibbled on her collarbone lightly. Niall’s hands wanted to be everywhere at once. Running over the softness of her back, feeling the fullness of her breast in his hand, stroking her wet heat. He needed to be enveloped by her. Rolling them again he lay beside her while she lay on her back. His lips, tongue and teeth wreaked havoc over her body as he attempted to taste and claim everything that he could. The tightness in his boxes was growing painful, especially as her breaths were coming in gasps.

“Niall.” Her voice moaned lightly.

“Coming baby.” Niall groaned as he moved to position himself over her.

“You might need to remove these.” Anna laughed throatily snapping the waistband of his boxes.

“Right yeah.” Niall sat up on his knees and removed the material.

“Love you Anna.” He breathed as he bent down to her again.

“I love you.” Anna held his face gently in his hands, placing a sweet kiss against his lips as he sunk into her easily. Niall finally felt the relief of the tension he’d been holding in him all day. She was his sanctuary, she kept him calm, she grounded him. Watching her interact with his family and the way that she was with Theo was only increasing his love for her. Having her warmth wrapped around him and her breathy moans in his ear was enough to make him come completely undone almost immediately. But he wouldn’t, he would hold on for as long as he could, until she’d hit her peak, until she totally understood how much he loved her. Slowly he began to move in her, her body milking his slowly. Her wet slick heat sending tingles down to his toes.

“Niall, I’m not going to last long.” Anna gasped after a particularly long and hard thrust.

“Me neither baby.” Niall groaned as he felt her muscles clench around him holding him to her. Anna’s breath shuddered from her chest as Niall continued to thrust into her deeply.

“Niall.” Anna’s voice started to get louder.

“Come on Anna.” Niall encouraged, he could feel her breasts moving against the heat of his chest.

“Niall.” Anna shouted as she came undone, the ease of which he moved in her now and the final clench around him as her muscles contracted caused his body to give out and he finished with a hard grunt.

“Niall. Niall I love you.” Anna panted as Niall collapsed against her.

“I love you so much.” He gasped trying to catch his breath.

“Happy Christmas.” Anna said weakly as Niall slowly pulled out of her, immediately missing her warmth. Niall laughed as he lay on his back with sweat beading across his forehead. Anna curled into his side and together they fell asleep, satisfactorily spent.

—

Harry could feel her moving against him, her mouth on his neck, her hands gripping him tightly as she pumped him slowly. “Harry.” She whispered his name and he shuddered as her hand started to move faster. She was so beautiful, hair falling in her eyes as she worked on him.

“Love you so much… Ahh” Her name was caught in his throat as she bent her head and started to suck. Her tongue lying flat against his shaft as she moved. The heat of her mouth was nothing in comparison to the heat that was between her legs. Her fingers expertly and nimbly played with the rest of him as she moved. His gasps were coming quickly, he wouldn’t last long if she kept this kind of pressure on him and she was not relenting any time soon.

“Baby, if you keep going, I’m going too…” Harry didn’t complete his sentence as he came undone in her mouth, his load shooting down her throat and she swallowed easily and continued to suck.

“Anna…” Harry breathed. “Anna, I love you.” Harry was surprised when he didn’t feel her against him, why wasn’t she crawling up his body to hug him. Harry’s eyes snapped open. He was in his childhood bedroom, alone, his hand sticky with his release. He was alone. Again. He was alone.

—

“Harry?” Anna croaked, answering the phone.

“Anna.” Harry’s voice was breathless.

“You ok love?” Anna sat up in the bed clutching a sheet around her naked body.

“Yeah, just…” Harry paused for a long time. “Just needed to hear your voice.”

“Harry love, you don’t sound ok. Tell me what’s wrong.” Niall groaned as he woke up beside Anna, hearing her voice.

“I’m fine. Just…” Harry’s voice shuddered.

“Harry.” Anna’s voice was soft.

“I’m alone Anna.” Harry’s voice was thick.

“Oh Harry. You aren’t. I promise you, you aren’t.” Anna’s voice was hushed as Niall slowly opened one eye. Anna smiled a tight-lipped smile in response.

“Why did she cheat on me Anna?”

“I don’t know sweetheart. She’s an idiot.” Anna rubbed her eyes with her free hand.

Harry mumbled something.

“What Harry?”

“Why can’t I have someone that loves me?” Harry’s voice was low and rough.

“Harry, please don’t think like that. You are surrounded by people that love you.” Niall woke up properly and sat up next to Anna.

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Harry, I love you, Niall loves you, Lou, Lux, your family.” Anna listed people off.

“That’s not what I mean Anna.”

“I know sweetheart.” Anna’s heart broke. “I’m here for you.” She was lost for words.

“I’m sorry for calling so early.” Harry mumbled.

“Call me any time. I’ll be back in London in a few days. We can have lunch or dinner, or breakfast.” Anna rambled.

Niall got out of bed quickly and slammed the bathroom door after him.

“Thanks Anna.” Harry said quietly. “I’m sorry. I was just having a moment.”

“It’s fine.” Anna reassured him, watching as Niall came back out the bathroom. “You call anytime you need.” Anna was confused as Niall rolled his eyes as he looked for something to wear.

“Thanks Anna. Talk soon.”

“Bye Harry.” Anna hung up the phone and watched as Niall threw clothes around the room.

“You ok Niall?” Anna asked cautiously as he put on a singlet.

“Fine.” He replied shortly.

“Liar, liar pants on fire.” Anna sung under her breath as she got out of bed.

“What was that?” Niall half shouted spinning around quickly and staring at her with steely gaze.

“I’m calling you out on your lying. But if you don’t want to talk about it right now, that’s fine.” Anna replied as she entered the bathroom.

“Whatever.” She heard Niall mumble before she turned on the shower.

—

Freshly showered and feeling like a new woman Anna exited the bathroom to find something to eat for breakfast. Niall was in the kitchen slamming doors as he looked for something.

“Ready to talk?” Anna asked as she turned on the kettle.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Niall said angrily.

“OK.” Anna shrugged as she started to make a cup of tea. The silence in the kitchen was deafening as Anna continued to make her breakfast and Niall stood fuming in the corner. Anna sat happily at the kitchen bench as she slowly drank her cup of tea, ignoring Niall completely. He started to slam things in the kitchen again. Anna drummed her fingers against the bench top humming happily.

“Jesus.” Niall groaned.

Anna stopped humming but continued to tap her fingers on the table absentmindedly.

“Could you just shut up for once Anna?” Niall snapped, his jaw dropping as soon as he realized what he’d said.

Anna stood up immediately pouring her half full cup in the sink and made her way back to the bedroom.

“Anna.” Niall called after her, but she didn’t turn around.

Grabbing a bag from the room Anna picked up a coat before putting on some knee high boots. Niall was still standing in the kitchen when she walked past him toward the front door.

“Anna. I didn’t mean it.” Niall said following her through the house.

Wrapping a scarf around her neck and pulling on a beanie, Anna continued to ignore Niall as she opened the front door and slammed it shut behind her, hearing Niall yell out her name again.

\--

She had no idea where she was going to go, but anywhere was better than with Niall in a bad mood. It was still early in the morning and most of the town hadn’t woken up. The clean frozen air stung the parts of Anna’s face that weren’t covered by her scarf. Niall did have a temper, but it hardly came out around Anna. She was angry more than anything. They’d had a wonderful night together, but it seemed like she did something wrong for him to now be in such a foul mood. It was Boxing Day and not a lot of places would be open. Anna sighed as she trudged through the sleepy town. The crisp air clearing her head, she saw a small park down the road and headed towards it.

—

Niall paced around his house. He shouldn’t have snapped at Anna. It wasn’t her fault that he was so angry; it was Harry’s. Harry. Niall picked up his phone and dialed Harry’s number. It was engaged. Probably speaking to Anna. He had to find her. She didn’t know her way around the town and could get lost easily. He had to apologize, tell her what was wrong, he had to beg for her mercy, he was out of line and it was all Harry’s fault.

—

Anna sat on the park bench breathing in the calm clean air. She felt much calmer, less angry with Niall. Running her hands over her face she studied her surroundings. She had honestly no idea how to get back to Niall’s house, but for right now she didn’t care. She could feel the sun trying to warm up the snow around her, failing dismally. She smiled at her surroundings, enjoying the alone time.

—

Niall drove frantically through the town looking for Anna, she couldn’t have gotten too far on foot, but he couldn’t see her anywhere. He dialed her number but she didn’t answer and he didn’t blame her. He let the jealousy get the better of him, yet again. Pulling into a parking lot across the road from his childhood park he rested his head against the steering wheel in frustration. He just wanted to find her and kiss her. Looking up he laughed in relief as he saw her sitting on the park bench across the field. Shaking his head he got out of the car shivering at the cold around him.

—

Anna felt Niall sit down next to her rather than see him. There was a heavy silence surrounding them as they sat. Anna refused to be the first to say anything, so she continued to look at her surroundings. The town was starting to wake up.

“Anna?” Niall asked quietly. Still she refused to look at him. “I’m sorry Anna. I didn’t mean it.” He continued to her silence.

“OK.” She replied simply.

“You forgive me?” He asked hopefully.

Anna shook her head, “I didn’t say that.”

“Oh.” Anna could tell that Niall was fidgeting beside her. “Are you going to come home?”

“Not yet.” Anna answered still refusing to look at him.

“But you will?” Niall’s voice was quiet.

“I don’t intend on sleeping on a park bench if that’s what you are asking.”

“Ok.” Niall sat back on the park bench, he’d hardly thrown on enough clothes in his haste to run out of the house after her and he could feel the cold starting to seep into his bones.

“I won’t have you snap at me like that Niall.” Anna said suddenly. “You need to talk to me. I gave you the opportunity to say something and you refused. You don’t need to snap at me.”

“I know.” Niall nodded.

“I don’t think you do. It’s better for you to stay quiet until you can deal with what you are feeling than to snap at me. Because you are just bringing me down with you.” Anna continued.

“I know Anna. I’m sorry. Really.”

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?” Anna asked carefully turning her head to look at him properly.

“I don’t know. I was being an idiot.” He shook his head.

“There’s no denying that, but you can still tell me what’s bothering you.” Anna sighed as Niall smiled slightly.

“I was just getting jealous again. You first wake up in the morning and you’re talking to Harry, you’re telling him that you love him; you’re calling him pet names. I just snapped.”

Anna scoffed slightly rolling her eyes. “Niall.”

“I know, I know. I have no reason to be jealous.”

“No you don’t.” Anna cut him off. “Whose family did I meet yesterday? Who did I sleep with last night?”

“Mine, me.” Niall answered sheepishly.

“Exactly. Do you know how that makes me feel to hear that after yesterday, after last night? Harry was upset this morning. He called me, and because he is my friend” Anna emphasized the word, “I happily gave him the comfort he needed. I would have given you the exact same comfort and more if you’d only asked.”

“I know. Anna, I’m so sorry.” Niall repeated.

“It’s ok Niall. Just know that I won’t put up with this jealousy that’s happening without reason.” Anna moved to put her gloved hands on Niall’s bare hands.

“What if it wasn’t without reason? What if Harry did like you?” Niall asked suddenly, pleased that her hands were warming his.

“It would change nothing.” Anna answered simply. “I’m with you, not him. He’s my friend, nothing’s going to change that.”

“But when you hang out…” Niall trailed off.

“How much faith do you have in me Niall? You know that if anyone, friend or not, tried to make a move on me I would deny it. I’m faithful to you Niall. Only you.” Anna squeezed his hands.

“OK. I’m sorry. Please let’s go home, I’m bloody freezing.” Niall shivered.

“Yes.” Anna laughed standing up.

“I love you Anna.” Niall said joining her, not separating their joined hands.

“I love yo…”

“Niall Horan?” A woman who had been jogging, stopped suddenly in front of them interrupting Anna.

“Niall Horan is that you?” She repeated.

“Erm, yes.” Niall said shyly looking up at her, before his face split into a massive grin. “Hannah?”

“Niall!” She squealed. Niall dropped Anna’s hand and immediately hugged the stranger.

“It’s so good to see you. I had no idea you’d be back for Christmas!” She gushed as they separated.

“Of course I’d come back.” Niall grinned; he hadn’t picked up Anna’s hand again.

“Could have warned me! We need to have a pint!” Hannah replied, she had a faint blush on her cheeks, which could have been from the exercise; Anna didn’t miss the way her eyes ran up and down his body.

“Absolutely!” Niall agreed eagerly.

“Tonight?” Hannah asked, equally as eager.

“I’d love that!” Niall paused, as if he suddenly remembered Anna beside him, “Sorry this is Anna, Anna this is Hannah, we grew up together.”

“Lovely to meet you.” Anna smiled at Hannah and shook her hand.

“English!” Hannah replied in surprise. “Fame has changed you Niall.”

Anna’s smile froze in place as Niall laughed in response.

“Send me a text and we’ll catch up, that is if you still have my number.” She laughed lightly.

“Course I do.” Niall grinned and shook his head at her.

“OK tonight then.” Hannah said with a quick wave before continuing her run.

—

“Well that was a surprise.” Niall said as they walked back to his car. Anna hummed in response.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he unlocked the car.

“Nothing.” Anna answered honestly.

“Come on.” Niall pushed.

“Honestly, there is nothing wrong.” Anna repeated.

“You seem like your closing yourself off to me.” Niall said as he closed the door after him.

“I’m not.” Anna laughed lightly. “You never thought that you’d date someone that was English?”

Niall laughed in response. “Things kids say.”

“I could try and do an Irish accent but I’m sure I would offend everyone in the vicinity.” Anna smiled as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“I like that you’re English.” Niall said reaching across the console and grabbing her hand.

“Do you though?” Anna asked cheekily.

“Well you definitely have other qualities that I am interested in, but English is one of them.”

“English isn’t a quality Niall.” Anna laughed loudly. “It’s my nationality.”

Niall smirked in response, “You don’t care that I’m Irish?”

“Oh yes, it keeps me up at night.” Anna replied sarcastically.

—

“Do you mind if we go out to see Hannah tonight?” Niall asked as he watched Anna get ready.

“I’m literally half way through getting ready, you’re asking me this now?” Anna paused doing her make up to look at him.

“I mean like, you don’t mind.” He mumbled.

“Of course I don’t mind. She’s your friend. I want to hear all the embarrassing stories of your childhood.” Anna answered as she started doing her make up again.

“Yesterday wasn’t enough for you?” Niall asked rolling his eyes and smiling at her.

“Not nearly enough.” Anna said happily.

—

“Hannah!” Niall shouted as he entered the relatively full pub.

“Nialler!” She answered equally as excited and pulling him in for a hug. Anna followed in behind and didn’t miss the way that Hannah’s gaze tightened as she saw Anna.

“You remember Anna.” Niall introduced again, Anna’s hand held tightly in his own.

“The English woman.” Hannah smirked her eyes stiff as they looked over Anna.

“The one and only.” Anna sighed in response. Hannah wasn’t off to a great start in Anna’s opinion but she would try her best to be friendly for Niall’s sake.

“Sorry, I didn’t pull up a chair for you. I didn’t think that Niall would have company.” Hannah sat down at the tall table with only one chair opposite.

“It’s fine. I can stand.” Anna replied shortly.

“Baby, you sit. I’ll stand.” Niall said looking over at Anna.

She smiled a tight-lipped smile at him aware of Hannah watching their every move. “It’s fine. I’ll buy a round shall I?” She left before either of them had a chance to respond.

—

“Three pints, house lager please.” Anna said to the bar tender before leaning against the bar and looking around her surrounding.

“How you doing love?” A man to her right asked, his personal space boundaries clearly shattered by the alcohol he’d consumed.

“Fine, thank you.” Anna replied shortly, turning her attention back to the bar tender.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?” The man continued.

“What makes you think I’m here alone?” Anna asked shooting the man a quick gaze.

“Well if you were mine, I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.” He leered at her and attempted to put his arm around her.

Anna immediately blocked him and pushed away his advancing arm.

“Glad I’m not yours then.” She sighed as the bartender returned with the drinks.

“Thank you.” She smiled at the bartender before balancing the three drinks in her hands and turning to walk away, right as she felt the man slap her arse.  
Turning around quickly she carefully placed the drinks back on the bar. The man stood proudly wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“You like to touch women without their permission?” She asked sternly, her teacher voice was coming out and the man halted in his grin.

“You wouldn’t mind if I slapped you back without your permission?” She asked her voice rising in anger.

“Come on love. Just a bit of fun.” The man shook his head rolling his eyes at her.

“Turns out, this is a bit fun.” Anna said before slapping him hard across his face. Anna picked up the drinks and started to walk away before she heard him mutter “Bitch.” Anna turned quickly to look at him again and he averted his gaze and put his full beer glass across his cheek where she’d slapped him.

—

“You ok baby?” Niall asked as Anna returned, her face flushed.

“Fine.” She replied putting the drinks on the table.

“Baby?” Niall leant forward so that only Anna could hear him.

“Some guy just tried feeling me up at the bar.” Anna shrugged as Niall put his arm around her waist.

“What!” Niall pulled away from her quickly looking over at the bar as if he would know whom it was.

“It’s fine.” Anna shook her head catching his gaze again.

“It’s not.” Niall said as he picked up the drink Anna brought back.

“It is. I slapped him.” Anna replied shrugged her shoulders.

Niall almost choked on his drink. “You slapped him?” Anna nodded in reply before picking up her own drink. “I love you so much.” Niall shook his head grinning at her, one hand still firmly around her waist.

Hannah cleared her throat loudly. “Where were we before we were interrupted.” She glared at Anna.

Anna smiled sweetly back. “What did I miss?”

—

Anna had no clue what Hannah and Niall were talking about. Hannah seemed intent of cutting Anna out of the conversation, her body language was completely hostile as she kept her body turned away from Anna for most the night. It was however, open and inviting to Niall, filled with flirty little touches and looks. Niall kept his arm around Anna’s waist, smiling at her and trying to include her in the conversation as much as he could. He seemed oblivious to Hannah’s advances whenever he looked up at Anna, his eyes sparkling at her.

“Fetch us another drink would you.” Hannah finally addressed Anna. Anna had been back and forth between the bar and their table all night.

“As you wish.” She sighed moving to go to the bar.

“I can go Anna.” Niall said jumping up from his seat.

“It’s fine Niall. I don’t want to interrupt you two.” Anna replied before heading over to the bar.

“Having a fun night?” The bartender asked as Anna approached. He’d been the same one to serve her all night.

“Thrilling.” Anna rolled her eyes sarcastically.

“You work in a bar?” He asked as he poured two pints.

“No.” Anna answered in surprise. “Why would you say that?”

“You seem to be their personal waitress.” He indicated their small table with his head. Hannah was leaning over the table, cleavage on display trying to get Niall’s attention. His eyes were set on the bar, watching Anna. She smiled and waved slightly, seeing his smile in response as he waved back.

“They are catching up.” She turned back to the bartender. “Old friends.”

“I see.” He smiled at her kindly. “This ones on the house.” He indicated a shot next to the beer. “You look like you could use it.”

Anna laughed. “You are right sir.” She picked up the shot and threw it back easily.

“Vodka?” She choked.

“You’ve done this before.” The bartender smiled at her.

“Once or twice.” Anna smiled as she handed over the money for the drinks. “Thank you…”

“Andrew.” He replied still smiling at her.

“Thank you Andrew.” She nodded at him briefly before picking up the two drinks and returning to the table.

—

“Did I just see you take a shot?” Niall asked laughing when she returned.

“How good is your eyesight?” Anna smiled at him.

“Good enough.” He kissed her on the cheek briefly before Hannah grabbed his arm and pulled his attention back to her.

“I’m going to go make a call.” Anna said as they continued to talk. Niall nodded at her to indicate that he’d heard her and she made her way out of the bar.

—

“Hi Mum.” Anna answered when her mother picked up the phone.

“Sweetheart! You are alive!” Her mother replied laughing.

“Were you concerned?” Anna smiled at her mothers over reaction.

“Just miss you.” Her mother mused.

“I am alive and well. How is Grandma?” Anna started to pace in the cold.

“She’s ok.” Anna’s mother paused.

“Mum?”

“She’s a bit poorly at the moment.” Her mother continued.

“Should I be worried?” Anna asked immediately worried.

“I don’t want you to be concerned when you’re having time with Niall.” She replied but Anna could hear the worry in her voice.

“Well now I am very worried. What’s wrong mum?” Anna continued to pace, now out of concern for her family.

“She’s gone back into hospital.” Anna’s mother answered with a sigh.

“Is it bad?” Anna asked quietly.

“We’re not sure yet.” The response was hushed. “When do you come back?”

“After New Years, but I can come home sooner if you need me.” Anna answered immediately.

“No darling. There’s nothing you can do. Coming home sooner won’t change anything.” Anna’s mother tried to comfort her. Anna could feel her heart freezing up. Her Grandmother had been sick for quite some time; she kept going through a roller coaster of health. They thought that she was fine, then she would take a terrible turn, and three days later be completely fine again.

“I’ll come by when I get back.” Anna shivered from the cold.

“That would be good. I…um… I’m not sure if she’d going to last the week.” There was an extremely long pause while the news sunk in. She was much worse than Anna had thought. “I love you pumpkin.” Anna’s mothers voice was sad.

“Love you mum.” Anna replied before hanging up. She didn’t realize that she’d been close to crying until she hung up. Shuddering and swallowing the tears Anna made her way back into the bar.

—

“Everything ok?” Niall asked when he saw her again.

“Fine.” Anna tried to answer brightly but Niall saw straight through it immediately.

“Anna? What’s wrong?” He pulled her in close and that was nearly her breaking moment. 

Sighing heavily Anna pulled away. “I might actually head home. I’m not feeling too good.”

“Told you the English couldn’t hold her liquor.” Hannah said smugly.

“I’ll come.” Niall’s eyes ran over her face in worry ignoring Hannah.

“No Niall. It’s fine. Really.” She smiled sadly at him. She didn’t want to cut his night short, and she knew that she would start crying soon.

“Baby?” Niall was worried.

“It’s Grandma. She’s…” Anna cleared her throat as tears threatened to choke her words. “She’s not doing well. Just spoke to mum. But you two carry on.”

Niall’s eyes sped over her face in concern. “I’ll come home.”

“Oh come on Nialler.” Hannah interrupted, unaware of the situation, “Don’t leave yet! We’ve hardly even caught up!”

“She’s right.” Anna tried to smile, but failed. “You stay. I’ll see you when you get home.”

“You sure?” Niall confirmed still worried about her.

Anna nodded in response. “Nice to meet you again Hannah.”

Hannah responded by rolling her eyes.

“Bye Baby.” Niall stood up and engulfed her in his strong arms.

“Bye Niall.” The tears started as Niall kissed her carefully. Wiping her eyes discretely Anna left the pub and took a taxi back to Niall’s home.

—

Anna was startled awake by a crash coming from somewhere in the house. Getting out of bed quickly she ran to see what the commotion was. Running into the kitchen she saw a very drunk Niall standing by the tap, water spreading slowly spreading across the bench from the glass he’d knocked over, mumbling to himself.

“Shh you are going to wake up Anna.”

“Niall?” Anna said softly. He jumped in the air cursing.

“Jesus! I’m sorry.” Niall yelped holding his thumping chest.

“It’s fine. You ok?” Anna asked picking up a tea towel and starting to clean up the mess.

“Just scared the shit outta me.” Niall slurred making Anna laugh.

“Come on, lets get you to bed.” She wrung out the tea towel in the sink and left it to dry before taking Niall’s hand and leading him towards the bedroom.

“Did you have a good night?” She asked taking off this shirt.

“Hannah man. She’s so great.” He replied happily.

“Mmm.” Anna hummed. “I don’t think she likes me much.”

“Are you kidding? She was asking all sorts of questions about you after you left.” Niall said adamantly as he removed his jeans.

“She was?” Anna was surprised.

“How long we’d been together, how I felt about you, how serious we were.” Niall listed off, his words slurring together.

Anna raised her eyebrows in response. They weren’t questions about Anna. They were about their relationship.

“Do you need a shower?” She asked as Niall swayed on his feet.

“Are you offering?” He laughed wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“You are very drunk.” Anna shook her head smiling. “Go clean your teeth and drink some water.” She turned him and gave him a slight push towards the bathroom.

“Yes Ma’am.” Niall saluted as he stumbled towards the bathroom giggling.

—

“Nooooooo.” Niall hugged Anna holding her tightly against his chest. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to go either Niall but I need to see my Grandma… And school.” Anna sighed.

“I’m coming back in a week.” Niall said still not letting her go.

“I know.” Anna nodded sadly.

“What am I going to do without you?” Niall said sadly.

“You always have Hannah to keep you company.” Anna said under her breath.

“Yeah. I guess. It’s not you though is it?” He laughed.

“It’s not.” Anna confirmed. “I really have to go Niall. I’m going to miss my flight.”

“Ok. That’s fine.” Niall cheekily grinned at her.

Anna laughed. “Goodbye Niall.” She separated their bodies and kissed him a final time before heading toward the terminal.

“Love you!” He yelled out making people turn and look at him.

Anna shook her head blushing at him before waving once more.


	21. A Mistake

“Notting Hill and Waffles? What are your thoughts?”

Anna laughed as she opened the door wider to Harry standing opposite a cheeky grin showing off his dimples.

“I have very strong opinions.” Anna replied standing aside so that he could enter.

“Are they positive?” Harry asked as he stepped inside and removed his coat.

“Always. Let me put on something proper and we can go.”

“You look fine.” Harry dismissed as he followed her through the house chuckling when he heard her scoff.

“If I’m going out in public, I’d prefer to not look homeless.”

Harry sat in her lounge room waiting for her to return. He’d been so glad to spend a few days with her after Christmas. He’d missed her a lot and the early morning Boxing Day phone call was not one of his shining moments. She’d told him about her Christmas with Niall, and the meet up with Hannah, she’d told him about her Grandmother and he had even dropped her off at the hospital yesterday so that she could see her. For all intents and purposes he was basically acting as her boyfriend. He knew that there had been some more rumors about them, some fans and paparazzi managing to get some photo’s of them together, but in all honestly he didn’t mind. If they wanted to think that they were dating, he had no issue with that. Anna entered the room wearing dark blue jeans and brown boots, a fitted blue long sleeved shirt and she was pulling a sweater over her head.

“Ready?” She asked as she adjusted herself.

“More than.” Harry stood up from the couch and followed her back toward the front door. “For the record Anna. I think you look lovely.” He was pleased to see her blush in response as she pulled on her coat.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” She nudged him slightly with her hip before they exited the house.

—

Niall’s face grew red as he flicked through his twitter feed. ‘Harry Styles and Mystery Woman spotted in Notting Hill’, ‘Loved up pair take a stroll’, ‘Harry’s new girlfriend’. Every post showing pictures of them laughing and smiling as they walked down the street. Niall knew that they were just friends but the articles were getting to him. He saw how Harry looked at Anna; it was plain in the pictures. One more day and Niall would be with her. One more day and he could set the record straight.

—

“How’s your waffle?” Harry asked with his mouth full.

“So good.” Anna’s answer was muffled with the food in her mouth.

Harry and Anna walked down the main street talking and laughing while they ate. Occasionally Harry would get stopped and asked for a picture of which Anna would politely take his food and stand out of the way while the fans gushed over him.

“You ever get used to it?” She asked as they walked away from another group of fans.

“What?” Harry asked licking his fingers of the chocolate from the waffles.

“The fame? The pictures? The women?” Anna wiggled her eyebrows at him making him laugh.

“No. Never.” He shook his head. “The day that I say to you that this is normal you have permission to slap me.”

“I’ll take great pleasure in that.” Anna laughed.

“I’m sure you would.” Harry smiled down at her.

“Oh phones ringing. Hold this would you?” Anna handed Harry her half eaten waffle as she fished around in her pocket to her ringing phone.

“Mum?” She answered happily watching Harry take a bite of her waffle. She hit him in the arm lightly to which he laughed in response.

“Anna?” Her mother had been crying, Anna could tell immediately.

“Mum? What’s wrong?” Harry smile dropped when her heard Anna’s panicked voice. “Is it Grandma? Is she ok?”

“She’s gone Anna. She’s passed.” Her mother responded softly.

Anna felt the color drain from her face. “Harry we have to get to the hospital.”

“No. No. I’m home now.” Her mother interrupted her. “There’s nothing you can do.”

“I want to help mum. What do I do? Do I come over?” Anna asked frantically. Harry stood watching her, seeing the tears fill her eyes.

“No sweetheart. Not right now. Tomorrow yes. I need help to plan the… I need.” Anna’s mother dissolved into tears.

“Tomorrow Mum. I’ll come over. I’ll take care of everything don’t worry.” Anna tried to calm her down.

“I love you sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Her mother sniffled.

“I love you mum. Tomorrow.” Anna agreed before she hung up the phone.

Harry stared at her in silence waiting for her to say something.

“Anna…” He began.

“She’s gone. Grandma. She’s gone. What do I do Harry. What do I do?” The tears finally spilled over and Anna started to cry.

“Anna, hey, it’s ok. It will be ok.” Harry tried to comfort knowing that it was doing no good as she hugged herself and started to shudder.

Quickly dumping their food in the bin he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, trying to transfer the pain she was feeling onto him.

“It’s ok Banana. It’s ok.”

—

It was the final straw for Niall as the latest update picture refreshed on his phone. Anna huddled under Harry’s arms, his head bent towards her in an intimate gesture. Did they really think that Niall wouldn’t find out? Did Harry really think that Niall was the stupid? Well, in part he was. He trusted Harry to not make a move on Anna and obviously he was the idiot. Photo’s were tweeted left, right and center of them separating, Harry kissing her on the head, his arm kept protectively around her as they walked, her head held down. Niall felt as though he was watching it like a movie as each picture came in. Anna refused to lift her head and Harry walked holding her close against him. Niall wanted to vomit. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted Harry. He thought that they were brothers and yet here he was holding his Anna much closer than friends. Infuriated Niall pulled up Hannah’s contact. He needed a drink. He needed a distraction. He needed a friend. Pressing the call button, Niall knew what he actually needed. He needed Anna.

—

“Niall’s not answering any of my calls Harry.” Anna’s tears hadn’t stopped.

“He will sweetheart.” Harry tried comforting her.

“But he’s still not answering me. I need to talk to him Harry. I need him.”

Harry’s heart hurt but he continued to comfort her. “He might not have heard his phone.”

Anna shuddered. “Harry. I need him.”

“I know baby. I know.” Harry felt Anna tense at the word baby, but she soon relaxed and continued to cry.

—

Niall was drunk. Completely and utterly drunk. He was dancing with Hannah and he didn’t care. Harry continued to creep into his mind and so he threw back another drink. Anna. He hasn’t spoken to her all day but why would he need to, when she was in the arms of Harry.

“Less get outta here Niall.” Hannah slurred throwing her arms around his neck. Niall nodded, his legs not quite supporting him properly.

—

Anna had fallen asleep on Harry when he was playing with her hair. She’d cried herself to sleep. He didn’t realize how close she was with her Grandma, but he’d never thought to ask. Her breath was fanning across his collarbones and he could for a moment pretend that they were together.

—

Hannah and Niall stumbled back into his house laughing.

“I’m really pleased that you are back Niall.” Hannah slurred as she landed on his couch, lying down.

“Not permanently. Still famous you know.” Niall laughed tripping and falling in front of her.

“Wass’ the deal with Anna?” Hannah asked sitting up.

“What do you mean?” Niall asked sitting up.

“She just doesn’t seem like your type man.” Hannah sunk to the floor on her knees in front of Niall.

Niall scoffed. “And you know who my type is?”

“I do.” Hannah licked her lips and moved closer to her.

Niall rolled his eyes laughing at her.

“I do Niall.” Hannah repeated moving closer to him. “I know what you want.”

Niall’s mouth ran dry, his eyes focused on the pink of Hannah’s lips.

“I know what you want.” She repeated before she connected their lips.

—

“I’m so sorry Harry.” Anna woke up with a start, embarrassed that she’d fallen asleep on Harry.

“It’s fine Anna. Are you feeling ok?” He asked resting his hand on her knee.

“Headache.” She mumbled rubbing her eyes.

“I’ll get you some water.” Harry said standing up and going to the kitchen.

“Thank you Harry. You are so lovely.” Anna called out as he left.

—

Anna picked up her phone, still nothing from Niall. She decided to call him once more. It rang for a long time before a breathless Niall finally picked up.

“’Ello?” He sounded drunk.

“Niall!” Anna gasped, happy to finally hear his voice.

“Anna?” He sounded confused.

“Niall I need you. Where have you been?” Anna didn’t want to be angry with him, but finally hearing his voice brought out a mix of emotions.

“Why don’t you just go to Harry?” Niall replied gruffly.

“Niall I needed you. Why weren’t you answering me?” Anna started to cry again.

“Because I don’t answer the calls of someone who pretends to love me. Someone that snogs my band mate.” His voice was angry.

“Niall, what are you talking about?” Anna’s voice shook.

“Don’t try to act innocent. I know what happened. I saw the pictures.” He growled at her.

“I honestly have no idea what you are talking about.” Anna’s whole body was shaking, barely able to hold onto the phone.

“Don’t cry. Don’t lie to me.” Niall yelled into the phone.

“Niall.” Anna squeaked.

“I don’t want to hear it. You know how many girls I could get? You know how many women throw themselves at me? I’ve been faithful all this time? What was the point? What was the point when you just do whatever you want?” Anna sat in silence wanting to vomit.

“Say something Anna.” Niall snarled. “Defend yourself.”

“My grandmother passed.” Anna hung up the phone and threw it across the room, not caring if it smashed.

“Anna what happened?” Harry ran back into the room as Anna fell apart in front of him.

—

Niall sat stunned at the sound of the dead line. Hannah had long since gone, Niall near on throwing her out when she’d kissed him. He couldn’t deny that he’d kissed her back, but she didn’t feel like Anna, she wasn’t as sweet as Anna; she wasn’t Anna. What had he done? He tried calling her again and the phone went straight voicemail. How could he be so stupid? Her grandmother. He knew she was ill, Anna had left early the other night. How could he be so stupid? He was surprised to see Harry’s name flash up on his phone.

“Harry?” Niall’s voice was hoarse.

“What the fuck did you do to her?” He yelled down the phone making Niall jump. “What the fuck did you say to her?”

“You’re with her? Is she ok?” Niall asked standing up drunkenly. He needed to pack. He needed to get on a plane. She needed him. He wobbled towards his bedroom.

“How do you think she is Niall? She’s broken? She called you for comfort. What the fuck did you say to her?” Harry roared back.

“I don’t know. I don’t know.” Niall’s head hurt, he’d made it to his bedroom and was throwing clothes haphazardly into a suitcase.

“You must have said something.” Harry hissed. “She smashed her phone. It’s useless now. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never seen her like this.” Harry’s voice, while seething was anger was full of concern.

“What’s happened? Is she ok?” Niall’s shaking hands stopped packing while he waiting for Harry’s reply. He could hear Harry’s heavy breathing through the phone.

“No she’s not fucking ok Niall. Her grandmother just passed. She needed your comfort. And you… you fucking idiot.”

“I didn’t know Harry.” Niall tried to defend himself, but he knew it was no use.

“She’s been calling you all day.” Harry counted.

“I’m packing. I’m getting on a plane. I’m coming.” Niall said as he ran around his room trying to pack again.

“You’re drunk Niall. You aren’t going anywhere.” Harry sighed heavily.

“Put me on the phone with her.” Niall suddenly demanded.

“You know I’m not going to do that.” Harry disagreed.

“Put me on the fucking phone with her.” Niall yelled down the down.

“I’m not doing that Niall.” Harry said calmly, his voice soft.

“Fuck you Harry.” Niall slammed his suitcase down on the ground as he started to exit the bedroom.

“She doesn’t want to talk Niall. I don’t think she can.” Harry said tiredly.

There was a long silence between them.

“Tell her I love her Harry. Tell her I’m coming.” Niall sighed.

“I will Niall.” Harry replied quietly. “But I don’t think you are going to get anywhere tonight.”

“I’m coming tonight. Tell her.” Niall said stubbornly.

“OK.” Harry breathed.

“Stay with her Harry. I don’t want her to be alone.”

“OK.” Harry repeated.

“Thank you Harry.” Niall started to shrug on a coat and pull on the first pair of shoes he could find.

“Whatever.”

Niall hung up the phone and immediately dialed the number for a cab. His head felt sober while his body was weighed down with the guilt of what he’d said and the shame of what he’d done.

—

“Niall’s coming sweetheart.” Harry had carried Anna to her bedroom and carefully laid her down. She was still awake her eyes red and tired, but no longer crying. At the mention of Niall’s name she looked up startled, almost frightened. She shook her head vehemently.

“Anna, he loves you.” As much as it pained Harry, he knew it was true.

“I don’t want to see him Harry.” Anna’s voice broke.

Harry sighed heavily as he sat down next to her. He was torn between one of his best friends and the woman he loved.

“I can’t stop him Anna. He’s on his way.”

Anna nodded sadly, fresh tears starting down her cheeks.

“Please don’t cry love.” Harry said brushing some of her hair out of her eyes.

“I’m so sorry Harry. I’m sorry that you have to see me like this.”

“Are you kidding? There’s nowhere I’d rather be.” Harry replied smiling down at her. He was pleased to hear a small laugh and see the slight roll of her eyes in response.

“I’m serious Anna. Anything you need. I’m here.”

Anna wiped away her tears. “Please don’t leave Harry. I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Never Anna. I’ll always be here for you.” Harry took one of her hands in both of his.

“You’re too good to me.” Anna sighed her eyes blinking closed slowly.

“And you are too good for me.” Harry mumbled watching her tired eyes close.

“Lay down Harry. Get some rest.” Anna’s eyes fought to stay open.

“I’ll go to the guest room.” Harry stood up and tried to let go of her hand. He was surprised when held onto him tightly.

“You said you wouldn’t leave.” Fear filled Anna’s eyes.

“You want me to stay in here?” Harry cleared his throat. “With you?”

“Please?” Anna asked quietly her eyes closing again.

“Anything for you.” Harry answered as she shuffled backwards for him to sit down, still not letting go of his hand.

“Thank you Harry. For everything.” Anna mumbled before she fell asleep.

—

Niall landed and almost ran out of the airport in desperation. He’d sobered up on the plane and couldn’t believe what he’d said to her. He was so stupid. Reading 9:45pm from his phone, he thought about going straight to Anna’s. She might still be awake. Shaking his now pounding head Niall waved down the fist taxi he could find and directed it to his London apartment. He hadn’t been there for an extremely long time, opting to stay with Anna whenever he could. The apartment was cold and lonely, exactly how Niall felt. Trudging to his bedroom Niall fell down on his bed and fell asleep fully clothed.


	22. "It's too much."

Anna woke up, her head pounding from the day before. She heard soft snores coming from beside her and smiled after turning her head and seeing Harry sleeping contently beside her. He looked so much younger than she’d ever seen him, she felt her heart leap a little as he slowly opened his eyes and grinned at her.

 

“Morning.” His voice was raspy and sent shivers over her body.

“Morning.” She smiled at him watching him stretch out.

“You doing ok?” Harry raised a fist and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

“I don’t know how to answer that.” Anna replied sighing heavily.

“Answer it honestly.” Harry said sitting up slightly, he was still fully dressed.

“Sad, angry, my head is sore.” Anna listed.

“Do you want some water or something?” Harry asked sitting up fully and preparing to get out of the bed.

“No. It’s just from the crying.” Anna shrugged.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” Harry’s voice was soft.

Anna smiled at him, “You are so lovely Harry.” She was surprised to see a faint blush appear on his cheeks. “Are you blushing Harry?” She laughed.

“No.” Harry replied immediately embarrassed and burying his head back into his pillow.

“Oh my goodness you are.” Anna giggled, trying to pull away the pillows from his face.

“Am not.” The muffled response made Anna laugh harder.

“Why are you blushing?” She tried again to dig down and see his face.

“I’m not. It’s early.” Harry sat up laughing softly.

“You are though.” Anna smiled as the blush still present on his cheeks.

“You just complimented me. I don’t know.” He shrugged and buried his face back in the pillows.

“I love you Harry.” Anna laughed shaking her head and getting out of the bed, she looked back once more to see Harry watching her carefully the blush now rising up his neck.

—

Anna exited the shower running a towel through her hair when she heard voices in the living room, Niall’s accent floating through the house.

“I don’t think you should be here Niall.” Harry voice was rough.

“I told you I was coming Harry. Her grandmother passed away. I need to be here for her.” Niall replied angrily.

“Not after yesterday Niall. I don’t know what you said to her, but I’ve never seen her like that.” Harry voice was soft, Anna moved closer to the living room.

“What am I meant to think? Your arms around her!” Niall snapped back at Harry.

“You are meant to trust her, you are meant to trust me! I told you I wouldn’t make a move on her.”

Anna mouth ran dry. Why would Harry make a move on her?

“You tell me that you love her. You tell me… that you love her. The next photo I see of you two, your arms are around her Harry. You can’t blame me for making the connection.” Niall growled. Anna’s stomach dropped. Harry loved her? He couldn’t love her. How could he know if he loved her? He couldn’t. He was just hurting over Kelly. That’s all it was. Niall was making things up.

“You know that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I know she loves you. I would never do anything to hurt her. You know that.” Harry’s voice was low, Anna barely heard him. “I didn’t hurt her this time Niall. You did. You can’t blame me for your stupid conclusions.”

Anna could hear movement in the living room, the creak of the couch as someone sat down. She made her way back to the bathroom. Harry loved her? When? Why? How? Anna stared at her reflection in the mirror. Harry couldn’t love her, could he?

—

Niall and Harry looked up quickly to see Anna standing in front of them awkwardly.

“I’m erm… I’m heading over to mum’s. We’ve got some planning to do.” Anna said quietly, not making eye contact with either of them.

“I’ll take you!” Harry and Niall said in unison.

Anna smiled weakly, “I’m just going to take the bus.”

“You can’t. I’ll take you.” Niall and Harry said together again.

Anna tried to smile again. “I’ll see you later.” She waved slightly before grabbing a jacket and near on running out of the house.

—

Six hours later Anna returned to her house, surprised to see lights on. She didn’t know if Niall or Harry were going to be there, she didn’t care. She was exhausted, after tears and plans and more tears with her mother, they had planned most of the funeral, set for the coming Friday. Closing the door behind her she heard music coming from her kitchen and the smell of some kind of meat cooking.

“Hello?” She called out nervously taking off her jacket and hanging it up.

“Anna?” Niall’s voice called out from the kitchen. Anna was ashamed to admit that she was disappointed that it wasn’t Harry that greeted her.

“Just me.” She replied dropping her keys on the entry table.

“You doing ok?” Niall asked poking his head out from the kitchen.

Anna smiled grimly and nodded running a hand through her hair and walking to the bathroom.

—

Niall had set the table set and had worked hard on dinner for the two of them. He had a lot of apologizing to do to Anna and he wanted to start it off well. His heart stopped briefly when he saw her. Her eyes red and puffed from the no doubt difficult day that she’d had, not to mention the night before, and yet, she still looked stunning to him. Her green eyes glowing, her full lips forming into a small smile before she disappeared into the bathroom. He wouldn’t ever stop loving her; how could he have been so stupid to think that she would do anything with Harry. She loved Niall, she was too good for him, she cared and she loved openly and honestly.

—

Anna looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. For the first time in a long time she didn’t recognize the woman staring back her. She didn’t know what she wanted to say to Niall. What was she meant to say to him? He’d hurt her. She needed him and he accused her of stupid things. Then Harry. Harry had been there for her, constantly. He’d stayed with her. He’d been the best friend that she could have asked for. She’d heard them talking this morning; Harry loved with her. She had no idea what to do with that information. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, she wanted to shut herself in her room, sleep and wake up after the mess had been dealt with. She jumped from a light tap on the door.

“Anna, you ok? I’ve made dinner.” Niall’s voice was nervous.

Anna cleared her throat, “I’ll be out in a minute.” Tears were threatening to close her throat as she heard him move away from the door. Rubbing her eyes and blowing her nose Anna exited the bathroom, ready to deal with a new wave of drama.

—

Niall sat patiently at the table waiting for Anna. He’d only cooked for her a few times before and he was petrified it was going to taste terrible, she was a much better cook than he was. But he needed to make things right with her. He needed to apologize for what he said. He needed to tell her about Hannah. Niall looked up quickly to the sound of the bathroom door opening and watched Anna as she carefully walked towards him and sat down.

“Looks good.” She was trying to smile but it wasn’t coming.

“I hope it tastes ok.” Niall said licking his dry lips nervously.

“Sure it’s fine.” Anna mumbled before picking up her fork and starting to eat slowly.

They ate in silence for a long time. Niall wanted to make conversation but didn't know where to start. Anna avoided eye contact as much as she could.

“When did you get into London?” She asked finally.

“Last night. I stayed at my place.” Niall replied quickly and perhaps too loudly. Anna simply nodded in response.

“Is it… is it ok?” Niall asked nervously, he’d hardly paid attention to the food he was putting in his mouth, too busy studying Anna. Anna nodded again in response.

“Anna.” Niall began again, she looked up at him and he saw the hurt in her eyes, he saw the pain that he’d inflicted on her and his throat seized up, how could he hurt her further when she was already crumbling and barely holding herself together.

“How’s your mother?” Niall asked not ready to break her again.

Anna shrugged in response.

“Anna, talk to me.” Niall pleaded with her.

“What do you want me to say Niall?” Anna asked sighing and putting down her cutlery. “Her mother just died. I’ve spent all day with her, planning a funeral. She’s distraught. She won’t eat. She won’t talk to me. That’s both her parents gone. How do you think she is?”

Niall chewed his bottom lip as Anna spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” Anna didn’t pick up her fork again. “I’m not hungry.” She said eventually, standing up and taking her half eaten meal to the kitchen.

“I’ll take that.” Niall jumped up from his chair trying to help.

“I’m not an invalid. I can do it.” Anna sighed again.

“I know you aren’t. I’m just trying to help.” Niall said meeting her in the kitchen.

“Thanks for dinner, it was great.” Anna replied flatly before moving past him and into her lounge room. Niall watched her walk away; this was not the way he wanted this to go. He wanted to tell her everything and how sorry he was, but the words wouldn’t come, instead he was just making it worse.

After putting away the left over food and cleaning the kitchen until it was spotless he entered the living room, Anna’s eyes were drifting across the pages of a book slowly. He saw them pause as he sat on the couch next to her.

“We need to talk Anna.” He said quietly folding his hands in front of him.

She closed the book and put it down turning her body towards him. “Go for it.”

“I’m so sorry about your Grandma, I had no idea.” He paused waiting for some kind of acknowledgement from her, but he received nothing. Taking a deep breath he continued, “I saw pictures of you and Harry going out and doing the things that I want to do with you, that I should be doing with you, and I snapped. I got so jealous Anna and it’s not that I thought that you would do anything, it’s that it was him and it wasn’t me with you. It was Harry that was making you laugh, making you smile, and instead I was in Ireland without you. The reporter’s talk about how great you look together, about how happy you make him and I just can’t take that. I can’t Anna and I’m sorry. Not when I know how he feels about you. I don’t blame him for feeling the way he does. You are amazing, and….” Niall paused watching Anna carefully, she sat stone-faced in front of him, “And I love you so much Anna.” he continued. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you, I shouldn’t have ignored your calls, I shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m so sorry.” There was a long pause between them while Niall thought about how he should say what he needed to next. He studied his hands carefully before looking back up at her surprised to see tears in her eyes.

“Baby. I…” Niall’s voice was thick as he saw a tear drop from the edge of her eye, how was he going to say this. “I’m so sorry. I have to tell you something.” He saw Anna take a shuddering breath and it broke his heart further.

“Yesterday. I… I saw the photos. I was so angry. I needed to talk to someone. I called Hannah. I got drunk. We got so drunk.” Niall couldn’t look at her, his shame dropping his head, he heard Anna gasp.

“We went home, and she… we… I…” Niall stumbled over his words.

“You didn’t Niall…” Anna shook her head in disbelief.

“No! No. She kissed me. We were drunk. We didn’t know what was happening.” Niall answered quickly, looking up at her. Anna’s mouth had opened slowly, tears were now flowing freely down her flushed cheeks.

“You cheated on me.” Anna gasped.

“No baby. I swear I didn’t.” Niall shook his head and went to take her hands in his but she flinched away from his touch.

“You kissed her. Tell me how that’s not cheating.” Anna’s voice was shaking, from tears and anger.

“But I stopped it. We stopped. I made her leave. It didn’t mean anything. I was so drunk Anna.” Niall tried to explain, knowing that he was doing a terrible job.

“But you kissed her.” Anna shook her head. “You called her to talk. You should have called me. I called you, so many times. I… I turned to you. You … you turned to someone else.”

Niall shook his head trying to deny it, but knew that it was true.

“You turned to another woman.” Anna repeated, “And then you yelled at me, you accused me of cheating on you, you didn’t bother to find out the truth. You got angry and you hurt me Niall. This is all on you.”

“I know. I know. I’m so sorry Anna.” Niall could feel tears welling up in his chest. “Baby, please.”

“Do. Not. Call me that.” Anna replied severely.

“Anna, please. I’m so sorry.” Niall began again.

“No Niall. Do you even remember what you said to me? ‘You know how many girls I could get? You know how many women throw themselves at me? I’ve been faithful all this time! What was the point? What was the point when you just do whatever you want?’” Anna quoted. “Of course I know how many girls you could get, of course I know how many women throw themselves at you. Of course I know all of that. Do you really think that I am not questioning my worth every second of the day? Do you really think that I am ok with any of that? I trusted you. I trusted that you loved me. I trusted that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I thought that you loved me. That was the point Niall. That I loved you and you loved me. I guess I was wrong.”

“I do love you Anna. I love you so much.” Niall replied his voice cracking.

“No, you don’t Niall.” Anna shook her head slowly.

“Don’t say that Anna. I do love you. I got on a plane as soon as I could.”

“You ignored my phone calls. You went to another woman, you drunk to not feel anything. You got drunk as an excuse to cheat on me, you went out of your way to not love me.” Anna’s voice turned cold. “You broke me again. When I needed you, when I called out for you, you turned away from me. You didn’t try to listen or let me explain. You thought about you and you only.” Anna buried her face in her hands as she cried.

There was silence between them as Niall tried to swallow the tears that were travelling up his throat.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore Niall.” Anna said quietly trying to clear her throat and looking up. Niall’s head snapped up at her words. “I don’t think I can handle all of this. I thought that I could, as long as you were with me. But you’re not. You aren’t with me. I can’t do this.” Tear streaks were staining her red cheeks.

“I am with you. I’m right here. Anna, please don’t do this. I’m so sorry. I need you.”

“Do you Niall?” Anna shook her head. “You said yourself, you could have anyone you wanted.”

“I want you Anna, only you.” Niall disagreed vehemently.

“Hannah.” Anna barely whispered.

“No Anna!” Niall nearly shouted, “No not her, never her. I want you. With me, beside me. I need you Anna. Only you. I want you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Niall’s voice broke. “I wanted to talk to you when I called her, but I didn’t know what to say, I was so angry. I’m so sorry Anna.”

“But you didn’t call me Niall. You didn’t. You ignored me. Clearly I wanted to talk to you. You shut me out.” Anna answered.

“I’m sorry Anna.” Niall repeated.

“I know.” Anna nodded and wiped her eyes.

“Where does this leave us?” Niall asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know.” Anna shook her head.

“I love you.” Niall said simply, Anna didn’t reply. Of course she loved Niall, but she didn’t know how to respond, so she said nothing.

—

“I’m going to bed. I need to sleep.” Anna said after a long silence standing up.

“Ok. I’ll… I’ll go home.” Niall hoped that she would stop him, tell him to come to bed with her, tell him that she needed him, that she needed him to show her how much he loved her, but she just nodded instead. She didn’t try to stop him.

“Can I have a hug at least?” He asked as they walked to the front door and he shrugged on a coat.

He saw her hesitation before she walked into his open arms, he held her tight afraid that it would be the last time that he ever got to hold her.

“I love you Anna. So much. Please don’t leave me.” He whispered into her hair before letting her go.

“I do love you Niall. Which is why this hurts so much.” Anna said wiping another stray tear from her cheek.

“Call me if you need anything.” Niall’s stomach flipped hearing that she still loved him, but crumpled again knowing how hurt she was.

“I will.” Anna answered before she closed the door behind him.

—

Anna curled up on her bed, it felt far too bare, far to empty. Tears fell from her eyes slowly at first before the panic, anxiety, sadness, anger and hopelessness built up on her chest and she began to cry harder, sobbing, aching sobs in her chest as every emotion assaulted her mind. Her hands shook as she tried to grip the sheets and calm herself down.

“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.” She didn’t know who was saying the words, but they echoed around her room.

“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t do this anymore.” She realized the words were falling from her own lips. Her heart ached. She couldn’t handle this amount of emotion, she was just one person and this was too much. Niall betrayed her. Her mother was broken and she couldn’t help her. Her grandmother had left them. Harry loved her. She couldn’t handle this. She cried out in pain, fingernails scratching at her calf muscles trying to relieve the pressure in her hands.

“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.” She continued to repeat as she rocked in pain. It was too much.

—

“Anna! What’s wrong?” Harry asked panicked. He’d called Anna on a whim, something telling him that he needed to call her. She’d answered but she didn’t say anything. He could hear sobbing and crying out in pain. She didn’t answer his call out to her.

“Anna, answer me. Are you hurt?” Harry tried again, sitting up in his bed, the bed sheet falling away from his bare chest.

“H…Harry.” Harry heard Anna choke out.

“Anna sweetheart. Talk to me, tell me what’s going on!” Harry threw the blankets off his half naked body and searched around his room for some clothes.

“Harry. I can’t. I can’t.” Anna sounded broken, more broken than he’d ever heard.

“Yes you can Anna, yes you can.” Harry had no idea what he was trying to convince her of as he pulled on some pants.

“I can’t. I can’t Harry. I can’t do this. It’s too much.” Anna sobbed.

“You can Anna. I know you can. You’ve done so much.” Harry pulled on an old flannel shirt and a jumper trying to keep the phone pressed against his ear. “I’m coming.”

“N… No Harry. I… I’m fine.” Stuttered Anna.

“Sweetheart I’ll be there in 15minutes.” Harry replied stubbornly picking up his car keys and running to his car.

“Ha… Harry. I don’t know what to do.” Anna cried.

“You hold on baby. You hold on. I’ll be there soon.” Harry replied starting his car.

“Soon.” Anna sobbed before Harry hung up the phone screeching away from his house.


	23. Shifted

Niall knew that something wasn’t right as soon as he walked out of her front door, but deciding that he needed to give her space, he left. However lying in his bed later that night he knew that he needed to speak to her. He hesitated at least three times before he dialed her number. He just needed to make sure she was ok. He was surprised that the line was busy. She may have turned her phone off to ensure that he wouldn’t call her. Niall sighed heavily and dropped his hands to his sides. He was frustrated. He loved her. Why was he such a dick head? Picking up his phone he dialed her number again, surprised when she answered and heartbroken when he could tell that she was crying.

“Anna, baby.” He said softly.

“Hi Nialler.” Anna mumbled.

“What can I do?” Niall felt the weight of an anvil on his chest.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.” Anna replied.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Niall’s heart was breaking all over again.

“I know. I know you are.” Anna took a deep breath.

“Do you want me to come over? I can come over.” Niall suggested getting out of his bed.

“No. No don’t. I… I can’t.” Niall could hear that she’d started to cry again.

“Ok.” Niall sat down again running a hand through his hair. “I love you so much. I’m always here for you. I want to be here for you.”

“I know. I know you do. I just… I just don’t know.” Anna sniffled. “I want to scream.”

“I know you do baby. You can. You scream and shout as much as you want.” Niall felt relieved that she wasn’t stopping him from calling her ‘Baby’ again.

“I’m… Goodnight Nialler.” Anna said after a long pause.

“Goodnight baby. Please never forget how much I love you.” Niall said softly.

“I…. I love you too.” Anna replied quickly before hanging up.

She might have been crying but Niall couldn’t help but smile at her final four words. ‘I love you too.’

—

“Anna?” Harry called out to the dark house.

“Bedroom.” Anna called back as Harry stumbled and bumped into walls, glad to hear her small laugh the noisier he was.

“You aren’t breaking into any houses any time soon are you?” Only her bedside table lamp lit Anna. Her face was red, her eyes swollen from crying but still she attempted to smile at him while tears streamed steadily down her face.

“Anna. You ok?” Harry asked kicking off his shoes and walking towards her.

Anna shook her head, “No.” Tears continued to fall from her eyes.

“Sweetheart.” Harry sighed as he sat down and put his arm around her pulling her close. “Do you want to tell me what’s going through that gorgeous brain of yours?”

“I don’t even know what to say.” Anna sniffled cuddling against his chest. “I know that I feel guilty you are here and Niall’s not. But I just… I can’t see him right now.” Anna shuddered against him.

“It’s ok Anna.” Harry’s long fingers ran up and down her arm in comfort.

“It’s not Harry. It’s not ok. He kissed someone else.” Anna turned her face against his chest and tears soaked into his shirt. Harry’s body froze. “He was drunk. Angry about pictures of us, he called her, and they were drunk and they kissed.” Anna explained her fingers gripping his shirt seemingly not noticing the tension rolling off Harry in waves.

“That’s no excuse Anna.” Harry growled. He felt her shake her head against him. They sat in silence for a long time as Anna cried into Harry’s chest, slowly soaking more of his shirt.

“I’m making your shirt all wet.” Anna finally sniffled.

“It’s ok Love.” Harry laughed.

“No it’s not. None of this is ok. I’m crying into another mans arms, I’m just as bad.” A new wave of tears overcame Anna as she pushed herself away from Harry.

“Anna, we are friends. There is nothing wrong with this.” Harry tried to comfort her.

“They were ‘friends’ Harry!” Anna stated using quotation marks with her fingers.

“But Love, we aren’t drunk, I’m not going to kiss you.” Harry said sitting up slightly.

“You aren’t?” Anna squeaked blushing.

“Not unless you want me to.” Harry laughed pulling her back into his arms.

“I don’t know what to do Harry. I love him. But I’m hurting. I’m hurting so much. I can’t take it.” Anna’s body began to shake.

“Focus on breathing. That’s the first thing: in and out, slowly. Listen to my heart and slow your breathing down with it.” Harry held her against him running his fingers slowly up and down her back trying to calm her.

Harry continued when her breathing had slowed down, “Next you need to focus on you. I know you are hurting. I am so sorry that you are hurting. It’s ok to hurt. But think about what you want and what you need to be ok.”

“I don’t know what I want or what I need Harry. I don’t know.” Anna shook her head and sat up from him, his arm stayed around her back, still connecting them.

“Ok, well then we focus on your family. You are all hurting at the moment. So let’s pay attention to that.” Harry suggested, her shirt had slightly lifted and his fingers made contact with the soft skin of her back, she didn’t flinch away from him.

“The funeral is this week correct?” Harry asked while she nodded. “Ok so what do you need to do for that? Anything more after today with your mum?”

“I just have to make a slideshow of Grandma to play. The funeral director was there with us today, so everything is pretty well organized.” Anna nodded wiping her eyes. Harry nodded, thinking. “It’s all so fast.” Anna took a deep breath.

“I know. How about tomorrow I help you put together the slideshow. We’ll go to your mum’s and we can get some pictures.” Harry suggested.

“Harry, why are so you good to me?” Anna asked shaking her head and smiling at him.

“Because I love you Anna.” Harry replied grinning at her.

“You what?” Anna’s face fell and Harry could feel her body stiffen.

“Like I always do Anna.” Harry covered quickly, “You’re my friend. I would do anything for you.” Anna relaxed again and Harry’s stomach untied itself from the knots it managed to weave in 0.2 of a second. “I think you should get some sleep.” Anna nodded and settled down as Harry started to get out of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Anna asked quickly sitting up again.

“Erm… home? Or to the guest room?” Harry replied.

“Oh right. Yeah. Is the guest room ok?” Anna asked.

Harry smiled and nodded in response, glad that she still wanted him to be around, but it was too risky for him to stay in the same bed as her again. 

“Goodnight Anna.”

“Goodnight Harry. Thank you.” Anna answered through a yawn as Harry shut her door.

—

Removing his now quite sodden shirt Harry climbed into the comfortable spare bed, filled with thoughts of Anna, anger at Niall and the feeling of Anna’s warmth pressed against his chest. He was so in love with her.

—

Harry woke with a start confused about where he was and the sound that woke him.

“Harry.” Anna’s voice croaked from the doorway.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Harry jumped out from under the covers and stumbled towards her.

“I don’t want to be alone.” She sniffled.

“Come on.” He pulled her into a hug before walking her to the bed.

Anna sat down carefully. “I’m so sorry Harry.”

“It’s fine Anna.” Harry replied through a yawn lying back down.

“I’m sorry I’m so weak.” Anna shook her head.

“Hey!” Harry answered softly. “Don’t say things like that. You aren’t weak. Come on lie down and get some sleep.” Anna crawled under the covers and shuffled closer to him. A hot flush of guilt ran through Harry’s body as he savored her touch against his skin even with as terrible as she felt.

“I don’t know who I am anymore.” Anna shivered before she fell asleep held carefully in his arms.

—

Anna woke up slowly, she was warm, and she felt safe and calm. A large palm was pressed against the bare skin of her stomach and she could hear gentle breaths by her ear. Her head hurt as did her legs where she’d stupidly scratched herself the night before. It was an awkwardly long time before Anna remembered that Niall didn’t hold her like this when they slept. He didn’t hold her, he practically lay on top of her and this was different. She didn’t want to move and her brain was fuzzy. Last night was a blur, yesterday was a blur, a week’s worth of emotions in one day. Fingers brushed gently against her skin making butterflies explode in their wake. Anna slowly blinked her eyes open adjusting to the light in the room. She was in the spare room. Why was she in the spare room? Anna looked down to the arm that was wrapped so tenderly around her, recognizing some tattoos… Harry’s tattoo’s. She was in bed with Harry, why was she in bed with Harry? Squeezing her eyes shut tightly she tried to remember what had happened yesterday. She remembered Harry coming over, she remembered sobbing, clutching the sheets of her bed, scratching her legs to relive some of the pressure in her body, she talked to Niall on the phone but there was blank part, the part where she ended up in the guest room with Harry. Slowly Anna tried to maneuver herself out of the bed and not wake up Harry. She was reminded again of how young he looked when he slept and she felt a rush of emotion for him. He somehow didn’t wake after she’d gotten out of the bed, he simply sighed in his sleep and rolled onto his back. The blankets slid a little down his chest and Anna caught herself admiring him before she shook herself out of it and crept out of the room.

—

“Hey Niall.” Anna answered her phone sighing. Harry was still asleep and Anna was distracting herself by cooking breakfast for when he woke up.

“You alright?” Niall asked immediately, “Want me to come over, need anything?”

“I’m ok. Just cooking breakfast.” Anna answered turning on the stove.

“Cooking breakfast?” Niall asked curiously.

“Distraction.” Anna mumbled. “Harry’s here too.” She heard his sharp intake of breath at her words. She felt guilty, but she wouldn’t hold anything back from him.

“What’s Harry doing there?” Niall asked and she could hear the strain in his voice.

“He’s being a friend to me. There’s a lot going on right now Niall. If you couldn’t tell.” Anna rubbed her temple with her free hand.

“I want to be there for you. Why won’t you let me be there for you Anna?” Niall was almost begging.

“Because you are part of the problem Niall. You hurt me. I… I’m not just going to be ok with you kissing someone else.” Anna groaned feeling tears welling up behind her eyes again. She didn’t want to cry any more.

“I….” Niall began before fading into silence.

“I know you are sorry Niall. I know that you love me. I don’t doubt any of that. I just need some time to deal.” Anna sighed.

“How… how much time?” Niall asked, his voice quavering.

“I can’t answer that Niall.” Anna shook her head.

“Can I come to the funeral on Friday?” He asked nervously.

“Yes please. That would be nice.” Anna briefly smiled, but it dropped quickly.

“Ok.” Niall sounded relieved, now that he had something to look forward to. “But please tell me whatever you need and I’ll be there.”

“I will Niall. I love you.” Anna said as she began to scramble some eggs.

“I love you too.” Niall answered, she could hear the smile in his voice before they hung up.

—

Friday came far too quickly for Anna’s liking. Harry and Lou had been her rock through the week. Her mother was starting to get over the shock of losing her only parent and Anna was starting to feel like she could breathe again. It was going to be the first time that she would see Niall in almost a week and she was nervous. They had spoken briefly and kept in contact but he’d kept his word and hadn’t come to her house as much as he wanted to. Harry and Lou had been taking turns staying in the guest room, making sure that she wasn’t alone. There was a small knock on her front door and Anna took a deep breath before answering it. Niall stood nervously on the landing a bunch of flowers in his trembling hands. He was dressed in a clean-cut black suit; he looked good, aside from the dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey.” He said quietly holding out the flowers in front of him.

“Thank you Niall.” Anna blushed and held the door open for him. After putting the flowers in a vase and slipping on her shoes Anna was ready to go. She found Niall staring at her bedroom.

“You ok?” She asked nervously.

“Yeah.” He nodded absentmindedly.

“You don’t look ok.” Anna commented studying his face.

“I just… I’m thinking things I shouldn’t be.” Niall shook his head.

“Oh.” Anna blushed briefly her stomach flipping.

“No. No!” Niall said quickly grinning briefly. “No, not that. Although I would… no that’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking something that would upset you, and I don’t want to do that, and it will.”

“What’s on your mind? I’m already upset.” Anna shrugged.

“I shouldn’t even… I…. Have you been sleeping alone?” He asked hurriedly not meeting her gaze.

“Yes.” Anna answered confused. “I mean Lou and Harry have been staying over.” She watched Niall’s shoulders drop in relief. “I did… erm… I couldn’t sleep one night… so… Harry and I shared a bed…” She trailed off watching Niall tense completely. “I’m just being honest with you, but nothing would ever happen. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“It’s ok.” Niall was breathing heavily. “Really. It’s ok. Should we go?”

“Uh… yeah.” Anna agreed nervously.

—

Niall’s heart broke as he watched the tears run down Anna’s face through the ceremony. He was surprised when she’d gripped his hand tightly in hers and refused to let go. He wanted to support her completely but he didn’t know how much that meant for her. He would take all the pain if he could but instead he had to sit and watch as she broke. Harry and Lou were both at the funeral, as he knew they would be. He still felt the sting of jealousy as Harry and Anna hugged, longer than necessary, Niall would argue. The service was beautiful; Anna and her mother had worked hard. Niall was also amazed at the amount of people that arrived. He wondered how many people would turn up if this were for him. How many people would actually care? Who would he actually want? Anna turned her head to his shoulder and rested against him as the service finished. Niall relished the contact and held onto her tightly resting his chin against the top of her head. He could feel her shuddering beneath him. People left the church including Anna’s mother to continue onto the wake as Anna and Niall sat quietly in the church.

“I love you.” Niall’s words echoed through the empty church, Anna nodded against him. “Ready to go to the wake?”

Anna sat up slowly wiping her eyes. “Thank you. So much. For everything.”

“I didn’t do anything baby.” Niall brushed some of the hair out of her face.

“You did so much. Just being here. I love you Niall. I love you so much. I’m still hurt. I’m hurting and I don’t know how to make it stop. But I love you.” More tears fell from Anna’s eyes.

“I love you.” Niall leaned forward slowly and gently captured her lips with his own. Their first kiss in more than a week and Niall could have exploded with joy.

—

Harry stood in the doorway of the church watching Anna and Niall. Their words echoed through the empty building, he could hear everything. He could even hear the burning in Anna’s voice as she spoke. But the words were still knives in Harry’s stomach. Why couldn’t she love him like she loved Niall? Why couldn’t she love him the way that Harry loved her? He would do anything for her. The nights that they’d shared a bed Harry had never slept so well. He’d woken up a few times before her just to make sure that his life was real. That it was really her curled into his chest, her breath fluttering across his chest. Even when they’d spooned and he’d struggled to calm himself down, she hadn’t moved away, she’d slept just as soundly. He couldn’t ignore these feelings for her. When he saw Niall kiss her Harry’s heart broke further. She pulled away quickly, but he saw the smile on her face. Why did he have to fall so hard for her? Why did he have to waste his energy on a relationship that meant nothing when Anna was right in front of him? Why was his timing so wrong? Harry rubbed his eyes, stopping the tears that were brimming from spilling over. He cleared his throat as he saw them start walking towards him, their hands entwined.

“Harry?” Anna dropped Niall’s hand and walked toward Harry faster. “Harry?” Her voice was shaking. “Are you ok?” Her hands cupped his cheeks, her eyes searching his. Her eyes were bright green, glassy and red rimmed.

“’M fine.” Harry mumbled trying to grin at her.

“Harry. I can see that you aren’t. Don’t lie to me.” Anna replied stubbornly as the warmth of her palms melted into his skin.

“It’s not about me today. It’s about you.” Harry sniffed.

“Technically it’s about my Grandma.” Anna smiled as a tear slid down her cheek slowly. Harry wanted to shout how much he loved her, he wanted to be the one that would make it all okay, but instead he smiled back at her and nodded.

“Thank you Harry.” Anna dropped her hands from his face and wrapped her arms around his waist. Harry had no hesitation in hugging her back.

“I didn’t do anything Love.” Harry said into her hair.

“You did. You did so much this week. I love you. I can’t ever thank you enough.” Anna said pulling back. Niall slid his hand back into Anna’s and Harry’s heart clenched; he’d almost forgotten he was there. Anna constantly told Harry how much she loved him. When would she realize how true it was?

—

Anna slipped her shoes off her feet feeling the instant relief as soon as she got home. Lou and Harry were ten minutes away; Niall closed the door behind her.

“I’m so tired.” Anna said through a yawn. “That was a long day.” They’d just finished cleaning up the wake and decided that they should head back to Anna’s to debrief.

“I know. You did so well. I’m so proud of you.” Niall pulled off his own shoes and shrugged off his jacket. Anna immediately filled the kettle and turned it on, pulling down four mugs and tea bags.

“Sometimes I forget how English you are, and then you go an’ make tea as soon as you walk in the door.” Niall laughed from the doorway, watching her move around the kitchen.

“Tea. Soothes the soul.” Anna smiled, it was small, but it was the first time she’d really smiled at Niall all day, it finally touched her eyes. It gave him hope. Anna and Niall turned in unison at the sound of knocking on the front door.

“I’ll get it.” Niall smiled at her leaving her to continue what she’d started.

“Niall!” Lou’s voice boomed through the hallway after he’d opened the door. “We got Chinese food.” Anna could hear the rustling of plastic bags as Lou made her way to the kitchen. “Grab some plates love. We got food.” Lou announced.

“I was just making some tea.” Anna said as the kettle started to whistle.

“Perfect. Tea and Chinese- sounds fabulous.” Lou started to unpack the food.

“How about we hold the tea, and just have the Chinese?” Anna laughed fetching some plates.

“Sounds even more excellent.” Lou grinned popping open the lids of the take away.

—

Quiet settled around the room as the last of the food was finished. Anna could feel Harry’s eyes on her as Niall sat with his arm around her shoulders. Anna didn’t entirely know why she was avoiding Harry’s gaze; but she knew that if she looked back at him something was going to change. She’d known it since she’d hugged him at the church. There was something about the way he looked at her. There was something about the way that she looked back at him. Something had shifted. It had been changing through the week, but something happened at the church and Anna knew if she looked at him now, she would break. Something would happen and she had no idea what it was. So she looked down fiercely avoiding his gaze, the fear of the unknown keeping her eyes firmly planted on the ground.

“Anna, do you remember that time that I stayed over your house and your grandma was making breakfast and she set half the kitchen on fire?” Lou suddenly asked laughing. Anna laughed in response.

“Yes. It was the toaster that caught fire wasn’t it?” Anna remembered.

“Yes!” Lou confirmed.

“Wait? What’s this?” Niall asked eagerly, glad the conversation had started again.

“I was staying at Anna’s and her Grandmother was there. She kept going on and on about how she was this marvelous cook.” Lou began.

“Then Lou starts challenging her to cook something. And I’m there shaking my head, trying to make her stop.” Anna continued smiling. “To be fair, she was an excellent baker, but it was simple things like toast or scrambled eggs that she was shocking at.”

“So she puts the toaster on, but the bread just wouldn’t stay down.” Lou laughed at the memory.

“She hadn’t turned it on.” Anna giggled.

“So she shoves a wooden spoon in with the bread to keep it down.” Lou groaned as Anna covered her face with her hands shaking her head. “Then she realizes it’s not on, so she switches it on, but doesn’t take out the spoon.”

“We tried to stop her. We were telling her that it was going to catch on fire.” Anna uncovered her face, adding to the story.

“Remember she told us…”

“That’s not how toasters work Loves.” Anna and Lou laughed in unison. Niall and Harry were chuckling at the story.

“Sure enough, soon there’s fire leaping up the cupboards in the kitchen.” Lou laughed wiping a tear from her eyes.

“I basically leap over the counter and unplug the toaster. Lou throws a wet flannel at the fire and puts it out. The wooden spoon in the toaster is burnt to a crisp; the toast pops out just absolutely charcoal black.” Anna shook her head at the memory.

“You know what her Grandma says to us.” Lou was shaking her head as well.

“She takes a bite and she says…” Anna giggled.

“Got a smoky flavor doesn’t it?” Anna and Lou said together before dissolving into a fit of laughter, Niall and Harry joining in.

Anna wiped away the tears from her eyes and her gaze met Harry’s by accident and she felt it. She felt the change. The way Harry looked at her. It broke her heart. How had she not seen it before? He loved her. And she… how did she feel? Niall. The thought came so quickly. She loved Niall so much. But Harry. There were feelings there. She knew it.

“Excuse me.” Anna stood up quickly and left her room, she felt everyone’s eyes on her back but she especially felt Harry’s eyes follow her.

—

Harry felt it. She’d been avoiding his eyes all night, he knew it, but he’d caught her gaze for a second and something in his stomach jolted. The way her eyes met his. It was a glimpse, a fraction of a second, a mere pass, but he saw it, that was the way he’d seen her look at Niall countless times. Her eyes met his and something shifted. Harry’s whole world was thrown sideways as she looked at him with what he’d always wanted. Love.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have brought up her Grandma.” Lou murmured.

“No love.” Harry comforted Lou. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

“I’ll go check on her.” Niall said standing up quickly. Harry wanted to be the one that checked on her, that wiped every stray tear from her cheek, the one that she leant on. For the first time he felt like he was one step closer to that happening.

—

“Anna? You ok?” Niall knocked on her closed bedroom door.

“I’m fine Niall.” Anna replied, her voice shaking.

“Do you want company?” He asked his hand on the doorknob ready to enter the room.

“I don’t know.” Anna’s voice wavered after a brief pause.

“I’m coming in.” Niall said taking a deep breath and opening the door. Anna sat in the middle of her bed, her knees curled into her chest, arms wrapped around herself.

“Anna?” Niall approached her slowly. “Baby, what’s going on?” He sat on the edge of the bed and gently reached out to her.

“I don’t know Niall. I really don’t.” Anna replied quietly meeting his eyes.

“Is it your grandma?” He asked adjusting his position on the bed.

“It’s everything Niall. It’s Grandma, it’s school, it’s you, it’s Harry, it’s Lou. It’s everything. I can’t handle it. My brain feels like it’s going to explode.” Anna’s voice was quiet, timid, almost scared to speak above a certain level for fear of shattering something.

“I… I don’t know how to help.” Niall answered honestly. “I want to take away this pain, but I don’t know how.”

“I’m sorry that I’m like this.” Anna whispered.

“No! No, never apologize. I love you just the way you are.” Niall quickly rebutted watching the tears start to slip from her eyes again.

“I am so sick of crying.” Anna groaned. “It feels like that’s all I’m doing these days.”

“I know it does. But you will be happy again. I know it sucks. I’m here for you. We all are. We love you Anna.” Niall moved so that he could put his arm around her shoulders and pull her against his chest, happy that she willingly moved into him.

—

Niall smelt like home, manly, comforting, she needed his embrace. She needed to be reminded how much she loved him, how much he loved her and how much he meant to her. She needed Harry out of her mind. He brain was thinking too fast and it was making her sick and dizzy. She needed to not think for a while. She needed to be distracted. She wanted to be happy again. There was a knock on her doorframe where Lou and Harry stood. Anna refused to look him in the eyes again. Too fearful of what it would mean for her.

“We are going to head off. It’s getting late.” Lou said smiling at her. “Unless you want one of us to stay.” She looked uncertainly between Niall and Anna.

“No it’s ok, Niall’s going to stay with me.” Anna replied clearly. She could see Harry’s shoulders slump slightly in her periphery. She wouldn’t have noticed any other time, but that glance had changed so much.

“Ok. Well you call me when you need anything yeah?” Lou entered the room as Anna shuffled away from Niall and stood up.

“Thank you Lou. Thank you so much.” Anna hugged her tightly.

“I would do anything for you sweetheart. Come and play with Lux this weekend. Take your mind off things. Only if you want too.” Lou held her tightly.

“I will. Thanks Lou. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Lou squeezed her once more before letting go.

Before Anna knew what was happening Harry had engulfed her into his arms. He smelt strong and musky, Anna knew her heart fluttered at the sensation and tried to dull it’s trembling.

“I love you Anna. So much.” He whispered into her hair, so quietly she wasn’t even sure if she was meant to hear it. Anna melted into his arms at the sincerity of his words. When he pulled back she was speechless, his lips touched her cheek briefly and then were gone and she was standing in an empty doorway.


	24. "Haven’t I had enough?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning.

“Anna? You ok?” Niall’s voice drifted into her conscious.

“I’m fine.” Anna shook her head, trying to clear it. Harry. How dare he! How dare he love her like that! How dare he make her feel those things! She was vulnerable; she didn’t know what she was feeling, except confusion. She recognized that feeling pretty well. She needed to be distracted. No more thoughts of Harry. Only Niall. Anna turned slowly, her fingers moving to the back of her dress to undo her zipper.

“Anna, what are you doing?” Niall cleared his throat.

“What does it look like I am doing?” She asked as she dropped the black material at her feet.

“It looks like you are getting naked.” Niall was blushing, his eyes running feverishly over her body.

“Do you have an issue with that?” Anna asked as she unclasped her bra.

“N… no. Not entirely.” Niall stuttered as the next piece of clothing was dropped to the floor.

“I think you are wearing too many clothes Niall.” Anna said softly as she walked toward him.

“I don’t think you are thinking properly.” Niall said as he watched her stalk towards him.

“I need to be distracted from all the mess that’s in my head. I just need to forget for a second what is happening. I need you to show me how much you love me. I need you.” Anna said straddling him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Anna.” Niall tried to say sternly, his hands holding her hips.

“Niall.” Anna whispered, picking his hands from her sides and guiding them onto her naked breasts.

“Anna I don’t think this is what you want.” Niall’s voice was husky with arousal as he automatically cupped her body.

“This is exactly what I want.” Anna’s voice was barely audible before she connected their lips and rolled her hips against his crotch, pleased at his groaning response. Niall moved to her hands that were making quick work of the buttons on his shirt.

“Are you sure Anna?” He stilled her hands and met her gaze.

Anna bit her lip and nodded before kissing him again. This time Niall didn’t hesitate as she pushed the material from his shoulders and worked it down his arms. Her fingernail scraped gently up and down his biceps as she ground herself down on his lap. A growl came from Niall’s chest as Anna connected her lips to his neck, kissing, sucking and biting her way along his collarbone and shoulder. His hands moved over her back, cupping her behind and gently squeezing, fingers running up her back again and pressing her chest against his. Slowly he pulled them to a lying position, Niall on his back, Anna still straddling him. From this position she was able to work her way slowly down his chest. Tongue running languidly over his nipples and she moved further down his chest and torso. Niall let out a heavy breath as Anna stood up between his legs that were hanging over the edge of the bed and undid the button on his slacks. Anna’s brain was still working over time to distract herself. She concentrated on getting the buttons undone and guiding the material from his legs. Next the boxers were to come and she could see his erection outlined, his chest rising and falling heavily with each breath as she stripped him bare. Anna ran her fingernails over his thighs, pleased with a pleasured sigh escaping his lips. Climbing over onto his lap again Anna ground down on his gently, pleased to relieve some of the pressure that was building in her body.

Niall wrapped his arms around her pulling her flush against his body. His skin was hot as he clung to her and kissed her deeply. Anna closed her eyes and tried to concentrate of the feeling of his tongue playing with hers, the feel of his skin rubbing against hers, the feel of the heat of his erection between her legs, but suddenly Harry’s face would burst into her mind and she’d be lost again. She needed this to be faster, so indulgent and all consuming that she couldn’t think of anything else. Reaching between their bodies Anna grasped Niall firmly in her hands and ran him back and forth over her heat, collecting some of her body’s lubrication, ready to sink down on him. Niall shuddered at her actions, but didn’t ask her to slow down. Carefully Anna sank down on him and felt him stretch her core, the feeling distracting her brain completely. She’d missed Niall. She missed this. Anna didn’t really “crave sex” per-se, but she knew that she’d missed this after the fight that they’d had. Their bodies connecting on the most intimate level, she let Niall have all of her, and she had all of him, she didn’t need anyone else. Slowly Anna began to move, feeling her muscles move on their own accord to grasp him and not let him go. Niall cursed as she began to move faster, his hands moving to cup her breasts, her nipples in firm peaks. Anna sank down as far as she could feeling Niall hit a familiar spot that made her tremble as Niall swore loudly and encouraged her on.

Niall’s breath was coming faster, and sure sign that soon he would come, but Anna wasn’t ready for that, she still had thoughts assaulting her, her distraction wasn’t working. Hooking her heels around the back of Niall’s knees she pressed their chests together. Niall knew the signal and rolled them, keeping their bodies connected. The move had taken practice but they could do it easily now, Anna grinned in response as Niall now took charge. Lifting her right leg and connecting it around the back of his hips Niall used his other arm to wrap around her hip and bring her closer to him. He was now thrusting in at a new angle, one that Anna thoroughly enjoyed. He was brushing the spot that made her legs tremble but she wasn’t quiet there yet. She wanted full contact, she wanted it rough and hectic. Anna wrapped her left leg on the opposite the right and pulled Niall’s hips in rougher thrusts to her body. Niall raised an eyebrow at her, never had she been this desperate, or eager for him to move faster. Anna usually liked it slow and careful, each thrust longer than the last, this was new, this was foreign and Niall wasn’t complaining as he started to pound into her, surprised to hear her moan of pleasure.

Anna closed her eyes and tried to pay attention to the pleasure that was vibrating through her body, but at specific thrusts Anna would get a vision of Harry’s eyes, or the way his hair curled, she swore that at some point she could smell his cologne but soon realized it was the pillow she was lying on. Anna begged Niall to do more, thrust harder, deeper, anything and he obliged. She knew he was wearing out, the new pace foreign and far too enjoyable for him to be able to hold on. Niall moved his hand between their bodies and started to rub small circles against her clit. Niall had never done that before, he’d never needed to. Anna squealed as tingles ran from her head to her toes.

“Anna.” Niall growled in warning. Anna panicked, it wasn’t enough, Harry was still clouding her thoughts.

“I love you so fucking much Anna.” Niall panted his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy; sweat was glistening from chest as he moved.

“I love you Niall.” Anna’s voice was puffed but she felt so far away from climax. At her words Niall let himself go emptying himself into her with each pound. Exhausted he nearly collapsed on her but held himself up with shaking arms.

“Holy… fuck Anna.” Niall gasped as he struggled for breath. Anna smiled at him, pulling him against her chest and running her fingers through his sweaty blonde hair as a tear escaped her eye. It hadn’t been enough. She loved Niall. She loved him so much, but Harry was somehow always in the back of her thoughts. He’d ruined her. Harry had broken Anna down. All he did was love her.

–

“You didn’t come?” Niall asked once he’d regained his breath. Anna shook her head in response a tight-lipped smile on her face. “I’m sorry baby.” Niall kissed her deeply and she could feel him starting to harden again still inside her.

“It’s ok.” Anna replied when he’d moved his mouth down her neck.

“It’s not.” Niall said between kisses. “I need to show you how much I love you. The way you showed me.”

Anna felt the sting of guilt run through her gut at his words. Slowly Niall began to move in her once more.

“You are so perfect Anna.” Niall cupped one of her breasts in his hand. “You fit so perfectly with me. I love you so much.” Niall continued to kiss every part of her that he could. “Fuck Anna. Your body. Shit.” Niall’s body was becoming weak after finishing so soon and trying again. Anna could feel his body trembling again. She set her thoughts firmly on him. The blue of his eyes that shone with love every time he looked at her. The softness of his lips that ran up and down her body- lips that delivered pleasure to her body in so many ways. Anna concentrated completely on Niall, the feeling of his body moving in sync with hers, the way that he knew her completely, knew her body, knew her mind. Harry. His name burst forth into her mind. Niall didn’t know her mind completely. Anna shifted her hips in time with Niall’s trying to focus again and push Harry from her mind. Once more Niall began to rub small circles on her clit causing her to clench around Niall tightly.

Niall groaned in response. “Come on baby. Come with me.” Niall encouraged as he continued to rub and thrust in time. Anna could feel the pressure building in her stomach, as she got closer.

“Eyes open Niall.” Anna demanded. His eyes snapped open and concentrating on the depth of the blue Anna allowed herself to come undone, followed closely by Niall emptying himself for a second time. Both their bodied spent Niall slowly pulled himself from her body and fell beside her on the bed.

“I love you so fucking much Anna.” Niall sighed heavily completely sated.

“I love you Niall.” Anna smiled, the memory of Niall filling her completely overtaking her every thought.

—

It had been two days since Harry had seen Anna. Two days and it was killing him. He knew that something had shifted between them; he just didn’t think that it would mean two days of silence. He’d sent her messages, he’d tried calling but there was no response. News stations were going wild with stories of Anna and Niall walking around London, looking completely in love. Seeing the photos made Harry’s stomach turn but there was something addictive about it that kept him coming back. Maybe the reason Harry couldn’t stop looking at the pictures was Anna. Anna grinning, smiling, laughing, looking exceptionally happy, Harry imagined that it was him that she was with. His lips she was kissing, laughing at his joke, not Niall’s. Harry’s imagination was interrupted with Niall. Harry shut his computer with a snap, not wanting to see anything else. He ran his hands through his hair tugging on the roots in frustration. She’d gone from sharing a bed, calling him at every meltdown, having him as her rock to nothing. No contact at all. Harry had had enough. He needed to see her. He needed to talk to her. He needed to tell her how much he loved her, what it meant for him and then she could make a decision from there. She just had to know.

—

“When’s your flight?” Anna asked as Niall packed his bag.

“Three hours.” Niall replied closing the zipper and pulling his bag from the bed and onto the floor.

“So we still have a little while.” Anna smirked starting to unbutton her shirt.

“Not really. I have to get to the airport.” Niall said absentmindedly still looking at his bag.

“We have enough time.” Anna said removing her bra and hugging him from behind. Niall grinned and rotated in her arms his jaw dropping when he saw that she was half naked.

“Anna.”

“Niall.” Anna tilted her face upwards and Niall obliged the kiss.

“Anna, there’s not enough…” Niall didn’t finish his sentence as Anna grasped his growing erection.

“There’s always time.” Anna breathed undoing his jeans quickly and dropping to her knees.

“Anna.” Niall’s voice raised into a squeak as she took him into her mouth, “F…fuck.” His hands moved to her hair and pulled it off her neck gently as she moved her mouth around him.

“Anna. You are insatiable at the moment.” Niall’s words were stuttered as pleasure assaulted his body. Anna ran her nails on the inside of his thighs as she worked one hand gently grasping his sack and squeezing gently.

“Fuck Anna.” Niall gasped. Anna dropped him from her mouth and continued to stroke him with her hand before she licked a long stripe from base to tip and taking him in her mouth again. Hollowing her cheeks Anna sucked hard. “Shit Anna. I’m gonna come.”

Anna let him drop from her mouth and immediately stood up.

“No, not yet. I need you.” Anna panted as she removed her jeans and underwear in one swoop and grabbing his hand and pulling him back on the bed.

“Anna, What’s gotten into you?” Niall asked as Anna dragging him on top of her.

“I’m not going to see you for a long time Niall. I want to enjoy you as much as I can. Is there anything wrong with that?” Anna asked staring up into his clear blue eyes.

“No. No baby there’s nothing wrong with that.” Niall replied bending to kiss her while Anna wrapped her legs around his hips pulling him closer to her.

—

Harry tried to call Anna; he even tried to call Niall to find out if they were home. Trusting a few gossip sites he’d worked out that they’d headed back to Anna’s but he wanted to warn them before he got there. He just needed to see her. See that she was ok. That’s what he would tell Niall. That he just wanted to check up on them. Running a hand through his hair Harry pressed down on the accelerator.

—

“Fuck Niall. Keep going.” Anna gasped as Niall moved quickly. She was approaching her climax and so was Niall. He just needed to hold on a little bit longer. Niall slowed slightly and Anna’s eyes widened unsure of what he was doing before he pounded into her deeper than she thought possible and her climax came faster and harder than she’d ever felt before as she felt his release vibrate through her body.

“Shit.” Anna panted before she kissed Niall roughly. “I love you so fucking much. Please don’t leave me.”

Niall laughed as he pulled out and fell beside her on the bed. “Usually I’m the one cursing.”

“I think it was called for.” Anna gasped as she laughed.

“Did you hear that?” Niall asked sitting up slightly.

“Someone knocked on the door.” Anna sat up on her elbows.

“Do you want to get it?” Niall laughed looking at her flushed cheeks and messy hair.

“No.” Anna laughed sitting up properly.

“Are you going to?”

“Yes.” Anna groaned and picked up Niall’s shirt from the floor and threw it over her head, glad that it covered her behind.

“You’re answering like that?” Niall grinned sitting up from the bed and looking for his pants.

“It’ll be fine.” Anna hushed him trotting out the door.

“Don’t bend over, you’ll give them a heart attack.” Niall called as Anna laughed.

—

“Harry.” Anna gasped as he stood at the door. Harry’s eyes widened as he saw Anna answer the door in just a shirt, her hands immediately pulling the hem down.

“Anna. I er… I tried calling. Is this a bad time?” The chill from the outside was collecting around Anna’s bare legs and she shivered, nipples becoming prominent as Harry’s crotch unintentionally hardened at the sight.

“I was erm, just in the… ahh…” Anna was stumbling over her words.

“Harry?” Niall walked down the hallway pulling up his jeans. It clicked to Harry. He’d just interrupted them having sex. Could he be any more of an idiot?

“I should go.” Harry said quickly turning.

“Harry wait.” Anna called out reaching to touch his shoulder. He turned around his gaze automatically going to the bare flesh of her thigh and feeling himself harden further.

“Yes Anna.” Harry asked trying to avoid having his gaze drift to her chest or down further. Niall had his arm around her and the shirt had lifted slightly. Harry knew she wasn’t wearing underwear and blood continued to rush through his body.

“It’s good seeing you.” Anna smiled, her hair was a mess and her cheeks were flushed. Harry’s mind was drifting far too much to concentrate. He needed to get out of there.

“Yeah. No worries. I’ll ahh… I’ll see you round.” Again Harry turned to leave and jogged down her steps. Turning to get into his car he looked up once more to see Niall and Anna kissing. Anna turned and closed the door giving Harry as fairly good view of her arse. Harry jumped in the car and undid the zipper of his jeans trying to take away the constriction as he sped back home.

—

“Oh my gosh.” Anna groaned covering her face while Niall laughed. “It’s not funny.”

“Your face though.” Niall continued to chuckle.

“I answered the door just in a shirt. Niall I’m so embarrassed.” Anna groaned following him to the bedroom to put on some actual clothes.

“I’m sure Harry didn’t mind.” Niall winked at her as she stripped off her shirt.

“You’re an arse you know that.” Anna smirked at him as she clipped her bra and bent to pick up her previously discarded shirt.

“Hey, what happened to “I love you”, what happened to “please don’t leave”?” Niall grinned wrapping her up in his arms.

“All those feelings are gone. Gone forever. Nice knowing you.” Anna smiled resting her arms around his neck.

“Really? Just like that?” Anna nodded in response. Niall sighed dramatically, “Well I guess it was good while it lasted.”

“You’re such an idiot.” Anna laughed letting go of him to put on her jeans again.

“But I’m your idiot.” Niall laughed slapping her bum lightly making her squeal.

“Yes you are. Now get some shoes on my idiot. Someone’s got a plane to catch.”

—

Harry lay on his bed, sweaty, exhausted but nowhere near satisfied. He only knew one person that would be able to satisfy him the way he needed and she was currently seeing his best friend off at the airport after having sex with him. The images Harry received that afternoon of Anna just in a shirt, nipples perked at the temperature, a brief glance at her bare arse was enough to have him coming repeatedly but his hand just wasn’t doing the job. But now Niall was heading home. Maybe now he would be able to spend some time with Anna. Maybe now was the time that he told her how he felt about her. They had two weeks before their new tour kicked off in Singapore. Two weeks for Harry sort out the mess in his mind.

—

Anna was back at school, it was a good distraction and she hadn’t spoken to Harry since he’d come to the house on the day that Niall left. As the final bell of the day rang and children started to run out of the room Anna yelled a final warning to be careful of the ice outside before slumping back into her chair exhausted. Today had been a particularly trying day. Rubbing her hands over her face and cursing at herself for wearing make up and probably smudging it down her cheeks Anna sighed heavily as she started to pack up her books.

“Excuse me Miss?” A voice came from her doorway and she straightened slowly. She knew that voice anywhere.

Anna turned slowly, “What can I do for you Mr. Styles?”

“I was just wondering if my friend had any time for me. I’ve been missing her.” Harry answered his hip resting against the doorframe his arms folded.  
“I see.” Anna replied biting her lip. All distractions were thrown out the window as Harry stood in front of her, his shirt slightly unbuttoned, hair a mess, hair that made her want to run her hands through it.

“Here’s my problem. I’m not in London very often and I would like to see her, but it feels like she’s been ignoring me. I would just like to spend some time with her.” Harry said slowly walking into the room.

“Perhaps she has a lot on her plate right now.” Anna suggested as she gathered some of the worksheets on her desk.

“Well that’s the thing. Usually when she has a lot on she usually calls me for help, or just to you know, hang out.” Harry answered.

“Maybe she doesn’t need any help this time. Maybe she’s looking at someone else for help.” Anna’s voice faltered.

“Maybe.” Harry mused a finger playing with his bottom lip. “Or maybe she’s avoiding me.”

“Why would she be doing that?” Anna closed her bag and stood up straight surprised at Harry’s close proximity.

“I think it’s because she’s realized that she’s in love with me.” Harry whispered before he connected their lips. Anna was stunned at first but soon entwined her hands in Harry thick curls as she kissed him harder. He tasted better than she’d imagined, his whole body overtaking hers as he walked her backwards to the desk, making her sit on top of his and open her legs for him to stand in between while he continued to kiss her. Anna moaned as his lips travelled down her neck and across her collarbone. Harry’s hands rested on her thighs, fingers slowly moving to where she needed him most. She shuddered at the feeling of his callous fingers coming into contact with her skin, just as he was about to delve into her heat, Anna gazed into his light blue eyes. Blue eyes? Anna pulled back to see Niall smiling at her, her fingers tugging on his short blonde hair.

—

Anna woke up sweating. It was a dream. Why had she dreamt that? Harry turned into Niall. What did that mean? Anna rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. 7:03am. She needed to get up and go to work. Wiping thoughts of Niall and Harry from her mind Anna slowly got out of bed and started to get ready for her day.

—

Anna was jittery all day, expecting Harry or Niall to walk through her classroom door. She was relieved when the final bell rang and her students began to pack up.

“Don’t forget your homework and read tonight please.” Anna called out to the class as they filed out the door. She felt the stirrings of a headache start behind her eyes and she started to rub her temples before she collected the work sheets from each desk to look over that night.

“You look stressed.” A voice from the doorway.

“Just tired is all.” Anna answered automatically before looking up and jumping slightly. “Harry! What are you doing here?”

“Missed my friend. Apparently her phone’s broken.” Harry shrugged taking a step into the room. Anna took a step backwards into one of the desks as he entered.

“What… what makes you say that?” Anna asked, this morning’s dream vividly coming back.

“You don’t answer my texts or my calls.” Harry replied his voice was hurt.

“I’ve been a bit busy.” Anna defended starting to collect the papers again.

“You answer Lou’s calls and texts.” Harry stated watching her move around the room.

“Lux.” Anna answered barely audible.

Harry laughed, “Are you saying that if I had a child you would have answered?”

Anna smiled and shrugged.

“Well. Are you free for dinner tonight?” Harry asked taking another step towards her, confused when she took a step back again.

“I have marking.” Anna said weakly.

“Excellent. We’ll go to yours. I’ll cook.” Harry replied happily picking up her bag from the floor and holding it out to her. “Please Anna. I miss you.” He continued seeing the hesitation on her face.

“Ok Harry.” Anna smiled at him. She couldn’t bear to see him upset and he knew it, pulling out puppy dog eyes at her. “You and those puppy dog eyes Styles. You could get me to kill a man.” She rolled her eyes at him and took her bag from him as she turned out the lights in her room.

“Not kill a man. Just dinner with me.” Harry answered contentedly almost skipping with excitement next to her as they left the school grounds.

—

-Having dinner with Harry at mine. Just so you know. Love you.- Niall read the message a few times. It didn’t bother him that they were having dinner. Scratch that. It shouldn’t bother him that they were having dinner. But it did. He took a deep breath. He knew that Anna had been avoiding Harry, so wasn’t sure why the change in heart.

Sighing he replied to her –Have a good night. Call me when you can. Love you too.-

He would give his blessing to them having dinner. They’d had enough fights about it, and she’d never kissed Harry. He had one night out with Hannah and it had nearly destroyed his relationship. Speaking of Hannah, she’d been texting him non-stop. He’d been yet to reply, but that didn’t stop the influx of messages he received daily. Niall was surprised to have his phone start vibrating in his hand as Anna’s name flashed up on the screen.

“Anna, you alright?” He answered.

“Yeah. You just said call when you can. Just wanted to see that you were ok.” Anna replied down the crackly line of the phone.

“I’m fine. Where are you?” Niall asked pleased to hear her voice and that she’d responded so soon.

“Walking home with Harry. We were just in Sainsbury’s getting food for dinner.” Anna replied breathlessly.

“Oh sorry baby. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” Niall apologized his stomach clenching at the thought of such a “normal couple task” that he’d missed out on once again.

“You’re never interrupting. I’ve always got time for you.” Anna replied happily.

“You sound cold.” Niall commented hearing the shiver in her voice.

“It’s winter. I’m constantly cold.” Anna replied giggling.

“Right. Well call me tonight if you want too. If it’s not too late.” Niall said grinning. Anna’s voice was enough to always put a smile on his face.

“Shall do. Love you Niall.” Anna agreed.

“Love you too baby. Be safe.” Niall replied.

“Always am.” Anna hung up the phone and Niall put down the phone. Could he be any more in love with her?

—

Harry was slightly disgruntled that Anna had called Niall right after he’d messaged her. Harry wanted to spend time with her, to figure out what was going on between them; he didn’t want to share her with Niall. Harry mentally kicked himself. “Share her with Niall.” She was dating the bloke; she was never Harry’s to share.

“Niall ok?” He asked as they walked to her house.

“Yeah he’s fine.” Anna said quietly, it had been more of an effort than Harry was used to, to get her to talk. She also kept her arms wrapped around her, avoiding touching him, which was extremely unusual.

“You cold?” Harry asked after a long silence.

“I’m always cold.” Anna laughed.

“Right.” Harry smiled at her and they made brief eye contact before she looked away quickly.

“You ok Anna?” Harry brushed the hair out of his eyes, wishing he’d brought a beanie.

“Fine. Why?” Anna answered shortly.

“You’re answering me in three words or less.” Harry pointed out as they rounded a corner.

“Not much to say.” Anna shrugged.

“Four words. Praise the Lord.” Harry said sarcastically under his breath as they started to approach her place. Anna giggled at his response and Harry’s heart warmed to the sound.

“It’s been pretty icy over the past couple of days. Be careful on the steps.” Anna said as she dug around in her bag for the keys.

“I’m always careful love.” Harry shook his head watching her hair falling in her eyes with her head down.

“Pft.” Anna scoffed. “You’re like Bambi on the ice at the best of times Harry. Sometimes I wonder how you don’t fall over more.”

“What are you talking about?” Harry laughed.

Anna looked up and brushed the hair out of her eyes, her keys in the other hand. “You’re all long and lanky. Limbs everywhere. I’m not even sure if you have control over them.”

“Long and lanky?” Harry mocked offence. “Well I never.”

“I’m just saying, be careful on the…” Anna was cut off as she slipped on the step and fell backwards into Harry’s arms, “ice.”

Harry’s stomach bubbled as she pressed against his body. “What was that about being careful?” Harry laughed loudly.

“Shut up.” Anna laughed shaking her head at him.

“No, no, please go on. How I’m large and lanky and clumsy?” Harry said still holding onto her.

“I never said clumsy.” Anna defended, her eyes glowing.

“No you called me Bambi on ice.” Harry said grinning at her.

“Can I get up now?” Anna asked rolling her eyes.

“I don’t know. Can you?” Harry teased.

“Not with you holding me.” Anna argued smiling at him.

“I’m not sure I trust you to stand, let alone walk.” Harry shook his head seriously.

“Shut up and let me up.” Anna chuckled using his hands as a support to help her stand up.

“I’m here as a brace if you need me.” Harry said seriously with one eyebrow raised as she started to unlock the door.

“Shush.” Anna laughed shaking her head as she opened the door for them.

—

“Get out me kitchen.” Harry scolded as Anna peaked over his shoulder to see what he was making. Peak around his shoulder was far more accurate as she had to stand on her tiptoes to see what was happening.

“Pretty sure it’s my kitchen Harry.” Anna laughed as she moved away from the stove and picked up her half empty wine glass.

“Not while I’m cooking.” Harry disagreed stirring a pot. “Now, where’s the grater?”

“You’d think you’d know that, this being your kitchen and all that.” Anna laughed.

“It is my kitchen. Someone just moved all my utensils around.” Harry said opening the cutlery draw.

“How inconvenient of them.” Anna said sarcastically as she reached around him to open the cupboard housing the grater.

“Extremely rude in my opinion.” Harry nodded his head in thanks as she handed it to him.

“People these days.” Anna sighed sitting down at the bench.

“No respect for other peoples things.” Harry said starting to grate some cheese.

“No respect.” Anna repeated smiling into her wine before drinking more.

—

“Plate up.” Harry yelled after tasting whatever was in the pot.

“Are you asking me to get plates out?” Anna laughed standing up from her chair.

“That’s what they say in restaurants.” Harry shrugged as Anna fetched two plates and handed them to him.

“Is this your restaurant?” Anna asked grinning at him.

“Yep.” Harry replied popping the ‘p’. “A La Styles. A La Harry. Styles Sit and Eat.”

“I hope you don’t name the songs or the albums.” Anna shook her head at him.

“What’s wrong with ‘Styles Sit and Eat’?” He asked as he dished up the food. Anna raised an eyebrow at him in response. “Ok Miss Sarcastic.” Harry reprimanded making Anna laugh again.

“So what are we eating?” Anna asked as Harry put the plate in front of her.

“Chicken Casserole, Stew, but not Casserole or Stew.” Harry said slowly, taking a seat next to her.

“So chicken then?” Anna confirmed.

“Yep. Chicken. Tomato thing. With Rice.” Harry nodded picking up his fork.

“This is why you aren’t allowed to name things.” Anna laughed before picking up her own fork and starting to eat.

Harry picked up his glass to raise a toast as Anna had a mouthful. “To not letting this kill us.” Anna choked as she laughed and picked up her own glass clinking it lightly against his.

—

“I have marking to do.” Anna sighed as Harry started to collect the dishes.

“Ok. You go start on that and I’ll clean the kitchen.” Harry said, collecting the dirty dishes and moving them over to the sink.

“It’s ok. I’ll clean it. You cooked, I’ll clean.” Anna said standing up and moving towards the sink before Harry stopped her putting his hands on her hips and turning her away.

“Do I need to remind you whose kitchen this is?”

“Your kitchen?” Anna laughed as he started walking her out of the room.

“Correct. You go mark and I’ll be out soon.” Harry said pushing her lightly before going back to the dishes.

—

Anna sat on the floor a sticker sheet and a pile of papers next to her reading over one of the work sheets writing on it with a green pen. Harry entered and sat behind her on the couch.

“Why do you use a green pen?” He asked watching her work.

“Hmm?” Anna hummed before she stuck a “Good Work” sticker on the bottom of the page and picking up the next sheet.

“Your pen. It’s green. Why do you use a green pen?” Harry asked again.

“Oh. Red pen had a negative effect on children if they get something wrong. So I try and use more positive colours. I don’t like black because it blends too much and I like my notes to be seen by the parents.” Anna answered before marking off down the page and writing some comments at the end and sticking another sticker at the bottom.

“That’s… how did you know that?” Harry asked shaking his head.

Anna shrugged in response and continued to work her way through the pile.

“Do you mind if I put on the TV?” Harry asked after watching her work for a while.

“No go ahead. Sorry. I’m not much fun.” Anna said absentmindedly.

“It’s fine. I just like spending time with you. We don’t have to talk.” Harry mumbled as he started to flick through the channels.

So they sat in silence as Anna continued to work through the sheets and Harry happily sat behind her watching TV show after TV show.

—

“Done.” Anna finally sighed leaning back on Harry’s legs.

“Good job.” Harry said running a hand through her hair softly, Anna yawned at the contact leaning her head into his hand.

“You want a sticker?” Anna giggled looking back at him.

“What do I get a sticker for?” Harry asked excitedly.

“Hmm.” Anna hummed looking over the remaining stickers she had. “You can get a ‘Fantastic’” Anna pulled off the sticker and stuck it on his shirt, “for dinner.” Harry smiled down at the sparkly sticker. “Then you can get a ‘Well Done’ for sitting so patiently while I did my marking.” Anna stuck a sticker below the first smiling at his boyish smile as she placed it. “And then maybe an ‘Awesome’ just because.” Anna pulled the sticker from the sheet and stuck it on the end of Harry’s nose.

“Well I feel honored.” Harry laughed moving to pull the sticker from his nose.

“Don’t touch it!” Anna warned chuckling at him.

“It’s on my nose Anna.” Harry sighed laughing at her.

“Arguably your best feature.” Anna laughed as she slapped his hands away from his nose.

“Really? My nose? That’s my best feature?” Harry asked sarcastically.

“Some would say it’s awesome. It’s even got the sticker to prove it.” Anna laughed as Harry rolled his eyes.

“I would say this is.” Harry pulled the sticker off his nose and stuck it to his crotch.

“Oh my gosh.” Anna laughed shoving his knee.

“I’m just saying.” Harry laughed as she shook her head at him.

“You’re the worst. You know that?” Anna said as she continued to shake her head at him standing up from the floor and stretching out her body.

“Yeah, but you love me.” Harry sighed as he stood up and stretched out.

“Meh.” Anna shrugged smiling cheekily at him.

“Meh? MEH?” Harry held his hand over his heart in mock heartache.

“Well maybe a bit.” Anna laughed squealing as Harry scooped her up in his arms crushing her to his chest.

“A bit?” Harry asked as he held her tighter against him.

“I can’t breathe Harry.” Anna laughed trying to loosen his grip.

“Say you love me.” Harry held on tighter not letting her go.

“Never!” Anna squeaked from under his arms.

“Say it!” Harry warned as he poked her in her side making her squirm with laughter.

“Okay, okay!” Anna conceded. “You’re alright I guess.” She said as Harry let her go.

“I can live with alright.” Harry sighed before he kissed her on the top of her head. “I need to head home. Dinner again?” He asked as he picked up his jacket.

“Um.” Anna bit her lip thinking. She wanted to see Harry again, and tonight had been good, but Anna realized that they acted so much like a couple already, she couldn’t blame Niall for being worried.

“Come on Anna. Don’t block me out again.” Harry said sadly.

“I’m not.” Anna answered too quickly.

“You are. I don’t know why. Ever since… the… thing… You’ve been so distant. Don’t block me out like that.” Harry said stepping towards her. The atmosphere had changed and Anna took a step back. “What’s wrong? It’s like you’re afraid of me all of a sudden.”

“I’m not.” Anna denied, her thoughts jumbling too quickly.

“Anna, talk to me.” Harry said exasperated.

“It’s just…” Anna paused, she felt stupid saying this out loud.

“Tell me.” Harry pressed.

“Urgh. It’s just… since the funeral, since that week, I feel like things have changed between us. You were so good. So strong and I relied on you so much. I just feel like something’s changed. Like you don’t look at me the same way.” Anna sighed heavily, tears pricking behind her eyes. She was sick of crying. “Like I don’t look at you the same way.” Anna mumbled the last part.

“What’s changed? How do I look at you?” Harry asked his voice weaker than usual.

“I don’t know what’s changed. But please don’t tell me that you don’t feel it.” Anna groaned brushing her hair out of her face.

“You’ve been avoiding me Anna. How would I know if things have changed?” Harry said mimicking Anna’s actions and running a hand through his hair.

“You’re right. It’s on me. I’ve been avoiding you.” Anna said trying to halt the conversation.

“No don’t do that. I know what you’re doing Anna. You’re trying to stop the conversation before it gets anywhere.” Harry said immediately.

“What do you want me to say Harry. I say something’s changed; you say I’ve been avoiding you. Maybe it’s all in my head.” Anna replied angrily.

Harry sighed heavily and silence fell between them. Anna bit her bottom lip, a nervous habit she had.

“Please don’t bite your lip.” Harry said eventually, his eyes running over her face.

“Why not?” Anna asked quietly.

“Because it makes you look unbelievably sexy and what I am about to say extremely difficult.” Harry sighed before taking a step towards her. Anna was too stunned that Harry had called her sexy to move.

“I’ve been feeling this way for a long time Anna. Since I was with Kelly and probably even before that.” Harry began before Anna cut him off.

“No Harry. No don’t say anything. It’s ok. Nothing’s changed. We can go back to how it was. I’m sorry.”

“You’re doing that thing again. Let me get it out.” Harry held up his hand silencing her. “Anna.” He began again after taking a deep breath. “You are so beautiful inside and out. You know just what to say in every situation to make things ok. You’ve stuck by me when I’ve been an absolute tosser, especially to you. I’ve known for a long time. I love you.” Harry took a shaking breath. He couldn’t believe he just said that out loud. “I know that you are with Niall. I would never do anything to hurt that.” He sounded so sincere. “But I need you to know that I love you. It’s been killing me knowing that you don’t feel the same. But then. Something changed. At the funeral. Something changed, I know it and you know it.”

“Harry.” Anna’s voice cracked with the tears that were building in her chest.

“It’s ok. You’re with Niall, and I know that you love him. But I think that you know there is the slight possibility… that you love me too.” Silence once again settled between them as Anna avoided his eye contact and Harry studied her face.

“Anna?” Harry asked cautiously after a while.

Anna wiped her eye from the tear that was threatening to escape. “Why did you do that Harry? Why would you say that to me?”

“What? What do you mean?” Harry immediately went to comfort her, hurt when she moved away from him.

“I liked what we had. I loved our friendship. I loved everything that we were. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing it now? Haven’t I had enough? Haven’t I put up with enough?” Anna started to cry.

“Baby. I…” Harry was lost for words as Anna sunk down onto her knees and started to cry.

“Don’t call me baby. You do NOT get to call me baby.” Anna said aggressively. “I can’t handle this Harry. I don’t understand why you would want to ruin our friendship like that.”

“Anna. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I love you. I don’t want to ruin anything. I love you Anna.” Harry joined her on the ground and put his arm around her.

“Stop. Stop saying that.” Anna groaned.

“Saying what?”

“That you love me. You don’t Harry. You don’t love me.” Anna shook her head crying into her hands.

“But I do ba- Anna. I would do anything for you.” Harry said trying to comfort her but only making it worse.

“Harry I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t handle this.” Anna said looking up at him. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy with tears.

“Anna. Don’t.” Harry voice caught in his throat.

“I can’t Harry.” Anna cleared her throat. “I think you need to go.” Anna said shaking her hair out of her face and standing up.

“Anna.” Harry pleaded; this was not at all how he thought that the night would go.

Anna walked stoically to the front door and opened it, waiting for Harry.

“Anna. Please.” Harry said stopping before her while she avoided his gaze again.

“I’m sorry Harry.” She whispered. Harry gathered her into his arms no matter how much she didn’t hug him back he was going to memorize her warmth. He may not get to feel it again for a long time. Harry kissed her on the cheek and froze when she barely whispered, “I think I love you too. I’m sorry. I can’t.” before pulling back and closing the door behind her.

Harry heard her sob behind the door while he stood frozen in place.


	25. "I'm only hurting you"

Anna was pissed. She was angry. She was fuming. Two days after Harry had come over and confessed that he loved her he flew off to LA. He ran. He ran away. Yes she’d asked him to leave, she all but threw him out of the house, but she’d said the words she was so scared to say, the words she didn’t want to be saying to anyone but Niall. “I love you too.” But then he’d gone. He’d run away to LA. Worse, there were articles upon articles of him with women, entering a club, exiting a club, getting into cars, arms linked, head held closely together. Anna wasn’t jealous, she told herself constantly. She had no reason to be jealous. She was angry that he had changed their relationship and then ran. She was hurt. She had no idea what she was meant to do. Harry had been in LA for a week, the band was leaving on tour in one day. Niall was meant to spend a few days with her before they started up again, but after Theo got a bad case of croup and Niall decided to stick around and be with the family. Anna didn’t mind. What was she meant to say to him? ‘Oh I forgot to tell you, Harry confessed his love to me and I think that I might love him too.’? How extremely unfair to Niall. Anna huffed in anger as she passed the corner shop with Harry’s face and a mystery blonde woman plastered over all the windows. Harry didn’t love her. Why would he mess with her like that? Why would he do that?

—

“Harry come and dance!” Juliet called over the loud music moving her hips seductively. Harry raised the drink to his lips and quickly finished the rest of the liquid before stumbling onto the dance floor. People were going to take photos. He didn’t care. Let them take the photos. Let people think what they want. He was young and single. He could do what he wanted. He didn’t belong to anyone. Anna said she loved him, no that she “thought” that she loved him, she wasn’t sure. Then “I’m Sorry. I Can’t.” What the hell did that mean? Harry knew that she felt something for him. He was going to show her how sorry she was. He could get anyone. The alcohol was blurring his mind. He loved her. But she didn’t care about him. She loved Niall. Lucky fucker. What was the point of Harry caring about her if she was just going to run back to Niall every chance she got. He had no idea if she’d told Niall what had happened between them. Harry had been ignoring them both. He hadn’t heard from Anna since that night. Niall had messaged him a few times about Singapore, when he was landing, if he was going a few days early, but Harry didn’t reply. He didn’t want to see Niall. He didn’t want him know what he’d done. So Harry drank. Drinking and LA was easier than reality.  
Harry’s hands ran over the girls body, he thought her name was Julia or Juliet, he couldn’t remember, he didn’t care. She had the same colour hair as Anna, she was thinner, and her eyes were blue not green, but Harry didn’t care.

“You want to get out of here?” She giggled, her voice rough in his ear.

Harry nodded eagerly picking up her hand and leading her out of the club. He didn’t belong to anyone.

—

The pictures and the stories were everywhere Anna couldn’t avoid them. “Womanizer Styles Back Out”, “Harry’s New Squeeze”, “Harry Makes Some Midnight Memories”. Anna was sick of seeing the headlines, sick of seeing the pictures of Harry and some stranger making out in a car, outside a club, inside the club, anywhere and everywhere. Anna was sick of it. At least they’d be back on tour tomorrow and she wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.

—

-Hook in buddy- Harry’s head pounded as he looked at his phone and the message from Niall. He had no idea what he was talking about until he looked at the figure sleeping in the bed beside him. He had no idea where he was. Last night was a blur of drinks, skin, bodies, kissing, sweating. With dry eyes Harry glanced at the figure to the right of him. Her hair was splayed across the pillow and for a second Harry thought it was Anna, until he looked closer. Harry rubbed his tired, pounding eyes before carefully getting out of the bed. There were no guesses of what he’d done last night and he was disgusted with himself. His mother didn’t raise him like this. He slowly got dressed in the clothes from the night before trying not to wake the woman in the bed. Harry had no idea what her name was. Harry found a bathroom attached to the bedroom and washed his face. Small glimpses of the previous night were coming back to him slowly. He did remember calling the girl Anna several times and she corrected him but for the life of him couldn’t remember her name. Downing several glasses of water Harry carefully made his way out of her house and found himself somewhere in West Hollywood.

—

Anna couldn’t believe it; she was faced with Harry everywhere she went. Even school, which she thought was her safe haven, the older girls at the playground all spoke about their love for One Direction and how heart broken they were that Harry seemed to have a new girlfriend. If only they knew. Walking home his face was every where, turning on the television, he was on the news, looking at her phone there were pictures of him and her, him and lux, him and Lou, him and Niall. Why was he everywhere? Clearly he didn’t care about Anna like he’d said, so why did she need to be tormented by him?

“One Direction have started their worldwide stadium tour in Singapore today. All eyes were on Harry Styles who was seen leaving LA late this afternoon. The fellow band members were seen arriving yesterday before briefly arriving the stadium for a look before the concert that takes place tonight. One Direction fans have been waiting at the stadium for more than five hours today, hoping to see their idols. We go live to our correspondent…” Anna flicked off the television. There was nothing to watch and every news program was covering One Direction. It was like every time she tried to avoid the band the universe found a way to put it in front of her eyes again. Yawning, Anna gave up and went to bed. She would talk to Niall tomorrow to see how the concert went. She wouldn’t bring up Harry unless he said something.

—

“Harry! What the fuck was that?” Louis yelled as they finished the concert, their ears ringing.

“Don’t know what you mean.” Harry mumbled pulling out his in-ears.

“You were all over the place. You look drunk. You land three hours before the show.” Louis shouted. “What’s going on man?” He lowered his voice.

“Nothing.” Harry shrugged rubbing his head.

“You feeling ok?” Niall asked carefully. It was not one of their best performances; they were just out of sync.

“I’m fine Niall.” Harry snapped before storming out of the room.

“What was that?” Louis asked as the door swung shut behind Harry.

“No idea.” Niall shrugged look back at Louis.

—

“How did it go last night baby?” Anna asked as she walked to work.

“Pretty shit to be honest.” Niall replied sighing. He’d slept in, not too affected by jet lag but stressed about their second performance.

“Oh no, what happened?”

“I’m surprised you haven’t seen the reports.” Niall answered standing up and walking to his hotel window, looking out at the city.

“I’ve been avoiding the news.” Anna said. “Too depressing.”

“Right.” Niall lent his head against the cool glass.

“So tell me what happened.” Anna prompted as she walked in the school gates.

“We were just off.” Niall shook his head. “It was Harry I think. Something about him is off. He didn’t even arrive in the country until three hours before the show. He looked drunk honestly. He snapped at Louis and I when we tried talking to him. I don’t know what’s going on.”

Anna swallowed the lump in her chest. The urge to tell Niall about the dinner was overwhelming.

“Anna? You still there.” Niall asked into the silent phone.

“Yeah, yeah I’m here.” Anna’s voice cracked with her dry mouth.

“Something’s wrong. I can tell.”

“Damn you for knowing me so well.” Anna sighed as she unlocked her classroom door.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Niall asked carefully.

“You’re already stressed honey. I don’t want to make it worse.” Anna said sadly.

“Baby, you never make anything worse. If you don’t tell me now, I’m going to spend all day worrying and thinking that it’s something worse than it is. And you are going to spend all day making yourself sick about it.” Niall answered.

“Why do you know me so well?” Anna laughed.

“Because I love you. Now tell me what’s going on.”

Anna sighed heavily. “You know how Harry came over for dinner? I texted you about it.”

“This is about Harry?” Niall asked, tension in his voice.

“Yeah it’s about Harry.” Anna admitted before continuing. “Well we had a great dinner, everything was fine. I just was marking. It was pretty standard. Anyway, I’ve been feeling like something’s changed between us since… since the funeral.” Anna took a breath.

“Between us?” Niall asked.

“No, no, we’re great. So great.” Anna comforted hearing Niall release the breath he was holding. “So I said something to him about how I feel like something changed but I didn’t know what. And.” Anna trailed off. Did she really want to be telling Niall about this right now? Right when she had class starting and wouldn’t be able to talk to him properly about it?

“And?” Niall prompted, tension in his voice again.

“And he told me something and it’s made it… a bit awkward between us.” Anna huffed.

“What did he tell you?” Niall asked. “Anna.” He prompted again when she didn’t answer.

“That he had feelings for me.” Anna admitted sitting down at her desk and looking around the empty classroom. There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“Niall? You still with me?” Anna asked quietly. She knew she shouldn’t have said anything.

“What did you say?” He asked equally as quietly.

“Well I was surprised. I knew that something had changed but I didn’t know it was something like that.” Anna replied.

“Anna, please tell me what you said to him.”

“I…” Anna’s throat was clogged, how was she supposed to tell the man that she loved that she also loved his best friend.

“Do you love him?” Niall asked. She could hear the brokenness in his voice and her heart broke.

“Niall. I love you.” Anna’s voice was weak.

“That didn’t answer my question Anna.”

“I know. Niall I love you. I love you so much. More than anything. Know that. I need you to know that.” Anna said sincerely. If there was anything she knew for sure, it was that she loved Niall.

“Anna.” Niall pleaded.

“I do love him Niall… I think… I don’t know. But I told him that I love you. That I wouldn’t do anything. Then I threw him out. Not threw him out. But I made him leave. Niall I love you.” Anna started to tear up.

“You love him.” Niall repeated.

“No. I don’t know. No. Niall. All you need to trust is that I love you. I love you Niall.” Anna repeated. She was not expecting this conversation this morning.

“This happened almost a week ago Anna. How could you only be telling me this now?”

“Because it doesn’t mean anything to me Niall. You mean the world to me. Why is it important when I love you? I’m committed to you.” Anna’s eyes were set on the clock that was ticking closer to the time that the students would arrive.

“It matters because my best fucking friend told my bloody girlfriend that he’s in love with her, and she told him that she might fucking love him back.” Niall exploded.

“Niall.” Anna’s voice was weak as she watched the second hand tick slowly.

“Fuck Anna. What am I meant to do?” Niall’s voice was stern.

“I don’t know Niall.” Anna shook her head. “Look.” Anna sighed after a long silence passed between them. “Given Harry’s current actions he clearly didn’t mean it. It means nothing. I love you. I only want you Niall. You are the one that I love. But if… if this means that you can’t love me anymore… I… I understand. I just want you to be happy.” Tears brimmed Anna’s eyes.

“What are you saying?” Niall asked quickly.

“I’m saying. It’s up to you Niall. If you want to break up, I understand. I still love you. But you need to do what’s best for you.” Anna’s took a shuddering breath trying to stop the tears from spilling.

“Why would I want to break up with you?” Niall voice was soft and careful.

“Because… because I didn’t tell you about this and I should have. I’m a bad person. I’m sorry Niall.”

“Anna.” Niall sighed heavily. “I’m angry about this. But I love you too much to let you go.”

“What?” Anna’s voice trembled.

“I’m not giving you up because my best friend’s an idiot.” Niall replied.

“Niall. I love you so much.”

“I love you Anna.” His voice was much calmer.

“What are you going to do about Harry?” Anna asked quietly.

“I don’t know yet. I guess I need to talk to him.” Niall murmured as the bell rang. “That’s your bell. Do you need to go?”

“Yes. But I don’t want too. I’m so sorry Niall.” Anna wiped away one of the tears that had managed to fall.

“It’s okay baby.” Niall comforted. “Well, no it’s not. But I love you. I’ll talk to you when you finish work.”

“You’ll be performing.” Anna corrected.

“I’ll run off stage.”

Anna laughed in response. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Thank you for telling me.” Niall answered his voice sounded more relaxed, but still laced with tension.

“Sorry it took so long.” Anna muttered as some student started to enter the room.

“You told me. That’s what’s important.” Niall comforted her again.

“I love you.” Anna said one last time before ending the call and watching the last of her students enter the room.

—

Harry’s head was splintering when he woke up. He shouldn’t have drunk so much. This wasn’t him. He didn’t know who he was but he knew that this wasn’t it. Harry rolled over looking at his phone, there was a photo of him and Anna was his background. What was he doing? He needed to talk to Anna. Choosing her name from his list of favourites he called her rolling onto his back his arm across his eyes trying to block out the small amount of light peaking through his curtains. The phone rang out and eventually her voicemail picked up. “Hi, You’ve called Anna. I can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep and I’ll call you back. Also a number would be helpful. Thanks, bye.” Her sweet voice echoed through the phone. Sighing Harry hung up not leaving a message. What was he even going to say to her? What was he doing when he was in LA, what was he doing right now? There was a knock on his door and Harry slowly extracted himself from the sheets throwing on some pants and opening the door.

“Niall?” Harry asked surprised.

—

Niall had walked around the city after speaking with Anna. He was angry, hurt, confused; he felt empty. He loved Anna so much. He couldn’t let her go, he wouldn’t let her go. He wouldn’t let Harry come between him and Anna anymore, enough was enough. So he found himself standing outside Harry’s hotel room. He had no idea what he was going to say to him. Was he going to warn him to stay away from Anna, to stay away from him? Before he could over think it he knocked on his door. Hearing Harry stumble around the room and a few curse words Harry pulled open the door.

“Niall?” He sounded surprised. Harry’s eyes were bloodshot and his hair was a mess, stubble patches spread across his chin. He didn’t look good.

“Can I come in?” Niall asked quietly.

—

The children ran out of the classroom as the bell announced the first break of the day. Anna wiped down the math sums from the whiteboard as she heard the final scrape of chairs and desks and final pattering of feet run out the door. She picked up her phone surprised to see a few messages from Niall and a missed call from Harry. Harry. He’d called her. He didn’t leave a message. Anna decided to call Niall rather than answer his messages. Her phone bill would be large this month with him travelling so much but she couldn’t care less right now. As the phone rang she tapped her fingers on the table absentmindedly until he finally picked up.

“Anna?” his voice was breathless.

“Hi Niall. Thought I’d call rather than send you fifty messages. You alright?”

“Fine love, fine.” He replied still breathless.

“You don’t sound fine. What’s going on?”

“Just chatting,” Niall paused, “with Harry.”

“You’re talking to Harry?” Anna clarified her heart seizing up.

“Yeah…” Niall trailed off.

“Is… should I be worried?” Anna asked carefully.

“I just need to talk to him about what’s happening.” Niall answered.

“This is all my fault.” Anna said more to herself than Niall.

“No baby, it’s not.” Niall comforted.

“It is Niall. I’m coming between you and Harry. This is all my fault.” Anna gasped her throat tightening.

“Anna please.” Niall sighed heavily.

“Niall. I… this is all my fault. I can’t do this again. I love you. But I need you to do what is best for you, for the band. I won’t come between you and Harry. I won’t do it. I won’t be the problem anymore. Tell Harry not to call me anymore.” Anna said quickly before Niall cut her off.

“Harry called you?”

“He rang this morning. I missed the call. I haven’t spoken to him since dinner. That’s not the point Niall. The point is, that this is my fault. I’m only hurting you and I’m hurting Harry. I love you Niall. But you… I…. don’t call for a while okay?”

“What are you saying?” Anna heard his sharp intake of breath.

“I’m saying that you need to figure out what is best for you. Best for the band. I don’t think that I am it. I’m… I’m not good for you Niall.” Anna sighed as the realization of what she was saying started to settle in.

“What?” Niall gasped his voice shaking.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this to the band. I’m sorry Niall. I’m sorry but I can’t. Not again. We can’t. Goodbye Niall.” Anna hung up the phone taking a shuddering breath and walking quickly out of her room to the principals office. She couldn’t work today. She needed to go home. She needed to prepare for a life without the man that she loved. Without the man that she might love. Without the guilt of breaking two hearts instead of just her own.


	26. "Please don't do this."

“You called Anna?” Niall rounded on Harry. Harry sat on the bed his head in his hands. Anna had told Niall about the dinner. Of course she had. She loved Niall, she talked to Niall. What had Harry done? He’d lost her.

Harry looked up slowly, “This morning I did. She didn’t pick up.”

“So she said. You have no idea what you’ve done do you?” Niall’s loud voice echoed around the room. “You’ve finally got your way Harry. You broke her. You broke me. I hope you’re happy.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked slowly.

“That phone call!” Niall held up his phone shaking it at Harry. “I’m sorry Niall I can’t. I can’t come between you and Harry. I can’t break up the band. I’m sorry Niall but I can’t.”   
Niall quoted Anna as Harry’s jaw dropped.

“She… she…” Harry stuttered.

“Is this what you wanted Harry?” Niall’s jaw started to quiver. Anna was leaving him. It was all Harry’s fault. She assured him how much she loved his this morning. Did this all change because Harry called her this morning? How was Niall going to change her mind?

“No.” Harry said barely above a whisper. “No I never…”

“Harry I can’t with you right now. I just can’t.” Niall’s voice shook with anger as he stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

—

Anna sat at home staring at a spot on her carpet. What was she doing? What had her life become? Dating a superstar, falling for his best friend. She didn’t ask for that. She didn’t want that. As a child she had clear goals. Grow up, become a teacher, maybe date, maybe get married, be a good person. That was all she wanted. She didn’t want to be caught between two men, between a band, between a friendship. She ruined things. Just like she always did. She ruined people. It would be better for her to be alone. Be by herself where she couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. She would cut off contact with everyone, keep her head down at work, do what she loved, swearing off relationships, she would work. She was jolted out of her thoughts as he phone rang beside her. She’d already ignored four calls from Niall as well as any message he sent her. Lou and Lux’s faces flashed across the screen as the phone rang and she considered ignoring it as well, but she couldn’t. As much as she knew that she shouldn’t interact with anyone, she needed to talk to someone, she needed Lou.

“Anna, honey. What happened?”

—

Niall’s voice was flat, not off key, but not happy, not performing. He strummed the guitar slowly as Louis and Liam interacted on stage. This isn’t where he wanted to be. He loved his fans, he loved performing but all he could think about was Anna. He refused to look at Harry, talk to him, interact with him. This was Harry’s fault. It was Harry’s fault that Niall had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Niall. Earth to Niall.” Liam’s voice echoed around the stadium as fans cheered.

“Sorry bud, was just getting distracted by this AMAZING CROWD.” Niall yelled as the fans screamed. Liam and Louis were watching him carefully, concern written across their faces as Harry stood down stage blowing kisses and waving to fans.

“Little Things? Yeah?” Liam asked as Niall moved to his place and started to strum the chords.

“Let’s do this.” Niall agreed smiling at the people around him.

—

“Sweetheart. You aren’t thinking properly.” Lou tried to comfort Anna as she cried down the phone line.

“I am Lou. I’m ruining everything. Again. I can’t be this person. I’m not right. I’m not right for him. He’s better off with out me.”

“He loves you Anna. More than anyone. More than anything.” Lou tried again.

“I know Lou. I know he does. That’s just the point though. I’m the problem. I’m not good for him. I’m not good for the band. I’m nothing. Whatever the band needs, that is more important. Niall will find someone else. He will be happier with someone else. Someone that doesn’t break everything she touches.” Anna sobbed.

“Anna. I don’t know where all this is coming from. This isn’t right. Not for you. Not for Niall.” Lou argued.

“It is Lou. I should have done this long ago.” Anna took a heavy shuddering breath.

“You need to talk to him Anna.” Lou chastised.

“I can’t Lou.” Tears were starting to spill from Anna’s eyes. “What am I going to say?”

“You can explain to him what’s going on.”

“I don’t even know.” Anna shook her head trying to clear the tears.

“Then how can you make a decision like this? You’re being rash Anna. You aren’t thinking.”

“I only know that I am not good for him, for the band, for anyone Lou. I just…. I feel like I break everything I touch.” Anna sighed deeply, her chest felt heavy.

“Niall would beg to differ. He loves you Anna. He can’t just turn that off.” Lou argued.

“He can move on.” Anna defended.

“And if he doesn’t want to? Then what?” Lou was challenging her; Anna’s resolve was weakening.

“And how long before I come between the band again Lou? How long before Niall quits, or… or Harry. What then Lou?”

“That’s not really your choice now is it?”

“But I’m a factor. I’m a negative factor. I can’t… I can’t get past the thought that they will be better without me.” Anna sniffed.

“That’s because you aren’t thinking clearly. Maybe fly out to see us? Talk to Niall face to face. This can’t be the end.” Lou suggested hopefully.

“I can’t do that Lou…”

“What?” Lou interrupted, “You can fly out here or your can’t see Niall?”

There was a long pause between them. “Both Lou. Both.” Anna finally admitted.

“Just think about this Anna. Niall loves you. He doesn’t want this to be over. You know that.” Lou comforted softly.

“He might not want it…. But I think he needs it Lou. I can’t keep hurting him like this. I can’t keep hurting me. I just… I need some time.”

“What is time going to do?” Lou asked carefully.

“Bring me clarity I guess. Sort out what’s best for me, best for you, best for Niall, the band, everyone.”

“You don’t get to decide that just on your own Anna.” Lou replied harshly.

“I need to go. Tell him I’m sorry Lou.” Anna’s chest shuddered with the tears it was about to release.

“Tell him yourself Anna. Just talk to him.” Lou sighed heavily.

Anna hung up the phone as she felt herself crumbling. Picking up a pillow from beside her she cried heavily into it. She knew that this was the right thing, but why did it have to hurt so much?

—

“Thank you so much. We love you all.” Harry’s voice rang out through the stadium as he waved more and blew more kisses.

“You’ve been incredible.” Louis waved as they stood at the top of the runway.

“We’ve been…” Liam didn’t finish his sentence as the crowd screamed back him, ‘ONE DIRECTION’. Smiling and waving one last time the band left the stage.

—

“Niall. You okay man?” Liam asked pulling his arm to stop him walking away.

“I’m fine man. Just drop it.” Niall said his voice breaking.

“I can’t. Something’s up.” Liam persisted.

“Anna and I broke up.” Niall sighed heavily feeling the tears finally prick behind his eyes.

“What?” Liam was dumbfounded. “When? Why?”

“Today. Ask Harry.” Niall said shortly before pulling his arm free and leaving.

“Harry?” Liam asked spinning around and grabbing Harry.

“What?” He asked grumpily. His eyes were still bloodshot.

“What’s Niall talking about? What happened with him and Anna?”

“How would I know?” Harry shook his arm free.

“Niall seems to think you do.” Liam stopped him again.

“Fuck off.” Harry growled before storming away.

“You take Niall, I’ll take Harry?” Louis suggested clapping Liam on the shoulder.

“Is it worth it?” Liam asked sighing.

“You take Niall.” Louis repeated smiling grimly before following the direction Harry had left in.

—

“Niall, talk to me.” Liam chased him down the hallway.

 

“I’ve lost her Liam. I’ve lost her.” Niall stopped and leaned against the wall. Liam could see the tears in his eyes.

“What’s happening? What happened? Anna? She loves you.” Liam shook his head not understanding.

“She might… I… not here. Can we get out of here?” Niall was stuttering trying to hold himself together.

“Sure mate. Let’s go.” Liam put his arm around Niall and led him toward the exit.

—

Niall sat on his bed absentmindedly strumming a guitar while Liam paced around the room, unable to believe what Niall had told him.

“Harry told her he loves her?” He asked again in disbelief. Niall nodded sadly picking at the strings.

“And she… she told him that she loves him?” Liam confirmed.

“No, not exactly. She might love him” Niall paused still picking at the strings. “But she told him that she loves me. That… that she wants to be with me.” Niall has tears blurring his eyes.

“I don’t understand. Why did you break up? She loves you.” Liam asked rubbing his eyes.

“Because of Harry.” Niall sighed his fingers faltering on the strings. “She feels likes she’s coming between us and she… she doesn’t want to break up the band.”

Liam groaned.

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t change her mind.” Niall sighed wiping away a tear that as dropped onto the wood of the guitar.

“You can…” Liam said quietly.

“Not this time. She won’t answer my calls.” Niall shook his head as a few more tears dropped. “She thinks that this is for the best.”

“Maybe….” Liam sighed heavily pausing.

“Don’t you say ‘Maybe it is.’. None of this is for the best.” Niall snapped.

“OK. Ok.” Liam held up his hands in surrender. “What do you want me to do?”

“I just… I just need to be away from Harry. Just keep him away from me while I deal with this.” Niall said quietly putting down the guitar.

“Whatever I can do man.” Liam nodded.

“I’m just gonna go to bed. I need this day to be over.” Niall said running a hand through his hair and pulling on his roots.

“OK man. I’m sorry about this. I’m here for you.” Liam said rubbing the stubble on his chin. “Whatever you need.”

Niall nodded before Liam closed the door behind him. Niall was left alone with a phone full of pictures of the woman he desperately loved.

—

Anna woke up in the morning a headache clouding her vision. She couldn’t work today. She couldn’t get out of bed. Rolling over she picked up her phone ignoring the missed calls and messages from Liam, Louis, and Lou she called the principal and called in sick.

“You feel better Anna.”

“Thanks. I’ll be okay for tomorrow.” Anna hung up the phone and closed her eyes again. She needed to go and see her mother, see how she was doing and tell her about Anna’s broken relationship. Her phone rang again, seeing Lou’s face on the screen Anna muted the phone and covered her head with her blanket.

—

“I’m sorry Niall. She’s not answering any of my calls.” Lou sighed as she again reached Anna’s voicemail.

“Thanks for trying.” Niall sighed; he knew that she wasn’t going to pick up.

“Are you packed and ready to go?” Lou asked playing with the ends of her hair.

“Yeah. I guess. I’ll… I’ll see you at the airport. I’ll make my own way there.” Niall said his voice heavy.

“I don’t think you should be alone right now Niall.” Lou bit her bottom lip in concern. Her mothering tendencies coming out in full force.

“Honestly Lou, there’s only one person that I want to see right now but it’s the one person I can’t have. I really need to be alone.”

Lou nodded in sympathy before leaving the hotel room to collect Lux and their bags.

“Come on Anna. Just answer me…” Niall whispered to his phone as he once again was directed to her voicemail. Rubbing his temples he opened up a new message to her.

‘Anna. Please. We need to talk about this. I love you.’ Sending it he saw it collect among all the other unanswered messages. He felt more tears pricking behind his eyes as he collected his bags and exited the hotel room.

—

It had been two weeks since Anna had talked to Niall. That didn’t stop him from sending her a message every second day, but at least he had stopped calling. It had been three days since she last spoke to Lou. It had been one day since she’d cried herself to sleep. She knew this was for the best. She knew it.

—

Niall scrolled through the unanswered messages on his phone. He just needed to talk to her. He’d made Lou put the phone on speaker when she was speaking to Anna, just so that he could hear her voice. They were well into tour and starting to do a few more promotional spots. He wasn’t sleeping well, he couldn’t relax. Niall and Harry had started talking again. It was short, of little substance but it was something. Niall was more doing it to take the stress away from the rest of the band. People would automatically drop their conversation if Niall and Harry were in the same room together, but now at least nothing froze around them. Now they could smile at each other, say hi. They interacted on stage but the fans knew something was wrong. Daily Niall’s phone would blow up with notifications from fans wondering if he was ok, wondering where the girl he was seen with was, wondering what was happening between him and Harry. Niall had no idea how to get Anna back, let alone get her to speak to him. So he went another day pretending everything was ok, that he would be alright, pretending that he still meant something to Anna.

—

Anna stood in front of the class, her mind blank. She had no idea what she was meant to be talking about. She was sure that she’d just seen Niall walk past her classroom. But that was impossible. He couldn’t be here.

“Miss?” Isabella asked timidly raising her hand.

“Hmm?” Anna focused on the doe eyed child in front of her.

“Miss… you… what are you doing?” Isabella asked lowering her hand.

“Hmm?” Anna looked around the room as if just remembering where she was. “Sorry. I thought that I saw something.”

Immediately every child’s head turned to the back of the room to see what she was looking at.

“It was nothing.” Anna called their attention back to the front of the room. “Anyway. Syllables. Best clapped out, like I was saying.” Anna continued on with the lesson, helping children sound out words, but she couldn’t help her eyes lingering over the window where she was convinced she’d seen blonde hair and blue eyes watching her carefully, and with it, she felt her heart splintering some more.

—

Anna answered her phone and unknown number flashing up on her screen.

“Hello this is Anna?”

“Anna love. How are you?” Maura’s voice rang through the phone and Anna immediately wanted to vomit.

“Maura. I’m well. How are you?” Anna replied suppressing the panic rising in her stomach.

“Fine, love, fine.” Maura answered and there was silence on the phone.

“What… erm. What can I do for you?” Anna finally asked.

“Well it’s Niall love. Something’s off.”

“Oh?” Anna asked her voice off pitch.

“Just wondering if you can give me an update on how he’s doing. Mother’s worry and I am worrying.” Maura laughed. “I’m sure it’s nothing but if you could reassure me, I would appreciate it.”

“Oh Maura. I…erm. I don’t know how to say this.” Anna’s voice stuck in her throat nerves bouncing in her stomach. “Niall and I… we are… what I mean to say is… Niall and I, we aren’t together anymore.” It was one of the first times Anna had said it out loud and it killed her, every word.

“You’re… You aren’t together?” Maura asked surprised.

“No. I’m sorry.” Anna shook her head and blinking away from tears.

“Oh, love. I’m so sorry. When? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“No, no it’s fine. Almost a month ago now.” Anna couldn’t believe it had almost been a month.

“A month. Oh honey. I am so sorry. I’ll… erm. I’ll call Niall shall I?” Maura seemed speechless.

“Uh yes. If you like.” Anna mumbled.

“I’m sorry love. You call me if you need anything. Anything at all.” Maura said softly.

“Thank you Maura. I appreciate it.” Anna replied quietly.

“Goodbye Anna.”

“Goodbye Maura.” Anna hung up the phone her hands shaking. Why hadn’t Niall told his parents? Opening up the message that she had received from Niall in the morning she typed the first message she had since they day they’d broken up.

“Maura just rang. Will be calling you soon. Please tell your family. Thanks.” Anna stared at the message for a long time before she pressed send. So much of what she wanted to say was not in the message. ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘It’s for the best’, ‘I want you to be happy’. Everything she couldn’t say.

—

Niall’s jaw dropped as he saw a message with Anna’s name attached to it. She’d finally responded. With his heart in his throat he opened the message. ‘Maura just rang. Will be calling you soon. Please tell your family. Thanks.’ His mother called her. ‘Please tell your family’, what was he meant to tell his family? What was he meant to tell his mother? He automatically started to dial Anna’s number so that he could talk it through with her, like he always would in a situation where he didn’t know what to do, but he stopped himself. She wouldn’t answer. Instead he typed out and sent a message. “What am I meant to say?”

—

Anna sat staring at her phone. ‘What am I meant to say?’. She didn’t know. That they were over? They weren’t together? That he was happier without her? Any of those options.

“The truth Niall. We aren’t together. I was breaking up the band. That you are better off without me. That you are moving on.” Anna’s breath shuddered with the tears in her chest as she sent her reply.

—

Niall couldn’t believe that she replied to him. The first time they were actually talking properly in a little over two weeks. He wanted to call her, hear her voice, tell her how much   
he loved her. Niall looked up as Harry entered the room, Lou following him.

“You okay Niall?” Lou laughed lightly as she saw him, “Look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Anna.” Niall cleared his throat. “Anna messaged me.”

“She what?” Lou ran over to sit next to him, as Harry looked up startled.

“Me mam rang her. She told her we aren’t together. So she messaged me.” Niall looked back at his phone.

Lou sat silent studying Niall as Harry got a bottle of water from the fridge in the corner of the room.

“Are you going to reply?” Lou asked quietly.

“Yeah.” Niall nodded and looked back down at his phone. “None of that is the truth Anna. I can’t lie to her.” Niall pressed send and sat back on the couch as he phone buzzed back almost immediately.

—

That was supposed to be the truth though! He was supposed to be happier. Anna was breaking up the band. No matter how she looked at it that’s all she could see. “You tell her what you want Niall. We aren’t together.” Anna looked at the message wishing it wasn’t true, wishing that she didn’t hurt so much, wishing that she could see it a different way, before she pressed send.

—

Lou looked at the message, back to Niall, back to the message.

“I don’t know what I am meant to say anymore Lou. She won’t talk to me. I can’t change her mind.”

Harry sat on the couch opposite them watching them talk, sadness and anger coursing through his veins. He needed to speak to Anna, he wanted to. He’d lost two best friends because he couldn’t keep himself in check. Because he was an idiot. Niall said that Anna didn’t want to talk to either of them so he’d kept his distance; he promised Niall he wouldn’t contact her and he’d done just that. But now, now Anna was contacting Niall. Did that mean that Harry could finally reach out to her? He knew that she would be hurting, Harry just wanted her to not hurt any more. If that meant that she needed to be with Niall then Harry would be happy with that. As long as she was happy, he was happy. He could be her friend and love her from the sidelines. Running his hands through his hair Harry stood up and left the room in a rush. He couldn’t be around Niall, around Lou, around people that had contact to Anna when he was so closed off from her.

—

Harry wandered aimlessly around the back of the stadium. Why did he have to ruin everything? Everything had changed now. He was still desperately in love with Anna, he just wanted to see her happy and he was so convinced that he could do that. But then Niall. Why couldn’t Harry go back in time and make a move on her when he had the chance? When he first realized that he might be attracted to her. He remembered the first day Lou had introduced her. Anna had been holding Lux at the time. She was shy, didn’t say much, just listened to Lou talk to Harry. He’d tried asking her questions but she insisted that she wasn’t that interesting. She was just studying, working at a childcare center. Nothing interesting, but it was everything to Harry. He wanted to know her because Lou knew her, because Lux clearly loved her. He didn’t remember what she was wearing, or the way her hair was done, what make up she was wearing, just that her voice was sweet and kind whenever she spoke to Lux and her laugh made you feel like you were saying the funniest thing she’d ever heard no matter how silly. She didn’t stick around long saying goodbye to Lux and Lou and then Harry, giving him a small smile and a quick awkward wave with her hand before she left.

—

He remembered thinking that Anna didn’t like them very much because she wouldn’t stick around whenever the boys came into the room and Lou trying to convince him otherwise. He remembered going to Lux’s birthday party and she was there, running around with all the children, ignoring the adults. He remembered Lux’s face lighting up when she saw Anna come into the room. None of the other lads were at the party and it was the first time he was actually able to talk to her. She didn’t run away and she seemed to really engage him in conversation for the first time. It was one of the times that Harry realized that he might like her. But he convinced himself that it was ridiculous, it was just the first time that she’d not run away from talking to him, that she’d paid him attention and he was just surprised by that.

—

The next time Harry saw her was at the studio and she seemed to shut down again, she smiled brightly at him, but didn’t talk much and spent a lot of her time playing with Lux. Harry tried to engage her in conversation like at the party but she only responded when she needed to, remained polite, that was it. It was outside of the building when she was watching Lux run around that he noticed she was much more animated, talking with Louis and Liam and laughing with them. It was the next time that Harry thought that he might like her and when he saw her rest her hand on Liam’s bicep when she was laughing did he feel and unwelcome feeling in his stomach. Something that he only realized now was jealousy. Back then he felt rejected, that she wouldn’t talk to him but would happily talk with his band mates.

Finally Lou convinced her to start coming around more, talk with them more. She still hid behind Lux a bit, and Harry could only really get her to talk if he was playing with Lux as well. He’d voiced to Lou several times that he didn’t think that Anna liked them. She reassured him that she was just shy.

—

One of the first nights that Lou convinced Anna to come out and drink with them was the time that Harry got to see Anna completely relaxed. She danced, she laughed, she sung at the top of her lungs and Harry finally agreed that he liked her… liked her more than he should. He remembered what she was wearing that night. A black dress with cut outs at the back showing off her shoulder blades. She stood out from all the other women at the club, Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Lou noticed and nudged him. They’d danced together, laughed together and sung loudly until their throats were raw. Harry wanted to pull her in and kiss her, kiss her until he forgot his own name, but he didn’t, he hugged her, he kissed her cheek and left it at that. He didn’t want to ruin things. He didn’t want to come on too strong.

—

Harry smiled at the memories as he looked at some of the photo’s on them on his phone. They were so happy, why did he have to ruin everything? Harry sighed heavily opening a new message on his phone. They’d been through so much, this was stupid, this silence was stupid. “We miss you Anna. I’m sorry for messing things up with you and Niall. I lost two friends and I’m sorry. I do still love you and I can’t be sorry for that. I hope you come back to us soon. x” Harry read over the message four times before pressing send. He didn’t expect a reply but it was nice to get it off his chest. He looked at the photo from Lux’s third birthday of Anna, Lux and him. They were all happy, Lux between them, both kissing one of her cheeks. It was one of his favorite photo’s of them. He just wanted her back in his life.

—

‘I do still love you and I can’t be sorry for that.’ Anna couldn’t believe was she was reading. Nothing had changed. Nothing was better. Maybe she should just call Niall. Would he accept her apology? He said that he still loved her, but she’d put him through so much. Regretting it as soon as she did it, she pressed Niall’s contact information and the phone started to ring.

—

“Anna?” Niall was startled, breathless when he picked up the phone.

“Hey.” Anna was unsure. She didn’t know why she was calling Niall.

“Um… How are you?” Niall asked cautiously. The awkwardness hung over the two of them, thick and heavy until Anna started laughing. Really laughing; harder than she had in weeks. Tears were pouring from her eyes as she continued to laugh.

“What… are you ok?” Niall asked concerned, he couldn’t help the grin that appeared on his face at the sound of her voice.

“Oh.” Anna sighed as she worked to calm herself down. “Am I ok? There’s a question.” She pondered aloud.

“Is there an answer?” Niall asked, so unsure of how this conversation would progress.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know Niall.” Anna sighed again, but he could hear the sadness behind it this time. “How are you?” She asked suddenly.

“Do you really want the answer to that?” Niall shook his head as he answered. He wasn’t even sure what the truth was.

“Of course I do.” Anna answered immediately.

“Well.” Niall sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I miss you. I can’t sleep properly. We haven’t spoken properly and then I get a message confirming that you dumped me. I… I’m not good Anna.” He finished with a small groan. “I just miss you. And I don’t … I’m confused. I don’t know what happened between us. I don’t know why you are calling me now and I don’t know how long we are going to talk for before you shut me out again. I just don’t… I feel like… I’m being left out here, y’know. There’s all this stuff that you are going through and you just… you aren’t telling me about it and… we were meant to be a team.” Niall blurted out everything that was running through his head while Anna stayed silent on the phone.

“You still there?” He asked after a long pause.

“I’m still here.” Anna’s voice was soft.

“That’s how I’m feeling.” Niall said quietly. If felt odd for him to say it all out loud, and to be able to say it to Anna.

“I’m sorry Niall.” Anna barely whispered.

“I don’t need you to be sorry baby. I just need you to tell me what’s going on.” Niall answered.

“I… I…” Anna stuttered as she thought. Taking a deep breath she started again.

“I really feel that I am not right for you Niall. I feel like I am coming between you and Harry and I know that you are immediately going to deny that. But that’s the way that I feel. It’s not just that… it’s… it’s that I get left here when you go touring and that hurts me, and I don’t blame you for that. It’s just… I would never want to ask you for to give that up for me. Sometimes I feel like that’s where you were heading. That it was me or the band and I was so scared that you would choose me. Then… and I know…. You would hate me for it. I know it’s your choice and I know that you say that it wouldn’t come to it, but it was and I… I couldn’t stand in your way any more. Niall. I love you. I do. And it’s because I love you that… that I can’t be with you, because all I do is bring you pain, I bring Harry pain. I…”

“You made all these choices without talking to me though. You made them all without me. You took away my choices.” Niall argued.

“And if you had to choose between me and the band what would you say?” Anna challenged.

“It would never have come to that. It would never come to that.” Niall replied indignantly.

“You should never have to make that choice Niall. The solution that I saw was taking me out of the equation. You could be happier that way.” Anna replied.

“You took away my choice Anna.” Niall said angrily.

“And what? Have you hate me instead?” Anna defended.

“Why do you think I would hate you? I could never hate you Anna.”

“I put you through too much Niall. You have so much on your plate already. The last thing you need is to be thinking about me.” Anna shook her head as she spoke.

“That’s MY choice Anna. You really think that you’re not on my mind now? Every minute? Every hour?” Niall demanded.

“And you’re not on my mind?” Anna asked annoyed.

“If we are both thinking about each other, then why can’t we be together?” Niall pleaded.

“Because we are never actually together Niall.” Anna replied exasperated.

“That wasn’t a problem before.” Niall denied.

“It was always a problem Niall. You just didn’t see it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What good would that have done? What were you going to do? Fly home to comfort your lonely girlfriend? Yeah, great solution Niall.” Anna replied sarcastically.

“If you’d asked. Of course I would have.”

“I should never have to ask. I don’t want to be in that position Niall. I don’t want to feel like it’s either the band or me. That’s how I feel. I feel like it’s one or the other. So I am doing what I know you can’t Niall. I’m breaking it off now before it hurts both of us too much.” Anna could feel the sadness weighing on her chest again.

“I don’t want this Anna. This is hurting me now.” Niall’s voice was soft.

“I know. But you… you will be better without me. So much better. You need someone that can be with you all the time. That can support you all the time. That’s not me Niall. I’m not the right one for you.” Anna’s breathing was coming heavier as she worked to keep the tears at bay.

“I don’t want this Anna. I want you. I don’t want someone else.” Niall’s voice cracked with emotion.

“I’m sorry Niall. This… this is best. One day you’ll see that. I love you. I’m sorry.” Anna sniffed and tried to clear the tears that were beginning to cloud her vision.

“I love you Anna. Please don’t do this.” Niall begged.

“It’s…. it’s already done.”

It was the last thing Anna said before the dial tone sounded and Niall’s heart fractured.


	27. Time heals all wounds?

Two months had passed when Niall tried to call Anna’s phone, he just wanted to say hi, say that he was sorry, say that it was ok, they were ok, that he would always love her and when she was ready he would be there with open arms ready to love her again. But the phone line was disconnected. She’d finally done it. She changed her number. He couldn’t believe that it was over. That it was completely over. Niall ran to Lou and told her about the unanswered call. Lou had no idea what had happened and got the same message when she tried to call her. They had two weeks off after tonight’s show. He was going to try and see her, try to tell her that it was ok. Lou called Anna’s mother as Niall studied her confused.

Finally Lou hung up and sighed. “She’s lost her phone Niall, her mum is sending me her number.” Lou’s phone beeped with an incoming message and she looked at the number for a while, trying to decide if it was best to putting off a phone call until Niall wasn’t near her. Niall answered that question quickly.

“What are you doing? Call it!” Niall demanded. Sighing Lou dialed the number.

“Anna?” Lou’s voice was quiet as Anna picked up.

There was a brief pause as Niall listened to one half of the conversation.

“Babe. You didn’t tell me.” Another long pause, “You know you can’t trust your mother with that.” Lou laughed lightly. “What’s happened?” Niall watched Lou intently as tears seemed to fill her eyes but then vanish with a laugh. “You know I don’t check me emails.” Lou laughed again.

“Loud speaker!” Niall mouthed to Lou and she shook her head frowning at him.

“So there’ll be a lot to catch up on then.” Lou laughed. “I bet.”

Niall knuckled his eyes in frustration.

“Yeah she’s fine. Misses you.”

Niall sighed. Of course she would be asking about Lux. It was killing him wondering what had happened.

“He’s uhh…” Lou paused sighing. “He’s right next to me actually.”

Niall looked up in hope. Lou laughed loudly surprising him.

“You sure?” Lou looked up raising an eyebrow. “Okay.” She smiled before holding the phone out to Niall. “She wants to talk to you.”

Niall choked on his breath. Two months of silence and Lou was handing her over to him, smiling.

“Anna?” Niall breathed.

“Hi Niall.” Anna’s voice like a breath a fresh air.

“Anna.” Niall sighed.

“How are you?” She asked timidly, the line slightly crackled.

“How… how am I?” Niall asked biting his lip. What was he going to say to her? “I miss you. I’m ok. But I miss you.”

There was a long pause on the phone. “I’m sorry Niall. I’m sorry it had to be like this.”

“Are you though? We could have worked this out. We can still work this out.” Niall replied quickly.

“Of course I am Niall. It’s better this way. I’m sorry but it is. You deserve so much more. So much more than what I can give you. I’m sorry for the way I handled it. But this is the way it needs to be.” Anna said, her voice still brought him relief but the pain of not having her there was still present.

“I want you Anna.” Niall said sadly.

“And I want you to be happy.” Anna answered.

Niall sniffed, “Anna.”

“I do Niall. You can move on without me. It’s ok. I… I still love you. But I need you to be happy.”

“If you still love me, and I love you. It doesn’t… you don’t. We can work it out.” Niall huffed.

“Maybe. But not right now Niall. Right now, you need to focus on you and I need to focus on me.” Anna sighed heavily.

Niall was speechless. “What happened?” He finally choked out.

“I ran away.” Anna answered simply.

“That’s it? You ran away?” Niall shook his head.

“I don’t know what else you want me to say Niall.” Anna sighed. “I was stupid. I didn’t handle things properly. But I’m doing what I think is best.”

“Best for who?” Niall argued.

“Best for you Niall.” Anna snapped back. “I’m sorry. Maybe one day. But right now. This is what is best for you.”

“You can’t decide what is best for me Anna. You don’t get to choose that. I get to choose what is best for me. I choose you.”

“Don’t do this Niall. Please.” Anna said sadly.

“Do what Anna? Ask for the truth. Tell you the truth.” Niall replied angrily. “I love you damn it. Why can’t you be my happiness?”

“Because Niall. I ruin things. I wreck things and I nearly destroyed you and Harry. I won’t be responsible for that. I’m sorry for the way this turned out. But it is what is best. Goodbye Niall.”

“No Anna, don’t.” Niall said before the dial tone sounded through the phone. Niall looked up to see Lou studying him carefully.

“Didn’t go the way you planned?” She asked quietly.

“I didn’t plan anything, so it went exactly the way I planned I guess.” Niall shrugged handing the phone back to her.

“I apparently have a lot of emails to catch up on.” Lou hummed looking at her phone.

“Yeah.” Niall agreed absentmindedly as he wandered out of the room. She had run from him, convinced that she wasn’t right for him.

—

Anna sat on the tube on her way to the school scrolling through her phone. She’d finally spoken to Niall. It hadn’t gone the way that she wanted, but in what universe was that going to happen? She wanted him to be happy. This was the way to do it. She knew that they’d had a show that night and hoped that the conversation hadn’t ruined his performance. She really did want him to be happy. She stopped scrolling through the news on her phone as she saw a story about their performance. As much as she didn’t want to, she still kept up with their performances, watching bits of them when she could. She still cared about them, she still loved Niall and she wasn’t going to stop watching them from a distance.

“One Direction’s Niall Horan and Harry Styles Dedicate Song to Lost Love.” Anna’s eyes widened at the headline. Opening the article she began to read.

“One Direction had their final show in Argentina tonight before a two week break, resuming their Worldwide Tour in Berlin. All eyes were on Harry Styles and Niall Horan tonight as they dedicated their Number One song “Little Things” to “the lost loves of their life”. Both performers seemed to struggle through the performance, but were admittedly more interactive with each other than they have been on the entire tour thus far, further fuelling the rumors of a relationship breakdown between Styles and Horan earlier this year. Is this ‘lost love’ the same woman? Did she come between the boys? Women around the world are swooning over the emotional performance, no doubt willing to repair the broken hearts of Styles and Horan.

In further speculation of the relationship breakdown between Horan and Styles, pictures have emerged of a mystery woman with each Harry and Niall on separation occasions. These images show the mystery woman as quite friendly with each other the singers, and seemingly sharing a quick kiss with Horan. The mystery woman has been seen with Horan at various locations before their tour wrapped up before Christmas last year, but has since been absent in the New Year. Mystery Woman and Lost Loves of One Direction? We can’t help but wonder why someone would give up two of the most eligible bachelors in the U.K. like Styles and Horan?”

Anna scrolled through the pictures, some from the day that Anna received the news about her Grandmother with Harry, and others from the weeks after where she and Niall had spent some time in town together. It seemed like so long ago now. She was a different person. She was happy… happy was the wrong word. Satisfied? Now it was confirmed in writing, she had torn the boys apart, torn apart the band. She was right to leave. Anna closed the article after studying the pictures for a long time. There were even a few photos from when Anna had been on tour with them for three weeks. Old photos, but they still brought a smile to her face with the memories.

—

“Excuse me. May I have this seat?” A man interrupted Anna’s thoughts and she jumped slightly, smiling at him and then nodding. He smiled in response and sat down. Anna opened up the article one last time to look at the photos of her and Niall. They looked so happy together. There was even a photo of her and Harry holding hands across the breakfast table. That was the day Anna had told Harry about Kelly. Harry was looking at Anna with so much love in his eyes, how had she never seen it before? Maybe she did. Maybe she chose to ignore it.

“She looks a lot like you.” The man beside her said, looking between his paper and Anna. Anna looked up and saw a large photo of her and Niall and a photo of her and Harry in the paper he was reading. Anna hummed slightly and smiled shrugging it off.

“Looks a lot like you.” The man repeated staring intently at the photo. He shook his head turning the page and leaning down to her. “You’re prettier.”

Anna smiled in response and stood up quickly. Her stop was two more stations away but she really didn’t want to sit next to him anymore. She avoided his eye contact until she could finally escape the tube.

—

“I’m so glad we are talking again.” Lou yawned into the phone.

“We were never not talking.” Anna replied organizing some of the papers on her desk.

“Ok. Whatever you need to help you sleep at night.” Lou shrugged.

“I just needed a break.” Anna sighed.

“A break, doesn’t mean you run away, lose your phone and don’t contact me.” Lou scoffed.

“I know.” Anna sighed again.

“You could have told me.” Lou grumbled.

“I emailed you.”

“That’s a cop out and you know it.” Lou said angrily.

“Look. What was I meant to do Lou? You work with Niall and Harry. I didn’t want to make things worse than I already did.” Anna defended.

“Make things worse? Make things… Honestly Anna. You ran away. You ran away from Niall and you broke his heart. You ran away from Harry and you broke his heart. You ran away from me and Lux and you broke both our hearts.” Lou answered, getting more frustrated by the second.

“I… Lou. I…” Anna was speechless. “There was no way for me to leave without someone getting hurt. It was better for me to get out now before anything really bad happened.”

“Anything really bad happened? Anna! What was going to happen? You and Niall were happy. You and Harry were friends. Me? What was going to happen?” Lou yelled down the phone.

“Harry told me he loved me. I thought I might love him back. I told Niall. I tore the band apart. That’s what happened. I made a mess of everything.” Anna yelled back in anger.

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Lou asked after a while.

“What was I meant to say Lou? I put myself in that situation and I had to take myself out.” Anna sighed.

“You could have told me. I could have helped.” Lou’s voice was soft.

“And done what Lou? Yelled at Harry? Yelled at Niall? Yelled at me? I ruin things Lou. So I ran. I didn’t know what else to do.” Anna sniffed.

“Are you happy?” Lou asked.

Anna laughed in response. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

“Truthfully would help.” Anna could hear the smile in Lou’s voice.

“I don’t know.”

“Look. I just want you to be happy. But… you stuffed up Anna.” Lou exhaled heavily.

“I know Lou. I’m sorry.” Anna shook her head. This is why she should have stayed away from the band in the first place.

“You know I love you.” Lou replied in sympathy.

“I love you too.” Anna smiled, she missed Lou and Lux more than anything. “And Lou?”

“Yes love?”

“I really am sorry.”

—

“You are in love with Anna?” Lou jabbed Harry’s chest with each word.

“Who told you that?” Harry asked rubbing the spot that she had poked him.

“Does it matter? What is wrong with you?” Lou crossed her arms across her chest.

“Doesn’t matter does it? She left.” Harry shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with her?” Lou answered meeting his firm stare.

“What good what it have done Lou?” Harry shrugged running his hands through his hair.

“She might not have left both you and Niall broken hearted.” Lou yelled wanting to shake him.

“It wouldn’t change anything Lou. She’s in love with Niall. She would always go to Niall.” Harry argued his voice rough.

“You know she thinks that she was breaking up the band? Breaking up you and Niall. You know she blames herself for everything?” Lou shook her head in disbelief.

“It’s not her fault.” Harry scratched his chin.

“Better yet, have you seen the latest news story about your performance last night?” Lou asked bitterly.

“No, why?” Harry’s voice softened.

“Have a read Harry.” Lou handed him a newspaper and left.

—

Three months. Anna had done three months avoiding the entire band. She’d spoken to Lou regularly, sometimes even Lottie, but she had avoided the boys. She tried to stop looking at the news articles of them, tried to stop following their tour updates but she couldn’t. She needed to stop, but there was something that was holding her back, or rather, two things holding her back. Harry and Niall. After three months she still hadn’t sorted out how she felt, she was still just as clueless. Niall still gave her butterflies, every time she saw a photo of him, his blue eyes twinkling with his smile. But then Harry, the small dimple on the side of his cheek, green eyes glowing, always looking like he had a secret that only you and he knew. Anna could only hope that the longer she stayed away from them, the easier it would be for her to deal with her feelings. Lou had told her several times that life doesn’t work like that, but Anna continued to hope that she would be the exception.

—

Three months. Niall hadn’t spoken to her properly in three whole months. He couldn’t sleep, he wasn’t eating properly, his fingers wouldn’t play the guitar like he wanted to, he wasn’t coping. Harry and Niall were talking, they’d seemed to move on from their heartache with each other, but that didn’t stop the burn in his chest when he thought about Anna. He continued to study the photos on his phone, every crinkle around Anna’s eyes when she laughed, the curve of her lips, the blush on her cheeks, the photos would never do her justice but they were all Niall had left of her. Slowly he walked to the meeting room that he had been summoned to. He had no idea what the meeting was for, none of the other boys had been invited, just Niall. Management had to know what was happening, he’d been so off. He tried to be alive for the performances, but he knew that it wasn’t him, he hadn’t been himself for a long time. Opening the door he was surprised to see one of the PR reps sitting at the table smiling warmly at him. Taking a deep breath he slowly shut the door behind him.

—

Three, almost four months since Harry had last spoken to Anna. He tried to distract himself with other women but it did nothing for him, just like when he was dating Kelly. He convinced himself that he was ok, when instead he felt like he was drowning. He missed Anna, he missed her so much, not just because he was so sure that he was in love with her, but he missed her friendship, he missed her laughter, her wisdom; he missed Anna. He’d had a conversation with management and the PR firm and they’d both said the same thing, “You need to get over this.” And he knew that they would tell Niall the exact same thing. They’d encouraged him to go out, meet people, meet someone knew, get photos, take photos, be in photos, photos, photos, photos. Harry had nodded, agreed, sighed, shrugged; he knew it wasn’t any use fighting them on it. Niall might put up more of a fight about it, but Harry was still expected to go to a club tonight, meet up with a model, dance with her, photos, photos and more photos. Sighing and closing the photo of Anna, Lux and him on his phone, he picked up a jacket and left the hotel room.

—

Niall ran his hand over his face as the taxi pulled up in front of the club, the Management Teams message still ringing loudly in his ears, “Get out there, put on a smile, take some photos and move on.” Smiling Niall waved at the mountains of photographers that had been “anonymously” tipped off to his whereabouts. He kept his head down as he entered the club and made he way immediately to the bar. If he had to be out, if he had to have photos taken the least he could do was get plastered.

“Pint.” He mumbled to the bar tender that was looking at him eagerly.

“Of what?”

Niall looked up to the pretty blonde that was staring at him. “Doesn’t matter does it?” Niall replied under his breath. She looked at him curiously. “Beer, doesn’t matter. Just a drink.” Niall said louder meeting her gaze. She nodded still smiling at him before picking up a glass and starting to pour the drink. Niall pulled out some bills from his pocket and left them on the counter as she handed him his drink, mumbling thanks to her. Turning and looking at the dance floor full of people, the music thumping through his chest, there was going to be a woman here, a woman that the people that managed the band had set up. She would talk to him, they would have photos, they would start rumors and he would look happy. That’s what tonight was. He was meant to look happy. He took a long gulp of the bitter liquid, hoping that it would make tonight less painful than it already was. His mind was still on Anna. What was she doing right now? Was she thinking of him? Did she miss him? Had she moved on?

“Niall.” A voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Looking up he saw a stunning brunette standing in front of him.

“That’d be me.” Niall replied, he hated this whole idea but that wouldn’t stop him from being a gentleman.

“Octavia.” She held out her hand and he shook it lightly smiling at her. It was dark in the club and he couldn’t tell properly what colour eyes she had, but Niall knew they were not the shade of green that he was searching for. She wasn’t Anna. She was gorgeous, there was no denying that, her body was what men drooled over and woman envied, her make up to perfection, her dress hugging every curve, but she wasn’t Anna. Octavia moved next to Niall and leaned against the bar that he had his back too.

“Can I get you a drink?” Niall asked turning his body to her.

“Whatever you think.” Octavia smiled. Pearly white teeth glowed in the dark of the room. Turning back to bar Niall indicated to a bar staff. The blonde that served him previously bounded over to him despite having a line of patrons eagerly waiting her service.

“I’ll have a….” Niall realized he had no idea what to order her. If he was with Anna, it would be another pint, or a gin and tonic, sometimes even just a shot.

“Sex on the beach.” Octavia interrupted the silence.

‘Sex on the beach’ Niall spun the sentence over in his head. Anna would never have ordered that. She would have blushed at the name and then laughed at how ridiculous it sounded. The day that Lou had ordered a cock-sucking-cowboy Anna had nearly fallen off her chair with laughter. Niall could still remember the flush of her cheeks as she laughed. He was snapped out of his thoughts as he felt a warm hand on his forearm.

“You ok Niall?” Octavia leaned close to him and whispered in his ear. It was only now that he could smell the smoke on her breath.

“Fine.” He replied shortly, with a tight-lipped smile. It was going to be a long night. He needed another drink.

—

A frown crossed Anna’s brow as she read the articles. “Wild Direction”, “Up All Night”, “Fun Direction”, the titles were getting worse. The photo’s spoke more than any words in the articles could, Niall with numerous women, pretty enough to be models, Harry drinking and dancing with numerous women, leaning in close, could be kissing, maybe not, Anna couldn’t tell. She had no right to feel jealous, she had let Niall go, she had let them both go, but there was still the ugly green seed of jealousy growing in her stomach. Niall was laughing and dancing, his cheeks were flushed and he was clearly having a good time. Anna knew the set up, she knew that things like this could be set up and she wasn’t worried at first, but when the articles were coming out consistently for two weeks she began to question what she knew. Maybe Niall had moved on. Maybe this was his way of coping. Maybe he was over her. He was over her, judging by any of the pictures from the article that Anna was reading. Good. This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? She wanted him to move on, be happy. Didn’t she? Then why did she feel so awful?

—

Niall woke up with a splitting headache. Two weeks of concerts and clubs was wreaking havoc with his body. He heard a moan from beside him and sat up quickly in shock. There was a woman in his bed- a woman who was not Anna. Her blonde hair was spilling across the pillow, a bare shoulder glimpsing through the strands. What had happened last night? Niall stumbled blindly out of the bed surprised that he was still wearing his boxers as he made his way to the bathroom. His eyes were blood shot, his hair a mess and his mind completely blank. What had happened last night? Niall washed his face and brushed his teeth trying to remove the taste of stale beer from his tongue. He felt slightly better but the thread of anxiety was weaving through his stomach. He prayed silently that nothing had happened, that they’d just gone to sleep but the clothes scattered around the room told a different story. Niall picked up his phone from the bedside table hoping to find some memories from the night before. Scrolling through the photo’s he watched the night progress from some simple drinks and dancing into… well… drinks were shared that was certain. Niall was surprised to see both Louis and Harry in some of the photos. He had no recollection of them being anywhere near him last night. Opening twitter his ignored the thousands of notifications and looked for articles about him and he wasn’t disappointed. There were a lot. There were a lot of photos as well. Three different women in one photo; one on his lap, two by his sides, none of which were the woman that was currently fast asleep in his bed. Niall opened his messages hoping to get some more details from Harry and Louis surprised to see a conversation open between him and Anna. He scrolled to the top of the conversation.

“Anna. I miss you.”

“Anna, please talk to me.”

“Anna, I love you.”

“Hey, do you rembr tha time thay we beach>?”

“Hey, do toy wana gp put sumtin?”

“Niall, are you ok?” Niall paused. A message from Anna. She actually replied.

“MMMMM fine.” Niall cursed himself. They hadn’t spoken in months and this is what she responded to.

“I think you might be drunk Niall.”

“Not drunk, juss drink.”

“Have a fun night Niall.”

“Babby I miss ypu.”

“Please don’t call me again Niall.”

He called her? How much worse could this get?

“Lubs yiou An a. loibe yiy so ndfyh” Niall read the message four times still not knowing what he was trying to say to her. That was the end of the conversation. He opened his recent calls and saw that he’d dialed her three times and she’d answered once. What had they spoken about? What happened? If he’d spoken to Anna, how on earth did he end up with the mystery blonde? Niall carefully picked up his pants from the floor and slid them on. He had no idea who this woman was and what her name was. How awkward was this going to be when she woke up? Would she just leave? Would she want breakfast? How would Niall get through breakfast without having any idea of what her name was?

“Good morning.” A feminine voice said from behind Niall making him jump. She was awake. What was he meant to do?

“Morning.” Niall’s voice cracked as he turned around.

“Not running out on me are you?” She said smirking at him wrapping the blanket around her chest as she sat up.

“Hard to do in my own hotel room.” Niall said softly wondering how he could escape this extremely awkward situation.

She smiled as she looked around the messy room. Niall stood awkwardly holding his shirt in his hands.

“My name’s Becka, in case you didn’t remember.” She said after a while, her eyes resting on her dress that was slung over a chair.

Niall didn’t know how to reply so he stayed silent.

“Quiet in the morning aren’t you?” Becka asked after a while smiling at him.

Niall shrugged before slipping his shirt over his head.

“I’m going to get dressed now.” She said quietly before removing the covers revealing her bare chest. Niall flushed and turned around, trying to give her privacy.

“You don’t need to turn around Niall. Nothing you haven’t seen before.” Becka laughed from behind him. “You were the vocal Little Leprechaun last night.” Niall shuddered at the name. He hated, HATED, when people called him that. He couldn’t blame Becka, she wouldn’t have known that.

“I don’t mean to be rude.” Niall said turning around slowly, hoping that she was dressed. “But what happened last night?”

“You don’t remember?” Becka asked raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms across her chest.

“I drank a lot. I’m so sorry.” Niall cracked his knuckles nervously.

“Well we met at the bar. We had quite a time there. Then we came back here… and we… you know.” She nodded her head between him and the bed.

“We did?” Niall asked, his heart sinking.

“Few times.” Becka nodded.

“Oh wow.”

“Yeah. You said you needed a good screw… so we… ah… we did.” Becka grinned.

“I said that?” Niall rubbed his hands over his eyes.

“Yep.” Becka replied popping the ‘p’.

“I’m sorry. This… this isn’t a thing. This was a one night thing. I’m so sorry. I don’t do this kind of thing.” Niall stuttered out.

“Niall, I’ve seen the papers. I know how you are. It’s fine.” Becka sighed.

“How I am?” Niall asked confused.

“Different girl every night? I know Niall. It’s fine.” Becka shrugged.

“I’m… I’m not like that.” Niall defended.

“Really?” Becka asked raising an eyebrow at him. “Ok whatever. If you could call me a cab, that would be great.”

“Uh yeah. Of course.” Niall picked up the bedside phone and rang reception.

“I’m really not like that.” Niall said after hanging up the phone.

“Ok whatever. It was a good night. Give me a call if you want to do it again sometime.” Becka winked at him and kissed him messily before leaving the room.

Niall stood confused staring at the closed door. Was that really what people thought of him? Different girl every night? Was that what Anna thought of him? Now more than ever he needed to know what they spoke about last night. But first, he needed to shower and remove every trace of last night from his body and mind.

—

“Please, please, please come to the show.” Lou begged over the phone.

“Lou.” Anna sighed heavily. “It’s really not a good idea.”

“I get one day and night in London before we have to fly out again. One. That’s it. I’ll be working the whole time. I haven’t seen you in months. MONTHS.” She emphasized.

“I know and I’m sorry for that. But it’s really not a good idea for me to see them. I’ll see you when you come back again.” Anna reasoned.

“That’s simply not good enough. I’ll be gone for another two or three months, I don’t even know. I don’t get to see you anymore, at least when you came on tour before I could spend some time with you. Now I don’t get to see you. We hardly talk. I am in London for one day Anna. One. I’m really not asking much.” Lou whined.

“You are.” Anna groaned. “It will be so incredibly awkward if I have to see them. I’m not going to put them or myself in a position that would be so horrendously uncomfortable. Especially if they have to perform.”

“Please Anna. I am literally begging you. I will take a photo of me on my knees.” Lou pleaded.

“Why not after the show. We can get dinner?” Anna suggested.

“That’s what I’m asking!” Lou almost yelled.

“No, you were asking me to come to the taping. I’m not going to do that. I’ll meet you after.”

“Just come to the studio’s and then we can go to dinner.” Lou grumbled.

“Why are you so keen on me coming to the studio? It would be so awkward if I see them. What am I meant to say to them?” Anna argued again.

“You won’t see them. We’ll keep you out of sight.”

There was a long pause on the phone.

“Ok fine. Don’t come to the filming. Just come at the end to meet me there and we can go and have dinner.” Lou said giving in.

“I feel like you want me to be uncomfortable.” Anna said heavily.

“I don’t sweetheart. I really don’t. But I miss you. I just need some you time. I haven’t seen you at all and I just miss you. If you came for the whole thing we could catch up while they film, and then we could go out.” Lou said softly.

“I know Lou, but it would just be so uncomfortable and I’m just not ready for that. I’ll come to the studio when it’s over so that we can meet. I just really don’t want to see them.” Anna sighed heavily. She knew that she would always give in to Lou, she couldn’t help it.

“Excellent. Thank you, Love. Thank you so much.” Lou said happily.

“Just text me when it’s over and I’ll meet you out the front or something.” Anna rolled her eyes, not that Lou could see it.

“Ok. It’s on the 27th. So next Friday. The 27th yeah?” Lou confirmed.

“Yes. Next Friday.” Anna nodded.

“Ah, I am beyond excited. I miss you!”

“I miss you too. I have to go.” Anna said shaking her head and smiling.

“OK. Next Friday. Love you!” Lou’s voice was bubbling with excitement.

“Love you too.” Anna smiled as she hung up. It wouldn’t be weird or awkward. She wouldn’t have to see them at all. If she did, she would smile, she would be friendly, but she didn’t have to worry because she wouldn’t be seeing them at all. Besides, given the amount of articles surrounding Harry and Niall at the moment, it seemed that they’d both moved on.

—

“Who do you love?” Harry asked surprising Lou and making her jump as she hung up the phone.

“You Harry, always you.” She laughed before sliding the phone into her pocket.

“I know that. I mean who were you talking to?” He pestered.

“I hardly think that’s any of your business.” Lou raised her eyebrows at him.

“It’s not at all. I still want to know though.” Harry laughed.

“It was Anna if you must know.” Lou saw Harry swallow heavily at the mention of her name.

“How… how is she?” He asked politely.

“She’s fine.” Lou answered studying his face.

“Good. Good.” Harry mumbled.

“You still like her.” Lou guessed quietly.

“What makes you say that?” Harry asked looking up at her curiously.

“Everything about your body language and tone of voice.” Lou laughed. “I thought you moved on.”

Harry nodded absentmindedly as an awkward strained silence fell between the two of them.

“You seeing her in London?” He asked quietly.

“After the show.” Lou clarified. She continued when Harry made no response. “Maybe. If she can spare the time.”

Harry nodded again slowly before clearing his throat. “Well that will be good for you two… to erm, catch up.” He said clapping his hands together and striding away from her quickly.

“Poor Kid.” Lou mumbled as she watched his retreating figure.

—

Anna was nervous. She knew what Lou was doing. She’d sent her a text saying that the show was wrapping up but checking her watch Anna knew that they couldn’t be more than half way through filming. She shouldn’t be nervous. Niall was over her. Harry was over her. The tabloids had confirmed that. But that didn’t stop her from taking extra care with her hair and make up and picking out the perfect outfit. Black skinny jeans accentuating her calves, black pumps lifting her arse, a white tank top with a statement necklace, she left her hair down, loose waves, her hair actually cooperating with her for once. She kept her makeup simple but with a bright bold red lip. After looking over herself in the mirror one last time she picked up her black leather jacket and left her house. It was now or never.

—

Lou paced nervously around the dressing room. She texted Anna early, she didn’t mean to (yes she did) but she just missed her and wanted to see her, so she sent her a message telling her that they were wrapping up. Lou jumped as her phone buzzed in her pocket. “I’m on my way.” She smiled getting more excited as the minutes ticked by switched between sitting and pacing the floor nervously.

—

Anna stepped off the bus butterflies running rampant in her stomach. She was early. She knew that she was early. There were crowds of fans gathering around the entrance clearly the show was still being filmed. Anna pulled out her phone and sent Lou a message letting her know that she’d arrived. Lou replied almost immediately telling her to head to the left and one of the security guards, Phil, that Anna had met a few times would be waiting for her. Anna took a deep breath and headed in the direction that Lou had told her, praying that she wouldn’t see the boys, but secretly hoping that she would.

—

Lou squealed as Anna opened the door to the dressing room slowly.

“Anna!” Lou gathered her up in her arms squeezing her tightly.

“Lou.” Tears sprung to Anna’s eyes as she hugged her friend. It really had been far too long.

The two woman stood holding each other both trying not to cry as the reality of the time away from each other hit them.

“I missed you.” Anna sniffed, her nerves forgotten.

“Don’t cry. Stop crying.” Lou chastised sniffling slightly.

“You’re one to talk.” Anna laughed finally pulling back.

“Oh hush you.” Lou laughed wiping her eyes lightly. “You look stunning. What happened?”

“Effort.” Anna shrugged giggling.

“Well hot damn.” Lou wiggled her eyebrows at her.

“I have a bone to pick with you.” Anna said suddenly serious crossing her arms across her chest.

“What’s that?” Lou’s face immediately fell.

“They are clearly not finished.” Anna indicated the door behind her with her head.

Lou blushed while laughing. “I was keen to see you. Can you blame me?”

Anna shook her head smiling at her. “I can’t. But I’ll see you outside.” She turned to the door.

“No Anna. Come on. Wait in here with me. They won’t be long.” Lou begged.

“That’s exactly why I am going. I told you I don’t want to see them. So I will see you outside.” Anna held up her hand stopping Lou from continuing before she left the room to exit the way that she’d come.


	28. “I don’t know why you haven’t yet.”

Harry exited the stage set up following the line of boys. He caught a glimpse of a woman walking hurriedly past him; her body making him stumble slightly with a flush of arousal. Something he hadn’t felt since Anna. Maybe he was moving on? Her long hair was in waves down her back, he’d briefly made out a fringe and bright red lips, he missed her eye colour as they fleetingly made contact with his. Her colouring was similar to Anna, but slightly different. Besides Anna wasn’t one to wear something so sexy. Harry wondered if he would be able to find her again in the studio. She might work here. It seemed so sudden and so ridiculous to Harry that he would need to find this woman again after seeing her briefly, but she managed to give him the same flutter in his stomach that he’d had when he’d first met Anna. She was coming from the direction of their dressing room. He wondered if she’d been speaking to Lou, maybe Lou knew who she was. Harry was suddenly eager to get back to the dressing room and he looked behind him to see her retreating form and her very fit behind disappear around a corner.

—

Niall stumbled as he stared at the woman who hurried away from them as they walked through the hallways. She looked so much like Anna, thinner, her hair was darker and she had a fringe that Anna didn’t have, and she also wasn’t dressed like Anna. Maybe if she had have been wearing runners or something it could have been Anna, but that would be ridiculous. She wouldn’t be at the studios that they were at. They were here for only one day before they continued on tour. It was stupid and ridiculous to think that she would come here to see him. That after all this time she still loved him. That she was just waiting for him to come home to her and she would declare her love for him. That was a dream he’d given up a few weeks ago. His heart still ached for her and he knew that he would continue to love her for a long time, but projecting her onto strangers that passed him briefly and didn’t give him a second look wasn’t helping.

—

Anna’s heart was pounding in her chest. She’d made eye contact with Harry but dropped it quickly praying that he wouldn’t recognize her. She could feel the eyes on her as she almost ran past them with her head down. Harry’s hair was longer, he looked tired but he was still as breath taking as she remembered, her stomach knotted at the sight of him. She didn’t see Niall and she was both glad and heart broken. She assumed that he was somewhere between Louis and Liam and that was why she missed him, with Harry bringing up the rear. She saw the quick look of recognition mixed with confusion pass Louis’ face as she passed them and she knew that her eyes were pleading him not to say anything. It was a brief second of passing but she was sure he nodded slightly and kept his mouth shut as they made their way into the room that she was escaping. Anna turned the corner her breathing heavy, she jumped as Phil put a hand on her shoulder.

“Jeeze.” She breathed.

“Sorry sweetheart. You ok?” He asked kindly.

“I am. Thank you Phil.” Anna leaned against the wall running a hand through her hair.

“I didn’t expect to see you around again.” Phil said quietly as Anna pushed herself up from the wall and started to follow Phil to the exit.

“I’m just here to see Lou.” Anna replied quietly.

“They miss you, you know. They may not say it, but they do.” He said opening the door for her.

“Who?” Anna asked, thinking that she already knew the answer.

“Lou, Harry, Louis, Niall. They all do.” Phil sighed closing the door behind them, the distant sound of the fans yells in the background. “You were a pleasure to have a tour, you brought something nice. S’not the same since you went.”

“Thanks Phil. That’s nice of you to say.” Anna smiled up at him.

He shrugged suddenly blushing, “Truth is all.”

“Still I appreciate it.”

“You look good Anna.” Phil said over his shoulder as he headed back inside. “I’ll send Lou out to you.”

“Thank you.” Anna called back to him before he gave a curt wave and closed the door again. Anna ran her hand through her hair again with nerves, praying that the band would exit through the public eye, rather than to where she was, completely exposed with no where to hide.

—

“Lou!” Harry called when he entered the room. She looked up smiling and made her way over to him.

“How did it go?”

“Fine, fine.” Harry brushed her off. “There was a girl that walked past the room before, did you see her?”

“A girl?” Lou asked surprised.

“Yeah, she was wearing black pants I think and a white top. Did you see her?” Harry asked desperately. He couldn’t believe he just let her walk past him. It was the most alive he’d felt in months.

Lou hesitated before answering, “Harry there are people everywhere, I have no idea.”

“Urgh.” Harry groaned. “She was just… I don’t. My stomach jolted when I saw her. That sounds so cheesy and ridiculous. I haven’t felt anything like that since…” Harry voice dropped, “Since Anna.” He shook his head. Two women he let slip through his fingers. “Ah. It was probably nothing. She was just pretty.” Harry sighed. Lou studied his face carefully.

“Anyway. What are you doing for dinner? Do you want to get something?” Harry asked running a hand over his face, his attention was back on Lou.

“Erm. I’d love to but I already have plans. Sorry love.”

“Oh really? Who with?” Harry asked surprised. He was sure that Lou hadn’t mentioned dinner plans at all during the day.

“Just a friend. Actually she… he’s probably waiting for me.” Lou stumbled over her words as she picked up her bag.

“She or he?” Harry laughed.

“He. He is probably waiting for me.” Lou confirmed, feeling her cheeks flush.

“You’re lying to me Lou.” Harry pointed out still smiling at her.

“I’m not.” Lou’s voice was higher than usual. She cleared her throat. “I’m not, but I am late. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Tomorrow. Have a good night.” Harry hugged her quickly before watching her rush out the door.

—

Lou made her way out the building quickly. Sighing in relief when she saw Anna waiting for her.

“Nearly blew that cover didn’t I.” She laughed as she hugged Anna again.

“What happened?” Anna asked smiling.

“Harry. I think he saw you. Maybe not. But then he asked me out for dinner. If anyone asks, you’re a man.” Lou said quickly making Anna laugh loudly.

“Should we go?”

“Yes, before they follow me out or something.” Lou said breathlessly. “I feel like I am on the run or undercover or something.”

“How about just having dinner with a friend?” Anna suggested.

“When we eat, I might feel like that.” Lou laughed.

—

“Lou left her phone.” Harry announced before exiting the room. She hadn’t been gone long; he could still catch her.

“Can’t let you go out there mate.” Phil one of the team’s security guards stopped him before he got outside.

“I just have Lou’s phone. I think I can still catch her.” Harry said trying to move past him.

“There are fans out there Harry. You’ll get mobbed. I can take it.” Phil defended stopping Harry from going any further.

“They’re out the front Phil, Lou left out the back. It will be fine, I’ll be back in a second.” Harry said again before pushing past him out of the doors. Harry looked around quickly and saw Lou’s retreating figure next to another person.

“Lou!” Harry called out holding up her phone and slightly jogging towards the two figures.

They both turned as Harry called out Lou’s name, mid laugh and Harry nearly tripped over his own feet. Lou was with the woman he’d briefly seen in the hallway. And the woman was… Anna.

—

Anna felt the blood rush from her face as she turned and saw Harry chasing after them. He seemed to stumble a bit before he completely stopped his mouth wide open. Lou looked between them, fear in her eyes, with no idea what she should say.

“Anna?” He barely whispered her name but he could have been shouting it at her. Anna was speechless. She knew this was going to happen. She’d have to face either of them at some point. Anna was sure she looked like a fish, her mouth opening and closing, words not coming out. Harry took another hesitant step towards them and Anna immediately stumbled backwards in surprise.

“Never been scared of me before.” Harry laughed. Lou suddenly snapped to life and strode purposefully towards Harry.

“Love?” She asked quietly as she approached him.

“You left your phone.” Harry replied holding it out to her, his eyes not moving away from Anna.

“Thank you.” Lou took the phone from him but Harry didn’t budge an inch.

“Anna’s here.” Harry’s eye briefly switched to Lou before focusing back on Anna.

“She is.” Lou confirmed.

“What is Anna doing here?”

“We are going to dinner.” Lou answered simply.

Harry walked slowly towards Anna, pleased that this time she didn’t back away from him.

—

“Anna.” Harry breathed standing in front of her. She looked so different. She was thinner and had cut her hair, maybe even changed it’s colour slightly. Her green eyes were still the same though, glowing at him like they always did, and her smile still as wide.

“Alright?” She said quietly.

Harry laughed loudly. “Alright.” He replied making her giggle quietly. “You look good.”

 

“You look alright yourself.” Anna answered running a hand through her hair with nerves.

“I… Erm.” Harry stuttered.

“Harry speechless. Who knew that could happen.” Anna laughed loudly.

Harry felt himself blush at the sound of her laugh. “Just surprised to see you.” Harry couldn’t stop smiling. “What… what are you doing here?”

“Having dinner with Lou. She said she was in for one night and it’s been a while… so … here we are.” Anna shrugged.

Harry took in every feature of her face, her body, trying to memorize everything about her. He had no idea when he would get to see her again, get to talk to her. He couldn’t believe that she was standing right in front of him. How many times had he dreamt of this moment? What he would say to her, what he would look like, what she would look like, how many times had he imagined this? And yet, this was nothing like he imagined. He didn’t imagine her looking so good, looking so different, but so much the same. He didn’t imagine that her laugh would send shivers down his body, that his body was going to react they way that it was. He didn’t imagine that he was going to fall in love with her all over again.

“I just can’t believe that you are standing in front of me.” Harry suddenly laughed, nerves bubbling up in his stomach.

“Well. It won’t be for long.” Anna smiled as Harry’s smile dropped.

“What do you mean?” He couldn’t keep the heartbreak out of his voice, his stomach clenching.

“Well. We have to go to dinner.” Anna’s eyes flicked over to Lou who was studying them both quietly.

“Oh right. Yeah. Um. Ok.” Harry cracked his knuckles nervously.

“Did you want to go?” Lou asked nervously to Anna.

“We should.” Anna nodded. Harry’s eyes were running desperately over her face, trying to remember everything about her. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

Anna looked like she was about to say something but paused and held back.

“It was good seeing you Harry.” Anna said quietly.

“You… you too.” Harry’s voice was getting caught in his throat. There was still so much he wanted to say her and he had no idea how.

Anna and Lou turned away from him and Harry suddenly felt empty again. It was the same feeling he’d had since they’d stopped talking months ago. He felt warm being around her again and that was slipping away from him quickly.

“Anna?” He called out, louder than he meant too. She turned quickly and his stomach flipped.

“Can we… Catch up?” He asked, or rather mumbled at her.

“You’re flying out tomorrow morning.” Anna reminded him.

“Um. Yeah. But maybe I can call you.” Harry suggested.

“I think you have your hands full at the moment Harry. It was good seeing you.” Anna waved slightly again before she and Lou made their way out of sight.

“Have my hands full?” Harry was confused as he made he way back inside.

—

“Harry mate!” Louis greeted as Harry entered the room again. “Where’d you go?”

“Lou left her phone. Went to go give it to her.” Harry mumbled. He saw Niall sitting across the room. Should he tell him that he saw Anna? Was that wise? Did he even want to tell Niall? Would Anna want Niall to know that she was there? Obviously not after she went to so much effort of hiding from them. He couldn’t get her face out of his head. She looked stunning. She’d changed so much in three months, and yet she was exactly the same. “I think you have your hands full at the moment Harry.” Her words replayed over and over in his head. What did she mean? The tour? Promotional trips? That had never bothered her before. They used to be able to make time for each other. They hadn’t spoken in over three months, but as soon as he saw her, none of that mattered anymore. He wanted her all over again.

“Harry?” Liam’s voice broke through his obsessive thoughts.

“Hmm?” Harry looked up; almost everyone in the room was looking at him. “What’s wrong?”

“You were completely out of it. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Liam laughed, everyone seemed to go back to whatever they were doing, except Niall who continued to stare at him.

“’M fine.” Harry replied, trying to smile but it dropped as Niall made his way over to him.

“Where’s Lou?” He asked facing Harry.

“Gone to dinner with a friend.” Harry tried to say straight-faced.

“What happened?’ Niall pressed, he knew something was up.

“Nothing. I just gave Lou her phone and they left.” Harry answer shrugging.

“Who are they?” Niall asked raising his eyebrows.

“Lou…” Harry replied quietly.

“Was she with Anna?” Niall asked quickly.

“What makes you say that?” Harry countered. Why was he holding out on Niall? Why didn’t he want him to know that he’d seen Anna? Harry could answer that question easily. He’d fallen in love with her all over again after just a simple glance.

“Your face.” Niall answered simply.

“Yeah she was.” Harry sighed heavily. He couldn’t hold this from Niall, more that he shouldn’t and he didn’t want to guilt hanging over his head.

“You saw her?” Niall whipped his head toward the door, wondering if he could still catch them.

“Yeah I did.” Harry mumbled.

“What? How was she? Is she ok? What did she look like?” Niall bombarded him with questions.

“She looked fine.” Harry tried to shrug. She looked better than fine: she looked incredible.

“What did she say?” Niall pressed, still looking like he wanted to run out the door after her.

“Nothing really. I just gave Lou her phone and left.” Harry replied nervously.

“Bullshit you did.” Niall called Harry on his lie. “Did she ask about me?”

“There wasn’t really any time Niall. We said Hi quickly and then they left.” Harry replied as honestly as he could. He couldn’t tell Niall about the way her eyes glowed, the way she cut her hair was different but still amazing, that she looked thinner but still sexy, still with curves, that she held herself tall but still looked like she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. He couldn’t tell Niall about the way her voice sent shivers over Harry’s spine and he was reminded about why he fell in love with her in the first place. He couldn’t tell Niall about how he memorized everything about her in the brief second that they saw each other and that she would be guest staring in his dreams and nightmares for the next month.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked as Niall sighed in frustration and started to look through his phone.

“Calling Lou.” He replied shortly before finding the contact and calling the number.

“No Niall. Don’t.” Niall held up his hand to silence him, as he listened to the phone ringing.

“Lou?” Niall asked, Harry was surprised that she’d answered. “Are you with Anna?” He asked immediately.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Niall demanded. Harry watched him in concern. Lou and Anna would be angry that he’d said anything. But Niall had basically forced it out of him.

“What do you mean it’s not my concern? She’d my bloody girlfriend.” Niall replied angrily.

Harry’s stomach clenched at his words. Niall was still not over Anna. He still loved her. That wouldn’t die any time soon and Harry knew exactly how he felt.

“Lou you know how I feel about her.” Niall’s voice sounded heartbreaking. “Can… can I just talk to her?”

“OK…. No I get it.” Niall eventually sighed.

Harry watched his face while he nervously cracked his knuckles, everyone else in the room faded into the background as Harry watched the one sided conversation.

“Ok. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Niall said defeated. “Just tell her I say hello.”

“Thanks Lou.” Niall sighed again before he hung up.

Without saying a word to anyone Niall left the room and Harry watched him exit. It wasn’t right that he still felt this way about Anna, especially when he knew how much she meant to Niall, but he still couldn’t deny his feelings for her. He still loved her.

—

Anna laughed as Lou linked their arms and walked back to Anna’s apartment. More than a few glasses of wine had made Anna quite giggly.

“I am so glad we were able to have a night together.” Lou sighed as they approached Anna’s house.

“Same here. It has been so long. I have missed you.” Anna mused as she dug her keys from her bag.

“I like your hair by the way.” Lou commented. “Did I tell you that?”

“Only about five times, but I will happily take a sixth.” Anna laughed.

“I can’t believe you didn’t consult me though.” Lou chastised as Anna finally pushed her door open.

“I couldn’t just call you one day and ask Lou.” Anna shook her head as she removed her coat.

“You could.” Lou replied adamantly.

“Hi Lou, thinking of cutting my hair. Thoughts? Feelings?” Anna mimicked talking into her phone.

“Strong feelings. Send me a photo and I will tell you if I approve.” Lou replied also mimicking talking into a phone.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time then.” Anna laughed shaking her head. “Tea?” She offered noticing that Lou hadn’t taken off her coat.

“No. I need to go home. Early flight in the morning.” Lou said disappointed.

“What time’s the flight?” Anna asked unable to keep her smile from dropping.

“Eleven.” Lou replied.

Anna burst out laughing. “That’s not early Lou.”

“I have to go see mum in the morning. She wants to see Lux before we jet off again. I’ve been a terrible daughter and hijacked her granddaughter apparently.” Lou rolled her eyes.

“Well then. You’d best be off.” Anna laughed.

“It was really great seeing you Anna.” Lou hugged her one last time. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

“Your job, not mine.” Anna smiled.

“That’s not what I meant.” Lou frowned at her.

“I know. I’m great at avoiding.” Anna nodded.

“Seriously though.”

“I know, I know. One day it won’t be like this, I promise.” Anna bit her bottom lip.

“Please make that day soon. I miss you.” Lou answered. “I’ll call you later yeah.”

“Yeah. Thanks Lou. Have a good flight tomorrow.” Anna nodded as she opened the door.

“Harry?” Lou and Anna said in unison as Harry stood at her door fist raised ready to knock.

“I’ll… uh… bye Anna.” Lou said hurriedly before running down the front steps and hailing a taxi as soon as she could.

Anna watched helplessly as she drove away, gesturing out the back window, something Anna couldn’t understand. Harry hadn’t said anything yet and her focus shifted back to him.

“What are you doing here?” Anna finally asked in shock.

“Erm. I don’t know really. These are for you.” Harry held out a bouquet of flowers.

“What are you doing here Harry?” Anna asked again.

“I… needed…. Can I come in?” Harry asked still holding out the flowers to her.

“I don’t think….” Anna started to say.

“Anna, please. It’s me.” Harry cut her off.

Anna stared at him for a long while, trying to make up her mind. She knew that she would have to get this over with some time; it may as well be now. “Ok. Come in.” Anna stood back from the door and let him into her house, closing the door quietly behind her.

—

Harry and Anna stood awkwardly in her hallway facing each other, neither of them saying anything. Harry was still holding onto the flowers he’d got for her.

“Do… do you want these?” He finally asked breaking the silence.

“Uh, yeah.” Anna took the flowers from him and walked to the kitchen, as Harry followed her.

“You look nice.” Harry began again after she’d put them into a vase filled with water.

“What are you doing here Harry?” Anna sighed leaning her hip against the kitchen counter.

“I… Don’t know actually. I saw you with Lou. I remembered how much I just miss you. And I just wanted to talk to you.” Harry stumbled his way through his words nervously. “We haven’t spoken in so long and I just miss you.”

“You’ve been keeping yourself busy.” Anna commented raising an eyebrow at him.

“With tour?” Harry asked surprised.

“Among other things.” Anna crossed her arms across her chest.

“What other things?”

“You and Niall have become quite the party boys haven’t you?” Anna stated staring at him, her green eyes flaming with anger.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“Honestly Harry don’t play dumb. It doesn’t suit you. I’ve seen the articles.” Anna rolled her eyes.

“The what? The… the clubs? No Anna. You’ve got it wrong.” Harry replied.

“Have I now?” Anna asked sarcastically.

“The management, PR, they want us to be going out. They are the ones making us do it. They said we looked too sad so they sent us out.” Harry answered quickly.

“Mmhmm.” Anna hummed clearly not believing it.

“I’m serious Anna. We both don’t want to be doing it.” Harry defended.

“You know that you are in control of your life Harry? You know that right?” Anna dropped her hands to her sides.

“Not when it comes to this. Sometimes we just have to go along with it.” Harry answered.

“So you don’t want to be hooking up with a different girl every night? Yeah ok.” Anna said sarcastically.

“I’m not Anna. I swear.” Harry pleaded with her.

“It’s none of my business anyway. You do what you want.” Anna sighed.

Harry stayed silent; he had no idea what he should be saying to her.

“Honestly Harry. I thought…. I don’t know. I thought that I knew you and that I knew what you were like. But after the past couple of months… I don’t recognize you.” Anna ran a hand through her hair pushing her fringe to the side slightly.

“You do Anna. I’m still Harry.”

“Are you?” Anna questioned staring at him intently. “I don’t think that you know what you want anymore Harry.”

“I know what I want.” Harry shook his head in disagreement.

“Do you?”

“I want you Anna.” Harry said the four simple words he’d been holding onto for what felt like ten years before he strode around the kitchen counter and pulled her into his arms. Anna froze in shock at his contact.

“Anna. I love you. I never stopped loving you. I know it’s been a long time, I know it’s been weird and I’m putting you in such an awkward position, I just need you to know that I love you. You. I love you Anna.” Harry said after taking a deep breath.

“Anna.” He whispered tilting her chin towards him.

“Harry.” Her voice shook with nerves.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know why you haven’t yet.” Anna replied in a whisper before Harry connected their lips.


	29. The Dam Has Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough* smut ahead *cough*

Anna didn’t know what she was doing. She was letting Harry kiss her. She felt her stomach bubble and drop as she felt his lips press softly against her own. She would be lying if she were to say that she hadn’t thought about this. She felt his tongue gently brush against her lips and it made her shudder. Slowly his lips pulled gently on her bottom lip and sucked on it slowly, Anna sighed at the taste left on her lips. Harry used the opportunity of her open mouth to slowly push his tongue against hers. Anna shuddered as she heard Harry moan as he pulled her closer to his chest while walking her backwards so that she was trapped between him and the kitchen counter. Harry pulled away from her so that she could catch her breath. But his mouth didn’t stop working. Placing small kisses on the edge of her mouth his moved her way down her chin.

“Harry.” Anna breathed. She didn’t know if she wanted him to stop or was egging him on for more.

“Anna. I. Love. You.” Each word was punctured with a kiss as he nuzzled further into her collarbone.

“Harry.”

“Anna.” Harry finally looked up at her, his eyes glowing.

“What are we doing?” Anna tried to move backward from him but was still trapped. One hand was resting on her hip, the other cradling around her back.

“Something that I wanted to do for a long, long time.” Harry said leaning down to connect their lips again. Anna didn’t hesitate and kissed him back as he moved to closer to her, she didn’t know if that was possible. His hand moved from her hip to clutch the back of her neck, tilting her mouth for better access. Anna moaned into the kiss. Harry’s lips were made for kissing, made for kissing Anna.

“Harry stop.” Anna finally pulled away. She hadn’t noticed that she’d moved her hands, one clutching his bicep and the other hand held up against his chest, her fingers bunching in his shirt.

Harry pulled back kissing her sweetly on the lips and once on the forehead before he looked down at her. Anna saw something in his eyes, something that she’d only seen from Niall. Harry loved her. He loved her. She could see it. How long had be been looking at her like that? How long had she not noticed?

“That was better than I imagined.” Harry hummed smiling down at her, the dimples of his cheeks settling in deeply.

“We shouldn’t have done that Harry.” Anna said quietly, watching Harry’s face fall.

“What? Why?” Harry asked his eyes searching hers.

“Because… because…” Anna searched for the right words.

“Anna.” Harry soothed her; she could feel herself getting upset.

“Because of Niall. Because of you. Because of me.” Anna huffed.

“Anna. You have nothing to apologize for.” Harry shook his head.

As much as she hated to admit it, she wanted to kiss him again. She wanted him to hold her like he was, like she was the most important thing in the world, that she was the only thing keeping him grounded on the earth.

“But what happens tomorrow. You go back on tour. You have to look at Niall. I… I can’t do this Harry. I’m sorry. This was a mistake.” Anna managed to duck under his arm and escape from him.

“Anna, don’t say that.” Harry turned to look at her, his face was falling.

“I can’t do this again. Not to you, not to Niall. Not to me.” Anna said feeling her jaw start quivering.

“Hey, hey.” Harry strode through the kitchen and gathered her up in his arms again. “You are worrying too much.”

“And you aren’t worrying enough.” Anna mumbled into his chest making him chuckle.

“I’m serious Harry.” Anna said pulling back and looking up at him. Her hands had automatically linked themselves around his waist when he’d hugged her. “You aren’t thinking about this. I hurt you and Niall once before. I’m not doing it again.” She finished with conviction shaking her head.

“Anna. Sweetheart. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Harry frowned down at her and he could see that she still didn’t believe him. “Alright, yeah it hurt, but that’s just because you weren’t around any more. I missed you. I never stopped loving you. I’ve been waiting for so long to kiss you and I don’t regret it. Do… do you regret it?”

“No!” Anna said immediately, “And yes. We shouldn’t have kissed Harry. I mean… ah. Why is this so hard?” Ann groaned in frustration stepped out of his arms and beginning to pace.

“What’s so hard? Tell me Anna.” Harry tried to coax the words out of her.

“You. This. This is hard. I mean. Shit Harry. You are an excellent kisser. Really. Kudos on that.” Harry felt himself blush a little bit, “But it shouldn’t have happened. Why does it have to be like this? I want to kiss you, but I’m thinking about Niall. Then I am thinking about kissing Niall. I miss Niall. I love Niall. And then there you are. Showing up on my doorstep. Right when I think that I might be ok. And you tell me that you love me. And you kiss me like you love me, then I think that I might love you. And I feel so much guilt. Because I enjoyed it, and if I didn’t stop this would have gone so much further and I couldn’t live with myself if it did.” Anna’s words came in a rush as she paced, her thoughts travelling at a million miles an hour.

“You think you love me?” Harry’s voice was hoarse.

“That all you...? That’s what you got out of that?” Anna asked in surprised, stopping her panicked pacing.

“It’s not every day that the woman of my dreams tells me that she loves me to be honest.” Harry’s grin was spreading from ear to ear.

“Did you miss the part about the raging guilt?” Anna put her hands on her hips and asked sarcastically.

“No, I heard all that. Just. You love me.” Harry repeated his eyes glinting with joy.

“I might Harry. I don’t know.” Anna huffed throwing up her hands in exhaustion.

“Have I told you that you look extremely sexy Anna? I don’t think I have.” Harry mused, still grinning.

“Seriously?” Anna groaned rolling her eyes at him.

“Seriously.” Harry nodded licking his lips. “Your hair is different. But I like it. Those red lips, now I know what they taste like. Your body pressed against mine. Anna it’s taking everything within to not leap towards you and kiss you again.”

“Harry really? Now is not the time to be controlled by your dick.” Anna sighed heavily crossing her arms and then letting them drop when she noticed that it drew Harry’s eyes to her chest.

“I’m not Anna. It’s everything about you. I am so in love with you. I just need you to know that. It’s not the way that you look, although that is an extreme bonus. It’s you Anna. It’s who you are. Caring so much about everyone else, putting everyone else above yourself. Anna I love you. I … I just love you.” Harry finished somewhat lamely. Anna continued to stare at him, he could see her resolve waning before she threw her walls back up again.

“And what happens tomorrow Harry. You go back on tour for whoever knows how long. You leave. And I am here, by myself, listening to the rumours, listening to the lies and you aren’t here. That’s what it is. You aren’t here. So tell me what happens tomorrow Harry. You might be able to go on loving me, but I can’t be waiting around for you to come back. I need to be loving me.” Anna finally felt the sob rise in her chest. “And what about Niall? He still owns so much of my heart and it’s killing me to be feeling these things for you. But in the end, you both just leave me here. You continue your lives expecting me to just be here for you both. And I can’t Harry. I just can’t. My life keeps happening while you are away. Things keep happening to me. And it’s just me, here, by myself, trying to hold myself together. So you can come here with you grand gestures, and ignore everything that I am saying except for what you want to hear. I can’t do it Harry. I won’t do it to you. I won’t do it to Niall. I won’t do it to me.” Anna was panting by the end of her rant. Everything that she had been feeling for the past six months without Harry or Niall burst out of her. Her loneliness, her anger, her hurt, it all rose to the surface.

“Anna… I….” Harry was speechless.

“I think you should go Harry.” Anna sniffed.

“I don’t want to leave you like this Anna.” He said carefully.

“But that’s just it isn’t it? You are always going to end up leaving.”

—

Harry sat on his bed alone. He had no idea what was going to happen when he saw Anna. He never thought that he would get a chance to kiss Anna and that she would be so willing to kiss him back. It felt like her lips were made to fit his. Just the thought of his lips moving against his was enough to send shivers down his body. The feeling of her pressed between him and kitchen counter, Harry trembled. He never in a million years thought that he would get to experience that. He knew that he shouldn’t have surprised her like that, but he also knew that he couldn’t help it. After seeing her briefly with Lou he knew that he would do whatever it took to see her again. If only they weren’t flying out in the morning. He would spend every waking moment with her, convincing her how much he loved her, how much he wanted her. He would convince her that it was going to be ok. That she wouldn’t be on her own. That he would always be there for her. But he knew the truth. He couldn’t promise that to her and as much as he hated to admit it, she was right. She would always be there, waiting for them to return. Waiting, by herself, alone, trying to keep her life going for him to swoop in on a weekend and stir things up for her. The selfish part of Harry didn’t care about that. He knew what he wanted and he knew that it was Anna. That she was all that he wanted. He didn’t care about anything else. He didn’t care what people thought, what they would say. He cared about her. But maybe that wasn’t enough. They were going to be on break for six months soon. He knew what people were expecting. They were expecting him to fly back to LA to spend a week or two avoiding people and then he would be about again, getting photos every second of his life. He knew that’s what people expected. But what if? What if this time, he came home, he spent time with his family. He could show Anna him again. He could show her how much he loved her, how he was still the same guy, how they could be happy together.

Harry’s eye started to droop after the extremely long day; his mind was firmly set on Anna’s lips moving in sync with his own as he slowly drifted off to sleep. He would show her how much he loved her. He would show her how happy he could make her.

—

Niall had spent half the night tossing and turning in his bed. Anna was so close to him, but he’d missed her. How could he keep missing her like this? Why didn’t Lou say anything? He knew the answer to that, but it still hurt. It was with Anna firmly on his mind that he got dressed that morning. He had some time before the flight out of London. He could take her out for breakfast. It was a Saturday, she would be home doing her washing and sorting out the coming weeks lesson plans. He wondered if he should have sent her a message to warn her as she walked up the stairs leading to the house. But then, she may have thought of an excuse to not see him, to make sure that she wouldn’t be at home. It was early but Niall knew that she would be at home. Nervously he knocked on her door. He’d only felt this nervous a few times in his life. One of those included sitting on Anna’s couch and confessing that he had feelings for her. That had worked out well for him last time. Perhaps it would work well again. He could hear music playing from behind the door, a sure sign that she was home. His stomach was in his throat as the door opened and there she stood in front of him.

—

“Niall?” Her voice was exactly as he remembered and he felt it breath life back into his body.

“Niall, what are you doing here?” She asked surprised.

“I….” Niall was lost for words. What was he doing there? What was he going to say to her? There was silence between them as Niall fought to bring some words out of his dry mouth and Anna stood staring at him in surprise.

“Do you want to come in?” Anna eventually asked as Niall continued to struggle to form a coherent sentence. He nodded quickly and she stood aside to let him in.

She looked different; she’d cut her hair and lost some weight. She still wore the same style of clothing, she was still Anna, but she looked different.

“You look amazing.” Niall finally choked out.

“Thanks.” She replied nervously chewing on her bottom lip. She walked into her lounge room, where of course, schoolwork was scattered around the room. She cleared some room on the couch and sat down, giving Niall an ample amount of time to memorize her body again.

“Have a seat.” She gestured around the room, but the only area that wasn’t covered with paper was on the couch next to her. Niall took a deep breath, trying to swallow his nerves as he sat down next to her. This was the closest they’d been in months. Niall wanted to gather her up in his arms. Memorize everything about her. He continued to stare at her, afraid that if he blinked she would disappear and this would have all been a dream, and he would wake up alone once again.

“You look good.” Anna commented, her eyes focused on his face.

Niall laughed once without humor. He looked terrible; he knew he did, too many late nights, too many nights without Anna.

“Kind of you to say, but you shouldn’t lie.” He shook his head slowly looking down at his hands briefly and then back to her.

“Fine. You ok?” Anna asked smiling.

Her smile, had it always been that perfect? How much of her did Niall take for granted?

“Not really.” Niall shook his head, his face falling. What was he meant to say to her? Everything that he’d planned on the way over to her house was suddenly nowhere to be found.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Anna offered, she looked as though she was about to put her hand on his knee but then thought better of it and moved her hands back into her lap.

Niall scoffed. What could she do? Fix him? Love him again? Any of those options would work.

“Quiet aren’t you.” Anna mused as she continued to study Niall. “Quietest I’ve ever heard from you.”

“I don’t really know what to say Anna to be perfectly honest. I am completely scared that I am going to blink and you are going to be gone and this would all have been a dream, and I can’t believe I just said that out loud. Now I hope this is a dream so that I can erase that bit.” Niall’s words fell out of his mouth in a tumble.

Anna laughed lightly. “I promise you are here, I am real and I won’t suddenly disappear.” Anna tried to comfort him, but his heart broke further, because at some point he would have to get up from this couch and he would be the one disappearing… again.

“This is hard Anna.” It felt good for him to say her name again. “I want to say so many things, but I am so worried I am going to scare you off.”

“You need to say it Niall. Go ahead. I deserve it.” Anna sighed sadly looking down at her hands.

“I love you Anna.” Niall said quickly. Before anything else, he knew that was true.

Anna looked up in surprise. “What?”

“I love you. More than anything, first and foremost you need to know how I feel about you, how I still feel about you. Second I understand why you wanted to end it, what was happening and how you are feeling. I’m not angry any more. I get it. I just want you to be happy. And I know that you just want me to be happy, but I can’t be happy without you. You make me happy.” Niall took a deep breath. She looked so surprised. Like she was expecting him to yell at her, to tell her that she meant nothing to him anymore but that would be all lies.

“I….” Anna was speechless. The roles had reversed.

“I’m not expecting anything to happen right now. I know that it’s silly and I shouldn’t have come here unannounced. I hope you know that I just needed to see you. That I just needed… I need you. I needed to see you. When you opened the door it was like I could finally breath again and these past couple of months, I’ve been downing. Shit that was lame. I’m sorry. I just can’t believe that I’m sitting here with you. I don’t know what I am saying.” Niall rambled while Anna watched him quietly.

“I really need you to say something Anna.” Niall eventually said after a long silence between them.

“I don’t really know what to say Niall.” Anna shook her head slowly.

“Just anything.” Niall sighed.

“I… I don’t know Niall. I feel awful about the way that I handled all of this. It really wasn’t fair to you. I’m sorry I hurt you.” Anna took a deep breath. “There was so much going on. We made it through so many things, so many rumours, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was too hard.”

“Why? Why did it suddenly become to hard?” Niall asked almost pleading her.

“Because you were gone. Because it was just me here, by myself, driving myself insane. I couldn’t do that anymore. Every time I saw a picture of you, it hurt because I wasn’t there. I was holding you back. I made you and Harry turn on each other, and that wasn’t right. I couldn’t be the reason that things fell apart between you.” Anna answered honestly.

“I would have come home straight away if you just talked to me Anna.” Niall said earnestly, braving cupping her hands in his own, pleased when she didn’t pull away.

“But you shouldn’t have to Niall. There’s where the problem is. You shouldn’t have to need to come home. I need…” Anna hesitated.

“What?” Niall’s gripped tightened on her hands.

“I needed someone that was home.” Anna answered simply. Niall could see the tears pooling in her eyes.

“What do I do if you are my home?” Niall asked sadly.

“I’m not your home.” Anna chuckled sadly. “I’m your rental.”

—

Niall drove to the airport the conversation playing over and over in his head. He was sure that Anna still loved him. There was no sign that she was over him; he hadn’t brought up sleeping with someone else, even when she brought up the news articles about his ‘party’ lifestyle. He didn’t want to hurt her, but was he hurting her by not being honest with her? Niall hurt. He was hurting. He missed her, missed the comfort over her, it broke his heart to watch her cry and know that he couldn’t do anything about it. He stayed for as long as he could, knowing that this would be the last time for a long time that he would get to talk to her, see her, touch her, even if it was only her hands. The weight that had lifted from him when he saw her again immediately settled back on his shoulders as she shut the door behind him. She’d hugged him goodbye and he’d held her for dear life, hoping that he could communicate to her how much he loved her but just holding her. He’d brushed her cheek with his lips and she turned her head slightly to kiss him properly. He was stunned, too surprised to enjoy it. But as he thought about it now, his lips tingled with the memory. He wanted to be the man that was home for her, that was home with her when she needed him, but right now he knew that that wasn’t him, and it broke him.

—

What a weekend. It was only Saturday afternoon and Anna was exhausted. After a visit from Harry last night and one from Niall today she was emotionally exhausted. Every feeling that she had been ignoring about them both came rush back to the surface. Niall broke her heart, it hurt to see him so crushed, the joy that was once behind his eyes was now dull and grey. She loved him so much, she thought that she had been moving on. Then Harry, he was bold and kissed her. The taste of Harry drove her wild and sent her body into a tailspin. She had thought about his body, his mouth and his hands all night. The selfish part of her wished that she hadn’t come to her senses and made him leave. The selfish part of her just wanted Harry. Just wanted Niall. Harry, Niall, Harry, Niall. Anna’s head was spinning with thoughts about the two different men. She needed to get out of her house. Tying up her shoes she decided to go for a run and clear her head.

—

Anna made it to the top of Primrose hill panting and gasping for air. She had been working on getting to the top of the hill for two months and it was only in the last week or so that she’d managed to get to the top without stopping. Anna put her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath. The view from the top was incredible and it was worth the amount of physical pain she was in. Anna stood back up holding her hands over her head trying to suck the air into her lungs. Her mind was clear as she watched other joggers move around the park. There was a man running up the hill towards her, his face determined as he ran up the hill. His movements fascinated her as his legs pushed forwards, his arms working in resolute strokes propelling him forward. Before she realized he’d made it to the top of the hill, much faster that she had been able to. He grinned at her as he slowed his pace and past her, and she felt her stomach flip slightly. He was very attractive. She smiled back, her breath finally returned to her before she started her descent back down the hill and back toward her house. Now was not the time to be checking other people out. She was still confused about her current situation.

—

“Tour is over!” Lou yelled into the phone on the way to the airport.

“Over over?” Anna asked in surprised.

“Completely over… Until the next one that is.” Lou clarified.

“How long have you got off?”

“Six months. Six whole months!” Lou was excited. She was finally allowed a break. It’s not that working with the band was hard; it was the best job she could have asked for. But Lux was growing up and she was exhausted from travelling so much. She needed some normalcy in her life and six months off meant that she might be able to be in a kindergarten where she could socialize with kids her own age for a change.

“What are you going to do?” Anna asked, Lou’s excitement was catching.

“I’m going to take some time and go to Brighton and spend some time there and then I am going to get Lux into a kindergarten and then…” Lou rattled off before Anna interrupted her.

“A kindergarten?”

“Yes, she needs to socialize with some kids and get into a routine. Not to mention I have no idea how far behind she is on what kids are meant to be learning.” Lou mused.

“I’m sure she’s fine. Please tell me that I am somewhere on your list of visits in your time off.” Anna smiled.

“Absolutely you are. I need a good recommendation to get Lux into your school.” Lou laughed.

“You want Lux at my school?” Anna asked surprised.

“Of course!” Lou replied.

“Well then. I’ll talk to them tomorrow about finding a place.” Anna said happily.

“I have to go. We’ve just got to the airport.” Lou said suddenly. “Only 24hours and I will be home sweet home.”

“See you soon!” Anna said excitedly before hanging up the phone.

Lou hung up and looked to Lux sitting quietly next to her playing with one of her dolls.

“Ready to go home baby?”

—

Anna waiting in the coffee shop quietly her knee bouncing nervously. She hadn’t seen Lou since their dinner a few months ago. She couldn’t wait to see her again. Six whole months she would be home, having a normal schedule. Anna’s eyes scanned over the café menu not really taking anything in, she was thinking about the past couple of months and how so much of her life had changed. How was she going to tell Lou everything that had happened?

“Anna!” Lux’s squeal broke the quiet ambience of the café as she ran toward the table.

“Hello my little Lux!” Anna stood up from the table as Lux launched herself into her arms.

“Anna!” Lou said breathlessly trying to catch up with Lux. “She took off down the street, I couldn’t catch her. She’s small but she’s quick.” Anna seated Lux in a chair before hugging Lou in greeting.

“You alright?” She asked as they both sat down.

“Fine, fine.” Lou waved her hand dismissively. “So glad to be back home.”

“Can I get your order?” A waitress interrupted.

“A babycino, a latte and…” Lou replied immediately looking over to Anna.”

“Tea, white.” Anna smiled up at her.

“So tell me what’s been happening?” Lou asked after the waitress had left.

“Nothing much.” Anna shrugged nervously.

“Well that’s clearly a lie. You’ve lost more weight, you are looking very fit.” Lou commented raising her eyebrow at her.

“Just work and running and work.” Anna mumbled.

“Anna, what is it?” Lou leant forward toward her.

“Mummy, can I have your phone?” Lux interrupted as she sat on her knees on the chair.

“Of course sweetheart.” Lou handed her the phone her attention still on Anna. Anna avoided her eye contact as she smiled at Lux.

“Anna.” Lou’s voice was low with warning.

“I’ve… erm… I’ve met someone.” Anna eventually sighed blushing brightly.

“You what?” Lou almost screeched.

“I met someone. Adam. It’s not serious or anything. We’ve had a drink a couple of times.” Anna replied quietly, the blush not leaving her cheeks.

“But what about Harry? What about Niall?” Lou was surprised.

“What about them?” Anna tried to shrug nonchalantly, but failed dismally.

“Well… they love you don’t they.” Lou answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“They can’t anymore. It’s been… what eight months. They need to move on. I’m sure they have. That’s what I am trying to do.” Anna answered still avoiding Lou’s eyes.

“Were you scared about telling me?” Lou asked concerned. Anna nodded once.

“Why love?”

“Because I know how much you love Harry and Niall. And I didn’t want to hurt them and I didn’t want to hurt you.” Anna said quietly.

“Honey, that would never hurt me. I want you to be happy.” Lou replied earnestly. “Now, tell me all about him.”

—

Lou was on her third coffee, Anna on her second cup of tea as they listened intently to Lux tell a story about Harry chasing her around the stage one afternoon and how she tricked him by hiding in the drums. Anna smiled when Lux’s face lit up when she talked about playing with Harry.

“Harry!” Lux suddenly called out in the middle of her talking about a movie that Anna hadn’t seen.

“Who is Harry?” Anna asked.

“No. Harry.” Lux giggled pointing to a man that had just entered the café.

“Harry? Oh my god. What are you doing here?” Lou asked shocked as she stood up and gathered him into a hug.

“Just came for a drink. What are the chances of seeing you two here?” Harry answered.

“Slim.” Anna replied quietly also standing up.

“Anna.” Harry grinned before extending his arms for a welcoming hug. Anna tried to hug briefly but Harry held on to her. She could feel his breath running down the back of her neck.

“Would you… would you like to join us?” Anna asked after Lou remained silent watching them.

“I don’t want to intrude.” Harry answered politely.

“Not at all.” Anna smiled briefly before sitting down again. As much as she hated to admit it, Harry still sent chills over her body.

“What’s going on with that hair?” Anna asked lightly giggling.

“What about it?” Harry asked in mock offence.

“I can’t help but think that I might be an influence.” Anna laughed flicking her hair over her shoulder.

“I haven’t got a fringe yet.” Harry laughed.

“Yet.” Anna emphasized smiling at him.

“Ha, Ha.” Harry replied sarcastically. “I dunno. I kind of like it long.” Harry shrugged. “Why do you hate it?”

“It looks fine. Just wondering what the limit is.”

“When Lou decides she’s had enough of it and shaves my head.” Harry replied laughing.

“I’m not far off that.” Lou mumbled making both Harry and Anna laugh.

Underneath the table Anna felt her foot brush against someone else’s and she moved it quickly, surprised to feel it move with her.

“Harry!” Lux suddenly shouted across the table distracting Anna.

“Yes Miss Lux.” Harry replied as if nothing had fazed him.

Lux began talking but Anna couldn’t concentrate as what she now knew as Harry’s foot stayed connected with Anna’s whenever she tried to move it. She zoned back in on the conversation as Harry was laughing dropping his hands to his lap and leaning forward.

“And then Liam fell over.” Lux collapsed into a fit of giggles. Anna flinched knocking the table as she felt Harry’s hand squeeze her knee.

“Anna!” Lou laughed as she made sure nothing fell over on the table.

“Sorry.” Anna blushed deeply, Harry’s hand didn’t move from her knee though.

—

The rest of the catch up Anna was hardly concentrating to anything that Lou or Lux was saying. Harry kept his hand on her leg sometimes rubbing small circles with his long fingers, sometimes running up her thigh making her squeeze her legs together. She tried to move her hand to her lap to push his hand off her but that resulted in him linking their fingers together and holding her hand, now rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. He was infuriating, acting like he wasn’t doing anything and managing to carry on the conversation with Lou.

“I think I need to head off.” Anna said suddenly as she finished her cup of tea.

“Already?” Lou whined while Lux looked heartbroken. Harry had a glint in his eye that meant that mischief was about to be made. He still hadn’t let go of her hand.

“It’s been four hours. I have a lesson plan that I need to put together.” Anna said bending down to retrieve her bag and seeing Harry’s legs almost entwined with hers.

“Can we have lunch this week?” Lou asked as Anna managed to untangle herself from Harry and stand up. He stood up with her.

“If you are willing to come to the school, then absolutely.” Anna smiled before looking nervously over to Harry.

“Oh yes. I have to bring Lux to show her the kindergarten room.” Lou nodded unaware of the tension between Anna and Harry.

“Ok Lux, come give me a hug.” Anna held out her arms to Lux and she jumped into them making Anna and Harry laugh.

“What about me?” Harry asked when Anna put Lux back down.

“Are you leaving as well?” Anna asked.

“Why else would I be standing up?” Harry laughed as he put Lux back in her chair.

“Of course.” Anna mumbled. “I’ll see you soon.” She waved once more at Lou and Lux before she walked out of the café hot on her heals.

“Keep me updated.” Lou called out and winked at her as the door closed behind Anna and Harry.

—

“Well… it was good seeing you.” Anna said awkwardly as she and Harry walked together slowly. Their hands kept brushing and Anna was sure that Harry was doing it on purpose to try and hold her hand. She didn’t know how she felt, except confused. She was certain of that.

“I thought I could walk you home.” Harry replied smiling down at her, like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Oh right. It’s not far.” Anna looked ahead to her house.

“Then it shouldn’t take long.” Harry answered.

“Ok.” They walked in awkward silence until they reached her house.

“Here we are.” Anna said standing on the front landing fishing her keys from her bag.

“Here we are.” Harry repeated holding his hands behind his back.

“Like I said, it was good seeing you.” Anna said quietly turning to her door to unlock it and feeling Harry’s hand on her back.

“What did Lou mean when she said ‘Keep me updated’” Harry asked curiously.

“Oh just… it’s nothing.” Anna answered nervously turning back around to him.

“What is it Anna? You can tell me.” The pressure on her back from Harry’s hand increased.

Anna sighed, “I’ve met a guy. We’ve been out for a couple of drinks. He’s nice.”

“You’ve met someone?” Harry asked lowly moving closer to her.

“What are you doing Harry?” She asked nervously turning the lock and opening the door slowly.

“Anna.” Harry murmured.

“Harry. Seriously. What the hell? All through that coffee. Didn’t your mother teach you to keep your hands to yourself.” Anna suddenly spat at him.

“She did. But Anna. I love you. I’m finding it harder and harder to keep away from you. I just want to hold your hand. I want to kiss your lips. The past few months of tour have been awful now that I know what you taste like.” Harry said slowly, his fingers moved lightly over her arms raising gooseflesh in their wake. Anna didn’t want to admit that she loved everything he said to her.

“You have no right Harry.” Her voice was shaking, both with nerves and arousal.

“Anna. Please.” Harry’s voice was rough as he linked their hands and put one of hers over his heart where she could feel it beating heavily.

“Harry.” Anna pulled away and entered her house jumping in fright when Harry followed her in and closed the door quickly behind him.

“What are you doing?” She asked breathlessly.

“Loving you.” Harry said quickly before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. Anna was too surprised to stop him and before she knew it she was running her hands through his soft hair. He turned their bodies and pushed her against the door he’d just closed, his fingers burning into her hips. Coming to her senses Anna pulled back and hit her head on the door.

“Harry, what are we doing?” She asked breathlessly.

“Showing you how much I love you. How much you mean to me.” Harry said before capturing her lips with his own once more and kissing her passionately.

“No Harry.” Anna pulled back again. “What about Adam?”

“Who is Adam?” Harry’s brows knit together on confusion before he kissed her again. Anna sighed in pleasure as he kissed her.

“Adam. The guy I was seeing.” She said trying to think clearly.

“Seriously Anna?”

This time Anna pulled his mouth back to hers eagerly.

“Niall.” She said taking a breath again.

“Stop thinking Anna. Just let this happen.” Harry kissed her again and started to move his head down along her collarbone, nipping at her skin slightly.

“Harry we can’t.” Anna’s voice was breathy and her resolve was weakening.

“Anna, if you want me to stop I will stop.” Harry looked up at her seriously wrapping his arms around her and pulling her flush against his body. With that movement Anna’s resolve was weakened and she kissed Harry with everything she had.

—

Harry groaned into the kiss. He wasn’t expecting Anna to let go; he thought she would fight him some more, but she’d let go and Harry felt the difference immediately. She worked her fingers into his hair pulling at the roots slightly as she tried to access his mouth more. Then they were playing with the hem of his shirt before they dove under his shirt and her fingers ran lightly over his taught stomach muscles.

“This needs to come off.” Anna gasped pulling back from the kiss and making quick work of the few buttons he’d had done up before pushing it from his body. Harry’s large hands moved down her back and cupped her behind pulling her closer towards him. She lightly pressed against his hardness and he shivered at the contact. Suddenly Anna pulled back from him, her lips plump and glistening.

“Are we doing this?” She asked, her eyes roaming over his chest and stomach making him wish that he worked out more.

“Only if you want to.” Harry replied trying to read her expression.

“Fair enough.” Anna answered sliding the straps of her sundress from her shoulders and letting the material pool at her feet. She was left in only her underwear and her shoes and Harry had never seen anything sexier in his life.

“Fuck me Anna.” Harry exclaimed his tongue moistening is suddenly very dry lips.

“I intend to.” She said kicking off her shoes and taking his hand leading him to her bedroom.

—

Niall’s words suddenly sprang to Harry’s mind as Anna kissed over his body. He’d removed his jeans making Anna laugh at the brief struggle with them. “She does this thing when she gives a blow job.” It was such a distant memory and Harry felt his stomach bundle with anticipation as she moved closer to him. Suddenly her hands were palming him over his straining boxes and he didn’t think that he would be able to hold on for long. This is all he’d dreamt over for almost two years. It was finally happening. He would show her how much she deserved to be loved, how much she meant to Harry. Anna nipped at Harry’s hipbone making him flinch and harden almost painfully. Carefully she peeled away the strained material allowing him to be free, his dick bounced up and Harry looked at her concerned. What if she wasn’t impressed? What if she changed her mind? Anna licked her lips once before taking his head into her mouth and moving down his length. Harry groaned loudly at the sensation. Now he knew what Niall was talking about. Her hands fondled his balls gently and he felt himself tighten, a signal that he was getting incredibly close. Slowly Anna moved back along his length until just the tip was between her perfect lips before she dove back down on him.

“Fuck Anna. If you do that again, I’m going to come.” Harry said through clenched teeth as he worked not to thrust himself up into her mouth.

“That’s the point isn’t it?” Anna asked taking her mouth off him.

“I want to make you feel good.” Harry could feel the beads of sweat starting in his hairline and she sucked on him and he felt himself twitch slightly.

“Question is, what’s your recovery time?” Anna said before moving quickly against him. Harry was right, he wasn’t going to last long and within a minute of the heat of her mouth surrounding him her came in her mouth hard. She continued to suck long after he’d finished and Harry couldn’t believe how quickly he was hardening again. Finally she sat up and wiped the sides of her mouth.

“Good recovery.” She giggled before kissing her way back up his chest. Harry’s breathing was labored but he stiffened fully as he felt her naked skin brush against him.

“May I?” He asked as she straddled his lap, his hands moving to the clips of her bra.

“Thought you’d never ask.” Anna sighed as Harry unclipped the material and removed it from her body, blushing as his eyes went wide.

“Fuck. Anna. You are perfect.” Harry’s lips attached themselves around one of her breasts and sucked harshly. He was further spurred on by the moan that escaped her lips as she unconsciously ground herself down on him. Switching breasts his hands grasped her and squeezed gently. Harry still couldn’t believe this was happening. It was better than his imagination, the heat of her body, the softness of her skin and the sharp intake of breath each time he did anything; Harry thought this couldn’t get any better. Until she leaned down and whispered softly, “I need you Harry. I need you.”

Harry flipped them quickly and discarded the final piece of material guarding her from him. He ran his fingers lightly over her heat pleased when they came back glistening.

“So ready.” He mumbled before licking his fingers clean.

Harry ran his tip over her and she shuddered in response. Slowly he pressed into her, her slick heat providing the perfect amount of friction and warmth.

“Fuuuuuu.” They both hummed in unison as they suddenly felt whole together.

“Am I ok to move?” Harry’s voice was hoarse and he was barely holding himself together.

“Yes, fucking move.” Anna groaned linking her ankles around the back of his hips and pulling him closer to her. Harry gasped before he started to move slowly, tortuously slow. Her body gipped him and milked him, the tightness and heat of her sheath melted through to his bones and his arms shook as he struggled to hold himself up. Harry grunted with pleasure, he had no idea that sex could be this good. He was completely wrapped up in her body. Connecting their lips again, he didn’t know how life got any better. This wasn’t sex, this was love and this was what Harry pouring out to the woman beneath him. Even if he had a thousand years to show her how much he loved her, he knew it wouldn’t be enough.

Anna squealed as Harry drove further into her, their pelvic bones connecting.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked breathlessly moving in slower, shallower movements.

“Fuck no. Again.” Anna gasped before Harry ground down again. She held his body so well; it was like they fit together. Did Anna know? Was Anna feeling the same?

“I love you.” Harry breathed as he continued to move.

“I…. I….” Anna’s voice rose in pitch as Harry moved deeply in her swiveling his hips slightly.

“I’m going to…” Anna didn’t finish her sentence as her walls contracted around Harry and he somehow swelled even more inside her.

“Fucking… Fuck.” Harry wrapped an arm around her waist and began to pound into her, her breath coming in short gasps.

“Anna.” Harry groaned. He was so close. He was going to come. He was going to explode. He… he wasn’t wearing a condom. Harry pulled out quickly, just in time and he finished all over her stomach and chest.

“I’m so sorry Anna.” He panted as she was painted in his release.

“It’s fine.” Anna laughed, grabbing a tissue from the side of the bed and wiping herself down.

“I just remembered I wasn’t wearing a condom.” Harry gasped for breath as he fell beside her on the bed.

“Oh right. I’m on the pill. Should have mentioned that.” Anna smiled, her cheeks flushed.

“You would have let me finish inside you?” Harry asked surprised trying to get his breathing under control.

“I don’t see why not.” Anna shrugged still grinning at him.

“You are perfect. Did you know?” Harry asked moving to cuddle Anna into his chest.

“Oh, he’s a cuddler. Who knew?” Anna giggled wiggling closer into his chest.

“There’s a lot about me you don’t know Anna.” Harry said smirking. He’d just made love to Anna. At last. For the first time in a long time, Harry finally felt complete.

His heart fluttered as he heard Anna’s breathing even out, her eyes fluttering closed, asleep in his arms.

He’d done it. Everything was going to be different now.

—

Anna woke up slowly as someone was running their tongue lightly over her collarbone. She sighed in happiness as she felt the strain of her well-worked muscles.  
Opening her eyes she saw a mop of curly brown hair tickling its way over his chest and down to her stomach.

“Harry?” Anna was confused before she was reminded why she was deliciously sore.

“Hello my love.” Harrys voice was raspy as he continued to kiss down her body.

“What’re you doing?” Anna asked watching him carefully.

“Waking you up.” He said after pausing, he’d settled comfortably between her legs, his fingers massaging circles into her thighs.

“Well I’m awake.” Anna giggled as Harry sucked on her hipbone, her body trembling slightly.

“I think you still look a little sleepy.” Harry smiled at her before he ducked between her legs and started to nip her thighs.

“Harry!” Anna squealed as his tongue tickled her and she automatically squeezed her legs together accidentally trapping his head.

“Anna, calm down” Harry laughed, his voice gravelly.

“I can’t! It tickles.” Anna was blushing bright red and she covered her eyes with her hands.

Her breath left in a huff as Harry licked a long strip along her slit.

“Oh my gosh.”

Harry licked again, separating her folds with his tongue and pulling her into his mouth.

“Harry.” Anna’s voice was shaking. Harry singled out the area of her clit and sucked harshly. Anna’s body bounced up on the bed. Harry looked up at her grinning.

“Sit still would you.” He laughed holding down her legs and attaching his mouth back to her.

Anna squealed but worked to keep her legs still as he continued to work of her. She could feel her stomach trembling as a ball of tension was created. Harry moaned against her and she felt her blush deepen as her breath caught in her throat. Harry’s fingers pressed into her skin, sure to leave bruises.

Anna didn’t know how she could be feeling any more pleasure until Harry gently slipped a single finger into her core causing her stomach to contract.

“Harry.” Anna gasped as desire assaulted her.

Harry looked up briefly, his lips glistening, a smirk on his face. “Say my name. Say it when you come.”

Anna thought that the blush on her cheeks was never going to wear off, she’d be feeling this for days.

Harry moved his fingers faster inside her while he sucked on her clit. The pressure was building and Anna couldn’t hold on any longer.

Hearing his groan and feeling the vibrations against her Anna shouted out his name as she came undone and still Harry didn’t stop. He continued to lick and suck through her orgasm slowly removing his finger from her. Looking up at her, he made eye contact as he licked his fingers clean.

“Oh my gosh Harry.” Anna covered her face with embarrassment.

“You taste delicious my love.” Harry said crawling back up her body. Anna could feel his hard length pressing against her thigh. Anna groaned with awkwardness.

“What’s wrong?” He grinned at her trying to pull her hands from her face.

“I am mortified.” Anna laughed.

“Why? Baby look at me.” Harry chuckled succeeding in pulling her hands away.

“I can’t believe that’s how you woke me up.” Anna rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“I would do that every day if I could.” Harry replied seriously.

“I don’t think I could handle that.” Anna laughed.

“I love you Anna.” Harry sighed resting his body weigh against her.

“What’s the time?” Anna asked suddenly rolling over to check her clock beside her bed.

“Erm, almost 5:30pm.” Harry glanced up looking at the clock.

Anna stretched out. “I’m meeting Adam for a drink tonight.” Anna paused before groaning. “I also haven’t done the lesson plan for the week yet.”

“Who is Adam?” Harry asked confused.

“The guy I’ve been seeing. Very casually. Just a few drinks.” Anna clarified. She didn’t like the hurt that flashed across Harry’s face.

“Then cancel it.” He said happily.

“Harry.” Anna grumbled.

“What? I’m serious.”

“Harry you can’t just fly in here and… and….” Anna was lost for words.

“What Anna?”

“I don’t know. Mix everything up. This was great and everything…” Anna didn’t want it to end but the inevitable truth was that Harry was going to go away again, whether it was two days or six months.

“Please don’t say that this was a one time thing.” Harry begged.

“What else could it be Harry.” Anna took a shuddering breath. She was about to cry and she knew it. How could she and Harry even go back to being friends again?

“This can be something Anna. Please. This can be something great.” Harry replied earnestly.

Anna shouted in laughter suddenly. “Did you just quote a song title at me?”

“What?” Harry asked confused his mouth in a small pout.

“Something Great.” Anna repeated smiling, the tension breaking a little bit.

“I… I didn’t even realize.” Harry blushed.

“It’s fine.” Anna shook her head laughing. There was a long silence between them, Harry played with Anna’s hair gently.

“I am serious Anna.” Harry sighed after a while. “We could be something.”

“Did you forget what I said the last time you were here?” Anna asked.

“I didn’t forget.” Harry shook his head. “But you won’t even give us a chance.”

“I’ve been through this Harry. I can’t do it again.”

“It will be different. I’m different Anna. I love you, does that mean nothing?”

“Of course it means something Harry. But I didn’t ask you to love me. I didn’t ask to love you.” Anna shuddered.

“That means something Anna. Please. Don’t give up on us before we’ve even begun something.” Harry pleaded with her.

“I can’t… I don’t want to make any promises Harry. I’m still just a mess of a person.” Anna shook her head.

“I’m just asking that you give me a chance.” Harry sighed.

“Ok.” Anna conceded after a long time. “But Adam gets the same chances. Anyone gets the same chances.”

“That’s all I’m asking for. However much I don’t want you to go out with this guy.” Harry sighed happily.

“Speaking of which, I need to get ready.” Anna said sitting up suddenly and running out of the room naked, a blush covering her face.

—

Anna looked stunning, she’d changed her outfit at least three times, each one needing Harry’s approval. He still thought that she was showing too much skin to a guy she barely knew but Anna had promptly told him to stop being such a granddad. The truth was, he didn’t want this Adam guy getting too attached to her. Anna was his, Harry’s, he was the one who made love to her, and he was the one that would continue to love for however long he could.

“Ok. I’m off.” Anna said picking up a leather jacket and hanging it over her arm.

“I’ll wait here shall I? Round three?” Harry raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Or you could not.” Anna rolled her eyes at him. “I told you. Same chances.”

“I know, I know. I just wish you didn’t have to look so gorgeous.” Harry conceded.

“That’s just something you’ll have to live with I’m afraid.” Anna laughed sarcastically as she shooed him out her front door.

“Can I walk you there?” Harry asked running a hand through his long hair.

“How would that look Harry? Seriously.” Anna laughed locking the door behind them.

“I know. I just don’t want to let you out of my sight. You can still cancel and I can “wake you up” again.” Harry smirked at her.

“Stop it. I’ll call you later ok.” Anna shook her head, but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her lips.

“Make sure that you do, or I will turn up again and have to remind you how much I love you.” Harry threatened playfully.

Anna scoffed and rolled her eyes again turning away from him.

“One last thing.” Harry said reaching out for her hand and pulling her back into his chest.

“I love you.” Harry murmured against her lips before kissing her.


	30. "I'm not your property"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually contains one of my favourite moments in this entire story. It just makes me laugh a little bit and I can picture it happening. Anyway. Enjoy.

Anna pulled at the hem of her shirt nervously as she entered the bar where she was meeting Adam. The afternoon’s activities were still playing strongly in her mind and she wanted to be completely focused on this date. She would give Adam a chance. He was stable, he was available, they had things in common and he ticked so many boxes. Adam should be the right choice. She saw him sitting at the bar and waved to him shyly, an untouched beer in front of him.

“Anna!” He greeted happily standing up and placing a kiss on her cheek.

“Hello!” Anna replied breathlessly… He smelled good, really good.

“What can I get you?” He asked politely as she took a seat.

“Ah… gin and tonic please.”

“Coming right up.” He smiled as he signaled one of the bar staff.

“So how have you been? Did you get your lesson plan done today? I didn’t see you at the park.” Adam asked once Anna had taken a sip of her drink.

“Oh no. I was busy. Saw a friend that I haven’t seen in a while. Thought I would skip the run today.” Anna blushed, thinking about the exercise she had partaken in.

“So no lesson plan then?” Adam chuckled missing the flush of her cheeks.

“No lesson plan.” Anna shook her head as she picked up her drink. “How about you? Weekend plans?”

Well I went for a run today. Obviously.” Adam chuckled, it was deep and throaty. “Other than that. Nothing much. Preparing for meeting you.”

“Preparing for this?” Anna laughed, “What did you wax your legs?”

“I didn’t. Should I have?” Adam laughed.

“Well I can’t imagine what else you would have been doing!” Anna continued to laugh.

“I had to pick the perfect outfit didn’t I?” Adam indicated his dark blue-checkered shirt and black jeans.

“You look smashing.” Anna complimented grinning at him.

“See. It was worth it.” Adam nodded smugly.

“Absolutely.” Anna shook her head as she took another drink.

“Not to mention you scrub up alright.” Adam said after taking a long drink of his beer.

“Oh why thank you sir.” Anna laughed lightly. “Bit different than the old running gear I guess.”

“Not to say that you don’t look good in that as well.” Adam quickly recovered, laughing when Anna raised her eyebrow at him.

“I’m just saying.” He held up his hands in defense as Anna snorted with laughter.

—

Anna was having a great time with Adam. He made her smile and sometimes laugh hysterically. He wasn’t afraid to laugh at himself and he was certainly free flowing with the compliments.

“I tell you I have never been more angry in my life.” Adam laughed as he told a story from his work.

“I can imagine.” Anna smiled.

“Anyway, enough about my work. How is school?”

“It’s fine. I think that they might want me to head the department next term for a trial.” Anna shrugged.

“That’s excellent Anna.” Adam said proudly.

“You mean excellent as in no more sleep, extra work and no pay rise. Absolutely it is indeed excellent.” Anna laughed. “Also your definition of excellent is severely misguided.”  
Adam laughed loudly placing his hand on her knee. Anna didn’t shrug him off.

“But surely it’s a step in the right direction.”

“I mean, yeah, it will certainly look good. But I’m not sure I want that yet. I’ve been there for… almost two years I think. I’m still new. Maybe I just am happy being a teacher.” Anna shrugged.

“Well that’s fine too.” Adam nodded. “Just if the opportunity is there, you may as well take it. They clearly see something in you.”

“Yeah I guess.” Anna shrugged again.

“You don’t seem too thrilled about it.” Adam noted.

“I’ve just had a really big year and I don’t have any issue with taking things slowly.” Anna sighed heavily. She didn’t want any more drama in her life, and yet, Harry had waltzed right back into her life and thrown that out the window.

“What’s wrong Anna?” Adam leaned forward tilting his head toward her.

“Nothing.” Anna shook her head lightly.

“Anna. I know that we’ve only just starting seeing each other, but you wear all your emotions on your face.” Adam laughed lightly and ran a finger lightly down her cheek before tilting her chin towards him.

“There’s just a lot going on.” Anna hummed looking into his blue eyes.

“You are very beautiful Anna.” Adam moved closer toward her.

“You are…” Anna was lost for words as Adam placed a very light kiss on her lips. Adam pulled back quickly, suddenly unsure if he was doing the right thing. Anna smiled at him. She didn’t feel anything like when she kissed Harry or Niall. There was nothing. Skin touching skin and nothing more. Kissing Niall was like flames licking at her skin, she couldn’t get enough of the way that he kissed her. It had been so long but still she remembered their every touch. Harry was like travelling on a rollercoaster or a hot air balloon. Her stomach flipped and dropped with every swipe of his tongue. She clearly remembered how far her stomach had dropped the first time their lips touched. But with Adam, there was nothing. Maybe it was the bar, maybe it wasn’t enough to go on, maybe it was too quick, maybe she’d been too enveloped on thoughts of Harry, or maybe… it just wasn’t meant to be.

—

Harry wandered aimlessly through his house. He still smelt like Anna and he didn’t want to wash it off. Every action was running back through his head; every touch, every kiss, every time his stomach flushed and contracted with pleasure, he remembered it all. And now, now she was out with another man, “giving everyone the same chance”. Maybe they wouldn’t hit it off, maybe she loved Harry back, maybe she would call him tonight. He should take her out tomorrow- on a proper date. He would show her that it wasn’t just about sex. That he loved her, that he didn’t mind being seen with her. He would show her how loved she deserved to be. Harry checked his phone again hoping to see a message from her, but still there was nothing. There were a few unanswered messages from Louis that he really should respond to, but he was still just waiting on Anna.

—

Anna had woken up early and was sitting on her living room floor planning out the week’s lesson at long last. She’d put it off so many times, but now she was finally going to get it done. She was going to forget about Adam, Harry and even Niall and she was going to get this finished. She was up to Thursday, on the homestretch when there was a knock on her front door. Anna pushed the papers off her lap and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

“Niall?” She said surprised opening the door.

“Hi Anna.” He said brightly.

“Hi.” She replied equally as confused.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to go for breakfast.” Niall said shyly.

“Oh.” Anna checked her watch. It was 9am. It was a perfectly acceptable time for breakfast. She should have a break from her lesson plan anyway.

“Unless you don’t want to.” Niall hesitated. “Sorry. I should have called. I was just passing by…” There was no way that Niall was just “passing by” but Anna nodded in understanding anyway.

“No sorry. I mean, yes I would love to.” Anna huffed at her social awkwardness, “What I mean to say is, come in and I will get changed.”

Niall smiled widely as he stepped inside.

“I was just doing a lesson plan for this week.” Anna called out from the bedroom as she threw a dress over her head.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She heard Niall reply.

“Oh not at all.” Anna said appearing in the doorway. “I could use the break.” She saw the blush appear on Niall’s cheeks as he looked her over.

“What’s wrong?” She asked looking down at what she was wearing, making sure everything was in place.

“Nothing.” Niall mumbled smiling at her.

“Is there something on my face?” Anna asked automatically rubbing her cheeks.

“No. No. Sorry. It’s just…” Niall hesitated, like he was nervous. “You just look really good.”

“Oh.” Anna felt her cheeks heat up. “Should we go?” She asked trying to distract from the awkward tension that hung over them.

“Yes. Breakfast. Lets go.” Niall looked relieved as they headed out into the Sunday sun.

—

“So Theo learnt a curse word.” Niall said after swallowing his food.

“Really? Where’d he learn that?” Anna asked surprised.

“Fuck knows.” Niall replied and Anna nearly spat her food on the table with laughter.

“Thought that might make you laugh.” Niall grinned.

“Idiot.” Anna shook her head.

The breakfast was going well. Anna was relaxed, it had so much potential to be awkward but it was like they’d taken a step back in time to when they were just friends. Anna remembered how much she missed Niall, not as a boyfriend, although that certainly wasn’t far from her mind, but as he friend, that listened to her, that made her laugh, that put no pressure on her. She missed Niall.

She didn’t know why she said it, she didn’t know why she let the words slip past her lips but the atmosphere immediately changed.

“I miss you Niall.” 

He paused, watching her carefully, the piece of food he was about to put in his mouth, forgotten.

“I miss you too.” He said swallowing heavily.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Anna could feel her blush rushing from the top of her head down to her toes.

“Is it true?” He asked quietly putting down his fork and wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Anna nodded.

“Don’t apologize for telling me the truth Anna.” Niall smiled at her, his cheeks tinted red slightly and soon the awkwardness was forgotten as he launched into a story about tour.

—

“So I’ve seen a few stories about your wild ways.” Anna raised her eyebrow at him smiling as the waiter took away the empty plates. She could see Niall’s face pale.

“It’s fine Niall. Really.” She tried to comfort him, seeing the stress behind his eyes.

“Yeah I mean. I’ve been out a bit.” He mumbled.

“What?” Anna asked trying to catch his gaze again.

“I mean…” Niall shrugged.

“What Niall? It’s fine for you to be going out.” Anna suddenly wished she hadn’t brought it up. She was saying so many things wrong. She didn’t want this to be awkward between them. She just wanted to catch up with him, instead she just kept saying the wrong things.

“Yeah I know. We broke up.” Niall stated clearly.

“Yes.” Anna agreed, now she was wishing that the ground would swallow her whole.

“I mean. I went out. I met people. I drank. You can’t get angry at me.” Niall tried to defend himself.

“Niall. It’s fine. Why would I be angry with you?” Anna was confused, her instincts told her to reach across the table and take his hand in her own, but right now, that might not be the best idea.

“Because…” Niall sighed heavily running a hand over his face with anxiety. “Because I slept with someone else.”

Anna didn’t have any reason to have her stomach drop like it did. She’d slept with Harry just yesterday, she had no reason to feel jealous about Niall being with someone else.

“Oh.” She heard the sound come out of her mouth, but she didn’t authorize her mouth to say it.

“I mean. We were broken up Anna. I was drunk.” Niall explained quickly.

“Niall you don’t have to explain anything to me.” Anna cut him off. “Really.” She emphasized.

“Anna…” She could see him struggling to say anything.

“Niall. It’s ok.” She tried to sound as convincing as possible. She had no reason to be upset. “So, is there a special someone?”

“What?” Niall looked shocked.

“Well I mean. You’ve been out, we aren’t together…” Anna listed.

“No, not at all.” Niall denied vehemently

“Oh. I just thought…” Anna didn’t know what she thought.

“No Anna.” Niall tried to smile at her but it was forced.

“It’s fine Niall. Really it is.” Anna replied. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“I mean… ah.” Niall ran a hand over his face in frustration. “It hasn’t… I still…” Niall trailed off trying to think of the words he needed to say.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” Anna shook her head, not sure she wanted to hear what he was trying to say.

“What I’m trying to say Anna is… it’s been a long time, but it doesn’t change the way that I feel about you.” He said quickly.

“Niall.” Anna sighed.

“No Anna. I need to say it. I’m sorry. But I really need to. You might have moved on and that’s ok. But I haven’t. Every time I look at you I remember how special you are. Every time you smile, every time you laugh. I know it’s not the same anymore. But nothing’s changed for me.” Niall’s eyes were melting into Anna’s heart. She hadn’t forgotten how much she loved Niall, but she also knew how she felt about Harry.

“Sorry.” Niall said quietly after they sat in silence for a long time.

“It’s okay.” Anna smiled sadly at him.

“So what about you? Anyone special?” He asked brightly trying to change the mood.

“Uh. I met a guy, but I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere.” Anna sighed.

“Why do you think that?” Niall asked curiously.

“It seems that my previous boyfriend set some pretty high expectations.” Anna smiled at him, pleased to see him grin back.

“So have you… have you been with anyone…I mean it’s none of my business.” Niall suddenly blushed.

“Oh.” Harry’s face flashed into her mind. “Uh, well.” How on earth was she meant to tell Niall that she’d slept with his best friend yesterday? Goodness, was it only yesterday?

“Um excuse me?” A voice to Anna’s left interrupted them. There was a teenager, maybe 15 or 16 standing nervously beside them.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt. I was just… I was just wondering.” She stuttered nervously. “Could I get a picture?” She blushed bright red looking between Anna and Niall.

“Of course.” Niall said kindly smiling and standing up next to her.

“Do you mind?” The girl held out her phone to Anna who happily took it and snapped a few photos.

“Thank you so much. This means so much to me. Thank you so much.” The girl repeated as she said goodbye, her smile spreading from ear to ear.

“I can’t believe that’s the first time I’ve experienced that with you.” Anna hummed watching the girl skip out of the restaurant.

“What do you mean?” Niall asked as he sat back down opposite her.

“I mean, I’ve been out with Harry when he’s gotten asked for photos, but not with you. We were so private.” Anna shifted her focus back to Niall.

“I just wanted to protect you.” Niall replied shyly.

“I know. It’s just funny isn’t it? The first time that happens and we aren’t even dating.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Funny.” Niall was picking at his fingers. “Are you finished?” He asked quickly.

“Uh, yeah. Did you want to go?” Anna asked surprised.

“If you want?” Niall shrugged. His mood had changed.

“Yeah we can.” Anna wiped her mouth with her napkin one last time before she stood up.

“Excuse me?” A young voice asked from beside Niall. “Could I get a photo?” It was then that Anna noticed the crowd of people that had assembled out the front of the restaurant.

“Oh my.” Anna gasped, they were here for Niall. She was with him, this had never happened before, even with Harry.

“Sure.” Niall smiled a tight-lipped smile while Anna took a photo of them. Now she understood the change of mood.

“Ready?” Niall asked after he waved goodbye to the young girl.

“Uh. How… how do we…?” Anna asked pointing to the crowd.

“You’ll be safe with me. Just take my hand.” Niall held out his hand to her and Anna had no hesitation in taking it. His warm fingers wrapped her hand up and it felt completely normal. She felt calm and at home.

“Come on.” Niall smiled at her and it was the first time that he looked completely relaxed since he’d shown up on his doorstep that morning, and there was a crowd of people outside trying to get a picture of him.

—

Anna shut her door behind Niall. They had made it out of the restaurant. Niall smiling and taking a few photos as Anna kept her head down. She didn’t mind Niall taking photos with fans; it was part of his job, just not one that she had experienced before. So many people were saying his name, and thanking him. While completely surreal for Anna, it gave her a glimpse of how much Niall meant to people that didn’t even know him.

“Are you ok?” Niall asked suddenly turning around to her.

“I’m fine.” Anna answered truthfully.

“I know that it can be weird. I just want to make sure you are ok.” Niall repeated.

“Yeah. Completely fine.” Anna paused. “You are very loved.”

“They don’t really know me.” Niall shrugged.

“More than you know I think.” Anna hummed as she kicked off her shoes.

“I’m sorry that happened.” Niall sounded sheepish

“You don’t need to be sorry at all.” Anna shook her head smiling at him.

“I was so careful when we were dating to protect you, then something like this happens.” Niall huffed.

“Honestly Niall. I can see your brain stressing you out. It’s fine. I’m fine. We’re fine.” Anna turned her head to a knock at her door. Niall looked up, concern across his face.

“Were we followed?” He sounded worried.

“I’m sure it’s fine.” Anna comforted taking his hand and giving it a quick squeeze before she opened the door.

“Harry?”

“Anna!”

“Harry?” Niall asked surprised.

“Niall?” Harry was equally surprised.

“Anna?” Niall looked to Anna, looking for an explanation.

“Niall.” Anna shrugged her shoulders looking between them both.

“Anna.” Harry called her attention back to him.

“Harry.” Anna was confused. What was Harry doing here? “Would… you… what are you…” Anna stumbled over her words. Not sure what she was meant to say.

“What are you doing here mate?” Niall asked somewhat aggressively.

“Came to see Anna didn’t I?” Harry replied sarcastically.

“Obviously.” Niall grumbled.

Anna was confused, embarrassed, she didn’t know what she was meant to do. Her ex-boyfriend on one side, his band mate, brother, best friend, the man she’d slept with yesterday on the other. She’d worked so hard to avoid this situation and she’d just dug herself more permanently into it. What was wrong with her? The awkward silence hung over their heads as Anna looked helplessly between them both.

“You look nice.” Harry finally said to Anna.

“Course she does. She always does.” Niall replied gruffly before Anna could say anything. Clearly there were still some issues between them both when it came to Anna. The months she’d tried to avoid them, to get them to clear the air between them had done nothing.

“I was just saying Niall. No need to bite me head off.” Harry sighed. Again awkward silence hung between the three of them.

“Anna?” A new voice joined the mix as Adam jogged up the steps, still in his running gear.

“Adam!” Could this get any worse? Anna wanted the carpet beneath her feet to swallow her whole.

Adam looked between the two men standing either side of Anna.

“Holy shit. You’re Harry Styles.” He said surprised.

“The one and only.” Harry sighed rolling his eyes slightly, only Anna saw.

“And, shit Niall Horan.” Adam was shocked.

“Adam.” Anna interrupted before Niall could say anything. “This is Niall and Harry. Niall, Harry, this is Adam.” Anna introduced.

“Lovely to meet you.” Adam ever the gentlemen shook both of their hands, ignoring their reluctance to be polite to the complete stranger.

“No idea you were such a socialite.” Adam joked.

“She’s not.” Both Niall and Harry said bitingly in unison.

Again the awkward silence was back, now spreading across the four of them.

“What can I do for you Adam?” Anna finally asked.

“Oh. You weren’t out running this morning. Just thought I’d pop by and see if you were ok after last night.” He replied smiling kindly at her.

“Oh right. I had some school work to do.” Anna answered.

“Lesson plan almost done?” Adam smiled, ignoring the scathing looks from both Niall and Harry.

“Almost.” Anna grinned at him. “Um. Then Niall popped by so we had some breakfast and caught up.” Anna smiled backwards at Niall. His face was stony and his cheeks tinted red slightly.

“So how do you… know each other?” Adam asked kindly.

“I’m her boyfriend.” Niall answered immediately, Adam’s face fell.

“Ex-boyfriend.” Anna corrected, frowning at Niall and Adam’s face brightened. “It’s been a while so we were catching up.” Anna tried to lighten the mood.

“So I imagine you two met through Niall.” Adam indicated between Harry and Anna. Harry scoffed loudly.

“Ah, actually. We have a mutual friend and so I sort of met them… together.” Anna narrowed her eyes at Harry.

“No idea you knew celebrities.” Adam smiled, obviously trying to compliment them.

“We aren’t celebrities.” Harry sighed.

“Oh right. You’re just…” Adam didn’t know what to say.

“Tools. They’re being tools right now.” Anna mumbled under her breath surprised to hear Niall laugh behind her.

“Well. I just wanted to see if you were ok.” Adam said awkwardly.

“Fine.” Anna smiled at him.

“OK. Great. Cool. Ok. Well. It was nice meeting you both.” He said politely. Both Harry and Niall only nodded in response.

“Anna. I’ll see you around. Running tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you at the top.” Anna nodded and waved goodbye as he jogged away.

“Dick” Harry mumbled while Niall mumbled “Douche” as Adam left.

Once Adam was out of earshot Anna rounded on both the boys.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She asked angrily.

“What?” They both asked innocently making Anna want to crack their skulls together.

“Could you have been any ruder to him?”

Harry shrugged, clearly not caring.

“I mean Anna. He obviously wants you.” Niall said quietly.

“I should hope so. We went on a date last night.” Anna was angry, not caring about Niall’s heart broken face.

“He’s coming round to check on you because you don’t go running for one day.” Niall pointed out.

“Yeah, that’s nothing at all like you both just turning up on my door step assuming that I am free, or that there’s something wrong with me. Yeah what he’s doing is completely strange.” Anna replied sarcastically.

“Anna, we have a history.” Niall was sheepish again.

“And you don’t know what the history I have with him.” Anna shot back.

“Yeah but Anna…” Harry began.

“No. No buts. I can’t be treated like this by both of you.”

“Like what?” Harry asked his face as broken as Niall’s.

“Like… like I’m your property, that you have some kind of right over me. I am a grown woman. I am allowed to see who I want, date who I want. You don’t have any ownership over me.” Anna answered angrily. “You both think that you can just roll back into my life and I’ll just fall at your feet. I have a life. It doesn’t revolve around you both.” Anna took a deep breath trying to calm herself, it didn’t work. “It was nice seeing you, great catching up Niall, but I need you to go. Both of you.”

“Anna.” Niall’s voice was breaking.

“No Niall. I can’t. I really can’t right now.” Anna rubbed her temple with a headache that was starting.

“But Anna. I lo…” Anna cut Niall off.

“For the love of all things that are holy, don’t you dare say you love me right now. I won’t feel guilty for taking care of myself and taking time apart from two people that think that they know what is better for me than I do.”

“Anna it’s just because we care about you.” Harry said quietly.

“Seriously Harry. Get out. Just get out both of here.” Anna was starting tear up. She was an angry crier. She hated that cried when she was angry and right now she was close to snapping.

“Anna. Baby.” Niall took a step towards her.

“Get out. Just get out.” The tears were brimming at her eyes.

“Anna…” Harry’s voice was concerned; she couldn’t look at him right now.

“Are you deaf! Get out!” Anna finally yelled making both Harry and Niall jump.

“I’m sorry.” Harry and Niall both said before the tears finally made their way down Anna’s cheeks and she slammed the door after them. She slid down onto the floor and really started crying. Why was she so in love with these two stupid jerks?

—

Harry could hear Anna cry behind the closed door. It was the same cry that had him running to her house in the middle of the night after her grandmother had passed and his heart broke even more. He shouldn’t have been so rude to Adam, he knew that, it was just that the desire was written all over his stupid face and Anna was so blind to it. Then she’d been there with Niall. The reason Harry had rushed over to her house so quickly was because the photos of her and Niall were exploding across the internet. They were holding hands, they looked like a couple again and Harry couldn’t be broken like that again. She said that she was give him a chance and he couldn’t believe that after yesterday she would just straight away be back with Niall. He was hurt. Harry just wanted to see her and show her again how much he could love her. How great he could make her feel, how great he made her feel. She couldn’t be back with Niall. Not after what they’d shared yesterday. So he didn’t think when he decided to go to her house unannounced. He didn’t know if Niall was going to be there. If he was, Harry was hoping to interrupt. He was hoping that Anna would see him again and she would remember him. But that had all backfired now and he’d left her alone, crying.

Was it true what she said? That they treated her like that? Like she sat around waiting for them, that they knew best, that they had control over her? Did she really think that? Harry only wanted what was best for her and he was convinced that it could be his love for her.

—

“What were you doing there?” Niall finally asked as they both made their way slowly down her front steps.

“I told you. To see Anna.” Harry replied shortly.

“Yeah but why?” Niall pressed.

“You know why Niall. Do I really need to say it?” Harry sighed digging his hands into his jean pockets.

“You know I’m not over her Harry.” Niall said coldly.

“And neither am I.” Harry shrugged.

“She was my girlfriend Harry. I love her.”

“That didn’t stop you from bedding several women though did it?” Harry knew he shouldn’t have said anything, but the words were out of his mouth before he had a thought to stop them.

“Fuck you mate.” Niall replied disgusted. “Like you’re completely innocent.”

“I didn’t take any women home Niall.” Harry denied.

“I was fucking plastered and you know that.” Niall defended.

“Didn’t stop me.”

Niall rounded on Harry. “So what? You have some right over her do you?”

“No.” Harry said his voice low and rough stopping in the street. “I think she made it pretty clear that neither of us do.”

“Back off Harry. She loved me before, she’ll love me again.” Niall’s cheeks were flushed.

“You’re sure about that? Did you tell her how many?” Harry taunted.

“She knows.” Niall hesitated.

“Didn’t think so.” Harry shook his head and moved to continue to walk to his car that he’d parked a few streets away before Niall blocked him.

“Don’t be a prick Harry.”

“I’m not. It’s up to her what she wants to do. I love her Niall. I know you hate to hear that. But I do. I’m going to do whatever she asks of me.” Harry pushed past his friend unlocking his car and climbing in. Niall watched him pull away from the curb before shaking his head and making his way over to his own car.

—

“HARRY FUCKING STYLES!” Lou’s voice bellowed down the phone. “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?”

“What? What?” Harry asked confused holding the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he chopped some carrots.

“Anna called me.” Lou’s voice was softer. “She’s a mess. You don’t think she’d gone through enough to then have you and Niall bombard her like that.”

Harry nearly dropped the phone. She’d spoken to Lou, of course she would. She needed to talk to someone. Harry realized the sinking feeling in his stomach was because usually Anna would call him to talk things out.

“We didn’t mean to.” Harry defended putting down the knife and holding the phone properly.

“You didn’t mean to! You didn’t… Harry you idiot.” Lou sighed heavily into the phone. “She’s worked for months, MONTHS, to move on from you two tossers and then in one weekend you undo everything.” Lou was angry. She was extremely protective over her friends, and Anna she treated like a sister.

“I love her Lou.” It was the only thing Harry could think of to say.

“I don’t care if you fucking love her or not. You’re killing her.” Lou sighed.

“What do you mean?” Harry could feel the blood flush from his face.

“You come back and just expect her to jump into your arms, like you haven’t just been gone for the past eight months. You just come back with these expectations on her. She’s just one person Harry. Have you thought about what it’s like in her shoes? You go away for months at a time and then burst in and expect everything to be exactly the same as how you left it.” Lou tried explaining, Harry could tell she was working to keep her voice even as she spoke.

“And it’s not the same. Her life kept going for eight months. She worked, she met people, she tried dating, and she tried moving on. Time for her doesn’t just freeze because you aren’t around.”

“I never said it did.” Harry swallowed heavily.

“No but you act like it. You live in this bubble, not know about the world going on outside that. It’s not your fault love, it’s tour, and it’s part of being in a band. But you forget that everyone else’s life keeps going on without you. The sun is the center of our universe. Not you sweetheart.” Harry could picture Lou running her hands over her face in stress.

“I hope you are going to give Niall this same smack down that you are giving me Lou.” Harry huffed.

“Don’t you worry about what I talk to Niall about. This is between you and Anna.” Lou replied. “If you really love her Harry, maybe start treating her like a person, than a… than a… mannequin. Remember that she has a whole life that you aren’t part of.”

“But I want to be part of that life.” Harry answered.

“Then pull your head out of your arse and start acting like it.”

“How?” Harry was lost, he knew that he could love her, but he had no idea how.

“Firstly, stop just showing up at her house and expecting her to be free. Second, act like the damn friend you think that you are. Third, listen to her. At least try to listen to her more than you listen to me.” Lou listed off.

“Ok Lou. Tell her I’m sorry for today.” Harry sighed nodding. He knew that Lou was right.

“Tell her yourself knob head.” Lou snorted.

“She doesn’t want to talk to me.” Harry mumbled looking around at his kitchen.

“No, she doesn’t want you turning up at her house. Try using ANY OTHER FORM of communication with her. Try checking if she can make time for you rather than assuming that she will.”

“Right. Yeah. Ok.” Harry nodded eagerly.

“I can’t believe I am telling you dating advice 101.” Lou sighed heavily.

“Thanks Lou.” Harry said smiling.

“For what?”

“Introducing us in the first place.” Harry grinned.

“Honestly I thought that you two would date, not her and Niall. You’re so similar. Then you went with that twat Kelly. I’m surprised Anna’s giving you a chance at all.” Lou hummed.

“She’s giving me a chance?” Harry asked surprised.

“Oh course she is Harry. She loves you doesn’t she? That’s why it hurts her so much.”


	31. "You just look nice is all"

The kids ran out of the room as the lunch bell rang. It was coming to the end of another term, another school year and Anna was yet to give the Principal an answer about heading the department. She looked up to a knock on her door.

“Lou!” Anna stood up from the desk.

“Hello Miss Brent.” Lou grinned looking around the classroom.

“Why hello.” Anna smiled. “Where’s Miss Lux?”

“Taking a tour of the kindergarten. I told her I was coming to see you, but she seems to have taken quite a bit to the teacher in there. Mrs…”

“Mrs. O.” Anna smiled. “I don’t blame her. She’s a wonderful teacher.”

“Can you have lunch?” Lou asked her eyes skimming the empty classroom.

“I actually have a meeting with the Principal.” Anna apologized.

“Something I should be concerned about?” Lou furrowed her eyebrows.

“Oh. No. Not at all. Just about heading a department next year.” Anna shrugged.

“You didn’t tell me about that!” Lou accused crossing her arms.

“There’s kind of been a lot going on.” Anna laughed.

“That’s fair.” Lou smiled. “Ok. I’ll go get Lux. She starts in the New Year, for five whole months. I can’t believe she gets to be a normal kid for five whole months.” Lou sighed happily.

“I know. You get to be a normal person for five months. You get to see how boring it is from the other side.” Anna laughed as she made her way to the office with Lou.

“I could use a bit of boring.” Lou chuckled.

“So could I actually.” Anna shook her head.

“Are you going to take the position?” Lou asked as they neared the office.

“I still don’t know. I’m going to talk to John about it. He thinks I can do it. But I don’t know if I’m ready. Maybe I should just do what I know.”

“That’s not very adventurous.” Lou raised her eyebrows.

“I can’t handle my personal life right now. How am I going to handle a whole department?” Anna sighed heavily.

“Yeah, but you don’t know how to do a personal life. There’s no handbook for that love. But teaching. You know teaching. It’s different.” Lou said stopping at the office door.

“I just feel so tired all of the time. I don’t know if I can do it.” The worries in Anna’s mind continued to spin.

“You need a break. Thank goodness you get one soon.” Lou crossed her arms across her chest.

“One month if I take the job really.” Anna rubbed her temples.

“Well then. Don’t accept. I want to spend time with you being normal people. I don’t accept that you will have another month of work.” Lou said brightly.

“Fair enough. I’ll call you later yeah.” Anna shook her head grinning at Lou as she entered the office.

“Yes. I have things I need to talk to you about.” Lou nodded waving once.

“What things?” Anna stuck her head back out the door.

“More… person than things.” Lou laughed seeing the confused look on Anna’s face as she walked away.

—

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Anna asked sitting opposite Lou. Lux was long ago put to bed and snoring loudly. Anna had Lou’s words running around in her head all day. ‘More… person than things.’

“What?” Lou asked confused.

Anna repeated her words back to her.

“Oh right that.” Lou chuckled.

“Want to stall more?” Anna rolled her eyes.

“Well. I just don’t know how you are going to react is all.” Lou said shyly. Anna was immediately concerned. Lou was hardly ever shy. Now that she was, Anna was worried.

“Spit it out or I’ll have a heart attack.” Anna said.

“Fine.” Lou huffed. “I… I think that you should date Harry.”

A long pause hung over the two of them as Anna’s jaw dropped.

“Um.” It was the only sound Anna could make.

“I see how great you are together. I see how much he loves you. He makes you happy and he’s always been there for you. I think that you should go on a date with him.” Lou explained.

“Have you forgotten the phone call from two weeks ago where I was spitting venom about Harry and Niall?” Anna asked shocked.

“I haven’t forgotten. It was that phone call that made up my mind about it.” Lou shook her head.

“What on earth about me crying about how they bombarded me made you think ‘They’d make a great couple’?” Anna was aghast.

“It was the way you spoke about Harry actually. I know that you love him Anna.” Lou said seriously.

“I…” Anna didn’t know what to say.

“Anna it’s ok.” Lou smiled at her.

“It’s not Lou. It’s really not.” Anna shook her head.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

“Niall.” Anna answered simply.

—

Niall had denied the request too many times for him to go out and look like he was having a great time on his break. Now it wasn’t a request, it was a demand. After the photos of Anna and him had surfaced from the breakfast they’d shared, Niall was put under more pressure to prove that he was single. Management hadn’t had an issue with him being in a relationship before, but that’s because it was private. Now that it looked public that he was off the market, their PR firm was scrambling. So with a heavy heart, Niall shrugged on a jacket and left the solitude of his house so that he could be seen.

—

Niall wasn’t sure how many drinks he’d had at this point. All he knew was that absolutely everything was hilarious to him. The girls that tried to dance with him, the girls that took photos with him. The girls. Everything about them was hilarious to him. Suddenly a familiar voice broke through the shouts of everyone around him.

“Niall.” He couldn’t believe it. Hannah was standing in front of him. She’d dyed her hair from the red it had once been to a darker brown, almost like Anna’s but a few shades off.

“Your hair.” Niall laughed as he hugged her.

“Thought I’d mix it up.” She shrugged her eyes blinking quickly at him.

“Youalright?” Niall asked his words running together.

“Fine now that I see you’re here.” Hannah eyes stopped flickering at him.

“Drink?” He motioned to her. She nodded enthusiastically and he took her hand leading her to the bar.

—

It was several more drinks in. Niall had forgotten why he was out. He’d all but forgotten his own name. He just knew that the woman that was dancing so close to him, whispering seductively into his ear was turning him on. His hands ran up and down her body as they moved and her moans echoed into his ear.

“Should we get out of here?” She whispered before sucking on his ear lobe softly. Niall nodded eagerly his brain trying to catch up with the quick movements of his head making him extraordinarily dizzy.

The two bodies stumbled out of the club, there were bright lights surrounding Niall and someone grabbing his upper arm directing him. He held onto his partners’ hand before she swung around and kissed him passionately. Through Niall’s drunken haze he saw the chestnut brown hair and kissed Anna back eagerly. Now would be a greater time than any to declare his love for this woman. He’d kept her in the shadows for their whole relationship, but now that she was back in his arms, he wouldn’t hide her any more.

“I lovesssis woman.” Niall heard his drunken voice in his own ears. “Lovesomush.” He started to laugh as whomever had the strong grip on his arm pulled him into the car. Anna immediately attached her mouth to his when she sat in the car and Niall all too eagerly kissed her back. It had been so long since he’d kissed her. Something felt off and different. Her kissing pattern seemed different, but Niall somewhere in his mind he knew that he was pretty drunk, so with no further thought, they made their way back to his apartment, where they could continue their reunion.

—

Anna couldn’t believe the article that she was reading. There was a photo of her and Niall from the breakfast they’d shared and immediately next to it a very drunken Niall holding the hand of none other than Hannah. She’d dyed her hair and tanned her skin but Anna still recognized her. Niall was quoted as declaring his drunken love for her before getting into a steamy make out session in the back of a private cab. Anna recognized one of Niall’s bodyguards Shaun in the front of the car. There was no denying it was Niall. There was no denying their lip lock. Anna shook her head at the article. He looked drunk. He and Anna weren’t together. It was over. She didn’t need to feel jealous about this. She shouldn’t. It wasn’t her place. He’d moved on. She’d broken it off. He’d moved on. A few short days ago he was repeating his love for her. But he’d moved on. He’d moved on. He’d moved on. Anna kept repeating it to herself. She’d seen Adam a few more times, but things weren’t progressing and Adam was moving from potential boyfriend to potential boy… friend. Niall had moved on. She could too.

—

Niall woke up with a splitting hang over, but luckily in his own apartment. He didn’t remember anything from last night. Nothing at all, from the first drink to the last, it was completely blank. Niall nearly screamed as a woman emerged from his en-suite.

“Jeeze Hannah. What the hell are you doing here?” He said holding a hand to his head and heart.

“You don’t remember?” She asked sitting on the edge of the bed. She was wearing one of his shirts. Niall couldn’t help but think it didn’t look anywhere near as good as when Anna wore one. When would he stop comparing other women to Anna?

“I remember… nothing.” Niall shook his head. “You dyed your hair.” He squinted up at her. It was a few shades off Anna’s if he was honest.

“Funny. That’s what you said to me last night.” Hannah climbed across the bed until she was straddling his lap.

“What are you doing?” Niall asked confused as she leaned down to kiss him.

“Reminding you of last night.” Hannah kissed him gently. Niall pulled away quickly and hit his already pounding head against the bed head.

“We didn’t… we…. We didn’t.” He indicated between them. He knew the answer before he’d even asked, but he still needed the confirmation.

Hannah bit her bottom lip and nodded at him.

“We did.” Niall confirmed dumbfounded.

“You made quite a scene.” Hannah laughed reaching across the bed to collect her phone. Tapping on it a few times she brought up a video and showed it to Niall. He was clutching Hannah’s hand tightly confirming that he loved her, albeit very drunkly, before they started to make out in front of everyone.

Niall’s stomach dropped, and it wasn’t from the epic hangover.

“I was very drunk Hannah.” Niall’s voice was hoarse.

“I know. I know Niall.” Hannah laughed lightly. “I know you don’t love me.”

“No I mean. I was really drunk. I shouldn’t have… we shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.” Niall stuttered.

“Niall. It’s me. It’s Hannah. Lets go get something to eat and clear away this awful hangover and we can talk like adults.” She smiled at him.

“Yeah. Yeah. Ok.” Niall looked around the room nervously. “Do y’mind looking away while I get dressed?”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before Niall.” Hannah laughed studying him.

“Yeah… but through drunk eyes.” Niall gulped.

Hannah shrugged and bent down to pick up some of her own clothes. “Whatever you say. I’ve got a pretty good memory though.”

—

Hannah had pulled on some clothes that she’d found in the apartment. Niall stopped short as he saw her waiting for her.

“That’s… um… those are Anna’s.” He said quietly. The shirt was a little too tight for her, but the jeans seemed to fit ok.

“No wonder. Was she anorexic?” Hannah laughed.

“No.” Niall shook his head.

“Well she was tiny anyway.” Hannah shrugged it off. The clothes didn’t quite fit Hannah like they did Anna.

“I just didn’t want to go out in last nights clothes. Walk of shame and all.”

“Yeah. No, of course. Yeah. Should we go?” Niall picked up his sunglasses and a cap, anything to protect his sensitive eyes today.

—

Hannah grabbed Niall’s hand as they walked and Niall felt too rude to drop it. She seemed quite content and he didn’t want to ruin that.

“Should we sit outside?” Hannah asked as they approached a café.

“Whatever.” Niall shrugged immediately pulling up a chair and falling into it.

A waitress arrived almost instantly and took their orders. Niall looked around at his surroundings. They were near Primrose Hill, Anna had told him about how she wanted to be able to run to the top of the hill without loosing her breath and Niall had laughed about how he would like to walk to the top without loosing his breath. Niall had inhaled three glasses of water by the time the food came and he settled in hungrily.

\---

Niall swore he heard Anna’s laughter as some heavy footsteps approached from behind him.

“You cheated.” He would recognize that voice anywhere.

“I did not.” A male voice answered laughing, it was somehow familiar.

“You got a head start.” Anna’s voice replied happily.

“And yet you caught up.” The male scoffed.

“Never underestimate my awesomeness.” Anna laughed; it was then that Niall saw her. She was wearing jogging clothes, her hair pulled back into a high ponytail. He really only saw the back of her as she walked past him into the café, but he would recognize her anywhere, especially in such form fitting clothing. He then saw the guy that he recognized as Adam follow her into the café laughing about something, also in exercise gear.

“Was that…?” Hannah asked in a hushed voice.

“Who?” Niall tried to play clueless.

“Your ex?” She whispered harshly.

“Maybe. I didn’t see.” Niall shrugged trying to ignore his beating heart. If Anna had seen the article, the video and then him sitting here with Hannah, she was wearing her clothes… Niall couldn’t imagine a worse scenario to see her in.

“Still no coffee?” Adam exited the café after a while with a take away cup in his hands.

“No I went back on it and it made me more tired. I guess I’m too English.” Anna laughed; her cheeks were flushed from exercising.

“Do you need a scone and jam and cream?” Adam shoved her slightly.

“Shut up.” Anna pushed him back and Niall’s stomach knotted with jealously.

“Anna?” Hannah’s voice suddenly said loudly. Niall felt the colour drain from his face as Anna turned toward their table.

“Hannah?” She asked nervously.

“Yeah. How lovely to see you!” Hannah said brightly. Niall wanted to turn invisible.

“You too. What are you doing in London?” Anna asked politely. Maybe she hadn’t seen the article. Maybe it was ok for Niall to show his face.

“Oh you know. Catching up.” Hannah indicated Niall.

“Niall?” Anna asked curiously.

“Hi Anna.” He mumbled sheepishly.

“I think I did see something about you being back in town, now that I think about it.” Anna said her steely gaze directed at Niall.

“Oh really?” Hannah raised an eyebrow at her.

“How are you feeling Niall? I heard you had quite a night.” Anna’s voice lacked the warmth that she usually directed at Niall. She knew about last night. She’d seen the article. She’d seen the video.

“Bit of a wild one really.” Niall mumbled.

“So I saw.” Anna hummed.

“You remember Adam of course.” Anna indicated to the man standing beside her.

“Of course. Good to see you again.” Niall nodded, his eyes still hidden behind his glasses. Niall was a complete contrast to Adam this morning. While Niall sat hunched, hung over and horrible, Adam stood like a greek god, his skin slightly glistening from sweat, his hair stylishly pulled back under a cap.

“We’ve just been out running.” Anna said happily looking up at him.

“Oh.” Niall didn’t know what to say.

“She’s a gun this one. Made it to the top of the hill and hardly broke a sweat.” Adam said proudly.

“Yeah I broke about 30.” Anna laughed lightly. Niall felt his stomach lift at her laugh. He used to make her laugh like that.

“Not at all.” Adam disagreed smiling at her.

“That’s really great Anna.” Niall smiled at her and he saw her smile falter as she looked back at him.

“Well we are interrupting your breakfast. We should head off.” Anna said suddenly. “It was nice seeing you again Hannah. You two love birds enjoy your catch up.” Anna nodded once before walking away with Adam. She had definitely seen the articles.

“Still as rude as ever.” Hannah murmured.

“What’s that?” Niall asked, not quite hearing her properly as he concentrated on Anna’s retreating form as she laughed loudly at something Adam said.

“She just always talks about herself.” Hannah shrugged. Niall suddenly got a flash back of a dinner with Harry, Kelly and, Anna and himself. Kelly had said almost the same thing and Niall had wanted to leave immediately after. He got the same taste of metal in his mouth as he did all those months ago.

What was he doing? Something in his mind was telling him to run after Anna, but with his body aching after the night of drinking he couldn’t make it move or keep up with his racing thoughts and instead he watched the woman that he loved walk away. Again.

—

By the time Niall and Hannah had returned back to his apartment, a few fans had seen them and soon the word spread where he was and paparazzi had shown up, asking questioning about the previous night. Niall kept his head down, not wanting to speak to anyone, while Hannah had smiled and waved at the fans.

“So now James works in his fathers grocery shop. He had big dreams to be a famous architect or something and now he’s just working in a shop. I think him and Quinn will get married soon.” Hannah chatted about their schoolmates while Niall unlocked the door and entered the house.

“Where are you staying?” Niall asked interrupting her next story.

“Oh. Some hotel in the city. I can’t remember the name. Anyway, Fiona…”

“Do you want to get your stuff together and I can drop you off?” Niall asked interrupting her again.

“I thought that we could catch up.” Hannah replied quietly.

“I just really need to sleep at the moment Hannah.” Niall sighed. “And I’d prefer knowing you got back to your place safely.”

“I don’t mind staying here.” The corner of Hannah’s mouth twitched in a smile.

“Oh.” Niall scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Or I guess you can take me home.” Hannah said quietly.

“Great. Ok.” Niall brightened. He was terrible at handling awkward situations.

“I’ll er… I’ll get my stuff.” Hannah hesitated before she left Niall standing in his living room.

Niall checked his phone. There was no message from Anna, he didn’t expect there to be, but he was still hoping.

“It wasn’t what it looked like.” He sent the message to Anna. Sighing he put the phone back in his pocket and looked up as Hannah walked back to him, her dress and shoes in her arms.

—

Anna stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her soaking body. This, in Anna’s opinion, was the best part about going for a run: The shower after. Her body felt relaxed, her muscles tired and her mind clear. Drying off her body Anna stretched out her taught muscles and dressed into loose house clothing. She wasn’t intending to leave the house for the rest of the day. It was Saturday, it was her day off, she was going to relax. It was strange seeing Niall out with Hannah this morning, but she was hardly surprised. She was sure that she owned the same pair of jeans that Hannah was wearing and had a shirt that looked almost the same but it didn’t bother her too much. Anna noted that she’d dyed her hair and the paranoid part of Anna felt like Hannah was trying to be like her, but she knew that it was a ridiculous thought and she pushed it from her mind. It had seemed like Niall had happily moved on. Anna was hurt that it was with Hannah, the woman that he’d kissed when they were still together, but it wasn’t her place anymore. If Hannah and Niall wanted to be together, they should be together. It wouldn’t affect Anna at all. Niall had moved on, so should Anna.

—

Anna pulled her damp hair into a bun; this was the only bad time about having a fringe. It stuck to her forehead when she ran or had a shower. Anna took an apple from her fridge and lay down on the couch biting into it unlocked her phone, seeing two unread messages.

Anna opened one the messages surprised to see it was from Niall.

‘It wasn’t what it looked like.’ Anna’s fingers hovered over the letters on her phone. What was she meant to reply with? It shouldn’t mean anything to Anna if it was something or not. It was just was.

Anna decided to ignore the message and continued to eat her apple as she opened up the next message. It was from Harry.

“Did you know the largest snowflake ever recorded was about 15 inches across?” Anna laughed at the message.

“I didn’t. Did you know that female kangaroos have three vaginas?” Anna replied after looking around for a strange fact on the Internet.

Anna finished her apple while she waited for Harry to reply. She was still thinking about what Lou said, that Anna and Harry should go on a date. She did tell Harry that she would give him a chance and they’d spoken a few times since the awful situation between Niall, Harry and Adam. If she was to start something with Harry, he had to know where she stood with him. That she was her own person, that Harry didn’t have a right to her like he thought that he did. He’d definitely backed off a lot since she’d yelled at them, as had Niall to be fair. They both gave her space and only sent her a text message occasionally. Anna was snapped out of her thoughts as her phone lit up with a new text message.

“What are you teaching your students?” Harry’s reply made her smile.

“All the necessary facts of life.” Anna replied.

“Mine was child friendly at least.” Harry’s reply came almost instantly.

“I’ll be sure to tell the first child I see.” Anna rolled her eyes. She liked this kind of back and forth with Harry. It was easy, simple, it made her happy, there was no weight behind it and she didn’t worry about what it could mean.

“Good thank you.” She could imagine Harry nodding at his phone.

“You are most welcome.” Anna replied smiling. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to go on a date with Harry. Would it be so different from how they were now? Would it really change anything?

“What are you doing tonight?” And there it was. The message that made Anna hold her breath briefly. He was doing it. He was putting the ball into her court. Now was the moment that she needed to decide what she wanted her and Harry to be. He could just be being friendly but Anna knew that there was deeper meaning. At least he wasn’t just showing up at her door and expecting her to be free. She could make up an excuse; say that she was already busy. She wasn’t, she was completely free. She was actually thinking about calling Lou and seeing if she wanted a night out, but she knew that if she did that now, Harry would have spoken to Lou and Lou would tell Anna that she should be going out with Harry.

“Not sure yet.” Anna replied vaguely. She could still turn him down. But did she really want to?

“Ed’s in town. Got a concert tonight. Want to go?” Harry’s reply made her stomach flip. Was it a date? Was it just seeing a friend of Harry’s? Anna hadn’t met Ed yet, she hadn’t met a lot of Harry’s friends. Why would she? It wasn’t like they’d dated. Should she clarify if it was a date? Were they just going as friends? Was she over thinking this? She knew the answer to that. Yes. Of course she was.

“Sounds great. What time?” Anna pressed send before she could second-guess her decision.

“Concert’s at 7. I can pick you up at 6?” Harry’s reply was fast, as if he had been holding his phone in anticipation of her reply.

“Splendid. See you at 6.” Anna sent the message and checked the time. It was just past one, where had her day gone? She sat up from the couch and stretched. She should have shaved her legs in the shower, but she didn’t think she was doing anything today.

Putting her apple core into the bin in her kitchen she entered the shower again, this time to prepare for a night out.

—

Anna had fallen asleep on the couch after shaving and scrubbing her body down. She woke up again at five freaking out. She hurriedly did her make up and hair. She still had heaps of time but if there was the possibility of being seen with Harry tonight she wanted to look her best. Secretly she just wanted to look good for Harry, but she would never say that out loud. Wiggling into some black skinny jeans she rolled her eyes at her own desperation to shave her legs. What was the point if she just covered them up anyway? She knew the answer to that as well but she again, would never admit it out loud. Throwing on a red-checkered button up shirt Anna was putting on some black wedge ankle boots as she heard a knock on the door. Checking her reflection in the mirror once more she opened the door to see Harry smiling happily at her. He looked… for want of a better word, hot. He just looked hot. His shirt hung open and his jeans looked like they were painted on his legs. As skinny as Anna’s jeans were she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get away with what could basically be leggings like Harry could. That was an exaggeration but the jeans were incredibly tight.

“Hi.” Anna breathed as Harry smiled at her.

“Hi.” He grinned blushing slightly. “You look great.”

“Thanks, you too.” Anna could feel the unwanted flush in her cheeks and hoped that at least her make up dulled the embarrassment.

“I’ll just grab a bag and we can go.” Anna turned around and trotted around her house picking up lipstick, her phone and money and throwing it into a clutch.

“Ok.” She said breathlessly as she greeted Harry back at the door.

“What?” She asked seeing Harry’s face watch her carefully.

“It’s nothing.” Harry shook his head standing back for Anna to walk past him.

“What?” Anna repeated smiling. Harry looked like he’d been caught trying to steal the last cookie from the cookie jar. Guilty but still pleased.

“You just look nice is all.” He said opening the passenger door for her before going around to his own side. Anna knew that the blush was showing on her cheeks this time, no amount of make up was going to cover that.


	32. “It’s just us now, will you remember me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem... smut ahoy...

The concert was in full swing, the crowd cheering wildly while Ed sung to them. Harry and Anna stood up on a balcony looking down at the stage. It was quiet if you discounted the screaming fans from below. Anna was quite content, smiling whenever Harry sung along with Ed, sometimes harmonizing, sometimes just humming along. He didn’t have his arm around her, they weren’t holding hands, maybe it wasn’t a date, maybe he just wanted to hang out with her like old times. Anna didn’t mind she was enjoying herself regardless.

“This next one is a new one.” Ed’s voice rung out through the concert hall, echoing slightly. People were screaming out his name mixed with songs they wanted to hear. “It’s called ‘Will you remember me’.” The crowd went wild, Anna assumed that they had been pleading for the song for a while; it was hard to know when all the screams blended together.

Surprisingly everyone hushed when Ed began to strum his guitar. Anna was unfamiliar with the song and was amazed that everyone had gone almost silent aside from a few cheers and screams here and there.

“My heart is your hands, please don’t drop it.” Ed’s voice echoed as he strummed his guitar softly.

“This could be a rollercoaster, we go up, we go down. Don’t let go of me.” The song mesmerized Anna as Ed sang with such conviction, Anna couldn’t pull her eyes away from the man standing lonesome center stage.

“It’s just us now, will you remember me? At the end, when it’s all said and done, will you remember me?” The fans cheered and hushed again as he kept singing.

“We’ve got a lot to go through, we hardly know where we’ve been, will you remember me?” Anna was swaying slightly and was surprised when Harry put his arm around her hips and pulled her to him. He moved slowly with her and dropped a kiss to shoulder. Anna drew her attention away from the stage to glance up at Harry. His eyes were almost glowing as he smiled at her.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He said it quietly but Anna still heard every syllable. She was glad that it was dark so that he couldn’t see the blush that was once again spreading across her face.

“You said it was the end, but you still remember me. You were done, but you still remember me.” Anna felt Harry’s grip on her hip tighten as Ed sang. Apparently this was a date.

“So now here, at the end of all things, I still remember you. Will you remember me?” Ed strummed the last chord of the song and the crowd went absolutely wild, but Anna didn’t notice that. She didn’t notice that the song had finished and that lights were being shone across the whole crowd highlighting them, she didn’t notice Ed starting a new song, all she saw was Harry staring down at her like she was the only person in the world, holding her like he was afraid to let go. Without thinking Anna raised herself on her tiptoes slightly and pressed a kiss against his surprised lips before lowering herself again and grinning at him. He happily smiled back at her and she moved so that she was wrapped properly in his arms as they continued to watch the show.

—

“Would it be corny if I asked you to dance?” Harry said lowly into Anna’s ear as Ed sang a song that had been a huge hit for him a few years back.  
Anna twisted slightly in Harry’s arms.

“Incredibly corny yes.” She laughed as she felt him chuckle with her.

“Well I’m nothing if not corny. Would you like to dance?” Harry moved Anna so that they stood chest to chest.

“No.” Anna shook head her nose scrunching up.

“Took bad.” Harry grinned and started to make them move together anyway. It was a slow song, something about love and time, Anna didn’t care, she was too wrapped up in Harry.

—

All too soon the concert ended and Harry was grabbing her hand leading her through some corridors.

“Where’re we going?” Anna asked breathlessly as Harry pulled her along.

“Trying to miss the crowd and thought we could go say hi to Ed.” Harry grinned as they continued to walk.

“How do you know where you’re going?” Anna asked as it felt like they ran through a maze.

“Played here a couple of times.” Harry shrugged as he stopped outside a door.

“Course you have.” Anna scoffed quietly also stopping with him.

“What?” Harry grinned as he knocked on the door.

“I just forget you’re a musician sometimes.” Anna replied as the door swung open and a burly looking man nodded at Harry before they entered.

“You forget?” Harry asked clearly not believing her.

“Sometimes.” Anna shrugged looking around the room. It looked like a dressing room, a few guitars in the corner and a table bursting with food in another.

“How… how?” Harry was dumbfounded.

“I don’t know.” Anna shrugged again. She looked up to see Harry’s incredulous face. She sighed. “I don’t know, I guess it’s just because I know you and you aren’t all famous to me. You’re just dorky Harry to me.” She explained.

“Dorky Harry?” Incredulous Harry was back.

“At least it’s not ‘Harry the Dick’ or something.”

“That’s what I should be thankful for? Why not Harry the Charming? Harry the Handsome?” Harry started to list off new names.

“As soon as you become either of them, that is what I shall call you. For now, you are my Dorky Harry.” Anna grinned.

“Your Dorky Harry.” He hummed. Anna immediately felt herself blush. She shouldn’t have said that. “I like it.” Harry smiled as the door opened again and a very sweaty and giddy Ed entered the room.

“Harry!” Ed yelled excitedly, his volume not quite matching the hushed voices of the room. “You came!”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Harry smiled back, not letting go of Anna’s hand.

“And you brought someone.” Ed’s voice was still extremely loud as he noticed Anna.

“This is Anna.” Harry introduced.

“Anna. I have heard way too much about you. It’s great to finally meet you.” Ed said happily his cheeks extremely rosy.

“Too much about me?” Anna queried looking between and excitable Ed and an embarrassed Harry.

“The good, the bad, the ugly, I’ve heard it all.” He replied joyfully.

“Was there much ugly?” Anna could feel her palms becoming sweaty with nerves.

“So much. Almost too much.” Ed exaggerated.

“What was the ratio of good to bad to ugly?” Anna was trying to relax, trying to play along but there was a part of what Ed was saying that his home to Anna. She hadn’t treated both Niall and Harry the best and now here was Ed who knew everything.

“Maybe 98:1:1.” Ed replied seeing the nerves in Anna’s eyes. “But I think Harry was lying about the Bad and the Ugly. There’s no way you could be any of those things.” Ed laughed loudly making Anna smile.

“I assure you. It’s there.” She mumbled but Ed didn’t seem to have heard her.

“You heading out?” He directed at Harry. Harry squeezed Anna’s hand and she looked up and smiled at him.

“I guess so.” He shrugged.

“Good!” Ed clapped his hands together. “The night is young, I’m on adrenaline and not nearly drunk enough. Let me shower and I’ll meet you somewhere?”

Anna faded out of the plans as she thought about her ‘good, bad and ugly’. It was all definitely there. She wasn’t a saint, she’d made mistakes. She’d hurt Harry; she’d hurt Niall, even Lou with her stupid actions and inability to handle things properly. Anna was snapped out of her thoughts as she and Harry drove through the busy streets of London.

“You ok Anna?” Harry reached across the console to hold her hand and give her a light squeeze.

“Fine.” She tried to smile back, but it was forced.

“Do you not want to go out? I can cancel with Ed. Was it Ed? Did he say something?” Harry questioned.

“No. No. It’s fine. I’m fine.” Anna shook her head and tried smiling again.

“Anna. I can tell when you are lying to me. You are terrible at it.” Harry smiled slightly.

“Just… Ugh. Ok. So Ed was talking about ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’ and I just can’t help thinking… I can’t help knowing that there is more bad and ugly with me than there is good.” Harry made a noise as if he wanted to interrupt but Anna ignored him.

“And I just wonder, why you would keep wanting to talk to me, want to be with me after the things that I’ve put you through. I know that I’m over thinking things. That we aren’t together or anything, this is us just out. I don’t want to hurt you Harry. I really don’t. I’ve been so selfish and I am so scared that if I hurt you again… there’s going to be a limit. There’s only so much you can take… I know that I’m going to push that. I’m not… I’m not good Harry. I’m bad and I’m ugly.” Anna rambled. She didn’t notice that Harry had pulled over and parked the car.

“Are you done?” Harry asked after a silence settled in the car.

“Is this the part where you run out of the car and never look back?” Anna asked playing with her fingernails. She didn’t want to look Harry in the eye.

“Far from it.” Harry laughed. “Anna…. Anna look at me.” Anna slowly raised her head.

“I don’t think you know how long I’ve liked you. I just got you. I’m not letting go.”

Anna smiled at him.

“Trust me when I say you are so much more good than you know.” Harry smiled at her.

“Harry.” Anna started to disagree with him.

“Anna. I don’t think you understand. I love you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Anna sat quietly in the car thinking.

“Are you sure?” She was still scared.

Harry nodded bashfully.

“Ok. Ok. I’m not going to over think this. I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for love.” Harry replied happily opening his car door and jumping out of the car.

“Ready?” He asked opening her door and helping her out.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Anna smiled and linked their fingers together. She didn’t want to let him go.

—

Ed continued to pass drinks around to the group, Anna had no idea where he kept getting them from, but they didn’t seem to be stopping any time soon.

“ONE MORE!” He yelled over the noisy club as he handed Anna a shot.

“Ed I can’t!” Anna laughed loudly as she accepted the drink.

“Live a little Anna!” He said before shooting back his own drink. Shaking her head she shot the burning liquid down her throat. She’d lost Harry a while ago, saying he was going to the bathroom, or the bar, or for some air, she couldn’t remember.

“DANCE?” Ed shouted wiping some stray liquid from his mouth and motioning to Anna.

She hardly knew him but she was having more fun than she’d had in a long time. She nodded eagerly and he helped her up from the couch that they were sitting on. Ed held her hand as they made their way to the dance floor when they started to play the Spice Girls. To Anna’s surprise Ed jumped up and down with excitement and started singing along pulling Anna to him and dancing with flamboyant ridiculous moves.

Anna sang along as well giggling as she watched Ed stumble around the dance floor, soon the music changed to a song that she didn’t recognize but Ed pulled her into his arms and marched her around the dance floor. Ed was extremely similar to Harry, especially on the dance floor. His arms waved around madly and he shook his head wildly, Anna could help but laugh as she watched him. Suddenly Anna felt some warm hands wrap around her waist, Anna was ready to slap them off until she heard Harry’s drunken voice whisper in her ear.

“Say Ohhhh baaaabyyyy.”

Anna laughed and turned in his arms slowly swaying in his arms, completely out of time to the music around them, her arms resting around his shoulders.

“Oh baaaaaby.” Anna tilted her head back dragging out the words.

“Fuck you’re hot.” Harry mumbled before kissing her neck softly. Harry and Anna started to speed up their movements, matching the tempo of the music, Harry pulling Anna tightly against his own body. They moved well together, he seemed to know what she wanted to do before she did it. His hand greedily moved over her body trying to touch ever inch he could.

“Should we get out of here?” He asked his voice low as his lips brushed over her ear.

“Absolutely.” Anna gasped, she could feel pressure in his jeans and she was fairly certain it wasn’t his belt.

“ED WE’RE GOING!” Harry yelled over the noise of the crowd. Harry shrugged when he received no response from Ed as he kept dancing.

“Ah, I’ll call him tomorrow.” Harry slurred keeping a giggling Anna under his arm. “Lets get out of here.” He kissed her quickly on the lips before taking her hand and pulling her through the throng of moving, sweaty bodies around them. Harry stopped a few times to take some photos with people and Anna tried to blend into the crowd and not draw too much attention to herself. That, as it turned out, was all in vain as they were met with hundreds of camera flashes as they exited the club. Anna out of instinct tried to drop Harry’s hand but he kept a firm grip on her. Anna couldn’t help the grin on her lips as he held onto her tightly and tried to keep her out of the camera’s eyes.

Someone was driving Harry’s car, Anna didn’t care who it was, all she knew was that Harry’s hand was on her thigh and his lips attached to her neck.

—

Harry slammed the door shut to his house making Anna jump in fright.

“Jeeze!” She clutched her beating heart and laughed.

“Sorry. I always forget that I don’t need to slam it.” Harry laughed.

“Why… what… why would you need to slam it?” Anna laughed moving to sit on one of his massive lounge room couches.

“At mum’s house, the door always swells or something, the wood. I don’t know. So you always need to slam it to make it shut.” Harry stumbled towards the couches, tripping over his own feet making Anna laugh.

“You’re Mum’s in Cheshire. You’re in London.” Anna pointed out pulling her shoes off and resting backward on the couch.

“’S all the same.” Harry grinned watching Anna.

“You’re funny.” Anna sighed curling up to watch him pull off his boots.

“And you are very fit.” Harry grinned kicking off his second shoe and moving towards her slowly.

“I’ve been running.” Anna giggled watching his movements.

“Not what I meant.” Harry shook his head grinning at her.

“I know. I don’t take compliments well.” Anna squirmed as Harry ran hand lightly around her hips, pulling her shirt slightly to expose some skin.

“Get used to it, because you are beautiful, perfect, magnificent.” Harry listed off.

“Shut up.” Anna blushed moving so that she was lying back on the couch, enjoying Harry’s hands on her skin.

“Not until you believe me.” Harry blanketed her body and pushed the material up a little bit more. Harry nuzzled his way into Anna’s neck, his hair tickling her face making her giggle. Her giggle abruptly stopped when his lips attached to her neck and sucked lightly.

“Harry.” Anna’s voice was more breathy than she liked and she could feel him stiffen against her thigh. She could feel Harry mouth move slowly up her chin before attaching to her mouth. He gently sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and bit down slightly. Anna wasn’t expecting that to feel good, but she was pleasantly surprised. Anna ran her fingers through this long curly hair; she bent her knees and one of Harry’s hands automatically moved from her thigh to her calf and back again. Harry gently swiped his tongue against her lips and Anna’s parted automatically. His tongue gently played with hers before he moved back to her neck, sucking and biting her softly. Anna curled her body into his pleased to hear him huff out a breath of desire. One of Harry’s hands brushed against Anna ribs and he gently rocked his hips against her. Anna pulled away from Harry, or at least as much as she could, pressed into the cushions of the couch as she was.

“What’s wrong?” Harry brows furrowed in confusion.

“Nothing.” Anna smiled shaking her head. “Could you remove your shirt?” Anna blushed as she said it.

“Why are you blushing?” Harry laughed as he slid the material from his shoulders after undoing the final few buttons. Anna’s laugh was abruptly caught in her throat as she looked over Harry’s chest.

“Like the view?” Harry shimmied at her playfully.

“Just admiring.” She grinned.

“Mind if I have a peak?” He asked raising his eyebrows at her.

“But of course sir.” Anna agreed moving her hands to undo the buttons.

“Allow me.” Harry’s hands gently ran up her thighs and sides before he started to undo the buttons slowly. Anna could feel her chest rising and falling at every button. Harry had the patience that Anna did not. She would have ripped the shirt from her given the choice. Harry seemed to be enjoying himself as his eyes grew wide, pupils dilating as her body was slowly revealed to him. Soon enough Anna wiggled her arms free of the shirt and threw it across the room.

“Eager?” Harry raised an eyebrow at her. His eyes roamed over her body, a flush rising up his neck.

“You are so beautiful.” His fingers gently traced her ribs and moved to her hips squeezing slightly. “Also, I like this.” Harry’s thumb ran along the underside over her bra.

“You do?” Anna asked clearly confused.

Harry nodded, biting his bottom lips as he continued to look over the woman beneath him.

“It’s a bra?” Anna stated raising an eyebrow at him.

“It’s a nice bra.” Harry grinned before bending back down to kiss along her collarbones.

Anna arched her back into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her closely into his bare chest. The heat from Harry’s skin radiated through Anna’s body as she kissed him, this time taking control from Harry. Anna’s fingernails gently scratched his back, pleased to hear him moan lightly in response.

“Not to be forward, but I need to get these jeans off.” Harry laughed lifting his body from Anna.

“Good idea.” Anna grinned, her whole body was burning up. She just wanted to be with Harry. He set her body alight, she felt in control, she felt loved, she felt beautiful and she wanted Harry to feel the same.

“You sure?” Harry questioned already undoing his belt.

“No stopping now.” Anna laughed watching his fumbling hands. “What some help with that?” Anna asked as Harry’s shaking hands got the better of him.

“Sorry. I’m just… I’m just…” Harry said embarrassed.

“Excited?” Anna suggested as she ran her hands up his thighs.

“Little bit.” Harry mumbled his cheeks tinting red.

“Good.” Anna grinned running her hand lightly over his obvious budge before moving to his buttons and undoing them quickly.

“You’ve done this before.” Harry grinned wiggling out of the tight fabric.

“Once or twice.” Anna laughed as he struggled with the material.

“Is it always this hard?”

“What’s that?” Harry smirked as he finally kicked the jeans across the room.

“Your jeans idiot.” Anna replied shaking her head and laughing.

“Not usually.” Harry smiled as he regained his position on the couch before moving his hands to her jeans.

A high-pitched giggle left Anna’s mouth as Harry swiftly worked the material off her body.

“That was easier than I expected.” Harry said surprised throwing her jeans behind him. Anna heard something fall off a table.

“What was that?” She asked sitting up.

“I don’t know.” Harry grinned kissing her neck. “I don’t care.” His hummed into her skin and pulled her against him.

“I love you so much Anna.” He mumbled into her skin. Anna pulled away.

“Harry.”

“I know. I know you can’t say it back. There’s just moments that we have. Like right now. I’m reminded how much I love you.” Harry's green eyes bore into hers.

“Ok. As long as you know.” Anna smiled bashfully.

“I do.” Harry nodded. “Let me love you.” Anna chuckled.

“You are so corny.”

“I am who I am.” Harry agreed before he kissed her again.

Harry was cradling Anna in his arms his hips moving of their own accord as they pushed against her. There was still a fine piece of material separating them and it was driving Harry crazy. He was just worshiping her body the best way he knew how. He’d paid attention to her entire body aside from the one part he was dying to taste again. Ever since he’d woken her up by tasting her pure essence his memory had been driving him wild and he needed to have her again. Licking down her body and tasting the sweet salt of her body as it sweat with desire for him. Harry nibbled on her hipbones while she slightly drove her body upwards to his mouth. There was a fine piece of lace cloth between Harry and what was driving him crazy and he couldn’t handle it any more. Slowly and delicately he removed the cloth, pulling it gently down her legs. Her body was so smooth, Harry stopped to place a few kisses on her calf and on her inner thigh before he moved down to settle between her legs, faced with her glistening heat. Slowly, tentatively he gently traced his tongue up her slit. Anna’s breath left in a huff when his tongue made contact with her. The heat from her body blazed into Harry’s mouth as he went back with more force. She tasted just as good as he remembered. Salty, sweet, feminine, he didn’t know what it was, but it was addictive. Slowly Harry entered one of his middle fingers into her deepest area, his stomach tensing as her body gripped him. He sucked harder finding small bud, surprised when she sat up suddenly pulling away from him.

“Need you.” She panted, her face flushed. Harry was only too happy to oblige as he extracted his finger slowly from her and pulled down his boxers.

“Are you still on the pill?” He asked kissing his way back up her body.

“Absolutely. Let me ride you.” She breathed. Harry halted stunned. He couldn’t think of anything better and soon was lying underneath Anna as she gently lowered herself down on him. Harry’s entire body ignited in flames as she moved her hips slowly in a circle before picking herself up and plunging back down on him. Harry groaned loudly, it was a guttural moan that reverberated in his chest as she continued to move.

“Fuck!” Harry yelled and she repeated the action. His hands moved to her breasts, his thumbs grazing over the stiff peaks of her nipples. Her body moved faster and faster against him and soon he was meeting each thrust with his own body, driving himself deeper and deeper into her.

“Anna.” He breathed concentrating on her face, watching her expression with each contraction of her body around his.

“Anna.” He called her attention again. She looked down as she ground down onto him. “I can’t hold it.” Harry felt like he was going to explode and the thought of him coating her insides, no barrier, no need to pull out was causing his stomach to tighten even further.

“Hold it Harry, please.” Anna begged breathlessly as he twitched inside her.

“I just need…” Anna’s voice shook as she started to come undone, her thighs shaking with pressure. Harry felt her walls constrict and held him to her as he emptied into her. He could feel the moisture and friction increase as he moved and he continued to spill into her. Her breathless and exhausted body fell against his chest as he slowed his movements.

“Holy shit Anna.” Harry breathed placing a kiss against her sweaty brow.

“Harry. That was…” Anna tried to think of a word to describe how she felt.

“I know. I love you so much.” Harry sighed in contentment.

“Harry I… I…” Anna was interrupted by the front door opening and slamming closed when I woman called out Harry’s name.

“Shit.” Harry whispered pulling out of Anna carefully and gulping as the mix of their liquids dribbled down her leg.

“Who?” Anna was silenced as Harry threw a blanket over her body and sat up on the couch, the blanket covering his own body.

“Gem.” He said nervously.

“Hey.” She sighed finding him. “You ok Harry?” She asked looking concerned, seeing the flush and sweat on his forehead.

“Yeah. Can you go wait in the kitchen?” He asked his heart bounding.

“What’s wrong, are you sick?” Gemma asked taking a step toward him.

“No!” Harry shouted holding up his hand to stop her.

“What are you doing?” Gemma laughed. It was then that Anna popped her head up over the couch making Harry blush deep, deep red.

“Hi Gemma.” Anna squeaked out.

“Anna. Shit. Shit. I’m sorry. Shit. I’ll erm… I’ll be in the kitchen then. Shit. Sorry.” Gemma’s face lit up but immediately dropped when she realized the situation she’d walked into. 

She stumbled out of the room while Anna fell back on the couch giggling uncontrollably.

“I had no idea she was coming over. Shit. It’s three o’clock in the bloody morning.” Harry was extremely embarrassed, but also ridiculously pleased that Gemma hadn’t interrupted five minutes ago.

“It’s fine.” Anna sighed trying to stop the giggle from passing her lips.

“It’s not. Shit. I’m so sorry. Are you ok?” Harry held her face in his hands.

“I’m fine. Throw me some clothes would you?” Anna shook her head laughing before pressing a kiss against his lips. Harry grinned at her standing up and searching around the room looking for her clothes and throwing what he could find at her. He finally found his jeans and pulled them up his legs quickly, without his boxers.

“Harry.” Anna whispered desperately getting his attention.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered back rushing over the couch.

“I just… um. I need something to clean up…” Anna motioned over her legs where her and Harry’s essences were meshing together.

“Right.” Harry looked around the room frantically.

“Just toss me your boxers or something.” Anna laughed.

“Yes!” Harry said excitedly and found them under a pillow that had fallen in their recent activities. Anna put her shirt and bra back on as Harry tenderly wiped down her legs, making her flinch when his knuckle accidently brushed against her sensitive heat.

“Sorry.” He whispered as Anna pulled on the rest of her clothing and stood up.

“Should we go see your sister?” Anna grinned holding his hand tightly.

“I’m going to die of embarrassment.” Harry ran a hand over his face.

“What else are sisters for then?” Anna asked pulling him into the room she knew to be his kitchen.

—

“Anna.” Gemma looked up from the cup of tea she was nursing between her hands.

“Hi Gemma. Good to see you again.” Anna greeted bravely while Harry hung behind her.

“Harry.” Gemma smirked at him before picking up the mug and taking a sip. Her eyes were trained on her brother.

“Well… I’m never sitting on that couch again.” She said after Harry’s long silence. Anna started laughing while Harry somehow turned a deeper shade of red.

“What are you doing here?” Harry groaned, Anna snuck under his arm and put her arms around his waist.

“I can’t come and visit my baby brother on a whim?” Gemma mocked offence.

“It’s three o’clock in the bloody morning.” Harry pointed out leaning into Anna’s embrace.

Gemma nodded sadly looking at her mug.

“Gem, what’s up?” Harry asked concerned.

“Christian and I had another fight.” She said sadly. “It will be fine. It always is. But I just needed a break for a bit.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Harry asked his brows knit together.

“Not right now. Maybe in the morning.” Gemma sighed. “I think there’s been enough drama for one night.”

“If you need to talk, I can go home.” Anna suggested.

“No!” Both Harry and Gemma replied in unison.

“It’s fine really. I just needed to get out of the house. Mind if I stay in the guest room?” Gemma asked standing up from the bench, her mug in her hand.

“It’s your room Gemma.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“I know. I just didn’t want to interrupt if you were going to continue… and I don’t want to hear it.” Gemma smirked at the two of them.

“Oh shut up. Go to bed.” Harry groaned pulling Anna into his bare chest.

“Bout time.” Gemma murmured as she passed them, making Anna swallow hard.

“Night.” She sang out as she reached the stairs.

“Oh my gosh.” Harry groaned, “I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life!” He held Anna gently against him.

“Really? Not even when that one photo was released?” Anna asked raising an eyebrow.

“What photo?” Harry asked confused.

“Oh just little Harry making an appearance.” Anna giggled.

“That wasn’t me and you know it!” Harry defended shocked.

“You sure about that?” Anna laughed.

“Definitely. Lets go to bed.” Harry kissed her on the forehead before they made their way to Harry’s bedroom.

—

“Can I borrow some clothes?” Anna asked sitting on the huge bed.

“Sorted.” Harry replied throwing a shirt at her.

“Thanks.” Anna stripped quickly throwing the long shirt over her head.

“Do you want a shower?” Harry asked turning around, surprised that she was already dressed.

“Are you offering?” Anna tried wiggling her eyebrows at him but it was ruined with the yawn that passed her lips.

“Maybe in the morning.” Harry hummed smiling at her.

“Just need to wash my face.” Anna smiled moving past him to the en-suite.

“There’s a tooth brush in the cabinet.” Harry called out as he stripped himself of his skinny jeans.

—

Soon they were lying tangled up in each other in Harry’s extremely comfortable, extremely expensive sheets.

“Anna?” Harry’s voice was low as she traced patterns against his chest.

“Hmm?” She hummed sleepily.

“Before Gemma came in, you were about to say something.”

“Was I?” Anna yawned.

“Yeah. What was it?” Harry pressed. He was sure he knew what it was; he just needed to hear her say it. He needed to hear it from her mouth, her voice, her words. Anna’s hand stilled against his chest.

“Anna?” Harry tilted his chin to look at her.

Her soft breath fanned across his bare chest as she snored quietly deep asleep. Harry was sure that she was going to say that she loved him. He was convinced of it. Would she still feel the same in the morning?


	33. "They are my words to say, and maybe one day, they’ll be yours too."

Harry stretched out on his bed, his body was tired and sore and he knew exactly why. Feeling out across the sheets his eyes shot open as he realized that Anna wasn’t in the bed. She wouldn’t have left, would she? Not after last night, not after she nearly told him that she loved him. She couldn’t have left. Harry quickly pulled on some baggy pants remembering that Gemma might still be in the house and left his bedroom in search of Anna. He heard laughter coming from the kitchen, Gemma, he knew her laugh anywhere. He couldn’t hear a second voice. Was she alone? Cautiously he peeked into the kitchen preparing to be disappointed. Anna sat next to Gemma at the bench, her hands wrapped around steaming mug. Gemma was shaking her head at something and Anna was speaking quietly.

“Look, I know it’s hard. You get used to the comfort of things sometimes. I get that. But if it’s not working, it’s not working.”

“But after so long. It just feels like a waste. I’ve put so much of myself into this, and I’m left with nothing.” Gemma shrugged. Harry stayed just close enough that he could hear their conversation but still hidden behind the wall.

“It’s not a waste though. You still have the good bits that you can remember. Do you really want to keep battling this out until you end up hating each other?” Anna’s voice was quiet, soft and gentle.

Gemma shrugged.

“I know it seems like it’s a waste. But what if… what if you break it off when you are still on good terms. Where you both know that it’s for the best. Then who knows, six months down the track, one year, maybe two, you might see each other again. All the effort that you’ve put in from the past has helped your future relationships, helped you grow as a person. Maybe then you come back together because you are ready for it.” Anna said gently.

“I don’t know.” Gemma sighed.

“Nothing that we do is ever a waste. It’s a part of learning and figuring out who we actually want to be. We make mistakes and hopefully we learn from them. I get that you aren’t ready to let go, I do, I get that. Just remember that all the effort you’ve put in now, could have amazing results tomorrow.”

“You study the Dalai Lama or something?” Gemma joked sniffling.

“Just been around a lot of heartbreak.” Anna sighed. “I’m sorry that you’re going through this.”

“It’s not your fault.” Gemma cleared her throat.

“Maybe it is though…” Anna laughed. “I knew I shouldn’t have encouraged Christian to take that Assholes 101 course!”

“Ahh that solves it. It’s all your fault.” Gemma laughed. Harry figure that now was a good a time as any to enter the room.

“Ahhhh good morning.” He said pretending to stretch and yawn. “How are you this morning?”

“Fine.” Anna smiled at him, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Great.” Gemma raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” He asked pushing the hair out of his eyes.

“You might want to wear a more covering shirt if you are going out and about today Harry.” Gemma grinned.

“Why?” Harry looked at his arms and chest, they looked perfectly in tact.

“No idea, you were so vicious Anna.” Gemma smirked as Anna turned slightly more pink.

“What’re you talking about?” Harry asked confused.

“Few tokens of Anna’s affections left on you Harry.” Gemma giggled, no trace of the serious conversation she and Anna were having moments ago was on her face.

“Oh, ha, ha.” Harry said sarcastically turning to his fridge to look for something to eat. Not to his surprise, it was quite empty.

“I’m going to go have a shower.” Gemma grinned getting off her chair and putting her empty mug in the sink. “Then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Wait. Didn’t you want to talk?” Harry asked slightly pouting.

“Anna fulfilled listening duties while you snored your head off. You’re off the hook.” Gemma smiled before she made her way back to her room.

There was silence between Anna and Harry as they smiled at each other, no doubt, both remembering their night.

“Good morning.” Anna said shyly.

“Good morning.” Harry replied before leaning across the bench at her. “We have no food.”

“I noticed that.” Anna nodded before finishing whatever was in her mug.

“Do you want to go out for breakfast?” Harry asked.

“I have no clothes, except for the ones I wore last night.” Anna sighed.

“You can borrow some of Gemma’s. She always leaves stuff here. I’m sure she won’t mind.” Harry reached across the bench and started to play with her fingers.

“I would mind. How about you drop me home, I can get changed, and then breakfast?” Anna proposed.

“Sounds like a plan.” Harry agreed. “I’ll have a shower then we can go.”

“Is that an invitation?” Anna repeated the question from last night, only this time, much, much more serious.

“Do you want it to be?” Harry swallowed heavily.

“If you’re offering.” Anna slipped off her chair and put her empty mug in the sink next to Gemma’s.

“You make it extremely difficult to not make love to you right on this table.” Harry shivered thinking about it.

“You’re sister is currently upstairs having a shower, and you want to strip me down on a table?” Anna scoffed leaning against the sink.

“The things you do to me.” Harry stalked towards and trapped he between his arms.

“The things you do to yourself I think.” Anna rolled her eyes at him. She tried to play if off like Harry didn’t have an effect on her, but he didn’t miss the stain of her cheeks and her sharp intake of breath when he surrounded her.

“Shut up and kiss me.” He shook his head before kissing her deeply.

—

Both Anna and Harry didn’t realize how heated their simple kiss had become until Gemma cleared her throat and they broke apart quickly. Harry had lifted Anna’s shirt and was holding her against him, her leg slightly riding up his thigh. Anna’s hands were tangled in Harry’s hair. Harry pushed Anna so that she was standing in front of him, his erection clear in his loose shorts.

“My gosh, get a room you two.” Gemma rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Technically, we are in a room.” Anna grinned.

“We’re in my house.” Harry laughed pulling Anna against his chest. Harry gasped as Anna brushed against him. She heard the gasp and backed up against him, digging her behind into him.

“Stop.” He said under his breath.

“You two. You’re like horny school kids.” Gemma laughed shaking her head.

“To be fair, Anna is around kids a lot.” Harry smiled proudly.

“Oh no Harry.” Gemma groaned. “No Harry.” Anna laughed covering her mouth.

“What?” He asked innocently.

“Way to make me sound like I shouldn’t be working with kids.” Anna laughed.

“What? No. I mean, you’re a teacher. She’s a teacher.” Harry tried to clear up the confusion but it was already too late.

“I know she’s a teacher. You’re an idiot.” Gemma sighed fondly. “I’m leaving. Have a good day.” She waved before walking out of the kitchen.

“Bye Gem.” Harry called out before he heard the front door shut.

“I meant that you’re a teacher.” Harry mumbled embarrassed.

“Come on. Let’s go shower. You have something that needs attending to.” Anna giggled before dropping her hand to Harry’s hip and then gently stroking his length making him shudder.

“Yes Miss Brent.” Harry breathed before taking her hand, and in turn, taking her in the shower.

—

“Shower sex, not as romantic as people would think.” Anna commented as they drove back to her house.

“I’m offended.” Harry said mockingly.

“No. You were great. I mean, it was great, but logistically, it’s difficult.” Anna clarified, laughing.

“Well I enjoyed it.” Harry said still acting offended.

“You’re not listening.” Anna laughed. “The sex, great. A+, you win. But it’s like, we both get cold because only one person can be under the water, then the tiles are cold. You have to hold me up against the wall. I’m not exactly the weight of a feather.” Anna listed off.

“Well how do we fix this great atrocity?” Harry asked as they pulled up in front of her house.

“I’m not saying it needs to be fixed. I’m just saying, people have this idea that shower sex is going to be great and wonderful and majestic. But in reality, it’s slippery, it’s cold and it’s hard.” Anna answered closing the car door and digging for her keys in her clutch.

“So what do you do instead?” Harry asked looking around the street at the people walking past on their Sunday morning.

“Bath? I don’t know if that would be any better though. Water would be going everywhere. You’d need to clean that up. More of a risk of drowning I imagine.” Anna shrugged as she opened the door.

“You think someone’s going to hold you under the water?” Harry laughed as he closed the door behind her.

“No idiot. But like, water rising and falling. It could get in your mouth. You might mistake a choke or noise as a moan of pleasure and keep going, meanwhile the other person is dying.”

“How full is this bath?” Harry scoffed as he followed her into her room.

“OK fine. Bath sex it is then.” She sighed as she opened her wardrobe. “You missed my point though. Shower sex, in practice, not as great as people would think.”

“Fine no more shower sex. And here I was thinking we hit it off.” Harry grumbled sarcastically lying back on her bed.

She frowned at him poking her head out from the dresser, making him laugh.

“What about kitchen sex?” Harry asked as Anna changed from her dirty clothes into fresh ones.

“What about it?” Anna asked buttoning up her denim shorts.

“How’s that logistically?” Harry smirked at her.

“Fine I guess.” Anna shrugged. “I guess it depends on the height of the bench and the flooring.”

Harry shouted in laughter.

“What?” Anna blushed.

“How often do you think about this?” Harry asked still chuckling.

“That’s just going from experience.” Anna said quickly before turning bright red.

“What was that?” Harry asked eagerly sitting up on the bed.

“Nothing.” Anna sang out as she tugged a shirt over her head. “What about you? What’s your kitchen experience?”

“Messy.” Harry sighed making Anna laugh and look back out at him.

“What I mean is. You know, it starts out cooking but then the cooking never really gets done and then there’s food everywhere.” Harry shrugged. “It’s messy.”

“Try and interrupt me while I am cooking and I will hit you with a frying pan.” Anna threatened closing the doors of her wardrobe in a new outfit.

“So what’s your experience then?” Harry questioned.

“Usually it’s after washing up. Everything’s all done, you’ve had some wine… ba da bing, ba da boom. Kitchen.” Anna shrugged as she watching herself tie her hair back in her mirror.

“You sound like a pro.” Harry commented smiling at her.

“I’ve had my share.” She said turning around to him. “Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

“Café sex?” Harry said suggestively.

“Never tried it.” Anna laughed.

“There’s always a time for first.” Harry muttered as Anna threw the things from the clutch into a handbag.

“Not on your life Styles.” Anna laughed opening her front door again, Harry hot on her heels.

—

Anna heard the squeals before she saw the fans.

“Here we go.” Harry said under his breath smiling as some people approached. Anna laughed and continued to eat while Harry stood up from the table and took photos.

“Sorry. Do you mind if I get back to…” Harry motioned back to his uneaten breakfast as the fans thanked him profusely.

“We love you so much.”, “You’ve change my life.”, “I love your hair, don’t ever cut it.”, “Thank you so much.” The voices echoed around Anna as she ate quietly. Harry smiled politely sitting down and trying to eat again.

“Sorry love.” He apologized, his mouth full of spinach.

“It’s fine.” Anna shrugged. “Glad they didn’t ask me to take the photos. I’m hungry.”

Harry scoffed and shook his head at her.

“What?” She asked smirking at him.

“You. So relaxed about it all.” Harry chuckled.

“What am I meant to do?” Anna asked.

“I don’t know really. You just take it all in your stride.” Harry shrugged not sure what he was trying to say.

“I could cause a scene. Do you want me to cause a scene?” Anna laughed.

“No. Please don’t. I’m just amazed that you take it all so easily.” Harry replied. “I’m trying to compliment you.”

Anna laughed shaking her head. “Thank you for the compliment.”

—

Anna and Harry finished breakfast and decided to go for a slow wander around the streets. The day was lovely, not too cool, not too hot, not that it would ever get “hot” in London. They weren’t holding hands, by Anna’s choice, no matter how much Harry wanted to. He wanted to hold her hand, show her off and show that she had finally chosen him. After years of being friends with her, after realizing what she meant to him, after months of heartbreak over her, he finally had her and he never wanted to do anything to jeopardize that. So if she wanted to take it slow, if she didn’t want to hold hands, he would be ok with that, as long as it meant that she wouldn’t run away from him. He didn’t know what they were, what she thought was happening between them, they would need to have that conversation one day maybe, but for right now, he would be happy just walking with her. They weren’t talking; they were just walking, happy to be in each other company. Harry began to think about the night before, how beautiful she looked in the concert lights, how her lips moved along to the lyrics of the song but not making any noise. He remembered how she had kissed him, she’d made the move into his arms and his heart leapt at the memory. He remembered her dancing with Ed, how she laughed and her cheeks flushed when she watched him. Harry remembered the familiar pang of jealousy when he watched her laugh with Ed, until he remembered that she’d come with Harry that night, that for one moment in time, she was with Harry. Harry’s mind wandered to the image of her laid out on the couch, before she rode him, her pink cheeks and her swollen red lips. Harry blushed at the thought. The way her body clenched around him, the warmth her whole body radiated into him and he remembered thinking how he had never loved a woman like he loved Anna. 

He was sure that he loved Kelly, he was so sure of that, even when they fought he knew that he loved her, that they would come back together at some point. Things slowly changed between them and the heartbreak of her betrayal still stung him sometimes and left him wondering if he deserved to be loved, if he had any right to the emotion. Was he allowed to love? Was he allowed that luxury? Maybe he could love but he wouldn’t be rewarded with its return. But last night had soothed his mind, it comforted him, he could be loved and Anna could be the one that would do that for him. What he felt for Kelly, whatever they had together, it was nothing in comparison to what he felt with Anna.

—

Harry was broken out of his thoughts by Anna’s phone ringing.

“Hello, this is Anna.” Anna answered, her voice unsure, as if she didn’t recognize the number. She paused as the person answered and her face paled.

“I… I don’t think that’s…” Anna stuttered, they’d stop walking. Harry was only hearing part of the conversation and seeing Anna’s reactions, which looked scared.

“You’ve clearly moved on, why can’t I?” Anna suddenly said angrily. Harry swallowed heavily as Anna turned her back on him.

“Are you fucking kidding me Niall?” Anna’s voice cracked with strain.

There was silence while Harry studied Anna’s shoulders raising and falling with tension.

“You fucking kissed her, while you were with me. You fucking… fuck. You went out with her. You declared your fucking love for her in front of the bloody waiting paparazzi. I saw you the next morning having bloody breakfast with the fucking girl and you have the nerve to call me and tell me that I’m a slut?” Harry wanted to reach out and comfort her. He wanted to call Niall. He wanted… he wanted his blood. How dare he call her a slut?

“Not in so many words, but I know what you are saying.” Anna said shortly.

“It’s my fucking life Niall. If I want to see Harry I will. You moved on. It’s not any of your business.” Anna huffed, she sounded like she was about to cry. Why did Niall have to ruin their morning?

“You… you…” Anna stuttered.

“I don’t have to listen to this anymore. Fuck off Niall.” Anna said angrily sniffing and hanging up her phone. She didn’t turn back to Harry immediately but he could see that she was wiping her eyes.

“Anna?” He asked gently and she slowly turned around.

“Niall’s clearly not thrilled.” She tried to laugh it off but Harry could see the hurt crumpling her face.

“I’m so sorry Anna.” Harry didn’t know what to say. Of course Niall would find out, of course he would hate this. Harry should have spoken to him about it. He didn’t know last night was going to progress like it did, but he should have said something to Niall. Warned him at least.

“It’s not your fault.” Anna sniffled again and huffed shaking out her shoulders.

“I should have said something to him. About taking you out I mean.” Harry frowned.

“No. You shouldn’t have. He doesn’t own me Harry. He’s moved on. He needs to let me try.” Anna sighed and Harry’s stomach dropped.

“Is… is that what this is? Am I rebound?” The words left Harry’s lips before he thought to stop himself. Anna’s face fell further and she looked shocked.

“No. No Harry. Not all. Please don’t think that.” She cupped his jaw in one of her hands. “No. I saw you because I wanted to see you. I want to see you. We… I slept with you because I wanted to. Not because I am trying to get over Niall. That sounded wrong.” Anna paused trying to think of the right words while Harry regained his breath. He wasn’t a rebound.

“What I am trying to say I think is, I am trying to move on, and I couldn’t think of anyone else that I would want by my side right now.” Anna smiled shyly at him. “Does that make sense?” She was nervous, Harry could hear the shake in her voice.

“I love you Anna. I’m just going to keep telling you until you believe me.” Harry smiled; he was ready to jump all in for her.

“Harry…” Anna hesitated. “I… ugh, I don’t know how to say this. I… have strong feelings for you. But… but I can’t say that yet.” Anna looked sad.

“Anna. It’s fine. They are my words to say, and maybe one day, they’ll be yours too.”

“That sounds like a song lyric.” Anna laughed lightly.

“You’re right. I should write that down.” Harry smiled at her before pulling her in for a hug.

“Can we go home?” Anna breathed onto his chest.

“Absolutely.” Harry agreed, bravely taking her hand, extremely pleased when she didn’t pull away.


	34. What about me?

Niall paced around his room after throwing his phone on the bed. She was out with Harry. How could she be out with Harry, of all people? He’d seen the photos of them, out with Ed, then for breakfast. He was fuming. The call with Anna did not go the way he planned, his anger had gotten the best of him and he snapped at her. He didn’t have a right over her, he knew that, but she was still firmly lodged in his heart. She was right with everything that she said and it cut Niall even more. He was out with Hannah, he did declare his love for her, even when he thought it was Anna, they did have breakfast together, of all the people to be seen with, it would be the person he kissed when he was dating Anna. He knew that it would hurt her; he knew that it would, but then she was with Harry. His band mate, his brother, and she looked happy. She looked fucking happy with him. She used to look like that with him. He used to bring that smile to her face. He hadn’t meant to snap at her, he hadn’t meant to say those things to her; they were all things he was saying to himself. She’d not seen anyone since they’d split; yet here he was with women from all around the world. No wonder she thought he’d moved on. But he hadn’t, he still loved her, he still needed her. She was his friend, one of his best friends; she talked with him through some of the best and worst moments of his life. She’d cried to him when she missed him, that she wanted him home. He was with her at the funeral, Christmas with his family, through the loneliness of tour, she was there through it all and now she was gone and he’d just pushed her further away with that stupid phone call. He was angry, he was alone, and he wanted to speak to someone. No. Anna. He wanted to speak to Anna. He wanted her to tell him that it was all-ok, that he would be ok, that she still loved him. He wanted to wake up and realize that it was all a bad dream, that she would roll over and see the concern in his eyes and she would kiss it away. He wanted Anna back. For the first time in months Niall finally cried. Hot, wet tears pouring from his eyes and he crumpled on his bed. Finally defeated by his own emotions, Niall sobbed. He just needed Anna. He just needed her.

—

Niall didn’t know how long he’d been lying there sobbing, letting the pain overwhelm his body but he was shaken out of it by his phone ringing. Her ringtone, she was ringing. Niall crawled quickly to his phone answering, his voice hoarse.

“Anna?”

“Niall.” She sighed; it was her frustrated sigh, “Are you ok?”

“Anna.” He repeated, he didn’t know what to say or why she was calling him, but he knew that the weight was easing in his chest with every word she said.

“Niall?” Her voice was tenser; as if she’d heard the pain he was in.

“Anna.” It was all he could say as the tears started again, he felt like he was splitting in half.

“I’m coming Niall. I’ll be there in a few. Hold on.” The dial tone brought a wave of joy and misery; she was coming to see him. This would be it. This would be the moment that he would remember forever. The moment he let her go.

—

The door was unlocked and Anna let herself in, closing it behind her quietly.

“Niall?” She called out to the empty sounding house, hearing no response. “Niall?” She tried again cautiously, with still no response. She decided to look around the house, searching for him. She didn’t know what she was doing here. She didn’t know why she called him. She didn’t know why she felt the overwhelming need to rush over to him and take care of him. She was angry about seeing him and Hannah together, she was angry about his reaction to seeing a picture of her and Harry. Anna was angry with Niall and yet, here she was, coming to take care of him. She wondered where Hannah was as she walked around the empty house searching for him. At last she pushed open his bedroom door and found him lying in ball hugging his knees, his breathing slow and even. He looked like he was asleep. Anna felt a rush for affection for him as she watched him. Memories of their time together, how happy they were flooded her mind and she could feel herself tearing up. She missed him and it broke her heart at how he’s spoken to her on the phone. She didn’t know what made her do it, she certainly didn’t feel in control of her body as she walked towards the bed and lay down next to him. He immediately shuffled closer to her and she held him close to her. She was sure that he mumbled her name, but he stayed asleep.

Anna didn’t know how long they lay like that. Her mind was racing with questions about what she was doing, why she was doing it, but it was all hushed when Niall would huff in his sleep, or murmur her name. She may have dozed off, or maybe she was just completely relaxed, but eventually Niall rolled over and woke up. His eyes were puffy and red like he’d been crying, but his face broke into a fresh smile as he saw who was next to him.

“Anna?” His voice was hoarse and crackled at her name.

“Hey Niall.” Anna moved her arm from around his stomach and sat up against the bed head.

“What… Am I dreaming? Are we… what are you doing here?” Niall sat up quickly rubbing his eyes.

“You called me. I thought we should talk.” Anna sighed heavily. It was the like the weight of everything she needed to say, that she wanted to say, that she couldn’t say, was resting on her shoulders.

“I called you?” Niall asked confused before realization settled in. “Anna.” He began but she held up her hand halting him. They sat in silence, Anna playing with a thread on the blanket.

“Niall.” She sighed, trying to organize her thoughts. He sat expectantly watching her, his eyes betraying the fear behind them.

“You’re with Hannah now.” Anna said heavily. “And I guess I need to be ok with that, but you can’t dictate who I can and can’t see.” There was a long pause while Anna tried to think of what to say. “Niall, you moved on and I know that I called it off. I thought that it would be best for us. I’m sorry that I hurt you, and that I handled things the way that I did. It wasn’t fair to you. I… I didn’t see anyone for a long time. I was hurt when I saw news coming out about you with other women. It felt like… it felt like that’s the person you wanted to be and that I was holding you back from that, and so it was for the best.” Anna took a deep breath. “It was hard, it was really hard watching you move on. And move on quickly. While I was still alone, by myself, trying to figure out how to not be with you. But I did it. Eventually.” Anna shook her head. “Then when I saw the news about Hannah. I mean you looked like you’d been drinking and that’s fine. I was happy to leave it at that. But then, seeing you kiss her… that hurt. It hurt Niall. I’m not going to sugar coat that. I didn’t want to believe it. Then seeing you two together, in real life. Niall it hurt, and that’s what made up my mind that I needed to move on. I need to move on Niall.” Anna sounded like she was asking for his permission. Anna still had that gnawing feeling in the back of her mind. She needed Niall to know how much it hurt that he’d moved on with the one person that had splintered them in the first place.

“Niall. I need you to understand. Me and Harry, us. I never wanted to hurt you and that was nowhere in mind about happening. Nowhere at all. I cut off contact with everyone when we ended. I hadn’t spoken to him in months. Seeing you with Hannah. It was like I was hurt all over again. You went with the one person… the one… it broke me Niall. I thought I was strong and I’m not. That… more than anything. You and her. That’s where I moved on. Maybe one day I’ll be ok with it.” Anna sighed shrugging her shoulders, not sure if that day was going to be in the future any time soon.

“Anna.” Niall spoke for the first time. His jaw was trembling and he looked speechless.

“Anna, I never wanted to hurt you. Moving on? I’ve never… I don’t… Hannah, she…” Niall stuttered over his words.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me Niall.” Anna tried to save him from any explanation.

“No but… Hannah, she doesn’t mean anything. We were drunk. Every time, I’ve been so drunk. I thought it was you. I thought I finally had you back.” Niall said quickly.

“Drunk or not Niall. You still…. You still.” Anna blinked away tears.

“I thought it was you.” He repeated.

“You weren’t thinking very hard then.” Anna sighed. “I mean… it’s whatever now. It’s my own fault. When I called it off, I knew that you would need to move on. I just didn’t…” Anna stopped herself.

“What?” Niall prompted.

“I just didn’t think it would be so quickly. I just didn’t think it would be with Hannah.” Anna huffed.

“I… I never… I haven’t…” Niall shook his head.

“You have Niall and it’s ok. But I need to move on too.” Anna let out a heavy sigh.

“You’re moving on with Harry.” Niall’s voice turned stiff.

“That’s none of your business.” Anna shook her head.

“I think it is. He’s my band mate.” Niall disagreed.

“You moved on with a girl you cheated on me with and you’re worried because you sing in the same band as someone?” Anna asked.

“I didn’t cheat…” Niall paused when Anna stared at him.

“I didn’t choose Harry, Niall. I didn’t say to myself, “who is going to hurt Niall the most like he hurt me, Oh right Harry, there we go.” None of this was about you Niall.” Anna snapped.

“You had to know that it was going to be hard on me Anna.” Niall replied his voice still hard.

“And what did you think when you took Hannah home and fucked her Niall.” Anna shot back.

“I thought she was you!” Niall almost yelled back.

“That is a piss poor excuse Niall and you know it.” Anna’s voice was dangerously soft. “How do you think it feels to be in a relationship with you? Watching women throw themselves at the man you love? How do you think it feels to know that you’re not good enough? How do you think it feels to watch the person you loved, go be with the person he cheated on you with? How do you think any of that feels Niall? I gave space, I gave time for me to move on and when I finally do I am attacked for it, over and over and over again. Whereas you… you just went out and you moved on in a heart beat.”

“You broke up with me Anna.” Niall reminded her.

“Because I couldn’t do it any more Niall.”

“And you think it’s going to be different with Harry?” Niall shouted.

“This isn’t about Harry.”

“To hell it’s not.” Niall replied viciously.

“Really Niall? You think you’d take me dating someone else just as well?” Anna asked sarcastically.

“At least it wouldn’t be my best friend.”

“Yeah, because you meeting with Adam went so well.” Anna rolled her eyes.

“So you moved on with Adam and now Harry and you’re blaming me for trying to move on. Who else are you trying to move on with? Who’s next Anna? Louis? Liam? Are you just working your way through the band?” Niall shouted.

Anna looked as though Niall had hit her. Niall immediately regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He’d gone too far.  
“Anna…. I…”

“You know what. Go fuck yourself Niall. If you really think that low of me.” Anna stood up from the bed. “I don’t know why I came here. I don’t know why I still feel the need to look after you, or take fucking care of you when you just want to hurl abuse at me and in the same breath you tell me you love me.” Anna picked up her bag from the floor.

“Not that it’s any of your fucking business, I’ve been with one person since you Niall. One. Do you even remember your count?” Anna turned and slammed the bedroom door behind her when she heard a woman’s voice calling Niall’s name from the living room. She would recognize it anywhere. Hannah.

“He’s in his bedroom.” Anna said walked quickly past her.

“What are you doing here?” Hannah asked surprised, dislike for Anna painted clear across her face.

“Tying up a loose end.” Anna said shortly before Niall’s footsteps were heard behind her.

“Anna… I’m…” His apology was caught in his throat.

“Goodbye Niall. Hannah.” Anna nodded at Hannah before leaving the house; managing to hold the tears in her chest as she called her mother.

“Mum. Can I come see you for a bit?”

—

Anna spent the afternoon with her mother, trying to pretend like everything was ok, when it was clearly not. Her phone continued to ring and buzz and she eventually turned it off. She didn’t want to see anyone, she didn’t want to speak to anyone, she just needed her mother to hold her and tell her that things were going to be ok. She couldn’t believe what Niall had said to her, that he had snapped so quickly. It was wrong of her to go there, she made a mistake, she shouldn’t have gone and now she knew that. Niall was hurting, she knew that’s what was making him lash out at her, but so was she. Hannah was in his house, with him, again, and he still tried to tell her that it meant nothing. Niall was lying to himself and he was crushing Anna. She knew that she wasn’t doing the right thing with Harry. That it was hurting Niall and who knows who else, but why did it have to feel to right with him? Why did she have to feel so happy when she was with him? Why did Anna continually hurt the people that she loved? She’d tried to stay away, she tried to separate herself and they kept coming back. Her only choice was to see neither of them romantically. Maybe just be their friend. Could Anna do that? But who would win in that situation? Harry would want to be with Anna. Niall would want to be with Anna. Anna wanted to feel normal and nothing about this situation was normal. None of them won, no matter what Anna chose.

She stays away from them; she loses two friends, three to count Lou in that.

She dates Harry; Niall is crushed.

She dates Niall; Harry is crushed.

She dates neither of them; Harry and Niall want more and Anna can’t give it.

Anna sighed as she thought through the options in her head. No matter what someone was always going to lose.

“What about me?” She thought suddenly. This whole time she’d been thinking about what was best for the band, what was best for them, not once did she think about what she wanted, what was best for her. What was best for her?

She didn’t want to stay away from any of them, they were her friends and she didn’t want to lose Lou in the process.

She wanted to be with Harry. There was something about him that she was drawn too. He made her laugh, set her body on fire when he kissed her and he well and truly loved her. He was there through all the hard times, not ever asking too much of her. He’d dated Kelly, and he’d withdrawn. He’d made stupid decisions and he learned from them, or at least Anna hoped that he had.

She wanted to be with Niall. But he hurt her today, and previously. He’d cheated on her and then gotten together with the same girl. But he loved her fully when he was able too. He showed her that he loved her, he listened to her, made her smile and blush. He was safe and warm, stubborn as a mule sometimes, but he loved her passionately. She was still hurt after their recent conversation and she didn’t really know how to heal from that.

She wanted things to go back to how they were, before her and Niall started dating, before Harry met Kelly. When she was still shy around the band. When she didn’t know them that well. When she’d seen Harry at a few of Lou’s get-togethers and they’d talked and laughed together. She wanted to go back to a time when things were simple. She and Lou had been together, laughing, crying at times. She’d played with Lux, she was studying and loving it. Things were simple. But the more she’d gotten to know the band, the more complicated it became. The more they asked her to come to things, even when she felt out of place. She’d gotten to know Louis, the cheeky little shit that poured ice down her back one day and she’d pushed him into a freezing cold pool. That was simple. There was no meaning behind it, there was no motive, she was happy being their friend, even their acquaintance. She was happy with that. Lou had pushed for more, wanting her to spend more time with them and to get to know them. If only Anna had trusted her instincts and stayed away. They didn’t need her to come into their lives and mess things around. What would she bring them anyway? An early childhood degree? Yeah, that was a great skill to have around a bunch of twenty-something international pop-stars.

Anna rubbed her temples with the start of a headache forming behind her eyes. She was stressed out and she had no idea what she was meant to do. Maybe her break from them hadn’t been long enough. Maybe she needed to be away for longer. Maybe she needed to disappear completely, only tell Lou where she was going and not to pass it along. That way Harry and Niall could move on. Anna could move on, like she’d been trying to. Then, maybe, in a couple of years, she would see them again and they could laugh about how silly they’d all been. That it was a weird time in all their lives, but they’d moved on now. They’d both settled down with women that understood them, that could be with them fully and weren’t held back by anything else. They could maybe pass on the street and have that awkward acknowledging nod to each other; neither wanting to stop and talk, and at last, at long last, Anna would be back to where she started. Just her, on her own, doing the things she loved and working with children. No men to distract her, no songs to fill her head when she was sad, no one to laugh at the stupid things her kids did during the day. It was just be her. By herself. Alone.

—

Harry groaned in frustration as he hung up from another very short conversation with Anna. Anytime he tried to call her and ask how she was, have a conversation with her, try to plan something she was always in the middle of something, that she would call him later, that she was busy when he hadn’t told her a date yet. She was avoiding him and he had no idea why. Well, that wasn’t true. He had some idea why and it started with N and rhymed with ‘file’. He thought that they’d had a great weekend together, he knew that he’d enjoyed it. He’d try to hold back from telling her how much he loved her, how happy he was they were together. He didn’t want to scare her off, but maybe he’d still over done it. It had only been three days. He knew that he was overreacting but he just wanted to see her again. Harry just wanted to kiss her again. He just wanted to be with her again. Was that so much to ask?

—

Anna sighed as she pressed ‘end call’ on her conversation with Harry. Three days he’d been madly following her up, asking her out, calling, texting, threatening to send smoke signals to her. She’d avoided, she made up excuses, made up plans and she knew it was failing. She knew that he could see through it, and she knew that she couldn’t do it for much longer. She still hadn’t worked out what was right and she still couldn’t get over the things that Niall had said to her. She hadn’t mentioned to Harry that she’d gone to Niall’s house. It wasn’t really his business and she knew that he would get upset about what had happened after they’d spent an amazing weekend together. Anna would be lying to herself if she were to say that she wasn’t missing Harry. In truth she really missed the way that he kissed her, the way that he held her and the way that he smiled at her. She just missed him. She missed Niall as well but that was still raw after their confrontation.

—

She was meant to be on holidays. She was meant to be relaxing, instead she was getting worked up over two men that were just going to go back on tour in a few months time; with a couple of men that could have any woman in the world, she was getting upset over two men that she desperately loved and couldn’t choose between without hurting someone, and most of the time, Anna thought that that ‘someone’ might actually just be herself.

—

Niall had been different since Anna had come over. He’d closed up. He wasn’t talking to Hannah. Every time she tried to make a move on him he pushed her off or turned away from her. She couldn’t understand. They’d slept together a couple of times. Hannah didn’t like Anna, she knew it was only from jealously, but she had Niall now, or at least she thought that she did.

“Niall, baby, talk to me.” She cooed one night as Niall sat on his bed playing on his phone.

“Nothing to say.” He mumbled still occupied with the device in his hands.

“I can tell something’s wrong.” Hannah sighed. She’d known Niall for years and she could tell when something was wrong; she’d grown up with him. Their families basically grew up next door to each other, their mothers spoke about how they thought that they would always get together and finally they were. Why was he pushing her away?

“It’s nothing.” Niall mumbled clicking off his phone and putting it on the night stand to charge.

Hannah sighed heavily, grumbling quietly.

“I wish you would just talk to me. Maybe I could help.”

“You can’t. Don’t worry about it.” Niall replied angrily.

“Don’t shut me out Niall.” Hannah begged.

Niall sat up quickly. “I’m angry Hannah. I don’t know why you are here, in my bed, I don’t know how I lost Anna, I don’t know what is happening in my life. I don’t know Hannah.”

Hannah gulped heavily. She knew that Niall still loved Anna, but maybe Hannah could be the person that helped him move on.

—

“Anna don’t hang up.” Harry said quickly into the phone when Anna answered with a sigh.

“Hello to you too.” Anna laughed lightly and Harry felt his stomach lift. It had been a few days since he’d heard her voice and she’d barely replied to his messages.

“Hi. Sorry.” Harry grinned.

“What can I do for you?” Anna asked carefully.

“I just wanted to let you know that I am going to LA for a couple of weeks.” Harry replied quickly.

“Oh.” Anna answered. Harry couldn’t help but think that there was some disappointment in her voice.

“Erm. Is… is that ok?” Harry asked cautiously.

“Oh course it is.” Anna answered quickly. “You don’t have to ask me for permission.”

“I’m… erm… I’m not asking for permission.” Harry mumbled nervously.

“Then why are you telling me?” Anna laughed. He knew that laugh, it was her laugh that covered her pain.

“I just wanted to let you know, so you didn’t wake up one morning and see it in papers and wonder why I didn’t tell you.” Harry explained.

“Right. Well thank you Harry.” Anna said quietly.

“Anna?” Harry asked after a brief silence between them.

“Harry.” She replied.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Harry prompted.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Anna mumbled.

“Yes you do.” Harry sighed.

“When are you leaving?” Anna asked suddenly changing the subject.

“Tomorrow morning, why?” Harry answered.

“Do… do you want to come over tonight?” Anna asked.

“Yeah… yeah I’ll come soon.” Harry said quickly, looking around his room frantically for some reason.

“Ok. Thanks Harry.” Anna sighed.

“For what?” He asked smiling.

“I don’t know.” Anna hummed before she hung up the phone.


	35. One Step Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's... mostly ... yeah... not a lot of plot here, but it's building.

Harry held himself back from rushing straight out the door when Anna asked him over. Now that he was there sitting on the couch with her as she explained what had happened when she’d visited Niall more than a week ago, he wished he’d come over sooner. No wonder she had kept her distance. Harry couldn’t believe the things that Niall had said to her, he was disappointed in his friend for the things said in anger to her.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry said quietly as Anna finished with a sigh.

“You don’t need to be sorry Harry. I shouldn’t have gone there.” Anna tried to shrug off her hurt.

“You still love him Anna.” Harry said.

Anna nodded sadly. “But I’m trying to move on.”

“I’m here for you, always.” Harry said reaching out and squeezing her hand softly.

“Not really. You’re going to LA.” Anna laughed sadly.

“I don’t have to go.” Harry said quickly.

“That was a bad joke. No Harry. You go it’s fine.” Anna said sheepishly.

“You could come with me.” Harry mumbled.

“Come again?” Anna didn’t believe what she’d heard.

“You could come with me.” Harry repeated more clearly. “You don’t have school or anything. It might be good to have a break.”

“Harry, No.” Anna shook her head.

“Why not?” Harry asked watching the thoughts fly through her mind.

“Because… because no Harry.” Anna shook her head again.

“You don’t have a reason do you?” Harry grinned. “Come on. Just a week.” He pressed.

“Harry, I really can’t. Thank you. I appreciate the offer. But no.” Anna smiled sadly at him.

Harry pouted, hoping that it would change her mind.

“And those puppy dog eyes and pout won’t change that.” Anna laughed as if she read his mind.

“Well the offer is there. I can fly you out at any time if you want.” Harry was still pressing, hoping that she would change her mind.

“Thank you Harry. You really are too lovely to me.” Anna sighed. Harry was still holding her hand and he felt her squeeze it gently as she spoke. “I keep pushing you away and you keep coming back.” She mused to herself more than him.

“I like you Anna.” Harry said quietly.

“I like you too Harry.” Anna replied nervously.

There was a long pause between them, not uncomfortable, not awkward, just a brief quiet while they processed what each other had said. The atmosphere shifted.

“Can I kiss you Anna?” Harry asked already leaning towards her.

Anna bit her lip and nodded, her eyes glassy before Harry connected their lips. It was like their first kiss all over again. Fireworks exploded in Harry’s stomach, as a settling calm washed over his mind. It was as if, when he kissed Anna, he knew that things were going to be all right. She calmed him down and excited him in the same breath. Her lips tasted subtly of vanilla and peace washed over Harry’s body. She liked him. She’d said it. She was one step closer to admitting what she really felt for him, what Harry felt every time she smiled, or laughed, every time her fingers lightly brushed his arm; she one was one step closer to loving him.

—

Anna wasn’t expecting a simple kiss with Harry to turn into something so heated, but then, it was Harry, this had happened every time they’d kissed. Soon he was covering her body with his own, supporting most of his weight on his arms and knees rather than her chest. His full lips ran across her skin, her breath catching in her throat as a result. She didn’t know what it was about Harry, but every time they kissed she wanted to tear his clothes off and have her way with him. Something that she was sure that he would be only too happy to oblige to. She didn’t want to use him. She’d made the decision that she was moving on from Niall. She’d made the decision that Harry was the one that she wanted to be with. Of course, her heart was still broken for Niall, of course, she loved him, but she knew that what she felt for Harry was genuine and so when she kissed him, it was with all of her, not just the parts that she was holding out for Niall. Anna tangled her fingers up into his long curly hair and pulled his lips back to her own. Sucking and nibbling slightly on his bottom lip, Anna heard him sigh into the kiss. If she stopped now they wouldn’t have sex. If she pulled away now they could just go on with their night. Maybe go and get dinner or go out on an actual date. But if she pulled away now she would be stopping the kiss that sent her stomach leaping about, that sent shivers down her spine and Anna didn’t want that. So she pulled back slightly and said asked a one-word question.

“Bedroom?”

—

Harry hesitated, pulling back from Anna. Absolutely he wanted to go into the bedroom with her, but his want was different to what they needed. She was hurting over Niall, but she’d said that she wanted to move on. Was this her way of moving on? Her green eyes searched for an answer on Harry’s face.

“Anna.” He murmured trying to figure out what she wanted and what she needed.

“Harry. Please.” Anna barely breathed the words making Harry’s mind up for him as he stood quickly from the couch and took her hand, leading her to the bedroom.

—

He was going to go slow, he was going to make sure every part of her body was pleasured before he was gratified. He was going to show her what making love was. Gently he kissed her lips, making a trail of small kisses along her jaw and back to her lips. Gently, gently he went placing small sweet kisses down her throat as she arched her back closer to him. Her hands went to the buttons on his shirt but he stilled her shaking his head. This was about her right now and what she needed to feel loved. Harry placed his large hands on her hips and slowly pulled her towards him. He flinched slightly as she made contact with his growing erection, but he ignored it and went back to kissing her full lips. Slowly his hands made their way to the hem of her shirt and he carefully lifted and dragged the material over her head and arms. He threw the shirt somewhere behind him, to obsessed with the head radiating from her body. Harry brushed his fingers lightly down her back, feeling her shiver in response before he cupped her full behind in his hands and pulled her again against his crotch. Anna moaned in response and tried again to remove Harry’s shirt.

“This is about you Anna.” Harry whispered as he pulled away from their kiss.

“I want to touch you though.” Anna blushed. Harry suppressed the grin as he allowed her nimble fingers to make quick work of the buttons of his shirt. Her nails lightly ran along his shoulders as she pushed the material from him and he shuddered in response.

“Much better.” Anna hummed and she looked over the exposed skin in front of her. Harry tenderly held her jaw in his hands as he kissed her again, only quickly working his tongue against hers before paying attention to her lips. Carefully he walked them back towards the bed until the back of Anna’s knees his the mattress.

Harry moved his hands from her face and down to the button of the shorts she was wearing. Anna jumped slightly as Harry removed the shorts in one quick motion, leaving them to pool at her feet. Harry kissed the gasp from her mouth and she immediately responded to him. Harry ran his hands over her heated skin, wanting to touch every part that he could. One hand ran over her covered breast while the other gently clasped her behind. Harry needed to remind himself to slow down and what his aim was in pleasing Anna, her pleasurable moans and gasps making it easy to forget. Carefully Harry laid her back on the bed as he began to kiss down her body. The valley between her breasts peaked his interest as they held his cheeks with perkiness. Anna lifted her hips from the bed and she rubbed herself against his hipbone. Harry continued further down her body as Anna sat up slightly and removed her bra. Harry was going to do that, but who was his to complain with a delicious and eager woman spread out in front of him. Harry kissed her hips, nibbling slighting eliciting a gratifying moan from Anna. While he distracted her with his lips he removed the final layer of cloth that covered Anna from Harry’s greedy eyes and mouth. She was absolutely stunning and Harry felt the constriction of his jeans tighten further as his eyes ran up and down her body. He could he ever get so lucky? Harry released a button on his jeans and let the zipper down to relieve some of the pressure. He was genuinely concerned he might hurt himself if he thickened further.

Harry ran his palms up her smooth calves, massaging the taught muscles as he kissed the inside of her thigh. Anna’s hands lay beside her clutching the sheets as he moved closer to her heat. Harry continued to massage her legs with his strong hands before the tip of his nose brushed against her, her breath leaving her in a huff. Painstakingly slowly, Harry didn’t know how he had the patience for it himself; his tongue darted out quickly and licked her leisurely. Harry watched her stomach contract as the contact before he went again. The salty taste of her arousal coated his tongue as he delicately separated her folds and before to kiss her deeply. He heard her breath catch in her throat before the groaned out his name. Harry freed one of her legs from his grasp as he worked his jeans off with one hand. Soon he was just left in his boxers while he pleasured her with his mouth. The temptation to touch himself while she moaned out her name was increasing. He’d never come by performing oral before, and tonight might be a first.

“Harry.” Anna’s breath was increasing and her heat was producing more liquid, showing that she was close to release. Harry moved away from her addictive center and kissed the inside of her thighs. Anna’s eyes snapped open and they looked accusingly at Harry.

“Why’d you stop?” She demanded, her voice slightly hoarse.

“Not yet.” Harry muttered against her skin as he slowly made his way back to her lips. Her breasts that were moving with her labored breathing once again distracted him. Gently placing his lips around one of her nipples he surprised her by sucking harshly and making her body arch into his bare chest.

“Harry.” Anna whined as he played with the other nipple and until it matched the stiff peak of the other he had lovingly kissed.

“Please. Please take off your boxers.” Anna panted her hands moving to the material containing Harry’s straining erection.

Harry quickly rolled off her and removed his boxers as he watched her lick her lips in desire. Could this woman be any sexier? He settled back over her, between her legs, feeling himself brush with her delicately. Harry began to kiss her again and again and again. He wanted her to know how much she was loved. This wasn’t sex; this was sharing love, making love and creating love. This was how Harry loved her. Anna lifted her hips to rub against Harry and he knew that it was time for him to bury himself deep in her.

—

Capturing her lips once more, Harry wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her hips up to get a proper angle. Slowly and carefully, Harry lined himself up and sunk into her easily, her satisfied moan echoing in his ear.

“Are you bigger than before?” Anna breathed as Harry continued to sink into her.

“I don’t think so. Are you tighter?” Harry voice was strained as her warmth enveloped him.

“Don’t think so.” Anna gasped as Harry’s full length settled.

“Harry.” Anna’s fingers grasped at Harry’s back as he reveled in the pleasure her body gave him, he could feel each breath she took, every time a muscles flinched or contracted, he could feel it. Slowly he extracted himself from her before thrusting back into her carefully. A moan started low in his chest and bubbled through his lips as her body worked to accommodate his.

“You feel so…” Harry didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“Keep going.” Anna gasped as he repeated the motions of pulling back and pushing back into her. Harry could feel the sweat pattering his hairline as he pumped into her slowly. It was agonizing but indulgent.

“Anna.” He moaned, his voice gravelly.

“Tell me Harry. Tell me what you feel.” Anna wrapped her ankles around Harry’s hips as he rocked into her, driving him in deeper.

“You feel so…” Again Harry was stumped. “Warm.” It was lame but it was all he could describe. Anna let out a puff of desire before Harry connected their lips. He just wanted to be connected to her as much as possible.

—

Harry’s body was speeding up with the desire for his release and he could hear Anna’s breathing grow more rapid each time he sunk into her. He didn’t want to finish; he wanted to keep feeling this feeling for as long as possible. Anna was leaving scratch marks down his back and it only added to Harry’s pleasure.

“Right there.” Anna suddenly gasped when she twisted her hips slightly. Her body was gripping his so tightly he didn’t know if he could pull out so he pushed in deeper, if at all possible and she squealed in delight.

“Harry.” Her voice was husky and Harry felt himself grow in her.

“Harry, I’m… I’m…” she hummed as Harry pulled back minutely before pushing harder into her. Her hum was cut off with a gasp as she tightened around him again. Her muscles were being pushed to the limit and Harry wasn’t sure how long he could stop himself from coming.

“Harry, just please… faster.” Her sentences were cut short as he stopped her words with his mouth, kissing her hungrily as he picked up his pace. Driving into her with errant want and need, needing to feel all of her, wanting her to fall apart beneath him.  
Her hand worked into his hair, sweeping the sweaty curls from the back of his neck and tugging slightly, not hard, but enough to make Harry moan into her mouth.

Suddenly her muscles gave in and she couldn’t hold it anymore as her orgasm waved through her body. The slickness of their bodies increased as she harshly sucked in air and Harry pumped into her, finally able to let himself go. Her body was still contracting and shuddering around him as he came, hard. Harry felt himself spurt into her, much longer than any previous orgasm he’d had. It just kept going and he couldn’t stop the movement of his body in hers as she gasped for air.  
Slowly Harry came down from his high, opening his eyes to see the loving gaze of her green eyes meeting his. Her lips were plump and swollen, her cheeks flushed with exertion.

“You are so beautiful.” Harry mused before kissing her sweetly.

“So are you.” She replied when they separated, Harry still buried deep inside her.

Harry shook his head as he carefully pulled out of her, their mixed essences coating him and spilling out behind him. Harry, although spent, stiffened at the sight.

“That… was amazing.” Anna finally said as Harry pulled a blanket from the end of the bed over their naked and sweating bodies.

“Definitely beyond the best I’ve had.” Harry hummed as Anna curled into his side.

“Harry?” Anna’s quiet voice betrayed nerves.

“Yes Anna?” Harry shifted his head so that he could see the top of her head.

She tilted her head up, her eyes searching his face before saying something that Harry was not expecting, something he couldn’t believe she was saying, something that made Harry’s stomach drop to the soles of his feet and blush spread across his cheeks.

“I love you Harry.”


	36. LA LA Land

Niall didn’t know what he was doing. Hannah was basically living with him and he didn’t remember asking her to move in. Niall thought that she was only coming for a quick visit, but somehow more of her things were in his drawers and she’d stayed over every night. They were a couple. Somehow they were a couple. Niall didn’t want to be a couple. He didn’t know how to talk to Hannah. He liked her, he really did, but he struggled to see her as anything more than a friend. A friend with benefits at this point. He’d lost Anna. He knew it. She’d been silent since she’d come over and he’d said some awful horrible things to her. Every time he thought about her with Harry his heart hurt. He knew it would happen at some point. Everyone loved Harry. Harry always came first. Niall worked to not let the jealousy overcome him when it came to Harry, but this was too much. He knew it would happen and now Niall was the one that created the pavement that led her to him.

—

“You what?” Harry gasped, his breath catching in his throat.

“I love you Harry. I’m tired of holding that back.” Anna sighed, her voice sounded happy.

“I love you Anna. So much.” Harry peppered kisses all over her face making her squirm and giggle in delight.

“Was this all a ploy to cancel my trip to LA?” Harry laughed as she pressed her heated body against his.

“If it was?” Anna asked cheekily.

“It’s working.” Harry shouted with laughter before kissing her deeper. Anna shifted her body so that she was lying on top of Harry.

“I love you.” Anna blushed pulling back from Harry.

“You are so beautiful.” Harry replied trying hard to keep her focus on her face and not run over her naked body. Anna pushed back onto Harry’s hip and he felt himself growing in arousal again.

“You ready to go again?” Anna asked biting her bottom lip.

“I knew it, it’s all about the sex isn’t it?” Harry smirked at her.

“A bit.” She laughed pinching her fingers together and showing him. “That, and you took care of me and I want to take care of you.” Her voice was husky as she started to kiss down his chest. She paused briefly at his hipbones, nibbling them slightly before taking him into her mouth. Harry let out a huff of pleasure as her lips wrapped around his cock and she pulled him to attention.

—

After much convincing from Harry, he and Anna were walking through the busy London streets after he had talked her into taking her out for dinner on an actual proper date. Anna had insisted that she was happy to stay at home and cook something for the both of them, where Harry had argued that that would mean washing up and they could go out somewhere and someone else could do it. So there they were, walking hand in hand as Harry directed Anna to what had to be the “best burger you’ll ever eat in London”. Anna had again argued that she could probably make the best burger in London, when Harry had picked her up and threatened to walk out with her bare butt naked to get something to eat. Anna had conceded and was allowed to get dressed before they left the house. Finally they stopped in front of an extremely fancy looking restaurant and Anna immediately felt undressed.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked sensing Anna’s reluctance.

“I am… I should have dressed up a bit more.” Anna looked down at her blue jeans and scuffed up shoes.

“I think you look beautiful.” Harry answered honestly.

Anna rolled her eyes as they walked into the restaurant, blushing slightly.

The waiter immediately looked flustered recognizing Harry and sat them in a secluded corner of the room.

“How often do you come here?” Anna laughed after the waiter placed the napkin on her lap for her and scurried off to get some menus.

“Not often.” Harry smiled.

“Must be the fame then.” Anna rolled her eyes before thanking the waiter for her menu to which he beamed in response before leaving them again.

“I think your presence is making them nervous.” Anna noted watching the waiter whisper to one of his work mates.

“You sure that’s not you that’s doing that?” Harry asked picking at his bottom lip.

“What do you mean?” Anna directed her attention back to Harry.

“I did say that you looked very beautiful tonight.” Harry raised his eyebrows at her. Anna would have laughed thinking that he was being corny if he didn’t sound so serious.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Do you really think that they would have seated me without you here?” Anna looked at him sarcastically.

“Of course. You do look very beautiful.” Harry nodded earnestly.

“Ok stop. You are going to make my head explode with all the compliments.” Anna shook her head smiling and looking down at the menu in front of her.

“It’s all true, love.” Harry said quietly before looking down at his own menu and contemplating what he should have.

—

“I told you, you are making them flustered.” Anna half whispered as the waiter left their table visibly shaking after placing their orders in front of them.

“I’m not doing anything.” Harry shrugged nervously.

“Of course your not. You’re just being you.” Anna laughed shaking her head at him.

“How… how do I not do that?” Harry asked, his brow furrowing in thought.

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s just that… you know…” Anna waved her hand at him in a sweeping motion.

“What?” Harry was dumbfounded.

“You’re… you’re just “The Harry Styles” is all. They don’t know you and you could throw a tantrum at any moment.” Anna shrugged.

“Throw… throw a tantrum?” Harry sounded aghast. “Do people think that I would do that?”

“No of course not sweetheart. But you know… you’re a celebrity. Anything could happen.” Anna tried explaining.

“I’m not a celebrity.” Harry shook his head, his face falling.

“I know you don’t like the word Harry. But that’s what you are. People know you.” Anna said gently reaching across the table and taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

“You sound like Lou.” Harry sighed.

“Is Lou right?” Anna asked smiling.

“Mostly.”

“There you go then.” Anna grinned, separating their joined hands as the food was brought to their table.

Harry shook his head smirking at her before looking down at his burger.

“I can’t believe you didn’t get a burger.” He said picking his up in two hands and taking a massive bite.

“If you put Margherita pizza on a menu, I’m going to order Margherita pizza.” Anna replied picking up a slice and beginning to eat.

Harry shook his head again grinning at her with a mouth full of food.

—

“What do you want to do about the paps outside?” Harry asked when they’d finished their dinner.

“How are you so sure there will be some?” Anna asked wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“Well first of all, I can see them…” Harry laughed.

“Oh right.” Anna grinned, folding up the napkin and putting it on her empty plate and turning in her chair to glance behind her briefly.

“What do you usually do?”

“What do you mean?”

“What else could I mean? What do you usually do in these situations when you are with someone?” Anna clarified.

“I’m not usually in these situations. Usually I am by myself.” Harry played with his bottom lip studying Anna carefully.

“Well what did you do with Kelly?” Anna shrugged.

“Well she always wanted to take the photos, so we just went out there and I would… umm… pull her along I guess.” Harry thought about it for a bit. “It all depends on you really.”

“What do you mean?” Anna asked her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Well. If you don’t want to be seen with me then we can go out separately…” Harry offered watching as a camera flash went off in the window of the restaurant.

“Can we go out together?” Anna asked awkwardly, her hands fiddling on the table nervously.

“Like a couple?” Harry asked trying to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“Aren’t we?” Anna asked blushing.

“We are?” Harry was surprised but felt a warm flush over his body as she spoke.

“I mean… no… not if you… don’t think of us like… that.” Anna stumbled over her words before Harry cut her off.

“I want to. I do. I just didn’t know if you wanted that. I would love that.” He blurted out quickly.

“I wouldn’t have told you I loved you if I didn’t mean it Harry.” Anna was nibbling on her bottom lip, still nervous and awkward about the conversation that they were having.

“I love you Anna. So much.” Harry grinned reaching across the table and untwisting her fingers from their nervous fiddling.

“Love you too.” Anna mumbled.

“Well come on.” Harry said standing up from the table, taking her hand in his and pulling her up from the table. “Let’s go be a couple then shall we?”

—

Niall was shaking from anger. Pictures of Anna and Harry holding hands and leaving a restaurant were all over the news. It was the same jealous feeling that he got when they were together and he saw pictures of them together, only now it was one hundred times worse knowing that they were together. He needed to get out of the house. Calling his assistant he organized a car and a day out of the house.

—

“Who decided it was a good idea for you to go to LA?” Anna sighed through the phone.

“Who decided it was a good idea for you not to come with me?” Harry countered grinning.

“Well it was a bit of late notice.” Anna shrugged.

“Not my fault you didn’t pick up your phone when I called, or answer any of my texts.” Harry answered cheekily.

“Yeah and look where that got us.” Anna laughed.

“Where’s that?”

“My boyfriend is all the way in LA and it’s raining in London.” Anna laughed. Harry’s stomach double flipped with the word ‘boyfriend’.

“It’s only a couple of weeks.”

“A couple of weeks too long if you ask me.” Anna grumbled making Harry laugh again.

“I told you that I can fly you out here.”

“Yeah… I know.” Anna sighed.

“Wait, are you actually considering it?” Harry asked surprised.

“I might be.” Anna answered after a long pause.

“Really? When? When do you want to come? I’ll book some tickets now. We can have a small break in LA if you want?” Harry spoke faster than Anna had ever heard him.

“Calm down. I was just thinking about it.”

“Thinking about it is basically confirmation for me.” Harry’s grin spread across his face. “How about I fly you out of Wednesday? That gives you two days of preparation?”

“Harry… I don’t like you paying for my flights. I can look at them later.” Anna sighed. Oh to be an international pop star and not have to worry about flights.

“You’re coming to see me. I’m buying the flights for you Anna.” Harry said stubbornly.

“Who said I’m coming to see you?” Anna teased.

“Ha, Ha.” Harry laughed sarcastically. “I’m buying your flights. I’ll call you with the details. Or Nicole will call you…”

“Who is Nicole?” Anna interrupted.

“My assistant?” Harry answered. “Have you not met Nicole?”

“Not ever.” Anna replied surprised. “How long has Nicole been with you?”

“I don’t know…. Six months maybe.” Harry tried to think back to when he hired her.

“Really? You’ve never mentioned her before.”

“I’m sure I have.” Harry pondered.

“Never.” Anna shook her head to emphasize her point even though Harry couldn’t see her.

“Oh well there’s… you know… there’s nothing going on with us.” Harry said slowly, nervously.

“Harry!” Anna shrieked startled.

“What?” He asked shocked.

“Why did you have to go to that place?” Anna laughed.

“Well… I just… I just wanted to get that out of the way… so that there was no question.” Harry was embarrassed.

“I didn’t think that there was.” Anna laughed, “I’ve just not heard you talk about her before.”

“Well… now that’s cleared up.” Harry cleared his throat nervously.

“What happened to Todd?” Anna asked curiously.

“Oh he left the same time Kelly did. I didn’t really like him anyway.” Harry answered honestly.

“Oh. I liked Todd.” Anna said quietly.

“You did?” Harry asked surprised.

“Yeah, he was always nice to me.”

“As he should be.” Harry said seriously.

“No, I mean like… everyone is nice to me. But Todd would go out of his way to say Hi and talk to me.” Anna explained.

“Maybe he liked you.” Harry suggested, recognizing the jealousy in his own voice and hoping that Anna didn’t pick up on it.

“I highly doubt that.” Anna scoffed.

“You never know.” Harry tried to laugh off the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach and the though of Todd and Anna together.

“We did talk a bit after Kelly left, come to think of it.” Anna said quietly.

“You what?”

“Yeah, when we were talking properly again. We texted a few times.” Anna replied.

Harry was speechless.

“But it was nothing more than that. Todd as a romantic interest- No thanks.” Anna laughed.

There was still silence from Harry.

“Harry? You still with me?” Anna asked cautiously.

“Yeah. M’ here.” Harry’s voice betrayed him.

“Just so you know Harry. I have no interested in dating any of your assistants. Only you.” Anna reassured him.

Harry smiled warmly. “So I’ll get Nicole to organize some tickets then?” Harry suggested.

“If you must.” Anna sighed sarcastically.

“I must. I must indeed.”

—

“After reports of Harry Styles with a woman on Sunday night in London, it seems the pop heart throb has fled to LA. Was this a one-night stand gone wrong? The two seems quite cozy over dinner, even holding hands while leaving the restaurant, contrary to Styles’ previous relationships. The woman seen with Styles has previously been seen with the band, thought to be part of their entourage and previously seen locking lips with fellow band member Niall Horan. The twisted web that is One Direction continues to weave in an unlikely way. Will the mystery brunette pop up again? Will she see Harry in LA? What does Niall have to say about this? Niall was last seen blowing off some steam at the local driving range, even taking a few photos with fans before posting one of his own on Instagram. Stick with us Directioners and we’ll try to get to the bottom of this latest gossip.” Harry flicked off the television as he waited for Anna to confirm that she’d boarded the flight. She hadn’t responded in about thirty minutes, and Harry assumed she was checking in. He wondered if she’d seen any of the reports of them together, or saw what some of the fans were saying about them. He hadn’t logged on to any of his social media, too afraid of what he would see. He could tweet out a song lyric, just to keep them guessing. Or he could just leave it for a while. Pictures would soon surface or either Anna landing in LA or them together in LA. It didn’t matter what people said. He loved Anna and she loved him. That was all that mattered. He thought about calling Niall and talking to him about what he’d said to Anna, but he really didn’t want to make it worse. Harry’s phone buzzed beside him.

-On the plane. See you soon. xx- From Anna. Harry smiled goofily at the message before replying to wish her a good flight. Anna was flying to LA to see him. Harry. He couldn’t believe his luck.

—

The flight wasn’t long and Anna had done it before. Harry had insisted on getting first class tickets, not that that surprised Anna. She freshened herself up in the bathroom before heading to where Harry told her that a car would be waiting for her. Washing her face and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Anna took a moment to think back on what her life had become. Never in a million years did she think that this was where she would be in her life. She never thought that she would date Niall, and when she was, she thought that they would be together for much longer than they were. Now she was dating Harry. She had no idea where that was going to go. She didn’t want to over think anything, but being Anna, that’s exactly what she was going to do. Yes they had time off from their insane schedule now, but what about four months from now when they went back to work. When they were back recording an album, or touring around the world. Anna had a job; a job that she loved and that she didn’t want to give up. Harry would never ask her to, she knew that, but they would go through all the same hurdles that she and Niall did. At least there was no Kelly this time around. How much would things have changed if Kelly weren’t in the picture at all? Anna’s thoughts were interrupted but a female voice behind her.

“Excuse me?”

Anna turned quickly to see a young woman about her age staring at her.

“Can I help you?” Anna asked politely, grabbing a paper hand towel and drying off her face.

“I’m so sorry. I thought that I recognized you from somewhere.” She answered shyly.

“Oh. No bother.” Anna smiled at her and turned to throw the used towel into the bin.

“I’m sorry. But you just look so familiar. Do I know you?” The girl persisted, her eyebrows scrunching with confusion.

“Erm. I don’t think so.” Anna studied her face trying to pull anything from her recollection. The girl was American, Anna didn’t know a lot of American’s, at least the ones she did, were not casual acquaintances and she knew them well enough to recognize them.

The girl studied Anna for a few more seconds before shaking her head. “I’m sorry to bother you.”

“It’s no problem at all really.” Anna smiled, bending to pick up her bags preparing to go out to the car.

The girl was still concentrating on her face trying to remember where she’d seen Anna’s face before. Anna smiled at her one last time nodding her head, as she existed the bathroom. It was as she was exiting, that another woman walked past her, a magazine in her hand, that the stranger’s mouth dropped as she looked between the front of the magazine and Anna’s face. Anna looked down as the woman past and saw the title “Harry Styles New Fling”, right under it was a picture of her and Harry exiting the restaurant. Anna immediately blushed and exited quickly as the stranger looked as though she was about to start speaking again.

—

Anna climbed into the car that Harry had ordered for her shrieking in delight and surprise as Harry was waiting in the back for her.

“What are you doing?” Anna laughed, tears springing behind her eyes.

“I came to pick you up!” Harry replied happily, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

“I know. I can see that doofus!” Anna grinned happily. “Come here and kiss me.”

—

“So did you want to go out tonight?” Harry asked as he opened the front door to his house and following Anna in.

“Erm.” Anna paused, looking around the room. “I kind of wanted to stay in tonight if that’s ok?”

“Oh.” Harry hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” Anna asked turning around to face him.

“Well… I kind of made some plans to go see some people.” Harry said his voice quiet.

“Right.” Anna laughed. “So when you were asking me. That was just a formality?”

“No. No. I can cancel if you want.”

Anna could tell from the look on his face that he didn’t want to cancel.

“You know what, it’s fine. You go out. You don’t need me there.” Anna said stroking his arm gently.

“Really? Are you sure?” Harry’s eye lit up.

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll just have a quiet night in.” Anna nodded.

“I feel bad. I don’t want to leave you here all alone.” Harry pouted, his bottom lip jutting out slightly.

“Honestly. It is really ok. You go have fun. I will… chill out here.” Anna nodded again, smiling.

“You’re going to chill out here?” Harry bundled Anna into his arms.

“Yep.” Anna replied popping the ‘p’.

“If you’re sure.” Harry sighed kissing the top of her head. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

—

“Ok. I’m heading off.” Harry called out from the hallway as Anna lay on his massive bed.

“Kay.” She called back.

“Aren’t you going to show me out?” Harry asked leaning on the doorway and watching her.

“But then I would have to move from the bed.” Anna whined.

“But then you could give me a kiss.” Harry was pouting again.

“You could just come here.” Anna suggested holding out her arms to him.

“Hmm.” Harry hummed, playing with his lips as he thought about it.

“Come on you big lug.” Anna laughed. Harry grinned and ran over to the bed jumping on top of her making her laugh louder.

“Come on kiss me.” Harry laughed rubbing his face all over Anna’s.

“Ge’ off ‘arry!” Anna’s muffled voice tried to yell out.

“You love me.” Harry mumbled as he peppered kisses all over her face.

“I do. Now go away.” Anna laughed before lightly kissing him on the lips.

“I love you.” Harry grinned, kissing her again before getting off the bed.

“I know.” Anna smiled as she watched him walk out the room.

—

Anna rolled over in her sleep as she heard the bedroom door creak open. She rubbed her tired eyes to see Harry stumbling around the bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Anna laughed sitting up in bed.

“Shit!” Harry exclaimed jumping backwards.

“Well hello to you to.” Anna said through a yawn.

“I didn’t know you were awake.” Harry said struggling to take off his shoes and landing on the bed, hard.

“I wasn’t. But you are not as quiet as you think.”

“Oh right sorry.” Harry replied abashedly.

“It’s ok.” Anna said yawning again. “How was your night?”

“So good Anna Banana. I wish you were there.” Harry said happily, standing from the bed and starting to remove his clothes.

“I’m glad you had fun.” Anna smiled watching him in the dark room.

“You’re going to come out tomorrow night right? I want you to meet some of my friends.” Harry said, almost naked.

“Yeah. I’ll come out tomorrow.” Anna nodded snuggling back down into to the covers. She felt the bed dip as Harry curled up next to her.

“You smell like smoke and alcohol Harry.” Anna said scrunching up her nose as Harry wiggled to get closer to her.

“You don’t love my musk?” Harry laughed kissing her neck.

“Not right now.” Anna laughed shivering from the contact.

“Fine. I’ll go shower.” Harry huffed, kissing her again before getting out of the bed.

“Love you.” Anna sung hearing Harry laugh as he shut the door to the bathroom.

—

Anna was jolted away as Harry tripped and landed on the bed.

“Sorry!” He whispered, sounding drunker than he did before.

“I just got back to sleep.” Anna groaned as Harry shuffled around in the bed trying to get comfortable.

“Sorry love.” Harry mumbled finding her body and pulling it close to him. “Seeing as you’re awake…”

Anna’s eyes snapped open as she felt Harry’s hips swivel against her.

“No Harry.” She laughed loudly.

“Come on.” Harry’s muffled voice replied as he placed soft kisses against her neck.

“No. You just woke me up.” Anna was grinning despite her annoyance.

“But I haven’t seen you in so long.” He groaned between kisses.

“It’s been a week.” Anna laughed.

“So long.” Harry repeated.

“Harry! No!” Anna shook her head as she felt his large hands start to creep underneath her shirt.

“Annnnaaaaa.” Harry voice whined.

“No. I love you but I’m tired.”

“You don’t even have to do anything!” Harry reasoned giggling.

“Oh. Such a romantic.” Anna said sarcastically and halting his wandering hands with her own.

“Ok fine. It’s your fault you’re so sexy.” Harry said lowly, his voice rough with tiredness.

“I fully accept the blame for that.” Anna smiled as Harry kissed her cheek gently.

“Goodnight love.” Harry breathed softly.

“Goodnight Harry.” Anna smiled feeling Harry’s breath slow down and she slowly drifted back to sleep.


	37. Limits shmimits

“Shit, shit, shit.” Harry ran around the house cursing.

“What’s wrong?” Anna called out from the living room.

“I’m late.” Harry yelled back. She could hear him moving quickly through the house to where she was.

“Late to what?” Anna stood up from the couch as he entered the room.

“I’ve a meeting. I forgot about it.” Harry said, his eyes running over her.

“You’ve got a meeting? I thought you were on break?” Anna asked frowning.

“Break from tour. Not from meetings.” Harry shook her head.

“Oh right.” Anna replied quietly, her face reddening slightly.

“You can come with me if you want. It won’t take long.” Harry’s eyes were searching around the room until they landed on a brown leather bound journal.

“Is… is it just you going to be there?” Anna asked quietly. She really didn’t want to see Niall and she had no idea if he would be there.

“Yeah. Just me… and some labels.” Harry paused his eyes searching her face. “None of the boys will be there.” He added.

“It’s really fine. I’ll be here when you come back.”

“Ok. I’ll be as quick as I can. An hour or two max.” Harry said reluctantly. “I love you.” Harry briefly kissed her on the lips before he was out the door and in his car.

—

Four hours later and Anna still hadn’t heard from Harry. She thought about calling him, but she didn’t want to seem needy. Of course every thought under the sun had gone through her head. Was he is? Was he hurt? Was he cheating on her? Did he forget she was here? She suppressed her anxiety and decided to go for a run to shake off some of the nerves she was feeling. She would take her phone and found a spare set of keys near the front door that unlocked it. She tied her hair up and set about the streets of LA, an area that she had absolutely no clue what direction she was heading in.

—

Harry cursed as he got back in the car. He was so used to being by himself that he’d completely forgotten about Anna and went out for a drink with Ben, one of the assistants at the clothing line he was visiting. Time went so quickly and before he knew it, the sun was starting to set. Harry checked his phone. There was only one message and two missed calls from Anna. –Hope you’re ok. – That was it. He immediately dialed her number, as he pulled out of the parking garage, frustrated when it went straight to voicemail. It surprised him that there was only one message. She hadn’t called incessantly; she hadn’t sent several messages, just the one. Harry was kicking himself with his own stupidity as he pulled into his driveway and leapt out of the car. Maybe he should have brought her flowers, or wine or something to apologize for being so stupid, but all he really wanted to do was get back to her to apologize face to face.

—

Harry entered the house to find only the kitchen light on.

“Anna?” He called out, to the seemingly empty house. He walked cautiously through the hallways searching for her and coming up empty. Her bag was still in the bedroom so she hadn’t left the country at least. Sighing heavily he pulled out his phone and dialed her number again. Straight to voicemail for the second time. Harry’s heart leapt to his throat. What if she was hurt? What if she went looking for him? What if she was lost somewhere and had no way to contact him? Harry didn’t know what to do. Did he go out looking for her? It’s not like he could call anyone that knew her. So far only he knew that she was here. There’s been some talk in some of the gossip magazines that she had arrived, but nothing was confirmed. Harry decided to send her a message. – I’m so sorry. I’m home now. Where are you? – Harry sent the message, his heart in his throat as he waited anxiously for her reply.

—

Harry was pacing in the bedroom when he heard the front door open. It had been almost 40 minutes since he sent the text message. He’d tried calling three times since then, each time going to voicemail.

“Anna?” He called out running down the stairs. She didn’t reply but he could hear someone moving around in the kitchen.

“Anna.” He called out again entering the room.

“Anna!” He sighed in relief, her back to him. “Where have you been?” She was standing at the sink, running a towel under some water.

“Out for a run.” She answered shortly, she was dressed in shorts and running shoes and her skin looked flushed.

“I’ve been so worried. You didn’t answer my calls.”

Anna shrugged as she turned off the faucet and wrung the excess water from the towel.

“Anna, please.” Harry reached out to her shoulder and spun her around to look at him, his gasp caught in his throat.

“What happened?” His voice trembled and he worked to clear the lump in his throat.

“I tripped.” Anna shrugged again out of his grip. There was a cut on her lip that appeared to be quite deep, as well as a bruise forming on her right cheekbone. There were a few scratches on her arms and a graze on her elbow.

“You tripped?” Harry asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

“Yep.” Anna replied as she dabbed at her lip and winced.

“What? How?” Harry was perplexed, he wanted to help her, but every time he raised his hand to help she shrugged out of the way.

“It’s a fairly simple concept. I hit an uneven bit of the ground and then I was on the ground.” Anna took the cloth away from her lip and studied the blood on it. “I’m going to go and have a shower.”

Harry stood speechless in the kitchen watching her walk away from him. It didn’t look like she’d tripped. It looked like she’d gotten in a fight somewhere. It looked like someone had hit her.

—

Anna let the hot water relax her aching muscles. The water stung her elbow and face and a few tears escaped her eyes, mixing with the cleansing water. She stretched out her arms and legs trying to avoid the stiffness after running before turning off the water and stepping out. Anna looked at her body in the mirror, a bruise starting to form on her rib cage and hip. She sighed before grabbing a towel and gingerly drying her body. Harry didn’t need to see the bruises. She would cover them up. Anna drew her wet hair into a messy bun and started to do her make up, covering up the darkening bruise on her cheek and trying to lessen the severity of the cut on her lip.  
Happy with her appearance after drying off her hair and applying a deep plum lipstick she left the bathroom and quickly made her way to the bedroom to change, breathing a sigh of relief that Harry wasn’t waiting in there for her.

—

Harry heard the water shut off in the bathroom and a while later heard her footsteps run across the floor. He was still standing in the kitchen, not sure what he should be doing. He still needed to apologize to her for being so late, and he really wanted to find out what had happened to her and why she wouldn’t tell him. Harry’s phone buzzed next to him and he saw and text message from Jeff. – Still keen for tonight? Can’t wait to meet Anna. – Harry sighed as he picked up his phone and started to reply. They weren’t going anywhere tonight, not after what happened with Anna. Harry looked up as Anna entered the room. She looked absolutely stunning, no trace of injury about her. Had he imagined the entire thing?

“Anna.” He gulped arousal running through his body.

“Shouldn’t you be ready?” She asked innocently.

“You still want to go out?” He asked surprised.

“You said we would. Don’t you keep your word?” She asked arching an eyebrow at him.

“Anna.” Harry took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry about today. I just completely lost track of time. The… the meeting went for longer than I expected.” Harry mumbled out the apology. Anna didn’t say anything; she just continued to look at him.

“I really am sorry Anna.”

“Okay.” She replied shortly.

“Okay?” Harry repeated.

“Okay.” Anna confirmed crossing her arms across her chest.

“Am… am I forgiven? I really am sorry.”

“You need to get dressed if we are going out Harry.” Anna replied, her gaze not moving from him.

“Anna. Are you ok?”

“Fine. Go get dressed and we can go.” Anna sighed heavily.

“We don’t have to go. We can have a night in.” Harry offered taking a step towards her cautiously.

“Whatever you want Harry. You just tell me what you want.”

“I just want you to be ok.” Harry answered taking another step towards her.

“I told you I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you.” Harry shook his head as he stood in front of her.

“I’m telling you that I am fine. Do you want to go out or not?”

“What happened when you went out?” Harry asked.

“Don’t answer a question with a question.” Anna sighed.

“Anna. Tell me what happened.”

“I told you. I went out for a run. I tripped. I am here now.” Anna shook her head this time not meeting his gaze. “Please Harry, just tell me if you want to go out or not. I don’t care either way.” He voice sounded exhausted.

“Ok. Ok. I just… Ok.” Harry tenderly took Anna into his arms, inhaling deeply the smell of her shampoo, grateful that she didn’t pull away from him. “I’ll go get dressed. But if you change your mind, you just tell me. Or if we get there and you want to leave immediately, we can. Nothing is more important that you.” Harry kissed the top of her head gently before moving away to go and get dressed.

—

Anna took a deep breath as Harry exited the room. She would be fine tonight. She wouldn’t be affected by Harry being missing for hours and not responding to her, or be affected after tripping and falling in the worst and maybe the most embarrassing way possible. She was going to be fine.

—

Soon they were in Harry’s car, heading to wherever they were meeting his friends. So far this was not the trip she had envisioned going on to see Harry in LA, but right now she was just happy to be spending time with him. Anna was still slightly annoyed that he was gone for five hours, not the two he’d initially said, but he’d apologized and she needed to move on. Harry hesitantly reached across the car to hold her hand while he was driving, happy that she didn’t pull away. He noted some raw skin on the heel of her hand, another injury he was mentally tallying.

“You sure you’re happy to go out tonight?” Harry asked for what must have been the millionth time since they’d got into the car.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Anna shrugged.

“As soon as you want to leave you tell me and we are gone.” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed seriously.

“Yeah I know. It will be fine.” Anna shrugged again. Harry wanted to get her talking again, get her laughing instead of these short responses that he was getting.

“So how was the run?” He asked hesitantly. He didn’t know if he should bring it up again as she’d cut off all conversation about it before.

“Was fine, until the falling bit.” Anna answered staring out the window at the buildings as they drove slowly past, caught in traffic.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Harry prompted.

“Not much to talk about.” Anna shrugged and then sighed heavily. “You were gone and didn’t reply to my message, so I went out for a run to calm my mind down. I was coming down a hill and I landed wrong on my foot and twisted my ankle and landed mostly on my face, on someone’s boulders out the front of their house.” Anna cleared her throat slightly. “That’s why it took me so long to get back. I got a bit disorientated and couldn’t walk properly for a bit.”

“Anna. Why didn’t you call me?” Harry chastised.

“I did.” She answered simply.

“Oh.” Harry bit his bottom lip, unsure of what to say next. “I’m sorry that I didn’t answer.”

“You were too busy.” Anna shrugged still looking out the window as they pulled up on the street curb. There were a lot of photographers around and a line of people extending around the block waiting to get into the club.

“Anna. I’m so sorry that I made you feel like that. I’m never too busy for you. I got caught up. It will never happen again.” Harry said with sincerity, his two larger hands engulfing her smaller one.

“It’s fine Harry. Really. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Anna smiled a tightlipped smile before extracting her hand and opening her door to step out onto the street.

Harry felt awful. She’d tried to call him and he couldn’t even pick up the phone for her. What was wrong with him? He was going to spend the rest of the night, the week, the month, making sure that she knew how much he loved her. That he would always try and put her first.

—

The cameras that turned towards her, initially blinded Anna as their flashes went off in rapid succession. They didn’t know who she was, but if she was important enough to turn up on the street in front of the club, she warranted having her photo taken. The flashes seemed to increase as Harry walked around the front of the car and casually put his arm around her waist.

“You ok?” He whispered lowly as she kept her head down.

“Kind of blind.” Anna laughed trying to look up at him.

“Come on, we’ll go in.” Harry smiled down at her, relieved to see her smile for the first time since he’d seen her in the morning.

The photographers called out Harry’s name, asking for a statement, a wave, a hello, anything that would identify the woman that he was holding so protectively. Anna walked easily allowing Harry to guide her, keeping her head down and trying not to trip. The doors to the club opened as they walked towards them and the booming of the bass echoed around the streets.

“That was a different experience.” Harry murmured to Anna once they were safely inside.

“Different how? Don’t you get that all the time?” Anna asked confused looking up at him, his arm still protectively curled around her waist.

“Well… I mean… never mind.” Harry shook his head as if he was trying to clear a thought from it.

“No tell me.” Anna pressed, standing on her tiptoes to get closer to him, with the deafening music beating around them.

“It’s nothing. Just with Kelly, she used to stop and want to have photo’s taken. You just walked right through. You did… you did what I do.” Harry sounded slightly perplexed, like all people wanted to stop and have photos taken.

“Ahh.” Anna hummed stepping back from him slightly, as much as she could with him still holding her tightly.

“I didn’t mean it as… I didn’t…” Harry was speechless; he was forever saying the wrong thing around Anna, especially today.

“I get it.” Anna nodded quickly. “Just know. I’m not like Kelly, at all. I’m not her. So if you want to compare us… this… us…” Anna indicated between them. “This isn’t going to go anywhere.”

“No I know Anna. I know. You aren’t Kelly. You’re nothing like her. It’s just… you are refreshing. You are what I need.” Harry stumbled over his words as he tried to get them right. He could see Anna’s eyes searching his face.

“What I mean to say is,” Harry took a deep breath, “I love you Anna. I’m so glad you are here with me.”

Anna smiled and immediately winced with the pain in her cheek.

“I love you Harry. Just hurts to smile right now.” She replied quietly.

“You’re going to have that angry pout thing that models have covered then aren’t you.” Harry laughed, feeling lighter than he had all afternoon.

“That’s the aim.” Anna rolled her eyes as Harry pulled her closer to him and started moving them through the throng of people swaying to the pulsing music.

—

“Anna this is Jeff and this is Glenne.” Harry introduced as two people stood up from their seats beaming at him and Anna.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Anna.” Anna replied politely holding out her hand to them.

“Finally!” Jeff laughed loudly shaking her hand before Glenne. “You’ve no idea how long we’ve been waiting to meet you.” He said, his voice carrying over the music.

“Oh?” Anna replied surprised.

“He’s right, Anna this, Anna that.” Glenne laughed as she took her seat again and indicated the chairs opposite. Harry held onto Anna’s hand as they sat down.

“Oh really?” Anna looked at Harry smiling slightly. Harry shook his head while grinning but Anna could see the flush on his cheeks.

“Absolutely. You should have seen him last night.” Jeff continued where Glenne had left off. “One drink into this lightweight and he might have come home and proposed to you.”

Anna laughed, “I highly doubt that.”

“Well then lets test it out. Harry you’ve got the first round.” Jeff laughed loudly and pulled Harry out of his chair towards the bar.

—

“So Anna. I feel like I know you.” Glenne moved seats so that she was sitting next to Anna. “Harry’s told us almost everything.”

“Well that’s embarrassing.” Anna laughed, wincing slightly as she remembered her cheek.

“You ok?” Glenne asked not missing the pain spread across Anna’s face.

“Oh it’s nothing. I was… not never mind it’s stupid.” Anna shook her head, her smile small.

“What?” Glenne asked grinning at her.

“I just went for a run this afternoon and I tripped and I fell… mostly on my face.” Anna said in embarrassment covering her face.

“You what? Are you ok?” Glenne’s hands fluttered lightly on her shoulder.

“I’m fine. Really. I just bruised myself pretty well and it hurts to smile. Mostly I just feel like an idiot.” Anna shook her head, still embarrassed.

“No need to be embarrassed sweetheart. We’ve all done it.” Glenne said kindly.

“Really? You’ve been out running and fallen on your face?” Anna asked skeptically.

“Well… no not that.” Glenne laughed lightly and Anna found herself joining in.

—

“She’s hot.” Jeff said to Harry while they waiting at the bar.

“Man, shut up.” Harry laughed pushing him lightly.

“I’m serious though. She looks really good.”

“Did you think I was lying?” Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well no. But you have been known to exaggerate.” Jeff laughed clapping him on the shoulder.

“When have I exaggerated?” Harry asked in mock horror.

Jeff raised an eyebrow sarcastically at him. “Ever heard of a young lady named Kelly?”

“No doesn’t ring a bell.” Harry said shaking his head as the bar tender approached.

—

Anna gratefully took the cold glass that Harry handed her as he sat down. Glenne had been making her laugh and the tightness of her cheek was increasing. She could understand why Harry liked Glenne. She was easy to talk to, immediately made Anna feel comfortable and had a way of completely focusing on whatever Anna was talking about. Anna didn’t really know Jeff, but if he was anything like Glenne she was sure that they would be friends in no time.

“What were you talking about while we were gone?” Jeff asked loudly as he sat down and put his arm around Glenne.

“You obviously.” Glenne rolled her eyes dramatically, smirking at Anna.

“Good things I assume.” Jeff grinned at her, love was written all over his face.

“No.” Glenne replied innocently causing Anna to start laughing and snort into her drink.

—

“You doing ok?” Harry whispered to Anna as Glenne and Jeff left to go to the bar.

“’M fine.” Anna smiled at him. The pain in her face was dulling.

“You really scared me today you know.” Harry’s voice was tender as he stroked her arm softly.

“So did you.” Anna turned so that she was facing him properly.

“What do you mean?” Harry frowned at her, his lips were pursed.

“You didn’t tell me where you were today. You didn’t answer your phone. You didn’t reply to my message.” Anna replied quietly. “I’m in another country Harry. I don’t know where I am or what I’m doing here. So when you disappear for hours and you don’t answer me. I just…” Anna sighed heavily shaking her head. “I get worried.”

“I told you I was at a meeting.” Harry defended.

“Yes. But you also said an hour or two tops.” Anna studied his face as he looked away.

“I’m sorry Anna. I really am.”

Anna nodded. “I know you are. I just…. I came out here to see you and I don’t feel like I’ve done that yet. I don’t want to be that clingy girlfriend Harry. I’m not that kind of person.”

“I know you aren’t Anna. I’m sorry.” Harry looked down upset.

“It’s ok. Just… can I spend some time with you tomorrow?” Anna asked shyly.

“Of course Love. Just me and you tomorrow. No one else.” Harry nodded meeting her gaze again.

“Thank you Harry.” Anna smiled.

“Thank you Anna.” Harry grinned before kissing her briefly.

—

“I’m sorry for scaring you today.” Anna murmured after a while.

Harry bit his lip his eyes searching Anna’s face.

“I was angry and I needed to get out of the house.”

“I get it. It’s my fault. Just next time, please just tell me where you are, or where you’re going.”

The pain in Harry’s voice cut through Anna.

“I will. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“It’s ok.” Harry’s grin lit up his whole face. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Anna repeated smiling at him before kissing him again.

“Is your lip alright?” Harry asked.

“You can always kiss it better.” Anna grinned as Harry pulled her chin gently towards him to kiss her again.

—

“Are we interrupting something?” Glenne asked loudly making them jump and pull apart.

“Yes.” Harry grinned as he put his arm around Anna, pleased when she shuffled into him.

“Well, well. Aren’t you feisty tonight.” Glenne laughed as she sat down opposite Anna before pulling her into conversation.

“How long are you here for?”

“Two weeks.” Anna answered feeling Harry’s fingers running lightly up and down her back.

“That’s hardly long enough!” Glenne exclaimed.

“What do you mean?” Anna laughed lightly.

“Well, I’ve only just met you tonight and I already want to hang out with you.” Glenne laughed loudly. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow!”

“Ahh…” Anna looked at Harry.

“What about the day after? We’re having a day together tomorrow.” Harry intervened.

“Harry you get her for two weeks!” Glenne pouted.

“Not tomorrow Glenne. Day after. I promise.” Anna smiled as Harry kissed her on the forehead.

“Fiiiiiine.” Glenne sighed dramatically, making both Anna and Harry laugh.

—

“You feeling ok?” Harry’s voice was slurred slightly as he wrapped an arm around Anna’s waist with the intention of helping her into the waiting car.

“I’m fine.” Anna replied brightly holding Harry’s hand against her.

“Did… did you even drink anything?” Harry asked as he almost fell into the car after her.

“Yes. You bought me drinks.” Anna laughed as Harry struggled with his seatbelt.

“But… but you’re not even a little bit…” Harry slurred his face closer to Anna’s than was necessary.

“Yes, because I can handle my drinks honey.” Anna laughed again.

“Whaadid you jus call me?” Harry laughed loudly.

“What?” Anna blushed as the car lurched forward onto the busy road.

“You called me Honey.” Harry giggled sliding across the back seats as far as he could to bundle Anna under his arm.

“So what if I did.” Anna grinned.

“I like it.” Harry declared loudly.

“You aren’t even going to remember this in the morning.” Anna shook her head smiling.

“I will remember everything. I’m really not that drunk.” Harry stumbled slightly over his words.

“Ok. Sure thing.” Anna smiled again as Harry rested his head on her shoulder and they continued the drive back to Harry’s.

—

Harry woke up and his eyes stung, he tasted metal in his mouth and his head was thumping. He groaned as he rolled over and kicked out his legs from the tangle of sheets.

“Violent in the morning aren’t you?”

A voice laughed from next to him. Harry squinted open his eyes surprised to see Anna lying next to him.

“What are you doing here?” His voice croaked out, he couldn’t stop the smile on his face as she smiled back at him.

“Where else would I be?” She asked confused her eyebrows scrunching together.

“I mean in my bed.” Harry untangled one his hands from the sheets and rubbed his eyes.

“Should I be in the guest room?” Anna laughed lightly.

“No…” Suddenly Harry clicked at why she was in his bed, with him in LA. She’d come to see him. They went out last night. He really passed out last night.

“Did… did you forget that I was here… visiting you?” Anna asked confused, enjoyment clear in her voice.

“Maybe for a second.” Harry admitted grinning at her.

“I can’t believe you.” Anna laughed rolling over and grabbing a pillow and smacking him in the head with it.

“It was only for a second!” Harry defended pushing the pillow off his face.

“I can’t believe you.” Anna laughed.

“Be gentle with me. I’m tender this morning.” Harry groaned burying his face into the bed.

“That probably had to do with the drinking last night.” Anna shook her head grinning at him.

“Why aren’t you poorly?” Harry asked, his voice muffled by the sheets.

“Because I know my limits.”

“Limits shmimits.” Harry sighed.

“You’re a right grump in the morning aren’t you.” Anna laughed as Harry wiggled closer to her.

“My head hurts.” Harry complained pouting at her.

“Do you want me to get you some water?” Anna asked as he snuggled into her neck feeling him shake his head no at her question.

“Do you want breakfast?” Again Harry shook his head no.

“Do… I don’t know… what do you want me to do?” Anna asked.

“I just want to cuddle you for a bit.” Harry said against her neck placing a soft kiss on her collarbone.

“I can do that.” Anna smiled as she moved to accommodate Harry’s body better, flinching slightly as his knuckles moved against the bruise on her ribs after her fall yesterday.


	38. Round two klutz

Anna and Harry woke to an obnoxious ringing coming from Harry’s side of the bed.

“Make it stop.” Harry mumbled sleepily.

“’Ss your phone idiot.” Anna slurred as she rolled off Harry’s chest.

Harry didn’t open his eyes to check the caller ID as he answered.

“’Lo.” His eyes sprung open immediately and he sat up quickly when the other person answered.

“Was’ wrong?” Anna rubbed her eyes watching him. He looked over at her quickly with a tight-lipped smile before he got out of the bed and walked down the hallway out of ear shot. Anna yawned heavily stretching out her aching limbs before getting out of the bed and making her way to the bathroom.

She washed her face and combed out her unruly hair with her fingers before inspecting the bruises on her body. Harry still hadn’t seen them and she still didn’t want him too. Mostly she was embarrassed that she’d fallen so hard and looked so uncoordinated while she did it, secondly, she didn’t want him to worry. The bruise on her ribs was particularly bad and sometimes if she twisted the wrong way she was in pain, but mostly it was her pride that was wounded. She exited the bathroom and changed into some day clothes surprised that Harry hadn’t returned. She didn’t think much of it until she headed towards the kitchen in search of a good cup of tea.

—

Harry was in one his many guest rooms with the door shut, she could hear his voice having a one sided conversation from behind the door.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” He sounded angry. Anna didn’t mean to eavesdrop but curiosity was getting the best of her.  
“You need to stop calling me. I’ve moved on.”

That peaked Anna’s interests. ‘Moved on.’ She rolled the words around in her head. A previous lover perhaps? Anna couldn’t be angry at Harry for seeing other people before they got together. To be fair she had put up one hell of a fight against them getting together so of course he would have seen other people.

“That was a long time ago.” Harry sighed heavily. “I’m in LA.”

Anna shook her head as she walked away from the closed door. She shouldn’t be listening. It didn’t concern her.

—

Anna was dunking a tea bag in her mug when Harry entered the kitchen, still in his boxes from the night before.  
He smiled a lopsided smile at her before wrapping her up in his arms and kissing her on the top of the head.

“Morning.” His voice was muffled into her hair.

“Morning.” Anna replied her cheek pressed against his warm chest.

“Did you make me one?” Harry asked pulling away and seeing only one mug on the kitchen bench.

“No. I didn’t know how long you would be. The kettle’s still hot though.” Anna smiled as she turned back to her drink.

“I only want it if you make it.” Harry pouted leaning a hip against the cool stone of the bench.

“You’ll be waiting a while then.” Anna laughed as she drained the tea bag and carefully placed it in the bin.

“But you’re making yours.” Harry whined like a small child.

“No,” Anna corrected. “I’ve made mine.”

“You’re so mean to me.” Harry sighed as he followed her with her cup of tea into the lounge room. Anna carefully placed the hot drink on the coffee table before tucking her legs under her body as she sat down on the couch and leaned into the plush cushions.

“I’m teaching you independence.” She laughed as he flopped down on the couch next to her.

“Who was on the phone?” Anna asked after a moments silence.

“No one really.” Harry replied quickly. She didn’t miss the way his body tensed slightly when she’d asked.

“You got out of bed pretty fast.” Anna noted, leaning forward and cupping the mug between her hands and blowing lightly on the top trying to cool it down.

“It was just an unexpected call. But it’s nothing important really.” Harry repeated.

“Fair enough.” Anna said quietly before starting to drink her tea.

—

It was four days later and Harry had had two mysterious calls on his phone, where he dove to answer it before Anna could see the caller ID or hand it to him. Anna wasn’t bothered though. It was his phone and he would tell her what he wanted to. Anna had spent time with Glenne and realized that they were extremely similar albeit from completely different sides of the globe and walks of life. She was extremely down to earth and outrageously funny, although Anna couldn’t get her head around the fact that she spent $800 on a purse so casually. Still, it didn’t affect their budding friendship and Glenne certainly didn’t look down on Anna for being so surprised by her shopping experiences. Anna was beginning to not want to go back home. She liked the sun in LA, the warmth, even the people were growing on Anna, even though they fawned over her accent like they’d never met someone from England before.

—

Anna was making the bed in the morning when she knocked Harry’s phone off the bedside table. She finished fluffing out the sheets and making the bed look like it came out of a catalogue (her specialty) before she picked up Harry’s phone. Bending down she saw the corner of a book sticking out from under the bed. It must have been Harry’s journal that he’d knocked off the bedside table in the night. Anna bent and picked it up and turned around with the book and his phone in her hand as Harry entered the room.

“Anna, have you seen…” Harry stopped staring at her as his phone beeped with a new message.

“What are you doing?”

“Just making the bed.” Anna answered innocently, holding out the items to Harry.

“Why have you got my phone and my journal?” Harry asked cautiously taking a small step towards her.

“I knocked your phone off the table when I was doing the sheets, and when I bent to pick it up, your journal was under the bed. You must have knocked it off last night in your sleep.” Anna answered still holding out the items for Harry to take.

“Did you read it?” Harry asked, his voice sounded stiff.

“What? No!” Anna replied shocked looking at the book in her hands. “Of course not.”

“So you’re just standing there, with my personal things in your hands… not doing anything with them?” Harry said, his voice was beginning to sound accusatory.

“Well I’m trying to give them back to you currently.” Anna answered stiffly, not liking where this conversation was headed. Harry’s phone beeped in her hands again and she saw his eyes flick worriedly to the screen before snatching the items out of her hands.

“You shouldn’t snoop Anna.” He said gruffly, unlocking his phone and reading the message.

“I wasn’t snooping Harry. I was cleaning the room. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there aren’t any clothes on the floor and the bed is in fact made.” Anna answered annoyed. Harry didn’t respond except for a grunt.

“OK whatever.” Anna shook her head and pushed past him out of the room. A pile of dirty laundry that she had collected from around the room was sitting at the door ready for her to do.

“Do your own damn washing then.” Anna huffed before heading out to the foyer.

—

“Where’re you going?” Harry asked after he followed her a good ten minutes after she’d left him in the bedroom. Anna was pulling on her running shoes and was dressed in her work out gear.

“Going for a run.” She answered shortly tying up her laces.

“I’ll come.” Harry said turning around to get changed in some more suitable clothes.

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Anna said to Harry’s retreating back making him stop and turn around.

“Why not?” He asked surprised.

“I need some time to myself.” Harry looked at her confused. “Away from you.” She clarified.

“Why?” Harry was still stunned.

“Really Harry? Really?” She rolled her eyes as Harry still stood looking puzzled.

“You just accused me of snooping through your things, when I was cleaning up, I’ve done the washing, I’ve cleaned the kitchen and you accused me of snooping through your things.” Anna grumbled. “Yeah can’t imagine why I need some time away from you.” Anna rolled her eyes as she turned away from him.

“Hey look at it from my perspective.” Harry’s voice stopped her and she turned back around with her arms crossed in front of her.

“What?” Harry asked as she stared at him.

“Go on. Tell me your perspective. All I’m seeing right now is a bit of a douche.” Anna answered sarcastically.

“Well not if you are going to be in a mood.” Harry said huffily.

“Right. I’m out of here.” Anna said turning again and opening the front door and putting her earphone into her ears.

“Anna. What are you doing?” Harry asked trying to stop her again.

“There is nothing more unattractive to me then you pouting, sulking and acting like a victim and then blaming me when I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m going for a run until I can look at you again, or you figure out how to stop being such an idiot.” Anna shut the door behind her and began to jog down the driveway, as Harry stood dumbfounded in the entryway.

—

Anna’s feet pummeled the ground with each step she took, her music taking her away from her thoughts. She never thought that Harry would be one to jump to conclusions like that, so quickly and not bother to listen to her. Anger coursed through her veins as she thought of how much Harry had overreacted. Her lungs were burning but she knew that she just needed to push past the pain. Mind over matter.  
The music in Anna’s ears was blaring as she rounded the corner back to Harry’s house. She didn’t know if she was ready to go back in yet, she didn’t feel like she’d been running for that long. Maybe one more block and she’d have calmed down, so she sprinted past the house hoping that Harry wasn’t standing out the front waiting for her.

Harry stood staring at the closed front door before his phone beeping brought him back to earth. It was a message from Kelly. She’d called a few days ago, catching him completely off guard, especially with Anna sleeping peacefully beside him. Now there was another text message from her in front of him. He knew that he’d overreacted with Anna holding his phone and his journal, but he was anxious that she’d see it was Kelly contacting him. He knew that he should just talk to her about Kelly trying to get into contact with him, but he just thought that that chapter of his life was over, that chapter closed, never to be repeated. Now he had her trying to worm her way back into his life. Harry sighed as he opened and read the message from Kelly.

—

Anna’s breathing was labored and she could feel a stitch coming on as she ran, but she was still angry with Harry. She’d run past the house four times, still not ready to go back in.

“Think about it from my perspective.” The words echoed in her head as her heavy footfalls slapped the pavement. She argued with him in her head, she yelled at him, she tried to come up with something from his perspective but each time she came up blank. Suddenly Anna’s foot hit the pavement on an angle and just like a few days prior she landed on the ground hard, cursing as she fell. It was the second time that Harry had been on her mind and she’d hurt herself. Anna wiped her dirty hands on her shirt as she sat properly on the sidewalk, pain surrounding her ankle.

“Shit.” She mumbled as she saw the swelling around her ankle indicating a sprain. “Damn it.” Anna stopped the music blasting in her ears and pulled out the headphones. A few cars were passing by on the relatively quiet street. She was sure she looked ridiculous just sitting on the pavement, bright red with exertion from the run. Anna sighed heavily and pushed herself back up on her feet immediately feeling her ankle not supporting her weight. She was about two blocks away from Harry’s house, stupidly deciding to run further away and do a bigger lap than previous. She could try and walk back to the house but it would take a long time and it wouldn’t be good for her rapidly swelling foot. Her first thought was to call Harry to come pick her up but she immediately shot down the idea, not wanting him to look at her like this. He would just tell her that she shouldn’t have gone running, that she should have come home sooner, he would make her feel worse than she already did and Anna wasn’t up for that. Anna gingerly put some weight back on her foot to see if it would support her walking home. The involuntary yelp of pain told her that she wasn’t in any condition to be walking.

—

Looking around somewhat lost, Anna tried to figure out what she should do. She should just call Harry and ask him to come and pick her up, but her pride was stopping her. Glenne’s name popped into her head. She was literally her only other contact in LA. Anna huffed as she dialed her number, the phone rang twice before Glenne’s cheery voice answered.

“Anna, my love, how are you?”

“Bit of a spot of bother to be honest.” Anna sighed.

“What’s wrong sweetheart? Can I help?” Glenne’s voice was immediately concerned.

“I… erm… I can’t believe I’m saying this.” Anna groaned. “I went out for a run and I’ve tripped and I’ve erm… I’ve sort of hurt myself.”

“Love! Where are you?”

Anna answered with the street name.

“Oh I’m quite close to you actually. Shall I come pick you up?”

“I would love that. I erm… might need you to take me to a doctor actually.” Anna said somewhat embarrassed.

“Really?” Glenne sounded even more worried and Anna could hear her rushing around wherever she was, getting ready to come and get her.

“Yeah. I’ve done my ankle.” Anna sighed.

“Have you called Harry yet?” Glenne asked, the sound of a door shutting behind her.

“Not yet.” Anna mumbled.

“What… what do you mean?” Glenne paused. “Wait. I’ll be there in a minute and you call tell me about it. I’ll see you soon.” She finished abruptly before hanging up the phone.

Anna sighed. She really should call Harry and the pain in her foot was getting worse by the second.

—

“Thanks so much for this.” Anna said as she crawled into Glenne’s car.

“What happened?” Glenne asked pulling away from the curb as soon as Anna had shut the door.

“I was running and I landed on my foot wrong and rolled it. I think it’s just a sprain, but it’s swelling pretty quickly.” Anna sighed, the air conditioning cooling her heated skin.

“I can’t believe you fell over again.” Glenne giggled as she pulled up at a set of lights.

“I know. I was thinking about Harry.” Anna replied exasperated.

“Ok. Ew.” Glenne laughed again.

“Not like that. We had a bit of tiff and I went out to run to calm my mind down.” Anna laughed swatting Glenne’s arm lightly.

“Have you called him yet?” Glenne asked seriously.

“No.” Anna mumbled.

“But you should.”

“Yes. But there might be nothing wrong and I don’t want to worry him unnecessarily.” Anna explained, trying to justify her actions.

“He’s going to be worried regardless Sweetheart.” Glenne reprimanded. “And” she interrupted Anna trying to protest. “He will be a lot angrier if you don’t tell him.”

Anna groaned and threw her head back onto the seat. “Why do you have to be right?”

“I’m American.” Glenne laughed as Anna unlocked her phone and shot her a nasty look.

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

—

Anna let the phone ring twice before she hung up.

“He didn’t answer.” She said quickly hearing Glenne let out an exaggerated sigh.

“You rang it for like a second.”

“And he didn’t answer.” Anna replied smugly

“If you don’t call him…” Glenne threatened laughing loudly.

“Fine!” Anna complained as she called him again.

Harry picked up on the fourth ring.

“Anna?”

“Hey.” She was silent for a moment.

“Are you ok?” Harry asked, his voice was stiff.

“Fine.” Anna replied shortly.

“HI HARRY.” Glenne yelled loudly and laughing.

“Are you with Glenne?” Harry asked sternly.

“Yeah, she came and picked me up.” Anna replied tersely. He was still in his sour mood, and although Glenne had lifted Anna’s mood considerably, Harry was bringing her back down.

“I thought you were going for a run.” Harry’s voice rung through the phone accusingly.

“I was running.” Anna replied.

“So what? You just rang Glenne?” Harry asked his voice was stubborn.

“Yep.” Anna replied, her voice was cutting.

“Why did you ring Glenne?” Harry pushed, she could tell that he was starting to loose patience.

“Do you even care?” Anna sighed, Glenne cleared her throat inconspicuously next to Anna.

“Of course I care Anna.” Harry’s voice softened considerably. “Are you ok?”

Anna sighed heavily wondering how she was going to reply.

“Anna?” Harry pushed again. It was amazing how quickly his voice changed from anger to concern.

“She’s taking me to the doctor.” Anna answered quietly.

“Why are you going to the doctor?” Harry demanded.

“I tripped and hurt my ankle.” Anna explained simply.

“Anna, why didn’t you call me?” His voice immediately switched back to anger.

“After our last conversation I wasn’t sure you wanted to talk to me.” Anna replied.

“Anna….” Anna heard him sigh heavily. “Anna. I love you. You should have called me.”

“Oh. We are at the hospital. I’ll let you know how it goes.” Anna said quickly as Glenne parked the car.

“What are you doing at the hospital?” Harry yelled down the phone.

“It’s fine. I’ll call you back soon.” Anna said quickly before hanging up the phone.

“Might need you to help me walk Glenne.” Anna laughed as she tried to wiggle out of the car without putting pressure on her ankle.

“Well aren’t we friendly.” Glenne laughed as she looped one of Anna’s arms over her shoulders to help her walk.

“I owe you big time Glenne.” Anna laughed as they hobbled towards the front doors of the building.

“Oh, there was a new bag…”

—

Harry immediately dialed Anna’s number back, only to be left with her voicemail. Groaning in frustration he dialed Glenne’s number only to be met with the same result. Harry quickly grabbed some shoes and headed out to his car. He would just drive around until he found them. The closest hospital to his house was at least 20minutes away.

—

“Harry’s calling me again.” Glenne groaned looking at her phone.

“It’s fine. Go answer it.” Anna said as they sat in the waiting area.

“But… I’m being here for you.” Glenne smiled sending Harry to another voicemail.

“Anna Brent?” A nurse carrying a clipboard called out her name.

“Here” Anna raised her hand and tried to stand before falling back onto her chair.

“How about I go get you a wheelchair.” The nurse smiled kindly at her before leaving the room.

“You call Harry back and I’ll go get my ankle looked at.” Anna nodded at Glenne who was biting her lip in concern. “Seriously go.” Anna laughed pushing her slightly as the Nurse came back in the room pushing a chair.

“Ok. But I’ll be right back.” Glenne said helping her into the chair.

“Yes. Ok go.” Anna smiled but wincing slightly.

—

“Hello Harry.” Glenne sighed as Harry picked up on the first ring.

“Where are you?” He demanded, Glenne could hear the sounds of the car revving through the phone.

“At the hospital.” Glenne answered shortly.

“Fuckin’! I know that Glenne. Which one?” Harry yelled down the phone.

“Calm down Harry. She’s ok.” Glenne tried calming him down.

“You’re at the hospital.” Harry yelled again. “Which one, please Glenne.” Harry worked to keep his voice calm.

Glenne sighed heavily. “We are in Cedars-Sinai.”

“I’ll be there soon.” Harry said quickly before hanging up.

—

“So we’ll just pop you in for an x-ray just to make sure it’s not broken, and we’ll go from there.” Jackie, the Nurse, said as she pushed Anna through the halls of the hospital.

“I don’t think it’s broken but it did swell really quickly.” Anna said taking a deep breath trying to ignore the pain in her foot.

“We’ll soon find out Sweetheart.” Jackie said softly.

—

Harry finally arrived at the hospital and parked in the first free space he could find. He slammed the door as he ran towards the hospital entrance. Glenne was waiting out the front of the building biting her thumbnail as she watched him approach.

“Where is she?” Harry asked immediately.

“Hello to you too.” Glenne replied sarcastically. “She’s getting an x-ray.” Glenne answered as they walked through the front doors.

“An x-ray on what? What happened?” Harry asked desperately.

“She fell while she was running, she thinks that it’s just a sprain.” Glenne answered sighing heavily.

“Why didn’t she call me?” Harry grumbled as they sat in the waiting room, his knees bounced with nerves.

“She said that you aren’t exactly on the best of terms.” Glenne replied quietly.

“Still. She should know that she could still call me.” Harry pouted.

“This is maybe something that you should bring up with her.” Glenne sighed.

“You can go home if you want to.” Harry said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Thanks for being there Glenne. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s ok. I told her I would stay though.” Glenne smiled and rubbed his back lightly trying to comfort him. “She’ll be fine.”

—

“Not broken.” The doctor confirmed looking at Anna’s x-rays. “Just pretty badly sprained.”

Anna breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’ll strap it up and you can be on your way. Just remember to ice it and elevate it and the swelling should go down quickly.”

“Ok. Thank you.” Anna smiled as the doctor turned to get the strapping tape.

“Alright, just sit back and we’ll get you sorted out.” The Doctor smiled as he started to wrap her ankle. Anna winced as he worked but the relief was slowly coming back from the pain that she was experiencing.

—

Harry jumped up from his chair as Anna was wheeled back into the waiting room.

“Anna. Are you ok?” Harry asked rushing towards her.

“I’m fine. Just a sprain. Not broken. Yay.” Anna said as she tried to get out of the wheelchair. “Thanks Jackie.” Anna nodded to the nurse who smiled back at her kindly.

“You are most welcome darling.” Jackie replied before she took the wheelchair away.

“I just need to fix up the costs and we can go.” Anna smiled gratefully as Harry put his arm around her waist to help take the weight off her foot.

“I can do that. You sit with Glenne.” Harry said quickly.

“No Harry, really.” Anna started to protest before she was cut off by him.

“I’m taking care of it.” Harry said before he walked over to the service desk leaving Anna to reach out for him to stop him.

“It’s better for him just to do it Anna.” Glenne laughed as she stood up, picking up her bag from the floor.

“Are you going to go home with Harry?”

“I’d better hadn’t I?” Anna sighed as she watched Harry speak to one of the nurses over the counter.

“Yes you should.” Glenne agreed.

“Thank you so much for coming to get me.” Anna held out her arms and Glenne immediately hugged her.

“It was no issue really. Call me if you need me again.” Glenne pulled away kissing her lightly on the cheek.

“You are too nice and I’ve only just met you.” Anna said in wonderment. “I see why Harry loves you.”

“And I see why he loves you. Talk soon.” Glenne grinned before she waved at Harry and left the hospital.

—

“Ready to go?” Harry asked after he tucked some paperwork into his pocket.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Anna sighed as she started hobbling towards the exit.

“Let me help.” Harry offered placing his arm around her waist and taking the weight off her foot.

The shuffle to the car was silent, with Harry racing to open her door before Anna could get to it and helping her into the car.

It was silent in the car as they drove back to Harry’s house until he finally broke it.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

Anna stayed silent, thinking. Why didn’t she call him? Because she was angry. Because she was hurt. Because she in all honesty didn’t know if he would come and get her.

“Anna. Please.” Harry prompted, his voice was soft.

“I don’t know Harry.” Anna answered somewhat honestly. “I just…. Argh. Why is it so hard to talk to you sometimes?” Anna groaned.

“What?” Harry asked confused.

“You are just really hard to talk to sometimes. You’re really hard to read.” Anna replied heavily.

“I don’t… why?” Harry asked quietly.

“Because I don’t know what kind of reaction I’m going to get from you. You snapped at me so quickly today. I was so angry with you. That’s the second time I’ve hurt myself because I’ve been thinking about you.”

“The second time?” Harry questioned.

“The first time was when you didn’t come home and I didn’t know where you were, remember.” Anna reminded him.

“That was because of me?”

“I was angry so I went out for a run. Then I was thinking about you and I got distracted and I tripped and fell. Same again this time, but I really fell hard.” Anna answered truthfully.

“That… that was because of me?” Harry asked again.

“Well I’m sure my uncoordinated nature had something to do with it, but yes I was thinking about you at the time.” Anna replied watching the houses zoom past as they drove back to Harry’s house.

—

There was silence in the car as Harry processed what she was saying.

“I…. You can always depend on me Anna. Always. I will always be there for you, no matter what. No matter what we’ve fought about.” Harry stuttered.

“It’s like…. I knew that. But…. I didn’t want to see you Harry. You really made me feel awful.” Anna said quietly. “You just didn’t listen to me.”

“You didn’t want my help?”

“I just didn’t know if you would come and I didn’t know if I wanted you to. It’s the second time in a week that I’ve had to go for a run to calm down. What does that mean for us?” Anna sighed heavily as they approached Harry’s house and Harry pulled into the driveway.  
“Anna… do you not love me?” Harry’s voice broke slightly as he turned off the car.

“I didn’t say that Harry.” Anna shook her head.

“You may as well have.” Harry grumbled.

“Again Harry. You aren’t listening to me.” Anna replied stubbornly.

“What are you saying then?” Harry asked his voice cold.

“I’m telling you that you hurt my feelings. You didn’t listen to me and you just flat out…” Anna was lost for words. Her foot was aching; she just wanted to go inside and lie down.

“I what Anna?”

“Look, can we just go inside? My foot is aching and I just really want to lie down for a bit.” Anna mumbled. Was she just overreacting about this whole thing? Maybe she should just get over it. Part of her wanted Harry to admit that he was wrong about the phone and the journal, to apologise, the other part of her was just too tired to care.

“Yeah. Ok.” Harry muttered, opening his door before rushing around to help her out of the car.

—

“I was really worried about you Anna.” Harry said as he placed a glass of water beside Anna who was lying on the couch, her foot in the air stacked by pillows.

“Was that before or after I called you?” Anna asked her arm over her head covering her eyes.

“As soon as you left the house.” Harry answered as he sat on the couch at her feet. “Then for you to say that you were going to hospital. I wanted to vomit Anna.”

Anna sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions. I really am.” Harry murmured.

“You what?” Anna lifted her arm and looked at him.

“I overreacted. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

“Thank you Harry. You know that I would never snoop right? Anything that you want to tell me, I trust that you’ll just tell me. I don’t see the need for snooping.”

“I know.” Harry nodded earnestly. “Please… just call me next time.”

“Yes Harry. Don’t be a dick and I won’t have to.” Anna grinned at him, making him laugh.

—

“Curiously though…” Anna began later that night as she lay with her head on Harrys lap.

“What’s that?”

“Is there something that you want to tell me?” Anna asked, rolling so that she could see him properly.

“Uhm…” Harry paused.

“It’s ok if there is something and you just aren’t ready to tell me yet. That’s ok.” Anna said quickly. “I mean… The way you reacted today makes me feel like you are hiding something from me. But I am also not the kind of person that is going to make a big fuss out of nothing. So if you tell me it’s nothing, it’s nothing. If you say that it is something, but you don’t want to share it with me. That’s ok to. I just….” Anna sighed heavily. “I just don’t want you to lie to me.”

“I would never…” Harry trailed off. By not telling her about Kelly was he lying by default? He honestly didn’t know.

“There’s nothing for you to be worried about.” Harry settled with. Now was not the time to mention Kelly. “I love you. You love me. That’s all that matters for right now.”

“I do love you, you know. Even when you drive me mental and you make me almost break my ankle. I still love you.” Anna smiled at him as Harry bent down and carefully kissed her.

“I love you so much.”


	39. Is it too much to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not super thrilled with this chapter but we're getting there.

“I can stay in.” Harry argued as he slipped on a shirt.

“Harry. Go out.” Anna smiled as she watched him dress.

“But you are only here for two more days and I feel like I should stay home.” Harry sighed turning around and facing her.

“Nice shirt.” Anna commented. “It’s really ok. Really, really, really ok.”

“Thank you. I wish you could come with me.” Harry grumbled and he threw himself on the bed beside her.

“It’s really ok. My ankle is feeling much better. Maybe tomorrow night I can come out.” Anna ran her fingers through his long curls knowing how much her loved it.

“Really? Tomorrow you’ll come out? I know Glenne would love to see you again.” Harry said grinning excitedly.

“Maybe. The swelling’s gone down a lot and I can put weight on it now. I’ll just have to have your arm wrapped around me to keep the weight off it when I can.” Anna shrugged thinking about it.

“If you are going to come out tomorrow, maybe I won’t go out tonight.” Harry said trying to gauge her reaction.

“You’re already dressed.” Anna pointed out.

“I can get undressed?” Harry said suggestively, raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up and just go out.” Anna laughed pushing his head away from her.

“Fine.” Harry sighed. “I won’t be long. Just a few drinks for this launch thing… I don’t even know what it is.” Harry said fumbling to get his phone out of his pocket.

“Didn’t Nicole tell you?” Anna asked as she reached for a book that she’d been reading, on the bedside table.

“I think so.” Harry mumbled as he unlocked his phone. His eyes widened in surprise for a moment before he started to scroll through his messages.

“Everything ok?” Anna asked curiously, studying him.

“Hm?” Harry looked up, distracted. “Yeah fine, why?”

“You just looked a little startled is all.”

“Oh no, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.” Harry smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes like it normally did. Anna decided against commenting on it. She’d already told him, anything he wanted to tell her was up to him, and she wasn’t going to push it.

“It’s a clothing launch.” Harry finally said, finding the message from Nicole. “I have missed most of the runway though, I think I’m just going to be there for the after party.”

“Are you wearing any of their clothes?” Anna asked looking him up and down as Harry shook his head.

“Have you even seen the clothes?” Anna laughed as Harry continued to shake his head.

“Sorry, just remind me why you are going then?” Anna asked shaking her head at him in disbelief.

“To be seen I think.” Harry answered with a sigh. “I think they just want me to be out and about for some photo’s then I can come home.”

“Gee, don’t get too excited.” Anna laughed as Harry pushed himself off the bed with a groan.

“It would be better if you were there.” Harry grumbled as he put his phone back in his pocket.

“I’ll be here for you when you come back.” Anna grinned as she opened her book.

“Ok. I love you.” Harry said earnestly, bending down to kiss her lightly on the forehead.

“Love you too. Have fun.” She smiled at his retreating figure before she began to read.

—

Anna woke with a start as the room was suddenly filled with light.

“Harry? What the hell man?” She asked as she wearily rubbed her eyes.

“Oh sorry Anna.” Harry giggled and fumbled with the light switch.

Anna checked the clock on her phone, reading 2am. It wasn’t too bad considering Harry had left after nine.

“How was it?” Anna asked through a yawn and her eyes adjusted to the bright light.

“It was…” Harry paused for a long time and looked around the room.

“Harry?” Anna asked after a minute had past.

“Hmm?” He hummed with a lopsided grin.

“You feeling ok?” Anna asked pushing the bed sheets off her body.

“Hey Anna. Did you know that you are really good looking?” Harry said suddenly very serious.

“What?” Anna asked confused.

“Your face. It’s just really well put together.” Harry commented loudly.

“Um, thank you.” Anna shook her head confused.

“You are welcome. Hey, where’s the bathroom?” Harry asked looking around the room confused.

“Harry. I’m actually getting worried. Are you ok?” Anna swung her legs out of bed and carefully stood up to go and check on him.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Harry’s voice boomed around the room as he yelled advancing towards her. “YOU HURT YOUR FOOT! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!” He continued to yell as he pulled her in for a hug.

“Harry…what…oh” It clicked to Anna what was happening as soon as she smelt his shirt.

“Harry.” She called his attention to her again. “Harry, are you high?”

“I’m feeling pretty stable right now.” Harry grinned before falling into a fit of giggles and letting Anna go.

“You’re high. Harry!” Anna tried to scold him but she was mostly surprised. “Did you go to a frat party? Did someone slip you a brownie?”

“No. No. No. No. No.” Harry repeated as he shook his head wildly. “I just had one little puff…” Harry held his pointer finger and thumb together with a small crack between them before he got distracted again. “Hey look how long this finger is.” He held up his pointer finger to show Anna.

“Oh gosh Harry. Go take a shower.” Anna shook her head; she couldn’t stop herself from smiling.

“But I’m not dirty.” Harry looked down at his clothes, which were still quite clean.

“Well go… calm down somewhere else. I’m going back to sleep.” Anna sat on the edge of the bed as she watched him.

Harry walked guiltily over to a chest of drawers and started to pull out some boxers.

“You know what we could do.” He said suddenly spinning around and losing his balance slightly.

“What’s that?” Anna asked through a yawn as she started to settle back down into the bed.

“We could have….” Harry mumbled the last word, but Anna was pretty sure she knew what he said.

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that.” She worked to keep her face straight.

“SEX ANNA.” Harry yelled loudly making her jump and start laughing. “WE COULD HAVE SEX AND MAKE A BABY!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Anna shook her head grinning at him.

“Why…” Harry paused to think. “I’d be a terrible father wouldn’t I. Oh… Anna… Anna… we can’t have a baby yet! We aren’t ready.” Harry started to panic.

“Harry. We aren’t having a baby.” Anna tried to calm him down.

“We aren’t? You aren’t pregnant?” Harry asked somewhat relieved.

“No. I’m not. Go have a shower and turn the light off so I can sleep.” Anna shook her head again.

“Ok. Good. No Baby. But one day. Maybe. If you want to. We should. I want to. I want too. I want toooo. To. To. To.” Harry nodded as he turned off the light and mumbled to himself as he went to shower.

—

“My head hurts.”

It was the words that Anna woke up to, feeling Harry’s fingers run up and down her arm lightly. She hummed trying to wake herself up.

“Anna. My head hurts.” Harry whined a little louder.

“Prob’ly som’thin’ to do with the smoking.” Anna voice was muffled as she tried to wake herself up.

“Can you get me some water?” Harry asked as Anna finally opened her eyes.

“Can’t you get it?” She asked rubbing her eyes.

“My head hurts.” Harry pouted.

“I have a broken foot.” Anna counteracted.

“Oah yeah.” Harry sighed heavily. “I guess we’re both doomed.”

“I guess so.” Anna laughed as she looked at Harry’s face. His eyes were still a little bit red, but that could be because he was rubbing them incessantly.

“Alright. I’m getting you the water.” Anna sighed heavily as she sat up in the bed.

“Really?” Harry asked happily.

“Yes, you look so pathetic. I can’t stand it.” Anna grinned as she threw back the covers and pulled herself out of the bed.

“You love me though.” Harry said contently watching her.

“Maybe just a bit.” Anna limped out of the room with Harry still watching her carefully.

—

“So.” Anna started as Harry gratefully guzzled down the water she had brought him. “You got high last night.” She couldn’t keep the amusement out of her voice.

“I didn’t.” Harry denied biting his lip.

“You did. You insisted that we should have a baby.”

“I did?” Harry asked his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“You did.” Anna confirmed trying to hold back her smirk.

“I might… I might have had a small hit…. Are you angry?” He asked cautiously.

“What? No. I just didn’t peg you for a guy that would have a joint.” Anna replied laughing.

“Well… the party was pretty terrible and… and I just…” Harry tried to explain.

“You don’t need to explain anything Harry. I was just surprised.” Anna shook her head smiling at him.

“Why were you surprised?” Harry asked rolling on his side to look at her.

“Um… because you are you.” Anna grinned.

“What’s that meant to mean?” Harry was smiling now.

“It means… you are you. You don’t do things like that.” Anna tried explaining.

“Who said I don’t do things like that?” Harry pushed himself up on his hands.

“I dunno. It’s just surprising is all. You’re usually so… I dunno. Together.” Anna grinned.

“Together?” Harry scoffed shaking his head. “I’ll show you together.” He muttered before he launched his body at Anna pinning her underneath him and making her laugh.

“Fine. Such a bad ass.” Anna laughed as Harry kissed her neck making her shriek with laughter.

“That’s right.” Harry said victorious, his voice still muffled as he was buried in her neck.

“You are really tickling me.” Anna tried to kick out from underneath him.

“I’m being loving.” Harry continued to assault her neck making her squirm with the feeling of his stubble on her skin.

“Loving me would stop tickling me!” Anna gasped for breath as Harry lifted his head.

“I was just loving you.” He said, a smirk on his face.

“Ok well. Can you stop?” Anna laughed.

“Never!” Harry cried out before attacking her face with kisses.

“Stop, please stop!” Anna thrashed her head around with laughter trying to stop him.

“Loving! Loving!” Harry repeated between kisses making Anna laugh harder.

“Seriously though Anna.” Harry lifted his head and looked down at her earnestly.

“What?” Anna asked as she tried to control her breathing.

“I do love you. Forever.” Harry said his eyes searching hers.

“Way to go all serious.” Anna rolled her eyes trying to bring back the lighthearted fun they’d been having a moment ago.

“I am serious though Anna. I’m so happy. You make me happy. I love you.” Harry said a small dip in between his eyebrows appeared as he looked down at her.

“I love you.” Anna replied blushing. “I do Harry.”

Harry tilted his head down and kissed her, with everything he had. He couldn’t communicate to her how much he loved her and he hoped that this kiss would reassure her.

—

“Are you sure you want to go out tonight?” Harry asked for the millionth time.

“Yes.” Anna sighed exasperated.

“Because we can stay in. It’s your last night here and I won’t be home for another two weeks.” Harry continued as if he hadn’t heard her.

“Yes Harry. I want to see Glenne and Jeff before I go anyway and I don’t think I’ll get a chance tomorrow.” Anna answered as she finished applying her mascara. She looked away from the mirror to see Harry standing in the doorway studying her.

“They can always come to London. We really don’t have to go out.” He said playing with his bottom lip.

“Honestly you sound like…” Anna stopped herself as she suddenly had a sense of de ja vu, but it was with the wrong person. Niall.

<<<<<

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out tonight?” Niall asked hesitantly.

“Yes I am sure.” Anna replied laughing.

“But I get why you would want to go out. I’m being selfish.” Niall said sheepishly.

“You aren’t at all. If you don’t stop asking me maybe I will go out just to get away from you.” Anna laughed as the grin spread across his face. Anna couldn’t remember being more in love with him, than that moment.

>>>>>

“Anna?” Harry called her back into focus and took a step towards her, his fingers brushing her arm lightly.

“Hmm?” Anna hummed putting him back in focus.

“Who do I sound like?” Harry asked curiously.

“What? No one.” Anna said quickly. “Are we going?” She tried to shift the conversation.

“Yep. But only if you are sure.” Harry said smiling at her and lacing their fingers together.

“I’m sure.” Anna smiled. “Now stop asking.” She laughed as she nudged him on the shoulder.

—

Harry helped her out of the car and kept his arm around her waist as they walked into the thumping club. There were only a few photographers out, for which Anna was extremely grateful. She really didn’t want photos of her limping about ending up in a magazine for people to pick apart.

“Where’re Glenne and Jeff?” Anna asked loudly into Harry’s ear as he tilted his head towards her.

“I think they said outside. Did you want a drink first?” Harry replied, his voice was extremely gravely as he tried to speak above the music and Anna was the first to admit it was making her knees a little bit weak.

She shook her head in response. “Let’s find the others first.”

Harry nodded in understanding and keeping his arm around her waist he helped her maneuver through the dancing bodies.  
There was a loud cheer from a corner of the darkened room and Anna saw a few balloons bobbing around the place.

“Must be someone’s birthday.” She said as they exited to the back area and fresh air.

“It’s pretty packed in there.” Harry commented as he spotted Glenne and Jeff sitting in a corner, their head close together as they spoke to each other.

“Someone special then.” Anna smiled as Harry pointed in their friends’ direction and steered her towards them.

“We’ve not done anything for your birthday.” Harry said suddenly as they approached the sitting couple.

“It’s not my birthday.” Anna replied confused.

“No. I mean. We’ve not ever done anything for your birthday.” Harry said as Glenne and Jeff stood up from their seats to greet Harry and Anna.

Anna shrugged, “It’s not a big deal. It’s just another day.”

Glenne greeted them first, cutting Anna off. “Hello! Sorry Harry we had no idea.”

“We can leave if you want.” Jeff said as he shook Harry’s hand.

“Why would we…” Harry’s words were cut off in this throat, his blood turned to ice as he felt a tap on his shoulder and a voice he hoped he would never have to hear again.

“You CAME!” Kelly squealed happily, spinning Harry and kissing him on his very surprised lips.

—

It was like time was frozen, Anna was watching it all unfold in slow motion in front of her.

Kelly attached her lips to Harry.

Harry’s face paled as he realized what was happening.

Harry pulled back suddenly and reaching wildly for Anna’s hand.

“You CAME!” echoed around in Anna’s mind.

Kelly pulled Harry in for a hug, which he was too stunned not to react too, and he hugged her back.

Harry’s face was panic stricken as he looked between Anna and Kelly; Kelly and Anna.

“I knew you would come.” Kelly said happily.

Harry still tried to reach out for Anna.

Anna looked down and saw Kelly holding Harry’s hand.

Then suddenly everything sped up back into real time when Anna finally found her voice again.

“I knew you would come?” Anna asked Harry, repeating Kelly’s words as Kelly tried to loop herself under Harry’s arm.

“I… I didn’t.” Harry stuttered pulling his arm away from Kelly.

“I sent you the message and you replied.” Kelly pouted at him.

“I didn’t.” Harry repeated, his eyes were running desperately over Anna’s face.

“YES!” Kelly laughed. “Look!” She started to dig around in her bag looking for her phone.

“Harry.” Anna muttered, she looked away from his face. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“Anna, I didn’t I swear.” Harry said reaching for her again.

“Aren’t you going to wish me Happy Birthday?” Kelly pouted again, abandoning the search for her phone.

“Happy birthday Kelly.” Harry replied shortly, his eyes not wavering from Anna’s face.

“Is… is this why you flipped out the other day?” Anna’s voice was shaking. “Because… because of your phone?”

“No!” Harry replied immediately before Anna shot him a withering glare. “Well yes. But only because I didn’t want you to be worried.”

“I….” Anna was speechless.

“Not worried. That was a bad… choice of words. There’s nothing going on Anna. Nothing. I just didn’t want you to think something was going on.”

“Oh yes. This is much better.” Anna replied sarcastically crossing her arms.

“No… I mean. Ahh.” Harry groaned in frustration.

“Aren’t you going to wish me a Happy Birthday properly?” Kelly’s voice was slurred slightly with the alcohol she had consumed.

There was silence between Harry and Anna while they both waited for the other to speak.

“Oh for heavens sake.” Kelly grumbled before grabbing Harry’s cheeks between her two hands and kissing him deeply.

Anna didn’t need to see any more. She didn’t want to see any more.

“I need to get out of here.” Anna looked to Glenne for comfort.

“Um. Yeah. Yeah let’s go.” Glenne turned back and picked up her bag, shooting a helpless gaze at Jeff. Glenne took Anna’s arm lightly and helped her to walk away while Harry pushed Kelly of him.

“What the fuck are you doing Kelly?" He asked as he wiped his mouth.

“I know you miss me Harry.” Kelly said confidently, running her hand up and down his bicep.

“Fuck off.” Harry growled before turning back to Jeff. “Where did they go?”

“I… That way.” Jeff pointed in the direction Anna and Glenne had walked.

“Anna.” Harry called out, his voice lost in the thumping bass of the music. He searched frantically for her through the throng of people moving around him. He felt his arm tug and turned quickly to see Kelly in front of him.

“It’s ok Harry. I forgive you. We can get back together.” She was smiling widely.

“You… you forgive me?” Harry stuttered angry and surprised as he turned and started to look for Anna again.

“Yes.” Kelly said happily, linking their arms together.

“Get off Kelly.” Harry tried pulling her off as he spotted Anna and Glenne heading for the exit, shortly followed by Jeff who was searching for Harry through the crowd of people.

“You want to get out of here?” Kelly asked grinning, and completely misreading the situation. Harry ignored her and weaved around the people dancing trying to get to Anna. How could this all have gone so wrong?

“Where do we take you?” Glenne asked as they were met with a hoard of photographers that has suddenly appeared at the front of the building.

“I… I don’t care.” Anna answered surprised and trying to her head down.

“Car’s this way.” Jeff said taking Glenne’s hand in his own. Glenne kept an arm around Anna’s waist trying to help her walk.

“I can walk. It’s ok. Let’s just go please.” Anna said smiling briefly at her in thanks.

—

Harry burst out of the club and was briefly blinded by the camera flashed surrounding him.

“Anna!” He called out seeing her pause briefly.

Kelly, who was calling out his name, followed Harry closely.

“Anna! Please.” He called out, ignoring Kelly tugging on his arm and the photographers shouting his name.

He saw Anna falter and turn slowly around to him, her shoulders moving in a heavy sigh.

“Anna.” He took one her hands in his own, needing to connect them again. “Nothing is happening.”

“I… I don’t know how to believe that.” Anna stuttered her eyes not quite meeting his gaze.

“Anna. Please. You have to. I would never…” Harry was cut off by Kelly as she interrupted him.

“Harry. It’s ok. We can get back together.” Kelly grabbed onto Harry’s shoulder, the intention to make him let go of Anna’s hands.

“Seriously Kelly. Fuck off.” Harry growled his gaze not moving from Anna’s face.

“I can’t do this again Harry.” Anna said quietly, almost under her breath.

“Do what?” Harry pressed, holding her hand tighter.

“I’ve already been betrayed once. I can’t do it again.” Anna shook her head.

“I’m not. Anna. Please. Can we go home and talk about this?” Harry begged.

“Harry.” Kelly tried to grab his attention again. Harry was acutely aware of the photographers snapping photos and videos of the exchange between the three of them.

“You want to talk now?” Anna asked finally meeting his eyes.

“Yes, please. “ Harry sighed in relief.

“Maybe you should have said something a couple of days ago.” Anna said, her gaze was strong and steely. It was Harry that broke eye contact first.

“Please Anna.” It was all he could say.

There was silence between Anna and Harry as Kelly tried to get Harry’s attention.

“Take me ho…” Anna stopped herself. “Let’s go.” She shook her head as she separated their hands and walked towards where a car was waiting for them.

“Thank you.” Harry released the breath he was holding.

—

Anna was walking, or limping to the car when there was a commotion behind her.

Kelly had tried to kiss Harry again and he had pushed her off. Anna couldn’t hear what he was saying, his voice was too low, but the photographers were leaning in close to catch every word. Kelly looked as though she was going to pass out before she slapped him hard across the face and stormed back into the club. Harry shook his head minutely before he jogged over to Anna who was standing by the car door. Photographers followed him but he quickly helped Anna into the car and they drove away in silence.

—

Niall had locked himself away, he wouldn’t talk to anyone, he wouldn’t see anyone; he stayed by himself. It had been weeks since he’d spoken to either Harry or Anna. He saw that she was in LA with him and he could feel his heart breaking all over again. This was the long break that he was looking forward to. He was going to have a normal life with Anna. Be a normal person. Have a normal life and instead he’d ruined it so deeply he wasn’t sure how he could actually fix it. He’d pushed her so far beyond the point of forgiveness and he was the one that was responsible. Niall picked up his guitar and strummed out a few chords. If he couldn’t have Anna, he could write about her, he could let the heartbreak, he could let out the anger, and he could let everything he felt, everything he thought, out through the music.

—

Harry’s knees bounced with nerves on the silent trip back to his house. He couldn’t believe that he was so stupid. It was Anna’s last night in LA with him and he’d so stupidly thrown that out of the window. If he’d just talked to her. If he just told Anna what was going on, when it was going on, they wouldn’t be in this stupid mess and they could be enjoying their time together instead of the dead and awkward silence that hung over the car. Eventually they reached his house and she refused his help to get out of the car. The coldness that was radiating off her was killing him. If only he wasn’t such an idiot.

—

Page after page Niall wrote about everything that he thought. It was cathartic somehow, to get everything out. He didn’t know how the rest of the band would feel about his broken lyrics, but it came so naturally to him that he couldn’t stop. Every apology he wanted to say, every moment he wanted to take back was there in flowing lyrics, the melody swimming around his head as he wrote. The nights they spent together, the way that she made him laugh, the nights that he was lonely, or he wanted to help her but was too far away. Everything, their whole relationship was on page after page of beautifully spun lyrics, twisting and peaking melodies, haunting love songs and heart breaking bridges. Everything he felt came to the surface, something he had been pushing away for weeks and he felt himself break. Why did he have to still love her so much? Why did she have to be happy with someone else? Why did it have to be Harry?

—

Anna sat patiently on the couch waiting for Harry to return with a cup of tea. She was angry, but not as angry as she thought that she would be. She knew the kind of person that Kelly was, she knew that when she saw Anna, especially Anna with Harry, that she would say anything to hurt Anna. She wasn’t angry about that. She was angry that there was clearly communication between Harry and Kelly and he didn’t feel the need to tell her. She was angry that she was leaving in the morning and now she wasn’t sure how much trust she had him, trust that he wouldn’t keep more things from her. She was angry that her last night was ruined, that now this trip would end sourly because Harry didn’t talk to her. Or try to talk to her. Or maybe he didn’t want to talk to her. Was there something wrong with Anna? Was it her? Was she too clingy? Was Harry pushing her away? She knew that she rushed into this quickly. She knew it was such a short time to move on after Niall. Did this mean that Harry was sick of her already? Couldn’t wait for her to get back on a plane home so that he could laugh about it with Kelly? Was he really over her already? He told her that he loved her. That he had for a long time.

Was that all just infatuation? Was it just lust? Was this just a game to him? Was Anna just some rag doll that he could dress up and throw away when he was done? The more Anna thought the more upset she became. Her anger was less directed at Harry and now it was focused inwards. What was wrong with her? It was her fault! Harry was bored of her. She shouldn’t have done this. She knew that she wasn’t good enough. She knew that she ruined things. She knew that with Niall. She wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t even good. She broke things. That’s what she did. She tried to love people and it wasn’t enough. Why did she so stupidly think that things could be different with Harry? Why did she think that she was enough? He was used to so much more than what she was. She could never give him what he needed, what he wanted. She was just a teacher, a boring early childhood teacher, from London. She was just trying to figure her life out and so far all she managed to do was ruin two relationships.

Maybe she was meant to be alone. Maybe she shouldn’t be with anyone. Maybe she was just broken and this was going to be her life. Anna shuddered as the thoughts raced through her mind. She tried to tell herself that it was ridiculous, that these were all lies that her mind was telling her, but why did they seem to be littered with truth?

—

Niall recorded some of his work on his phone, strumming out on the guitar and singing the lyrics quietly. He would send it out in the morning to see what the team thought. His voice faulted over some of the words as the memories behind the lyrics were still raw.  
“Someone's moving outside, the lights come on down the drive, I forget you're not here when I close my eyes, do you still think of me sometimes?"

Niall paused as he listened to the play back. Was he being too obvious? Would everyone know that these words were meant for Anna?  
Niall sighed as he started on the melody on another song. Something that was happier, from a better time for them both.

—

Harry put the mugs on the coffee table before he sat next to Anna. He really didn’t know what to say to her and she looked like she wasn’t going to be the first to break the silence. Harry took a moment to study her face. She was biting on her bottom lip with worry; her eyebrows were creased as she thought, as though she hadn’t even noticed that he was sitting next to her. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap but he could see the strain of her fingers as they laced together. Her eyes were darting from left to right as she thought, completely unaware of Harry watching her carefully. Eventually he knew he had to speak.

“Anna. I’m so sorry.” Harry’s voice was low, weaker than what he wanted it to be.

“Ok.” Anna’s voice was hushed as she answered him

“Okay?” Harry questioned confused. “You’re okay with this?”

Anna shook her head quickly. “Not at all. But… But I don’t really know… it’s not for me…” Anna stuttered as she tried to start each new sentence. Harry had never seen her so nervous.

“I should have told you that she was contacting me.” Harry said. He so badly wanted to hold her, to tell her that everything was going to be ok. He so badly wanted for Anna to hold him, to tell him that everything was going to be ok.

“No.” Anna whispered. “It’s ok. I get it.”

“What?” Harry couldn’t understand what Anna meant. “What do you get?”

“This… this was fun Harry. We rushed into this… this thing.” Anna took a shuddering breath before she continued. “I get that… I get that you are… bored. I… I’m not enough. I know.” Harry started to interrupt but she help up a shaking hand, silencing him. “You need more and I can’t give it. I’m not surprised that you… that she… that this worked out the way it did. I was a distraction. I am surprised though… I didn’t think that you were like this. But. Ok. I leave in the morning and I guess it’s for the best. We’ve had fun right?” Anna’s eyes finally met Harry’s and he could see the glassiness of unshed tears almost rising to the surface.

“What? You think? You think I’m bored? You’re not enough?” Harry spluttered trying to understand what she was saying. “You think that this was just for fun?” Harry asked.

“What else could it be? I mean… you … I….” Anna sighed as she tried to think of the right words.

“Anna. I… I love you. This… This isn’t just a fling. I love you. I want a life with you.” Harry admitted.

“Do you?” Anna challenged.

“Of course!” Harry immediately replied softly.

“Then WHY HARRY?” Anna suddenly burst out, the barriers suddenly dropping as every emotion splayed across her face. “Why would do this to me Harry? Why? Why would you make me feel like this? Why would you keep this from me? Why would you make me feel like I am nothing? Why would you make me feel like I am nothing to you? Why would you do that Harry? Why?” Anna let go and started to cry, really cry.

“I… I don’t know. I didn’t… I never… Anna please…” Harry didn’t know what to say to help her.

“Why Harry?” Anna repeated as she cried into her hands.

“I never wanted you to feel like that Anna. I love you. I love you so much. I wanted to protect you. I never thought that it would come to this. I never thought that… that this would happen. I never wanted this to happen.” Harry said quickly, his voice wavering with emotion.

“This doesn’t feel like you were trying to protect me. This really feels like you were laughing at me.” Anna said, her voice muffled as she kept her hands in front of her face, refusing to look at Harry.

—

“No please Anna. I just… please just listen to me.” Harry gently took her hands away from her face.  
Anna looked at him expectantly.

“I love you Anna. Please. I love you. I… I can’t believe how… who… what an incredible person you are. I can’t… I need you. I love you. Please don’t leave me.” Harry begged watching the tears fall from her eyes.

“I can’t understand why you wouldn’t just tell me.” Anna didn’t move her hands from Harry’s. She needed his warmth right now, even though it was still hurting her.

“Because I didn’t want you to think that something was happening. I didn’t want you to be worried.” Harry said softly.

“How is finding out like this any better? You could have just told me. I do so much better with the truth than lies Harry.” Anna shook her head.

“This shouldn’t have been anything at all.” Harry sighed heavily.

“But you hid it from me Harry. That’s what hurts. It hurts Harry. I’m hurting.” Anna sniffled.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry said sadly.

“I don’t think I am asking too much Harry. Am I? Am I asking too much?” Anna asked, the tears slowly subsiding.

“No. No you aren’t.” Harry shook his head vehemently.

“I’m stronger than you think Harry. I know I don’t look it right now.” Anna huffed out a laugh as she wiped away some of the tears that were under her eyes. “But I promise you I can handle the truth. I just need you to tell me.”

“I promise I will Anna. Anything you want to know, I will tell you.” Harry quickly promised.

“I don’t want to have to ask Harry. I want you to want to tell me.” Anna confirmed.

“Of course Anna. I promise.” Harry repeated looking hopefully at her.

“OK.” She replied simply.

“I love you Anna. So much.” Harry said sincerely.

“I love you too. Please don’t do that to me again.” Anna replied heavily.

“I love you. I want you to know every part of me. I want you see all of me.” Harry paused as he realized how much he loved Anna.

“What?” Anna asked sensing his hesitation.

“I want to spend my life with you Anna.” Harry said seriously.

“What? No you don’t.” Anna shook her head surprised.

“I do Anna. I can’t think of anyone I love more, anyone that I would want more to grow old with. I love you Anna. I… I want to marry you.” Harry said slowly, realizing how much he wanted her. It was like a physical ache in his chest. He didn’t want to be away from her. He couldn’t hurt her like that again, because when she hurt, he hurt. He wouldn’t put her through that pain again. Never.

“You don’t Harry. You’re just high on emotions.” Anna disagreed.

“I’m not. I know it’s too soon now. But, I mean it Anna. I love you. I will marry you one day.” Harry was completely confident in what he was saying.

“Harry… I…” Anna didn’t know what to say. The entire conversation had taken a turn that she wasn’t prepared for.

“It’s ok. You don’t need to say anything. I just love you. That’s more than enough for me right now.” Harry assured her.

“Harry.” Anna said his name quietly not sure what she was thinking. Harry bridged the gap between them as he gently kissed her. He wasn’t expecting her to kiss him back, or to react to quickly, but she did. Harry’s heart swelled with love for her. She was the one. He loved her completely, wholly, and purely. She was the one.

—

Niall’s fingers were aching by the time he’d finished writing everything down. His bleary eyes saw that the clock read 3:30am. He stretched out his tired muscles and closed the notebook he’d been writing in. It was like spending an evening with Anna again. All of their memories, he hadn’t deleted the photo’s from his phone. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. While he sung he could pretend that he was still singing to her. He hadn’t just lost the love of his life. He’d lost a friend. Someone who made him laugh, someone who made him feel worthy of love, that he could be loved, that he didn’t have to work for it. It was never hard with Anna. Sure there were hard times and they’d fought, but life seemed easier with her. She was clarity, she was funny, she was perspective. Niall knew who he was with Anna; he knew what role he played. He loved her. He loved her so deeply that the scars on his heart continued to open, even when he thought that they’d long since closed.


	40. How am I meant to be an adult?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bow-chicka-wow-wow
> 
> Also... this story is almost done... in like... three more chapters I think

Harry’s hand travelled farther up Anna’s thigh as he kissed her, pleased that she didn’t stop him. The tea on the coffee table was long since forgotten as he gently lay her back on the couch and blanketed her body with his own. Her legs automatically spread for him rest between them.

“I love you Anna.” Harry breathed pulling back from the kiss. Anna smiled, her eyes melting as she lightly brushed away some of the hair that had fallen forward into his face. Slowly Harry lowered his face back to Anna’s and connected their lips. He could feel the rigidity in his jeans starting and the more he tasted her, the more it grew. His hip bucked into her automatically and he was surprised to hear her moan in response. They were both fully clothed, he was amazed that she was getting as much pleasure just from this as he was. That said, Harry knew it wasn’t enough. He knew that he needed to be buried deep in her, calling out her name, Anna calling out his, he knew that he needed that to be satisfied.

Harry bent his knees under his body and wrapped his arms around her back before pulling them into a sitting position, Anna almost straddling him. Her body shifted again the stiffness in his jeans and he let out an involuntary groan. Carefully Harry wrapped Anna’s legs around his waist and stood from the couch.

“Shit. Put me down.” Anna pulled back from the kiss as she noticed Harry was carrying her.

“What?” Harry asked walking them towards the bedroom, Anna tightened her legs around his waist and tried to hold her own weight.

“Put me down. I’m too heavy.” Anna squealed.

Harry laughed loudly, “You are really not.”

“I am. Put me down.” Anna yelped again.

“I plan on it.” Harry murmured as he entered the bedroom. The room was spotless, thanks to Anna, and the bed freshly made. Not for long. Harry gently lay Anna back on the bed and hovered over her.

“I can’t believe you carried me.” Anna groaned covering her face with her hands.

“It really wasn’t hard. And it’s about to be worth it.” Harry kissed under her jaw and slowly made his way down her chest, fingers playing with the hem of her shirt.

“Just take it off already.” Anna laughed as Harry lightly brushed his fingers across her skin.

“Bit keen.” Harry smirked as he hooked ran his hands up her body and lifted the shirt over her head.

“You’re the one that carried us to the bed.” Anna reminded him as she pulled his face back to hers.

“Touche.” Harry mumbled against her lips feeling himself strain against the material of his pants as she kissed him.

Anna groaned lightly as Harry’s hips bucked against her own.

“I want you Harry.” She breathed as Harry sat back slightly to look at her. “I just want you, all of you.”

Harry nodded seriously, sitting back further to remove his clothing, her own hands made quick work of the buttons on her jeans and she was already sliding the material off her legs.

“What do you want?” Harry asked her as he removed his boxers, his erection springing free of its confines.

“I just want you Harry.” Anna’s eye flicked down to him and he twitched in response.

“I want you to tell me what you want.” Harry said lowly as he covered her body with his own, his stiff erection pressing against the inside of her thigh.

“You want me to talk?” Anna sqeaked, blush slowly rising up her neck.

“Do you mind if we try it?” Harry asked nervously, looking down on her.

“Um yeah… I don’t really… I haven’t ever…” Anna bit her lip nervously.

“I’ll start us off.” Harry said before tilting his head to kiss her.

Anna nodded quickly as Harry pulled back from the kiss. Her eyes were soft and trusting and Harry felt the urge to burry himself deep in her grow.

“OK. I want to burry myself deep into you. I want to feel the warmth of you completely take me. I want to push into you as far as I can go so that all you are feeling is me.” Harry’s voice was soft, and even his own words were turning him on. “What do you want?”

“I…” Anna stumbled over her words.

“It’s ok love.” Harry encouraged her.

“I want you to kiss my… chest.” Anna whispered.

“You want me to kiss your chest?” Harry quirked his eyebrow at her before he started to kiss her jaw line.

“Yeah. Um. My… my breasts.” Anna coughed slightly, embarrassment clear in her tone.

“Then what?” Harry asked, his voice was muffled as he kept his lips connected to her skin.

“I want you to…” Anna thought about what she wanted. How she was meant to say this?

“Do you want me to touch you?” Harry asked.

“Yes.” Anna answered immediately.

“Where?” Harry prompted.

“Everywhere.” Anna muttered breathily.

“I need more direction than that love.” Harry tried to encourage again.

“I need your hands… in… me. But your mouth. I need it…” Anna stuttered she didn’t know what she was saying.

“I’m going to kiss your perfects breasts. I’m going to fuck them with my mouth. They are perfect. So full. The perfect size.” Harry groaned out before he started to suck on her nipple hearing her gasp in response.

“Yes Harry. Do that.” Anna knotted her fingers into Harry’s hair, holding him against her. “Your fingers Harry. I need them.”

Harry smirked against her skin as he moved a hand down to heat. He was surprised that there was so much lubrication. She was so ready for him and they’d barely moved. Harry heard a gasp from Anna and he removed his fingers.

“Fuck Harry. I need you.” Anna suddenly said pulling his head up from her chest.

“What? What do you need?" Harry demanded working to keep his voice soft for her.

“I want you to fuck me. I need you to fuck me hard. I need all of you. I want you to bury yourself so deeply in me that we don’t know where I end and you start.” Anna said quickly, the blush was still on her cheeks but her eyes were sharp, studying him as he studied her.

“You… Fucking hell.” Harry felt the release of pre-come as she spoke.

“I want you buried deep Harry. As deep as you can go. I want you to come in me. Coat my walls. Remind me that I am yours and that you are mine. That there is no one else.” Anna was getting braver, more adventurous.

“Fuck Anna.” Harry breathed again, this time he rubbed himself lightly over her slit, surprised when she shifted her hips and he started to slide into her easily.

“Tell me Harry.” Anna prompted as Harry started to push into her, feeling her muscled moved around him. There was no better feeling.

“You feel so fucking good. Taking all of me, taking it so easily.” Harry could feel the drops of sweat start to bead on his forehead.

“You are mine Anna.” Harry growled, surprised when he slides easily thrusting to the hilt, his hips were pushing against hers.

“No one else can fuck you like I can.” Harry said aggressively. “No one can love you like I can.” Harry said, his voice much softer.

The warmth spreading through his body was pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

“No one can make me feel the way you do.” Anna agreed as she arched herself off the bed in satisfaction.

“I need to go deeper Anna. Can you roll over?” Harry was biting his lip, so much so he thought it might split.

Anna nodded desperately as Harry pulled out of her. His cock was covered in her body’s natural lubrication and the slightest breeze in the room sent shivers down his spine. Anna rolled over, tucking a pillow under her hips, her arse raised in the air. Harry released his lip from his mouth, fearing that he might soon taste blood as he ran his hands over her bare arse and squeezed lightly, hearing her moan in response to his touch.

“You need to tell me… you need to talk to me.” Harry gasped as he ran his tip of her slit, gathering more of her body’s liquids.

“Please Harry.” Anna’s voice was muffled but she tried to look over her shoulder at him. The sweetness and innocence of Anna’s voice had Harry surging forward and pushing into her deeply.

“Oh.” Anna squeaked as Harry pushed through her muscles, stretching her out.

“Holy…. Fuck.” Harry was buried deep, she was surrounding him completely, her body over took every thought.

“You take me so well.” Harry gasped as he slowly pulled back. Every single ridge and bump of Anna was gripping him tightly, not wanting to let him go.

“Fuck. You’re so warm. You body is gripping my so tightly. I want to… I need to… I’m going again. Talk to me Anna. Tell me how if feels for you.” Harry could feel sweat dripping down his back.

“Harry.” Anna gasped, she seemed incapable of forming words. “You are filling me up comp-” Anna halted as Harry thrust into her deeply. “-pletely.” She finished in a loud groan. “Do it again Harry. Go hard. Push.” Anna encouraged lifting her hips slightly.

Harry didn’t need to be told twice as he started to bury himself into her over and over again, he breathy moans and gasps encouraging him on further. Harry’s legs were giving out, he had no idea that sex could feel this good.

“Keep going Harry. Don’t stop.” Anna cut through his thoughts.

“You like it. You want me to keep going. You like the way that my body fits into yours. The way your body takes me so well. We were made to fit together Anna.” Harry’s body was shaking and the sound Anna was making was pushing him closer and closer to release.

“Keep taking it Anna. Feel all of me. Take all of me.” Harry was chanting.

“Harry!” Was all Anna managed to squeal before she was completely coming apart around Harry. Her body tensed and Harry could barely move in and out of her as he body held onto him tightly.

“Fucking…Anna.” Harry gasped as he rushed inside her. His orgasm went on and on the more that Anna clenched around him. Eventually he collapsed on top of her, his sweaty chest, connecting with her equally as wet back.

“Fuck Harry.” Anna was breathing deeply.

Harry easily slipped out of her and rolled onto his back. The head of his cock was red and swollen, glistening with their joined bodies love.

“That was….” Harry didn’t have words. He’d never felt like that. He’d never had sex like that. Even the best that he and Anna had had wasn’t anything near something like that.

“So we’ve worked out a kink of yours.” Anna removed the pillow from underneath her and rolled into Harry. He immediately put his arm around her and pulled her to his chest.

“What’s that?” Harry was working to get his breath even.

“Someone likes dirty talk.” Anna grinned while blushing.

“Oh… yeah.” Harry chuckled. He’d just wanted to try it out and admittedly the words that came out of his mouth were a lot tamer than what he was thinking, but he really didn’t want to scare Anna.

“Who knew.” Anna’s heart was beating erratically and Harry’s still felt like it was going to fly out of his chest. “Sorry that I wasn’t… that I didn’t…”

“Hey. You did great. Practice makes perfect.” Harry grinned, kissing her slightly on the head.

“I guess you’re right.” Anna smiled.

“Did you…. Was that ok for you?” Harry asked suddenly concerned.

“More than. Practice makes perfect though.” Anna looked up at him.

Her eyes were clear green, all traces of stress from the start of the night were gone and she looked at him with love.

“I love you so much Anna.” Harry could feel his heart aching with the love he had for her.

“I love you Harry.” Anna replied surprised with the depth of his sincerity.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Harry mumbled, thinking that she didn’t hear him. He was getting sleepy and his body was completely spent.

Anna didn’t respond and soon they were both fast asleep, wrapped up completely in each other.

—

Anna woke up hearing Harry mumble beside her.

“No. I’ll ice the cupcakes.” Harry slurred before laughing. Anna rubbed her eyes and rolled over to look at him. He was smiling, his lips moving but no sound coming out.

“Harry.” Anna whispered his name, smiling at him. He looked… beautiful. There was no other way for Anna to describe him. His lips moved in response to his name but not enough to make a noise. Anna was completely enamored with him. She slowly raised her hand and gently pushed some of his curls out of his face.

“But…” Harry said clearly before he smiled and snuggled further into his pillow.

“Harry.” Anna tried again gently.

“I just love her.” Harry sighed. Anna felt her heart warm to him. She didn’t realize that Harry spoke in his sleep. She didn’t want to wake him up, she wanted to hear more about his dreams.

“I feel bad for him.” Harry mumbled a crease in his brow as he spoke. “But I can’t help…. Yeah.” Anna felt ice run down her back. He had to be dreaming about Niall, but it still came back to her. Anna continued to study Harry as he slept, thinking about the choices that she had made to lead her up to this point. From her friendship with Lou, her relationship with Niall, the break up… the break ups, the cut off, trying to move on, dating Harry, coming to LA, fighting with Harry… She was in LA with Harry. Even though the timeline was right in her head, she still had no idea how she had got to this point. She wasn’t with Niall anymore. She was happy with Niall. She was comfortable with Niall. Why was she still struggling to move on from Niall? But here, lying just in front of her was a man that she whole-heartedly loved. She loved Harry, with everything that she could. Just like Niall she felt the need to protect him, she was jealous over him, she wanted to be the one that made him smile, made him laugh. She wanted to be that person for him. For right now she was, but Anna always had doubt in her head. Was she ever going to be enough for him? He loved her now, but what about tomorrow? What about a month from now? He said that he wanted to marry her, but Anna didn’t think that he really knew what that meant. Would she marry him? Is that where they were headed? It was far too early for that, but what about Niall. What would he say about it? Would he give his blessing? Anna knew that she was thinking about things way into the future, things that she wouldn’t be thinking about for years, but she couldn’t stop herself.

Anna was a planner; she liked to know where she was headed in life and for almost two years, that hadn’t been the case. Having these people in her life had thrown everything upside-down. Harry sighed heavily in her sleep and Anna was snapped back to reality as he continued to sleep. What was she doing? It was all she ever asked herself at the moment. What was she doing?

—

Anna started to put her things in her bag while Harry slept. Eventually she took a shower and when she exited the bathroom Harry was lying on his back, light snores spilling out of his lips. Anna got dressed a heaviness settling in her heart. She was leaving Harry. It was only going to be for two more weeks but the fights that they’d had during the week weren’t forgotten. They were stupid and they were small but they still stuck to her. Anna sighed heavily as she zipped up her bag. Harry was still asleep. Maybe she should just leave now. Maybe she didn’t need to say goodbye. Maybe it would be easier that way. Anna shook her head, knowing that they were all lies. Harry would absolutely throw a fit if he couldn’t see her off. So instead she took her bag out of the room and decided to wander… well limp about the house.

—

Harry was restless, the warm body he wanted lying beside him wasn’t there. Harry stretched out, reaching for her. He could smell her, but maybe that was just the sheets? Slowly he opened his eyes and looked around the empty room. Her bag was gone, no trace of her left. Harry threw the covers off his body quickly before pulling on some loose pants and stumbling out of the room. He knew she flew out today, but she wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye… would she?

“Anna?” Harry called out to the echoing house, hoping that she would answer, somewhat knowing that she wouldn’t.

Harry checked the kitchen, the lounge room, even the guest room but she was nowhere to be seen. Not a trace of her left in his house. Harry ran back to the bedroom to grab his phone. There were a few messages from other people, but none from Anna. Frantically he dialed her number. It rang a few times before she picked up.

“Harry?” She sounded confused.

“Anna!” Harry’s voice sounded broken. “Where are you? Are you gone?”

“I’m… I’m outside Harry.” Anna started to laugh.

“Outside where?” Harry demanded as he headed for his back doors.

“In your backyard idiot.” Anna laughed again.

Harry swung open the back door, the bright early morning sun temporarily blurring his vision as he searched for her.

She was sitting in the love swing, swaying softly as she smiled over at him. Harry hung up the phone and strode purposefully toward her.

“Good morning.” She grinned moving so that he could sit next to her, which he gratefully did.

“I thought you left.” Harry pouted as he sat back against the seat.

“You’d think I’d leave without saying goodbye?” Anna asked innocently.

“The thought crossed my mind.” Harry mumbled embarrassed.

“Can’t think that much of me then, can you?” Harry could hear the smile in her voice as she moved under his arm, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Just worried.” Harry muttered before placing a brief kiss on the top of her head.

“I would never leave you without saying goodbye Harry.” Anna replied faintly.

—

“I don’t want you to go.” Harry said after a long silence of them just enjoying each other’s company.

“I need to. I need to see my mum. Lou. I’ve abandoned them long enough.” Anna sighed sitting up from his chest.

“What were you doing out here anyway?” Harry asked looking over at her.

“Reading.” Anna held up a thick, heavy book.

“Where did you get that?” Harry asked looking at the cover. “CBT to Help Young People with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) to Understand and Express Affection.” He read aloud.

“I brought it with me.” Anna answered simply.

“You brought that with you?” Harry asked in disbelief.

“Yes…” Anna answered hesitantly.

“Why would you bring that with you?” Harry laughed lightly, a rush of affection for her running through his veins.

“What?” Anna smiled at him, book marking the page and closing it.

“It’s… what are you?” Harry shook his head grinning at her.

“I’m a teacher.” Anna shrugged. “It’s just a bit of research for the coming year.”

“Anna….” Harry shook his head again. “I just love you.”

“What?” Anna giggled, the sound warming Harry’s heart.

“I wish that I could put it into words properly.” Harry sighed.

“You’re the song man… you should be good at that.” Anna smiled at him.

“You just…” Harry hesitated. How was he going to tell this woman that he loved her completely, without repeating something he’d already said.

“You care Anna. More than anyone I’ve ever met. You care about your students, your family, your friends. You love so much. I just…. I don’t understand how much I love you. You make me want to be a better person. You make me laugh. You make me feel… this sounds so stupid… You make me feel whole.” Harry could feel a lump in his throat and his eyes were glassy. He flicked his gaze over to Anna to see her lip quivering and he looked away quickly.

“You’re just out here… on your time off… reading a book about… I don’t even know what… for your students. You are forgiving and kind. You are kind Anna. I can’t believe how… I can’t believe that you would love me.” Harry sniffed, the weight of his words settling over the both of them.

“Harry.” Anna’s voice cracked.

“Anna I just love you. I’ve loved you for so long.” Harry said quietly.

“Harry. I love you.” Anna said quietly, brushing some of the hair away that had fallen in his eyes. “I don’t want you to put me on this pedestal. I’m just the same as you.”

“No Anna. You are so much more. You do so much more.” Harry shook his head adamantly.

“Harry.” Anna sighed, while she was still smiling at him. “Don’t underestimate what you bring to the world; hope, love, acceptance to so many people. I love you Harry. Because you are you, but please don’t put me on a pedestal that I can’t live up too.”

“I just want you to know how I feel about you Anna. I love you with everything that I possibly can and even then it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.” Harry replied quietly.

“Trust me Harry. You are so much more than enough.” Anna curled his hair behind his ear before she kissed him lightly.

—

Anna landed in London exhausted. It had been an emotional goodbye and she was ready to flop into her bed. There were photographers at the airport trying to get a photo of her and Harry. She tried to ignore them and act like they didn’t bother her, but they did. They really did. She was sure that they got a photo of Harry kissing her and she cringed to think what story would come out of that. It also ruined a nice moment between them. Between the whispered “I love you’s” and the secret kisses, the moment was stolen from them by greedy photographers. But Anna was home now, she could put all of that behind her. She had a week before she needed to start properly preparing for the start of school and she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to try to spend every waking minute with Lou, her mother or anyone else she wanted to see.

—

It had been so long since Niall had spoken to Anna. He’d had a few short conversations with Harry, but he didn’t know if Harry had spoken to Anna about them. It had been so long, why wasn’t he moving on from her? He couldn’t get out of his mind how it felt to be with here. She felt like home, she felt like a piece of him and now that piece was missing. Did she still feel like that? Did she feel like there was piece of her missing? He couldn’t believe the last conversation that they’d had. He was such an idiot. He didn’t want to keep wanting. He wanted to move on. But she… Anna… she was still so much part of him. When was he going to get closure?

—

Anna was surprised at how quickly time moved when she was at home and before she knew it time was running out and she needed to start preparing for the New Year. She’d told John that she would do a trial at heading up the department. Just for a term, maybe even a semester and just see how it went. She wasn’t really expecting to start a relationship with Harry over the break. This was going to be so much extra work on her, how was she going to handle Harry when he went on tour again. It was still a long way away but the voice in her head… specifically Niall’s voice, “What’s going to be different this time?”. Anna didn’t have an answer to that. She wanted an answer. Anna was still plagued by guilt over the fact that she was dating Harry. Was this always going to hang over her head?

Anna groaned in frustration. Why couldn’t she just make up her mind about anything? The same things that she struggled with, with Niall she knew that she would struggle with Harry. The longer he stayed in LA the more Anna remembered what it was like to be on her own in a relationship. But then… this time… she didn’t mind. Why didn’t she mind? Was it because Lou was there for her? Was it because she was starting up a new school year? Was it just because it was Harry? Anna didn’t know. She… wanted Harry. She wanted him with her, just to come home to. Wasn’t that what she really wanted in life: Just someone to come home to? And yet here she was, torn over a man that would… essentially only be able to provide that a few months, a few days of the year. Anna needed to go for a run. It was all she did when she was stressed out. She was getting quite good at it. Choosing longer tracks, steeper inclines, Primrose Hill was a distant memory now. Thanks to all this mental anguish she felt ninety percent of the time, she was really becoming quite fit.

—

Anna could see a familiar face jog toward her and she slowed to a stop as Adam ran up to her.

“Anna.” He smiled brightly, albeit quite puffed.

“Adam.” Anna smiled genuinely. It had been a while since she’d seen him, and it was wasn’t that she missed him, it was that he comfortable.

“I’ve heard you been travelling.” Adam said, Anna didn’t miss the way his eyes ran over her body and she wondered if he would be ok with just being friends.

“Just a little bit.” Anna was glad that the blush on her cheeks was blending in with the exertion of running. “How about you?”

“This is a bit weird as we are both out running, but should we get a drink?” Adam asked indicating a café that was a little way down the road.

“Um. Sure. Why not.” Anna shrugged, she could use the break.

“Really?” Adam asked surprised.

“Sure. Ok.” Anna smiled as they walked towards the café.

—

“So what have you been up to?” Anna asked as they sat at a set of table and chairs close to the window.

“I got a promotion actually.” Adam replied happily.

“Oh congratulations! That’s brilliant!” Anna congratulated him.

“Yeah, it’s all very exciting and terrifying.” Adam smiled down into his drink and Anna could see the stirrings of blush on his cheeks.

“Tell me about it.” Anna prompted.

“You don’t want to hear about my boring work.” Adam shook his head laughing.

“I absolutely do. Tell me about it.” Anna smiled warmly at him.

—

“And so I move to Scotland next month.” Adam finished telling the story of his promotion after a particular difficult time.

“Oh wow. You are moving to Scotland!” Anna was still surprised.

“Yeah. It’s all very sudden and everything but I’m looking forward to it.” Adam replied happily.

“You look happy.” Anna commented.

“I am I think. It will be different, but exciting.” He answered still smiling. “Anyway, tell me about you. Are you heading the department?”

“I am actually. Just for a trial to see how it all goes.” Anna said, pleased that he remembered their conversation that happened so many months ago.

“That’s excellent Anna. I’m thrilled for you.”

“Yeah. I don’t know how it’s going to go yet. I have to go back to school… to work, early and start prepping things for the New Year.” Anna said quietly.

“You don’t seem happy about it?” Adam queried, his blue eyes were studying her carefully.

“It’s nothing….” Anna paused before it all spilled out. “It’s just I feel like I haven’t really had a break since the last school year ended. I’ve had time off, but I still feel so… messy in my head. You know? Like I’m just not ready for this. I just feel… I feel too young.”

“I think that’s a reasonable thing to be feeling.” Adam said in understanding.

“I just don’t know how I’m meant to cope with it all. How… How am I meant to be an adult?” Anna laughed.

“When I work that out I’ll let you know.” Adam laughed as well.

“I don’t know. I just look at the people around me, I look at you and you just… you have your shit together. I just don’t.” Anna shrugged shaking her head.

“I don’t think that you give yourself enough credit.” Adam disagreed.

“I just don’t really know… I don’t know. I don’t know what I am doing I guess.” Anna sighed sitting back in her chair. “That’s why I run, you know. It gives me a chance to clear my head. It’s really the only thing that I know that I am doing… right I guess. I’m sorry. I’m totally lumping all of this on you. You don’t want to hear about any of this.” Anna shook her head and sat up again, regaining her posture.

“It’s ok Anna. Really. I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, but I really like you. You also sound like you needed someone to talk to.” Adam was extremely caring and Anna found herself slightly disappointed that there was no spark between them. He was stable and comfortable. He was technically what she needed, but he wasn’t what she wanted.

“It’s that thing of… I have a million people that would want me to talk to them… but… I don’t know. They are too close to me? Does that make sense?” Anna wasn’t making any sense today and she couldn’t believe that Adam was still there listening to her rambling.

“I actually know just what you mean.” Adam smiled warmly at her.

—

Anna didn’t know how long Adam and her had sat in the café talking, but by the time they left it was getting dark. Anna was amazed at how quickly they reconnected. She wondered if it was because he was no longer a potential love interest she could just chat like good friends. They said their goodbyes and Anna began to walk home. Her muscles were sore after not stretching from the run and sitting down half way through, so walking seemed to be the only option before she crippled herself. Anna finally returned home and turned on the lights in her apartment. It was empty and Anna felt ok about it. Harry was due back to London at the end of the week and she was looking forward to seeing him again. They’d spoken a few times and he sounded like he was having fun, like he didn’t want to come home. Anna understood. Harry had always loved LA. She remembered when they had a break earlier on and Lou had come straight home, Harry spent he majority of the time in America. She didn’t think that her being in a relationship with him would change anything, and honestly she didn’t want to change him. It was just the difficult realization that things were never going to be easy for them.

—

After having a shower and stretching out her taught muscles Anna flicked on the television, flipping through channels not really watching anything. There was a entertainment news show and Anna was about to flick past when she heard the presenter say Kelly’s name and Anna couldn’t quell her curiosity.

“More on that story after the break.”

Anna could flick away; she didn’t need to watch something about Kelly. It was probably something about the night out that she’d seen Harry and Anna. That was almost two weeks ago. They must have been scrambling. Anna stayed on the channel waiting for the show to begin again.

“It seems that Kelly Mathers and Harry Styles have had quite the reunion in Los Angles. After photos of Styles and the mystery woman he’s been seen with lately emerged from the very same place that Mathers was holding her 23rd birthday, it seemed that any chance of reconciliation between Mathers and Styles was out the window after a particularly brutal blow to Harry from Kelly.” They played a clip from outside the club where Harry was saying something to Kelly before she slapped him. Anna winced. It didn’t seem to bother him as he jogged over to where Anna was and the clip was cut short. “However the pair have been seen a few times this week meeting up at different locations after Harry was seen bidding adieu to the mystery girl almost two weeks ago.”

They showed a few paparazzi pictures of Kelly and Harry sitting outside a café. Then walking down the street. Two different outfits, two different days. Anna swallowed the lump in her throat as the story wound down and they moved onto something about a movie star promoting a new movie. Harry hadn’t said anything about seeing Kelly. She knew that she shouldn’t have watched that story. Curiosity killed the cat after all. Was she meant to say something to Harry about it? This was frighteningly similar to the events with Niall and Anna honestly didn’t think that she could go through that again. Was history repeating itself? She didn’t want to be the jealous girlfriend. Harry didn’t need to tell her where he was every second of the day. But he’d promised that he was going to tell her. He was going to be honest with her about Kelly.

—

Anna turned off the TV and decided to read her book instead. She could just focus on work instead. Harry might still tell her what was going on. Maybe he was just waiting until her saw her face to face to explain what was going on. Anna was trying, really trying to not over think about what was going on. She always did and she really didn’t want this to affect her. But it was. She needed to shut it out of her mind so she dove headfirst into planning for the coming term of school. She was going to throw everything she had at her work and give Harry the chance to tell her what was going on.


	41. I couldn't be what you needed

Niall really wanted to talk to Anna. He really wanted to apologize to her. He just… he needed closure of their chapter of his life. That’s what he told himself as he finally built up the courage to call her number.

“Hello this is Anna.” She picked up the phone after only a few rings and Niall was immediately speechless.

“Hello?” She called out to the empty line. Niall immediately hung up the phone. What was he doing? He pulled on the roots of his hair and practiced his lines again. ‘Hi Anna. It’s Niall. Please don’t hang up. I need to apologize.’

Taking a deep breath he dialed her number again.

“Hello this is Anna.” She picked up the phone faster this time.

“Hi Anna,ItsNialmsorry.” His words ran together as his nerves over took his brain.

“Niall?” Anna asked surprised.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s me.” Even just her voice sent cooling waves over Niall’s mind.

“Um. Hi.” Anna answered awkwardly.

“Hi. Look. Um. First up. I’m so sorry. I’m just… I’m so sorry. I never meant any of it.” Niall took a deep breath.

“Oh. Right. Ok.” Anna still sounded surprised that she was talking to Niall after all this time.

“I was just wondering… could I… could we… catch up sometime? I would really like to see you… and you know… make it up to you.” He asked his heart was in this throat. There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“You… you want to catch up?” Anna finally asked nervously.

“Yeah… if … you would be ok with that? I understand why you wouldn’t be. But I just… I miss you.” Niall was horrified by what he just said. “NO! I didn’t mean that. I mean. Yes I did. But I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Ahh. Sorry.” He was surprised to hear Anna chuckle softly.

“Uh. Yeah we can catch up.” She everntally said and Niall wanted to vomit.

“Really? Well… whenever you want. I’ll make myself available.” Niall replied hurriedly.

“I’m actually free right now if that works?” Anna suggested.

Now? So Soon? YES Niall internally screamed.

“Uh yeah, actually now is good.” He tried to say casually.

“Are you at home? At your home I mean?” Anna asked quietly.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to…”

“I’ll come you then yeah?” Anna cut him off. “I’ll see you in about 20minutes.”

“Uh. Yeah.” Niall spoke around the lump in his throat. “See you soon.” He hung up the phone with shaking hands. Anna. She was coming here. To see him. After all these months. Just her and him. She was coming.

Anna checked her appearance once in the mirror before she left the house in a hurry to get to Niall’s house. She had no idea why she was so eager to see him. It was probably more to get out of the house and stop stewing over the fact that Harry hadn’t said anything about seeing Kelly and he was meant to land back in London tomorrow. One of his assistants was picking him up. He asked Anna, but she didn’t have a car, and as much as he told her that she could take one of his, she adamantly denied the offer. The plan was for him to be dropped home and then he would come see her, but Anna had been avoiding confirming the details. She still wasn’t sure if she should confront him about Kelly, or wait and see if he would bring it up with her. Eventually Anna was standing out the front of Niall’s place. It had been so long since she’d walked out all those months ago. So much had changed. Was she doing the right thing? Before she could talk herself out of it she knocked on the door.

—

Harry boarded his plane nervously. He didn’t know how he was going to tell Anna? He could tell that she was closing off from him from the times that they’d spoken on the phone. Did she know? How did she know? How couldn’t wait to touch down and see her. Kiss her, talk to her, love her, he just wanted to be with her. 12hours. 12 hours on a plane and he would be able to see her again. He missed her for two weeks. Two weeks without her felt like two years. He loved being LA and there was a very real past of him that didn’t want to leave and wanted her to come back to him. This is what it was always going to be like. He would always be away from her. Could he do that? He now understood what Niall went through when he was away from her. If Harry thought that he loved her before it was nothing to what he was feeling now for her. Quitting the band to be with her wasn’t an option. But he still had another three months to spend with her before he would be gone again. Harry sat in his seat nervously. He just needed to get home to her and talk to her.

—

Niall answered the door almost immediately making Anna stumble back. The grin on his face was forced as he tried to act normal. Anna smiled at him as she walked through the doorway past him and he could feel his exterior crumpling. Even just her smell, her perfume as she walked past him was enough to make him into jelly.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Niall offered as he led her to the kitchen.

“How much hard liquor do you have? I can’t imagine this conversation is going to be easy.” Anna laughed lightly and Niall felt the butterflies in his stomach from her voice.

“I have a whiskey.” Niall raised an eyebrow at her.

“I wasn’t being serious Niall.” Anna laughed and shook her head.

“Weren’t you though?” He asked grinning at her. This felt natural, comfortable, easy.

“Maybe like 2% serious.” Anna smiled at him and his heart leapt slightly. He still had the same effect on him that she did when she’d first met him.

“But can I actually get you anything?” He asked seriously.

“I’m ok, thank you.”

“Should… we sit?” Niall asked awkwardly.

“Oh. Can we sit outside on your balcony?” Anna asked hiding the excitement in her voice. “I just loved it out there.”

“Ah yeah, of course.” The balcony was off Niall’s bedroom. He was praying that he’d cleaned up after himself, but he knew that he hadn’t.

—

“Still as messy as ever.” Anna tutted sarcastically as he opened the door and led her out to the two chairs.

“Old habits die hard I guess.” Niall smirked at her while he took a seat opposite her. They sat in comfortable silence for a long while. Niall was surprised at how natural it felt. It wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward. It was just the two of them, watching the London street life go by.

—

“I need to apologize Anna.” Niall finally broke the silence when he worked up the courage to speak. “I didn’t mean any of the things I said to you that day.”

“I know you didn’t.” Anna nodded in understanding and Niall felt some of the tension leave his body.

“It was wrong of me and I have no idea how to make it up to you.” He continued, his hands twisted nervously in his lap.

“You know what. It’s ok. You don’t need to worry about it. I mean, I was shattered when you said it. But… I don’t know. I guess I get your point.”

“No, none of it was truth Anna.” Niall shook his head adamantly.

“Yeah…. No. I mean I handled things just so badly. You had ever right to be hurt.” Anna shook her head.

“Regardless of that. Anna. I’m really sorry. We both… we both…” Niall huffed out a sigh. “I’m just sorry and I need to know that you forgive me.”

“Oh Niall.” Anna smiled at him and took one of his hands in her own. “You are absolutely forgiven. Will you forgive me for the terrible things I’ve put you through?”

“You have nothing to apologize for Anna.” Niall shook his head. He thought that he could feel his blood running through his veins at her touch, sensitive as he was about it.

“I do. I’m sorry Niall. I’m sorry that I was… I am so selfish.” Niall could see the tears making her eyes watery.

“Well, even though you don’t need to apologize for anything. I absolutely accept your apology.” Niall grinned at her and she blinked away the tears.

“Where does that leave us now?” Anna asked quietly.

“Where do you want it to leave us?” He mumbled in return.

“Honestly. I just… I want you to be happy. I want to be able to… I don’t know. I want you to be happy Niall. I miss you. I want to be friends again. I really hate not talking to you.” Anna suddenly burst out. Niall was surprised. This entire time he was sure that she was ok, that she was completely wrapped up in Harry. Niall didn’t think that Anna had ever spared another thought about him.

“You really mean that? You miss me?”

“Of course I do Niall. You were such a huge part of my life and then suddenly you were gone because I’m an idiot.” Anna sighed heavily. “I have so much regret about what I did. So much guilt.”

“Do you really?” Niall asked cautiously watching Anna nod sincerely.

“You’re with Harry now.” Niall pointed out.

“I am.” Anna agreed.

“How does that sit with your regret?”

“I regret the way that I handled everything and I regret that it had to be like this. But it is.” Anna answered honestly.

“I regret letting you go.” Niall mumbled.

“I didn’t really give you a choice.” Anna shook her head.

“I could have come to you. I should have flown out immediately. I regret that. That I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

“It really did all become too much Niall. That’s not your fault.” Anna said quietly.

“I just….” Niall groaned rubbing his eye in frustration. “I don’t want to upset you.”

“It’s fine. Really. Let me have it.” Anna shrugged, she sounded defeated, like she knew that at some point the conversation would go this way.

“I just don’t understand how you think that it will be any different with Harry? We still are touring, he’s still going to be away. What is going to be different?” Niall asked in a rush, watching her reactions carefully. Anna thought for a long time before she answered.

“I… don’t know Niall. It’s different between him and I. Different to how we were together. I’m not saying it’s any worse or better, it’s just what it is. Different. Honestly I don’t know what is going to happen.”

“I just don’t want to see you hurt Anna. After all this… after all this shit I still love you and I still want the best for you.” Niall sighed heavily.

The weight of his words settled between the two of them.

“I care about you Niall. I really do and there’s still part of me that really loves you. It’s funny. I just feel like I can’t let you go. You’ve made me feel amazing, and you’ve been such a support for me, but then there are times that you’ve really made me feel terrible, you made me feel really shit and you’ve said some awful things to me. But I can’t…. I can’t get you out of me. Whatever it is. I just need you in my life and I’m sorry that it’s not the way that it was.”

—

“Do you remember that time that we went to that sports store because you wanted to get me some golf balls and you picked up the bright orange ones?” Niall asked suddenly.

“When we first started dating?” Anna clarified confused.

Niall nodded in response smiling at her.

“Yeah and the prices of the balls were ridiculous.” Anna remembered.

“Yep. You said you couldn’t believe such a tiny ball would cost so much… No. That you couldn’t believe that people would pay so much money to whack some tiny balls?” Niall laughed.

“Yeah, I remember.” Anna grinned at the memory.

“That was when I first realized I loved you.” Niall said seriously. “Because I knew that you would always make me laugh, and I felt like you would always bring warmth into my life.”

“I had no idea.” Anna’s cheeks tinted pink with the stain of a light blush.

“You made me feel complete that day.”

“I remember when I first realized that I loved you.” Anna said quietly.

“When?” Niall asked eagerly.

“We went for a drive… maybe out to Stonehenge. I don’t remember where we were going actually. But we stopped to get some petrol. And you were pumping petrol into the car and I opened the door and I was watching you, and you smiled at me and I realized ‘I love this man’.” Anna said quietly, almost abashedly.

“Really?” Niall asked surprised as Anna hummed in response. “I never knew that.”

“Well….” Anna shrugged.

“That’s such a mundane task.” Niall laughed loudly.

“Yeah. I think that’s why it stuck out to me.” Anna shrugged again.

“That’s really funny.” Niall laughed again.

“I also think I knew one of the moments when… when I thought I couldn’t anymore.” Anna heard Niall’s sharp intake of breath.

“When?” He was afraid to ask.

“It was about a month before we broke up.” Anna answered truthfully.

“A month?” Niall interrupted her.

“I pushed it to the side and didn’t think about it until after.” Anna said in her defense.

“What was it?” Niall asked.

“I woke up one night and I realized that I couldn’t be what you needed. I realized that you needed so much more and I couldn’t give it to you. I realized… I wasn’t enough.” Anna’s voice dropped to a whisper by the end.

“You… you thought you weren’t enough for me?” Niall asked incredulous.

“I knew I wasn’t enough. I knew that in the moment that you needed someone to talk to… you wouldn’t come to me… because you didn’t… and I knew that something was wrong.” Anna sighed heavily and sniffing.

“You never said anything!” Niall stated.

“I told you, I pushed it to the side, then we broke up and things went on, and you did things and I tried to move on and I knew that… that I wasn’t what you needed in the end.”

“I can’t believe you think like that. That you did think like that!” Niall said completely shocked. “You were everything that I wanted and needed and I have no idea if I will find anyone that I can love the way that I love you. What is it that you think that I need Anna?”  
Anna sighed heavily, biting her lip as she thought.

“Availability.”

—

“This is nice.” Niall commented after a long time, “Just hanging out.”

“Yeah. I mean it’s a bit awkward.” Anna laughed.

“I was trying to ignore that.” Niall smirked.

“Sorry. Just thought I would bring it to your attention.” Anna smiled across at him seeing him smile back at her.

“That’s the thing that really sucks about breakups and it was the thing that I was the most scared of when we got together.” Anna sighed.

“What’s that?” Niall asked.

“I lost a friend. I never wanted that.” Anna said sadly.

“I lost you.” Niall agreed miserably.

“What’s the possibility of us going back a year and being friends?” Anna asked quietly. “I know it’s so much to ask.”

“There’s so much that happened between us Anna…” Niall heard her sniffle from beside him. “But I miss you and I would do anything just to have you back in my life. Whatever that means.”

“Really?” Niall could see Anna’s eyes barely holding back tears.

“Hey don’t cry.” He smiled at her.

“I’m not.” She chuckled as a tear dropped down her cheek. Niall shook his head smiling at her.

“I just miss you.” Niall sighed.

“I miss you too.” Anna replied. “Thank you.”

“What for?” Niall asked curiously.

“Loving me the way you do, even when I don’t deserve it.” Anna let out a shaky breath.

—

Harry rang Anna’s phone as soon as he landed surprised when it went straight to voicemail. Nicole picked him up from the airport; there were a lot of photographers around asking about Kelly and Anna. Not using Anna’s name of course but trying to get any piece of information that they could. Harry kept his head down and ducked into the car, breathing out a sigh of relief when they drove away.

“You ok?” Nicole asked as they stopped in heavy traffic.

“Yeah fine.” Harry nodded absentmindedly as he tried to call Anna again.

“How was the flight?” Nicole asked when Harry hung up after reaching her voicemail again.

“It was ok.” Harry shrugged before sighing heavily and watching the traffic pass by.

—

“I should go.” Anna finally sighed after she and Niall spent another hour catching up.

“Do you have to?” Niall grinned at her.

“Yes.” She nodded smiling and standing up.

“Thank you for coming over Anna. I’m really glad we are talking again.” Niall pulled her in for a hug, which she gratefully accepted.

“Thank you Niall, for everything. I just want you to know that I am here for anything you need.” Anna said, as they pulled apart.

—

“We’ll talk soon yeah.” Anna said as she opened his front door. Waving behind her, she left and walked toward the tube. She felt lighter. She’d been carrying around the guilt from hurting Niall, and the hurt that he’d inflicted on her, finally she could release that. Finally she could start being Anna again.

—

Niall watched Anna walk down the street away from his house. As much he loved her and as much as they hurt, he was so relieved that they were able to just spend time together. He missed her and after spending most of the day with her, he remembered why. She was just light. She was a light to him and he’d been missing her. He was one step closer to moving on from her and for the first time he was okay with it.


	42. I'm the only one saying it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second last chapter. It's a long one.

Harry nervously knocked on Anna’s door. He had a key but after being away it felt weird to be using it, so instead he knocked and waited. There was no answer so he knocked again. Still no answer. Harry dug his phone out of his pocket and started to call her when he was surprised by her voice behind him.

“Harry?” She sounded surprised.

“Anna!” He said excitedly hanging up the phone and bounding down the stairs toward her. She was holding some bags of groceries and he immediately took them out of her hands.

“What are you doing here?” She asked unlocking the door and letting them both into the house.

“I flew back today, remember?” Harry asked a little upset that she didn’t remember.

“Oh that was today? Sorry. I completely forgot. Welcome back.” Anna took the bags back out of his hands and walked to the kitchen. Harry couldn’t understand why she was being so distant.

“Are you ok Anna?” Harry asked following her through the house.

“Fine. Just want to get these away.” Anna smiled indicating the bags she was holding.

“I can help.” Harry said holding out his hands.

“It’s fine, really.” Anna said placing the bags on the bench and starting to pull things out. “How was your flight?” She asked as she starting putting things away.

“It was fine. Why didn’t you answer my calls?” Harry asked watching her move around the kitchen as he sat down at the bench.

“Oh, my phone’s been on silent. Sorry.” Anna continued to put away the food she’d purchased.

“Where is your phone?” Harry asked curiously.

“Probably in my bag in the hallway.” Anna answered absentmindedly as she put more food into the refrigerator.

“Do you want me to get it?” Harry asked standing up from the chair he was sitting on.

“Yeah sure.” Anna hummed as she stood up looking around the kitchen like she was missing something.

—

Harry dug through her bag and found the phone and sure enough it was on silent like she said. He didn’t want to be a jealous boyfriend, he didn’t want to be someone that didn’t trust her, especially as he had hidden things about Kelly from her, but he was relieved that she was telling the truth. He clicked on the screen and sure enough there were two missed calls from him and no one else. Again he breathed a sigh of relief as he walked back to the kitchen with her phone.

—

“Anything interesting?” Anna asked as she folded up the grocery bags and put them under her sink.

“Oh. I uh… didn’t check.” Harry lied. He didn’t know why he lied.

“Sure you didn’t.” Anna scoffed as she took her phone from Harry. “Sorry I missed your calls.” She said looking up from the screen.

“It’s ok.” Harry said quietly.

“Ok. Sorry. Hi. Welcome back.” Anna said happily putting her phone on the bench and coming around to see Harry properly.

“Hi. You said that.” Harry smiled at her.

“Yes, but you caught me off guard before, so now I can actually pay attention to you.” Anna smiled as Harry pulled her in for a hug and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I missed you.” Harry breathed into her hair. “Happy to be home.”

—

“So, how was the rest of LA?” Anna asked as they lay on the couch flicking through different TV channels.

“Not the same without you.” Harry said smirking at her.

“Oh well aren’t you sweet.” Anna smiled.

“Actually I erm… I ran into Kelly.” Harry said nervously.

“Did you now?” Anna feigned surprise.

“Yeah. Once when I was just out and about. Totally by surprise. Felt like she was following me to be honest.” Harry laughed. Anna didn’t join in.

“Then again. I erm… I met her for lunch.” Harry said after a brief pause.

Anna hummed in response.

“So… that happened.” Harry said nervously trying to gauge how Anna was taking the news.

“Right.” Anna said quietly.

“Do… you want to know about it?” Harry asked.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Anna countered.

“I do. But I’m not sure if you want to hear about it.” Harry answered honestly.

“Am I not going to like what I hear?” Anna wondered.

“No. It’s nothing bad.” Harry said quickly. “I wanted to have lunch with her so that I could talk to her about … about us.”

“Us?” Anna asked sounding distrustful.

“Us. You and me yes.” Harry answered. “I just wanted to clear the air with her. I love you Anna and I am so committed to you.”

“That’s what you spoke to her about?” Anna was surprised.

“Yeah. I didn’t want her… I don’t want her to be an issue with us.” Harry replied, he was playing with Anna’s hands nervously.

“The only issue we have is that you dated her.” Anna laughed.

“Heeeey!” Harry poked her stomach making her laugh.

“Stop it.” Anna giggled as Harry continued to tickle her. “Stop. Please. Stop.”

She finally managed to grab Harry’s hands and stop them from wreaking havoc on her body.

“I love you Anna.” Harry said seriously as he saw her flustered face.

“I love you.” Anna beamed at him.

—

-On my way.- Niall read the text from Anna smiling. He knew that Harry was back in London but he didn’t care. Anna was coming to see him. Well, him and his family. They’d come across for the week and were staying at his house, Maura, Gregg, Theo and Denise. The house was full for once and Niall loved it.

“I don’t understand. She’s dating Harry?” Gregg asked as he watched Theo dance in front of the television.

“What don’t you understand? We broke up, she’s dating Harry and we are friends.” Niall said shortly.

“Yeah, but… isn’t that weird?”

“A bit. But I’ll do anything to have her in my life and if this is all I can get, then I’ll take it.” Niall replied shrugging.

“That sounds pathetic.” Gregg shook his head.

“I still love her. I think I always will. I’m ok with it.” Niall shrugged again.

—

Anna wasn’t sure why she didn’t tell Harry that she was going to see Niall, more that she was going to see his family. Anna had only met Harry’s sister a couple of times, including when she caught them at Harry’s house. Anna stood in front of Niall’s house, no idea what she was doing, but still excited to see Niall’s family.

—

“She’s here.” Niall said excitedly as he heard her knock on the door. Theo came hurtling down the hallway after Niall, almost tripping a few times screaming ‘Nanna!’

“Why Hello there.” Anna laughed as the toddler nearly launched herself into his arms.

“He’s been so excited.” Niall smiled as she walked past him holding Theo.

“How are you?” Anna asked as he closed the door. Theo’s chubby hands latched onto Anna’s face and pulled her attention back to him.

“I got cars.” He said simply before trying to wiggle himself down onto the ground. Anna nodded seriously to him and put him down before he ran into the living room.

“Fine. You?” Niall asked. It was still awkward, as they didn’t know how to greet each other properly. They used to hug and give a quick kiss on the cheek but, was that still acceptable? They both didn’t know so instead they were surrounded by awkwardness.

“Good. Ha…” Anna turned Harry’s name into a cough. It was unspoken between them that they wouldn’t talk about Harry.

“Come on. Everyone’s in the living room.” Niall smiled, as he led the way.

—

Harry didn’t know where Anna was. She said that she was going out, but didn’t say where. He wondered if he should call her, but he trusted her. Besides Ed was in town and had asked to catch up. Harry clicked off his phone and picked up his car keys. He trusted Anna. So why did he have such an uneasy feeling right now?

—

“So good to see you Anna.” Maura hugged her as she and Niall entered the room.

“You too. How are you?” Anna asked as she was released from her grip.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” Maura replied happily. Anna looked around the room and saw Theo sitting on the floor playing with a car while Denise and Gregg sat on the couch.

“Hello.” Anna said politely with a small wave. Denise smiled back and Gregg… didn’t really acknowledge her presence. Anna supposed that was fair. She did break his brothers heart.

“It went alllll the way up the mountain.” Theo said holding the car above his head and showing Niall.

“Did it now?” Niall asked excitedly.

“Yep.” Theo nodded seriously. “And then BUSCHK, crash.” Theo threw the car to the ground, giggling when it bounced away from him.

“He’s talking so much.” Anna commented happily to Denise who looked extremely thrilled.

“Love his books and his cars, this little one.”

Anna smiled watching Niall play with Theo. Occasionally Theo ran up and showed Anna something, a new car, or an army man he was playing with, before running back to Niall to continue their play. At some point Gregg left the room, but Denise stayed behind with Maura. Anna was quite happily chatting to them both and they seemed like they weren’t holding a grudge against her. She didn’t know why Niall invited her over today, but she was extremely glad he did. It was nice just to be surrounded by family.

—

“Where’d Gregg head off too?” Niall asked eventually as Theo sat on the couch next to Anna, flipping through the pages of a book and occasionally telling her a story line that he’d made up.

“Went to the kitchen a while ago I think.” Denise answered smiling at Theo and Anna.

Niall stood up and went in search of his brother.

—

Not too long after Niall had left the room, Anna could hear raised voices coming from the kitchen.

“No Niall. I won’t sit around and pretend like everything is ok.” Gregg’s voice floated through the house and Anna felt herself tense up.

“You’re both acting like nothing happened and she bloody broke your heart.” Gregg yelled. There was a pause while Niall replied too low for anyone to hear.

“Well then you are a bloody moron. She’s using you and she’s no good for you Niall. Why can’t you just let her go and move on with your life?” Gregg voice was getting louder and louder. Theo stopped showing Anna the book, becoming aware of the tension in the room.

“Because I love her!” Niall finally yelled back.

“She doesn’t love you Niall. She’s moved on.” Gregg was still yelling and Anna could feel ice in her veins.

“I should go.” She said quietly standing up from the couch. Theo’s bottom lip trembled as she stood up.

“No. Love. Don’t.” Maura said quietly.

“She hurt you Niall. I’m never going to be ok with that. She went and whored herself out to your best friend.” Gregg shouted and Anna could feel herself paling.

“I need… to…” She looked around the room frantically for her bag. This was a bad idea. She shouldn’t have come.

“No. Nanna.” Theo started to cry as Anna looked more and more like she was leaving.

“Don’t you DARE saying anything like that, or you can get out of my house.” Niall shouted, his voice rough with emotion.

“I need to go. Maura, Denise. Lovely seeing you. I…. I’m so sorry.”

“Everyone else is thinking it Niall. I’m the only one saying it.” Gregg roared back. Anna heard something slam against the bench. She needed to escape and fast.

“FUCK YOU GREGG. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!” Anna had never head Niall yell like that. She didn’t have time to say goodbye, she didn’t want to go into the kitchen. Theo was crying as Denise picked him up. Anna looked around the room frantically as Denise and Maura who both had horrified looks on their faces.

“Tell him I’m sorry.” Anna said desperately.

Maura nodded and response and Anna fled from the house, the door accidentally slamming on her way out.

—

Anna could feel the tears starting to come as she walked as fast as she could away from Niall’s house. Everything that Gregg was saying, were things that she already knew, and that she was saying to herself. It was foolish to think that she and Niall could be friends. It was foolish because she knew that there was a part of her that was still in love with him. It was just that… her love for Harry was growing every day. She didn’t want it to be this messy, but this was what it had come to. Anna turned sharply when she heard Niall calling her name.

“Anna, please. Wait.” He called out as he jogged towards her. His face dropped when he saw the tears in her eyes.

“Anna.” He was speechless as he looked at her. What could he possibly say that would help this? “I’m so sorry you heard that.”

Anna shrugged as she laughed with no humour. “It’s all true though. He’s right. He is the only one that’s saying it.”

“No Anna. No.” Niall immediately denied. The want to hug her and hold her to him was overwhelming.

“It is. I hurt you. I broke us up. It’s my fault. And then… to date Harry? What was I thinking? I… shouldn’t… I shouldn’t be doing this. This is my fault. I hurt the people that I love.” Anna let a few tears escape down her cheeks as Niall’s face fell. His eyes were searching hers frantically.

“No Anna, please.” Niall shook his head, wanting to reach out to her, but not wanting to scare her off.

“I’m sorry Niall. Truly. Deeply. I’m so sorry.” Anna turned again and started down the street.

Niall watched her retreat, his arm outstretched as if he could still reach her. He saw her pause midway down the street before she hunched over and started to cry. Niall ran towards her as she held her head in her hands.

“Anna. Anna!” He wrapped an arm around her as she cried.

“I’m sorry Niall. I’m so sorry.” She was trying to calm down her breathing, but it wasn’t working.

“You don’t have to be sorry about anything Anna.” Niall’s heart ached for her.

“I do. It’s all my fault. You might not say it, but I know that it’s true.” Anna shook her head, she couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Anna. I don’t believe that. We both had our issues.” Niall didn’t know how to comfort her.

“Yes. But it was me, Niall. All of this is on me. I’m so sorry Niall. I never wanted to hurt you. I… I’m just not good. I need to leave. I need to get out of here. You are so much better off with out me. Everyone is so much better off without me.” Anna sniffed before she suddenly stopped crying.

“That’s not true Anna. You mean so much to me. I can’t imagine my life without you.” Niall replied earnestly.

“It would involve a lot less heart break. It would mean that you are happy Niall and that’s all I want. I want you to be happy. I’m so sorry that I ruined us. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I’m so sorry Niall. I need to go. You need to be happy.” Anna shook her head and kissed him lightly on the cheek before she turned away wiping her eyes. As she was walking away she heard Niall’s whisper.

“But I just got you back.”

—

Harry was more than a little bit tipsy. He was a lot tipsy. He hadn’t heard from Anna all day and Ed was encouraging him to drink more and more. Harry knew he should stop but as Ed ordered another round, he couldn’t refuse. If Anna wanted to contact him, she would. He wasn’t going to worry about it. Anna loved him and he loved Anna. There was nothing for him to be worried about.

Harry looked down at his phone surprised to see that Niall was calling him. He couldn’t remember the last time Niall actually called him, they’d texted each other of course, but not actually spoken in a long time.

“Lo’ Mate.” Harry answered his voice was husky with the alcohol he’d consumed.

“Harry!” Niall sounded frantic. “Have you heard from Anna?”

“Nope.” Harry popped the ‘p’. “Why? Have you?” He sat up a little straighter. Niall hadn’t asked about Anna for a long time. It was unspoken between the two of them.

“I… Um… no… yes.” Niall stuttered over his answer.

“What’s going on Niall?” Harry asked sobering up.

“She came over to see the family today and it didn’t go well and she left a long time ago and she’s not returning my calls and I don’t know where she is and I’m worried Harry. I’m worried.” Niall said all very quickly.

“She was over… at your house…. With your family?” Harry clarified as he stood up from the table.

“Yes, but she left and I don’t know where she is.” Niall said, his breathing heavy.

“I’ll call her.” Harry said shortly before he hung up his phone.

“I have to go Ed. Good seeing you.” Harry said quickly looking between his phone and his friend.

“No bother. Send my regards to your lovely lady.” Ed smiled, saluting him before Harry walked away, his legs feeling like jelly as he dialed Anna’s number.

It went straight to voicemail and Harry wasn’t surprised. Hailing a taxi he directed them to Anna’s place, while he tried to call her over and over again.

—

Anna sat in the bathtub crying. She knew that her phone would be blowing up, she knew that Niall would tell Harry that she was with him today, she knew that everything was falling apart around her. Why was she such a terrible person? To use two of the most wonderful men she’d ever met. She was selfish. She was unkind, she was bad, she was terrible, she was a slut, she was a whore. The words circled around in her head as she cried. She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t true, but she knew that it was. She knew that she was just going to keep hurting all the people that she loved. Why? Why did she do it? Why couldn’t she just not feel anything? She wanted to not be able to feel anymore. She wanted to go to sleep and wake up when her life had sorted itself out. She felt like she constantly made the wrong decisions and whatever she did was going to hurt someone. Why? Why did it have to feel like this? Why did she have to exist?

Anna hadn’t cried like this since her Grandmother had passed and it seemed like she’d been holding herself together by a thread since then. Now everything was falling apart at the seams and Anna was bursting. A crack had appeared on her dam wall and leaks were slowly running through her. Now, she wasn’t strong anymore, and the wall had fallen. This is who she was. She was the young woman sitting in an empty bathtub sobbing. She should have told Harry that she was seeing Niall. She should have told Niall how it was all her fault long ago. There were so many regrets that she lived with every day and she never felt like she was learning anything. She didn’t feel like she was moving forward.

Anna wanted to help people, that’s why she became a teacher, but right now, she couldn’t even help herself. How was she meant to keep on going? Was life going to be better for everyone if she wasn’t there? The selfish part of her wanted to think that people would be sad that she was gone, but facts were facts and people moved on with their lives. Everybody kept moving and soon she would be a distant memory. That was ok, wasn’t it? Just to be a memory? What did people remember more? The happy times or the sad? Anna hoped that people would look back at the good times that they’d had together rather than the times that she’s monumentally ruined things. Anna shuddered as another bout of tears racked themselves through her body. She felt weak and her hands were shaking. Is this really where she pictured her life going? Crying in a bathtub about the two men she loved and the two men that she ruined.

—

Anna could feel her eyes drooping with exhaustion as she cried. Maybe she would sleep in here tonight. She didn’t deserve the comforts of a bed; she was a dirty, harsh, worthless person. She didn’t deserve love, because each time she was given it, she seemed to ruin it. Anna didn’t want to be breathing. Every breath she took was a reminder of how much pain she was in, how much pain she caused. Anna didn’t want to see, everything around her reminded her of Harry, or of Niall and it was just another reminder that she wasn’t good enough for them. Anna didn’t want to hear. Her head was filled with the angry screams and yells of her own voice, repeating the hateful thoughts, reminding her that she was a terrible person, that she wasn’t worthy of love. Anna didn’t want to feel, because what she was feeling now, was far too much hate and hurt, and pain and hopelessness for one person to handle. Her head felt like it was splitting open, her muscles were tense and sore and all Anna could do was cry.

—

Harry raced up Anna’s front steps and pounded on her front door. When she didn’t answer he fumbled for her keys and unlocked the door.

“Anna” he called out to the seemingly empty house. “Anna?” Harry ran between the bedroom, the guestroom, the living room, the kitchen looking for her. She wasn’t answering and Harry was worried. He checked the bathroom briefly and almost didn’t see her. She was curled into a small ball, sobs wracking through her body as she rocked herself back and forth. She was having a complete meltdown and Harry had no idea how to approach her.

“Anna?” His voice was soft and gentle but she didn’t react to it. It didn’t even look like she heard him, or knew that he was in the room with her.

“Anna. Baby. Can you hear me?” Harry tried again as he crouched down beside the bathtub. Anna still didn’t acknowledge his presence. She seemed to be saying something over and over again and Harry leant forward to hear her.

“I can’t. I can’t do this. This needs to be over. I can’t. I can’t.” She seemed to be repeating it over and over again. Harry felt like someone had poured ice down his back. He had never realized how fragile Anna was. He never realized how much she struggled and he was frightened. He didn’t know how to help her.

“Anna.” Harry’s voice was soft as was his touch as he reached out to her shoulder. She flinched away from his warm hand and continued to cry.

“Anna, baby. I’m right here with you.” Harry tried again, this time able to touch her shoulder without her moving away. Anna raised her head slowly and Harry could see the tear streaks down her face, which was red and swollen. Her eyes were glowing green, brighter than Harry had ever seen, emphasized more but the glassiness of the water in her eyes.

“I can’t do this Harry.” Anna whimpered. Her voice was rough and she sounded broken.

“Can’t do what? Talk to me.” Harry encouraged, nothing but concern in her voice.

“Me. This. Life. I can’t do it. It’s too much.” Anna shook her head.

“You can. You can do it.” Harry encouraged.

“I can’t Harry.” Anna shook her head as a few more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can’t. I’m not right. I’m not good. I hurt everyone. I hurt you. I hurt Niall. I’m not… I can’t Harry. I really can’t.” Anna took deep shuddering breaths that shook her whole body.

“You can. You haven’t hurt me. You are good Anna. So good. Please Anna. Believe me.” Harry begged, he moved his hand to take her own and he felt her squeeze it tightly.

“I don’t know how Harry. I really honestly don’t know how.” Anna shook her head as more tears began to fall. Harry could feel her hand shaking in his and he held onto her just as tight.

The words couldn’t come to Harry’s head as he watched her cry in front of him. All he could feel was his heart aching with every tear that fell down her cheek.

“Please Anna. Talk to me.” Harry begged.

“I just… I feel worthless Harry. I’ve seen Niall. I’ve been seeing him. As friends.” Anna said quickly. “And it just reminds me how much I’ve ruined someone so beautiful. I’m reminded constantly how… how low I am.” Anna’s hands were shaking.

“Where is this all coming from Anna?” Harry asked, he didn’t know how to help her.

“It’s always been there Harry. I’ve just tried to push it down for so long that I can’t anymore. I’ve been lying to you, to everyone. I wanted to think… I wanted to be good. But I’m just not Harry.” Anna’s voice shook and Harry could see the hopelessness in her eyes.

“Anna. Baby. Please believe me. I love you for who you are. Everything you are. So did Niall because you are good, Anna. You are so wonderful.” Harry tried to push home the truth.

“But what if I’m a fake. What if it’s all fake?” Anna shook her head.

“Tell me what you feel for me. Tell me, do you love me?” Harry asked. Anna nodded her head.

“Tell me how much.” Harry prompted.

“Harry I want to love you with everything that I am, but even that doesn’t seem like enough.” Anna’s bottom lip trembled with more tears threatening to release themselves.

“Do you think that you could fake the love that you have for me?” Harry asked, his face searching her.

Anna looked like she was about to answer, but halted herself.

“No. I don’t think I could fake that.” She answered slowly.

“Who you are Anna. Who you are is who I love. I promise you, you aren’t fake.” Harry cupped her cheek with his free hand, pleased when she leaned into him.

“I feel so useless Harry.” Anna shuddered.

“You aren’t.” Harry disagreed.

“What about Niall?” Anna sniffed.

“What about him?” Harry asked as he pushed some of her hair out of her face.

“I’ve hurt him so much.” Anna said quietly.

“Anna. If you ask Niall I am sure that he would say that he would rather have you in his life than nothing at all.” Harry replied quietly.

Anna nodded, although she didn’t look like she believed it.

—

“Why are you so kind to me Harry?” Anna asked as he held her against him on the couch. It had taken a long time to get her to come out of the bathroom and sit down with him. But finally, here they were.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, his fingers lazily stroked up and down her arm.

“You’ve been there through some of the completely awful parts of my life. I keep pushing you away and you keep coming back.” Anna sighed as she lay her head on his shoulder.

“I love you Anna. I would do anything for you.” Harry replied simply.

There was a long pause between them as Anna thought over that.

“Would you leave me if I asked you to?” She asked quietly.

“What?” Harry’s fingers stilled against her skin.

“If I asked you to leave me… If I thought it was better for both of us, would you do it?” Anna asked, her eyes were closed as she paid close attention to Harry’s breathing patterns.

“I… I don’t know Anna. Why would it be better?” Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. If she asked him to leave her, he wouldn’t, he knew that he wouldn’t. She might push and push and push but Harry would always come back to her. Truth be told, Harry couldn’t clarify why he loved Anna so much. He just knew that to not have her would feel like his soul was splitting in two. To not have would feel like he wasn’t himself anymore. He knew who he was around Anna, he knew the kind of person he wanted to be for Anna, and even though he’d done things wrong more than he’d done right with her, he knew that he still loved her with everything that he had. He couldn’t let her go. Even if she begged him.

“Because… I might bring you down. Or… your music, that’s important.” Anna listed out some reasons, none of them were enough for Harry.

“I wouldn’t leave you Anna.” Harry shook his head as if to confirm it.

“But if I asked you…” Anna said again.

Harry sighed heavily. “I love you Anna. I do. So much. Sometimes you don’t know what is best for you; sometimes you don’t know what’s best for me. Separating from you is not best for you or me, Anna. If we both decide together that we are not bringing out the best of each other. That’s when we can be apart. But I don’t see that happening.”

“Did I make a mistake with Niall?” Harry could hear the heaviness in Anna’s voice.

“I can’t answer that. Whatever your choices were, it led you to me so I can’t ever say that you made a mistake when I have you now.” Harry said, his hands started the movements across her skin again.

“Will I ever not feel guilty about this?” Anna wondered aloud and sighing. “I just wish someone could tell me that what I did was right, that what I am doing is right.”

“To me it was right. To me, having you with me feels right. Is that not enough?” Harry asked, his voice was soft.

“I want it to be Harry. I do.” Anna answered earnestly.

“But it’s not?” Harry enquired.

“To stop the guilt I’m feeling. No.” Anna shook her head and buried her face into Harry’s chest.

“What stops the guilt then Anna?” Harry asked as he held her against him. He wished that he could transfer the pain that she was feeling onto him, so that she wouldn’t ever have to feel it. As much as Harry hurt for what happened between Niall and Anna, and he hurt for both of them, he couldn’t stop the love that he had for Anna. He couldn’t stop being happy that she was talking to him, loving him, lying with him on the couch, coming home to him. He couldn’t feel bad about that, as much as he wanted, it felt too right.

“I need to be hurt. I need Niall to hurt me. I need him to move on from me. I need… I need Niall to forgive me.” Anna said looking up at Harry, her eyes were still bloodshot and she looked completely exhausted.

“He already has, Love.” Harry said softly.

Anna shook her head in denial. “No. Not enough. Harry. I need to suffer. I need to hurt like he hurt. I need to be… I want to die sometimes Harry.” Anna said wildly, her eyes were fearful.

“Banana. Please. That wouldn’t solve anything. That would just be more heartache.” Harry said as his heart broke. How could she think like that?

“It’s all this… stuff that’s going on in my head and I just need it to be quiet… and I just… I need Niall to be ok.” A tear escaped Anna’s glassy eyes as she spoke.

“Ok.” Harry said digging his phone out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?” Anna asked confused as Harry put the phone to his ear.

“I’m calling Niall.”


	43. Finished.

Niall looked at his ringing phone seeing Harry’s face. Harry had sent him a message to let him know that he was with Anna and she wasn’t doing well. That he would contact him later. He guessed that now was later enough.

“Harry, is she ok?” Niall asked. He tried to squash the concern in his voice down, but that clearly wasn’t happening.

“Can you come over? To Anna’s I mean.” Harry’s voice was soft through the phone.

“Now?” Niall asked surprised.

“Yeah, is that ok?”

“Yeah. I’ll… I’ll be there soon.” Niall hung up the phone and looked around his bedroom. There was something sick in his gut about going there. Like this was going to be make or break for him.

“I’m going out.” Niall said to Maura as he picked up his jacket.

“Everything ok?” She asked. Theo was asleep on the couch and Denise was watching the television. He hadn’t seen Gregg since their confrontation.

“Yeah. I’ll be back.” Niall nodded and smiled a tight-lipped smile before exiting the house.

—

“Why did you do that Harry?” Anna sat back off the couch and scrambled to stand up.

“Because Anna, you need to be happy, you need to be ok and I can’t just sit here and watch you continually punish yourself.” Harry answered slowly.

“I’m just going to hurt him all over again. I don’t know what to say to him Harry.” Anna said panicked.

“Just tell him the truth. Tell him what you told me- that you have this all-consuming guilt that you don’t know what to do with. Let him hear it and let him speak to you about it. You keep pretending like it’s not eating you up, but it’s killing you Anna and I’m not just going to sit here and let it happen.”

“What’s the point if I’m just going to hurt him all over again Harry?” Anna demanded.

“Are you though?” Harry shot back.

“Of course I am. If I have to tell him I don’t love him.” Anna choked on a sob in her chest.

“Is that what you want to say to him Anna? You want to tell him that you don’t love him because I know that’s a lie.” Harry challenged.

“Harry.” Anna’s voice was hoarse.

“It’s ok that you love him Anna. It’s really ok. I just don’t want you to keep lying to yourself.” Harry shook head, running his hands through his hair.

“I love you Harry.” Anna whimpered.

“I know. I know you do.” Harry comforted her.

“I don’t know what I’m meant to do Harry.” Anna could feel herself falling apart again.

“Tell the truth Anna.” Harry kissed her on the head as there was a knock on the front door.

—

“Niall.” Harry greeted as he opened the door.

“Hey man.” Niall said as he entered the hallway. “How is she?” It had been such a long time since Harry and Niall had seen each other and it was in that moment that they both realized how much they missed each other.

“I don’t know.” Harry shrugged. “I’ve missed you brother.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Niall finally smiled.

“She’s in the living room.” Harry said returning the smile. “I’ll go make a cuppa.”

—

Niall entered the room nervously. Anna was sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. Helplessness was radiating off her body in waves.

“Anna.” Niall sighed before striding across the room, sitting next to her and pulling her to him.

“Hi Niall.” Anna’s voice was muffled by her hands.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” He asked softly, feeling her cry under his arms.

“I don’t know Niall. I honestly don’t know.” Anna shook her head and leaned into his chest.

“Then why are you crying?” Niall chuckled lightly.

“Because I don’t know what else to do.” Anna sniffed before uncovering her face and looking up at him.

“Oh well take a deep breath, and you can tell me what’s going on.” Niall said calmly.

Anna shuddered a deep breath through her body as she tried to calm herself down.

“There’s that beautiful face.” Niall said smiling at her, successfully making her laugh.

“I look terrible Niall.” She shook her head smiling at him.

“Still beautiful to me.” Niall replied happily, his smile faltered when her smile dropped suddenly. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I… I’m not good Niall.” Anna shook her head, trying to calm her breathing before she started again. “I feel…. I have so much guilt about what I’ve done to you Niall. I don’t understand how you can still look at me, let alone come here and comfort me after everything that I’ve done.”

“You’ve not done anything Anna.” Niall said surprised.

“This is going to be a lot easier Niall, if you don’t lie for the sake of my feelings.” Anna said exhaling.

“I’m not Anna. I don’t know what you are talking about.” Niall denied.

“I’m not a good person. I can’t believe what I’ve put you through. What I’ve put Harry through. How can you even want to see me when I am with your best friend? That’s a choice that I made Niall. I chose that. A good person doesn’t do that.” Anna’s voice was shaking and Niall could hear her nerves.

“Is this about what Gregg said today?” Niall asked tensely.

“Yes and no. What he said was the truth Niall. What I’ve done is beyond forgivable. I feel so awful. This would be so much easier if you hated me. Why don’t you hate me?” Anna was begging.

“I don’t want to hate you Anna. You were such a lightness in my life and you made me so happy. I couldn’t hate you.” Niall shook his head confused.

“But then I started dating Harry, Niall. After all those times that you told me Harry liked me and I didn’t believe you. After all those fights we had when I said I wouldn’t do that to you. Then that’s exactly what I did. What kind of person does that?” Anna had resolved not to cry during this talk and it was getting harder and harder to hold back tears.

“But that was after we separated Anna. I don’t blame you for that.” Niall shook his head.

“But you should.” Anna burst out. “You should be so angry at me Niall. You should hate me. I hate me.”

“I was angry Anna. I was. But… I got over it. You…” Niall swallowed heavily. “You love Harry and that’s ok.” It was still so hard for him to say.

“Niall.” Anna huffed out her breath. “I love you Niall. Still. After all this I still love you. That’s what makes me a bad person. I just keep hurting you over and over again.” Niall’s eyes widened. He was not expecting Anna to say anything like that to him.

“I love Harry. I love you. That… I… Niall I am so sorry.”

“Hey… hey… it’s ok.” Niall was back to comforting her. She had broken again, as much as she tried not to cry, here she was again, crying.

“It’s not. I’m not a good person Niall. I need to know that you will be better off without me. That you are ok and that you are happy. I need to know that you don’t miss me, that you don’t need me. Honestly Niall. I need you to hurt me. I need to know that you are ok and that you are… that there is no…. I don’t know Niall. I need this guilt to stop eating away at me. This guilt that I broke you. That I break everything I touch. I need… this sounds so stupid. I need to be punished; I need to be held accountable for hurting you, because this wasn’t fair to you Niall. I wasn’t fair to you.” Anna spoke quickly and Niall struggled to keep up.

“No Anna. Don’t think like that. That would hurt me so much more. I don’t want that for you.” Niall shook his head adamantly. Harry still hadn’t returned to the room and Niall was glad. He knew that Harry was staying away for a reason.

“What do you want Niall? Say anything please. It’s yours.” Anna begged, her whole face looked fragmented, the light that was once behind her eyes was gone and all Niall could see was despair.

“Honestly Anna.” Niall took a deep breath. There were so many things that he wanted to ask of her. He wanted her back. He wanted her to love him, to leave Harry, to rewind and go back to when they were happiest. “I just want you to be happy.” Niall finally said realising the reality of what that meant for him.

“I don’t know how to do that.” Anna shook her head looking down at the floor.

“You need that with Harry.” Niall said sadly. He knew he had to let her go; it was only hurting the both of them.

“Niall.” Anna said his name simply.

“I meant what I said Anna. I want you to be a part of my life.” Niall replied.

“But it’s not in the way that you want Niall.” Anna disagreed.

“That doesn’t matter Anna.” Niall shook his head.

“It does Niall. What about what you want?” Anna asked quietly.

“I just want you to be in my life.” Niall said again.

“But it’s not fair to you Niall. It’s not fair.”

“Sometimes life just isn’t fair.” Niall shrugged. “I love you Anna. I really do. But more than anything I just want you to be happy and I know that you are happy with Harry.”

“Niall, you don’t understand. Every time I’m with Harry, I’m wondering if you are ok. I’m feeling all this guilt about how much I hurt you. I, me, I still can’t believe what I did to you. I don’t deserve to have either of you love me. I deserve for you to hate me.” Anna shook her head.

“Anna. Please. You don’t need to feel that guilt. You know that it hurt me, but my love for you and my want for you to be happy is so much more than that hurt. If I can see you happy, I want that Anna. I could never hate you.” Niall was so earnest that Anna could feel herself tearing up again.

“Niall.” Anna breathed his name. “I love you.”

“I love you Anna.”

—

Harry entered the room holding two cups of tea as he saw Niall and Anna standing and hugging. It felt the surge of jealousy that she clung to Niall so tightly and memories of them together triggered in the back of his mind. He’d listened to the entire conversation from the kitchen, knowing that he should stay away and give them time to talk. Niall was essentially doing what Harry knew that he wasn’t able to do himself. He was giving Anna up. He was putting Anna above himself. No matter what Niall wanted, he put Anna first. He could have asked for them to get back together and knowing Anna, seeing the hurt in Niall she would have done it. But not without feeling that same guilt for Harry. Harry was selfish. He wanted Anna. He needed her and he wasn’t going to let her go.

Harry cleared his throat and they slowly separated. Niall had a sad smile on his face and Anna wasn’t smiling at all.

“I made tea.” Harry said indicated the cups in his hands.

“I’m actually going to go.” Niall said quietly, he had his arm around Anna’s waist and she naturally leaned into him

“Oh right.” Harry put the steaming mugs down on the coffee table and Anna and Niall hugged again.

“I’ll talk to you soon.” Harry heard Niall say as they separated.

Harry was surprised when Niall hugged him tightly. Harry immediately hugged him back. He missed Niall and he didn’t want to lose his friend.

“Take care of her.” He said lowly to Harry before they separated. Harry nodded in response biting his bottom lip.

—

Anna and Harry were left in silence as the front door closed behind Niall.

“So what do we do now?” Anna asked as she sat down on the couch slowly.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked moving across the room to join her.

“Better. Not good, but better.” Anna sighed. Harry sat back on the couch and was surprised when Anna wiggled herself closer to him.

“Better is better.” Harry commented quietly.

“You didn’t answer my question. What do we do now?” Anna sighed leaning into his neck; he could hear how tired she was.

“Maybe we should just go to sleep and see where it takes us in the morning.” Harry suggested running his hands lightly up and down her arms.

“That sounds like a plan.” Anna said through a yawn.

“I love you Anna.” Harry said seriously as she curled up closer to him. There was no response from Anna and Harry swallowed heavily. Where did they stand?

 

\-------

 

FOUR YEARS LATER

 

\-------

“Make me wait why don’t you?” Niall laughed as she saw Anna walking towards him.

“I’m sorry, but this little guy didn’t want to get out of bed. Very much like his father in that regard.” Anna laughed as she indicated the pram that she was pushing.

“I can imagine. How are you?” Niall smiled as he hugged her before putting his attention to the squirming baby in the pram.

“Who, me or James?” Anna laughed as she lifted the hood and James could finally see Niall.

“Both.” Niall answered as he loosened the straps and pulled the baby free of his confines.

“I haven’t slept in three months…” Anna grumbled as Niall started making faces at him, pleased to hear a high-pitched giggle in response.

“You look amazing.” Niall commented, his eyes running over her body appreciatively.

“Well thank you for lying. Keep it up.” Anna sighed as they started walking. Niall bounced James along keen to hear him laugh again.

“So we wanted to ask you something.” Anna said slowly as they rounded the corner to the park.

“Yes?” Niall asked, his finger was caught in James’ chubby little fist as he tried to move it to his mouth, still not quite aware of how his hands worked.

“You know how much you meant to both… well the three of us. We wanted to know… why am I so nervous?” Anna laughed as James successfully drooled down Niall’s hand.

“Spit it out.” Niall encouraged with a look of disgust on his face when he felt his hand getting wetter.

“Will you be his godfather?” Anna asked nervously.

Niall looked stunned, looking between the gurgling baby and Anna.

“Well shit of course I will be.” He said happily, pleased to see Anna’s smile in response.

“Excellent if Harry or I die, he’s all yours.” Anna sighed exhaustedly.

 

End.


End file.
